Bill and Ben Bill and Ben Bill and Ben the Flowerpot men
Camera pans round the garden showing a variety of plants and two conspicuous terracotta clay pots.However the scene is disturbed by the eager soft voice of the woman who shall be presenting the show….
"Hello everybody! Do you know what time it is?"
Incessant mumbling ushers from the crowd
"Yes it’s time for the flowerpot men"
Piercing theme music fills the room and two puppets appear from their pots.
"Hello Bill and Ben! Say hello to the children Bill and Ben"
"Flobidob flob flob"
"What are you doing today then you two?"
"Flob flob fibbi floby" shouts Ben with unerring vigour
"Oooooohhh doesn’t that sound interesting children"
"yyyyyeeeeeesssss" they say but interested only in the strange plastic device that one child found in his mothers’ cupboard.
"Hey look every one Bills got something in his pocket,what is is it Bill?take it out and show the children what you’ve got in your trousers today."
"That’s strange it looks like brown flower. Can anyone guess what it is?"
The kids are now completely engrossed with their new vibrating toy.
"It’s Rush" shouts one of the cameramen.
"Eer yes that happy dilatory drug,but can you please stop sniffing it now Bill it’s not really something you should be playing with."
"Flob flob ffflllllooooob uuuuuuummmmmmhhh"
"Oh look what Ben’s doing now he’s helping Bill to get his trousers off.Maybe Bill wants to go to use the potty.Gasp now he’s lost some money just bend down and get it for him Bill.Without it he can’t buy any sweets.Ben Why are you taking your trousers off you don’t need the potty too do you."
"Waaaaaaaaaahhhhh"the kids cry as the pager stops working.
"Ben WHAT are you doing with your finger ….that is your finger isn’t it?"
"flob flobi" squelch squelch "ooooooohhhhhhhhh"
AT THIS POINT THE SCREEN FADES TO BLACK AND THEN RETURNS…….
"Um it’s ok now they’ve stopped now kiddies and I hope it will never happen again."
"flob folb"Sips from glass
"Good"
"What is that your drinking Bill it looks like milk."
"flob"
"Aaaarrrrgggghhh that’s disgusting. I’ll make sure you two will never work again!"
Piercing theme music and screen fades to black to signal the end of the show.