Blablover5's Take on
:::Shivers Uncontrollably:::
CHANGES
Well this is about last Sunday's T.V. movie for Animorphs. Actually, this is a letter I wrote to my firend, and it got a little lengthy so I decided to put it up. Um, the language is a little bit to be desired, but I get an interesting vocabulary when I'm mad. I still don't know why I watched it, but this is what happens on a cold snowy Sunday with nothing to do. You watch the MOVIE FROM HELL!
Well, on with the letter:

They had this made for TV Movie thing going on. And it made ZERO sense, and I'm not exaggerating. Somehow Tobias has his powers to morph back, (uh, did we miss something) and he's being chased by some painting of a hawk which at the same time is on the shiny disk which he now wears around his neck.

OKAY?!

Ax, still stomping around like a lunatic, has been visiting the mall and buying things. (Must've gotten a job at Cinnabon after all?) Well, Cassie and Marco follow him, why, because Cassie seems to think that he's been infested, hello, DUH! If he was infested you wouldn't be walking around free moron. Anywho, they follow him to a bomb shelter. And they find out that he's trying to build a space ship. Oh yeah, before all that happened Jake nearly became trapped as a monkey, which probably would have been an improvement, but who cares about that. Well, Ax's spaceship looks like something we would have built when we were three. PLUS, he has a seat in the middle of it. HELLO! Remember the little blue Andalite who runs around the woods. HE DOES NOT SIT DOWN! Anyway, everything goes bad, the ship blows up, but it stops a hypnotic tape from being distributed to the world. (I know, right about now I'm as lost as you are) Well, Victor Trent is out of the picture, instead they have some new guy that I kept confusing for Chapman. Oh is this the end of the movie from hell.
Nooooo!
While Ax and Tobias are wandering aimlessly around the mall, Rachel and Cassie are trying to convince Jake to go to the dance, although I'm still a little shaky on that scenario. Anyway, suddenly Cassie decides to break into some cosmetics place to do god knows what, but it all goes to hell in a hand basket. Hello you stupid moron get it through your thick skull, you can take everyone on a mission. DUH!

Well, Rachel and Marco show up. Why, I don't know? I was personally hoping for Jake to spend the rest of his days as a Monkey. Rachel shows up, and my stars, is she a grizzly bear? Well, Marco like an idiot morphs into a dog. Oh, scary, and then dimorphs in the woods. WHILE SOMEONE TAPES HIM! That's why Rachel and Jake (EW!) were at this TV station to get back the tape. Even more pointless plot crap. And then the next part switches over to Tobias, and what is he doing, why he's wandering around chasing after pretty painted birdies. And, oh in the beginning we see Marco holding onto a rabbit (Jake) as he tries to hit on girls. Well the rabbit starts to sneeze, or something like that, so Marco runs off. After Marco leaves the rabbit turns blue. What the hell? Is he an Andalite? Visser Three? Or did he just get a hold of some school food? Well another plot point is thrown in, we see that some Uh-Plumbers-uh claim that there's a gas leak in the -uh-basement-uh duh. But does anyone really suspect anything NO! Marco, being some bad rendition of Marco, sneaks into the basement as a lizard without telling anyone. Well he gets caught and stuck in a cage, good riddens. Anyway at the same time, we see Cassie giving Jake some Tux her grandfather wore to his wedding. JUST STOP TRYING! Anywho, the next scene is Tobias, in some secret club, still human, as weird people who claim to be past controllers talk about the Yeerks. First off, from the way that this one guy escapes, I don't think that the Animorphs are necessary. Hell, Elfangor could have probably taken the Yeerks out by mearly saying, "Look over there" Which brings me to the next plot crap. Tobias is told that he can't leave, duh, because then the Yeerks would find this stupid club of people who outsmarted them. I know that's a lot of people. Well, he's shown to some woman, who's supposed to be genius (then why is she hanging around with these losers, who also all happen to be kids?) and she connects Tobias' disk to the original think it was in and it starts to spin. So, why's it spinning now when it wouldn't before?

Anyway, moving on.
At this stupid dance called a Fling, King, DIng, I don't know something like that. Ax, for some unknown reason, rescues Marco, and he tells the Animorphs of the Yeerk plan to have all the kids at the dance fall into a Yeerk pool. Like that'd do anything. I think that they're trying to corner the dry cleaning industry. Well the Animorphs save the day with help from Cassie turning into a skunk. Whoa listen to my heartbeat. You'd think that I was doing some light typing.

Of course is this the end? NO! The worst and saddest mock of all time is yet to come. Sorry, to Tobias fans right now. Well, we find Tobias wearing some goggles, (was he holding onto the disk or not, oh it doesn't matter) and then he's in some swirly cloud place. ANd who's there with him. Our beloved Elfangor. Well, not our beloved Elfangor. Some dork who got lost in another dimension. He in some dorky way , like "I'm looking at him," tells Tobias he's his father. Blah, made me want to rip out book 23 and wash the horrible images out of my mind. Then, Elfangor tells Tobias that his Mother held the truth from him so he wouldn't be different. HELLO! I don't think so, if it would have been that simple Elfangor probably would not have left in the first place. Oh no! YOu will pay for that. But does he stop no, he continues to say that he came to Earth for one reason, his son. The son he never met. Last time I checked it was for his, duty, the time matrix, and Loren. I don't see son in there do you.
Oh yes they had the tear jerker, FATHER! The tears of pain and anguish at this abomination (and I'm not talking about Visser Three here) Well it all rolls up into some stupid ending with All of the Animorph dancing, (Including Ax and Marco. YUCK! ICK! Get out of my mind NOW!) Yeah it's over. Did I also mention the hairdo that Ax had to the dance. Okay, the blue tux was, um, we'll say cute to be nice, but let's not over do it with an afro. Not unless Ax had been licking outlets earlier. Well, that was the end of the movie, there was another bad episode on later, but I'm to spent to talk about it. 1