DokterRock
AKA
Chris Hatfield
Chris Hatfield: Heartless Columbian Dictator. Strange, but true, this member of the gallery lives a bizzarre double life. By day, he appears to be a perfectly normal student at Central Michigan University, but each night he retreats to an undisclosed location to conduct his affairs as the head of state for an obscure South American country, the name of which I am not at liberty to reveal. Surveilence photos like the one shown above reveal his predilection, as dictator, to wearing dark suits, sporting odd little ties, and having his picture taken in grainy, film-noir style.
Chris's leasure activities shed some light on his bizzare second life. He likes to joke about the inferiority of women, consitantly advising them to "get back in the kitchen" or "make me a sandwich." Thusly, it comes as no surprise that, under his government, women are perpetually confined to kitchens where they perform no tasks other than sandwich making. Leaving the kitchen is punishable by death. Another of Chris's favorite series of jokes involve dead babies, and their presence in microwaves, with forks in their eyes, etcetera, which, in retrospect, seems quite obvious, as his government has banned Cabbage Patch Kids in all forms, destroying them by sticking forks in their eyes, putting spears through their heads, or microwaving them, and then placing them in nuclear testing sites moments before a detonation. DokterRock justifies this act by calling the loveable dolls "creepy, man!"
His plans for the future include world domination, so that he might force everyone to bow down before him, with the ultimate intention of forcing the members of the rock band Ween to admit him to the group.
Friendly and affable, he is a pleasure to meet in person.
Methods of contact:
AIM SN: Dokterrock