Cthulhu
AKA
Devourer of All
No matter who you are, this giant, semi-gelatinous, beast is destined to eat you. This may sound dire, but Cthulhu takes it in stride. Most people would be unhappy slumbering under the ocean for untold Aeons, but the dark Lovecraftian lord of prehistory quietly bides his time below the sea in his sunken city, perhaps playing canasta or watching old episodes of Guiding Light.
On a personal level, Cthulhu is quite friendly. Indeed, when not involved in devouring the entire living populace, he is quite approachable, and often drops by my house on weekends for a quiet game of checkers on the veranda. He refuses to comment on the time of his awakening, however, only making vague claims that "the stars have got to be right first." If you should meet him on the street, look quickly. . . if he isn't devouring anyone, then feel free to strike up a conversation. However, if one of his hundreds of tentacles is gripping a hapless victim, running and screaming would probably help you to live longer.
Methods of contact:
AIM SN: Eek a mouse 232