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"| |eeeeeeeeeee$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$bc. ^%.| |$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$bc. | |$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$F| +-----------------------------------------+ Television Network P R E S E N T S ================================================================= [Doug Abercrombie] I can't believe the ending of my match with Kerry Masters. First, Kerry brings the Queen down because she wanted a good look at Mr. Excitement, but she kept flirting with me during the match and I got distracted. I know you want me, honey, but wait 'til after the match next time, okay? I'll show you a real good time, but I need to take care of business first. Then he pays off Spassky to come down and cheat in his favor. Spassky, you are so lame! You have no business out there! You suck! You can't ever come at anyone head-on, and need to cheap-shot people from behind. You're lucky you snuck up on Weasle, 'cause he would have kicked your fat, decrepit, sandwich-fetching silverware-polishing, crumpet-eating *BLEEP* back to England. But I figured out why you keep coming out during my match. It's the same reason the Queen came out. You're a homo and you want me! Well, I'm straight as an arrow and so is the Weasle, so stay away, you English fruit! But back to the Queen and Masters. Masters, you are terrible. The ONLY reason you won is you were so bad, you threw me off my game plan. You kept tripping and falling and I'd miss a move. Of course you missed /all/ your moves. Somewhere down the line I'll get another piece of you and I won't drop to your level next time. I'll kick your *BLEEP* right from the beginning. Loser. As for the Queen? Darling, I'll leave you my hotel room number for you at the next event and you can drop in and see me {big smile}. Well, Weasle seems to have hit all the balls over the fence, so I guess we better take off. {camera fades} ================================================================= {Fade into a view of a technological control room reminiscent of NORAD, complete with Irwin Allen computer banks and three very large television screens dominating the back wall. As the opening bars to "The Final Countdown" by Europe begins to play, a young African-American man in an executive suit (recognizable as Jamahn Chamberlin) reaches out and presses a big red button marked "Deploy". The outer TV screens begin shifting scenes rapidly through random AWI action sequences, while the center one displays a computer generated image of a missile launch. We see a "warhead's eye view" of the missile's flight across a virtual landscape of mountains and hills, approaching a city skyline, zooming down a street and finally "locking on" to an athletic stadium. As it begins its final approach, green "LED" style numbers begin appearing superimposed over the central screen, while the outer ones slow to recognizable clips: [10] Angela Dante smacking Jade Tiger with a broom; [09] Mist Angel backflipping out of a Reverend James chokeslam in the midst of a battle royale; [08] "Asylum" Smith taking a flying leap into a table with a chainsaw; [07] Perry Toxic w/a Toxic Bomb on Riverboat; [06] Greg Gardner w/a Skywalk Slam on Tank Bradley [05] Bryan Bachman hits Dan Lea with the Flying Bulldog; [04] Perfection with the New Perfect Finisher on The Warbirds; [03] Robbie Stevens & co. harassing Chad Duncan; [02] The Fallen Angel with a double flying body press on Dream Succubus; [01] Steve the Insane gives Ken Mischief the Frontal Lobotomy; At this point, the missile strikes home, all three monitors explode in a shower of sparks, and a logo closes in like sliding doors from top and bottom ... _______________________________________________________________ |_______________________________________________________________| * * * _________________ * * * / / / / _ _ __ __ / \ \ \ L L L / / || \ / // / / L L L | || || | / / || \/ // / / | || || | | || || | / / / || // / / | || || | | || || | / /_/|_||/\_//_/ / | || || | |_||_||_| /________________/ |_||_||_| ____ __ __ ____ _ ____ ____ _ ____ __ _ | __|\ \ / /| _ \ | | / \ / ___|| | / \ | \ | | | |_ \ \/ / | (_) )| | | /\ | \ \ | || /\ || \ | | | _| ) ( | __/ | | | ( ) | \ \ | || ( ) || |\ \| | | |__ / /\ \ | | | |__ | \/ | __\ \ | || \/ || | \ | |____|/_/ \_\|_| |____| \____/ |____/ |_| \____/ |_| \__| _______________________________________________________________ |_______________________________________________________________| REUNION ARENA, DALLAS, TX {And the camera comes view on a packed crowd cheering wildly, before zooming in further to reach the announcer's platform, where a very enthusiastic-looking Heather Rasputin, a very irritated-looking Kyle Esprit, and a very goofy-looking Paul Stone are positioned.} [Heather] Hello everybody, and welcome to this edition of EXPLOSION! Tonight, we're going to see "the Awesome One", Kerry Masters, in action against the always-inscrutable Jade Tiger ... [Kyle] Who should be receiving police protection from the AWI, not forced to expose himself to mortal danger like this! He's being stalked by a madman! [Paul] Well, if he tried to pin Kerry in the privacy of his own home, people might ask questions. [Heather] Paul aside, Kyle, even YOU have to admit Jade Tiger brought this down upon himself. [Kyle] For what?? All we KNOW that he did was stand up for the way things used to be. You're gonna say an old man can get crippled for a little nostalgia? [Heather] We can argue this later ... for now, we've got Chad Duncan in the Blast Zone, awaiting comments from the Awesome One himself! >>AISLE<< {"Gett Off" by Prince and the New Power Generation keys up, as "The Awesome One" Kerry Masters makes his way to ringside, slapping hands and dishing out quick kisses to the women on in the aisleway seats. After making his way the ring, he does a quick, provocative dance as sparklers go off behind him in the shape of a cursive "Awesome" with an overlaid "1". As the music and sparklers go down, he hops out of the ring and joins Chad in the Blast Zone.} [Chad Duncan] Kerry Masters ... you've had quite the reintroduction to the AWI ... a few rather competitive matches, and at least one rather bad incident ... [Kerry Masters] {pulling the mic toward himself} Ah ah ah ... Chad ... all things in their proper place. I'll get to "Mighty Midget" Maurice Jackson in a minute. You know I've been pretty quiet as of late ... [Chad] Ummm ... Kerry ... you talk in front of the camera every chance you get. [Kerry] Yeah, I know ... but before I was taking other people's camera time as well as my own ... so comparitively, I'm being quiet. I keep telling Chamberlin that they need to get a personal camera team just for me ... but the boy just DOESN'T LISTEN ... Anyway, I've been pretty quiet as of late, so, if you're sitting at home, get comfortable, grab some popcorn ... 'cause I'm about to do my Jerry Straite imitation ... and I may be the only person in the AWI with a bigger mouth than he has. First off ... my matches as of late. Mikhail Tzskova and the Flock, to start. Tzskova ... don't think I didn't notice the beatdown you and your boys put on me after the beatdown Reverend James put on me. {To himself} Last time I ever tell somebody they need God on their side ... didn't know he was listening ... {back to the camera} Yes ... go ahead and stick KM on your belt. Because, right now ... I have bigger fish to fry ... and to call anybody "big" next to Maurice Jackson let's you /KNOW/ how little I care about you. But ... as soon as I clear a spot on my plate ... I think me and the Philosopher need to go around the ring again ... and I call God on /MY/ side for this one! "Bulldog" Bryan Bachman and Doug Ambercrombie ... I have a lot of respect for both of you. Yes, I respect Ambercrombie ... because I respect anybody that even TRIES to back up all of the noise he talks ... and you KNOW I hate it when somebody talks too much. Bachman -- all I can say to you is ... I want a rematch. So ... as soon as you shut up "The Eternal Mouth" Jason Wrath ... have I mentioned how I hate it when people talk too much? [Chad] Quite often, Kerry. [Kerry] Yeah ... people should be humble ... like me. Anyway, whenever you finish up with the Eternal Mouth, I'd like a rematch. One other person I have to get to besides the AWI's resident Vertically Challenged wrestler. "War Machine" Greg Gardner ... {The crowd pops at the mention of the War Machine's name.} [Kyle]: I knew it! The old Kerry still lives somewhere inside, and THAT'S what it'd take to get it out. Kerry HATES Gardner! Here comes the reckoning? [Kerry] I noticed you commentating my match with Bachman. I believe, in response to my ... less than pure ... fighting tactics ... something along the lines of "The more things change ... the more things stay the same". Well ... you're right on that one. Before ... I was a self-centered, arrogant, egotistical, though incredibly talented jerk. But now ... well ... I'm still a touch arrogant ... just a touch, mind you ... still a touch egotistical ... just a touch mind you ... and I don't know how I did it ... but now I'm even more talented. But the thing that changed was the "self-centered". Right now ... beyond just winning ... beyond personal glory ... I want to give the people out here ... you all ... {Crowd pops for itself} [Kyle]: That's it? That's all he's going to say? [Paul]: Well, actually, I'm betting he's going to say a lot more, just not on that topic ... [Kyle]: This tears it! Kerry's gone soft for good! [Kerry] The people that paid good money the show you want to see. When I call myself "The Man The People Paid To See" ... it's more than just braggadoccia ... it's a FACT. And I /AM/ going to to entertain YOU PEOPLE as only the Epitome Of What Everyone Wants to Be can. And speaking of "entertaining" ... that brings me to the low point of our entertainment ... and, hell ... he's the low point of everything ... cause when you're his size, you don't get much lower ... "Mr. NLS" Maurice Jackson. You see, Jackson ... when it comes to wrestling ... you are the man. I never disrespected your ring skill. However ... you have to understand that my job is to entertain /THESE FANS/ ... and your lack of personality is laughable. As well as your lack of height. Now ... if you are THAT insulted about the things I say ... as soon as "my advisors" look over having a match with you ... we can get it on. I mean ... I've already embarrassed you verbally ... may as well do it in the ring too. Whew ... {looks at his watch} darn it ... try as I might ... I just can't talk as much as Jerry. Well ... I'm young ... I have a lot of time ahead of me ... and, with work, I MIGHT beome as long-winded as Mr. Straite. Anything I'm forgetting, Chad? [Chad] Ummm ... your match tonight with Jade Tiger, perhaps? [Kerry] Oh, that? Do /I/ look worried? Jade Tiger ... if you're lucky, I'll beat you until you have a heart attack. In your prime ... you couldn't keep up with the Epitome of What Everyone Wants To Be ... and I was a little kid watching you on TV when you were in your prime. So ... hopefully for you, you'll get a heart attack or something trying to keep up with me, because we all know Steve the Insane's gonna-- {slows down, as though something just crossed his mind} ummm... Chad... is Steve in the building? [Chad] Steve the Insane is definitely in the house. {Big pop from the crowd.} [Kerry] Ah, nuts ... {grabs the mic, and yells pleadingly into the camera} STEVE!!! STEVE!!! /PLEASE/, /PLEASE/ wait until after the match to kill Jade Tiger!!! I've got an easy win here!!! You can destroy him /AFTER/ the match!!! I'll even kick him while he's down for you ... JUST DON'T KILL HIM DURING THE MATCH!!!! {turns to Chad} I've gotta find Steve ... {to camera} Steve ... DON'T KILL THE TIGER TODAY!!!! {"Gett Off" keys up, and Masters runs down the ramp, yelling "Don't Do It STEVE!!!!".} ================================================================= COMMERCIAL BREAK ================================================================= {The camera fades in to a small dressing room where 'Blunt' Dakota lies sprawled on a hard couch. He has an open manila folder in his hands with the word 'INTENSITY' scrawled in magic marker across the front. He's flipping through the contents, which seem to be bits of paper and photographs. Blunt speaks to the cameraman without looking up from his reading.} [Blunt] You're late. {The scene shakes as the cameraman gives an apologetic shrug.} [Blunt] Don't sweat it. Zap's in the other room hitting the bag, so I'll keep this short. I've been doing some checking on Intensity. Impressive stuff. They're new here, but they're not exactly amateurs. They did some good work in the FWA before coming to the AWI. Kinda makes me wish I'd done the research before I signed that contract. Anyway, Intensity, I like your style. Well, I like Fury's style, Power's gonna give me a headache with all that screaming. He reminds me a little to much of a certain drill sergeant I trained with. That aside, it's gonna be nice to wrestle some people I can trust after last week. Getting your head stomped into the concrete floor by some nameless crazy kinda makes you long for the camaraderie of the ring, know what I'm saying? {Blunt finishes going through the folder and closes it. He stares at the cover, lost in thought. After a second, he shakes himself back to reality.} Intensity. Good name. Makes you think of strength, focus, dedication. All of which you've got in spades. But that's not gonna be enough tonight. I'm not gloating, but you're gonna need to put some thought into the match. You're gonna have to show us some tactics, some strategy, if you want the big 'W'. {Blunt reaches under the couch and pull out his ever present pack. He roughly shoves the folder into the pack, then slings the whole affair over his shoulder as he stands.} Enough speech. I've done my homework, it's your turn Intensity. Show me what you've learned. {Blunt breezes past the cameraman and out the door. Fade out.} ================================================================= {Camera cuts to the ring, where the Chaos Brothers and Intensity are shaking hands.} [Heather]: Our first match is just about ready to begin ... it looks like it will be "Zap" London starting in the ring against Hector "Power" Martinez ... {Power ties up with Zap, and pulls him into a half-nelson suplex right off the bat ... } [Heather]: Whoa--impressive show of force right from the start by Power! [Paul]: With a name like Intensity, you were expecting drop toeholds? {Zap fights back, however, with a back elbow and a side kick, before being caught with a fallaway slam. Power slows things down with a wakigatme. Zap breaks, and Power applies a half nelson; he lifts Zap to his feet, and moves smoothly into another half-nelson suplex.} {Hector hits a press slam, and brings in Fury with the tag.} [Heather]: And early on, Intensity with the clear-cut advantage over the Chaos Brothers ... and showing very good teamwork as well. [Kyle]: All the teamwork in the world doesn't mean a thing when you've lost your killer instinct. I don't care if they call themselves Call Your Next of Kin, Intensity just doesn't have it -- Power's gone soft. {Zap manages to keep his head, and stuns Fury with a back elbow long enough to make the tag to Blunt. Blunt puts Fury in a drop toehold, then moves to an armbar} [Kyle]: So much for no drop toeholds. [Paul]: Technically, Intensity didn't do it. [Kyle]: It's still their fault, for falling for it. {Fury breaks, catches Blunt in a side headlock, spins him around, and throws a Northern Lights Suplex, but gets no count.} [Heather]: In regards to the "nameless crazy" that Blunt alluded to ... I'm told that we have an authority of sorts on our phone line who can shed a little light on the subject ... Hello, Mr. Carr? {Dakota puts a half-nelson on the floor.} [Ed Carr]: {dull-toned, obviously over a phone} Yeah, you might say I have a few things on my mind. First off -- I have a message for the Chaos Brothers ... good luck. [Heather]: While I'm sure they appreciate the encouragement, I'd have to say that's a little ... cryptic ... {Fury breaks out, and Blunt puts on an armbar.} [Carr]: It's real easy ... you were talking about that camera guy who attacked them recently? Well, I'm not sure how he got a job there, but that was not just any cameraman. You see, wrestling for some reason attracts more than its share of lunatics. Heck, the AWI alone has an unhealthy handful. Better make room for one more, though, 'cause that was "Deathwish" Charlie Hazard, a man I used to manage. That's not just a nickname to Charlie -- that's a way of life. See, Charlie had a few rough times ... mainly related to his ex -- my Uncle Stan, I'm sure, can sympathize. So, Charlie has a bit of a unique perspective on things ... he's not known as the "One Man Foreign Object" for nothing. So, Zap, Blunt -- better you than me. {Fury breaks out, and Blunt locks him in a full nelson.} [Heather]: Hmmm ... interesting. I'm sure the Chaos Brothers will be more than wary of this new wildcard. While you're on the line, I'm sure that you wouldn't mind giving our viewers your thoughts on another former protege of yours, whose had MORE than his fair share of words about YOU: our Television Champion, Robbie Stevens ... {Fury escapes; Dakota puts on a wakigatme armbar.} [Carr]: Robbie, Robbie, Robbie ... I thought I was obnoxious, but I'm a choirboy next to you. First off Sparky, I don't need anyone to run their mouth for me -- as most people well know, I can do plenty of that on my own. Now, you wanna credit the AWI Launch Pad for your career -- hey, more power to you. Let them worry about the downside of your "advertising". As for running me and Jack down again and again ... well, keep digging your own grave. Yeah, my arm's still healing ... but it ain't gonna take forever. I just hope you don't trip yourself up before I get a chance to get there to gloat about it. {Fury pushes himself out of the hold; Dakota gets around him and puts on a standard armbar.} [Heather]: Amen ... well, thanks for your time, Mr. Carr ... [Ed]: No problem, Heather ... you all take care there ... {click} {Fury frees himself, and puts on a side headlock.} [Heather]: Jayson finally breaking that series of weardown locks from Blunt Dakota ... a whip to the ropes ... Dakota ducks him on the first pass ... {The two rebound, and meet again, where Fury powerslams Blunt.} [Paul]: Jayson Michaels with A FURYSLAM!!! [Kyle]: Save the energy for the finishers ... [Paul]: Ah, I just wanted to get that out before Heather called it. It's not every day you name a move, and I want to make sure this one sticks. {Fury locks on a full nelson on; Blunt escapes, and Fury grabs him by his head, dragging him to his feet, then throwing him back to the mat with a full-nelson suplex. He slaps a half nelson on; Blunt breaks, and tags off to Zap. Zap gets a forearm off on Fury and follows it with a back elbow, but his momentum is stopped by a press slam, which Hector follows with a camel clutch.} [Kyle]: Does it seem strange to you that a team called "Intensity" should spend so much time SITTING ON THEIR BUTTS? C'mon guys, bounce off some ropes, jump around, use some hardware, make this worth my TIME ... {Zap breaks out and nails Fury with another forearm, and a snap kick, then hits a back brain kick which staggers Fury; he follows with a legsweep, a stomp, and a side kick combo.} [Heather]: Zap London seems to have found his pace, delivering an amazing barrage of martial arts maneuvers ... [Paul]: Yeah, like "stomp fu" and "forearmete" ... [Kyle]: Paul, my friend, if a black belt gets his butt kicked, he's not going to quibble over details -- he just admits the better man. Then he finds a doctor. {He whips Fury into the ropes and staggers him with a savate kick, then pounds him with a roundhouse combo.} [Heather]: He's pausing for a moment, steadying Fury just so -- for the SPINNING WHEEL KICK! There's the cover -- ONE ... TWO ... and Fury tosses him off! He lunges for the corner -- and makes the tag! {Power hops into the ring, scooping up Zap and charging into a running powerslam.} [Kyle]: Well, I bet THAT killed his buzz ... you know, I always admired Power ... and I suppose I can't blame him for falling in with a bad crowd-- [Heather]: A bad crowd? I would say that Jayson Michaels has been nothing but GOOD for Hector Martinez, both his career and his outlook on life! {Power locks on a boston crab.} [Kyle]: --a bad crowd like this Fury fellow ... I mean, after bogging under Rooks for all that time. What he needs is-- [Paul]: He's at it again, Heather ... [Heather]: A good manager, yes, Kyle, we know. {Zap breaks out and gives Power a forearm shot.} [Heather]: Quick punch from Zap -- and he tags in Blunt! [Kyle]: Who immediately charge in and ... drop toeholds Power. I ... am in hell. {Power escapes, and locks on a half nelson. He stands up Blunt, but gets pulled down with a single-leg pickup; Power kicks Dakota from the floor, and stands up, but Dakota pulls him down with a drop toehold.} [Kyle]: You know, I guess this isn't so bad. {Blunt applies a full nelson on the mat.} [Kyle]: Why, I can think of at least two things worse than watching this match. {Hector escapes, and Blunt switches to an armbar.} [Heather]: I know I'm going to regret asking this ... I *always* regret asking ... but -- what would those be? {Hector breaks the lock, and Blunt puts on a wakigatme armbar.} [Kyle]: One, watching this match without a time limit, so I wouldn't have the comfort of knowing I'm only being tested for ten minutes ... and the other, the thought of these army brats getting the North American belts at International Incident, ensuring I'd have to watch them at least once every month! {Power finally regains the advantage with a half-nelson, and lifts Blunt to his feet before snapping into a half-nelson suplex.} [Heather]: Quick power maneuver from Hector Martinez ... and he makes the tag to Fury! {Hector grabs Blunt, throws him in a belly-to-back suplex; Fury catches Blunt at the height of the arc, and drops him in a German suplex.} [Heather]: And a Coast to Coast suplex from Intensity! What a move! Fury makes the cover -- one ... two ... but Blunt kicks out! I wouldn't have thought he had ANY reserves left after that incredible double slam! [Kyle]: Of course he does, Heather -- unlike the other three, he hasn't even TRIED to actually DO anything in this match ... {Blunt catches Fury in a half-nelson, quickly switching into an armbar.} [Heather]: Blunt using that hold to leverage Fury over to his own corner ... he tags in Zap -- and locks on a full nelson! Zap's adjusting his aim -- and a spinning wheel kick! Zap covers as Blunt ducks outside -- one ... two ... THREE!!! {The two teams regroup in the center and shake hands again as the ring announcer steps inside.} [Alan Kinsmen] Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this bout ... the CHAOS BROTHERS!!! ================================================================= COMMERCIAL BREAK ================================================================= {Camera cuts to our three announcers in the pressbox, Kyle Esprit with a particularly gleeful expression on his face.} [Heather] Fans, we have to replay you some footage of what just happened over the commercial break ... this is-- [Kyle] {laughing} Lightning DOES strike twice! ================================================================= {The camera cuts to show the Chaos Brothers leaving the arena after their win over Intensity, taking some time to greet the fans again; as they reach the curtains for the exit, the man we now know to be Charlie Hazard appears on the fence above the exitway, wearing a black t-shirt and ripped jeans. He jumps down from the fence to land haphazardly (no pun intended) on Blunt Dakota. Zap moves to help his tag team partner, giving Hazard a snap kick as he gets up; another man, more muscularly built, rushes through the curtains and pounds Zap with a double axehandle. The new man and Charlie double-team Zap for a bit before Intensity runs back out, pulling them away. Both men apparently decide a 3-on-1 (soon to be four, as Blunt gets back to his feet) is not for them, and they retreat back through the curtains into the locker area.} ================================================================= {Cut back to the pressbox.} [Kyle] Looks like Zap and Blunt are only BEGINNING to know the REAL meaning of "chaos"! [Heather] I wish we still had Ed Carr on the phone ... this situation is just getting stranger and stranger ... let's go to Chad Duncan now in the Blast Zone, for some {reads a card in front of her} solemn thoughts ... from Steve the Insane and friends. >>BLAST ZONE<< {"Taps" begins to play over the loudspeakers while Steve the Insane, Joe Walker, and Jerry Straite make their way down to the Blast Zone. Straite and Walker are carrying a wreath with a banner that says "In Memoriaum", while Steve follows, nearly expressionless (though there is a hint of a smile). All three are wearing black suits, and Joe and Jerry are wearing sunglasses (as if it's a funeral). Steve puts on a pair of reading glasses and takes the microphone, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket.} [Steve] {clearing his throat} This isn't an easy thing for me to do. A lot of times, people don't take the sport of wrestling too seriously ... after all, it's not like it's life and death. Unfortunately, sometimes it is. Tonight ... tonight we're here to honor one of our own. {Steve unfolds the paper and begins to read aloud.} How did I kill thee? Let me count the ways ... I tried to throw you down the stairs, I hit you with a hundred chairs; I threw you into the railing of steel, Like a pig I tried to make you squeal; With the bat I bashed your head, But still you just would not play dead; So then I asked Joe for his Knucks of brass -- again you wouldn't fall, you pain in -- [Joe] {cough} You folks fill in the last. [Steve] {pausing just a second} I punched and kicked and gouged and maimed -- I just didn't get it, still you came I was really confused, till right in front of me -- the obvious answer, right there on MTV Nothing else had worked, so I figured it was worth a try - if I was lucky, this was how you'd die Broken glass didn't work, and neither did barbed wire, so I took my cue from Beavis -- "Fire! Fire!" [Chad] Um, he's not well is he? [Joe] Let's see, Chad ... we'll take one ordinary, average guy, like -- well, like Steve here ... and you reach into his life, grab his heart from his chest, and POWERBOMB IT ON THE FLOOR HALF A DOZEN TIMES ... what do YOU think that would do to a man? [Chad] I-- [Joe] YOU HAVE NO IDEA, THAT'S WHAT! For a time like that, Steve here is just about picture perfect normal! Don't worry about Steve, Chad -- worry about Tiger. Worry about what Steve's going to do with him, and just HOW MUCH this promotion is NEVER going to be able to show because it's just TOO MUCH for the censors! Or, worry about what Jade might do to HIMSELF when THIS MAN {slaps Jerry on the back} plucks the Crow's shiny gold feather from his waist and leaves Tiger all alone to face the Insanity! [JS] See, Chad, this is the situation: the Jade Tiger has hurt my friends. Ang and Brenda can handle Dream Succubus. Steve's asked me not to do a number on the Green Kitty-cat. Buuuuuttt ... I can take the Crystal Crow to school. He had a hand in all this, too. He didn't make the choice to walk away from it. He's gotta lesson that has to be learned. And, hey, if a few bones are broken ... y'know, these things just happen, sometimes. {Joe and Jerry nod to Steve, and the three make their way down the steps and back out of the arena.} >>PRESSBOX<< [Heather] Strong words from Steve the Insane and his friends ... [Kyle] You mean, his *gang* ... because that's what it is. I'm from LA, Heather, I know colors when I see it -- Steve's putting together his own little posse to terrorize the weak and innocent! [Heather] I'll admit, all three of those men have a high capacity for violence, but Jade Tiger and Crystal Crow are DEFINITELY neither weak nor innocent! In any case ... our cameras visited the centerpiece of this drama earlier today, Miss Angela Dante ... ================================================================= {Scene opens in a hospital room. Angela Dante sits up in the bed, dressed in a hospital gown, with her head bandaged. Brenda Storm sits on one side of the bed, and Chad Duncan stands on the other.} [Chad] We're here in Angela Dante's hospital room, asking the question *everyone* wants the answer to; namely, Angela are you all right? [Angela Dante] {shifting uncomfortably in the bed} Oh, I've felt better on occasion ... most of my life, in fact. But I *am* recovering. The doctors promise me that this isn't a career-ending injury. [Brenda Storm] Not that you'd've listened to them if they had. [Angela] Well ... no. But then, they've never seen some of the other injuries I've had. {muttering} Of course, no doctor on this plane ever has, but still ... [Chad] Ummmmm ... well, the second question everyone's asking, Angela, is will you be ready to wrestle against Dream Succubus at International Incident? [Angela] {snapping back to attention} Do I have much of a choice, Chad? We don't intend to defend our titles by hiding behind an injury, especially one inflicted by our opponents. All that this means is that I have a *much* more personal interest in making sure we win this match. [Brenda] You know Dream Succubus, I would like to think athletes in the AWI would be above what they did last week, but apparently I am wrong. Kimura, Maruyama, I know you're afraid you're going to lose this up coming match. Angela and I have beaten you before and you know we can do it again. [Chad] Nonetheless, you're going into this match with a great big bull's-eye centered on Angela ... [Angela] {smiling} Chad, I *don't* intend to be a stationary target. [Brenda] Angela's told me she'll try to give it her all and that's good enough for me. Dream Succubus, I'm going to give it my all to make sure you don't win these titles. I'll go as far to say I'd fight you 2 on 1 if Angela can't make it. You're nothing but a pair of big, cowardly bullies. Any time you've had to stand face to face with us, Angela and I proved it. At Union III, I plan on showing the best way to get rid of a bully is to look them straight in the eye and give them a fight. And Sarah Victory, you're sure not out here to win Miss Popularity, are you? You continue to disgrace not only the sport of wrestling, but the martial arts as well. As soon as we finish defending these titles against the Dream Succubus, you sign the contract and I'll face you in this ring. You don't have to attack me to get my attention Sarah. I'm not going to back down from your challenge. [Chad] Well, it looks like Firestorm is ready to go like the proverbial bat out of hell come International Incident. [Angela] {amused} Never seen one of those "proverbial" bats, have you, Chad? {fade out} ================================================================= {Camera cuts back to the ring just in time to show Tori Johannsen climbing in, as Madeline Freechild watches her like a hawk; Robbie gets a microphone as referee Tom Newman issues the usual last-second instructions like "Thou shalt not kill".} [Robbie] I know you're all expecting me to come out here and put the bad mouth on Gunther Frauchilde ... but I'm not. Because I won't be labelled an "alternative lifestyle" basher! Tori, on the other hand, is just gonna rip your arm off and beat the snot out of you! She doesn't care if your a man, woman or a ... whatever it is you are! [Heather]: I suppose it was too much to ask that he'd leave that alone with her back. Of all the tasteless, unwarranted insults ... [Paul]: Seems pretty obvious she's a woman to me. After all, how many guys in this business weigh close to 200 pounds and want to LOSE weight? [Heather]: Madeline wasting NO time in locking up with Tori ... {Madeline opens with a half nelson suplex. She picks up Tori, who swings her into a spinning wristlock.} [Kyle]: Now THERE's a great tactician for you ... either she's dating Power, or she just thinks the best way to come up with your strategies is to wait until right before your match and see what worked for other people that night. [Paul]: Uh, but Intensity *lost* ... [Kyle]: Which means she's blind as well as stupid. Your point being? {Madeline escapes, and Tori clotheslines her. She picks up Madeline, and whips her to the ropes, while running to the opposite side; when they cross, she hits Freechild with a high face kick.} [Heather]: Tundra kick from Tori takes Freechild down ... {Tori picks up Madeline, who puts Tori in a half nelson; Tori counters that by biting Madeline.} [Heather]: Good God -- she's-- [Paul]: I guess that Viking Diet takes a lot out of you. [Heather]: This is a disgrace! [Kyle]: Hey, she's just helping Madeline slim down some more. Win-win situation. {Madeline pushes Tori away, and Tori gives her a couple stiff kicks, then puts on a hammerlock. Madeline escapes, and Tori scoops her up to drop her in a shoulderbreaker, then reapplies the hammerlock. Without breaking the hold, she lifts Freechild up and bodyslams her directly on the arm.} [Heather]: I'm loathe to even contemplate this, but ... is it just me, or is Tori actually /working/ a location? [Kyle]: It just goes to show you what an underrated manager Robbie Stevens is. Of course, he'd be much better off turning the managerial reins over to somebody else and concentrating on his stellar in- the-ring career ... but that doesn't mean he's not one of the better managers this league has. [Paul]: How hard could it be, though? Just rub some raw meat on a mannequin arm and play fetch with her for an hour. [Heather]: Paul, that's -- {grimace} never mind. {Madeline pulls Tori to the mat with a single leg takedown, and applies a wakigatme armbar ...} [Heather]: It seems turnabout is fair play ... [Kyle]: Yeah, but what fun is THAT? Better go back to the biting, girl! {Tori escapes, and Freechild locks her in a full nelson. Tori escapes, and bites at Freechild again.} [Paul]: Oh, great, I think she can hear him ... [Kyle]: No, that's just the great minds of two grade A managers thinking alike ... {Tori puts on a hammerlock. Freechild escapes, and puts Tori in a half nelson; standing up, she snaps off a half nelson suplex.} [Kyle]: We're seeing the beginnings of an irritating fad, I think ... [Heather]: The half-nelson suplex does seem to be popular tonight, doesn't it? [Kyle]: I was talking about Madeline not getting beat up. {Tori grabs Freechild on the mat, and puts on an armlock. Freechild escapes, and Tori snares her in an elevated hammerlock.} [Heather]: Oh, NO! Madeline Freechild is now caught in the Hammerlock of Thor! [Paul]: That's as in, "Help! My arm is thor!" {Freechild breaks out, and Tori kicks her twice, then throws her in the ropes and runs after her, hitting her with the face kick.} [Paul]: Ouch ... Freechild may not be getting many dates this week after THAT. [Kyle]: She can always fall back on her old method -- chasing them down and beating them senseless. {She picks up Freechild and whips her to the opposite ropes, catching her on the rebound with a powerslam; Freechild kicks out before any count can be made.} [Heather]: And Tori with a BRUTAL powerslam! And a cover -- pin nazi! Unbelievable resolve on the part of Freechild! [Kyle]: Ha! I wish she'd resolve to lose faster -- I'm going to miss sunset at the cafe. {Tori puts on a hammerlock, and stands up, lifting Freechild into an elevated hammerlock.} [Heather]: And ANOTHER Hammerlock of Thor! [Kyle]: Just like it's namesake, it keeps coming back for its user ... {Freechild escapes, but Tori grabs her by the neck and lifts her in the air, choking her for a good five seconds, then drops her back down and reapplies the elevated hammerlock.} [Heather]: Look at the strain on Madeline's face ... that arm has taken incredible punishment ... she's nodding to the referee! {The referee does his best to get Tori to release the hold, as Alan Kinsmen enters with a microphone.} [Alan Kinsmen] Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match, by submission ... TORI JOOOOOOOOOHANNSEN!!! [Heather] Freechild's ring rust starting to show just a tad, though she gave Tori a VERY tough match. [Kyle] {snort} Yeah, it'll take her weeks to get the taste out of her mouth. [Heather] (sigh} We'll be right back with Mississippi Kid versus Maurice Jackson in just a moment ... ================================================================= COMMERCIAL BREAK ================================================================= {Camera fades into view of the ring, where announcer Alan Kinsmen is beginning his spiel.} [Alan Kinsmen] Ladies and gentlemen, our next bout is set for one fall ... the first competitor weighs in at two-hundred and forty pounds, from Jackson, Mississippi ... he is the Master of the Northern Lights Suplex ... MAURICE ... JACKSON!!! {"Here I come to save the day ..." rings loud over the PA, the opening words to the "Mighty Mouse" anthem which accompanies Maurice's entrance ... he stops at the aisle curtains, looking upwards with a *very* grim-faced expression, before stalking his way down to the ring.} [Alan Kinsmen] And his opponent tonight ... weighing in at one-hundred and seventy pounds ... from the city of Columbus, Mississippi ... he IS the AWI Light Heavyweight champion ... the MISSiSSIPI KID!!! {"Mississippi Kid" (what else?) by Lynyrd Skynyrd replaces Mighty Mouse, and the crowds begin to cheer as the Kid jogs down to the ring, taking a lap around the ring before hopping up on a turnbuckle and calling for a mike.} [Mississippi Kid] Fans of the AWI, how y'all are? {An enthusiastic reply indicates that the AWI crowd is doing just dandy.} [Kid] Glad to hear it. {pointing to Maurice Jackson in the ring} And how are you? Good, good. Look here, Space Cowboy ... um, Maurice (Kid whistles *wheeee wooooo*) for the life of me I just can't seem to find a reason to dislike you. A lot of these fellers in the back don't need a reason to come lay a whooping on another guy. But you see, I'm not the cleverest fox in the hen house. I'm not the vindictive sort, my pappy saw to that. I've got to have a reason. I mean, you're from Mississippi, I'm from Mississippi. Heck, we're neighbors. Even though you've got a dang close sounding Yankee nickname in "Mr. Northern Lights Suplex", that didn't get my dander up none. Then I reckoned, what if he was a State man? Why that would be plenty of reason to get in there and knock some good old Ole Miss learnin' in him. So Maurice, no hard feelings ... but we've got to tend to some hometown business. {He drops the mike, hopping into the ring, and the two men square off. Jackson opens up with a fake lunge, before catching the Kid with an armdrag; he then locks an armbar on the Kid. The Kid nails Maurice with an elbow in the face, then gets to his feet and slams him down with a neckbreaker.} [Heather]: And the Mississippi Kid off to a good start, with a riveting impact maneuver! [Kyle]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, why don't you just go and start playing his alma mater fight song while you're at it -- I believe it was MAURICE JACKSON who scored first blood in this match, sister. {The Kid climbs to the second turnbuckle, and jumps off with a legdrop. The Kid stands up, pulling Maurice with him, and fells Jackson with an enziguiri kick, before climbing to the top turnbuckle.} [Heather]: The Mississippi Kid heading for higher ground ... {As Maurice stands, the Kid jumps off with a flying bodypress, but Jackson kicks out before the referee can make a count.} [Heather]: SOARING attack by the Kid -- but no count! {Jackson hits the Kid with a headbutt from the mat, and gets to his feet, but the Kid sends him back down with a standing dropkick. Getting up, he drops a fist on Jackson, but Jackson rolls out of the way.} [Heather]: Ouch! The Mississippi Kid takes the risk, and gets a compacted wrist for his trouble ... what's this? {The camera cuts to show Kerry Masters walking down the aisle, carrying a Polaroid camera and a wirebound notebook.} [Kyle]: Oh, for pity's sake -- what is HE doing here? [Heather]: Well, from the looks of it, I'd say he's preparing to scout out this match ... a competitor of Kerry's level is bound to have a professional interest in both of these exceptional light heavyweight talents ... [Kyle]: Hey, move your level on Kerry a little higher, sister, you'll short out the microphones. The most useful thing Kerry can study in this match is how to be a REAL wrestler, like Maurice Jackson! {Jackson gets up and kicks the Kid; the Kid returns with a knee lift as Jackson closes, and swings him into a neckbreaker. The Kid picks him back up and whips him to the ropes, rebounding from the opposite side; Jackson catches the Kid with a clothesline as they meet.} [Heather]: The Kid picking up the pace -- and Jackson stops him in his tracks! {Jostling sounds are heard off-camera, and the camera switches quickly to "The Awesome One" Kerry Masters sitting at the announcer's table.} [Kerry Masters]: And we see yet another incredible display of his texbook technical skills ... the Greco-Roman Clothesline!!! I'll have to watch for that after my advisors decide it's a good time to embarrass the Eighth Dwarf ... [Kyle]: Hey! Go buy a ticket, you freeloader! [Heather]: Hush, Kyle, you're outvoted ... {The Kid pulls down Jackson with a single-leg takedown from the mat; he stands up, and falls into a senton, but Jackson rolls out of the way.} [Heather]: Quick recovery by the Kid -- and Jackson just as fast to recover! {Jackson kicks him in the back, then drags him to his feet, and throws him hard with a belly-to-belly suplex.} [Heather]: HIGH impact suplex from Jackson! [Kyle]: It's only logical: to become the MASTER of the Northern Lights suplex, Maurice Jackson had to make a rigorous study of ALL forms of suplexes ... he's practically a D.S.S. ... [Heather]: D.S.S.? [Kyle]: Doctor of Suplex Science ... [Masters]: Whatever you call it ... you can't take away from Jackson that he's developed some great wrestling skills ... of course, if could develop a sense of humor ... maybe develop a personality ... develop about six inches of height ... maybe-- HELLO!!!! {More jostling is heard as TAOKM leaves the announcer's desk and starts heading around the ring.} [Kyle]: Where the heck is he-- oh, well, at least he's not HERE ... {Jackson pulls the Kid up to his feet again, and DDTs him; following this, Jackson locks on a leg grapevine hold.} [Heather]: Jackson choosing to slow down the pace of the match now, wearing on the Kid's leg ... [Paul]: Well, I see where Kerry took off to ... {The camera cuts to show Kerry "taking notes" on a voluptuous fan in the front rows, apparently exchanging an autograph for a phone number.} [Paul]: I guess he IS scouting -- girl scouting ... {The Kid breaks out of the hold; Maurice headbutts him, and pulls him to his feet. The Kid fells Maurice with an enzuguiri, then picks him up and whips him to the ropes. Rushing to the opposite ropes, the Kid rebounds only to be caught with another clothesline from Maurice.} [Kyle]: You know, people, it's this kind of inbred learning curve that keeps Mississippi from putting anything on the map. [Heather]: I think we can keep that kind of comment of this show-- [Kyle]: I hear someone asked the Kid what his favorite flavor was, and he said "Mississippi Mud" -- only he wasn't thinking of ice cream. [Heather]: KYYYLE!!! {Maurice picks up the Kid, who jumps up and takes him down with a flying mare; pulling Jackson up to his feet, the Kid rolls him in a small package pin, but Jackson kicks out before the count. The Kid gets to his feet, and sentons Jackson.} [Kyle]: Mississippi wrestling has a long and deep heritage in the techniques of falling backwards on an opponent ... why, the Kid's own father taught him that move while stumbling in the homestead late at night after too much hooch and moonshine-- [Heather]: KYLE! {The Kid drops a fist, but Jackson rolls out of the way.} [Kyle]: I'm just doing my job here, Heather -- believe you me, nobody in this box knows Mississippi wrestling like I do. [Paul]: Yeah, you were at the business end of so much of it during your FWA days ... [Kyle]: (*cough*) Well, I wouldn't say tha-- [Paul]: Didn't the Mississippi Queen once-- [Kyle]: Just LOOK at that powerful cranium breaker from Maurice Jackson! [Heather]: It's a headbutt, Kyle. {Maurice grabs the Kid and belly-to-belly suplexes him. As both men get up, Jackson kicks him; the Kid answers with a drop kick. The Kid climbs the second turnbuckle, and jumps off with a leg drop.} [Heather]: The Mississippi Kid flying off with a high aerial maneuver -- NO! Jackson out of the way again! [Kyle]: That's what you get for trying to make a Mississippi move out of an Alabama trademark, kid! {Jackson locks an armbar on the Kid before he can rise.} [Paul]: What do YOU know about Alabama? [Kyle]: Same that I know about Mississippi -- they're both poorer than California. There's so much poverty in Mississippi, you can't even call 'em "dirt poor", because they made dirt the monetary standard. {The Kid escapes the hold, and both men get to their feet; Jackson gets behind the Kid and snaps him in a belly-to-back suplex.} [Paul]: You know, Kyle, I just thought about something. MAURICE is from Mississippi, too? Is he going to like all this stuff you're saying about his state? [Kyle]: Paul, my man, Maurice Jackson may have had the unfortunate fate of being *born* in the Mud State. But he's obviously raised himself ABOVE his roots, made himself MORE than a Mississippian -- which is to say, he knows how to read without moving his lips, and count without using his fingers. He's a man of no one state, but an AMERICAN, you can tell. {Kneeling beside the Kid as he stands, Jackson lifts him on his shoulders fireman's style, then slides him down to bounce off a knee.} [Paul]: How can you tell? [Kyle]: Easy -- HE'S WINNING! {Maurice picks up the Kid and irish whips him into a corner, then charges into the corner after him; however, the Kid rolls out of the way, and Maurice hits the turnbuckle.} [Kyle]: Ow, be careful, Jackson -- that drunken mudhen style is tricky! [Heather]: {SIGH} Maurice stunned from that near miss, as the Kid climbs to the top ... for THE OLE MISS KISS! {The Kid jumps off with a flying dropkick that hits Jackson square, then falls on top for the cover.} [Heather]: One ... two ... and Jackson kicks out! The Kid looks a little frustrated at that, but he's quick to recover -- with a small package rollup-- pin nazi! No count for him ... {Jackson breaks the rollup, and the Kid punches him, then climbs up the turnbuckles.} [Heather]: The Mississippi Kid taking to the air ... and there's the Ole Miss Ki-- [Paul]: Ighh -- no, Heather, I think that's just an old miss. [Heather]: Indeed, and Maurice is not going to allow him the time to recover ... Maurice has him in the corner now, and sits him on top -- he's looking to finish this match ... Jackson spots Masters!!! He's giving him an earful ... {Kerry Masters wanders over to the corner and steps on the ringside stairs, putting his Polaroid in the air and blinding Maurice with the flash as he takes a picture.} [Paul]: Say cheese! [Kyle]: What *I* want to say, they'll throw me off the show for! [Paul]: Oh, come on -- if they were gonna throw you off this show for saying the wrong thing, you'd have already gotten the boot. [Heather]: Maurice momentarily dazzled by the flashbulb from Kerry's camera -- and this time the Kid is not slow to act! {The Kid takes Maurice off the top with a bulldog lariat. He climbs up the turnbuckle again.} [Heather]: Maurice back on his feet -- FOR THE OLE MISS KISS!!! Third time may prove the charm for the Mississippi Kid ... one ... two ... THREE! No, wait, the referee is signalling -- that was just two ... [Paul]: Of course -- the second one missed, so this wasn't REALLY the third time, Heather. {Maurice headbutts the Kid from the mat, then picks him up while standing; he then delivers a fishermanbuster suplex.} [Heather]: CRASHING power maneuver from Maurice Jackson! [Paul]: I don't know if that was a Northern Lights Suplex, but I'm guessing the Kid is seeing SOME kind of lights now ... I just hope not the ones that are accompanied by dead relatives beckoning ... {Maurice stands the Kid back up, only to get felled by a dropkick.} [Heather]: Look at that spirit! The Kid just keeps fighting! [Kyle]: Come on, Heather, you can cut off a watersnake's head and it keeps moving for a while, too ... not that I'd draw ANY comparison between the Kid's family and the lesser vermin of their homeland river -- for one, snakes are smarter, and for another, /some/ snakes are actually *dangerous*, which has never been the case for a Mississippi-trained wrestler. {The Kid attempts a leg drop, but Maurice ducks aside. Jackson punches the Kid, and lifts him to his feet.} [Heather]: Jackson drawing his thumb across his throat -- AND THERE'S THE NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!!! [Kyle]: {mock tearful} It's ... it's beautiful ... [Heather]: Maurice bridges for the pin: 1 ... 2 ... THREE! MAURICE JACKSON HAS JUST BEATEN THE LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!! [Kyle]: Shame this wasn't a title match -- that belt would actually FIT a man like Maurice, instead of the Kid's scrawny waist ... ================================================================= COMMERCIALS ================================================================= {The camera opens to show Riverboat already in the ring, as the sounds of "Peace Sells" by Megadeth fill the arena.} [Heather]: We're ready for our next match, featuring the other half of the former Mississippi Mob, Riverboat! [Kyle]: No, you mean "also showing" Riverboat -- the FEATURE of this match is right there: Scott "Tank" Bradley, the man who took down Greg Gardner, the man who put Mike Piersall out of wrestling-- [Paul]: The man who went nighty-night in the ring with Jerry Straite. [Kyle]: The man who went night-- noooo, that never happened. It was a trick of photography. {As they reach ringside, Robbie grabs a microphone, and points to Riverboat in the ring, while Tank climbs inside.} [Robbie] Hey, Tank, check it out! ELVIS! Hey, got one question E ... How do you like your daughter marrying Michael Jackson? {Tank grabs Riverboat before he can respond to Robbie, and the two lock up in a collar-elbow tieup.} [Heather]: {sigh} Sometimes I think he's only in this sport because there's always a microphone in reach. {Riverboat gets the advantage, and whips Tank to the corner; he charges in after, but Tank moves aside and Riverboat hits the turnbuckle.} [Paul]: Yowch! I guess you'd say Riverboat just ran aground ... {Tank bounces off the ropes and hits Riverboat with a clothesline, but Riverboat keeps his feet.} [Heather]: Tank Bradley quick to capitalize with a heavy momentum maneuver -- but Riverboat stays even keel! {Riverboat bounces off the perpendicular ropes, and clotheslines Bradley, who also stays on his feet.} [Heather]: Riverboat giving as good as he gets -- and BRADLEY won't go down! [Paul]: Man, we get the War Machine in here, and they can just keep bouncing off each other all day ... {Riverboat then grabs Tank in a bearhug. Tank breaks the hug and headbutts Riverboat; Riverboat responds with a knee lift, then darts to the ropes, rebounding with a vertical bodypress that fails to down Bradley.} [Heather]: RIVERBOAT with a surprising agility maneuver -- but he fails to take down the big man! [Paul]: Heather, I hate to break this to you, but "the big man" won't cut it as a reference in this match ... [Heather]: Too true, Paul ... {Tank scoops up Riverboat before he can steady himself and bodyslams him.} [Heather]: And THAT took him down! POWERING pick-up slam from the man called Tank! {Tank drops to one knee to apply a half-nelson lock. Riverboat gets back on his feet, and hip tosses Bradley to the mat to escape the hold. He runs to the ropes, and attempts a vertical splash, but Tank rolls.} [Kyle]: {Elvis voice} Whoa! I done hurt mah swiveller! [Heather]: Don't even start. {Tank reapplies the half nelson; he lifts Riverboat to a kneeling position, completing a full nelson. He uses the hold to pick Riverboat up fully to his feet, then flexes it into a full nelson suplex, which he bridges for no count.} [Heather]: ANOTHER impressive power move from Tank Bradley ... [Kyle]: Heather, all of Tank's power moves are impressive. He's just an impressive guy! I'd go so far as to say that just his choice of wrestling boots is more impressive than Riverboat's whole career -- of course, that's not much of a compliment, but ... {Tank smacks Riverboat with a forearm, and pulls him to his feet; Riverboat picks him up and drops him on his knee, pressing with both arms to bend his back.} [Heather]: And now Riverboat has Tank locked in a painful backbreaker variation ... [Kyle]: You know, Riverboat learned this maneuver working as a loan collector for the Mississippi Mob. [Heather]: Kyle, I don't think that-- [Kyle]: He'd have been a legbreaker, only sometimes legs have dirt still stuck to them, so they'd be too valuable to damage. {Tank breaks out of the hold; Riverboat jumps into a vertical splash. He stands up Tank, who cuts him with a forearm shot, then scoops him up and dumps him over the top rope.} [Heather]: Oh, NO! Tank Bradley sends Riverboat crashing to the outside, and Robbie's right there closing in for the kill! [Paul]: Yeah, and this way Tank doesn't have to worry about getting hit HIMSELF with the Wicked Awesome Kick. {Robbie drags up Riverboat and waves his arms in a "kung-fu" fashion, but Riverboat shakes off his daze, picks Robbie up, and press slams him.} [Heather]: YES! Robbie gets in no kicks tonight! Riverboat showing him the value of keeping his hands -- and feet -- to himself! {He reenters the ring, and locks up with Tank in another collar-elbow tieup. Getting the advantage, he lifts Bradley into a backbreaker rack.} [Kyle]: "Give up the mud, punk, or I'll be back Friday!" {Bradley escapes, and Riverboat climbs the second turnbuckle while Tank stands up; he jumps off to catch Bradley with a bodypress, but Tank doesn't fall.} [Heather]: WHOA! Another aerial attack from Riverboat -- and AGAIN Tank won't go down! [Kyle]: Earth to Boat, Earth to Boat: Boats Don't Fly! {Tank headbutts Riverboat, and scoops him up into a Canadian backbreaker.} [Heather]: Tank working Riverboat's back now ... [Kyle]: That's the trouble with being in the Mob -- there's always payback! {He grinds the hold three or four times, then throws Riverboat to the mat in a powerbomb and makes a cover: 1 ... 2 ... Riverboat manages to get a shoulder up. Tank forearms him, then drags him to the corner; he points to the top rope, and makes a breaking motion with his hands.} [Heather]: Uh-oh -- Tank's signalling for an end to this match ... {Tank sits Riverboat on the top rope, then stands on the second rope and scoops up Riverboat, then jumps off for a super tombstone piledriver.} [Heather]: AND THERE'S THE NAIL IN THE COFFIN!!! [Kyle]: {exaggerated pirate voice} Arrr, mateys, he be boatin' in Davy Jones's locker now ... [Heather]: Tank makes the cover ... ONE ... TWO ... THREE!!! [Alan Kinsmen] Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match ... SCOTT ... "TANK" ... BRAAAAAADLEY!!! ================================================================= COMMERCIAL ================================================================= {The camera cuts to show Jade Tiger performing some odd pre-match ritual in the dressing room ... what exactly he's doing, no one can figure out, but it seems to entail candles, splashing water out of a ceramic bowl, and long brushstrokes of characters on a sheet of rice paper mounted on the wall. After several audible breaths, Jade Tiger screams at the top of his lungs and turns to the camera, beads of sweat running down his bald head in salty rivulets of toil.} [Jade Tiger] Ker-ry {said in a sing-song tone} Masters ... I once had great hope in you. I once believed you had transcended your soft upbringing, but alas the corruption was too great. Ker-ry, the how you say? Awesome One?! HA! There are those that proclaim themselves great and those that earn the accolades through rigorous devotion at the Celestial Temple. Not surprising that you took the lazy American way. Boresome One, you are a very unlucky man. You see, I am a man of peace. I do not advocate violence {a mocking sneer creeps across his hardened face}, but the people have seen the great injustices done to me, and I have no choice but to retaliate. Ker-ry, Steve the Insane has done you a great disservice -- he has awakened the sleeping Tiger. No more will I be a victim of the barbaric Western ideal that chooses to mistreat its wizened population. When the gong sounds, the echo of ferocity follows. ================================================================= >>RING<< {Masters opens with a dropkick, followed by a leg lariat as Jade Tiger stands; he attempts a somersault legdrop, but Tiger rolls.} [Kyle]: Kerry Masters has no idea of the can of worms he's opened right here ... you know what an incredible talent Robbie Stevens, a 102nd degree black belt in kung fu, karate, and ninjitsu is {Kerry recovers with a shot to Jade's eyes, and locks him in an armbar, lifting him to his feet; Jade kicks his way out of the hold.} [Kyle]: ... well, Jade Tiger here is the master of his temple, an originator of the martial arts, above all belts and ranks! [Paul]: And how much is he paying you to say that? {Crystal Crow makes his way down to the ring, carrying a familiar looking briefcase.} [Heather]: I was wondering where he was ... the Crystal Crow arriving to back up his master, and bringing with him the physical reminder of the $25,000 price Jade Tiger has placed on Steve the Insane's head ... {Jade Tiger delivers a karate chop, but Kerry puts him back in the armbar, then single-arm DDTs him.} [Paul]: ... and now Kerry places a load of mat on Tiger's head! [Heather]: Actually, Paul, I think he's wrenching the arm and shoulder with that maneuver more than the head ... but it's a great technical weapon no matter how you slice it ... {Kerry climbs to the top turnbuckle, waits for Jade to stand, and leaps off with a dropkick, but Jade ducks out of the way.} [Kyle]: Brilliant use of the Emerald Fire Dance technique ... [Paul]: You spent last night watching Samurai Theater, didn't you? [Heather]: Oh, my GOD -- quick, can we get a camera at the entrance?! >>AISLE<< {Steve the Insane is carrying a gasoline can -- currently still capped -- and a thick stick with a rag wrapped around one end, already lit like a torch.} [Kyle]: {gasping} I ... I thought he was /joking/ ... [Heather]: Steve the Insane is coming down the aisle, with the silent determination of-- [Kyle]: OF A FLIPPING MADMAN! HE'S GONNA SET THE BUILDING ON--MMMMMPH! [Paul]: Shhh! You can be *arrested* for saying that word in a crowd! >>RING<< {Jade Tiger picks up Kerry and gouges his eyes with both hands, but Kerry swipes his hands away and rakes /his/ eyes, then DDTs him.} [Paul]: Okay, NOW he's smacking the head! {He jumps into a somersault legdrop while Tiger is down.} [Heather]: I think ... I think that's Joe Walker running out now, looking like he's trying to intercept Steve ... [Kyle]: Just tell me he's not carrying the kindling ... {Jade Tiger kicks Kerry away from him, begins to stand, but sees Steve the Torchwaving and ducks out of the ring on the opposite side.} [Heather]: Jade Tiger spots Steve -- and he wants NONE of that! Curtis Keyes apparently unsure of exactly how to interpret this situation -- while technically Jade Tiger should be taking a count, he has EVERY reason to want to stay as far from Steve as possible! [Kyle]: The heck with Tiger! *I* want to get away from Steve! Where are the fire exits in this box? [Heather]: Jade Tiger and Steve faking back and forth around the ring ... [Paul]: Just like a squirrel hiding around a tree ... >>RINGSIDE<< {Joe manages to catch up with Steve; grabbing his wrist, he starts to talk, though they're not close enough to a camera to hear.} [Heather]: Joe Walker apparently trying to reason with Steve right now, as the Tiger risks reentering the ring ... >>RING<< {Jade Tiger manages to cut off Kerry with a karate chop before he can attack. He rakes the eyes again, but Kerry counters with a kick to the shins, and a DDT.} [Paul]: Those shots to the eyes just seem to make Kerry MAD ... [Kyle]: Maybe it's because he's afraid he won't be able to see a mirror clearly after the match ... [Heather]: Oh, no -- the plot thickens ... >>AISLE<< {The camera cuts to show Doug Abercrombie making his way down to the ring; he starts mouthing off at Steve and Joe, who have worked their way to the intersection of the ringside and aisle.} [Heather]: "Mr. Excitement" himself has decided to get involved now -- oh, lord, I think he's making comments about Angela! And Steve does NOT look pleased! He's -- LOOK OUT!!! {Weasle hops over the railing from within the crowds and smashes Steve in the back of the head with a baseball bat while he's distracted by Doug.} [Heather]: I should have known! Where Doug Abercrombie goes, Weasle is never far behind -- and Steve takes a hard shot from Louie, knocking him to the floor! [Kyle]: What are YOU complaining about? Weasle's a hero! He just saved the lives of everyone here! Especially me! >>RING<< {Kerry does a somersault legdrop, then climbs the top turnbuckle, allowing Jade to stand; he leaps off with a flying thrust kick.} [Heather]: Kerry again going for the high risk maneuvers -- and it's the AWESOME AERIAL ATTACK! He makes the cover ... 1 ... 2 ... thr-- Jade Tiger manages to throw him off, just barely! >>RINGSIDE<< {Camera cuts back outside, to show Doug smashing Steve in the head with a "borrowed" chair from the crowd, while Joe picks up the gasoline can Steve dropped and hits Weasle with it.} [Heather]: And we've got a four-man streetfight outside the ring now! {Doug turns around to swing the chair at Joe, but he knocks it aside with the gascan, and puts a roundhouse kick in Doug's gut.} >>RING<< {Kerry applies an armbar, and lifts Jade to his feet, then single-arm DDTs him. Kerry picks the Tiger back up and throws him to the ropes; as Jade rebounds, Kerry snares him in a hurricarana, kneeling on top for a pin, but the Tiger kicks out before the referee can make a count.} [Heather]: Kerry with a HARD hurricarana! [Kyle]: Hurri-hell! That was a Tiger's Pounce! He's trying to win by OFFENDING the Jade Tiger into having a heart attack! DISQUALIFY KERRY! >>RINGSIDE<< {Joe Walker picks up Weasle.} [Heather]: Joe Walker with a hard sternum punch on Weasle -- he grabs Doug, and delivers more of the same! Both men are down, and Joe and Steve -- where's Steve? [Kyle]: He must have ran off when he realized his lady love only has eyes for Abercrombie ... [Paul]: Uh, no -- I think I see him back at ringside ... and he's got his toys back! >>RING<< {Jade Tiger pokes Kerry in the eyes, gets to his feet, and toe kicks him in the crotch.} [Kyle]: Walking the Generations step ... {Jade then delivers a quick pair of karate kicks to the ribs.} [Kyle]: ... which flows naturally into Tiger Swims the River! [Paul]: Are you calling a match, or reading fortune cookies? >>RINGSIDE<< {Steve's trying to hit the ring, but Crystal Crow intercepts him, smacking him with the briefcase.} [Paul]: Interesting tactic -- he uses the money to try and earn the money ... [Heather]: That hit AWFULLY hard for any kind of money, unless it's filled with gold bullion! [Kyle]: Sure -- haven't you heard of hard currency? >>RING<< {Kerry responds to the martial arts barrage with a savate kick of his own.} [Paul]: Uh ... that's ... Chopstick Crossing the Celestial Throne! [Kyle]: No, that's a lame thrust kick. {He picks up Jade Tiger and whips him to the ropes, lifting him into a stungun on the ropes when he returns.} [Heather]: Kerry picks up Tiger, and just CHOPS his neck on the ropes! And the Jade Tiger looks nearly out of it! >>RINGSIDE<< {Crow attempts to hit the floored Steve with the case again, but Steve catches the case and quickly pushes it up into Crow's face, knocking him down.} >>RING<< {Inside, Kerry makes a cover: 1 ... the Tiger gets a hold of the ropes, and the referee calls for a break. Kerry locks Tiger into a spinning toehold from the mat, then twists it into a standing figure 4.} [Heather]: Masters shifting gears, attempting a submission leglock ... [Kyle]: Oh, no ... that's it, I'm getting out of here {sounds of jostling} >>RINGSIDE<< {Steve takes a moment to relight the rag with a Bic in his jeans pocket. A number of AWI stadium attendants can be seen filtering into the area.} [Heather]: Security is finally making their way to ringside to deal with Steve, though that may prove easier said than done ... Jade Tiger's got the ropes, and Kerry's going to have to break the hold ... [Kyle]: {more jostling} Well, as long as SOMEONE's dealing with that nutcase, I can stick around ... is there an extinguisher in this booth? >>RING<< {Kerry climbs the turnbuckle as Jade Tiger gets to his feet.} [Heather]: Kerry apparently set on making the ropes work FOR him this time instead of for Tiger ... {Kerry jumps off to catch Tiger in a flying sunset flip.} [Heather]: -- AND THERE'S THE AWESOME ENDING!!! [Kyle]: I can think of exactly TWO things wrong with that name, baby ... [Heather]: One ... Two ... Three-- NO! Jade Tiger kicks his way out at just the last second! [Kyle]: One, it never ends ANYTHING -- and two, that means it just isn't that awesome, is it? Now, a TIGER'S POUNCE -- and I mean a REAL one, not the pansy version Kerry tried to Elizabeth his opponent just now -- that's REALLY awesome! {Kerry recovers quickly from the kickout, and grabs Tiger's legs, spinning into a scorpion deathlock.} [Heather]: Kerry Masters into a tight submission lock ... and he's got Jade Tiger solid and center in the ring this time! There's no one to help him, and nothing to save himself with! THERE IT IS -- JADE TIGER SUBMITS!!! [Kyle]: This isn't a *real* submission, Heather -- he's just asking for political asylum! How can he be expected to fight with a dozen maniacs on the outside of the ring? [Heather]: A DOZEN? Kyle, Steve the Insane is a man of impressive talent, but he's still just one man-- [Kyle]: Not him -- the /attendants/ -- those guys are MONSTERS ... just try bringing in outside food or beverages into this arena ... ================================================================= COMMERCIALS ================================================================= {Danny Boy McGill sits in his locker room in a folding chair. He wears jeans and a leather jacket and a AWI Danny Boy McGill t-shirt. He looks into the camera.} [DBM] This t-shirt says a lot. {He pulls another one out of his bag and holds it up for the camera and reads it} "Danny Boy McGill, The Next Generation is here." Granted, I'm only 19 years old, but I'm a former World Champion. Yet I still get treated as the kid on tour with the AWI. Well this "kid" has taken quite a few of the legends of this sport to school. Remember Showtime? I beat him so he's not even IN the AWI anymore. Yet I'm still "The Next Generation". Maybe that explains why I'm not taken seriously when I say I deserve a shot at getting the title back. "Oh, you're just a kid Danny." That's what they tell me, "You've got plenty of years to get the title back." It doesn't matter how many years I have in front of me, it's what I deserve now. I wasn't just handed the spot as the number two ranked wrestler in this league, I had to fight for it. And people still won't respect me. I'll tell you what, I'm almost 20 now, and I'll promise you, I'm gonna get that shot at the World Title, and it will be back around my waist. I'll fight my way back to the shot, and Smith, it starts with you tonight! The AWI is back, and so is Danny Boy McGill, the future, IS NOW!! {Fade out as McGill tosses the shirt at the camera.} ================================================================= [Kyle] {forced whiny voice} I'm almost 20 now! That means that I'm almost sorta kinda close to being a real man, in a way! {normal voice} Can you believe that snot? Here's a clue for you, Danny BOY -- you want people to stop taking you like a kid, stop begging for handouts like one! He practically gets handed the belt gift-wrapped for a birthday present thanks to demonstrably biased officiating, and he thinks he's ready to hang with "legends" ... and he's apparently ready to consider Rictor Showtime, who while MONDO cool was frankly just a rookie, for one of those "legends", which gives you a hint as to where Danny Boy stands in the greater scheme of things. [Paul] I'd say he stands somewhere between Lord Thomas Imperious and John Robertson, in our title lineages. [Kyle] Hey, Paul, do you know what they call those worms that infest livers? [Paul] A fluke? [Kyle] NOW you can be a sports analyst! [Heather] {sigh} Let's go to the ring ... ================================================================= [Alan Kinsmen] Ladies and gentlemen, our MAIN EVENT for tonight is set for one fall, with a time limit of ten minutes ... the first competitor weighs in at two hundred and thirty-four pounds, and hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania ... he is currently one half of the WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS ... accompanied to ringside by his partner, "Stretcher" Mike Kirwan, this is ... "Asylum" ... John ... Smith! {The crowd boos intensely (fittingly) as Intensive Care makes their way to ringside, accompanied by the sounds of emergency sirens and flashing hazard lights.} [Alan Kinsmen] His opponent for tonight ... weighing in at two-hundred and thirty-five pounds ... from the city of Dublin, Ireland ... DAAANNNYYY BOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYY MCGILL!!! {The energetic sounds of Chumbawumba's "Tubthumper" cues up on the PA, and the crowd politely and delicately goes completely hog-wild. Danny Boy trots down to the ring with a confident expression, waving and slapping hands with the fans.} [Kinsmen] Your referee for this match is Curtis Keyes. {The two men cinch together in a collar-elbow tieup. McGill gets the advantage, and puts Asylum on the mat with a single-leg takedown, holding the leg to apply a spinning toehold.} [Kyle]: Oooo, good tactic, trying for the submission -- NOT! Don't you read the papers, Danny? THIS MAN LIKES PAIN! YOU'RE MAKING HIM HAPPY!!! {Asylum kicks McGill to break the hold, then rolls to his feet and punches Danny; Danny hits the mat, using a drop toehold on Smith.} [Paul]: That's good then ... Asylum's happy because he's in pain, and Danny Boy's happy because Asylum can't thump him when he's facedown on the mat ... {Smith breaks that hold, and Danny puts him in another spinning toehold.} [Heather]: Danny Boy fighting a good solid pace, working that leg to weaken it for the McGill leglock ... {Asylum breaks the hold, and Danny puts on a half nelson; after a few seconds, he completes a full nelson. Asylum breaks out, and punches Danny. He stands up, pulling Danny with him, then takes him to the mat with a hurricarana.} [Kyle]: Leg's still working fine from where *I* sit, Danny Boy! {Danny brings John to the mat as well with a drop toehold. Asylum escapes, and punches Danny; standing up, he pulls Danny to his feet, and whips him into the ropes. Smith then bounces off the opposite side to rebound with a leg lariat. He climbs to the top turnbuckle, and jumps off with a flying fist drop.} [Heather]: Asylum taking to the air again -- and landing hard on Danny's midsection with that cast-like orthopedic glove ... I can't believe they let this man WRESTLE with it! It's like a pair of brass knuckles! [Kyle]: You want in on a little secret, Heather? [Heather]: Uh-oh ... {Asylum picks up Danny Boy and backs him in the corner; Danny pulls him down with a single-leg takedown, and Asylum responds by kicking him in the face.} [Kyle]: I have my sources ... and word has it, everyone may fear that glove ... but it's really just PADDING. All those years of mutilation, abuse, breaking the bones and rehealing only to break them again, have turned Asylum's fist into a hardened club of fused bone and toughened scar tissue ... they don't LET him wear it, they MAKE him wear it -- so he doesn't put people out for good! {Asylum drags Danny back up, and throws him through the ropes.} [Heather]: Oh NO! Danny Boy takes a roll on the mats outside, as Asylum is climbing the top ... surprisingly, Mike Kirwan not harassing Danny Boy while he's still stunned ... [Kyle]: It's called "landing clearance", Heather ... [Heather]: OH, JESU-- Asylum takes off from the top, and connects with a DRIVING hurricarana! I -- I think Danny Boy is bleeding! [Paul]: Ugh -- this is starting to become a habit of his ... [Kyle]: Yeah, John's going to have to change his name from "Asylum" to "Bloodmobile" -- bank of champions! [Heather]: PLEASE, Kyle ... {Asylum rolls Danny back into the ring, and climbs back onto the top turnbuckle.} [Heather]: John's not finished with Danny Boy yet -- the spinning fist drop!!! He hooks a leg ... one ... two ... THREE!!! [Alan Kinsman] Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match ... "ASYLUM" Jooooooooohn Smiiiiiiiiith!!! [Heather]: And Intensive Care's more intensive half walks out with a win, but that's hardly the fans' biggest concern right now ... the medical personnel are in the ring with Danny Boy now--he VERY well may have a concussion! [Kyle]: So, this puts Danny Boy's magic number at ... um ... one more than it was before he opened his big Irish mouth? ================================================================= PROMOTIONAL CONSIDERATIONS PAID FOR BY THE FOLLOWING: * Rice-a-roni ... the San Francisco treat * AWI Explosion '98: Coming soon to N64 and Sony Playstation * Always the real thing, Always Coca-Cola ================================================================= [Heather] That's all the time we have for tonight ... I'd like to remind our viewers to be there this Sunday for International Incident: Contest of Champions -- if you're not already getting it, call your local cable operator and tell them you want the AWI on Pay Per View! For Paul Stone, Kyle Esprit, and Allied Wrestling International, this is Heather Rasputin saying "Good night!" ================================================================= Copyright (c) 1998 Allied Sports Entertainment Written by Bryant Berggren, in cooperation with Bryce Berggren and the handlers of Allied Wrestling International.