Fire and Ice
Personal torture is the worst kind of all. Worse than fire, than needles, than pain sticks. Personal torture is the kind from which one can't escape - ever. Even with a trained counselor, it follows you wherever you go.
It never disappears.
I watch them - happy, laughing. I watch them form friendships, relationships. I see them forget what they are missing, the hardships we face everyday.
I watch them, and torture myself with lost dreams, lost chances, lost friends. I torture myself with responsibility, with organization.
I feel the fires, the needles, the pain sticks. I watch.
I can never forget.
*END*