One week and two days. One week and two days he'd been here and so far it had been worse than any hell he'd been through. He had known it was going to be bad, it was also a humiliating, humbling experience. And so far, it had been worse than anything he had expected. Early mornings, early nights, rotten food, and lousy company, and don't forget the beating he'd already received, but that had been part of his plan. He also planned on being on the other end of someone's fist a second time. A third time also if it was required. There were also other things that happened within these prison walls but he'd rather not think about them.

Everyone had kept telling him that he shouldn't do it, but did he really have a choice. He didn't believe that he did. His own team members would have supported him if he had said no but no one else would have. The main attacker would have been his own conscious. To know that he had allowed this to go on would have eaten away at his soul until there was nothing left. No, he had to do it, there hadn't been a choice, not for him anyway.

One of the victims had been an innocent man, wrongly convicted of child abuse. His sixteen year old daughter had lied because he wouldn't allow her to date a drug addict. She had just wanted him out of the way for a while. The man committed suicide by shooting himself in the head. He'd been raped and beaten for his crime, other prisoners wanted him to know what it felt like. The father had gotten a gun from someone. He thought there had been no other option. Four other men had also died as a result of a bullet wound, each of them had been killed by someone who needed some sort of protection. That was where the beating had come in. For him to be contacted he needed to prove to someone that he needed protection. Not a body guard but something that he could use to end the threat permanently.

It had been decided that one Ezra Standish was to go undercover within the prison to see if he could find the guilty party. The undercover agent had been loaned out to the ATF branch in Arizona, he wouldn't be known by any of the prisoners or guards. The only person who would know that he was an ATF agent was the warden, Jack Henly, a friend of Judge Orin Travis, who was also in town. The Judge held a personal stake in this operation, he had been the one to ask Ezra to go undercover. He wanted to make sure that his agent was taken care of. Travis also knew about the beating, he accepted it, as Ezra did, as part of the job. But if he thought the undercover agent was taking things to far he would step in and put an end to it. He had given Ezra four weeks, there were only two weeks and five days to go. He could also count the hours. An early-mark could happen if Ezra cracked the case open but he couldn't see that happening too soon.

Ezra knew that the others were out there. They were doing their own investigation. Vin had visited him twice so far, he was his contact on the outside. Vin had almost attacked one of the guards on the first visit, demanding to know what had happened to his friend, why his face was lined with bruises. The guards had just laughed at him and it took quite a few sensible words on his part to stop Vin from using physical force to get an answer. He had made the sharp-shooter promise not to tell Chris of his condition. If their quick-tempered leader found out then there would be hell to pay and the operation would be a failure. He would probably end up being suspended because it was his idea to take a beating in the first place. He had not been fully honest with his boss in regards to what his intentions were to get the information that was required to apprehend the culprit.

Vin had informed him of their lack of success on the outside. They had been in town for one week, Tucson, Arizona to be exact; his fellow team members had insisted on going with him. They had no contacts within this town, no informants to gain necessary information from. They were unable to learn who was supplying guns to the inmates of Tucson Prison.

Ezra had been woken fifteen minutes earlier by the sound of the cell doors opening. It wasn't a sound that you could get use to. He often wondered how the lifer's got through each day. A voice yelled at the inmates to rise and shine then line up outside of their cells. It was in a tone that told everyone that he didn't want to be here, that he'd rather be somewhere else. Ezra couldn't blame him, the weather had been perfect since the day he had arrived. Anywhere but here would be the place to be. Maybe he could talk the Judge into allowing him to stay for a while after the completion of the operation. He could get a suntan, get some sleep, and a few other things that sprang to mind. At the moment, sex wasn't one of them.

He made sure that he was ready. The guards in this hell hole didn't own a conscience, they didn't hesitate in using the clubs that they carried. Ezra had learnt that lesson on his first day. He still had the bruise that covered his right upper arm but it was fading fast. This wasn't the place for his smart mouth. He had to show the guards that he was weak, unable to take care of himself physically. It had to be an employee of the prison that was bringing in the weapons, visitors were searched. Employees could get in more freely.

The guard that came towards him was a fearful figure, well for others maybe but not Ezra. Six foot three, a solid chest with a stomach and thighs to match. It wasn't fat, it was muscle. Ezra wanted to knock the man flat on his butt and he knew he was quite capable of doing it. Jeffery Thomas took his job too seriously, he enjoyed the power it gave him. Ezra wanted to take that power away. The guard was the kind of person who would hit any prisoner for any reason. He had been the man that had inflicted Ezra's first bruise, plus a few more since that first day.

There were twenty men in his tank, five in each block. Some of the men could put the fear into the strongest of men, others were weaker. Two of them were punks. Ezra wanted to do something for them but he knew it was too late. Both men had been in prison for more than two years; the sexual rape of the two men had probably started on their first night in prison.

Ezra was positioned in the middle of the line that marched to the shower room. This was the thing he hated most of all. It didn't bother him to shower in front of other men, but it did make him sick to the stomach to know that there were men that stared at every inch of your body. Men who had turned to other men to satisfy their sexual needs when there was no one else. It was also a way to control the weaker men, to make themselves feel more powerful.

Wolf whistles were thrown, butt cheeks were slapped and the accidental touching of penis' happened quite often. It all happened to the two punks, the ones that couldn't protect themselves against the physical onslaught of men who weighed at least fifty pounds more than them. So far it hadn't happened to him, he didn't know how he would react if it did. He could retaliate while there wasn't a guard watching them, make the person regret that they had ever attempted to take him, but only if it was one on one. Ezra knew it could happen, no-one was safe. Even the stronger men could be outnumbered, subdued, they wouldn't be able to stop it. It was something that he rather didn't happen. Ezra wasn't the type of person who thought, 'it won't ever happen to me'. His job changed that attitude. Through most of his working life he had faced death as well as other physical forms of injury. He had accepted it, if he didn't, he wouldn't be able to do his job. And he loved his job, it was his life. His life had died in the FBI but Chris Larabee allowed it to be reborn within the ATF. Ezra had been grateful for the opportunity and Chris had earned his utmost loyalty, trust and respect.

Once they reached the showers the men separated into groups. Friends showered together, men that wanted to admire certain bodies followed their subjects to the shower stalls. Ezra had picked up a few admirers in the last few days but his cold stare kept them from attempting anything. How long was that going to last, he didn't know. He showered quickly then removed his physical person from the sight of men who literally made him feel ill. A lot of things in this place made him sick. Other prisoners had the same idea and soon the outer area of the shower rooms were full. He could hear noises coming from the shower rooms as other prisoners filled the now empty stalls. He wasn't surprised at all that some of these men had resorted to murder and suicide to protect themselves. After dressing in clean but very unfashionable clothing he moved onto the cafeteria with the other nineteen prisoners in his group.

Again he was in the middle of the cue, he didn't mind. The sight of the food made him feel sick again, he couldn't understand why they fed this crap to the prisoners. Ezra turned when the man behind pushed against him, the hardening penis had rubbed up against his buttocks. It happened, this was the first sexual contact that had been made towards him. Ezra's heart sank into the pit of his stomach but then his anger took control and he glared at him until the man backed away. This particular Neanderthal was in for first degree murder but that didn't deter Ezra from trying to protect himself. It wasn't the prisoners he was trying to con, it was the guards.

Actually he didn't care what they fed them, not when they were like this person, but did he, an ATF agent working undercover have to eat this shit. When this was over, Judge Travis was going to recommend the best restaurant in town, then pay for the expensive dinner. Steak, covered with a tomato paste and melted cheese, potatoes smothered in butter, carrots that were cooked in a mixture of water and honey. His thoughts and taste buds were interrupted by the man who had pushed him. This time the man nodded at Ezra to move on.

"If you want me to continue then just say so, or are you incapable of human speech." Ezra strained his neck to stare into the dull eyes of the man who stood over him.

The Neanderthal blew him a kiss and in return Ezra grimaced in disgust. He would have preferred to bring his knee up into the man's groin, and then once he was doubled over, the same knee would then slam into the unprotected face, breaking the nose in the process, a few solid blows to the right kidney would then have the man pissing blood for a week. Instead he took a step backwards and turned around. His green eyes saw Jeffery Thomas standing guard at the end of the que. The prison guard was laughing at him. Ezra kept his features neutral and moved to an empty table.

Ezra stared at what was supposed to be breakfast. Scrambled eggs, he could force that down. Oatmeal, four mouthfuls and that was enough. Dry toast, he was only given one slice. Black coffee, he couldn't stand it. But he needed the caffeine, if he didn't get it, he would end up suffering from a serious withdrawal headache. He would leave the coffee till last, it would wash down the foul tasting food. Ezra had been taking turns, every second day he would finish with the coffee, for obvious reasons and every other day he would finish with the toast to get rid of the taste of the coffee. Vin had promised to supply him with his favourite type of coffee when he walked out the front gate.

When Ezra had finished the four spoonfuls of dry porridge, Kyle Lawden sat down opposite him. Ezra looked up and smiled a greeting at the young man. His age would be very close to JD's. The boy was skinny and good-looking, just the way they liked them. He had already suffered during the first three months of his jail term and he still had eighteen months to go. Kyle had taken a liking to Ezra, not in any sexual way, but as a friend. Kyle Lawden didn't have any of those in prison. Ezra was his first.

"Hey Larry." Kyle usually kept his head down and his mouth shut but not with Ezra. There was something about the man that sat across from him that made him feel safe. He knew that when it came right down to it that he would never be safe, not in this place.

"How you doing today Kyle?" Ezra's concern was genuine, hell if JD had taken the wrong turn, he could have been in the same position as Kyle was now in. And all because he had stolen a couple of cars.

"Didn't have a good night last night." Kyle admitted without looking into the green eyes that were watching him.

"How many?" Ezra asked him.

"Four."

"Jesus Kyle, we're going to have to do something about this." Ezra growled.

"I'd be killed if I did Larry, I'll just have to put up with it until I get out." Kyle felt ashamed and powerless. He'd already attempted suicide but he was still here, so, obviously he had failed. He couldn't even kill himself. But at least he'd found someone that he could talk to, he wasn't alone anymore. He knew Larry Doherty couldn't help him but he could be his friend, the only one he had in this hell hole.

"If that's what you want Kyle." Ezra returned to his breakfast, it was time to start on the eggs. "Weren't too rough were they?"

"No, Pete and Jeffery kept an eye on things. But rough or not, it's still the same."

Ezra looked up into the shameful expression that was being worn by Kyle. Ezra silently prayed to Josiah's god that he never went through what this man did nearly every night.

The silence between the two men was deafening. Two weeks and five days to go, then he could leave. Kyle Lawden couldn't. There wasn't anything Ezra could do to get him out of this hell. He could get him transferred to another prison but hell would be there too.

Ezra thought about the day ahead, the physical labour was difficult, he wasn't used to it. He had always worked using his mind and not his muscles. Yes he worked out regularly, he jogged every second day but the physical labour used different muscles. Ones that weren't used to working so hard for eight hours a day. He wasn't looking forward to it. The day was going to be warm, the heat would be suffocating in the laundry. That was what he had gotten stuck with. They had agreed it was the best place for him to be.

Ezra exchanged his oatmeal for Kyle's piece of toast. For some reason the young man was able to eat the lumpy food that wasn't really fit for an animal. But then people his age ate almost anything. He knew JD did. Ezra shifted uncomfortably when the Neanderthal sat next to him. The man had been watching him from another table and now moved closer. He'd gotten the courage to disregard Ezra's non-verbal warning. Ezra reacted in a way he normally wouldn't, guards were watching. Unfortunately his reaction was going to give the murderer the wrong impression. The Southerner drank his coffee, nodded to Kyle then left the table. For some reason, Ezra didn't think it was going to be a good day.

Ezra had been correct in his assumptions. The sweat was already glistening on his face, both the back and front of the grey shirt he was wearing was soaked with sweat. Moisture lined the high barred windows and ran down the walls like miniature water falls. And it was only two hours into the working day. They didn't have a choice inside but he couldn't understand why people would do this sort of thing for a living. The next time Chris invited him to his ranch to help endure the physical labours required to prepare to run the weekend property he would say no, as he always did. What did his mother tell him, 'a gentleman does not debase himself by engaging in menial labour'. He thought that was it, sometimes he was glad he didn't listen to her. Other times he was grateful for her teachings, they had saved his and other lives on numerous occasions.

He suddenly stopped what he was doing, something was wrong. Prisoners had disappeared. His eyes quickly searched the area. He saw no-one; prisoners or guards. A noise caused him to turn. It was a familiar sound, not the voice but the activity. Ezra moved towards it making sure that he wasn't seen or heard by the culprits. His body hugged the overheating machinery as he glanced around the corner. One man, large enough to overcome his victim stood facing Kyle Lawden. Aw hell.

Kyle had told him about it, even went into detail once. The kid talked about it as though it was something he did everyday; a bit like going to the grocery store. But the look of fear and shame in the blue eyes told him that it wasn't. Ezra thought about turning away, walking back to where he was and allow the criminal event to continue. Even if he did stop it, it was only going to happen again later, it may also include a beating. Shit! Kyle was looking straight at him. There was no pleading, no cry for help, just an understanding that Ezra couldn't do anything to help him.

Ezra looked away and hung his head towards his chest. He had to do something, even though his success would be useless, probably making it worse, he had to stop it. He took a deep breath and stepped around the large commercial dryer.

"Walk away Kyle." Ezra ordered him.

The Neanderthal spun around to face him. The face was first full of fear, then it became confident.

"You walk away, this ain't none of your business." he rubbed his groin in a show of power. "Your turn will come."

"Kyle. Go." Ezra stepped forward. The expression he wore caused the large man before him to hesitate.

Lawden still hadn't moved.

"Piss off punk. I changed my mind." Hauton. That was his name. "I might enjoy this one instead."

"Only thing you'll enjoy is the pain I'm going to cause you." Ezra smiled and Hauton shifted uncomfortably.

Hauton suddenly stepped forward, Ezra wasn't intimidated until the man began to smile at someone or something over his shoulder. He turned his head and he knew he was in a load of hell. Two men, both almost as large as Hauton stood behind him. Each of them carrying baseball bats. Where the hell did they come from. Ezra wasn't sure if the bats were just a show of force or were intended for use. He found out. The one on the right swung at him, the bat missed and slammed against the machinery that hid them. Ezra kicked out and his boot hit the man squarely in the jaw sending him backwards. A grunt of pain was his reward. It wasn't over yet.

Something pushed him from behind. His elbow shot out backwards and he heard something, it was his own pain. A hit to the kidney forced him to his knees. It wasn't a position he wanted to be in, he couldn't fight back. He had to get up. Fear started to burn through him, he knew what was going to happen if these men gained control of his body. Panic caused him to fight blindly. He threw his head backwards, it only hit something that was soft. A stomach. A fist grabbed a handful of his brown hair and slammed his head against the metal it had been leaning against.

He fell even closer to the floor. His vision swam within a pool of approaching darkness. A slap to the face drove it away. Ezra looked up at the evil smile. He swallowed the bile that had began to rise into his throat. He tried to gain control of his mind. Ezra now knew how he would react. With suffocating fear, resulting in the inability to defend himself in the manner he was usually capable of. He couldn't fight back.

Ezra was forced onto his stomach. He struggled as he fought for his sanity and the control of his own body. A knee was placed on his back, a hand held his head down, the right side of his cheek scrapped the dirty floor. His legs were spread wide. He kicked as hard as he could but before he knew it the other two men were sitting on each limb. Each of them grabbed one of his arms and pinned them to the ground. A hand found it's way underneath him and pulled at the button on his trousers. He screamed, he couldn't help it. His head was lifted, it hit the floor with enough force to allow any strength he had left to leave him. The weight lifted from his legs, only to allow his trousers and underwear to be pulled from his body. He was now naked from the waist down.

Oh god no! Please no! Ezra heard the words echo through his skull, he had been incapable of voicing his fear. Not through any choice of his own, the fear constricted his throat. No sound could escape. The knee in his back shifted and he thought he had a chance. NO! NO! NO! his voice screamed when Hauton lay down on top of him. He could feel him shift against him, he wasn't sure what he was doing. He froze when he felt the hardening penis press against him. NO! This wasn't happening, it couldn't be. He struggled one last time. A fist hit his kidney a second time ending his attempts.

Pain erupted within him as Hauton entered him. Flesh was torn as the man filled him with his pulsating erection. A tear escaped from Ezra's left eye. The other tear was hidden. The man began to shift inside him, to thrust, in, out, in, out. The movements were slow at first, then they become faster and harder. Shame filled his inner being. His kidney received another blow. The muscles in his lower body tensed up with the pain. He heard a groan of pleasure and realised what had happened. The tightening of his muscles had raised the man's enjoyment. The movements became even faster and more violent.

Then it was over. Hauton withdrew from him. Ezra could feel the wetness that was left as a result. The heavy body moved off him. It was over. Another weight replaced it. Oh sweet Jesus! Not again. Please! Not again. There was even more pain this time. The man was brutal in his attempts. Hands gripped his hips and lifted him off the floor. The weight on his legs stopped the man from lifting him too high. The new position caused the man to go even deeper. The pain was unbearable. Ezra felt everything.

The third time was different. His mind and body were to numb to accept what was happening. He could see Hauton standing near them. The man was masturbating. Ezra wondered if he was going to have another go at the broken man on the floor.

Hauton withered in pleasure at the sight before him and his own growing erection. Doherty had been a virgin. The opening was tight, the canal small, he enjoyed every minute of the sexual encounter. Doherty was now his to do with what he wanted and he wanted more, but he knew the guards had only given them fifteen minutes. He groaned and collapsed to his knees. Haunted green eyes stared back at him. The mouth of his victim hung open, the dark moist area was inviting, he became even harder at the thought.

"Finish!" he demanded of the man that was struggling to orgasm. Hauton watched him shudder as he erupted. He wanted to do the same but it wasn't going to be by his own hand. "Turn him over! Now!"

They did as they were told, but they weren't gentle. Ezra felt himself being turned over. A hand grabbed at his penis. He shuddered in disgust and attempted to curl himself into a ball. Someone kicked him in the stomach.

"You do what we want or you're a dead man!"

Ezra didn't recognise the voice. He wasn't going to do as he was told though. He was pushed onto his back again and someone sat on his stomach. The erected penis rubbed against his chest. He watched as Hauton slowly made his way upwards, the white moisture dripping from the head that he knew was going to be forced down his throat. He knew what Hauton wanted. He wasn't going to do it.

Hauton leaned downwards, one arm on the floor to support himself, the other hand grabbed a handful of Ezra's hair and pulled his head toward him. His lifted his hips so he could enter Ezra's mouth. It was open, inviting, the lips dry, he would change that. Ezra had other plans. It was a reaction, there was no thought behind his movements. He lifted both arms and grabbed the offending weapon that had been used against him and squeezed it using every fibre of his being. The scream that came from Hauton did nothing to ease his shame or feeling of lack of power. The rapist jumped off him, curses were sputtered out between his lips. His large hands were around his genitals protecting them as best he could.

Ezra thought of nothing except his nakedness. He lifted his hips and pulled his torn underwear and pants up over his hips. A boot bounced off his ribs. He cried out in surprise. The ribs on his right side were also assaulted. He didn't care, the pain he was now feeling was better than what he had felt before. As the boots rained down on him he had only one thought. Maybe they would do him a favour and kill him, put him out of his misery.

___________________________________________________________

Judge Orin Travis only managed to keep one step ahead of Chris Larabee and Team Seven as they made their way to the front desk. Jack Henly had phoned to inform him that his agent had been badly beaten and was at Tuscon Hospital. But there had been something in his friend's voice, he knew that he was holding back important information. Jack had also asked him not to inform Larabee until they had talked. It was something that he would not do. Chris Larabee protected his men with a vengeance, the man had a right to know that one of his team was in the hospital. Henly agreed but then asked him not to allow Larabee to talk to the doctor. Travis unwillingly accepted.

"Ezra Standish!" Chris growled and tapped his fingers impatiently on the counter. He knew this whole operation was a mistake from the beginning and now Ezra was in hospital, a serious beating had put him there. He hated not being there to back his undercover agent up, and he was angry about the entire situation, someone was going to pay for what happened to his agent.

"Orin!" Jack Henly stood in the hallway that led to the emergency rooms.

"Jack." Travis hurried to him with the others hot on his heels. "How is he?"

"He'll be okay, Doctor's with him now." Henly gazed at Larabee, the anger on the man's face scared him. "Can I talk to you, privately."

"We all here it." Chris growled at him.

"Orin?"

"I'll be back in a minute Chris."

"Judge . . . "

"In a minute!"

Travis was also angry. He was the one that had put Standish in a dangerous operation without real backup and now Larabee's fears had become reality. He followed his friend to a room, the sign on the door read, 'PRIVATE! FAMILY MEMBERS ONLY'. If Ezra was okay then why was he taking him somewhere private to talk to him. This wasn't going the way he thought it would. Jack opened the door and stepped aside so he could enter. The room was bright, the lights allowing him to see the man that was obviously waiting for them. Why? He turned when the door closed behind him.

"Orin. This is . . . Paul Sammat, he's from the . . . "

"I'm from the Rape Crisis Centre." Sammat stood up and with an outstretched hand shook the one that was offered to him. He knew it was only a reaction, the face he was looking into was in shock.

"Rape?"

"I'm sorry Orin. Agent Standish was found in the laundry room, beaten and unconscious. There was a prisoner with him, one that claimed Standish had been raped . . . by three men then beaten."

"Thr...ee."

"Yes, he was raped three times, gang rape it's usually called." Travis moved to a chair and sat down heavily. "That's why I wanted to talk to you in private, Mr Sammat here doesn't think it's a good idea that his team members know. Not right now anyway."

"Why?"

"Mr Standish was raped, from what I hear the six men out there are very close to him. The way they're going to react could make things worse . . . " Sammat began.

"They'll stand by my agent, they won't say or do anything to hurt him." Travis spoke in defence of his men.

"Not intentionally but he was raped by men, he is going to suffer emotionally."

"They'll support him through it."

"Judge Travis, can I be blunt?" he received a nod and continued. "Agent Standish is in a room that is being monitored by video cameras. He will be sedated for the next forty eight hours, not heavily but enough to keep him calm. Until I can determine otherwise I have to presume that he is suicidal." Travis' head jerked up at the use of the word 'suicidal'. "He is going to have feelings of vulnerability and powerlessness. Mr Standish may even believe that it was his fault, some men tend to believe that they are actually homosexual and they did things to entice the men to rape them. He is going to be withdrawn from his friends and the world. He will be in denial. Nightmares will cause him sleep disturbance. He will eventually become angry, possibly violent. He will fear other men, even close male friends. I don't want six men sitting in there with him, I don't know how he would react. Two at a time, that's it and if he's uncomfortable with that, then one visitor only." he could see his words sinking in. "It's called RTS. Rape Trauma Syndrome. He's going to need professional help, without it he won't get through it. That's what I'm here for, to help him. I'm going to be spending a lot of time with him over the next few weeks."

"How would they make it worse for him?" Travis asked as he looked away from Sammat.

"They're not trained in dealing with Rape Trauma. Ezra . . . is very vulnerable right now and will be for a while. Unintentional traumatisation can be caused by his friends through no fault of their own. They may try to make decisions for him, that's the worse thing that can be done. He will need to make his own, this will allow him to gain a sense of power over his life and body. That's what he needs. He needs to be re-assured of his manhood, that he didn't allow it to happen, that he's the victim. It will probably be even worse because he's and ATF agent. He was trained to defend himself, he may feel that he's a failure because he didn't, he may even think that deep down he wanted it to happen. His friends won't be able to help him with that."

"What if Ezra wants them to know?"

"Then we'll tell them."

Travis nodded, he didn't know about RTS either, this man did, he would do what he could to help Standish get through this. "Can I see him? "

"The doctor wanted to talk to you anyway. I'll take you to him." Sammat got up and made his way to the door.

Travis again followed like a trained animal. He wouldn't allow himself to look at the others, the expression on his face would tell them that something was seriously wrong. He heard the footsteps running towards him as he stepped into the elevator.

"Travis!"

It was Chris' voice, he was demanding to know about Ezra. How was Chris going to react when he found out that Ezra had been repeatebly raped then beaten. He knew; with anger and violence. Maybe Sammat was right, if Chris showed any of those emotions in front of Ezra things could become . . . difficult. What Ezra needed was support and understanding and Sammat was going to give him those things. The doors closed cutting off Chris' demands. Silence filled the confined area.

"What will I say to him?" Travis searched Sammat's face for an answer.

"You seem like a good man Judge, I'm sure you'll know what to say."

The Judge nodded. He had no idea what to say to his agent The elevator stopped and the doors opened. He watched as the other two men stepped out but he hesitated. The doors were held open for him. They didn't demand that he hurry, they were patient with him. Damn, he thought to himself, here he was struggling in his attempts to see his agent. He wasn't even thinking about what Ezra was going through. What he had been through. To even think of what happened to him made him sick to his stomach. He hoped that it didn't show on his face when he faced Ezra Standish. The agent would mistake his expression for something else, think that his disgust was aimed at him, when it was rightly aimed at the men who had invaded his body. He wished he could take it all back, that he had said no to his friend. His eyes found Jack's and he could see that he was thinking the same thing.

As he left the elevator a door slammed open, he looked instinctively towards the sound. It was Larabee and his men. He should have know that Chris wouldn't sit and wait downstairs. Not when one of his own was lying injured in a hospital bed.

"What the hell is going on?" Chris yelled at his boss while he stormed towards him.

"Five minutes Chris, just give me five minutes." The Judge put out an arm to try and placate his top agent.

"No! Is this the doctor?"

"Five minutes Chris and that's an order. Then you can see Ezra."

"I want to see him now!"

"Do you want to be suspended and sent back to Denver?" Travis glared at him.

"I thought you said he was going to be okay." the fear sounded in Chris' voice.

"He is. This is my fault Chris, I sent him in there. I just want to see him for a few minutes that's all." he was grateful when Chris nodded and stepped out of the way. "Five minutes."

Travis refused to acknowledge the rest of team seven, instead he followed Sammat into the private room that held Ezra Standish. He stepped into the room. It was brighter in comparison to the outside world. Two overhead lights shone down on the man that lay in the bed on his left side. Travis couldn't help but stare. He moved closer, his eyes never leaving the still form before him. The usually handsome face was lined with bruises. Some paler than the others. The first couple of beatings he thought. He saw nothing else. A blanket covered Ezra, the Southerner must have pulled it up to his chin to cover his body. The green eyes were open but they were staring at the wall he was facing.

"Ezra?" he didn't want to move any closer, the haunted look that Ezra held kept him at a distance. Now he understood why Sammat didn't want six men sitting in here with him. Something told him that Ezra would be terrified to face them.

"Judge Travis," Sammat pulled at his upper arm to get the man's attention, "this is Doctor Thorton."

"Judge," Thorton shook his hand then glanced at the man he was staring at. "Physically he'll be fine." Travis turned to look at him. "Physically?"

"He has three cracked ribs and two broken ribs, a lot of bruising around the stomach and chest. Luckily there was no internal damage. He also has a slight concussion."

"Get on with it." Travis growled at him.

"We've taken blood samples . . . "

"Why?"

"We have to test him for HIV and other sexual diseases. We've given him medication to prevent some sexually transmitted diseases but not all." he saw the confused looked on the older man's face. "They wouldn't have used protection. And it's normal procedure in a rape case."

"How long will it take to get the results?"

"It'll be a few days."

Travis nodded then looked back at Ezra. The sadness was written all over his features. The Judge turned away, he could no longer look at him, not like this. If Ezra was to see the sadness he felt then he would think that he only felt pity for him.

"There was internal damage, a lot of tearing but they weren't severe, he was lucky."

"Penetration is never gentle, it's a power trip mostly, they're usually pretty violent during the rape, sometimes leaving serious internal damage." Sammat informed the Judge of something that he didn't really want to know.

"Is he coherent? Will he acknowledge me?"

"He hasn't acknowledged anyone as yet." the doctor answered him. "Paul spoke to him, but there was no response."

"How come we weren't contacted earlier?"

"I needed to talk to him first, it's important to start therapy as quickly as possible. I had to determine his condition so I could inform you of what was ahead for him. It's going to very difficult."

He no longer wanted to talk to these men. They didn't seem to care that Ezra had friends that were worried sick about him. He stepped closer to the large bed and sat down in the chair that faced Ezra. He wanted to reach forward and touch him. Just a gentle touch that would tell the undercover agent that he was here for him and that he cared. But he was afraid of the reaction it would bring.

"Ezra?"

There was no reply, not even a shift in the eyes.

"Ezra?" his voice became louder.

The eyes blinked then changed position, they were now staring at him.

Travis stared back, his throat had tightened. He didn't know what to say to this man.

"I'm so sorry Ezra, I should never have allowed you to go into that place."

The eyes blinked once more then looked away.

"Chris and the others are outside, they want to come in and see you."

Moisture began to fill the green eyes, they blinked allowing the tears to fall.

"They don't know Ezra and we won't tell them unless you want us to."

"Don't." the voice was full of emotion, the fear was evident.

"We won't Ezra, it's your decision to make and we'll abide by it." Travis saw Sammat nodding at him. He had said the right thing. "Do you want them to come in. Mr Sammat . . . "

"Paul." Sammat corrected him.

"Paul said only two visitors at a time but if you want to see them all . . . ?"

"No." Ezra answered. "They'll get . . . to close, will want to . . . "

"How are you going to stop that?" Travis asked Sammat.

"Ezra will stop it."

"One." Ezra nodded and looked into the Judge's face. He was afraid of what he would find there. The older face was rugged but kind, the concern and worry was there. No disgust or hatred lined the features. There no was blame being aimed at him. There was no need, he was feeling all of those emotions himself. He felt numb as though he wasn't the one that had been . . . he couldn't say it. It was as though he was standing on the outside looking at someone else. Not Ezra Standish. And he was feeling disgusted with the person, blaming him for what had happened, he had allowed it to happen. The hatred he felt for the person that was himself was overwhelming.

"Five minutes Ezra, that's all." Paul told him.

"Chris?" The Judge asked him.

"I . . . "

Travis saw the fear and understood. Ezra knew that Chris would become angry. It was the last thing that Ezra wanted and needed right now. He was going to have to talk to the team's leader, give him a reason for not showing any strong emotions in front of his agent. It wouldn't be easy, Chris wasn't stupid. None of them were

"Vin?"

Vin won't get angry, the two men were close in their own way. Each having a childhood that was similar, dealing with it in their own way. It had brought them together in friendship.

Ezra nodded.

Travis stood up and made his way to the door. He turned and looked back over his shoulder. Ezra was watching him. He smiled at him, the expression encouraging the younger man. He opened the door and stepped out. The door closed behind him. He didn't want Ezra to hear the impending argument.

"Vin, you can go in."

"And the rest of us?" Chris growled.

"Doctor Thorton said one visitor at a time, Ezra needs to rest."

"How bad is he?" Buck asked.

"Cracked and broken ribs, concussion. He'll be fine." Travis wanted to tell them everything.

"Then why only one of us, and why Vin." Chris was becoming more angry.

"You're too angry." it was a simple statement by the Judge that said everything. "Vin."

Tanner couldn't understand why he was being allowed to go in and not the others. He looked at Chris, expecting to see anger on his face, there wasn't any, the man nodded at him to go in. Someone had to go in, they needed to know what was being hidden from them. Vin nodded in return and followed the Judge into the room. He didn't know what to expect, what Ezra would look like. What he didn't expect was to see the haunted look in the green eyes, to see the fear that was so pronounced in his body language. There was more to this than a beating. These symptoms hadn't been there when he had visited Ezra at the prison. His mind started to tick over, the fear filling his own heart as different thoughts began to fill his mind.

Ezra was watching him and he knew he couldn't just stand there staring at his friend. He moved slowly so he wouldn't scare him. The seat wasn't close to the bed, he knew why, he didn't pull it any closer. He smiled, the expression soft and understanding. Now, what to say to him?

"Hey Ezra." now that was a nice start. Should he let Ezra know that he knew. He didn't need words to be told what happened. It was written all over Ezra's face, it was in his eyes. It was a look that was going to stay with him for a long time. Shit! He didn't know what to say to his friend.

"Vin."

Vin felt his eyes filling up with tears. Damn! He couldn't do this, not in front of Ezra. He took a long, slow, deep breath.

"I don't know what to say Ezra."

Ezra could see the knowledge in Vin's eyes. He should have known that they wouldn't be able to hide it from him, or the others. Vin could read people, almost as good as he could but he was never able to see through his poker face. But that poker face couldn't be worn, nothing could control or hide his feelings at the moment. He nodded. Talking was something that he didn't want to do.

"They'll see it too." he saw the tears fall from Ezra's eyes. He wanted to reach forward and hold him but knew Ezra wouldn't let him. The man was probably terrified of him. It didn't matter that they were friends, that he would know that they would never do anything to harm him, physically or emotionally. What he was feeling was a reaction to what had happened. The emotions would be out of control and he was going to need help to deal with them. "Want me to tell them?"

Ezra raised a hand to wipe his face. "Blame . . . me."

"You know they won't."

"They'll . . . angry."

Vin understood. "They won't be angry at you. But you don't want the anger in here?"

Ezra nodded his head.

"I'll go and tell them." Vin stood up. "Can I come back and sit with you?"

Ezra looked up at him, searching for something that he needed. He saw it in Vin's eyes. A friend. One that wouldn't question, blame or hate. Not even unintentionally. He nodded then returned to staring at the wall.

Vin waited a moment, watching him. He turned to find the Judge looking at him. He stepped closer to him.

"You did good Vin."

Vin could only nod. His throat was restricted with emotions he hadn't felt for a long time. They left the room. Chris and the others were watching them, waiting for Vin to give them the answer they were seeking. But he didn't, he needed a minute.

The sharp shooter walked away from them. His anger growing and becoming to much for him to control. If he let it out now Ezra would hear him and react. They were following him, he could hear their footsteps. No questions were asked, they knew he would talk in his own time. The fear they felt surrounded him making him walk faster to get away from it. Why? Why Ezra? Damn them to hell!

He reached the end of the hallway where a group of chairs sat in a small area for patients. Vin didn't hesitate, he rushed to the chair closest to him, picked it up and threw it against the wall in a fit of anger. It didn't make him feel any better so a second chair joined the first. A gentle voice stopped him.

"Vin?" Chris had stopped, frozen where he was when Vin's anger erupted. He'd never seen the normally controlled man lose it like this before. "Vin?"

"He was raped Chris." Vin whispered.

"What?" Chris hoped, prayed that he didn't hear the word rape.

Vin spun around to face his friends. "Some fucking son-of-a-bitch raped him!" his anger left him, he moved slowly to a chair and fell into it. "Ezra was raped."

"Chris." Travis waited until Chris turned to face him. "The man that you thought was a doctor is from the Rape Crisis Centre. He thought it best that you didn't know yet. Ezra didn't want you to know either. But Vin could see it in his face."

Chris hung his head. Raped. Ezra. Someone was going to pay for this. No, die was the better term for what he was going to do to the bastard that hurt one of his own.

"There were three men," the Judge continued. "He was raped three times, three men. Then they beat him."

"Aw shit." Vin clasped his hands over his face.

Josiah began to mutter a prayer under his breath. Chris wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up, that his prayers will do nothing to help Ezra. But he kept his mouth shut, the prayers won't help Ezra but they would help Josiah. They were all going to deal with this in their own way. Vin was obviously angry, Josiah was using his God. He knew JD wouldn't say anything, not to him anyway. The others, he wasn't sure about Nathan and Buck.

"Sammat doesn't want all of you in there with him . . . " Travis started but stopped using his voice and began to use his body when Chris began to walk towards Ezra's room. "Chris!"

Chris stopped abruptly and turned to his men. "You coming!" he continued to walk when they began to follow him, each of them afraid to face Ezra but each knowing what Chris' intentions were.

"Chris, don't!" Travis called out after him. "That's an order!"

Chris ignored him and pushed opened the door. It swung in a wide ark, allowing the six men to enter almost as one. The leader watched Ezra without staring. His face held no anger, no blame and no disgust. Ezra was his undercover agent, and his friend. The man was like family, he was family and he wasn't going to sit outside and wait for his turn to stay with him. No way in hell!

Ezra's face held something he hadn't seen before. Fear and self-loathing. The green eyes were blank, haunted, with no feelings showing in them. Gone was the mischievous glint that often drove him to the point of wanting to physically assault him. Chris was about to go to him when a voice asked him to leave.

"I would like all of you to leave." Sammat asked calmly.

"No." Chris answered just as calmly. He hadn't taken his eyes from Ezra's features, he was searching for something that would tell him that Ezra wanted them to stay or leave. He saw nothing apart from the original emotions.

"It's best for Mr Standish if you leave."

"I can understand where you're coming from Mr . . . "

"Sammat, Paul Sammat."

"Sammat, you know what you're doing in regards to what happened to Ezra," Chris berated himself when he saw Ezra flinch at his words, it was like a physical blow, "but we know Ezra, we know how he thinks, how he feels. We know how to deal with and cope with his emotions. Besides, he's our friend. Damn it! He's family and we're staying here with him."

Ezra blinked, a faint smile tugged at his lips, but it was gone in an instant.

"We stay."

"I would prefer that you go."

"Every time one of us is hurt we're there, always. It won't be any different this time. We're staying with Ezra. He needs us more now than he has before. Ezra knows that we won't hurt him."

"You might do something unintentionally." Sammat argued.

"Stay." Ezra whispered.

"You heard what Ezra said. We stay." It was as simple as that as far as Chris was concerned. Now for the hard part. They couldn't just sit in the room and say nothing to their friend and yet they couldn't act they way they usually did in an attempt to cheer him up. This was different and their tactics were going to have to be different.

"You guys stay with Ezra, I want to talk to Sammat and the doctor." Chris' eyes had never left Ezra's face since he entered the room. Now he moved closer and knelt down next to the bed. "Ezra, at any time, if you want us to leave just say so. We'll understand. We'll do what we have to, what you want us to do that makes you feel more comfortable. Anything to help you get through this. Okay?"

Ezra nodded but he was still staring at the wall over Chris' shoulder.

"I'll be back in a few minutes Ezra, I'll just be outside." Chris didn't like the way Ezra wouldn't look at him, he hated seeing him this way. The Southerner was closed off to those around him, only acknowledging them when he had too. He stood up and walked away. Chris left the room with three men following him.

The six remaining men stood watching the man in the bed. The silence was thick, the uneasiness that they felt filled the room. Vin broke the mood by making the first move, he returned to the seat near Ezra and smiled at him. Ezra wasn't looking at him though.

"Anything you need Ezra, want, maybe we can do something for you." Vin spoke to him, he let his mind do the talking, anything to break the silence that was suffocating them all.

"No."

"Ezra, you sure you're okay with all of us being here?" Nathan moved forward. He knew what Ezra had suffered physically - during his time as a medic he had seen two male rape cases, neither of them pleasant, the second victim had suffered serious internal injuries - but he had no idea what he was going through emotionally; none of them did.

"Don't know."

Nathan noticed the slow speech pattern, the short answers, the fact that Ezra didn't look them in the eye. The man that was Ezra Standish had been destroyed and he didn't know how to repair him. He could do things that would help to heal his injuries, take care of him when he was released from the hospital but the emotional injuries were something altogether different. He didn't know what to do to help him.

"Ezra?" it was Josiah's turn. He stood beside Vin, but decided to go down on his knees so he could look into Ezra's eyes. "Can you look at me."

Ezra didn't want to, he was afraid of what he would see in Josiah's eyes. So far Vin and Chris hadn't judged him, but that might change later when they received more details of what had happened. He shuddered, the tremors visible to everyone in the room.

"No . . . "

"There's no need to be afraid of me, or us Ezra."

"Not . . . afraid . . . of . . . you." it was a lie but he didn't want them to think he feared them.

Josiah didn't like the slow speech coming from his friend. "Then why won't you look at me?"

"Eyes."

"Eyes?" Josiah was confused.

"He's afraid of what he'll see in your eyes." Vin answered for Ezra.

"All you're going to see is support and concern Ezra. What happened wasn't your fault. We won't and will never blame you. Please look at me Ezra."

Josiah had to wait a few moments but Ezra's eyes finally turned towards him. They were hesitant at first, looking then quickly turning away again. Josiah smiled gently at him when the green haunted eyes stayed on him.

"Okay?"

Ezra felt his chest heave with emotion and his voice hitch as the tears threatened to break through.

"Sorry."

Josiah was desperate to do what Vin had also wanted to do, he needed to lift Ezra up into his arms and hold him, to show him that everything was all right. But he too knew that Ezra wouldn't allow it, it was something that he found hard to accept even when he had been his normal self, before this shit had happened. Ezra wasn't a physical person, none of them were really but they accepted human contact easier than Ezra. The Southerner often offered a violent reaction to what they were trying to do.

"There's nothing to be sorry for Ezra, it wasn't your fault. You don't understand that now but you will." Josiah wanted to get angry, to yell at the younger man to stop blaming himself for something he didn't do. He hadn't asked to be raped, it was violently forced upon him. Josiah saw a picture in his mind and closed his eyes. He could see the terror in Ezra's eyes and knew that it was nothing compared to the actual event. "We're here for you Ezra, always will be, remember that, okay."

Ezra nodded as another tear fell. He had been terrified about how his friends would react, he wasn't sure if they would blame him. Think that he had made some sarcastic remark that had in some way asked for what happened to him. There was a terrifying fear that they would feel disgust towards him, that they wouldn't want to be near him. That he would lose their friendship forever. But Chris had proven him wrong. He had told them that he and the others were staying. He was grateful because a part of him didn't want them near him, didn't want them to stay but now they were here he wanted them to stay.

Buck moved forward to replace Josiah. "Hey Ez." he knew Ezra didn't like the name, for some reason he preferred they used his birth name but Buck always used it to get a comeback from Ezra. It was a test for him, he needed to know how bad a state his friend was in emotionally.

"Buck?" Ezra looked into his eyes, it was easier this time. He read the same expressions in Buck's eyes as he did in everyone else's.

Buck looked back, he didn't know what to say. Ezra was in a real bad way and there were no words that he could say that would help him.

"You don't . . . have . . . . talk."

"I want to Ezra, just don't know what to say to you."

"It's okay . . . Buck."

"It's not okay Ezra, I should say something, should know what to say to you. You're my friend, friends know what to say to make each other feel better."

"Not . . . this time."

"Don't worry Ezra, I'll think of something, just give me some time."

"Come on Buck, you're talking too much." JD told him.

Ezra noticed that they each were taking a turn to talk to him instead of crowding him all at once. They might not know what to say but they knew what to do. They didn't come near him, or reach out to touch him. The look in Josiah's eyes told him that the man wanted to come closer, to comfort him physically. Josiah held back, he understood what his touch would do to him.

But JD was younger, he was unsure of what Ezra was feeling. He knew what happened physically, knew what a male rape entailed but didn't know the emotional results.

"How you doin' Ezra?" JD asked him.

The other men hung their heads, they knew JD was young, but he was mature in his ways. He said things that none of them would think of saying. He sometimes helped when they couldn't. That's why they didn't stop him. They each hoped that he would say something that would help Ezra.

"Want to hear a joke?' JD smiled at him.

Ezra couldn't help but smile at that, JD was never going to change.

"Is that a yes?"

"No, JD."

"Aw hell, and it was a good one too." JD slapped Ezra's covered shoulder and was unprepared for the response.

Ezra jerked back at the touch, he even began to push himself towards the edge of the bed. Nathan quickly made his way around to the other side but made no attempt to stop Ezra, he was just going to be there in case he fell.

"Jesus Ezra, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything, I'm so sorry Ezra." JD looked at the others. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay JD, you didn't know." Buck put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it in support. "Ezra knows you mean nothing by it. He's scared JD, scared of everyone, we have to give him time, let him make the first move. Okay."

"I'm sorry Ezra, I'm really sorry." he couldn't say it enough.

Ezra tried to calm himself down, the touch brought back everything. The fear, the knowledge of what happened, the pain he felt at the intrusion. But most of all he felt the disgust that he had for his own body, the self hatred and blame. It had to be his fault, he had to have done something that made them do this to him. The tears started and he couldn't stop them, his emotions were out of control, they went to deep, they cut into his very soul causing it to bleed. Ezra ignored the pain and curled into himself, his knees pressed against his chest. He lowered his head until his forehead sat on his knees. He wanted to hide his face from the others, he didn't want them to see him like this. They wouldn't leave him, he knew that, but what could they do to help him through this. Nothing, there was absolutely nothing anyone could do for him.

They waited, that's what they did, it was the only thing they could do. They waited.

Chris Larabee closed the door then sank back against it. He closed his eyes and began to breath slowly so he could bring his emotions under control. The sight of his agent had scared the hell out of him, especially his eyes. The look in his own eyes when his family died didn't come close to the way Ezra's looked. The man was dead inside.

"I want to know everything, and I mean everything." Chris first looked at the warden.

Henly turned to his friend, the Judge nodded at him to go ahead.

"Agent Standish was working in the laundry, I don't know what happened to the guards or other prisoners. They haven't been questioned yet. There is one prisoner who claimed to see the whole thing . . . "

"And he didn't try and stop it?" Chris asked angrily.

"Kyle Lawden is a punk," the expression on the agent's face told him that he knew what it mean but something wanted him to explain it to him, to let him know why Lawden wouldn't, no couldn't help the agent that was being raped in front of him, "he's raped nearly every night, the prisoners use him. They know when and where to do it so they don't get caught. Most guards turn their heads. We can't stop it because there is no evidence of it, the prisoners won't admit to being raped, sometimes we find them in the condition that we found your agent in. But they won't say who did it, without that there is nothing we can do. Lawden said that he was the intended victim, that Agent Standish tried to help him. There was only one man to start with but after Standish showed up, two more men arrived. He said they took him instead."

"Three of them?" Chris needed to know more. "What state was he in?"

"Unconscious, he was fully clothed but his trousers were undone."

Sammat took his cue. "Sometimes when it's over the victim covers themselves in an attempt to think that it didn't happen. In the case of prisoners, they would get dressed then carry on with they were doing, to some of them it's an everyday event. They don't like it but they accept it, if they didn't they would be beaten or killed."

"Do you think Ezra was the intended victim?"

"No," Henly told him, "Lawden assured me that he was the one that was going to be raped, they just changed their minds after Standish tried to help them."

"But why three?"

"As they would say, 'why not'."

Chris grimaced at Henly's statement, the man had been blunt and to the point.

"I want to talk to Lawden in the morning and the guards that were supposed to be on duty."

Henly nodded in agreement. An investigation would occur but he didn't think anything would come out of it, this way, at least they may find some answers. Chris then looked at the doctor, he didn't ask, the man knew what he wanted.

"He's sedated at the moment," Thorton didn't tell him why, he'll leave that to Sammat, "a concussion, not serious though. Three cracked ribs, two broken ones. There's a lot of bruising around his chest and stomach but no internal damage. The rectum and colon received some injuries, tearing mostly. There is also extensive bruising around the rectum and buttocks. Physically he'll heal without complications. But we're testing him for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases."

"When did this happen?" Chris asked the group. They had been able to do a lot in a short period of time.

"Four hours ago." Henly told him

"And you only just informed us! Why?" he had to force himself not to raise his voice but his tone betrayed his anger.

"I was informed immediately," Sammat explained, "therapy has to begin straight away. I didn't think you should be informed until Mr Standish had been taken care of and settled into a room. I needed to talk to him before anyone else did. And now you're here, stopping me from doing my job."

"Your job." Chris retorted. "You kept us away from Ezra, he needs us. We should have been told. You didn't even consider how he would feel waking up in a room full of strangers, especially after what he'd been through."

"Chris calm down, he's trying to do what's best for Ezra." The Judge used an authoritative tone that said he meant business.

"Not as far as I'm concerned." Chris growled back. "So what is it that you think you need to do for him?"

Chris listened as Sammat repeated what he had told the Judge. He was both shocked and afraid when the first sentence spoke about suicidal tendencies. He understood the emotions that his agent was going through and he wished that there was something that he and his men could do for Ezra. It only took five minutes for Sammat to explain what Ezra was going to go through. But it wasn't that simple for Ezra, it may take him weeks, months, even years to accept what happened and that it wasn't his fault.

"Oh." Chris muttered.

"Yes, 'oh'." Sammat mimicked. "Now if you don't mind, I would like to talk to my patient in private. I need to know if he's suicidal or not."

"You only talk to him in private if he wants it that way." Chris stepped closer, his stance and expression giving out the treats that he wanted to do personally with his fists.

"You can threaten me all you want. Mr Standish is the one who is going through hell. I would've thought that you would do anything to help him." Sammat smiled at him.

"I would do anything to help that man, including die for him, we all would." Chris liked the expression he received at the admission he'd just given. "Like I said in there, we know him. No one else can get through to him. He's surrounded by a wall that hides what he feels. It's taken us nearly a year just to begin breaking it down and you think you can do that in a matter of minutes. You have no hope in hell."

"And you think you can." Sammat nodded. "You think he'll talk to you about how he feels, what he went through." it was Sammat's turn to take a step closer to his rival. "You want to hear how three men violently forced him to the ground, tore his clothes from his body, leaving him naked from the waist down. You want him to tell you about the fear that tore through him at the realisation of what was about to happen. About the pain he felt when an erected penis that would have felt like the thick end of a base ball bat was shoved up his ass,"

"That's enough." The Judge grabbed the man's arm.

"How it felt when it began to thrust inside him, pushing in and out, how it felt when it ejaculated. Is that want you want to talk to him about. That when it was over he felt ashamed of himself, that his mind was full of disgust and self loathing. And then to find out they hadn't finished with him. That he went through the same thing two more times. Is that what you want?!"

"Yes." Chris answered simply. "Ezra's my friend, my family. I want him to talk to me about anything and everything including being raped."

Sammat narrowed his eyes, "You would listen but how would you react to his description, his feelings."

"I wouldn't. I don't understand what he went through but I do understand his feelings. He knows I do and he knows how I would react. With understanding and concern. There will be no anger, disgust or hatred aimed at Ezra from me or the other team members."

"How would you know how he feels?"

"That's none of your damn business." Chris spoke harshly. He had taken an instant disliking to this man and he was the person that was supposed to be helping Ezra.

"Why don't you both go in and see what Ezra has to say on the matter." the Judge suggested to them.

Both men stared at each other for what seemed to be an eternity. Sammat made the first move towards the door but before he could reach it Chris had his hand around the door knob. He had waited for Sammat to make the first move but he was going to be the first one to enter the room.

"Ezra, I know you don't want to but you have to straighten up, your ribs." Nathan wanted to grab him and place him in a better position, a more comfortable one. He reached out with his hand but pulled it back when the door opened.

Chris and the others walked in to find Ezra curled up into a ball under his blanket and crying. The sight reminded Chris of the nights he'd spent with his son. Adam had a nightmare and Chris had found him in the same position. In a fetal position with tears falling out of control. He'd known what Adam had wanted and needed, now Ezra was requiring the same thing. Assurance that he wasn't alone in his nightmare, that there were people who cared for him and would help him recover from it. He needed human contact even though he didn't know it.

"What did you do to him?" Sammat demanded to know.

"I . . . " JD started.

"Don't worry about it JD." Chris smiled in understanding and moved towards Ezra.

The Southerner was covered by the blanket but he could see the emotional tremors and hear the sobs that racked his agent's body. He wanted to swap places with him, anything to stop him feeling this way. It was the first time that Ezra had ever cried in front of them and plenty of occasions had presented the opportunity but he always held the emotions back. Chris had no doubt that the tears were shed once Ezra was in private solitude. But Ezra had no control over these tears.

"I want you out of here. Now!" Sammat ordered again. "I told you this would happen."

Chris and the others ignored him. They had no intention of leaving.

"Ezra?" he leaned forward and lowered the blanket so he could see Ezra's face.

Ezra heard Chris' voice, felt the blanket being removed. He pushed his hands harder against his face to try and stop the tears. They wouldn't. God he hated this. He hated himself.

"Ezra, look at me." he waited. "Ezra, that was an order."

He wanted to refuse, to disobey but he respected Chris to much to ignore him and his orders. Well not always but now was the time that he needed Chris' authority, his dependability. He lowered his hands then began to wipe the tears from his face.

"Need some help?"

Ezra didn't understand the question.

"Here," Chris moved closer and sat on the edge of the bed. He saw the fear in the green eyes but knew the fear wasn't aimed directly at him. He reached out with his arms and actually saw the every day expression of 'excuse me?'. The look gave Chris hope.

Ezra shook his head at Chris' suggestion, he had never looked for or allowed physical support to be given to him and he wasn't going to start now. The thought of his touch made him feel sick to the stomach.

"Don't give me that look Ezra, just do as you're told for once."

"No . . . Chris . . . can't."

"Can't or won't Ezra?"

"Can't."

"Don't give me that crap, you don't even know what the word means, you never have."

Sammat watched with interest from the sideline. He was backing the ATF agent, hoping that he could get Ezra to get closer to him, to even have some sort of physical contact. It would be a tremendous breakthrough after an event that only happened a matter of hours ago. But then these men were close, he may not have gotten the same results if he tried it himself. Chris would only succeed because his agent trusted him.

"Ezra, you know I won't hurt you. Trust me." Chris spoke softly.

Ezra inched a little closer. Chris was right, he knew his friend wouldn't hurt him, none of them would. So why was he afraid of them. Because they were men and it was men that had raped him. The thought brought more tears to his eyes. He saw Chris coming for him and before he could stop him he was wrapped tightly within Chris' arms, his head was held against the warm chest and beating heart. He tried to pull away, to scream in fear but his leader's soothing voice whispered re-assuring words to him. Ezra stopped struggling and openly cried in front of his friends.

"I think it's time you guys leave." Josiah motioned to the unwanted guests to leave, including Judge Travis.

"Let me know when he's ready to talk." Sammat requested of him.

"We're here for you Ezra," Chris told him, "we don't blame you, we don't hate you, we don't think it was your fault. It wasn't. We feel no disgust towards you. You're family Ezra and we'll do anything for you, anything to get you through this." his hand stroked the back of the damp skull.

Chris took the opportunity to comfort him for all the emotional and physical injuries he had suffered since he'd known him. For the times he should have cried in front of the others but instead had allowed them to fall when he was alone. And for now, he thanked Josiah's god for at least allowing him to do this. The so called God could have stopped the whole thing from happening in the first place but how could he expect that in a world like this.

"You'll be okay Ezra, we'll take care of you, we're not going to leave you."

The tears continued, Ezra couldn't stop them now that they had started. He listened to Chris' voice to remind himself that a friend that wouldn't hurt him was holding him. He had tried to keep his eyes open so he could see him but the tears only blurred his vision. He wanted to hold Chris in return, to try and take all the strength the man had, he was going to need it, Chris wasn't. He felt the bed shift when someone sat down on it, he tried to draw his knees up even further. He hated himself for being so scared of his friends.

"It's okay Ezra, you have a right to be scared, even of us. You just need time, we've got plenty of that and so do you."

Chris seemed to know what to say to him. The words didn't really help him though. It wasn't as though he had tripped over and skinned his knee. This was something that had scared him emotionally and it was going to stay with him for the rest of his life. He would deal with it, maybe it will take him a week, maybe a few weeks but then life would get back to normal. But he knew that the memory will stay with him forever where it wasn't wanted; in his dreams.

The tears finally began to end, it was a draining experience for them all. They knew Ezra wouldn't feel any better because of the outpouring of emotions. But they did. Ezra wouldn't keep them at an arms length now, not after this. He may even talk to them or one of them about what happened. Ezra would also know that they won't leave him alone when he was emotional. He would know that he could cry at anytime in front of them. It wouldn't last though, once Ezra was on the road to recovery he would become more like his normal self. They would look forward to the day when he smiled and laughed again without the haunted look in his eyes, or the fear that he was now feeling.

"You want to stay here, or back into bed?" Chris asked him as he used his fingers to wipe away the tears. Chris enjoyed the moment, he felt like a father again. He wanted his wife and son back.

"Bed."

"Can Nathan give me a hand?"

Ezra looked up into Chris' green eyes then over his shoulder at Nathan. He nodded. They weren't going to hurt him. It took them a few minutes to get him into a comfortable position on his side. Chris pulled the blanket back up to his shoulders then sat down in the chair that Vin had vacated, the sharp shooter now sat on the edge of the bed.

"Ezra, we would have been here sooner but we only found out." Chris didn't say why, it wasn't the time for placing the blame on someone else.

"It's . . . okay." Ezra understood. Sammat had told him they didn't want to inform his friends before he had a chance to talk to him, but they had found out anyway and now they were here.

"You want anything Ezra?" Buck asked him. "Something to drink maybe?"

"No . . . tired."

"Why don't you get some rest Ezra, we'll be here when you wake up." Chris assured him.

"Night . . . mares." Ezra looked at Chris.

"I'm sorry Ezra but there's nothing we can do to stop them, neither can you. They're going to happen. But we'll be here when you wake up, you won't be alone to deal with them."

"Don't . . . want them . . . Chris."

"I wish we could stop them from happening Ezra. Would take your place if I could."

Ezra nodded in understanding. These men would give their lives for him, as he would for them. He knew they were all thinking the same thing. They would change places with him if they could. He didn't want them to do that, didn't want them to feel what he had, to feel what he did now.

"If I do . . ." Ezra hesitated. "Don't . . . touch . . . me."

"We won't Ezra. Get some sleep okay. We'll talk some more in the morning."

Chris watched as Ezra fought the sleep that was trying to take him. The eyelids would fall and cover the green eyes but they would soon jump back open again. He even shifted his body a number of times, the grimace that appeared on his face when he did told Chris why. The movement caused the pain to ignite, keeping him awake.

"Ezra, don't fight it." Chris couldn't watch him doing that to himself any longer. "Please, get some sleep, you need it."

"Chris . . . I . . ."

"I know Ezra, I know."

It was another ten minutes before the eyes closed, they didn't re-open. Chris watched the peaceful countenance before him. He noticed that some of the bruising was old, he didn't want to bring it up, it was best left for another day.

"I'm sorry Chris." JD spoke from the corner of the room. "I touched him, I didn't know."

Chris turned to him. "It's okay JD, if you hadn't then I wouldn't have been able to do what I did. You got the ball rolling for him."

"I did?"

"Yeah you did." Buck grabbed him and gave him a bear hug. More to comfort himself than JD.

"It might be different tomorrow Chris." Nathan warned him. "Ezra might not want to repeat it."

"It's going to take him a while isn't it Nathan." Chris got off the bed and stretched his muscles.

"Yeah it could, I'm not an expert but something like this, it could take months to deal with and accept."

"Sammat told me what he would be feeling. Everything from suicidal, self hatred, taking the blame to thinking that he did something to entice it. That he would even think that we would hate him for it. He would lose his manhood and that could destroy him."

"It's going to take a lot of support from us." Josiah said.

"And he's going to get it." Vin agreed.

"I'm going to the prison tomorrow. There was a witness who won't say who did it. I'm going to talk to the guards as well, they disappeared before it happened."

"Why Ezra?" Buck asked. He knew the Southerner was good looking, hot was what most women told him, with a body to match. He didn't see what the women saw and neither did Ezra.

"He tried to stop it from happening to someone else."

"That'll be right." Josiah nodded.

"JD, Buck, why don't you go and get us some coffee. We're going to be here a while." Chris smiled at his youngest agent.

"Sure Chris, anything else, food maybe."

"Later."

When JD left the room Chris stood up and began to pace. His anger was now beginning to show.

"I want whoever did this and I want the people that allowed it happen!"

"That may be difficult Chris," Vin told him, "people won't snitch in a prison."

"I know, but I don't care how long it takes. I want them."

Vin lowered his head, he understood Chris' need to avenge their friend, he wanted the same thing. They all did. But it was going to be a difficult investigation. He had all intentions of accompanying Chris when he went to the prison. Chris was going to need someone to help him stay in control so he wouldn't do anything he'd regret. He didn't need an assault charge that would keep him away from Ezra. Their friend needed all of them in his own way and they all had different ways of helping Ezra get through his ordeal. They had to stay together.

Chris didn't sleep, he couldn't. Every time he closed his eyes he could see the fear in Ezra's eyes. His imagination tried to show him what Ezra had gone through, it kept making it out to be worse than it was, but then he didn't know how bad it had been. His mind was probably not anywhere close to what it had been really like. He kept thinking that it looked worse than it was but deep down he knew it was a lot worse than it looked.

Ezra slept fitfully on the bed but no serious nightmares had started; yet. He had moved onto his back, his head moving from side to side but in a slow performance of dreaming. There was some inhuman part of Chris that wanted to lift the bed covers and see the damage for himself, to see that it had really happened and they weren't just lying to him. He couldn't and he wouldn't.

Not everyone was asleep. Vin and Josiah sat in the chairs that Buck and JD had stolen from various places around the hospital. They were also watching Ezra as he slept. Neither man enjoyed the silence that filled the room but they didn't know what to say to each other. The others slept on the floor on and beneath a pile of blankets each. These had been supplied by the hospital staff. The female nurses had taken one look at Ezra and fell in love. But it was more like the love for a sick child than a grown man. They had been informed that if they wanted anything just to ask and they would get it.

Vin shifted in his seat, he was uncomfortable, both with the piece of furniture he sat in and the silence that surrounded him. He wanted to say something, to get the others to talk, but no words would form. What could he say?

"What's Sammat like?" Vin asked when he suddenly thought of something.

"He's an asshole." Chris grunted.

"Think he'll be able to help Ezra?"

"Yeah, he will, but only if he can get him to talk."

"He'll talk." Josiah told them. "He hasn't got a choice this time, he'll know that he won't be able to do it alone this time."

"Nooo . . ."

The child like voice that came from Ezra caused them all to move quickly to the bed. They realised their mistake and took a couple of steps back. If they were to close to the bed when Ezra woke up, then he was going to react, terror would fill his mind and body.

Ezra's head began to move more violently, each time his head turned he pushed it further into the pillow. His shoulders lifted up as though he were struggling against something. His hands gripped the blanket, the knuckles turning white. His legs began to kick out at something. Sweat began to form on his forehead causing the strand of hair to become damp.

"Please . . . nooo."

His movements became even more violent. Chris began to fear that Ezra was going to hurt himself more. They saw the tears begin to fall from Ezra's sleep-closed eyes. Chris couldn't take anymore, he had to and wanted to do something. He moved closer and bent over so his face was close to Ezra's. He began to talk, his warm breath flowing across Ezra's sweat covered flesh.

"Ezra, it's okay, it's just a dream. Try and concentrate on my voice. Ezra, listen to my voice. You're not in any danger, you're with your friends and you know we won't hurt you." the violent movements didn't ease. Ezra was caught within a violent world of nightmares. "Come on Ezra. Concentrate on my voice, I know you can hear me. Hey, what about a poker game. I've been practising, think I could beat you now. Been saving my money too. Maybe later when you're better we can play and I can take all of your money for a change."

"No," Ezra's voice sounded more confident, he was awake but still sleepy. "Can't . . . beat . . . me."

"Care to bet on that?" Chris spoke louder knowing that his friend had waken from the nightmare.

"I . . . do love . . . the sound of . . . that word . . . , Chris . . . I . . . can't do this."

"You're going to have to try Ezra, I mean, you saying you can't bet, now that's not right."

Ezra snorted and swiped his hand towards Chris and was rewarded with a 'ow'. "Know what . . . I mean . . ."

"Think you're going to lose don't you. The great Ezra Standish finally loses to the almighty Chris Larabee at poker and everyone will be there to see it. Pictures will be plastered all of the office . . . ow!" Chris rubbed his watering eye and glared at the two men who were smiling at him.

"You're doing great Chris. Two hits to Ezra, none to you." Vin shook his head in shame, he thought his friend and leader was better than that.

"I can't do anything in return," Chris growled at them, "but then again there are insults."

"You'd lose." Ezra stated simply and rolled onto his uninjured side facing Chris. He opened his eyes when he felt Chris' breath on his face. He smiled slightly then closed his eyes again and drifted off to sleep knowing that his friends were there to protect and help him.

"That went well." Josiah told him.

"Use to do it with Adam, distract him with one of his favourite subjects. Took his mind off the nightmare and before I knew it he was sleeping again."

"Good tactics." Vin agreed.

"Yeah," Chris began. He hung his head, leaning his forehead on the bed, "miss doing it, miss Adam and Sarah." his muted words weren't heard by the two men. He got up and went back to the chair and sat down heavily into it as though the weight of the world was pushing him down into it.

"He'll be okay Chris," Josiah assured him, "it's going to take a while but he'll be okay and he senses that."

"Yeah, I can see bits of the old Ezra at times. It seems strange though, I don't think I would be able to get over something like that. I mean . . . " he shook his head, the movement saying what his words couldn't.

"I wouldn't be able to live." Vin admitted. "Ezra will cope because he's always had to cope, he's been through more than one hell in his life, he'll know what he needs to do. Just hope that he doesn't do it on his own like he always does."

"Maybe this is one hell too many." Josiah added.

The statement caused the silence to fill the room again. No more words were spoken that night.

Ezra lay still. The noise of movement told him that the others were awake. He didn't want to talk to any of them, not now, not when yesterday's events were going through his mind. It took all of his control to stop his body from shuddering at the images and the sobs that wanted to escape his tortured soul. He had to deal with what happened and get on with his life. Living in this emotional state would only get him killed. Why didn't they kill him afterwards. He wouldn't be going through all of this shit if they had. He felt someone lean close to him and he twitched slightly. His body had given him away but if the observer had noticed he didn't say anything.

"He's thinking." Chris informed the others. He had checked on Ezra knowing that he was awake. The Southerner obviously didn't realise that his facial expressions were giving him away. His body was still but his face wasn't.

"Should he be doing that on his own." Buck asked him while he frowned at Ezra's still form.

"Going to have to at some point."

"But he's trying to do it on his own instead letting us help him." Buck argued with Chris.

"We know what we're doing Buck." Chris assured him.

Paul Sammat entered the room and Chris growled in response to the intrusion. Didn't the man know it was more polite to knock before you entered a room.

"Morning gentlemen." Sammat greeted them and continued to smile when they didn't respond in kind. "It's time Ezra and I talked."

"Guys." Chris nodded towards the door.

There was hesitation in their movements, neither man wanting to leave Ezra but they knew that Chris would protect him from anything this man would bring up. They each nodded to Ezra who was still pretending to be asleep, why they didn't know, then followed each other out of the room.

Buck paced. Vin paced. The other three sat on the floor in various positions. JD held his knees to his chest and was leaning against the wall. Josiah sat in a meditating position; no doubt praying for Ezra. Nathan was sitting cross legged watching the activity that moved up and down the hall.

They tried to wait patiently but it was extremely difficult. Josiah had lost count of the amount of times he coughed to get Buck or Vin's attention as they moved towards the door. He knew they wanted to go in, so did he but they had to give Ezra his privacy. He would accept one of them being there but not all of them, not when he was talking about what happened. Say it Josiah! Talk about being raped by men. It wasn't only Ezra that had to accept it, they had to as well. Their acceptance would help Ezra to accept and deal with the rape.

Buck stopped when he heard someone sniff. He knew it was JD. The boy wasn't dealing with what happened to his friend. JD respected all of them but mostly he respected Ezra. He seemed to be the only one that treated JD as an equal. The rest of them were to busy worrying about the twenty three year old to treat him the way he wanted to be treated. It wasn't that Ezra didn't care about JD, he did, he just knew how to treat him. Like a man.

The lady's man moved closer to his friend and room mate and sat down next to him. "You okay JD?"

JD nodded, he didn't want to cry in front of these men, they already thought of him as a child. And it also made him felt bad that he was needing comfort when Ezra was in there trying to deal with being raped by three men.

"No you're not, it's okay to cry for him JD. We all want to, it's just easier for you, you're still young enough not to hold it in."

JD nodded again and leaned into Buck's shoulder. He began to cry for Ezra, for what he went through and was going through. No man or woman deserved to be raped. Why Ezra? He'd already been through enough in his life, he didn't need anymore of this shit in his life. Ezra needed and deserved better. He had friends now, family but it wasn't enough to fill the void that had stayed with Ezra all his life. He felt Buck's arm surround his shoulders and accepted the comfort. He silently wished that Ezra had found it this easy.

"He'll be okay JD, he'll be okay." Buck was trying to convince himself as well as JD.

Now four men sat while one paced. The minutes had turned into hours. Two hours, twenty eight minutes and forty four seconds to be exact. Their eyes continued to look at either their watches or the clock down the hall.

Sammat came out of the room six minutes later. They didn't ask him anything, didn't even bother to acknowledge to him. They re-entered the room to find Chris sitting with his head in his hands and Ezra asleep in the bed. It didn't look good.

"Chris?" Vin stepped up to him and put his hand on his shoulder.

"He talked about it Vin, he actually talked about it. Josiah was right, he didn't have a choice this time. Knew he had to talk. Took two hours for him to start though. It was hell for him Vin, to go through it all again. Sammat said it was a good start but not enough, he needs to deal with his feelings now."

Vin couldn't help but notice how quickly Chris was talking, the man was losing control. "You want some coffee Chris?"

"Yeah, I need to get myself together before we go to the prison. He gave us the name of the man who instigated it all. He's going to pay for what he did to Ezra." Chris stood up. "When they finished, he was going to force Ezra to give him . . . head. That was when Ezra was able to react, he was on his back then and they were no longer holding him down. Why do that to a man? Why do it to a woman? Why do it to him?"

"Power trip Chris." Josiah sat opposite him on the other side of the bed.

"Sammat went through all that. He knew what he was doing, what to say, how to react."

"The man must be good at his job." Vin nodded.

"No, he'd been raped himself, told Ezra about his experience. I think that's why Ezra finally talked. He was speaking to a person who knew what he'd been through, knew what he was feeling and thinking. He's coming back tomorrow to talk to him."

"Oh, and here we were thinking he was an asshole." Buck joked.

"Come on Vin, we've got some rapists to deal with." Chris stood up and left the room.

None of them failed to notice the red rimmed eyes that he had been hiding from them.

The separate visiting room was small. A table was centred in the room, two chairs on either side of it. The walls were bare, no furnishings to make it look nice. Lawyers spoke to their clients. Prisoners lied in this room, some lawyers believed them and got the guilty to leave the jail as innocent victims. Some clients spoke the truth to lawyers who didn't believe and they spent time in a cell when they should rightfully be with their families.

Vin leaned against the back wall, his left heel pressing against it level with his right knee. He watched as Chris paced the room, much like he had done most of the morning. His friend had drunk too much coffee before and after they arrived at the prison. He had to force Chris to give up his gun. Of course Chris had to ask the most obvious question. 'Why, they have guns.'

The door opened and Vin's respect for his boss grew. He was expecting Chris to kill the guy on the spot. Instead he watched as the overweight Hauton walked to the table and sat down in the chair. The man crossed his arms. Like that was going to help him Vin thought to himself.

Chris sat down in the empty chair and simply watched until Hauton began to twitch and sweat. He knew the ape was trying to out do him but no one could out stubborn Chris Larabee, except maybe for one Ezra Standish but that won't happen for a while.

"You want something?" Hauton asked him. He had no idea why he was here and he didn't want to ask.

"You raped one of my men." Chris told him.

"Excuse me?"

Chris stayed silent for a few minutes then repeated himself. "You raped one of my men."

"Says who? And what do you mean one of your men?" Hauton was getting scared.

Again the silence, it was meant to unnerve the man and it was succeeding.

"I say." Chris told him then leaned forward in his chair. "Good looking guy, muscled body, soft skin, green eyes, dimples when he smiles, Southern accent."

Recognition wrote itself all over Hauton's face. "What are you? His pimp?"

"No," Chris said calmly, "I'm his boss."

Hauton wanted more information but he didn't ask, he knew he wouldn't get an answer, this man was taking his time.

Chris stood up and made his way around the table, he sat on the edge of it so he was closer to Hauton. "I'm ATF and so is he."

"Ah shit!" Hauton didn't see it coming. The fist struck and it hit him hard. The force knocked him and the chair backwards. The next think he felt was the boot that kick his side.

"You raped my friend, beat him and left him lying on the floor." Chris kicked him again. He knew he had the freedom to. An arrangement had been made with Henly. The warden wasn't going to allow anyone to interrupt unless the asshole's life was in danger and even then they were ordered to hesitate before going in. "Did you enjoy it?"

"What?" Hauton gasped.

"You and your two friends, did you enjoy it?" Chris asked him again.

He refused to answer, even after he was kicked two more times. "Will someone help me here!" he yelled out to the guard who was supposed to be in the room with them. That's when it hit him. They were allowing the ATF agent to do this to him, they were giving him time for payback.

"I didn't know he was ATF." he stammered.

"So it's okay to rape prisoners is it?" Chris was disgusted.

"Yes." another kick. "No." he corrected himself.

"Then why do you do it?"

"I don't know." he screamed when the boot connected with his groin, then again a second time.

"I should damage this to the point where it won't work anymore?" Chris leaned down closer to him and spat in his face. "Huh, think I should cut your dick off!?"

"NO!"

"I want the names of the other two men and the guards who allowed it to happen."

"I can't give you the names of the guards, they'll kill me!" Hauton yelled at him.

Chris straightened up and allowed the cruel smile to crease his handsome features. He pulled a pen from his pocket and began to twist the silver clip. It only took a few seconds. He leaned back towards the scum that had raped his friend and placed the clip in front of his eyes, making sure he saw the ragged edge.

"Sharp enough to cut it off don't you think."

"You wouldn't."

"You raped a good friend of mine. Why would you think I wouldn't do this?"

Every instinct told Hauton that this man wouldn't hesitate. The only thing that would stop him would be the people who came running in when he started screaming. Would they be quick enough to save him? No, he didn't think they would.

"Josh Hendricks, Daryl Peters. The guards were Henry Sameson and Bill James."

"Maybe I'll just cut it off anyway." Chris began to make his move.

"GOD NO!"

"Doesn't feel good does it?"

"Jesus!"

Chris stood up and walked to the door. He banged on it with his fist. A few seconds later the door opened and two guards entered to take the weeping prisoner away.

"Wish I could have joined in on the fun." Vin clapped his hands showing his enjoyment of the act.

"I would have done it." Chris admitted.

"I wouldn't have blamed you."

Chris sat down again. At least they had the men who did it. Charges would be laid against the prisoners. the guards though would probably just lose their jobs. They can take care of the two guards another time.

"You sure you still want to talk to Lawden?"

"Yeah, Ezra wanted me to let Lawden know that he was okay." Chris nodded.

Vin didn't change his position when the younger man entered the room. Both men were shocked. This guy must have been JD's age. Skinny, good looking with short blonde hair and brown eyes. His face held a mix of bruises, some new and some old. They couldn't help but stare as the man sat down in the chair. His body language spoke volumes. He was the walking dead. There was nothing inside, no emotion, nothing. He continued to live on the outerside but inside he was dead.

"Kyle?"

The brown eyes looked up at Chris.

"I'm a friend of Larry's."

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he will be, he wanted me to let you know that. Said you'd be worried about him."

"My fault it happened to him, he tried to help me, they took him instead. It should have been me, I'm use to it."

"It's not something you get use to Kyle."

"Still, it shouldn't have happened to Larry. He was the only friend I had in this place. Got me through the day."

Chris smiled. That was Ezra all right, never worried about himself, always helping others. It was about time he turned some of the help he gave others towards himself. He needed to think of Ezra Standish for a while.

"Will he be coming back?"

"No, I'm sorry, he's going somewhere else."

"Somewhere safer."

Chris looked down at his hands. He wanted the same for this young man. Lawden had only been in the room for a few minutes but he was easily liked. But you could also see that he was suffering. He would talk to the Judge, see what he could do for him.

"Is there anything you need or want."

"I would like to go now." Kyle stood up.

Chris noticed a change in his body language but couldn't understand what it meant.

They watched as he knocked on the door then leave when it was opened for him.

"Damn." Vin said what they were both thinking.

Sammat spent a lot of time with Ezra over the next few days. His friends could see a slight improvement when it came to his emotional state. The speech that was once slow was now back to normal. His green eyes were clearing, the haunted look was leaving, it was a slow process but he was moving forward. Sammat had informed them that Ezra still had a long way to go, it would still take a few more weeks of regular sessions then he wanted to see him at least once a month. Travis had agreed, the ATF would pay the expenses for Ezra to return once a month. Anything to get the undercover agent back.

Ezra sat alone in the patient's recreation room. The others were close but they were giving him the privacy he needed. They could be with him twenty four hours a day for the rest of his life. Maybe every night for the rest of his life but not the days. The nightmares were still there, they always will be but they would lesson and become rare.

The sun shone through the window, the warmth causing a slight sheen of sweat to form on his forehead. But he wasn't willing to move out of the light. It felt right to him, normal and that's what he wanted. Normal. It helped him. His friends, family now, had been good for him. They were there when he needed them, they left him alone when he needed solace. He couldn't understand why he had been afraid of them, why he would think they would be angry at him for what happened. He'd been stupid. But Paul had told him that it was natural to react that way and that he was lucky to have such good friends that stood by him. Not a lot of people had that in life.

Ezra would never doubt his friends again. Never.

He didn't turn when he heard footsteps coming towards him, he knew who it was by the sound that was being made by the cowboy boots. A chair scraped against the floor and Ezra winced at the irritating sound. The man was never quite.

"How you doin' Ezra?" Chris asked him as he struggled to pull the heavy chair closer to his friend.

"Don't really know Chris." Ezra answered honestly.

"Physically?"

"If you mean can I have a crap without pain, then yes I'm feeling better." Ezra looked away from the window.

"Yep that's what I mean." Chris nodded in sympathy. He had no idea what the pain had been like. He wanted to know but Ezra wouldn't tell him. Chris wanted to know everything that Ezra was going through. Not for selfish reasons but because it would help him to help Ezra.

"Where's everyone else?"

Chris looked over his shoulder to see Vin peeking around the corner. "Out there, you ready for company yet?"

"No, just need some peace and quiet for a while."

"I'll shut up then shall I."

Ezra smiled, he couldn't help it. Chris was making him feel better, he couldn't explain why. Perhaps it was because he knew Chris had once gone through a traumatic event. It wasn't the same but the feelings were similar.

"Thanks Chris."

"That's okay Ezra."

"For being here, all of you, for being here." he looked back out of the window when he heard the siren, the ambulance came speeding into his view then slowed down. The siren stopped abruptly. Ezra sighed when he thought about the occupant that must have died in the vehicle. "I thought you would have run a mile when you found out. I didn't trust you to understand. But you did, I should have known better. I won't make that mistake again Chris."

"It's understandable not to trust anyone under those circumstances Ezra." Chris nodded, he understood with all his heart. He hadn't trusted anyone, not even Buck, after his family was murdered. "You were scared, you still are and will be for a while."

"Scared, that's a joke. I didn't even feel that scared when I stayed with relatives. There were two in particular that use to enjoy beating me. Nothing serious but enough to cause me to take a few days off school so no one would question the bruises." he looked sideways at Chris. "I'd never been so scared in my life Chris, when I knew what was going to happen I froze, I was terrified, I couldn't fight back anymore, I let them do that to me."

"First of all Ezra, it's okay to be scared, you have every right to be. And secondly, they had you pinned down in a certain way so you were incapable of fighting back. It's not that you let them Ezra, you couldn't stop them. None of us would have been able to stop them."

"But it wasn't any of you, it was me."

"I'm sorry Ezra, you know if we could change places I would in a heart beat."

"I know Chris."

They fell silent. Chris looked over his shoulder to see Vin talking to the Judge. He didn't like the look on Vin's face, he kept turning to look at Ezra. What the hell was going on now? He was about to find out, Vin was walking towards him.

Vin walked slowly, he didn't want to do this. He had broken the news to the guys about what had happened and now he was bringing more bad news for Ezra. The Southerner wasn't going to take it well, they he knew and understood. Why would he? The young man had become a friend in a hell hole that didn't hold any true friendships, only alliances.

Chris stayed silent while Vin moved to the window and sat on the ledge. The Texan was facing Ezra, the expression on his face said it all. The news was bad and Ezra wasn't going to like it.

"Ezra." Vin waited until he had Ezra's attention. "The Judge just informed me . . . " he stopped when he saw the look in Ezra's eyes, he couldn't do this. Vin looked at Chris who was frowning in confusion. No, he didn't have a choice, he couldn't take Chris out of the room and tell him so he could then break it to Ezra. "Kyle Lawden died this morning, he got a gun from somebody in the prison, shot and killed Jacob Hauton then turned the gun on himself. I'm sorry Ezra."

Ezra nodded, he knew Vin was sorry, they all would be.

"Ezra,"

"I'm okay, just need some time alone." Ezra assured them.

"You sure?" Chris asked him.

"Yeah, . . . I'm . . ." but he wasn't. He couldn't stop the large sob that escaped him. Damn it, the boy was so young, he didn't deserve that kind of life, or the kind of death he had given himself. His shoulders heaved then slowed as he fought to control himself. A hand was placed on his shoulder and he pushed it off. Anger was beginning to replace the tears. If he had done his job he would have caught the man responsible and Kyle would still be alive.

"Ezra, it's okay." Chris told him as he tried to put his arm back again.

"No it's not okay!" Ezra shoved Chris away.

He stood up quickly pushing the chair he had been sitting on away. His feet began to walk backwards when he saw Chris and Vin coming towards him.

"Ezra . . . "

"Get away from me . . . get the hell away from me!" he picked up the chair he had pushed away and threw it without thinking.

Chris and Vin saw what was about to happen and managed to get out of the way just as the chair flew past them close enough for them to feel it's angered breath.

But Ezra's anger grew, it was aimed at himself, at the men who had raped him, at Kyle for taking the easy way out, at his friends who didn't understand what he was feeling. He began to pick up anything that was within reach and throw it at the two men who were trying to help him.

Chris and Vin could only duck and weave as they tried to protect themselves from the flying objects that for some unknown reason to them were being thrown at them.

"Come on Ezra, take it easy, there's no reason to throw things at us." Vin tried to use his hands in a gesture of surrender to calm the man down. The only useful things the hands did were to protect him from a magazine holder. He swore loud enough to be heard by the angry man but it didn't stop Ezra from continuing what he was doing.

"Ezra stop it!" Chris ordered him.

"Get out!" Ezra retorted.

"Ezra I know your angry . . . "

"What the fuck do you know!" Ezra yelled as he searched for something to throw. "Nothing! Fucking nothing is what you know."

"No I don't Ezra, I don't know how you feel, what it felt like . . . "

"Felt like?! Is that what you want to know?! Is that what you want me to tell you?!"

Three men burst into the room, two orderlies and one doctor. The noise had been heard and reported to the nurses station. Ezra saw them immediately and his first reaction was to run, under normal circumstances he would stand and fight, but things weren't normal at the moment. He had no where to go, only a corner to flee into. He collapsed to the ground and covered his head with his hands.

Chris saw the reaction and ran to intercept the three men. Vin was right by his side and the two of them struggled to stop the muscled men from reaching their friend.

"Leave him be!" Chris yelled at them.

Vin was thrown to the side. They didn't care about the two men trying to stop them. Their main concern was the agitated patient, they needed to get him quiet before he upset the other patients on the floor. One orderly struggled with Chris. Vin got back to his feet and ran towards Ezra. There was no need. Buck and Josiah and appeared out of no where and were protecting Ezra with their bodies. They could hear the fearful whimpers of their friend and did their best to ignore him. If they were distracted then they would be removed and the goons would then get to Ezra. And that wasn't what they wanted.

Chris found himself pinned to the ground by the heavy orderly, there was nothing more he could do for Ezra, his head was turned the wrong way so he couldn't even see what was happening. The weight suddenly left his body and he jumped up to continue the fight only to find Nathan and JD warning him off. He ignored them and moved quickly to Ezra. Nathan and JD joined the human wall that was protecting the Southerner. No one was getting past them.

"Ezra." Chris knew it was going to be hard to get through to his friend.

Ezra was pushing himself backwards as though he was hoping the wall would swallow him up. It wouldn't. Fear was written all over his face, no, it was more like terror and Chris hadn't seen anything like it on the handsome countenance since he'd known Ezra. Chris moved closer, their protectors were now behind him. Making sure that he wasn't too close, Chris sat down, one leg was underneath him, the other bent in case he had to move quickly. He may need to protect himself or Ezra quickly.

"Ezra, talk to me."

The frightened man shook his head.

"Was he a friend?" he knew he was but he had to try something else, ask him something, anything to get him talking.

"He was just a kid Chris . . . JD's age . . . if I did my job instead . . . "

"It wasn't your fault Ezra, you didn't put him in there, you didn't rape him almost every night, you didn't give him the gun."

"I should have done something . . . I should . . . "

"I had the same thought Ezra," the green eyes looked up at him in confusion, "when I spoke to him a few of days ago, my first thought was to talk to the Judge, try and get him out of there. I haven't spoken to him yet, I should have done it sooner. The world is full of should have's and if I's, but sometimes there is nothing we can do to prevent something from happening Ezra. You can't take responsibility for something that you couldn't stop."

"He was just a kid, if he had a different life, he could have been JD."

"I know Ezra, but not everyone gets the chances that JD had and does."

"No, they don't." Ezra looked down and saw the position he was still struggling to get into. He could feel the wall pressing against his back. The green eyes looked upwards and saw the group of men that were surrounding him. He couldn't help but smile, he had friends, good friends that would always take care of him. "I must look like an idiot."

"Well, yeah, you do a bit." Chris smiled back at him.

"Did I hit anyone?"

"No, you have a lousy throwing arm."

"Chris," Ezra took a breath then spoke again, "it was my intention to miss, I was afraid that with your bad reflexes, you would have jumped in front of a moving object."

"Whatever makes you feel better Ezra." Chris reached out to help Ezra up. A strong grip was returned and he pulled the Southerner to his feet. He held on as the trembling legs took their time to steady themselves.

Ezra didn't reply. 'Whatever made him feel better'. He knew what would but would the others allow him to do it.

"Let's get you back to bed before these imbeciles do their job."

"That's no way to talk about your men Mr Larabee."

"You feeling okay now Ezra?" Vin asked as the two men walked passed them.

"No." was the simple statement.

Vin nodded anyway. The man may not be feeling any better but at least he was no longer throwing things at him.

This time the silence was different. It wasn't through depression, or anger but because of thought. The undercover agent was thinking, planning something and Chris knew he wasn't going to like it. He had an idea of what was going on inside Ezra's mind and he wanted to put a stop to it. To slap some sense into him but he wouldn't dare raise a fist to him, not under any circumstances. Obviously there were times that he wanted to, but he didn't, wouldn't. He always found other ways to deal with the sometimes irritating man.

Vin stood by his side, he also knew that something was going on. They were just waiting for Ezra to say it. He was going to say no as soon as the Southerner opened his mouth. It wasn't going to happen. Not now and not later. Someone else could do it. He would even do it. Anything to stop Ezra from doing what he wanted.

Sammat had left Ezra only a few minutes ago. Chris wanted to know what he had said. Yes or no. If he said yes then there was going to be hell to pay. How did he know what was best for Ezra. He didn't, he wasn't a friend, he didn't know what Ezra had been through most of his life.

Chris and Vin watched from the doorway of the hospital room. Ezra was packing the few things that he had with him, things that they had brought in for him. The doctor had given him permission to leave. He had healed enough physically. Even the physical disturbance he had created a few days ago hadn't done any extra damage to his ribs. If there was one thing about Ezra Standish, it was that he healed quickly. His body was use to physical trauma, his mind also. It was the emotional trauma that he wasn't use to, it took longer to heal.

Ezra turned to face the two men, his carry bag was held in his right hand. He was ready, if he didn't do it now he never would.

"I want to go . . . "

"No!" Chris and Vin spoke together. They knew what Ezra was going to say and they both and the same answer to the question they didn't want to hear.

"But I haven't finished what I was going to say."

"We knew what you wanted to say and the answer is still no."

"I have to do it Chris . . . "

"No!" the two men said together again.

"Can I at least finish what I want to say?"

"No!"

"Jesus Chris, I thought you would help me get back the control that I lost!" Ezra growled at him.

"That's not going to do it Ezra."

"Paul said it would."

"Sammat's an asshole."

"He may be an asshole but he understands, he's been through it, you haven't. He knows I need to do this, if I don't I'm not going to be any good to you. I'll be scared for the rest of my life."

"But I can't protect you in there Ezra."

"That's the idea Chris."

"I can't let you go back Ezra, I won't."

"You don't have a choice Chris, Paul is going to talk to the Judge, I'm sure he'll allow me to go back in."

"What if something happens Ezra?" Vin asked him. "How do you think we'll feel knowing that we let you back in there and something else happened."

"This isn't about you Vin, or Chris, or any of the others. This is about me. I need to get control of my life back. I don't want to stay scared, I can't live like this. I need my job, I need you guys, without them I'm nothing. I have to do it."

"Who's idea was it? Yours or his?"

"It's my idea Chris, Sammat isn't that smart, just understanding." Ezra smiled.

"I don't like, I don't agree with it, I don't want you going back there. But if the Judge allows it, I won't have a choice will I?"

"No."

Chris nodded. He didn't understand, didn't want to. He was afraid for his friend. Ezra would be alone in there. Alone with his fears. What if something did happen. He prayed that it wouldn't.

"Let's get you back to the hotel. Go over it."

Ezra moved forward and stopped next to Chris. "Thanks."

"Don't thank me Ezra, I hate the idea." Chris pushed him out of the room and sighed at Vin. What could they do. Again, they could do nothing.

The door cell slammed shut, the lights went out. But Ezra knew he wasn't alone. There were other men in the cell with him and he knew what they wanted. He ran to the door that prevented his escape and began to scream for help. There was no help coming, not even his friends. They didn't want him to come back here, they knew this would happen, why didn't he. A hand grabbed his shoulder and he screamed even louder.

Ezra jerked awake. For a moment he didn't know where he was, then the familiar snoring of Buck Wilmington assured him that he was okay. He sat up and flung the damp sheets off his trembling body. His eyes searched the room for what he knew would be there, six men in different positions. Some sleeping and others watching him.

"You okay?" Chris moved to the bed and sat down.

"Yeah, a dream." Ezra answered then rubbed his face with the palms of his hands. "Just a dream."

"Want to talk about it?"

"It was going to happen again, there was more of them this time." Ezra told him.

"That's what I'm afraid of happening." Chris admitted. "I don't want you going back into that prison Ezra. None of us do."

"I don't want to either Chris but I have to."

"You don't have to Ezra."

"That's what you don't understand Chris, I have to do it."

"Because of Kyle?"

"No," Ezra began to play with the sheets, "for me Chris, for me."

Chris nodded. "Go back to sleep Ezra, you're going to have a long day tomorrow."

Ezra lay back down on his side and closed his eyes, he wasn't going to go back to sleep. Neither was Chris, in fact the leader wasn't going to be able to sleep until it was over and he knew his agent was safe and back with his team in Denver.

Chris' mind was in turmoil, it was also full of fear. He had watched as Ezra had been returned to the prison. He had walked through the door in chains with four guards surrounding him. He was able to see the fear in Ezra's body language. If only he could have gone in his place. The haunted look had returned to the green eyes that morning and Chris wanted to do anything and everything that he could to stop the undercover agent from going back. But he didn't want to go against Ezra's wishes, it's what the man wanted, he only wished that Ezra would come out of it unharmed, emotionally and physically.

The vehicle he now sat in was parked far enough away so that it wouldn't be noticed but close enough for him to be there within seconds if he received an unwanted phone call. He glanced to his side, Vin sat there reading the morning newspaper, a half drunk cup of coffee sat on the dashboard. The flask was nearly empty but he knew the others would arrive soon with more supplies.

Ezra had now been in there for nearly five hours and as each minute passed Chris was grateful that his mobile hadn't rung. He began to fidget, move things then put them back again. If he could pace he would. The sound of a rustling newspaper caught his attention, he knew it was Vin's way of telling him to keep still. He ignored him and began to slap his hands against his thighs then look at his watch again. This time the rustling was louder, an agitated sound that warned him of something more violent that was forthcoming. He still ignored the warning. Whistle, that's what he'd do. Only a few simple notes had been issued from his lips when a closed fist hit him hard on his upper arm.

"Shut up, sit still, or get out!" Vin told him.

"And who made you boss?"

"You did when you said I could come with you. Now shut the hell up, I'm trying to read the paper!"

"O . . . kay!"

Read the paper my ass, you're just as worried as I am.

"So what if I am, I have a right to be, now leave it alone."

Chris jumped in surprise, he knew the Texan often read his mind but not like this. Sometimes it was uncanny. The man was weird. He decided to shut up and stay still but it was hard, very hard and he didn't know how many more hours he would be sitting here. He hoped that it wasn't for long.

Ezra lay on the bottom bunk and stared up at the bed above him. The fear he felt gripped his heart within a tight fist. He watched for any type of movement that told him the man above him was moving, that he was going to jump off the bed and come for him. A scream of no made him sit up quickly and stare through the bars to the outer area, it was happening to someone else and the only thing he thought was that he was grateful it wasn't happening to him. He regretted that he had made the decision to do this. Why couldn't Chris have been more forceful and physically restrain him from returning to this hell hole.

So far he had been safe. Most of the day was spent working in the library where the prisoners were much older. He had received knowing looks all day, they knew what had happened to him. Some winked at him and licked their lowers lips, others grabbed their crotch and shook it in front of him. But most of the expressions he had received were sympathetic. Ezra silently wondered how long he was going to have to stay here before someone approached him about protection. He'd already spent more time in here than he wanted to. It was still a few hours until the morning and another day of hell and he spent the remainder of those hours in total fear of what might happen again.

One of the men who had raped him was now dead and the other two did not know his true identity. When Hanley was told that he was returning they were transferred to another cell block. The two guards that had allowed it to happen were fired on the day. Travis had arranged for them to be charged with accessory to rape, he didn't think it would stick but he knew it would put the fear of God into them knowing that they may end up in the same position as Ezra had been and was again.

The new day finally dawned, it had seemed like days to Ezra instead of a few hours. The doors would open soon and he was going to have to shower with these men. Fuck! Why did he come back? The hour passed agonisingly slow for Ezra Standish and his mind took the opportunity to replay in his mind what had happened. If Chris were here right now he would grab onto him and never let go. He was terrified, scared shitless. If it happened again, he wouldn't survive, he wouldn't allow himself to.

The cell doors were opened and the familiar sound of a trudgen banging the bars came closer to his cell. It stopped when Jeffery Thomas reached his cell.

"Well, if it ain't the pretty boy. Thought you weren't coming back, I'm sure there will be some people here that would be happy to see you."

Ezra cringed in terror and Thomas saw the fear in his eyes. He winked at the prisoner then moved on.

The undercover agent frowned, there was a knowing look behind the wink, something comforting or so he thought. Maybe Thomas knew who he was but he wasn't going to confront him about it just in case.

Ezra stepped out of the cell and joined the line as it made it's way to the showers. Once there he stripped like everyone else, he didn't have a choice. As he washed himself he could notice some of the others watching him. He felt shame and disgust towards his body. No, it wasn't his fault, it was theirs. That's what Sammat had told him. He wasn't asking them to look or admire or touch. He wasn't encouraging it. He purposely took a little longer to shower, he had to, he needed to get over his fear and this was the place to do it. No one came near him, he was grateful but it didn't mean it wouldn't happen tomorrow.

Breakfast was the same, a few men sat with him but they left him alone. They didn't acknowledge him or talk to him. It was as though they were afraid of catching something. They wouldn't, his tests had come back negative which the doctor had said was a small miracle. The man had expected at least some sort of sexual disease to be found. Ezra had almost hit him but a stab of fear at doing so had stopped him. He had never been afraid to confront someone physically, it had been the first time it had happened. It had made him feel sick to the stomach.

The morning he spent in the library was quiet but he hadn't failed to notice that Thomas was one of the guards on duty. Ezra knew it wasn't right, the man usually guarded the workshop. Ezra was becoming worried, this man was after him, he had noticed the way he had looked at him from day one and if anyone was going to hurt him, Thomas would be able to do it without being interrupted. He made sure that he stayed close to the other prisoners, they may be old but hopefully they would do something to help him.

Ezra was packing the last of the books away when he was confronted. Thomas stood between the bookshelves stopping Ezra from escaping. Ezra's heart stopped, at least it felt as though it had stopped. The sudden noise of it beating within his skull told him he was still alive. He wished only for a quick death.

"Heard you had a hard time with Hauton." he smiled at the fear the prisoner before him held in his eyes. "Lawden took care of him for you. Seems you didn't have the guts to do it yourself."

Ezra didn't say anything, he couldn't. The fear that was running through him caused his throat to constrict to the point that it was even difficult to breath.

Thomas removed a small gun from under his shirt. "Thought you might want a bit of protection, that's if you have the guts to use it."

The undercover agent looked at the gun first then at the face in front of him. This was the man who had given Kyle the weapon to end his life. The fear was suddenly replaced by anger and he charged the guard who had killed by giving prisoners a weapon to use. The innocent father who had killed himself also came to the forefront of his mind.

Vin was sleeping, and 'was' is the correct term. He'd been on stakeouts before with Chris but he'd never been so irritating. Could he blame him? No and yes. He knew Chris was worried sick about Ezra, they all were, but, he, it's just, he's being so damn irritating. His sleep had been restless, and when dawn finally arrived he didn't want to wake up. That's how bad it had been. He pulled the thick blanket up higher and turned away from the questioning glance he knew was being aimed at him. What the hell did he want this time?

"Think he's okay in there?" Chris knew Vin wasn't asleep, neither of them had been able to sleep.

"Hope so." Vin answered without opening his eyes.

"Think he's going to be okay in there?"

"Hope so."

"Think he's going to come out of it okay?"

"Hope so."

"Got anything else to say?"

"Hope so."

Vin wasn't any help but having him here with him was a sort of comfort. The others had constantly come and gone. They wouldn't phone, somehow they had know they would scare the shit out of Chris and Vin if either of their mobiles began to ring.

"Think I should ring Henly and check on him?"

"If it would make your feel any better but I doubt Henly's in yet."

"Oh, okay." Chris nodded. "I'll call him when he gets in."

Vin gave up, he wasn't going to get any sleep now. The man next to him wasn't going to allow him to get any. He pushed the blanket away, actually tossed it at his friend. "I hate it too Chris but it's what he wants. We have to let him finish it."

"But I don't want it!"

"He doesn't care."

"Never does, about himself that is."

"That's Ezra for you, always thinks of others first."

"Just wish he would think about himself for a change." Chris poured some coffee and handed the cup to Vin.

"Chris," Vin turned to face him, "this time Ezra is thinking about himself."

Thomas was too shocked to react, he thought the man was afraid of his own shadow. He raised the gun but the smaller body slammed into him causing him to take a few steps backwards. But his bulk stopped him from falling. He used a powerful blow with the butt of the gun to remove his attacker.

Ezra fell to the floor but didn't stay there for very long. He stood up and glared at the man before him. He was going to take him down, even if he had to die doing it. Ezra forced his body to relax, he needed to be calm. His smaller frame wasn't going to beat Thomas physically, he would have to out think him. Which was something Ezra had to do most of his life. Bullies had always been taller or heavier than him but he found a way around that.

He faked a punch to the left and when Thomas moved to duck the blow Ezra kicked out with his left foot. It landed heavily into the guard's stomach. He bent over gasping for breath. The Southerner kicked out again, this time the heel of his boot slammed against the unprotected jaw of the gun supplier. Thomas was knocked off his feet.

Ezra waited without realising that Thomas was faking as well. A foot kicked out and knocked Ezra's feet out from under him. He fell to the floor. Before he could get up again a strong hand gripped his throat and pulled him to his feet. Ezra struggled against the hold. Thomas moved quickly towards the wall taking Ezra with him. Ezra was slammed up against the wall, the breath was forced unwillingly from his lungs. He panicked, he couldn't help it, the fear of what might happen terrified him.

"It was a pity Lawden died, I always got a good price for turning my back for that one."

Ezra threw his head forward, he knew it wouldn't be a strong blow but hopefully it would weaken the hold on his throat. It did. He forced his arms upwards knocking Thomas' hands away. He threw a right uppercut that barely made any difference. He repeated the move. This time the lip he hit split, the blood ran from it down the chin and onto the uniformed shirt.

Thomas hit out with his own fist and it connected. Ezra's head snapped back and hit the wall. He struggled to stand on his feet. Another fist struck his jaw and he collapsed into a heap.

"Think maybe I should teach you a lesson, what some more of what Hauton gave you?" he kicked Ezra's side. "Well, you want some more of this . . . "

Ezra kicked out, this time he heard cartilage give way when his boot connected with Thomas' knee. The howl of pain told him he had succeed in defeating his opponent. The man wouldn't be able to fight well enough with a damaged knee. Or so Ezra thought.

Thomas bent down and struck Ezra across the face with his trudgen. Ezra yelled at himself, how stupid could he be to have forgotten that weapon. Stars danced in front of his eyes and he felt the blow against his shoulder. He had to get up or he was going to be defeated and he knew what that would mean. His right fist caught the stick before it could strike again. When Thomas tried to pull it away from him Ezra used the momentum to help pull himself to his feet. He kicked the injured knee a second time, it allowed him to pull the weapon from Thomas' hands. Then he used it. After three forceful blows to the skull Thomas fell to the floor and stayed there. The Southerner stood over him, his chest heaving as he struggled to breath. The weapon fell from his hands. He stepped over the guard and picked up the gun that had fallen from the victim's hand. Victim, he was no longer the victim, not anymore.

Ezra walked away until he reached a corner. He slid to the floor and stared at the unconscious man before him. If he had done this earlier Kyle would still be alive. A feeling of strength filled him but the fear was still there. Sammat had told him it would be there for a long time but it wouldn't be strong enough to stop him from doing his job. Not once he accepted what had happened. He had gained some control of his life back. This was now over for him but not for the other men in this prison.

Vin was ready to hit him, he'd never done it before, said he never would but this was different. This was infuriating, Larabee was literally driving him nuts. His fist was clenched and ready to strike the first blow. First was right, he knew Chris would retaliate, why wouldn't he. He would just have to beat him before Chris beat the crap out of him.

A mobile began to ring. Each man jumped, swore and checked their phones. Chris answered his.

"Larabee!" he held his breath then released it. "What already? Damn that man can work quick when he wants to." he listened for a few more seconds while trying to fight Vin off. "He okay?" a few more seconds passed and he smiled at the threatening clenched fist that appeared in front of his face. "We'll be there in a couple of minutes. Leave him be until we get there. He's ours to take care of." he hung up and looked out the window.

"Well!" Vin practically yelled him.

Chris sighed, he was going to take his time, teach the sharp shooter a lesson, it was Vin's fault, the damn man could be so irritating at times. Chris didn't know why he allowed him to come, if the phone hadn't rung he would have hit him.

"Ezra's fine. One of the guards approached him and offered him a gun. Ezra lost it, beat the crap out of him."

"Shit!" Vin groaned.

"Let's go get him shall we and take him home."

"What are you waiting for? My permission. Shit, you're a pain in the ass, anyone tell you that?"

"What do you mean me? Your the one that's a pain in the ass Tanner, and a big one at that, sometimes I feel like I've got a gigantic splinter in my butt . . . hold on a sec, that's Ezra. Jesus, I got two of you. No wonder I'm in such a bad mood all the time."

"You going to complain all day or are you going to drive?"

"Shut the fuck up!"

Chris and Vin stepped into the library. They expected to find a mess but none was forthcoming. The fight had taken place in a corner at the back of the room. The warden led them towards their friend. They found Ezra sitting in a corner holding onto a gun. Chris felt the fear run through him and he almost panicked. A nudge from Vin got him moving. Once again he sat down in front of Ezra, this time cross legged.

"You got him then Ezra."

Ezra looked up at the sound of Chris' voice. He smiled, but the movement didn't stretch enough to show his dimples. He may have caught the bad guy but he wasn't happy. He nodded.

"You want to give me that?"

Ezra handed the gun over to his boss without an argument.

"I was scared Chris, didn't think I could do it for a minute there, then he mentioned Kyle. Guess I got a bit angry."

"A bit. The guy's got a broken knee and a cracked skull."

"If I let him beat me he would have . . . " Ezra drew his knees up to his chest.

"It's okay Ezra. Me, I would have killed him."

"I wanted to." Ezra said seriously.

"But you didn't." Chris told him. "Your not like him Ezra."

"No . . . " he shook his head.

"Let's get you out of here Ezra, there's no need for you to stay any longer. The local police will wrap it up, come and take a statement from you tomorrow. You can do your report when you get home."

Ezra nodded and allowed Chris and Vin to help him get to his feet. They led him out of the library and through the various doors until they were outside. Chris held onto Ezra's arm tightly, he could feel the tremors that were starting. His friend was probably going to suffer from shock, a delayed reaction. He would have to get Nathan to check him over. Then again maybe not, Nathan might decide that it was better for Ezra to stay in bed for a couple of days. Chris didn't want that. He would allow Ezra to talk to Sammat and then they were leaving. Ezra wasn't going to stay in Tucson any longer than he had to. When they reached the car Vin got into the driver's seat and Chris followed Ezra into the back.

The man was now visibly shaking. Chris reached forward and accepted the blanket that Vin was handing to him. He tucked it around Ezra's shoulders and under his chin. He was going to lose it, Chris could see it in Ezra's eyes. Good, it was what he needed.

Ezra searched the car for something to occupy his mind. He was losing control, he knew it. The rubbish in the car was something that he could use.

"You been living here long?"

"Only since you went back in, wanted to stay close to you." Chris explained to him.

"Uh huh, not what I would have . . . chosen . . . "

Chris listened as Ezra's voice broke. He wrapped his arm around the Southerner's shoulders and pulled him close as the tears began to fall.

"It's over Ezra."

Vin twisted in his seat, he reached out and squeezed Ezra's knee in a touch of comfort. He couldn't see the anguished features of his friend, Chris had buried Ezra's head with his free arm. Ezra's shoulders shook in a show of emotion.

"It's over Ezra." Chris repeated to him and pulled him even closer, he held on tightly knowing that it was what Ezra needed. "Vin," Chris nodded to him.

Vin returned the nod, he started the car and drove out of the car park and away from the prison.

His bare feet enjoyed the feel of the long grass that surrounded them, the toes wiggled and played with the long pieces of green foliage. The boots he had been wearing lay by his side. The men who had accompanied him now stood by the car. They understood that he wanted and needed some time alone. Chris had allowed them to leave the hotel early so he could do this. When his time was up he would be taken home. It's what he wanted, he couldn't and didn't want to stay here. But it had been arranged without his permission for him to come back once a month and talk to Paul Sammat. Ezra thought it was something that he could have done over the phone but the man had insisted that it be in person.

Sleep had eluded him that night and he was paying for it. His eyelids were heavy, their need to close and cover the green orbs was strong. Too often he was assaulted by a fit of yawning. He wanted to sleep, for a month if he could but his nightmares wouldn't allow it. Neither would Chris, his boss had insisted that he spend the next few weeks at his ranch. Chris didn't want him living alone, Ezra had silently agreed. The thought of being alone, especially at night scared him. It was going to take time to adjust, to accept and deal with what had happened, to deal with being raped.

Ezra knew he still had at least twenty minutes, he lay down on his back, the grass causing his neck it itch. He ignored it and lay his hands on his stomach. The smell of fresh flowers wafted into his nasal passages, he had brought them with him and placed it at the grave site of Kyle Lawden. The young man hadn't had any relatives, no one had been there to see him buried. They had put him the ground quickly, not knowing that there was one person who had wanted to be there. But he was here now, that was the important thing. Ezra had spoken to Kyle for almost an hour and now he was content to lay beside him.

Someone sat down beside him, he didn't have to look, he knew who it was. Chris had been there for him, so had the others but for some reason Chris understood. He knew about some of the emotions he had felt. Knew what to say to him and how to say it. The others had stayed back to allow Chris to do what was needed, but they had comforted him in their own way. Each man different in their way, Ezra had been grateful. They made him smile, laugh, eat and sleep. Some even aggravated him just to get some of the anger out, Chris was very good at that. They kept him from finding solitude by hiding in a corner and shutting them out. He wouldn't have been able to carry on with his life without these men.

"I don't know how to thank you guys." Ezra stared at the clear blue sky above him.

"No need Ezra, you came through and your still with us, that's thanks enough as far as we're concern." Chris sat cross legged and picked at the grass in front of him. His eyes stared at the cross that had been placed at the head of the grave. There was no one to purchase one. Chris knew that Ezra would want to so they had all pitched in and one had been ordered. Kyle Lawden wasn't going to be left in an grave that was marked only by a wooden cross.

"You and the others got me through it Chris, not me, I'm still a mess."

"And you will be for a while Ezra, you know that, but you also know that in time you'll be back to your normal self. It's something that's going to stay with you though, there will be days when it's going to come back and hit you in the face . . . "

"You mean the next time a woman wants to have sex with me." Ezra smiled but inside the thought scared him. Would a woman ever want him knowing that he had been forcefully taken by a man, by three men. Would he even be able to do it.

"Yeah, the right woman will understand Ezra."

"Maybe."

"Don't even know if I could do it, would even want to."

"That'll come with time Ezra."

"You always know what to say don't you?" Ezra finally looked up at him.

"It doesn't matter what sort of traumatic event that occurs Ezra, usually the resulting emotions are either the same or very similar. There's guilt, shame, anger, and it also takes time to deal with and get over it. I still don't know if I could ever love another woman or even have another child for that matter. I'm scared that all I'll see is Sarah and Adam and not the new family. Would I eventually resent them because they were there and not my first wife and son. We all tend to think the same thing Ezra, just in different ways and for different reasons."

"Wish my mother had told me that when I was younger, life would have been a lot easier." he sat up but looked away from his friend. "I can imagine what she would say if she were to find out."

Chris also knew and if were there when she opened her mouth he would close it with his fist.

"She won't find out from us." Chris told him.

"Nor me."

"You ready to go home?"

"Yeah."

"Come on then," Chris stood up and reached down to help Ezra to his feet. He had to wait a couple of minutes, Ezra was saying his last goodbye to a young that hadn't deserved the life that he had gotten. He easily pulled Ezra to his feet and together they walked back to their friends and began the journey home.

The End

Fiction