March 18, 1999: Day...[counting on fingers]...six of my insomnia escapade.

Well.
After having smashed my head against a wall with nigh-concussive force and spending the rest of the night staring at clocks and walls and listening to one bitch of a rainstorm, I've had plenty of time to think and churn out some thoughts.

MEN:

"Can't live with 'em.  But vibrators don't cuddle."
"I like my men like I like my coffee: strong, hairy, and four days old.....wait...that's not right....nevermind."

AIR:

"It's really hard to see, so you've got to watch you don't bang your head on it."
"It does a body good."
"It helps make bodies rot."
"A good spreading medium for biological warfare."

REPRODUCTION:

"Children should be abolished...we should embrace cloning...just think...no babysitters, no diapers, no Baby GAP*...."
"A great way to spend a rainy afternoon."
"A great way to spend a sunny afternoon."
"A great way to spend time."

PAIN:

"It's not conducive to a sense of well-being...I really suggest you avoid it."
"Blue pills for the voices, Red pills for the pain. Blue and Red make Purple. Purple equals sane."
    [thank you Jason!]
"A great thing to learn from...especially from an observational point of view."
"It makes you laugh, it makes you cry. It makes you take pills...and pills are good for you."

OATMEAL:

"For those mornings when you wake up and say to yourself: 'I would love a bowl of soggy, warm, tastless oat-mush to which I can add enough sugar to make a small animal's eyes explode and still not taste any difference'."
"Microwave on HIGH for thirty minutes. Remove from bowl. Repeat 9 000 times. Use for skeet-shooting, hockey pucks, or  weapons of torture."
"Pig-food in Russia."
 
 

* NOTE: The mention of Baby GAP does not imply a preference or repulsion on the part of the author.