B'Elanna woke to find herself alone in bed. She sat up, and
looked around the bedroom. Tom was nowhere in sight. She quietly
called his name as she slipped out of bed. She heard mumbling
below her, and she cautiously looked down to see Tom lying on the
floor, asleep. She knelt beside him, and gently shook him awake.
"Tom, wake up," B'Elanna whispered.
Tom mumbled again, and opened his eyes. He rolled over onto his
back, and looked up to see B'Elanna.
"Why are you on the floor again, Tom?" She asked, concerned.
Tom looked at her strangely, "The Lady always said that the floor
was for me to sleep on. She only allowed me on her bed when we
were coupling."
B'Elanna's eyes flashed. She was angry, not only because that
p'taQ of a woman made Tom sleep on the floor, but also because he
had sex with her. B'Elanna snarled.
*Calm down, Torres,* she told herself, *Tom was pumped full of
that drug. He didn't know what he was doing. He probably barely
remembers.*
B'Elanna looked down at Tom, who was calmly staring at her. She
could forgive him for sleeping with Daylia. Besides, she had
more important things to do. That being helping him remember his
life on Voyager.
She gently smiled at him as she ran her hand through his hair, at
least he looked better this morning. She knew she had a lot of
work ahead of her, but she was going to attack it like she did
any problem she faced.
"Get dressed, Tom," B'Elanna said, "We're going for a walk."
Several minutes later, Tom and B'Elanna were walking down the
corridor. B'Elanna was pushing their twins along in the stroller.
He was still confused about them, even after she told him all
about them. He still couldn't remember anything about her or
their children. She was getting worried that he might never
remember, but she refused to give up.
Tom though kept looking around at his surroundings. Occasionally,
he would get flashes of something, but it was gone before he
could grasp it. Sometimes, he would hear voices, but could not
place them.
Last night, he had another troubling but wonderful dream. He
looked over at B'Elanna. She was in his dream, and they were
coupling. Then a shadow would take him away as she reached out to
him.
Tom would also get a sense of familiarity every time he was near
this woman. A couple times, he got an overwhelming feeling of
possessiveness. This confused him even more. How could he feel
this when he was the one that was a possession?
The family entered the Mess Hall, and Tom stopped in his tracks.
Another flash of something sparked before his eyes. A familiar
smell came to his nose afterwards. He scrunched up his brow,
shook his head, then followed B'Elanna to a table. He sat down
and watched the children as B'Elanna went to get their food.
The babies kept calling to him. He didn't know what to do. He
felt he should so something, but his training prevented him from
doing anything without being told first.
"You can hold one of them if you want, Tom," B'Elanna's voice
came to his ears.
Tom looked at her. She held a tray with two meals on it. She set
it one the table, picked Lucas up, then handed him to Tom. She
sat down, and watched Tom stare at his son. She hoped holding the
child would trigger something.
Tom stared into the boy's intense blue eyes. The pilot recognized
the eyes. He looked at B'Elanna, confused. "Lucas has your eyes,
Tom," the half-Klingon explained, "Kyle has your hair. They both
have your mischievous smile."
The last sentence cause a lump to rise in B'Elanna's throat. She
wished so much to see that smile again. When everyone thought he
was dead, she was sure she would never see his smile again,
except from their sons.
Tom looked at Kyle. He then ran a hand through his own blonde
hair. He shook his head, confused and frustrated.
"I don't know," he grounded out, "I don't remember any of this!"
B'Elanna reached out, placing a hand on his arm, "It's all right,
Tom. Take your time. It'll come back to you."
*Soon, I hope,* B'Elanna silently added.
After their meal, the family went Holodeck Two. B'Elanna decided
to show her husband the very program that brought them together.
She believed the forest program would trigger many memories. She
hoped it would work. She tapped in the commands, took a deep
breath, and walked through the doors, Tom followed.
When the doors closed, they were completely surrounded by a lush
green forest. A waterfall sounded in the distance. B'Elanna
looked at Tom, hoping to see a glimmer of recognition in his
eyes.
Tom stared at his surroundings in awe. The place was beautiful.
He breathed in the "fresh" air and smiled.
"It's wonderful. Where are we?"
B'Elanna offered a small smile. He clearly didn't remember.
"This is your holoprogram, Tom. The forest is from Canada."
Tom looked at her. He created this? Canada? He shook his head. He
hated not remembering. He ran hand furiously through his hair.
"Canada?" he forced himself to remember, "That's on Earth, isn't
it?"
B'Elanna nodded, glad he remembered something. It was a start.
"You programmed the waterfall a couple months later. You made
this especially for me, Tom."
Tom stared at her then at the forest. He must have loved this
woman very much to create something as lovely as this.
Suddenly, a flash of light penetrated his eyes. An angry voice
came to his ears. A woman's voice.
B'Elanna's voice. Then his voice. Tom shook his head as he saw
himself and B'Elanna standing by the waterfall. They were arguing
about her Klingon side. Then they were kissing. Then B'Elanna
hurriedly left. Then the images and voices were gone as if they
had never happened.
Tom blinked then he shook his head again. He ran a hand through
his hair again and closed his eyes. He remembered something.
That had to be it. He remembered something, but he didn't know
what. He gritted his teeth and growled.
"Tom?" B'Elanna asked, concerned.
Tom looked at her. Her brown eyes were full of worry. What could
he tell her? That he remembered something, but didn't know what
it was? He shook his head. He didn't want to give her any false
hopes.
"I'm just frustrated," he answered. He looked away, into the
forest. He tried to bring back the images, but nothing came. He
sighed and shook his head again.
B'Elanna's hopes fell. Clearly, he wasn't remembering anything.
*Those aliens must have done a number on him,* B'Elanna thought,
*That drug must have really erased his memories. I won't give up
on him, though. He will remember.*
"It'll come back to you, Tom," B'Elanna vowed, "You must believe
that. Don't give up, Tom."
Tom looked back at her. He could see that she was just as
frustrated as he was. He offered her a small smile and nodded. He
wanted to remember his life here. It must have been a whole lot
better than being on that planet answering to every whim of
Daylia. He was starting to believe more and more each day that he
had been used by The Lady. She never cared for him at all, only
herself and her meaningless pleasures. He held back a snarl, but
his blue eyes flashed with anger.
B'Elanna caught that flash and felt her heart leap for joy. He
was finally showing some emotion! She smiled at the small
victory.
"What's wrong, Tom?" She asked, trying to keep the joy from her
voice.
Tom shook his head, not looking at her, "I want to remember my
life here. Maybe I'm trying too hard. Maybe if I just go with the
flow something will come back to me unexpectedly."
He looked at her then. She appeared hurt, but she nodded her
head.
"I'm sorry that I'm not remembering anything," Tom apologized.
B'Elanna smiled slightly, "Don't worry about it, Tom. They pumped
you so full of drugs, it might take some time before you remember
anything about your life aboard Voyager."
Tom nodded. He then offered her a smile, "Why don't we take a
walk? I doubt you'd want to waste this wonderful program by
standing around."
B'Elanna smiled. That sounded just like Tom. She took his hand
and the family walked into the forest.
********
The small victory she had on the Holodeck was a small one indeed.
A few hours later, Tom was back to being apathetic and confused.
She wanted to take him back to the program and leave him in there
until he remembered everything, but that idea was quickly
discarded. She knew that what Tom needed was time -- time that
was quickly becoming non-existent. She was getting frustrated and
agitated with the lack of progress. She was beginning to wonder
if he would ever regain his memory.
The next morning, B'Elanna found Tom again lying on the floor
asleep. A wave of anger then sympathy came over her. She wanted
to kill Daylia for doing this to him. Her once robust,
full-of-life husband had been reduced to an insecure, solemn man
by the Lady. She wanted to kill the whole village for doing this
to him. She wanted to kill the people who took him away from her
and sold him to that p'taQ.
Looking down upon him she could see his eyes moving beneath the
lids and his head move first to one side and then the other.
*He's dreaming* B'Elanna thought as she crawled out of the bed.
B'Elanna knelt down beside him and noticed that his breathing was
becoming very rapid. She saw that it wasn't just a dream he was
experiencing, it was a nightmare. She gently shook him awake.
She soon regretted it when his eyes opened wide and he screamed.
"No! Stop! I'll do whatever you want, just stop!"
"Tom!" B'Elanna became alarmed. She gently shook his shoulders,
coaxing him to wake up. Finally, he slowly opened his eyes and
stared at her. She saw the fear and pain in those eyes, and she
took him in her arms to comfort him.
"It's all right, Tom," she whispered, "It was just a dream."
Tom froze. He never received such sympathy from the Lady. In
fact, Daylia never showed him much of anything, except
possessiveness. He didn't know what to do now that he was faced
with such compassion. He was confused.
B'Elanna felt him tense up. She knew he didn't know how to handle
this. She released him and stared into his eyes. He was truly
confused.
"Do you feel better now, Tom?" B'Elanna asked.
Tom nodded, "I thought I was back on that planet. I'm sorry if I
frightened you."
B'Elanna placed the palm of her hand against his cheek, "It's all
right, Tom."
Tom grabbed her hand and held it. They stared into each other's
eyes for several minutes. Finally, B'Elanna removed her hand from
Tom's grasp and stood up.
"Get dressed, Tom," she said, falling into a routine that they
had develop to help him adjust. She knew that she had to tell him
what to do, or else he would just sit there. She hated doing it,
but she hoped he would break away from this and do things for
himself. At least, she mused, she didn't have to help feed him.
The past couple of days, though, Tom was starting doing things
for himself. He took showers, which at first, he was in complete
awe of. Now, he loved them. On occasion, she would catch him
singing.
She smiled at this. It was another small sign that his memories
were resurfacing. Now, if the bigger more important memories
would show themselves.
*Just be happy of the small victories,* she told herself, *The
larger ones will come soon.*
B'Elanna decided to take Tom to Engineering. She knew it wouldn't
trigger anything big, but she hoped he would remember the little
things he did when he was down there. She knew he had helped her
on numerous occasions in Engineering. She hoped he would remember
one of them, at least.
They left the children with a babysitter, and left to go to Engineering. B'Elanna was a little nervous. This would be Tom's first appearance in Engineering since he had returned to this ship. She hoped he wouldn't be too much for him. B'Elanna had warned her staff in advance that Tom would be coming him down. She told them to act normal and not to overwhelm him.
The couple left the turbolift and headed down the corridor to her
realm. She hoped that they would soon venture to the Bridge. She
believed, really believed that maybe seeing the helm would
trigger his memories. He loved to fly, but somehow even that had
been erased. Or at least, buried by that godforsaken drug. She
continued to curse the Lady everyday, everyday that she came up
with a memory or feeling that Tom was missing. She truly wished
Tom had never gone down to that planet with them. He should have
remained on the ship, safe and away from those predators that
took him to be sold.
They entered Engineering and Tom stopped at once. He stared at
the warp core in complete awe.
His mouth was open and his eyes were wide. He looked at her. An
expression of, "What is that?" planted on his face.
"That is the Warp Core," B'Elanna explained, "It's the reason we
can go so fast. It moves us along in space. This is Engineering,"
she added with a wave of her hand, "It's where I work and keep
this ship going. I'll show you around."
B'Elanna showed him around Engineering. She kept on eye on him as
he stared in total awe and wonder at his surroundings. She shook
her head. It was almost like showing a primitive being around the
ship. If she didn't know better, she wouldn't have believed it.
She saw him looking at a console, and she could have sworn she
saw a flash of knowledge spark behind his blue eyes. She almost
thought he was going to punch in some commands, but he only
stared at it.
"Those are the navigational relays," B'Elanna told him, "You've
been down here many times to look at them. I don't know how many
times you've messed with them."
Tom looked at her, strangely, "What do you mean? I worked down
here?"
B'Elanna smiled, "No. You worked on the Bridge. You flew this
ship."
Tom's eyes widened at that, "I what!?"
B'Elanna almost laughed at his surprised expression. She sobered,
though as she remembered that he didn't know.
"Before you were taken, you were a pilot on this ship," B'Elanna
explained, "You were-are the best pilot we have. You used to make
sure no one forgot that."
Tom stared at the consoles before him. They looked familiar, but
he couldn't place them. He wished he knew. He wanted to know, but
a huge wall was blocking his memories from resurfacing.
He growled and slammed his fist on the console. "I can't take
this anymore!" Tom shouted, causing most of the staff to look his
way, "I can't remember anything, and it's driving me crazy!"
Tom stared at B'Elanna, his eyes a dark cloud. He then stormed
out of Engineering, leaving her distraught and frustrated.
That night, she returned to their quarters after several hours in
Engineering. B'Elanna had to explain to her staff about Tom's
outburst. They told her they understood and sympathized with her.
She was glad that they understood. She was having just as hard a
time as Tom was. He was trying so hard to remember, but nothing
came. She wondered if she was pushing him too hard to do so.
B'Elanna stripped off her uniform and went into the bedroom. She
was not surprised to see Tom lying on the floor. She sighed and
went to kneel beside him. She brushed a stray lock of hair off
his forehead. He stirred and rolled over on to his back. She
heard him mumble something, but didn't understand what he said.
Then she stood up and climbed into bed.
B'Elanna stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out a way to get
him to remember. She was almost at the end of her rope, but she
was determined not to give up. She had to get him to remember.
The little things were not enough anymore. She wanted him to
remember something important. Then it hit her.
*Tom has to remember the first time we made love,* she thought
to herself, *I know that must have been a very special time for
him, after all that's he been through.*
