"Yes! Yes!" A man yells at last
As a stone that was in him finally passed
"A pet! A pet!" He cried with glee
As it shot into a plastic baggie

"A house! A house! I'll give it to live
My God! My God! It feels good to give
A bed! A bed! I'll give it to sleep
And a toilet! A toilet! It may take a leak"

He gave it a bowl and he gave it a cup
And told it to feel free to take a dump
He hugged it and kissed it and put it to bed
Then woke the next morning to find it dead

"Dam*it! Dam*it! What have I done"
He'd been careless and killed his only son
"A funeral! A funeral! I'll give to it"
So he dug and dug and made a great pit

And finally when sadness was off of his head
He said his last words to it and went to bed
He awoke in the night to a scream and a hiss
To find that it had risen from the grave to take a piss