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"| |eeeeeeeeeee$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$bc. ^%.| |$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$bc. | |$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$F| +-----------------------------------------+ Television Network P R E S E N T S ================================================================= {Seated on a bench in the lockerroom area is the Mississippi Kid. Bedecked in blue jeans and an electric blue silk shirt, with a lime-green butterfly collar and quarter-sized yellow buttons. He grins ... with every freckle and bright red hair on his uncombed head doing likewise. Apparently, Elton John had a yard sale of all his 70's regalia, because perched on the Kid's pug nose is a hideously gigantic pair of sunglasses composed of pearl frames and little gold-plated horns sticking out. Reclining back with his feet propped up on a styrofoam cooler, he jumps up to a sitting position and removes the "shades."} [Mississippi Kid] Helllllllo, AWI! How y'all are? Just kicking back, taking a little break from my training and wanted to let you people know that the Kid is doing juuuuussssst fine. I'm continuing to have loads of fun, and appreciate all the support me, my brother, and my sister have gotten from you, the fans. Coming from a little place in Mississippi to the big cities like Dallas, has been a little scary for a country boy like me ... but I think I've adjusted pretty durn well. Many thanks for making me feel right at home. Now {the Kid reclines back with his hands behind his head and visibly winces} *OUCH*. Hang on one second there, doc said I've got to keep a cold compress on back there. {He scoots forward and opens up the cooler, pulling out the AWI Light Heavyweight Championship belt and holds it to the back of his head.} Ahhh ... that's better. Now where was I? Oh yeah. 'Bulldog' Bryan Bachman, you are one heckuva wrestler. I gotta hand it you, you pushed me deep into my bag of tricks, and it'll be a pure pleasure to put the title on the line against you anyplace, anytime. Next time I hope to make a more graceful entrance ... I sure as heck ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I make up for it in the looks department, don'tcha think? {Kid strikes a vogue profile pose} That shot to the noggin must've rattled everything into the right place cause I sure was lucky to pull it out. Who'd have thunk it, after having that chair bounce off the old coconut ... which brings me to ... Jason Wrath ... heh heh heh ... who looks stupid now? {The irony of this statement is colossal when you consider the wardrobe and position of a scrawny, redheaded boy holding a gold belt to the back of his head. Suddenly, MK leaps to the top of the bench and begins to shout, ripping open his shirt to expose his bared chest and sending the buttons in a fountain to the floor like coins in some Latin American parade.} [MK] Look here, HardWHINER all we have heard is you wanting Bachman for this belt. Well, crybaby, *I'VE* got it now, bucko. You think insulting me and the great state of Mississippi will get you what you've been crying for? You think whacking me from behind with a chair will get you what you've been crying for? {The Kid is huffing and puffing throwing rights and lefts, jumping up and down.} There's a little thing called Union coming up HardWHINER, and all your antics have gotten you a one-way ticket there, pal. You want me, Wrath? YOU WANT ME?!?!? That's right, you're gonna get exactly what you want, you're going to be at Union ... {The Kid instantly calms down and flashes his Howdy Doody smile} ... watching from the back. Because, as long as I hold this belt, you will NEVER EVER EVER get this title. *I* took the best you got, pal, and it still wasn't enough to take me out. So until you prove you got what it takes, you are at the bottom of the ladder ... go whine somewhere else. There are a whole lot better men than you out there, guys like Bachman, Danny Boy McGill, Kerry Masters, Chris Sim, even that El Nacho Bellgrande guy with the flowers. Nice threads, by the way. So everybody take one giant step forward courtesy of little Jason Wrath, and say 'Thanks Jason, for screwing up.' And, Jason buddy, if you want to talk trash about Mississippi, I know a few people who would LOOOOOOOVE to lend you an ear. So if you can spare the whining time, sign the line." ================================================================= {Fade in on scenes of technicians working on various elements of a NASA-style rocket platform, doing diagnostics and stuff ... a pair of serious-faced men carry a gleaming metal canister up the gantry elevator, stepping off to approach the rocket's "warhead"; they pause to open the top of the canister, and a bright glow can be seen within, flashing out to 'blind' the camera ... the glow fades into several quick scenes of AWI action featuring Steve the Insane, Ken Mischief, Danny Boy McGill, the Fallen Angel, the Crystal Crow, and Justice ... the scene brightens into white again, then fades back into the gantry as the canister is closed, then slotted into a port on the warhead. The men give a thumbs up sign to the technicians, and walk away. Moments later, we see the rocket during takeoff, speeding through the atmosphere; as it disappears from sight, there's a flash of light like a sci-fi explosion, and a logo appears: ================================================================= Allied Wrestling International Presents: **** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** I S S I O N ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ***************** ***************** ** ** ** O N T R O L ** ** ****************** ****************** ================================================================= {Cut to the AWI Virtual Studio, where Johnny Rocket, Stan Jurgens and Kyle Esprit are seated.} [Rocket] Hello, and welcome to another edition of Mission Control. We are one week from International Incident, at the Molson Centre, in Montreal, Quebec, where we will at last determine who is the AWI World Champion. As to who that person will be ... [Esprit] If it's anybody but Ken Mischief, we've had a travesty of justice! At Spring Stampede, he beat practically every other person in the league already! Crowning him is a mere formality! [Jurgens] Fine. YOU tell that to Greg Gardner. Or Tank Bradley. Or D.A. Bookthrower. Or Steve the Insane. Or ... [Esprit] Hey, I wouldn't tell my own grandmother that. I'd hate to hurt people's feelings. [Rocket] I'll believe THAT when I see it ... anyway, as I was saying ... {The scene behind Rocket morphs to a still of the incident involving Gardner, Mischief, Bookthrower and McGill last Explosion} [Rocket] There are 4 men who believe they have legitimate claims outstanding on the title, which put AWI Commissioner Jamahn Chamberlain's apparent plans for a tourney in jeopardy. Last night, at a press conference held at the AWI Southern Region Media Complex in Dallas, Texas, we had this announcement from AWI Competition Committee Chairman Roswell Gates ... ================================================================= {Cut to a room filled with reporters and cameramen, and then onto a sharply dressed middle-aged man who is introduced as Roswell Gates, chairman of the Allied Wrestling International Competition Committee.} [Gates] Ladies and gentlemen ... first, I'd like to thank you for coming here on short notice--I'll try to make this brief. As you know, on a recent AWI television broadcast, 4 AWI wrestlers, high-caliber competitors all, each made a case for at least a single-opponent match for the World Heavyweight title, currently vacant. As each man had persuasive arguments of varying degrees, we called a special session of the AWI Competition Committee. Not only would we have to address the four men with grievances, and concretely settle the World Heavyweight title situation, there was the matter of dealing fairly with those who would be deprived of a direct route to the title if we chose not to hold a tourney. The problem forced us to renegotiate the International Incident pay-per-view, moving it back one week. In the interim, I did some checking with our attorneys. If you would recall, there was a previous match sanctioned by the AWI and signed by all parties that would have pitted Greg Gardner against the winner of a match between Ken Mischief and John Robertson. That contract is still legal and binding. Since the AWI currently *has* no champion to fulfill the first portion of that contract with Ken Mischief, that portion can be considered a forfeit. Furthermore, there are discrepancies in the apparent dismissal of Gardner some months ago, and those discrepancies have been resolved retroactively to both parties' satisfaction. Therefore, the main event at International Incident will be Ken Mischief versus "War Machine" Greg Gardner, for the World Heavyweight Title. [Reporter 1]: Sir, what about the other two, Danny Boy McGill and D.A. Bookthrower? [Gates] While McGill and Bookthrower are former Champions, and as such /always/ demand some level of consideration for title matches, that fact alone does not make an inarguable case for being given the title. Their situation, however, can be resolved at International Incident as well. Since both men have unresolved issues with one another, we have proffered a contract for a match between McGill and Bookthrower for International Incident, with the winner receiving future title considerations to be specified very soon. [Reporter 2]: Mr. Gates ... before the Explosion situation, a tournament was going to be held-- [Gates] That was never an official statement of these offices. [Reporter] --/allegedly/ to be held, to determine the champ. While the seven men who were rumored to be in the tournament were never officially revealed, our sources had given us the names of the people that were to be in it, and also tell us that those people were informed in advance, so that they didn't schedule other matches for that night. [Gates] {curtly} I'm sorry, sir, your sources are incorrect. [Reporter 2]: Mr. Gates, we both know there was going to be a tournament, and that certain wrestlers were notified. You have several legitimate contendors out there deserving of a shot, but instead you are giving them to two men, Gardner and Bookthrower, who just came back to the AWI after an extended leave? Why are they IMMEDIATELY deserving of a shot, and not these others that were promised one? [Gates] {Obviously irritated} First, as I've just explained, D.A. Bookthrower will NOT be getting a title shot until after International Incident, if at all. As for the other two men's "deserving" of a title shot ... seeing as our hands are tied with the extant contract I just mentioned, we aren't in a position to hold a title tourney, regardless of what these "sources" may have told you. As far as the rest ... I'm sure that any other wrestlers who may have been promised anything regarding the title situation will be taken care of after International Incident. Thank you, and good night! {The reporters crowd around the podium, attempting to get clarifications, but the camera cuts back as Gates leaves) ================================================================= [Rocket] Interesting announcement by Roswell Gates. What exactly does "Title Considerations" mean? You seem to be the expert on double talk, Kyle ... what is he saying? [Esprit] He's saying D.A. Bookthrower is being ROBBED! This has conspiracy written all over it in 24 point bold neon! If Mischief wins and McGill somehow squeaks by Bookthrower, HE'LL get the next shot. But if Bookthrower stomps McGill into Irish cream, what do you think his "future considerations" will amount to? I'll give you a hint -- there's tons of it on Stan's ranch! [Jurgens] Mortgages? Don't reckon I follow ... [Esprit] You KNOW that's not what I meant. [Jurgens] Yeah, but I can /say/ "mortgages" on network TV. [Rocket] There are plenty of dissension with the fans of the AWI right now ... we took a camera out to the America West Arena before the Mission Control show there, and we had these comments from some of the fans... ================================================================= {Cut to outside the America West Arena, in Phoenix, Arizona, in what is a beautiful afternoon and to a group of fans around the cameraman, and Chad Duncan} [Teenage Boy 1] GO WAR MACHINE!!!! [Teenage Boy 2] Who does Gardner think he is, coming back after being gone for who knows how long, and taking the shot that belongs to Robbie Stevens? {All of the others groan and boo} [Teenage Boy 2] I think Robbie should Wicked Awesome 'em all. [Woman] That reporter guy has a point, though. Give the shot to the people that was gonna be in the tournament. [Man] Doesn't matter as long as there's a champion. Greg's paid his due, now give him the chance to get the gold. [Teenage Boy 2] Wicked Awesome them all! [Teenage Boy 1] The War Machine is the coolest guy in the world! Let him and Danny Boy go at it at Union! {Many of the others cheer at that statement.} [Man wearing Danny Boy t-shirt] Everyone can say what they want, but none of us know who was supposed to be in the tourney anyway. Could've been people that we don't want to see anywhere near a World Title, like Robbie Stevens or Jeremiah James. If it was folks like Chris Sim and Bryan Bachman, then give 'em the chance. ================================================================= [Rocket] With International Incident only a little over a week away, what do you think will happen, gentlemen? [Esprit] Unfortunately, what WON'T happen is Jamahn doing an impersonation of his pop. POW! Head to the floor! That's what this league needs again. Some we're-not-gonna-take-this attitude. That's what D.A.'s gonna bring back to the AWI. [Jurgens] I think he was talking about our main event, Kyle. [Esprit] You don't think that'd be a better main event than watching the league try to engineer a coronation for the Bore Machine? [Rocket] Well, for what it's worth, not enough people are giving Ken Mischief enough credit. Sure, I would rather see Greg Gardner be the champion, but you can't underestimate Mischief. [Jurgens] Actually, Johnny, I'll be the first to agree with you there. Havin' tussled in a few stampedes, we know ... {looks at his partners} OK, /I/ know how tough a man it takes to win one. And they don't come tougher than Ken Mischief. Meanwhile, Gardner has to face the number one problem of his career: this constant back- and-forth between U.S. and Japan. Everytime he heads for Budokan Hall, it takes him awhile to remember the American style when he gets back ... and playing strategy Husker-Du is the last thing he needs to be doing facing Mischief. [Rocket] Well, that's a week away. We have a great show for you /tonight/. Maddie Freechild makes her return to the ring, taking on Sarah Victory; Kitty Taylor fights AWI Women's champion Fallen Angel in a non-title match; Riverboat fights the very contriversial Jason Wrath; Carlos Mendoza tries to get back on the winning track taking on Maurice Jackson; we'll find out who the opponent of the Chaos Brothers will be at International Incident, as the Toxic Twins fight Agony and Ecstasy, the winner going for the North American Tag Titles in Canada; and Robbie Stevens ... {Rocket groan audibly} ... "defends" his TV Title against "Quick Kid" Cassidy ... how long is the AWI going to let Stevens make a mockery of the TV belts? [Esprit] Mockery? Robbie's just being a REAL champion, Rocket! The PEOPLE'S champion! Did you ever see Steve the Insane, or "Superman" Mike Piersall, or Jimmy Springheel giving dogged competitors like a Cassidy a shot! Heck no! How's the kid supposed to prove he's got what it takes if nobody will wrestle him! But here's Robbie, not afraid of ANY challenge, ready to give the Quick Kid his shot. {sniff} It's downright touching. [Rocket] If defending against opponents he KNOWS don't stand a chance against him isn't a mockery, I don't know what is ... No, no examples needed, Esprit. [Esprit] But I've got so MANY, Johnny my man ... like me having to park my Maserati next to that box with wheels of yours. [Rocket] We'll be right back after these messages... ================================================================= {Cut to a road where a runner carrying a torch heads towards the camera. The Olympic Fanfare can be heard in the background.} [Voice over]: Every two years, the world's greatest athletes gather together to see who is the best in their respective sport ... {The runner runs up to pass the torch to the next runner, who turns out to be Robbie Stevens. Robbie gets the torch and starts running ... and then takes a sharp turn off the course. Another runner runs into the camera shot and looks like he was bound and gagged.} [Runner] Hey! Stop that guy! He knocked me out! {Show footage of Robbie running away from the runners, hopping into a car and it peeling out ... clips start to play.} [Voice]: But every week ... {Background of a Canadian Flag with the images of Chris Sim, Jerry Straite and Ken Mischief} Athletes from around the world ... {Background of Japanese flag with the images of the Dream Succubus and Tiger Z] Compete to see ... {Split screen with the image of Yappian flag with Steve the Insane, the Irish flag with Susan O'Malley and Danny Boy McGill, the Spanish flag with Carlos Mendoza and the Swedish flag with Tori Johannsen.} Who is ... {Split screen with the image of the Mexican flag with El Hombre Octubre, the image of the British flag with Jimmy Springheel, Dr. Hyde and Dacia Blackthorne, and the Estonian flag with Mikhail Tzskova.} the elite ... {Split screen with the image of the Texan flag with Stan Jurgens, show the image of a flag with a "?" for Parts Unknown with the Oracle and Tomorrow Man in front of it.} In the sport of professional wrestling ... {Show the American flag with lots of small clips of Justice, Bryan Bachman, Kerry Masters, Tank Bradley, Fallen Angel, Mississippi Kid and many others.} {Shot cuts to the parking lot of a building where the car stops and Robbie Stevens runs out and lights something. The camera pans up to show "AWI", lit up in flames.} [Voice Over]: AWI -- catch the spirit. ================================================================= {Cut to the ring, and a crowded arena, with Alan Kinsman standing in the center.} [Kinsman] Our first match of Mission Control is a one fall match, with a 15 minute time limit. Introducing first ... making her return to the AWI ... She stands 6'1" and 165 pounds ... MADELINE FREECHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!! {"Big Bad Lady" by The Lady of Rage plays, and the crowd cheers as a MUCH smaller-looking Freechild greets the fans, and steps in the ring.} [Kinsman] And her opponent ... she stand 5'8" and 141 pounds, and hails from Hollywood, California ... she is the number one contender for the AWI Women's Championship ... SARAH VICTORY!!!! {A big boo ensues as Victory strolls slowly to the ring. She brushes off the boos casually as she steps in the ring ... and right back out as the bell rings.} [Rocket]: Victory getting out of the ring right off the bat. She seems awfully nonchalant about this match. Freechild can't be taken lightly. [Esprit]: No, I'd say she's DEFINITELY /heavy/ duty. [Jurgens]: Actually, not nearly as much as before ... if you ask me, it looks like Madeline's dropped a few spices out of her Cajun cookbook -- like the ones that show up in random tests. [Rocket]: You know exactly what I meant. Victory still out of the ring as Clay Evans counts ... he's on 4 right now, and Victory seems to be telling Evans she wants Freechild out of the way so she can get back in the ring ... {Freechild backs off, and Victory steps in.} [Rocket]: Now we have a match. [Jurgens]: Please don't make any "mixed match" jokes, Kyle ... Robbie's on the show later tonight, and my head can only take so much. [Esprit]: Hey, /I/ wouldn't THINK of accusing her of being a man. It's flatly impossible. [Rocket]: That's surprisingly ... tasteful, Kyle. I'm impressed. [Esprit]: I don't think she's human. [Rocket]: I take it back ... {Freechild closes in, but Victory kicks high in the air to force her to back off; they repeat this dance once more, then a sudden step drop toehold by Victory drops Freechild to her stomach. Sarah follows this with a chop to the back of the head, then allows Maddie to stand.} [Rocket]: That's just typical confidence from Victory. She acts like Freechild has no chance to win. [Esprit]: Victory's a smart girl. I can't believe she's down and out over Stevens -- I mean, he's a great kid and all, but she's got it ALL. She just needs to keep kickin' tail in this division, and hold out for a man who's got everything. [Rocket]: Why does that sound suspicioualy like "the man with everything and more from the California shore," which I seem to remember being tortured with regularly? [Esprit]: Hey, I'm just making with the analysis here, Johnny ... although now that you mention it, what a startling coincidence! [Jurgens]: The day somethin' you do is coincidental, I'm going on tour with a rap group. {Maddie gets back on her feet, and the two lock up collar and elbow; Freechild forces Sarah down, and twists into a half nelson. Victory gets out, and rolls out of the ring again.} [Rocket]: Sarah bailing out again -- what is Victory think she's accomplishing here? [Esprit]: Showing Madeline just who's in control of the match, that's what. [Jurgens]: That'd be the ref, considering she's countin' along with him. {Sarah gets back in the ring on a count of 5, and is IMMEDIATELY clotheslined by Freechild, who picks her up using another half nelson hold, then leverages it into a suplex.} [Rocket]: Half Nelson Suplex by Freechild! That shows some power by Freechild! Victory trying to roll out of the ring, but is stopped by Madeline Freechild, and brought back to her feet by the hair ... a BLATANT eyerake by Victory, and a leg sweep knocks Freechild down. [Jurgens]: I think we're going to see Freechild gettin' tougher as this goes on. She seems to still be gettin' used to the "Healthy Choice" version of herself, but the more confidence she gains in her muscles and skills again, the harder she's going to be to beat. {Victory drops a fist into Freechild, who gets to her feet only to be knocked down again by a nice karate kick to the chest. Victory brings her to her feet again, and whips her to the ropes; Freechild ducks a dropkick on the return, then picks up Sarah and delivers a backbreaker drop.} [Jurgens]: Tip to potential Freechild boyfriends: wipe the words "Boy, does my back ache" out of your vocabulary. You AREN'T gettin' a massage. {Freechild locks on a wakigatme armbar, but Victory uses another eye rake to break it. Sarah drags Freechild up with her as she stands, and whips her to the ropes, then knocks her down with a roundhouse kick.} [Rocket]: PICTURE perfect roundhouse kick from Sarah! She goes for the pin-- no count! [Jurgens]: Too bad for her the cover wasn't picture perfect. [Rocket] {Victory puts a clawlock on Freechild, but Madeline breaks it quickly; Madeline keeps a hold of Victory's arm as she stands back up, and uses it to deliver a shortarm clothesline, then drags her up again for a belly-to-belly suplex.} [Jurgens]: There's that confidence ... Sarah's quickly learning that a smaller Freechild is still a Freechild stronger than some men ... {Freechild locks Victory into a Boston crab.} [Rocket]: Boston Crab on now, right in the center of the ring!!! Victory screaming, and trying to reach the ropes, but Freechild is too strong, and she's stuck!!! [Esprit]: Talk about dirty tactics! It's a wrestler's RIGHT to be within the rope's reach during a hold! The ref should break this up! [Jurgens]: I gotta know ... did that argument EVER work as a manager? [Esprit]: No ... but it did get some very talented wrestlers in the ring during the ref's counterpoints ... [Rocket]: How long is Victory going to be able to stand this? Victory is smack dab in the center of the ring, and it's REALLY taking its toll on her ... [Jurgens]: And remember -- pain DOESN'T take American Express. [Rocket]: She may be out ... {The referee raises an arm ... once ... and Victory keeps the arm up the second time. She's stopped screaming, but it's very obvious that she's just about out of fight.} [Rocket]: You have to give Victory credit ... most lesser women would have given up by now. [Esprit]: Most lesser women don't get to win matches ... or get shots at the AWI Women's Title ... or take rides in baby-blue Maseratis ... [Rocket]: Victory ... FINALLY reaches the ropes! Freechild breaks the hold, but Victory is just lying there. Her back has GOT to be hurting ... Madeline is not giving her a moment's rest, though, as she brings her to her feet again ... OH MY!!! POWERBOMB!!! [Jurgens]: Fork. Stick. Done. [Rocket]: 1 ... 2 ... AND a Kickout by Sarah Victory! [Jurgens]: ... is what I WOULD be saying, if Freechild had put this one away. [Rocket]: The crowd cheers Freechild, and ... Victory very smartly rolling right out of the ring. [Esprit]: I TOLD you she was smart. Why won't you listen to me? How many champions have YOU managed? [Rocket]: And ... Victory is leaving! She's waving off Freechild and heading to the back ... what ... I guess she thinks the match isn't worth ending. No matter what, Victory's still getting the title shot at International Incident, so ... wait ... >>RINGSIDE<< {She's stopped, and now is headed back to the ring. She drops her jacket back on the floor and jumps on the apron; Freechild rushes up to meet her, only to get nailed in the head with an object.} [Rocket]: VICTORY HITS HER WITH A SET OF NUNCHUCKS!!! THAT'S why she did this ... the nunchucks must have been in her jacket!!! The ref's calling for the bell ... that was a sharp shot to the head! [Esprit]: No, that was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. [Jurgens]: That's because "no more alimony" hasn't crossed your path yet. [Rocket]: Freechild up quickly ... she seems relatively fresh ... [Kinsman] The winner, as a result of a disqualification ... MADELINE FREECHILD!!!! [Rocket]: Victory headed now finally to the back, and Freechild with the win, but a tainted one. [Esprit]: Big deal ... Freechild's impulsive. When Victory NEEDS to beat her, she'll be able to talk Madeline into a match. [Rocket]: We'll be back right after this... ***************************************************************** ***************************************************************** ****........***........***........***........***..***........**** ****........***........***........***........***..***........**** ****..*********........***..****..***........***..***..********** ****..***********....*****..****..*****....*****..***..********** ****........*****....*****..****..*****....*****..***..********** ****........*****....*****........*****....*****..***..********** **********..*****....*****........*****....*****..***..********** **********..*****....*****..****..*****....*****..***..********** ****........*****....*****..****..*****....*****..***........**** ****........*****....*****..****..*****....*****..***........**** ***************************************************************** ***************************************************************** {Scene: a parking lot at night. Steve the Insane is sitting on the hood of his car, occasionally sipping from a can of Pepsi. The rest of the lot appears to be deserted.} [Steve] Obsession can be a funny thing. The soon-to-be-late Jade Tiger seems to be obsessed with Angela Dante ... that's why he's soon to be deceased. Now it seems that I'm obsessed with the complete and total annihilation of Jade Tiger -- I know, there's a shock, me over the edge. Talking to some folks, though, people don't seem to understand exactly why I'm this far over the edge. If you listen to ring announcements during my matches, I'm introduced as being from the "Yappian Institute for the Reality Impaired". That's where I grew up. As you can probably guess from the name of the place, it's a home where they try to treat and help those that look at life a little differently. Now, it's better than a lot of similar places, don't get me wrong -- no Nurse Ratchett or anything like that -- but it's still, basically, a group home. No real family or anything ... a group home. It seemed to help me -- they made me the stable individual I am today -- but let's just say I don't miss the place. I come to the U.S., and end up in the pro wrestling game. Who do I end up teaming with? Lord Imperious -- there was a healthy relationship. {sighs} We had some laughs, but let's face it, I was just kept around to save him when his mouth got him into trouble. I may not be the smartest guy, but that much I know. Hey, no problem ... I'm a big boy, I take responsibility for my own actions. Now, to move this along -- the past few months in the AWI have been like the happiest of my life. Why? Simple -- Angela Dante. She's probably the first person to really, really care about me. As you may have guessed, it's kinda mutual. Now, thanks to the soon-to-be-begging-for-mercy Tiger, she's in the hospital. I know, I know, Dream Succubus were the ones who physically put her there, but Tiger's been gunning for her for a long time, and this was obviously his handiwork. Obsession's a dangerous thing, Tiger. Your obsession tried to take away the first person to truly care for me ... now you have to deal with my obsession. ================================================================= {"The Final Countdown" by Europe plays an encore, as we sweep in over the Mission Control studio one more time, to return to Johnny, Kyle, and Stan.} [Johnny] And some words by Steve the Insane open up our second hour of action on this week's Mission Control. [Kyle] How can they let him get away with that? You just can't go around threatening to kill people like that! It's illegal! [Stan] And puttin' a price on Steve's head is different? [Kyle] Sure it is! For one thing, there's money involved. [Johnny] I'm sure that makes everything all right ... according to my producers, those viewers not on the West Coast were experiencing technical difficulties during the first hour. Don't worry, fans -- if you missed the first part of Mission Control, including a very odd confrontation between Jason Wrath and Riverboat, and an exciting non-title match involving Women's Champion the Fallen Angel versus 'Cool' Kitty Taylor, you can catch it again on a special rebroadcast just before AWI Explosion, on Tuesday, 8 Eastern. [Kyle] And even if you've already seen it, see it again -- it just means more of me! [Johnny] In the interests of getting LESS of Kyle, let's go to our next match, pitting 'El Scorpion' Carlos Mendoza against the Master of the Northern Lights Suplex, Maurice Jackson ... ================================================================= {The middle virtual panel expands to fill the screen with action in the ring.} : America West Arena -- Phoenix, AZ {Mendoza starts the match out with a spinning wristlock, and follows with a savate kick, but Maurice ducks; Mendoza turns, snap mares Jackson to the mat, and throws on a reverse chinlock.} [Kyle]: And less than a minute into the match, El Scrapheap admits he's overmatched and out of tricks, with the last refuge of the preliminary-bound. {Maurice breaks out, and Mendoza downs him with an armdrag; Jackson returns to his feet, but El Scorpion takes him back to the mat with a dropkick. Mendoza pulls him back up and whips him to the ropes, but Jackson counters with an armdrag of his own, and locks on an armbar.} [Jurgens]: Jackson is doin' this all wrong. A creampuff like Mendoza can take a hold like that all day. He's either going to have to get more clever, or more brutal. {Carlos breaks, but Jackson headbutts him. The two get to their feet, and Jackson kicks him, then sends him to the ropes, and drops him on the rebound with a dropkick.} [Esprit]: The man's got focus ... now, if that were Kerry Masters in the ring, he'd have to stop and pose for about an hour or so after every move, and even Mendoza would eat him alive. [Jurgens]: Somehow I doubt that ... when Mendoza loses, he probably thinks it's because he wasn't color-coordinated enough. [Rocket]: Another hard headbutt from Jackson-- [Jurgens]: Which I'm sure he'll try to tell us is a "northern lights" headbutt-- {He grabs Carlos around the head, attempting a DDT, but Carlos blocks him with a knee to the gut; Maurice turns to the side, and lifts Carlos up with a fireman's carry, then shrugs him off his shoulders to land ribs-first on his knee.} [Rocket]: Elegant rib-breaker from Maurice Jackson, and a quick recovery! [Esprit]: You see! He's got technical skills, ring savvy, poise under pressure, and he hates Kerry Masters! What more can I say? [Jurgens]: I'm sure you'll think of something. {Jackson whips Mendoza into the corner, and follows him in with a rushing avalanche! Mendoza stumbles out of the turnbuckle, right into a DDT.} [Esprit]: El Scrimmage should just head for the bench now ... if he's lucky, Jackson will leave enough of him to do cologne commercials! [Rocket]: "El Scorpion" has more in him than I think you give him credit for, Kyle ... Jackson with a dropkick to the Spaniard ... he picks him up -- surprise small package by Mendoza! 1 ... 2 ... Jackson out, avoiding the near disaster! [Esprit]: No disaster at all -- merely a quick breather to get El Scarface's hopes up ... and look! ANOTHER reverse chinlock! I'm telling you, Carlos the Clown is only up and around by the grace of Jackson! [Jurgens]: I think the small package had a bit to do with it, too. {Jackson breaks out, and he catches Mendoza with an armdrag takedown as the pair rise, then slaps on another armbar. Mendoza escapes, and both men get to their feet, but Jackson drops Carlos with a quick legsweep before either of them stand. Mendoza elbows him to prevent Jackson from taking advantage, and then gets up, tossing Jackson into the ropes; Maurice cuts him down with a clothesline on the return.} [Esprit]: Carlos Mendoza is CLEARLY outmatched ... I'm tellin' you, we're seeing a future champion in the making here. The only things standing between Maurice Jackson and title gold is a manager's contract and a pen! [Rocket]: Jackson pulls Mendoza to his feet -- ANOTHER small package! 1 ... 2 ... and again Jackson just barely squirms out! [Jurgens]: I think I'd table that celebration until Carlos actually loses, Kyle. [Esprit]: I would, but then I wouldn't have the chance to be fashionably late. [Rocket]: Jackson kicks Mendoza as the two men rise -- and a BIG belly-to-back suplex! He's on El Scorpion like a hound to a rabbit, and catches him quickly with a belly-to-belly! [Esprit]: Jackson is dominating Mendoza so badly, his AWI Megastars action figures in the stores are hiding behind Nature-Loving Ken for protection. {Jackson rushes into the ropes, and floors Carlos with a clothesline. He attempts an armbar, but Mendoza twists around to put Maurice in a hammerlock. Jackson powers to his feet, and tosses Carlos into the turnbuckle; Carlos bounces out to nail Maurice with a bulldog lariat.} [Rocket]: El Scorpion stings him hard with a big counter! [Jurgens]: You know, every time I see something like that from this kid, I keep thinking to myself, just a little less time smilin' for the camera and a little more /really/ workin' out, and he could be something. I mean, really, how hard does he expect his kinfolk to push him? Santonio hasn't wrestled any of these guys -- how's HE supposed to know what Mendoza has to do to succeed? [Esprit]: I'll tell you what Mendoza needs to succeed ... legal permission to have the Spanish Army follow him into the ring! He's a washout! You know, word around the locker-rooms is, Chris Sim dumped him as a tag-team partner because he was tired of carrying the load! [Rocket]: Now that's about the most twisted-around story I've EVER heard, Kyle -- since when were YOU around the locker-rooms, anyway? {Carlos follows things up with a neckbreaker; Maurice wobbly to his feet, and falls victim to a DDT. Mendoza drags Maurice to his feet, and applies a spinning wristlock; he steps inside, and shifts to a Russian legsweep.} [Jurgens]: If that's overmatched, Kyle, I need a new dictionary. I've seen trampled rodeo clowns with more fight left in them than Mo-Reese. [Rocket]: Mendoza slows down the pace a bit with a reverse chinlock again ... [Jurgens]: Big mistake -- Jackson's lost right now. He should keep up the momentum until one of them's out of fumes. {Jackson breaks out, and both men rush to the ropes; Mendoza leapfrogs Jackson when they cross, but Jackson hits him with a clothesline on the return. [Rocket]: Maurice with another big clothesline shifts the momentum again! [Esprit]: That's because a fan held up a mirror, and Carlos had to stop and get a good look! [Rocket]: This could get old ... {Jackson scoops him into another fireman's carry rib-breaker, then pulls him to his feet for a diamond cutter! He picks up Mendoza again, setting up for a Russian legsweep -- but Mendoza spins around him, and gives him a Russian legsweep of his own.} [Esprit]: There's the need for polish that the right manager could take care of ... I'm /definitely/ going to have to talk with Jackson after he finishes squishing the scorpion. [Jurgens]: Why don't you just look in a mirror and say "no" a few times, then toss yourself out of the room? It'd save a lot of time and energy. [Esprit]: What? I can't say 'no' to me! Who am I to argue with genius? [Rocket]: Mendoza seems to think this is it ... he whips Jackson into the ropes, catches him off the rebound to cinch the "Heart-to-Heart" -- no, Jackson spins it around -- and he's reversed it into a Northern Lights! 1 ... 2 ... 3!!! And Maurice Jackson is your winner! Where did THAT come from? [Esprit]: From the mind of a superior wrestler, that's where! [Jurgens]: Don't look at me, I was just sitting here. [Rocket]: Fans, we'll be back in a moment ... ================================================================= COMMERCIAL BREAK ================================================================= {"Nothing But A Good Time" by Poison comes over PA as Robbie Stevens and Corey Bonham head out to the ring where "Quick Kid" Cassidy is already waiting; Robbie grabs a microphone.} [Robbie] You know, I said I was going to punish AWI for treating me badly, but I figure there's no reason why I can't come out here and give my side of the story ... First, let's address a few things concerning Corey and myself. Number one, Corey is NOT using a loaded boot. [Corey] Like, that's a totally bogus accusation dude. I mean, like I have a bad ankle and all. Like, when I was a teenager, I was doing some mondo tubular moves on the half pipe you know, and like one day, I like totally blew a move and like, I totally screwed up my ankle. [Robbie] That's right. So, he might have a medically prescribed brace and an much needed odor eater in that boot ... but it's a perfectly legal piece of wrestling equipment. I wish Hugo would stop telling the announcers to make up lies about us. [Esprit]: Yeah, man, Hugo's ALWAYS riding our derrieres on stuff like that. "Insult Robbie", "Suck up to Jerry", "Don't park in my space" -- nag, nag, nag. [Rocket]: Funny, I've never gotten any instructions from AWI management on commentary ... [Robbie] Number two, Corey and I were wrongfully eliminated from the North American Title Tournament. Cross Body, those fine upstanding Christians decided to BLATANTLY hit the referee in the course of the match ... and it was a woman no less! If they praciticed what they preached, we would have advanced to face, and beat, the Chaos Brothers in the next round. But I'm getting used to this bias ... I'll let it slide just this once. Now we move on to Jerr-assic Straite. Laugh it up while you can, Jerry. There are two reasons why you won. One reason was that you had that chair-wielding maniac Steve the Insane run around ringside. How can Tank concentrate on the match when he's got to worry about my safety and his own safety with that mentally disturbed lunatic running around threatening the physical well being of everyone in the building? Steve, if you want a problem with us, you just got it. I'm sure Tank wouldn't mind eliminating a small problem for Jade Tiger. And the other reason you won, Jerry, was becuase you were using a blantant chokehold, the referee of course ignores it because Hugo's plotting against us. Laugh it up while you can Jerry, because once you get in the ring with Tank again, you're gonna be leaving the ring in a coffin! And finally ... we'll move onto the least significant "problem" facing me ... Ed Carr and Jack Robertson. You know Ed, I'm sick and tired of your taking credit for my success. [Rocket]: WHAT? /Robbie's/ the one who spent the whole first six months of his career talking about how he was trained at the Ed Carr Wrestling Academy? Now he's accusing *Ed* of trying to make a name off *him*? [Robbie] Ed Carr taking credit for my success is like a kid who went to school with Bill Clinton in first grade taking credit for making him president because he elected him hall monitor in school. [Esprit]: Come on, Rocket! The circle is complete! Robbie is the master now! Ed Carr is no match for the Dark Side of the Force! [Jurgens]: You done extended your metaphor a wee bit too far. [Robbie] Ed Carr gave me my start, that much is true. But if the check clears, Ed Carr would train Paul Stone to be a wrestler. All Ed Carr cares about is making money off of people. I wanted to be a wrestler, I got my foot in the door with AWI because I went to Ed's school. And if you add up everything I learned from Ed, I'd still be getting beat up by Little Vincent week in and week out. After a millon phone calls from Ed BEGGING me to plug his school, I took pity on him and gave him some publicity. [Esprit]: See! Explanation forthcame! [Robbie] But the truth is, I became the superstar and champion I am today because of my hard work ethic. If you want to be a wrestler, go to the AWI Launch Pad. That's where I went and busted my butt to get to the level where I could beat someon the calibre of Joey Hasegawa. [Jurgens]: OK, now I'M confused ... he thinks the AWI has a personal beef with him, but he's gonna plug our wrestling training camp? [Robbie] Ed, I'm tired of you living off of my reputation. If you want to be exposed as the fraud you are, you get in the ring and I'll prove it by pinning you 1-2-3. [Jurgens]: Actually, Ed makes his living off my pardner Tom's reputation, but that's another story. [Robbie] And Jack Robertson ... you're an even bigger idiot than I thought if you think Ed Carr is going to turn around your career. You were a nobody before him and after his "special training", you'll be lucky to be able to take Plague Dog to a draw if he has one arm tied behind his back and two flats on his wheel chair. Take a hint Jack, call your brother and see if he can get you a job as the assistant french fry engineer at Arby's, because if you think you can hang with Team Stevens, the only job you'll be qualified for is sitting on the corner with an empty paper cup begging for spare change. [Jurgens]: That'd be the only job he's qualified for NOW. {Robbie drops the mike and motions for Cassidy to approach.} [Rocket]: I can't believe we have to put up with this. [Esprit]: Why can't you just relax and enjoy a master at his craft? [Jurgens]: He's a master of somethin', at any rate. {Cassidy surprises Robbie out of the blocks, opening up with a flying cross body block; Robbie wards him off with an eyerake, lets him stand up, and takes him down with a dropkick. He then puts on a front facelock.} [Esprit]: You wanted a master? Agility, technical skill, and ingenuity, all in the space of a heartbeat. {Cassidy breaks but Robbie legsweeps him, and pulls Kenny back to his feet, then tries to bodyslam him -- Kenny blocks and slams Robbie.} [Jurgens]: It seems Robbie underestimated his opponent. For example, he forgot to take into account that he's an adult male who's still breathin'. {Cassidy picks up Robbie, whips him to the ropes, and dropkicks him on the return. He pulls Robbie back up, struggles for a moment, then manages a suplex.} [Rocket]: He's going up top ... this is an upset in the making ... [Esprit]: No, it can't be! it's all part of Robbie's plan ... I think. [Rocket]: That "plan" is about to come to naught ... Cassidy off the top with a splash -- BUT ROBBIE'S NOT HOME! Stevens JUST out of the way ... and he's waiting in ambush as Cassidy staggers to his feet -- WICKED AWESOME SUPER KICK! The cover's a mere formality here -- Cassidy was plain LAID out there ... [Esprit]: I TOLD you! Robbie had him scouted all along! [Jurgens]: Uh-huh. [Rocket]: While Kyle pleads the TV "champion's" case, let's hear some words from our next two competitors. ================================================================= {Camera cuts to the locker room, where seated on a bench is a tower of muscle with closely-trimmed rusty brown hair, black tights, and bright red boots and knee pads -- clearly recognizable as the "War Machine" Greg Gardner. He raises his head to fix the camera with a determined look.} [Greg Gardner] Questions. I think sometimes that's the purpose of this sport, that we step into the squared circle every night, or pay money to sit outside and watch, not because we're striving for excellence but because we strive for answers. Questions. Like, what the hell, Greg? Where were you, Greg? What happened to you, to lose half a year of your life? As the saying goes, don't believe everything you hear on TV. I never walked out on this league. I never walked out on the fans. I just took a redeye flight home one night and found a letter in my mail the next day telling me not to come back. I never walked out of this league. I never walked out on the fans. But ... it's so easy to get caught up in all the different layers we build this sport on -- the honor, the glamor, the friendships and feuds -- that a man can forget the first and most basic level, that before and below all else, it's a *job*, too ... and it seems that somewhere down the line, I guess someone thought I wasn't pulling my weight. Was he right? Did I let this league down? Am I working now with another guillotine blade hanging over my head, waiting to fall? Questions. Why should we let the War Machine anywhere near a title match? I keep an ear on the grapevine, and I know what they're saying out there: that I've gotten gold fever and I'll do anything for a belt, that I don't have any right to a title match with so many other worthies in the league who *haven't* been gone for six months ... and maybe they're right. See, I can tell myself that I was cut off from competition as the number one contender to the championship ... I can tell myself that given a clean match, I could have beaten McGill, could have beaten Robertson. I can *tell* myself that I could really be the best -- but if I look into the eyes of the fans as I walk down the aisle, I see the same thing that stares back at me from my own eyes in the mirror. Questions. That's why I'm here tonight, facing one half of the World Tag Team Championships. By definition, this man is one of the cream of the crop, the best our sport has to offer. I've been spending part of my ... enforced vacation ... examining my behavior, in and out of the ring, focussing my skills, my mind, and my heart. I've tried to reengineer the Machine, from pistons to paint job. If I've done my job right, if I can make it through a champion tonight, then that's a small piece of the puzzle, part of the answer to those questions. If not ... well, then, that's an answer, too. ================================================================= {John "Asylum" Smith is in the locker room, er, preparing for his match by coloring in an AWI coloring book.} [Asylum] {intently coloring} AWI's been kinda fun lately. We got to beat up Carlos Mendoza. We got to beat up Oracle -- even though Mike did lose that match. {looks around for Kirwan} He's kinda touchy about that, though. Now I have matches coming up with both War Machine and Danny Boy McGill. Danny Boy's pretty good -- and his manager's pretty nice-looking, too. The War Machine -- I've been a fan of Greg Gardner's for awhile. Really. He's not as cool as Steve the Insane, but I like the guy. So, wrestling him will be pretty cool ... be a damn shame if Mike and I have to beat him up, too. Hrmm ... now where the heck is that blue crayon? {The camera zooms in on the picture John is coloring: Intensive Care vs the Honor Guard.} ================================================================= {The screens shift, moving a screen to the front with the match between Asylum John Smith and Greg Gardner just starting.} [Rocket]: And ... and this is one of the stranger things I've ever seen: Smith offering Gardner a shake ... the "War Machine" accepts ... and we get a clean break. [Jurgens]: Which is odd to hear in a match involving Intensive Care when it doesn't apply to bones. [Rocket]: Even stranger, we have a collar and elbow to start the match ... Gardner actually seems to have problems lowering his center of gravity, and Asylum gets the leverage, shifting into a side headlock ... [Jurgens]: This is not going to be an easy match for him. He looks like a streamer tied to a kid's bike. {Smith gives up on the headlock, shoving Gardner towards the ropes, then runs into the ropes himself, and comes back with a leg lariat, but Gardner just staggers; Asylum punches him.} [Esprit]: A simple solution to a simple man. [Jurgens]: I dunno ... looks like the War Machine's just gettin' piqued. {Gardner shoved back into the ropes, and gets hit with an elbow smash; he grabs John by the neck and slams him to the mat.} [Rocket]: GARDNER WITH A BIIIIIG CHOKESLAM! [Jurgens]: Yep -- piqued ... as in he just piqued up Smith and squashed him like a bug ... [Rocket]: Mike Kirwan on the outside yelling encouragement to his partner, but it may not be of any help ... {Gardner picks up John and whips him to the ropes; John ducks Greg on the first pass, and jumps high in the air on the return -- but Gardner catches him, and ...} [Rocket]: HIGH press slam! [Jurgens]: How many times do we have to explain the proper uses of "high" and "big" with Gardner -- which would be, all the time? {Gardner sending Asylum to the ropes again, and again Asylum ducks an attack; he catches Gardner with a clothesline, but the big man doesn't fall. Smith's in the ropes again for another clothesline, but Greg's still up.} [Rocket]: Asylum goes back to the well a third time -- and STILL Greg's standing ... he tries again-- ASAI MOONSAULT -- AND GREG DOESN'T FALL! Smith just bounced off like a racquetball! Gardner's wobbly, and Smith tries one more times into the ropes, comes off -- he's up with a 'rana -- no, he's caught -- HOLY-- POPPA BOMB!! {Gardner slams John into the mat like a powerbomb, only headfirst.} [Esprit]: He can't use that! That's a registered trademark move! Just because he fluked the real giant of this league once, he thinks he can get away with stealing moves? They should ban him again! {Smith punches Gardner away, but Greg scoops him into a bodyslam; as John stands, Greg shoulders him and drops into a fallaway slam. Gardner picks John back up and sends him to the ropes, catching him on the rebound in a powerslam.} [Jurgens]: Let this be a lesson to you, kiddies ... EASE into the singles scene. Both in wrestling and in life, biting off too much too fast can cause you to choke. [Esprit]: This can't last forever ... if Lupo were here, he'd have Asylum brutalizing Gardner, instead of kissing up to him before the match. What the heck's wrong with that blue-haired freak? [Jurgens]: You'd best hope I-C isn't taping at home. [Esprit]: Of course, I meant "blue-haired freak" in a good way. [Rocket]: War Machine getting ready for his own Northern Lights, the-- no, I think John' BITING him! That's heinous ... Machine pulling back -- and Smith with ... a drop toehold? [Jurgens]: A bite ... into a drop toehold. Now I've seen everything. {Kirwan's on the apron now, arguing with the referee about something; Smith throws Gardner into the ropes, and flies off with a bodypress, but he gets caught. Gardner doesn't capitalize right away, Smith struggles free, and then DDTs him.} [Rocket]: SMITH PULLS HIM INTO A DDT! What a move! [Esprit]: That's what makes Smith a champion ... I think Gardner's about to see what Intensive Care is ALL about. [Rocket]: Smith is climbing to the top rope ... he's off with that fist -- RIGHT into Gardner's head-oooohhh ... that was UGLY. [Esprit]: Told you ... you get into the ring with Intensive Care, you DON'T get out in one piece. [Jurgens]: That head looks bad -- I think he got the same part of Gardner's head Dan Lea Devastated back during the Long Hot Summer ... {Smith rolls a bloodied Gardner out of the ring, then gets a chair; he sits Gardner in it, and grabs another chair, which he beats over Greg's head.} [Rocket]: This is *severe* abuse on the big man ... not even Gardner can take this! [Esprit]: Like he's got a choice? {John gets back into the ring, and rushes to the opposite ropes; as he rebounds, he leaps over the top rope at Gardner, who manages to roll aside just in time. John hits the floor hard.} [Rocket]: OH, NOOOOO!!! PLANCHA SUICIDA -- and Asylum takes the hit himself! Asylum surfs the concrete with that suicidal maneuver! We just came seconds away from very likely seeing Greg Gardner permanently injured! [Esprit]: Sure, rub it in! {Gardner gets Smith back in the ring, and applies a belly-to-back suplex.} [Rocket]: Sharp suplex from the War Machine -- but Gardner looks tired ... {Greg throws Smith into the ropes, but Asylum catches him with a leg lariat. [Rocket]: ... and Gardner goes down! [Jurgens]: Big mental mistake. You know you're woozy, so why give your opponent a running start? [Rocket]: Smith is going up top ... he seems ready to finish this ... here he comes, with a shooting star-- NO! Gardner got the knees up! That's a big break for the big man! [Esprit]: Luck. Pure fluke. {The two lock up again, and John staggers him with another punch. Smith whips Gardner into the ropes, just in time for Mike Kirwan to slam him in the back with a steel chair.} [Rocket]: Whip to the ropes -- AND KIRWAN WITH A CHAIR TO GARDNER'S BACK! That was totally uncalled for -- I can't believe Curtis Keyes missed that! [Jurgens]: He's busy arguing with Asylum. Smith's probably still looking for that blue crayon. [Rocket]: Asylum back in the match now -- he charges Gardner -- but gets scooped up into a side-- no, a pendulum breaker! ================================================================= {Instant replay: Gardner sidesteps a charging Asylum, scoops him up as if for a side suplex, then spins slightly and plants him onto a knee.} ================================================================= [Rocket]: He's got John up again -- gutwrench powerbomb! {Gardner picks John up and sends him to the ropes; he catches him on the rebound with a side slam suplex. He staggers back a bit, as John pulls himself to a standing position; he lifts John from behind, as for an atomic drop, then spins him around to drop to the mat in a powerbomb position.} [Rocket]: Gardner with an atomic dro-- no, a MASSIVE powerbomb variant!! He holds for the pin -- 1 ... 2 ... 3-- AND THERE'S KIRWAN WITH THE CHAIR! Gardner's already hurt, and he's reeling from Kirwan's assault ... I don't think he can even see right now -- he's a mess, and Kirwan and Asylum are just LAYING into him -- AND HERE COMES JUSTICE!!! Intensive Care piles out of the ring ... and in two weeks, we've had two VERY close losses for Intensive Care ... and two VERY hurt big men! ================================================================= {"Mars Overture" from "Sympony of the Planets" cues up in the background as the camera pans over various views of "Old World" style sepia maps; various lines of charcoal black are spreading across the maps, as if a match was being dragged underneath. The view fades from one map section to another as the voice of Chad Duncan can be heard.} [Duncan]: From all across the globe they come ... to push their skills ... to test their mettle ... to prove they are the best the world has to offer. And when they meet, it will cause an ... {The view fades to a shot of Canada, where a group of lines are converging; as they meet, the paper bursts into an expanding circle of CGI flames, to reveal the logo of:} @@@@@@ @@@@@@ @@ Pay-Per-View Update: @ @@ @@@@@@@ @@@@@@ @@ @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@ I N T E R N A T I O N A L @@@@@@@@@@@@ @ @@@ @@@@@@@ I N C I D E N T : @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ Contest Of Champions @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@ March 8th, 1998 @@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@ at the Molsen Centre @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@ Montreal, Quebec, Canada @ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ ================================================================= {Camera cuts to show Chad Duncan behind a "newscaster" style desk shuffling a stack of papers.} [Chad] Welcome to this special pay-per-view update, covering the first ever AWI International Incident! This is the first of an exciting series of seasonal pay-per-view extravaganzas, each to be held in an arena outside the United States, proving that the AWI has the best action not just in America but worldwide! And to kick off this International Incident, the AWI will be holding a Contest of Champions -- every title sanctioned by the AWI will be up for grabs in what promises to be an incredible night of wrestling action! {A picture of Robbie Stevens next to a grey-masked wrestler cues up behind Chad.} Even Television Champion Robbie Stevens has signed to defend his title against {grimace} Grey Guardian Five ... {soto voce} well, they can't all be 5-star matches ... {Picture of Angela Dante, Brenda Storm, and Dream Succubus} The Women's Tag Team Champions, Firestorm, will be defending their titles against the Japanese horrors Dream Succubus -- in SPITE of the terrible injuries inflicted on Angela Dante by that team just this winter! Other women's action will include ... {Picture of Dacia Blackthorne opposite Alliyah Johnston.} ... the "Ringmaster" Dacia Blackthorne will be facing off against the "Mastermind" Alliyah Johnston, in a rather unusual grudge match -- to avoid outside interference, which both women claim a deep concern for, ANY woman appearing illegally at ringside will be suspended for a period of no less than 30 days! {Picture of the Fallen Angel opposite Sarah Victory.} Also, the Women's Champion will be defending her title against the enigma of the AWI Woman's division, Miss Sarah Victory! Sarah has been rather quiet of late, but no less active and no less brutal! {Picture of Danny Boy McGill opposite D.A. Bookthrower.} Part of the non-title confrontations to be seen at this event includes superstar prodigy Danny Boy McGill taking on one of his most frequent and persistent enemies, the self-proclaimed Law of the AWI, D. A. Bookthrower! These men have been at each other's throats since the early days of the UWA, and we can bet to see a hard-fought match from them both! {Picture of "Zap" London and "Blunt" Dakota next to a pair of question-marked silhouettes.} We'll finally see the resolution of the North American Tag Team Championship tournament, when finalists the Chaos Brothers take on the winners of tonight's match between the Toxic Twins and Agony & Ecstasy -- no matter who wins, Zap and Blunt are in for a BRUTAL match! {Picture of Jerry Straite next to Crystal Crow, backed by Jade Tiger.} The Crystal Crow defends his North American title against the Canadian legend Jerry Straite, who had these thoughts on that match ... ================================================================= {Jerry Straite sits in a locker room, clad in jeans and a red Canadian hockey jersey. He leans back in the chair, and stares at the wall.} [Jerry Straite] I mentioned a few days ago how I was followin' the Olympics. You all know how proud I am to be Canadian. But I've been learnin' a little more about patriotism; seein' the reactions of the fans when there guys won and lost ... and feelin' my own reactions ... Catrina Le May Doan ... double medallist on skates ... Men's skating relay; only guys who could stay on their feet {grin} ... watchin' Sandra prove curling's a sport; and that *nobody* plays it better than Canadians {GRIN} ... watchin' Mike prove her wrong, after doing *so* well ... {sigh} ... watchin' the world catch up with us in hockey, knowin' there's no going back ... But it's not always about winning 'n' losing, you know. It's about a kid named Stojko still going for the gold, when he's in more pain than you'd believe. It's about disappointments and rewards and just *being* there ... being an Olympian. And representin' your country. How incredible can it be to stand up and say, "For this one second, for this one performance, I ... *am* ... my country."? {sits up, and looks at the camera} My mind's wanderin'. My point is ... when you got your love for your country down inside you, it *means* somethin'. It can drive you to the top ... to be the absolute best. At International Incident, I will be on my turf. I will be a Canadian in Canada. I will have a *nation* in my corner. Crystal Crow, what do you have? 'The Celestial Temple of the Orient' ... what the hell does that mean? The Jade Tiger's got his little anti-Western kick ... and you two don't even have a nation that will take you, do you? Who are you rootin' for in the Olympics, Crow? What flag, what song, gets to you, gets in your heart, pushes you to be the best? If all you've got is what the Tiger's telling you ... that won't be enough. Not against me. Not that day. Not that place. At silly as it sounds, the North American title *will* be coming home ... ================================================================= {Cut back to Chad Duncan at his desk; the picture behind him changes to a view of Kim "Tiger" Lee and Jilliam Bole opposite "Stretcher" Mike Kirwan and "Asylum" John Smith.} [Chad] Also in action, the tag team combination of "Perfection" will be trying to prove their name against the World Tag Team Champions, Intensive Care! Intensive Care has been making names and breaking limbs on the singles circuit as of late -- I got these words from the challengers some time earlier ... ================================================================= {Cut to locker room. Chad Duncan is there with Kim Lee and Jilliam Bole, collectively, Perfection.} [Duncan] I'm here with the challengers to the World Tag Team titles, the unusually silent Perfection. So, Jil, Kim, where have you been? [Jilliam Bole] First, /Chad/, please ... call us Mr. Bole ... [Kim Lee] And Mr. Lee. Well, Chad the answer to that is quite simple. You see, even being that we are Perfection, we do need to train every now and again. [Bole] Especially when competing against a team as high of a caliber as Intensive Care, who, although they are not Perfection, they are dangerous. So, as Kim has implied, we have been busy practicing for this match. [Lee] You see, after embarasing the War Birds for the second time, and embarassing them into seclusion, we felt that it was best to hone our skills for a team whose primary offense was not slapping you with their overly-extended waist lines. [Bole] So, we've found a number of technically sound and agile sparring partners to refine our tactics for Intensive Care. Of course, none of these teams could even manage to hit so much as a drop toehold on myself ... [Lee] Or on myself, but it was different being able to lift someone without much exertion. [Duncan] I see ... well, what is your reaction to the news that Dr. Robert Lupo will not be in the corner of Intensive Care. [Bole] /Chad/, this comes as nothing but a boon to our confidence. You see, both John Smith and Mike Kirwan are sound wrestlers, but Robert Lupo was an amazing tactician who was immensely capable of preparing his men ... [Lee] And he was quite beneficial to have at the side of the ring. Now, clearly, he could not hold a candle to either Jil or I as we are Perfection, but he helped his team immensely. [Bole] Now, without Dr. Lupo there to help Intensive Care we have a much better chance against them I believe. Of course, our title reign was a foregone conclusion in the first place, but it will now be much easier to procure the titles. [Duncan] Don't you think you're taking Intensive Care a bit lightly? [Bole] My dear Chad, not at all. We have nothing but the most utmost of respect for both, Mike Kirwan and ... [Lee] John Smith. However, we are Perfection. Intensive Care are many things. They are ferocious ... [Bole] Able ... [Lee] Athletic ... [Bole] Sadistic ... [Lee] Technically sound ... [Bole] But they are not Perfection. [Duncan] I guess we'll find out at International Incident whether Perfection's enough to take the titles ... Gentlemen, thank you for your time. ================================================================= {Cut back to Chad, as the picture behind him changes to Greg Gardner opposite Ken Mischief.} [Chad] And finally, the match everyone has their eye on ... as we heard earlier in this program, the AWI has agreed to place the "War Machine" Greg Gardner in a match against Ken Mischief, the winner of the 1997 Spring Stampede, for the AWI World Championship itself! That's the docket for this Sunday ... remember, if you aren't already getting International Incident, CALL YOUR LOCAL CABLE OPERATOR, or your satellite television provider, and tell them you want A-W-I! The Power, the Pride, The Fight Worldwide! ================================================================= {Cut back to the virtual studio, where a frozen picture of Tyler Toxic and Toshiaki Hasegawa in a wrestling ring is on the back wall.} [Rocket] And we're ready for our grand finale, and the answer of one of the long-standing questions of this fiscal year -- who will be the final two competitors at International Incident for the North American Tag Team Championship? [Esprit] Who else? The Toxic Twins! They were champions before, they'll be the champions again! Robbie's boys are good, damn good, but the Toxic's have something extra on their side -- they're fighting to get back what's rightfully theirs! [Jurgens] Nope, I do believe they "rightfully" got beat for them belts. Twice. [Esprit] Only after SOMEONE {glares at Stan, and starts speaking in an exaggerated Texan accent} done rigged the durn match against 'em! [Jurgens] Careful, boy, you're startin' to bug me. ================================================================= {The image on the back wall flies up to fill the screen, and takes motion.} [Rocket]: And the match is under way, with Tyler and Joey in first -- but hold on! Tank Bradley hits Perry with a running headbutt outside the ring! [Jurgens]: I can already tell THIS is going to be a fun one. {Toshiaki nimbly dodges Tyler's attacks on the inside, but Tyler gets his hands on him and tosses him into the turnbuckle; Perry makes it a matched set outside into the railing.} [Esprit]: This isn't a match. It's Greek tragedy. Do you realize what a travesty it is, watching these two classic duos savage each other, KNOWING that Sap and Blunder are already in the finals? [Rocket]: Tamara already having words with Curtis Keyes ... {Tyler clotheslines Joey in the turnbuckle, as Perry slides in from beneath to clip Smilin' Joey's knees.} [Rocket]: You may not like them, but you have to admire the Toxics' teamwork ... [Esprit]: Who doesn't like them? Tamara likes them ... /I/ like them ... of course, Tamara /really/ likes them, but that's a whole other story. {Tyler out on the apron now, and he drops a leg on Bradley, while Perry inside puts an armwringer on Toshiaki; Tyler press slams Bradley right onto the railing.} [Rocket]: Tyler presses the Tank high into the air, and drops him hard onto that steel security rail! Talk about strength! [Jurgens]: Strength? I'd call it stupidity ... that's a guy that put Mike Piersall out of wrestling just for not rearranging his schedule to Bradley's tastes ... the Toxics had better have a triplet at home somewhere, unless they gave blood VERY regularly. [Rocket]: Tyler picking up Bradley again ... what's this -- Tamara's running around the ring--it's Jessica Perkins! How did she get out here? [Jurgens]: The aisle, like everybody else? [Rocket]: She's screaming obscenities at Tamara, and Tamara is in a race for her life ... Tyler grabs Jessica on the next lap -- and dumps her into the crowd! [Jurgens]: I don't really think that's what the league had in mind when they asked for more "fan interaction." {Bradley takes the advantage to slam Tyler into the railing, and Joey's out of the hold and out of the ring. Tyler returns fire with a clothesline, and follows through to hit Joey as well. Perry joins his brother, but Joey hits him with a low blow, and Perry doubles over, while Tyler clotheslines Tank again without knocking him down; Tank shoots back with a forearm smash.} [Rocket]: Free for all outside the ring, and we're treading dangerously close to a double-countout here ... [Esprit]: Oh, the league would like THAT a lot, wouldn't they? Their precious new flavor-of-the-month with the new North American belts by default, all thanks to this biased tourney format. {Joey neckbreakers Perry, and rolls him back in just in time, while Tank gets a headvise on Tyler. Joey sends Perry into the ropes, and follows with a handspring hip check. He then rolls up Perry into a small package: 1 ... 2 ...} [Rocket]: This could be it-- And Keyes stops the count ... I didn't think Perry got a shoulder up-- oh, {snorts} Joey had a handful of tights ... [Esprit]: So? Perfectly legal. It's not HIS fault Curtis pays too much attention. [Rocket]: Joey having words with the ref -- and Perry clocks him from behind! And Tank's got Tyler in the full nelson outside! [Esprit]: Watch out, Tyler! That's the Piersall-Wrecker! {Perry gets caught in a sleeper on the inside now, as Tank lifts Tyler into a Canadian backbreaker.} [Rocket]: Perry's down to his knees in that sleeper -- I think he may be out! Curtis Keyes is checking him ... {The referee lifts Perry's arm once ... twice ... Tyler's got a hand on the ring ropes, and kicks Bradley off before rolling himself into the ring. Perry keeps his arm up the third time.} [Rocket]: Tyler from behind, with a double axehandle -- now Perry's free! [Esprit]: {sniff} True brotherhood in action ... isn't it touching? [Rocket]: Curtis Keyes warning Tyler to stay out of the ring ... [Jurgens]: Easy enough for him to say -- maybe ol' Curtis would like to follow him out, and we'll see how long HE stays there with Tank. {Perry's back on his feet, and clotheslines Joey; Joey makes his way back up, takes down Perry with a quick leg drag, and applies a stepover toehold.} [Rocket]: Smooth technique fro-- LOOK AT THAT -- he's got the ropes! But Curtis Keyes sees the illegal leverage, and forces him to break ... [Esprit]: Tamara's obviously got the fix in! That's twice the referee has blatantly and prejudicially taken action against the superior tactical thinking of Robbie's boys. [Rocket] {Joey hops onto the ropes, and leaps off with a springboard moonsault; he hooks the leg for a pin, but gets no count. Both men get back on their feet, and Joey sends Perry to the ropes; Perry rebounds with a hard clothesline. [Rocket]: Perry back in control, pulling Joey back to his feet ... irish whip to-- no, Joey pulls himself back and issues a flurry of kicks to-- [Jurgens]: Let's just say he's makin' a bull into a steer. [Rocket]: --uh, yes ... {Joey brings Perry into his own corner -- Tank slams Perry headfirst into the turnbuckle.} [Rocket]: There's the tag, and Tank's sitting him up top -- I think he's trying to end it! [Jurgens]: I reckon he's ALWAYS tryin' to end it, just some of the time he's taking a more extended road than others. {Perry kicks him between the legs as he's climbing up, and uses an enziguiri kick to take him down.} [Jurgens]: What's good for the goose is good for the ex-gander ... {Tyler gets in the ring now, as Perry sends Bradley into the ropes; Bradley takes down Perry with a backspin punch, but Tyler clotheslines him from behind.} [Rocket]: The Toxic Twins are keeping Bradley trapped -- AND JOEY BODYPRESSES ALL THREE FROM THE TOP ROPE!!! [Esprit]: What timing! What agility! What prescience! What courage! [Rocket]: What are you talking about? Courage? [Esprit]: Can you IMAGINE the beating Tank's going to give him tonight for smacking him like that? And that's just if they WIN! [Rocket]: Referee Curtis Keyes is directing Joey out of the ring, and ... /Perry/ rolls out of the ring, leaving Tyler, the fresh -- and ILLEGAL -- man inside! [Esprit]: Noooo, you must have them mixed up, Johnny -- it happens a lot, they're twins after all ... that's DEFINITELY Perry. After all, it'd be CHEATING for Perry to leave the ring without tagging. [Rocket]: Of COURSE it's cheating -- and though I'm fairly sure what I saw, Curtis Keyes is taking this for Perry ... Tank headbutts Tyler-- [Esprit]: Perry. [Rocket]: --/TYLER/ and sends him into the ropes ... POWERSLAM!!! {Both men are on their feet, and Tank Bradley scores with a reverse DDT. He tags in Hasegawa, and slaps a full nelson on Tyler.} [Esprit]: Two Piersall Wreckers on the same man in one night! This is brutal! This is agony! This is-- this is great! [Rocket]: On the same man? So, you're admitting that's Tyler? [Esprit]: Uh ... uh, no! The first time, it was Perry, too! {Joey gets in the ring now, and kicks away at Tyler while the Toxic brother is defenseless. Perry hops in the ring to help out, but Joey takes him down with a handspring hipcheck. Tank puts Tyler on the top rope.} [Jurgens]: He'd better work fast there -- looks like Tamara's giving Perry a little something more than woman's intuition down there ... specifically, $10 more, in *hard* change ... [Rocket]: A forearm from Tank to stun Tyler ... Joey's climbing the corner ... and THERE'S THE NAIL IN THE COFFIN! {Tank Bradley jumps off with a 2nd rope super tombstone piledriver on Tyler Toxic.} [Rocket]: Perry's on his feet as Tank makes the cover -- FLYING ELBOW from Joey to cut him off! 1 ... 2 ... 3!!! AND ROBBIE'S MEN WILL ADVANCE! ================================================================= {The scene freezes and floats back in to form the screen behind our announcers again.} [Rocket] That's all the time we have for this week ... remember, we'll be rebroadcasting our first hour just before Explosion this Tuesday, so make sure you tune in! For Stan Jurgens and Kyle Esprit, this is Johnny Rocket, signing off! ================================================================= This work copyright © 1998 by Allied Sports Enterprises. Allied Wrestling International is a member of the Summit Wrestling Alliance; permission is given to distribute or rebroadcast AWI footage in cooperation with Summit Wrestling events. "FOX" logo is a registered trademark of 20th Century Fox, used without permission for purposes of parody; no actual association between the writers and CBS should be inferred. "Promotional" trademarks likewise used without permission or affiliation for purposes of parody. Written by Bryce Berggren & Eric Roy, in cooperation with Bryant Berggren and the players of Allied Wrestling International =================================================================