Tom Paris shivered beneath his cloak, but it wasn't from the cold. The memories of his time in Nshadowen visited him again in his dreams. Off and on, the nightmares haunted him. Each time they came, they were worse. He would tell himself that it was just dreams brought on by terrible memories, but when he was caught in the dreams, the logic never helped.
The dreams always started in his cell. He would wait for the guard to take him either work in the yard or spend the day in the muddy lake in the center of Nshadowen. The dreams always ended differently.
He made his way to the yard only to find it covered with dead decaying bodies. He stood there in shock. He wanted to run from the sight, but his legs would not obey.
"You should have joined them," a harsh voice said behind him, "but someone took pity on you. You don't deserve to live, Tom. You belong among the dead out there in the yard."
Paris spun around to face his tormentor only to see an empty hood. He backed away, but a wall stopped him from going any further. He stared at the robed figure as it drew a dagger. The figure stepped closer and drove the weapon into him.
Paris woke up screaming. His cry woke the rest of the group as well. He finally calmed down, but didn't open his eyes. He didn't want to see the concerned and shocked expressions on their faces.
Chakotay looked at Paris concerned. He knew the nightmares had started again. He had heard Paris whimpering last night. The onslaught always began with the whimpering.
"What the hell was that?" Torres asked, stunned.
"Nightmares," Chakotay answered, "They come and go every now and then. He's had them ever since he got out of Nshadowen. They get worse everytime. I'm beginning to believe they are going to drive him insane."
Torres looked at Paris, who had drifted off to sleep. She figured that maybe it wasn't a good idea to ask him how he ended up in Dhale. It was probably just as traumatic.
The next morning, Paris was quiet and withdrawn. Chakotay knew not to try and cheer him up. He knew Paris would get over it in a few days, and be back to his normal self.
Torres, though decided to try to help him. She rode up beside him, and cleared her throat, getting his attention.
"Talking about it might help," she said quietly.
Paris shook his head, "I've tried. It doesn't help. If anything, it only makes them worse."
Torres looked at him. He seemed pale and sickly. She never heard of nightmares doing that to anyone. They must be terrible indeed.
"I'm sorry, Tom," she said sadly.
Paris stared at her. He could see the sorrow in her eyes. He smiled weakly at her then adverted his eyes. He didn't want her to see the tears that formed in his eyes. He could still hear the dark figure's words echo in his mind. He was starting to believe them.
By midday, the group came upon Darkiston, a town a couple miles from Wyvern. They entered the town, and headed for an inn. The White Horse Inn was in the center of town. It was Tuvok's favorite when he traveled, for it was surrounded by trees providing peace and quiet. He led the way inside, and the innkeeper recognized him at once.
"Tuvok, welcome. Your usual room?"
Tuvok nodded, "I have brought some guests. Give them a room each. I'll pay for them."
"Of course," the innkeeper said, smiling.
Tuvok signed them inn as the keeper handed the group a key each. They then headed for their rooms.
Paris, though left the inn, and searched for a tavern. He had spotted on when they entered the town, so he back tracked his way to it.
The Black Snake was placed away from the rest of the buildings as if to hide it. Paris found it, though as he decided to take a trip from reality.
He entered the tavern, and was swept back to the days before he met Chakotay. He breathed in the dusky air and made his way to a table. He sat down and a mug of ale was brought to him a moment later. He took a drink and felt a wave of stress wash away from him. He took another and another until the mug was empty. He asked for another and it was brought to him.
~~
"Where the hell is Tom?" Chakotay demanded his companions.
The three were sitting at a table in the inn's dining room. They had been waiting for Paris to arrive for the past ten minutes.
Earlier, Chakotay had sent Torres upstairs to look for him, but she came back shaking her head. The ranger was getting frustrated and worried. He then suddenly remembered what happened the last time Paris had nightmares this bad.
"Did we pass a tavern when we came in?" He asked not hiding his concern from his voice.
Tuvok nodded, "The Black Snake. It is a gathering place for thieves and cut throats. If he is there, he's in danger."
"That's if he opens his big mouth. We have to get him out of there before he gets himself in trouble."
The three got up and left the inn. They followed Tuvok back the way they came. He then turned down a dark street where they came across the tavern. Chakotay felt a chill run up his spine.
They entered the tavern and almost at once, Chakotay saw Paris sitting alone at a table, drinking.
"Damn it," he whispered, "How many has he had?"
Tuvok went toward the table with Torres and Chakotay following. The wizard stood before the table and cleared his throat. He saw how drunk Paris was by the expression on his face and the look in his eyes.
"You are coming with us, Paris," Tuvok announced, "You've had enough."
Paris' laugh had no humor in it, "Since when did you care, Tuvok?"
"Your brother cares, Paris," Tuvok answered, "Though if I was him, I would start to question the choice in adopting you."
Paris glared at him, "You would say that, Tuvok. Why don't you leave then and take them with you. I'm sure they are more than enough help for you."
Chakotay felt his heart sink. It was bad enough to see Paris in the state he was, but to hear him say those words tore him apart.
"Tom, please. You should know by now that this doesn't help."
Paris glared at Chakotay, "Leave me alone."
Torres then decided to try something. She sat down in front of him. She got his attention and held his gaze with her own.
"I know these dreams are terrifying and must hurt you a great deal, but you are only helping them by drinking. If you want them to stop, face them. I'll help you."
Paris stared at her. He was surprised again, and he felt hismelf drawn to her. He realized that he was barely breathing, and he gasped to catch his breath. He looked at her again and nodded.
"I'll be damned," Chakotay whispered, surprised.
~~
The group returned to the inn. Tuvok and Chakotay went into the dining area while Torres helped Paris to his room. She unlocked the door, and led him to the bed. She helped him lie down then she touched his forehead to find it warm.
He looked at her, "I screwed up, didn't I?"
Torres stared into his blue eyes and saw fear and pain reflected in them. She stroked his hair and smiled.
"I wouldn't say that, Tom. You were just frightened by your dreams, so you tried to drown them."
Paris closed his eyes and sighed, "I just wish these dreams would stop. They get worse everytime."
Torres sat on the edge of the bed, "Tell me about them."
Paris opened his eyes and looked at her. He then adverted them to the right and stared out the window. He took a deep breath and began, "It begins the same where I'm in a cell. A guard comes and takes me either to the yard or the lake. It doesn't matter where, the terror always appears. Last night, a figure appeared..."
Paris stopped. He didn't want to continued. Torres could see that, but she pressed anyway.
"What happened?"
He looked at her. He could see that she wanted him to continue. He closed his eyes and spoke, "The figure taunted me. He said that I didn't deserve to live. That I should be rotting among the bodies in the yard. He then drew a dagger..."
Paris' eyes flew open, for he saw the faceless figure standing before him. He looked at Torres, who had an expression of shock on her face. He reached up and placed a hand on her cheek. He quickly withdrew it when he realized what he was doing.
"Get some sleep, Paris," she said, standing up, "There's still a half day before we get to Wyvern."
She turned then and left the room. She closed the door quietly behind her.
~~
B'Elanna Torres went into the dining hall, and went to the table occupied by Tuvok and Chakotay. She sat down and told them of Tom's condition.
"He'll be fine," she said, "He's asleep now, but I'm afraid that if he doesn't face what is in his dreams, he might never get rid of them. He just might go insane."
She looked at Chakotay as she said this. The ranger nodded and she decided to ask Chakotay about Dhale. She believe that what frightened Paris just might lie before he met Chakotay.
"Did he tell you how he ended up in Dhale?"
Chakotay looked at her in mid-bite, "No. He never did. I found him fighting off three bandits in an alley. I rescued him and took him home to heal him. I thought he always lived in Dhale."
Torres knew then that she would have to ask Paris himself. She just hoped it didn't make matters worse.
Her thoughts were interupted by Tuvok's voice, "We have to form a plan. Getting inside is no problem. It's getting to Janeway. Her room is guarded day and night. One thing the Randerians are good at is staying awake. They never sleep."
"Unless you have a sleep spell, we might have to try the direct approach," Chakotay mentioned.
Tuvok looked at the ranger, "The Randerians are immune to magic."
Chakotay nodded and sipped some wine, "What I know of them is that they are not too bright and scare easily."
Torres smiled, "So, we dress up as some monster to scare them."
Chakotay smiled as well, "Actually, I was thinking an old illusionists trick to confuse them. A bright flash of light should give us enough tome to render the guards unconscious, so we can get Lady Janeway out of her room."
Tuvok nodded at the idea, "I believe I have just the thing to acomplish this task."
Chakotay smiled, "Good. Then we leave tomorrow."
~~
Tom Paris woke to find it dark in his room. I must have slept the day away, he thought as he slid off the bed.
He found a candle on a dresser and lit it. He then left his room and went downstairs. He entered the dining area to find it empty save for a lone figure at a table. The light from the candle on the table reflected into the dark eyes, and Paris made his way to Torres.
"Can't sleep?" He asked.
Torres looked up and saw the light illuminate his eyes. Her breath stopped short and for a moment she couldn't breathe. She gasped and forced herself to look away. Paris became conerned.
"Are you alright?" He asked, sitting down beside her.
She looked at the table top and nodded, "I'm fine and no, I can't sleep. I never could sleep in an inn."
"You like the outdoors, don't you?"
Torres looked at him then and smiled, "Under the stars is the only way I want to sleep. If I can't see them..."
Paris smiled and put his hand over hers. She looked at his hand, and he quickly removed it. She stared at him to see a hurt expression on his face.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, staring at the table top.
"Don't be. I understand."
Paris looked at her, and he realized just how beautiful she was. He suddenly wanted to be with her, but he knew she didn't feel the same. At least, not yet.
Torres saw his eyes sparkle in the candle's flame. She decided now would be the time to ask him about Dhale. She took a deep breathe and spoke, "Have you always lived in Dhale?"
She watched his eyes darken, and she knew she had hit a nerve. She cursed herself bitterly.
"No," he answered, trying to keep his anger from his voice, "I grew up in Xelna."
"You left Xelna to travel the continent?" Torres asked.
Paris shook his head, "More like chased out of town. One too many trips to the tavern and too many fights. The mayor had enough of seeing me stand before him to be tried for drunkedness and for fighting. He finally just banished me from town."
Torres was silent for a moment. She then asked, "What caused you to visit the taverns?"
Paris sighed knowing that it wouldn't do any good to ignore the question. He stared into the candle's flame as he spoke, "I've never been on good terms with my father. My mother died when I was a child and it just got worse from there."
He continued before Torres could speak, "He wanted me to be a knight like his brother and father. I thought knights were stiff-necked snobs. I told him that, but he insisted anyway. He finally gave up on the whole idea when I punched out one of the squires."
"You decided to join the thugs in the taverns?" Torres asked, shocked.
Paris smiled, "My father and I always argued about my future. I would go to the taverns afterwards to calm down. After awhile, I'd go just to have something to do. It became almost a daily ritual. Even the fights were a constant. If I didn't get into a fight, I thought I was having a bad day. I was actually grateful when I was banished from Xelna."
Torres looked at the table top. She now knew what caused him to end up on the streets of Dhale. She had mixed emotions about it. She was glad that she knew, but she was angry at herself for forcing such memories to resurface. She hoped he wasn't angry at her for forcing him to remember.
She looked at him and saw that he was still staring at the flame. She put her left hand over his right, getting his attention. He looked at her and she smiled. He gave a weak smile in return. She figured that he was still trying to deal with the memories. She cursed herself again for tormenting him.
"Now, tell me about yourself," he said suddenly.
She stared at him, surprised. She had never talked about herself to anyone. It's only fair, B'Elanna, a voice whispered inside her.
She agreed and began spilling her soul out for Paris to see. He listened, and became even more fasinated by her.
The next morning, Chakotay found Paris and Torres sleeping at the table. He noticed that Paris' hand was over Torres'. He smiled, for he could already hear Tom say that he told him so. He always seems to make me eat my words, he thought humorously.
Chakotay cleared his throat loudly, and saw Torres stir. She groggily sat up and looked over at him. She then looked at Paris then shot a look back at the ranger.
He smiled and sat down across from her. He tapped Paris on the back of his head. Paris raised his head and stared at Chakotay.
"Morning, Tom. Your bed not good enough that you had to come down here to sleep?"
"Stuff it, Chakotay," Paris answered. He then looked over at Torres, and remembered last night.
"We fell asleep talking," Torres mentioned.
The ranger smiled, "Don't explain, B'Elanna. Yous aid you would help him and I'm grateful for that. I'd bet he is even more grateful."
"Slept like a baby," Paris said, yawning.
Tuvok joined them then, and Chakotay decided to tell Paris of their plans to get Janeway out of the castle.
