Fire and Ice

Personal torture is the worst kind of all. Worse than fire, than needles, than pain sticks. Personal torture is the kind from which one can't escape - ever. Even with a trained counselor, it follows you wherever you go.

It never disappears.

I watch them - happy, laughing. I watch them form friendships, relationships. I see them forget what they are missing, the hardships we face everyday.

I watch them, and torture myself with lost dreams, lost chances, lost friends. I torture myself with responsibility, with organization.

I feel the fires, the needles, the pain sticks. I watch.

I can never forget.

*END*

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