The Laughing Cow
Yes you've seen the advert and all I can say is lies lies (that’s a lie actually because I can also say
poo poo pee pee and ambidextrous)
Have you ever wondered what makes the laughing cow's cheese so popular or why the cow is
laughing or even about B.S.E well I know and know you shall too
When humans drink cheese it is part of sexual intercourse (well not really I just fouled up the 3rd
Word. of this paragraph but anyway)
When humans EAT the laughing cows’ cheese they have an urge to eat more and more,why is this
you ask?.......Ahem I said why is this YOU ask and you didn't say a word...go on say it, it won't
hurt go on say it,say it,say it, say it(please note if you say "IT" then I will hunt you down with a
pack of vegan minks who will nibble at your body and then spit bits out.That would teach you to
be a know it all bastard! You still haven't said it yet either(you know I wasn't kidding about the
mink who I feed on rice cakes and trebor mints)...go on say .....see that didn't hurt did it now
back to the stuff about cheese.Its on the next line by the way...I said NEXT BLOODY
LINE!!!......idiot
What took you so long?Now for the juicy secrets (again a lie they are quite dry actually)Well it's
because the secret ingredients are Arsenic and Cocane(spot the mistakes and win 5
pounds*)Thats why when the cheese is taken away people start to convulse and shake they are
dependant on it now after being brought up on cheese sandwiches.The real stinker though is the
you.
Arsenic so if you don't die of a dairy related overdosethen the accumilation of Arsenic will kill
I know you don't believe me but look around you tomorrow morning everyone will be bleary
eyed why?because they haven't had a creamy fix in over an hour they need it to survuve!It's all
part of the laughing cows plans for world domination the ony ones who are safe are the lactose
intolerent.The horrifying part is the cows identitity has been kept a secret anyone who got close
to knowing the bovine has mysteriously disappeared with only greasy brown stains left on the
carpet floor.
Even now i am being hunted by them...quit i can hear the hooves now,i must .. MOO MOO
MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhurk ow.
MOO MOO MOO .
*of rotting flesh