Frequently Asked Questions:
1) Who the hell are you, and what do you think you're doing?
First, get some tact. Then, you might want to check my About the Author page, which should at least explain who I am. As to what I'm doing, well, I'm making that up as I go along.
2) Will you put me in your Rogues Gallery? I'd be perfect for it!
No. No I won't. Only Bona-fide celebrities like those currently posted on the page will find themselves posted on my page in the future. If I already know you , and you feel you've been overlooked, feel free to bring this to my attention. Some people, I just don't have pictures of, so I haven't added them as yet. If I don't know you already, then good luck. . . odds are that you aren't important enough to be on the page in the first place. However, I will accept sexual favors from attractive members of the opposite sex as bargaining chips for a place in the gallery.
3) I don't understand the profiles in the rogues gallery. What do they mean?
They contain detailed dossiers of some of the most famous, dangerous, and mysterious figures in the known world, as well as a healthy and equally proportionate number of inside jokes. If you don't know the people, then you won't get the jokes, but might enjoy reading the profiles anyway.
4) Is this page a waste of my time?
Probably
5) Why is the rest of your page so nice, but your FAQ so hostile?
I don't have time for stupid questions like this.
6) It's your FAQ, so why are you putting the stupid questions in it?
I refuse to dignify this question with a response.
7) When will your page be done?
As long as I live, this page will never be finished. . . it's doomed to a lifetime of nearly constant construction and almost certain ruin in my accidetnt-prone, procrastinating hands. Rest assured, the more finished it becomes, the less sense it will make. I do, however, plan on updating this page at fairly regular intervals and adding new content and categories in order to keep your visits interesting.
8) So when will you make the next update?
Excuse me. Did I say "regular updates?" I meant "sporadiac and semi-nonexistant updates." My ambitions for this site far exceed the amount of time that I have to put into it, and, as a result, updates will be irregular and topsy-turvy at best, and drunken and diaherretic at the worst.
9) What's in the works?
I'm planning on adding some sort of "random musings" section, as well as some new rogues in the near future.
10) So who is Cthulhu, anyway?
Cthulhu is a Great Old One. He and his brethren ruled the Universe untold millennia ago, but now the stars are wrong and He lies sleeping in his city beneath the waves, R'lyeh. When the Stars Are Right He will emerge and feast, and those who worship Him will be elevated to places of power, and will live forever in an orgy of feasting, fighting, and etcetera. For more information on this up-and-comer, go to this helpful FAQ at www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/~amerell/CUWoCS/CUWoCS.html
E-mail me with additional questions
I'll add to the FAQ as circumstances warrant, and, indeed, at my whimsy. It'll probably end up being a giant text file, in classic FAQ fashion, but until then, enjoy the joys of HTML markup.