Comments:

This story takes place two months after 'The Betrayal' and refers to that story.

Ezra stepped off the elevator onto the seventh floor of the ATF building, the bright flourecent lights that beat down on him from the ceiling didn't help his headache, a mixture of too much alcohol, a late night and early morning caused his head to ache in a way it hadn't for quite a while. He adjusted his jacket and prepared himself for the normal early Monday pleasantries, he still couldn't understand why some people could be in such a good mood at eight thirty on a Monday morning, it was beyond his boundaries of understanding. It would be Vin's office that he passed first, the ex-bounty hunter was usually quite but for some reason he went out of his way to be loud on this particular day of the week, they all did. He picked up his pace hoping to pass the always opened doorway before the quiet man would see him. But as usual lady luck was refusing to be on his side.

"Morning Ezra!" Vin called out to him as he passed his office, he smiled at the response.

"You don't have to tell me twice." He muttered loud enough for Vin to hear.

He groaned and hung his head when he saw Buck and JD heading towards him, there was no way out of this dreadful predicament, he would have to face them and hope his death would be quick, or better still theirs. He could usually take a lot from these two and give back just as much and usually more but not today, he didn't need their youthful humor not after the way his day had so far been. And it was still only eight thirty five in the morning. Maybe he could take a very long lunch break and leave early.

"Hey Ezra." JD smiled at him, his young face showing the knowledge of what was about to happen, he brushed his dark hair off his face and stood back to enjoy the moment.

"Nice to see you so bright and early Ezra and only half an hour late." Buck slapped his back causing the southerner to put his right foot forward so he wouldn't fall flat on his face, his morning coffee spilled onto the carpet.

"It would be nicer if I didn't have to see your ugly face at this ungodly hour of the day!" Ezra retorted, he placed the coffee into his right hand and wiped his still burning fingers on Buck's shirt, the older man ignored this or didn't notice.

"Your just jealous because this handsome face," he wiped the moustache that grew with the smile as it lined his cheeks, "gets more girls than you do."

"Whatever!" Ezra pushed his way pass them, he was grateful that the worst of it was over. God he hated Mondays.

Ezra continued on past the potted plants that lined the walls, he noticed that they needed watering, the damaging airconditioning seemed to dry them out quickly but he knew the business that hired the plants out weren't due in until the end of the week, the plants would have to suffer for another five days, they would survive, they always did, he just hoped that he survived this day.

And he knew it was not going to be a good day, his alarm clock had broken that morning, it didn't help though that he had thrown it against the wall, an older woman had done her best to entice him into her car when he had left the coffee shop that he stopped at every day on his way to the office, he politely refused the offer then told her what she could do with it and now this, everyday greetings that had to be made everyday. Why couldn't you just say hello and goodbye once, it wasn't like you were never going to see the person again.

Then there was the meeting they were going to have at nine to discuss the present case, he would have to explain why he wasn't getting any results. They were trying to bring down a man named George Merchant for smuggling firearms into the country and so far Ezra had nothing on him, he had been able to get close to the man by pretending to be a buyer but so far he hadn't accepted Ezra's offers to take the firearms off his hands. He knew the man didn't suspect him of being an undercover agent because if he had Ezra knew he wouldn't be on his way to his office, he would either be dead or recovering from a serious wound that had been inflicted upon his person on the off chance it would kill him.

The next office was Nathan's but it was unoccupied, he continued on hoping the same empty peaceful space would occur in Josiah's office but he was to be dissapointed, it not only held Josiah's large form but also Nathan's, he had to put up with two greetings at once.

"Good morning Ezra." Josiah and Nathan spoke together.

"No it's not!" He didn't mutter this time but made his feelings known to the two men who continued to smile at him through the doorway. He sneered back at them then headed to his own office at the end of the hallway.

He finally reached the small office and the tension began to leave his body as he entered the small room, he made his way around the desk and sat in the large comfortable leather chair and began to alleviate his caffine addiction. His green eyes looked over the top of the foam coffee cup and he saw the picture frame that hung on the wall next to his office door, it had been positioned in such a way that he would always see it, the dark wooden frame was still the only piece of homely furniture in the office, it stood out against the stark white walls. The picture had been given to him after the undercover operation to flush out a rogue agent had gone wrong. Seven men filled the photo, one of the faces was his own. The present had been their way of saying welcome to the family. The group photo made him think about Lenny, he would never have gotten through that nightmare without him. He hadn't spoken to him for a couple of weeks, his old friend and mentor was working on a case that had taken him out of town. His location had been a secret and even Ezra, a fellow Federal Agent, couldn't be informed of it.

"EZRA!"

"Good Lord." Ezra moaned, the voice and tone was unmistakable, he wasn't even going to get to finish his coffee.

"I'M WAITING!" Chris, the leader of the elite group yelled out once more to his agent.

"How does he even know I'm here?" He asked himself out loud.

Ezra reluctantly pushed himself out of his chair and away from his comfort zone then headed towards what he knew to be the danger zone. He grimaced at the amused faces that watched his death march to their leader's office. He stopped just before he reached the door and took a deep breath, then after putting on his poker face he entered the much larger office.

"Morning Ezra." Chris smiled up at him, he motioned to one of the two chairs that sat in front of his desk.

Ezra sat in the one that was closest to the exit that led to freedom, he didn't offer a reply to the greeting, he knew it was an inhouse joke with the group, they went out of their way to make Monday mornings worse for him.

"How has your day been so far?" Chris enjoyed seeing the younger agent when he was riled. Too often his poker face hid what he was really feeling and his calm demeaner hardly ever allowed them to see a different side to him these days so on these sort of occassions they all made the best of it and got as much enjoyment from causing the southerner's feathers to become even more ruffled as they could.

"The first hour and thirty minutes have been worse than hell and it's getting even more disasterous as each minute passes. Some woman even had the nerve to proposition me this morning?"

"And you turned her down?" The smile continued to grow on Chris's face.

"She was my mother's age!" Ezra grimaced and sunk lower into his chair. "Are we going to get to the point of why I am here Mr Larabee?"

"Just wanted to say good morning and ask how your day was." Chris looked down at his paperwork to hide the huge smile that creased his rugged features, he knew that Ezra would now be throwing him a look that would kill a normal person. "And to remind you about the meeting."

"So you just wanted to make my morning even more miserable?" Ezra couldn't believe he had to go through this routine every Monday, did these men never grow up, do they not tire of playing these jokes on him.

"Yeah something like that Ezra." Chris lifted his head and smiled up at the now standing figure. "I needed a bit of cheering up and well," he shrugged his shoulders, "sometimes you just make it too easy for us Ezra."

"Now that you've had your fun can I go?" Ezra sarcastically asked him.

"Are you ready for the meeting?" Chris knew that Ezra was becoming frustrated with the case, he wasn't getting anywhere with it and he fully blamed himself for the failure.

"Yes I am." Ezra said carefully.

"It's not your fault Ezra." Chris looked him in the eye hoping to see some sort of reaction that told him his agent believed his words but his calm facade hid everything.

"There is no other reason to explain why he isn't willing to sell firearms to me." Ezra explained.

"Yes there is, we just don't know it yet." Chris waited for a response but he didn't get one. "Go and finish your coffee Ezra, you look like you need it."

"Not that's it's still going to be warm." Ezra muttered to himself as he left the office. "Mondays, why do we even have to get up on Mondays . . . "

"What was that Ezra?" Buck asked him as he passed the smaller man on his way to the photocopying room.

"I said you were butt ugly!" Ezra continued into his office, ignoring the smirk on Wilmington's face, he fell heavily into his chair and silently groaned. "Could this day get any worse!" Ezra now worried that he was actually going to get an answer to his question so when his phone rang he practically jumped out of his seat.

"Standish!" He growled into it, challenging the person on the other end just to try and make his day worse.

"I take it you haven't been told yet?" The strange voice asked him.

"Told what? And who the hell are you?" Ezra didn't recognise the male voice, the tone was even, the voice soft but he could tell the person was mocking him.

"You'll get an answer later, I'll call back then." The line went dead.

His day just got worse, he wondered for a moment if Buck was playing one of his practical jokes but didn't think he would go that far, he decided to let it go for now and if they did ring back he would confront Buck about it and if the practical joker had nothing to do with it, then he would begin to worry about it. He pushed the uninformative phone call to the back of his mind and tried his coffee, he spat the cold mouthful back into the cup.

"Come on Ezra! Chris and the others are waiting." Vin had already called to him once on his way to the meeting room but the Federal agent had ignored him.

"It's not even nine o'clock yet Tanner!" Ezra retorted.

"I beg to differ there Ezra, look at your watch." Vin smiled at him and walked away.

Ezra looked down at his silver banded watch and saw that it was nine, five minutes after actually, which meant he was late for the meeting he had arrived thirty minutes early for, where the hell did the last twenty minutes go. He swore under his breath, this day just kept getting worse. After the meeting he was definitely going back home to bed, but a long stiff drink would be even better. He grabbed the Mercant case folder off his desk and quickly walked to the conference room.

He entered through the open doorway and left the thick wooden door open, he ignored the watchful glares that followed him to the chair next to Larabee, it had been left empty just for him. He looked at Chris then quickly diverted his eyes.

"You get here early and your still late." Chris smiled at him. "I thought you were prepared?"

"I am, I was distracted by one of Wilmington's practical jokes." Ezra looked across at the man who had a look of pure innocence on his face.

"Buck?" Chris raised his eyesbrows at him.

"Wasn't me." He denied as he raised his arms in a gesture of surrender, he would have to ask Ezra what had happened then find out who had done it so he could congratulate him, it was a gifted person who could distract Ezra.

"Let's just get on with it shall we." Chris leaned back in his chair and motioned for Ezra to begin.

"I have another meeting with Merchant on Wednesday at ten, I will give him an ultimatum, if he doesn't take my offer then I'll leave." Ezra explained. "I have word that no one else wants to take the weapons off his hands, so if I make him think that I won't either he may change his mind. It might take him a few days but I'm sure he'll come around."

"And your sure he doesn't know your undercover?" Chris asked.

"There's been nothing to indicate such a discovery." Ezra shifted in his seat, his usually calm facade had been effected by the phone call, if it hadn't been arranged by Buck then who was it and what was he to be informed of. "He would have tried to effect my dissapearence by now if he had knowledge of my treachery."

Chris nodded. "JD?"

"Nothing on surveillance to show that he knows who Ezra really is, hasn't even talked about him." JD shrugged.

Chris looked towards the open doorway when a phone began to ring. "JD go and get that will you." he ordered the youngest agent of the group.

"I'll give it until the end of next week Ezra, if he doesn't show his hand by then, there isn't much more we can do." He saw the flash of guilt that appeared in the southerner's eyes. "You did what you could Ezra, you can't win them all."

Ezra bit down on the retort that wanted to retaliate against the hidden blame that he knew was aimed in his direction, the agent could feel everyone's eyes on him, he knew his own eyes were showing what he was feeling so he put his poker face back into position and nodded at his boss.

"Hey Ezra it's for you, some FBI guy on your phone." JD announced as he walked back into the conference room.

"He has a name Mr Dunne. Lenny, remember! And I expect you to give him the courtesy he deserves next time!" Ezra growled at him as he pushed himself out of his chair and walked towards the door.

"Ezra it's not Lenny." JD informed the retreating back but Ezra hadn't heard him.

Chris stood up and followed the angry agent out of the room, he was going to talk to him in private after he finished the phone call. He waited and watched him through the doorway, he kept his distance so Ezra could have the privacy he required.

Ezra stormed into his office, his mood already lifting at the thought of talking to Lenny, he could confide in him, tell him anything, he trusted the man with his life and emotions, it was something he was yet to do with the other six men he worked with. He picked up the phone and began to pace the area that was restricted by the phone cord, unware that he was being watched by the group's leader.

"Lenny where the . . . " He was interrupted by the other person, his pacing also stopped, he now stood with his back to the open doorway. "Agent Thompson, yes I remember, your a friend of Lenny's." He felt his stomach turn, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. "Has something happened to Lenny?" Ezra listened as he world broke apart. "How do you know it's him?" It was barely a whisper but the man in Atlanta heard him. "Are you sure? . . . God no . . . he can't be . . . "

Ezra dropped the phone, then he dropped, his legs no longer supporting his weight, the back of his head hit the desk on the way down but he didn't register the pain, he was in shock, he didn't even hear the concerned voice's that called his name or the gentle hands that tried to get his attention. He didn't hear Chris take over the phone conversion, he was in shock. Ezra drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, hugging himself, hoping that it was all a dream but it wasn't. He didn't even realise he had begun to shake.

"NATHAN!" Chris saw the phone fall from Ezra's hand, it swung on the short cord that stopped it from hitting the ground, then watched as Ezra's knees buckled before he followed the phone's example. He ran into the office and dropped to his knees next to Ezra, he felt the others run into the office behind him.

Nathan ran out of the conference room, thinking that Chris had done something to himself but he saw the dark clad man running into Ezra's office, it was only a matter of seconds before he joined Chris at Ezra's side.

"What happened?" Nathan asked.

Chris ignored him and grabbed the phone. "This is Agent Larabee, who the hell am I talking to?" he listened to the short introduction. "Do you mind telling me what you just told Ezra . . . because at the moment he's sitting on the floor not responding to any of us that's why!" His face paled as he listened. "Oh God." he turned around and looked down at Ezra. "Your sure? . . . How? . . . What happened?" he knelt back down and watched Ezra's face, he knew exactly what his friend was going through. "I'll call you later for more details, I want to take care of Ezra first . . . yeah I will . . . thanks."

"What?" Vin asked Chris when he hung up the phone, he saw the pale colour of his complexion and knew something was seriously wrong.

"Ezra?" Chris ignored those around him, his concentration aimed directly at Ezra. "Ezra?"

Ezra was beginning to find it difficult to breath, he could feel a tightness in his chest, his breathing quickened, his vision was also becoming blurred, he couldn't understand what was happening. He wanted none of this, all he wanted to do was go back to this morning and start the day over, he knew things would happen differently.

"He's hyperventilating." Nathan noticed Ezra's rapid breathing and the grimace of pain that crossed his face, he had put his hand against his chest, he sat down in front of him and used his large hand to take the southerner's chin, he lifted his face so their eyes would be level with each other's. "Try to calm down Ezra and breath normally." Nathan felt Chris lean towards him and heard the words that were whispered into his ear. He kept his shock to himself, he needed to stay in control so he could get Ezra to calm down. "Your not alone Ezra, where here for you, we'll help you." He watched as the smaller man's eyes finally focused on him. "Try and breath normally . . . that's it Ezra . . . your not going through this alone Ezra, we'll be here for you . . . that's the way Ezra, take in a deep breath, that's it. Better?"

Ezra's mind finally registered the voice that spoke to him, the words telling him that he wasn't alone, he concentrated on his breathing and felt the tightness leave his chest when his breathing leveled out.

"Nathan . . . he's dead . . . Lenny's dead."

"I'm so sorry Ezra." Nathan didn't remove his hand from Ezra's face.

"Someone killed him . . . he . . . he . . ." Ezra looked away from him, he couldn't look at Nathan anymore, he pulled away from all of them and withdrew into himself and built his wall back up making sure that it was even thicker than it usually was.

"Ezra?" Chris called to him again. "Shit!"

"What happened Chris?" Josiah asked him, his heart had sunk with Ezra's words, none of them had really liked the arrogant Federal agent but they had put up with him because of the special relationship he had with Ezra. Hoskins had been the closest thing Ezra had to family, more so than his own mother. They were like brothers and now the only man that Ezra could actually talk to, to share his feelings with was dead, murdered. And what hurt Ezra hurt them.

"Later Josiah." Chris didn't look at him, he continued to watch Ezra, he knew he was shutting them out. "Nathan?"

Nathan was also watching Ezra, he had seen the thin trail of blood that ran down the back of his neck, he turned the southerner's head towards Chris and used his fingers to probe the small cut, a lump had already begun to form.

"He must of hit his head when he fell." Nathan told Chris when he showed him his blood covered fingers.

"Should we take him to the hospital?"

"No, it's not serious, we should just take him home, I can stop at a chemist and get him something to help him sleep." Nathan told him.

"You can't get sleeping pills without a prescription Nathan." Vin spoke but even he didn't take much notice of what he said, he had to say something to try and break himself out of his own shock. He was actually saddened by Hoskin's death and he knew how it would effect Ezra, Lenny had once told Chris that Ezra had loved him like a brother. Ezra would be devestated, and the man never showed his emotions which was only going to make it more difficult for him to cope with his friend's death.

"Natural relaxants Vin, a few will do just a good a job as a sedative." Nathan informed him

"I'm fine Nathan." Ezra whispered but still didn't look at anyone.

"Your not fine Ezra and your not going to be for a long time, now let us help you." Chris looked into the green eyes, there were no emotions, but he knew there would be, Ezra would be feeling numb at the moment, but later the realisation of Lenny's death will hit him and that's when he was going to need them the most.

"Come on Ezra, where taking you home." Nathan began to pull him up but needed Chris's help because Ezra wasn't willing to give him any assistance.

"Home?" Ezra looked over his shoulder at Nathan.

"Don't worry Ezra, we'll be there with you, we're not going to leave you alone." Nathan assured him.

They guided him out of his office past the pale faces of his friends and towards the elevator, Chris and Nathan holding an arm each supporting the southerner's weight. Ezra continued to walk on shaky legs, oblivious to the two men who helped him walk or the men who followed them.

Nathan sat in the back of Chris's dodge, Josiah was on the other side and Ezra was in the middle, their own large frames making him seem even smaller. Vin sat in the passenger side in the front and Chris drove, it was a thirty minute drive to Ezra's townhouse apartment and during the entire drive the southerner didn't say a word, his eyes stared at some distant sight that only he could see. No one was looking at the scenery that sped by, Chris's eyes were on the road but he occassionaly glanced into the rearview mirror, only seeing a small part of Ezra's face, the others watched the southerner constantly.

Chris parked the black dodge in the quiet street, he left the garage empty for Ezra's jag, JD was following them in it, Ezra hadn't given any of his normal protests about the younger man driving his car. Buck was also following but was going to stop at the chemist in the Denver Memorial hospital on his way and get the relaxants that Nathan wanted for Ezra.

Nathan gently pulled Ezra from the car and lead him towards his front door, Chris, Vin and Josiah followed them up to the vine covered entrance. Chris pulled out the door key that he'd removed from Ezra's key chain and opened the front door. He turned on the light to illuminate the darkened hallway and stepped aside so the others could enter the neat townhouse. As they walked through the apartment they couldn't help but notice that the unpacked boxes still cluttered up small areas of the apartment, Ezra still hadn't unpacked them.

Nathan took Ezra into the kitchen and sat him down at the table, he then went into the bathroom to get the small medical kit he knew was there. The younger agent always took care of his own injuries when he could, he had always refused the caring attention that other people offered him. Chris and Josiah sat down, each taking a seat next to the younger agent so he would know that someone was there with him. Vin leaned against the kitchen counter and watched his friend knowing the inner turmoil that was going on inside him, there would be a torrent of emotions that he wasn't willing to share with them.

When Nathan returned he began to carefully clean the abrasion on the back of Ezra's skull, it had only been small but bled as though the wound was larger, part of his shirt's collar was now stained an ugly red. He heard Ezra's quick intake of breath when he applied some antiseptic to the wound.

"Sorry Ezra, I'll be more carefull." The only answer he received was a barely perceptible nod of the head. At least he was listening to them, he just wasn't ready to respond to them.

They heard the door open, and tensed up until they saw JD's familiar face, the young visage was full of concern and worry. He joined the others at the table and quickly glanced at Ezra, he wanted to ask how he was doing but knew it would be a stupid question, he could see how he was doing. His friend was being torn apart inside and it seemed like there was nothing anyone could do to help him.

Josiah continued to watch Ezra's profile, his head hung low, his eyes staring at the table in front of him. The larger man put his hand on Ezra's shoulder and squeezed it in an attempt to offer the young man some comfort. His hand moved from his shoulder when Ezra didn't refuse the touch and found it's way to his hand, Josiah gripped it and held on when he wasn't pushed away. Chris followed Josiah's example and put his arm around Ezra's shoulders, it was an awkward thing for him to do but he had to put his own feelings aside and think about Ezra.

The silence that hung in the air like a shroud was broken when another entrance was made into the two bedroom apartment, Buck noisely made his way up the hallway looking into each room, he didn't know where they would be, he found them gathered around Ezra in the kitchen. The four chairs at the table were already occupied so he handed Nathan the purchased relaxants and joined Vin at the counter.

"Some water please Buck." Nathan leaned over the table towards Ezra. "Ezra?" He waited paitently until the slumped head lifted and the green eyes returned his gaze, the emerald orbs were glazed over. "I'm going to give you something to help you sleep Ezra . . . "

"I don't want to sleep Nathan, it's in the middle of the day." Ezra muttered then returned his staring eyes back to the empty kitchen table.

"Your in shock Ezra, I want you to get some rest." Nathan informed him.

"Shock, I haven't suffered an injury Nathan." Ezra's voice had become a whisper as he remembered the phone call he had taken, the other Federal Agent had told him that Lenny Hoskins was dead, that he'd been murdered.

"Not physically Ezra but emotionally your in shock." Nathan took two of the pills out of the packet and took the glass Buck handed to him.

Ezra thought about it for a moment, maybe sweet oblivion wasn't such a bad idea, he wouldn't have to continue living this nightmare and maybe when he woke up he'd find out that it was all a dream after all. The darkness the pills would supply could stop him from feeling the emotions that were boiling inside him, they wanted to escape but he held onto them with a death grip, he wasn't going to break down in front of these men. Yes they were his friends but he wasn't comfortable showing that side of himself with them, they weren't like Lenny, he had never judged him. The man had meant more to him than life itself, he was the only person he could confide in, to tell his secrets and fears and now he was gone. Some Bastard had taken him from him. He wanted to forget so he took the pills and swallowed them with the help of the water.

"They'll take about half an hour to work Ezra." Nathan didn't think he would have taken them so easily.

Ezra began to feel uncomfortable under the scrutinising gazes of the six men who stayed close to him, the room was beginning to close in on him, he needed to get away from them. He got up out of the chair and slowly made his way to his bedroom, he sat on the bed and placed his elbows on his knees, his hands held his face, hiding it from the person who followed him into the room.

Chris sat down on the bed next to him. "Ezra, I know there's nothing we can say that will help you or make you feel any better but I want you to know that we're here for you. When your ready to talk about it we'll be ready to listen."

Ezra nodded his head but it was only a small nod, his hands restricted the movement. Of all the men in the group Chris was the one who knew how he was feeling, the man's own family had been murdered five years ago and he was still suffering from it, he wondered if he would still feel the same about Lenny's death in five years time or even ten, he knew he would, Lenny was a person he would never forget.

"I need a shower, might help me relax." Ezra quickly got off the bed and walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He leaned against the door and slowly sunk to the floor, the tears already flowing from his eyes, he wasn't able to hold them in any longer, he broke down and allowed them to continue.

Chris knew exactly what Ezra was doing but he wasn't going to disturb him, he leaned against the door and listened. He just wished Ezra would allow them to comfort him instead of shutting himself away from them. The door that seperated him from Ezra physically was just as thick as the wall he was using to keep them away emotionally. Chris waited for fifteen minutes before the noise began to settle down, then softly knocked on the door.

"Ezra?" Chris leaned his forehead against the door, the coolness of it against his skin was comforting as he tried to control his own memories of his wife and son's deaths. Watching and listening to what Ezra was going through was bringing it all back to him.

"I'm fine . . . I'll be out in a minute." Ezra told him, he wiped the tears form his eyes and pushed himself up off the floor, he was beginning to feel numb again. His chest and stomach ached with the emotional outburst. He looked into the mirror at the face that looked back at him, his cheeks were damp and his eyes bloodshot. Ezra turned the cold water tap on and washed his face then dried it with a towl. The blood shot eyes were still there but there wasn't anything he could do about that. He took in a deep breath and left the bathroom, he kept his green eyes downcast so Chris wouldn't see that he'd been crying but he knew he was stupid to think the older man didn't know it already, his tears hadn't been silent.

"Let's get you into bed Ezra, those pills should be working soon, don't want you falling asleep on the floor."

"I can get myself to bed." Ezra told him, he sat down heavily on the bed and pulled his boots off, he got into the still unmade bed he'd been forced out of early that morning when the alarm clock and gone off. He pulled the covers up over his shoulder and made himself comfortable on his right side. He could feel his muscles relaxing and then become heavy, his eyelids closed. Ezra didn't fight the feeling, he wanted to sleep, he didn't want to feel anything or think about what had happened. He could hear his own breathing and concentrated on that, after a few more minutes the welcoming darkness took him into it's embrace.

Chris watched as Ezra seemed to relax, then fall asleep, he waited for ten minutes to make sure then pulled the cover back, he carfully removed the jacket, gun, holster and tie that Ezra had forgotten about and undid the first couple of buttons on his shirt. He placed the covers back over him then left him to sleep.

The dark clad leader of the group walked back into the kitchen and sat down at the table, he took the coffee that was offered to him and began to tell the others what the Agent on the phone had told him. "Agent Thompson said that Lenny was found in his burnt out car," he let the knowledge that Lenny would have been in the same condition sink in before going on, "after the first initial post mortem examination they found a bullet wound to his skull."

"What makes them think it was Lenny? If the body was burnt they wouldn't have been able to identify it." Vin asked him.

"Lenny was working on a case here in Denver, he went missing a few days ago. They found the car outside of town, the make and model matched the one he was using. There was a metal prosthesis in his left elbow, apparently Lenny had one surgically inserted six years ago after a gunshot wound shattered his elbow."

"What sort of prosthesis?" Nathan wanted to know.

"He didn't say, I'll ring him shortly and get some more information."

The phone in the lounge room began to ring. Chris rushed into the room and picked it up before the noise had a chance to wake Ezra.

"Larabee." He announced into the phone.

"I want to talk to Standish." There was no introductions from the other end.

"He's not available. Who am I speaking to?" Chris could feel the hairs on the back of his neck begin to stand up, there was something wrong with this phone conversation.

"I tried him at the office but he wasn't there, none of you were and I take it that because your at his home that he's been told about Hoskins." The tone informed Chris that the caller on the other end was actually smiling.

"Who the hell is this?" Chris growled into the phone. He watched as the others walked into the room to find out what was going on.

"Why, I'm the man who killed Lenny Hoskins." There was a pause of deathly silence. "I'll call back tonight, I want to speak to Standish, no one else."

Chris heard the click of the disconnection when the caller hung up, the phone was still held against his ear, the meaning of the words were still sinking in. Whoever killed Lenny was after Ezra, there was no other explanation for the phone call.

"That was someone claiming that he killed Hoskins." Chris told the men who had gathered in the lounge room.

He didn't look at them, his blue eyes were staring at the phone as though an image of the man who had been on the other end would appear in his mind but he heard the muttered curses, the sound of escaping air also reached his ears when someone sat down on one of the two comfortable sitting chairs. The man's words kept repeating themselves in him mind. He wanted to talk to Ezra, that meant he was either going to try and hurt him emotionally by telling him what he did to Lenny or he wanted something from him. He shook his head in frustration, Ezra didn't need this, wasn't it bad enough that he had to suffer from the death of a close friend, now he was going to have to deal with the person that had caused his loss.

"What did he want?" Buck asked him.

"He wants to talk to Ezra, said he'll call back tonight." Chris answered without turning to face them

"Are you going to let him?" Josiah looked over his shoulder at the closed door that hid Ezra's sleeping form, his own head hung low at the thought of what the young man was already going through.

"If I don't he'll find another way to talk to Ezra." Chris's words echoed what everyone was thinking. "I want us to be here with Ezra when he does, he's going to need us, but I know he's also going to refuse our help so we'll have to do it without him knowing it."

"So we're going to be ready for him then." It was a statement from Buck not a question, he knew there was nothing they could do to prevent the hurt that this man wanted to cause Ezra, all they could do was be there for him and protect him physically, if he would allow them to that was.

"Yeah," Chris finally turned to face his men, their expressions told him that they too were ready to do anything to protect Ezra, "you and JD go back to the office, get everything you need, I want this phone tapped, twice if you can do it, also Ezra's car and mine, I want a wire in the coat that he was wearing today and one in the biege coat that's hanging on the back of his bedroom door." He took a deep breath then let it out, his shoulders fell back down as the air was released from his lungs. "After Ezra talks to this guy he's going to want to go after him and he'll try and do it without us, he's too slippery so I want to be prepared for when he does get away."

"When! You mean if." Nathan pointed out his mistake.

"No Nathan. Ezra's to good, even for us, it'll be when." Chris assured him with a slight smile playing on his lips but he didn't feel any humour to go along with his statement. "Buck, JD get going and get back here as soon as you can."

Chris sat in the chair that faced Ezra's bed, he hadn't been able to sit in the outer rooms with nothing to do but wait so he decided to spend the time that he had to wait for Buck and JD to return watching Ezra as he slept. He had regretted the decision but couldn't remove himself from his vigil. Each time he looked at the man in the bed he was reminded of what he was going through, these thoughts brought back his own bitter memories, a nightmare that he had begun to end through the friendship of the other six men on his team. But the nightmare had returned and he was concerned that it would get in the way of what he needed to do to help Ezra, he couldn't allow himself to dwell on his own past. Ezra needed him now but each time he tried to force the feelings to the back of his mind and think about Ezra, the pain and guilt came back with a vengence.

He was about to stand up and leave the room when he heard the gentle knock on the door, he quickly looked towards the bedroom door and it opened to reveal Joisah's concerned face. Chris was grateful for the distraction.

Josiah stepped into the room when Chris turned away from him, he had seen the emotions crossing his face, they weren't hidden, the normal control that Chris had was faltering, he was going through his own family's death all over again. He moved to the bed and sat down, he looked down at Ezra's peaceful expression then leaned forward and wiped the Southerner's cheek with his hand.

"He's going to go through hell isn't he?" Josiah spoke quietly.

"Yeah, it's going to be even worse for him because he won't let us help, he's not going to talk to us about it." Chris muttered as he looked down at his crossed ankles. He couldn't look at the two men, it was even harder to look at the sleeping form that was in a reprieve from a torrent of emotions that could eventually destroy the Southerner if he didn't deal with them.

"What about you?" Josiah turned his caring gaze towards Chris. "This must be bringing back a lot of painful memories."

"Your right, I want to run and hide from Ezra but I can't, I have to push what I'm feeling aside and help him." Chris admitted.

"Could be an opportunity for you to deal with your emotions Chris, if you push them aside you'll be doing the same thing that we expect of Ezra. You should use those feelings to help yourself and Ezra to get through this."

"I wouldn't know how to Josiah." Chris returned the larger man's stare.

"You wouldn't know how to help yourself or to help Ezra." Josiah smiled at him.

"Myself. Ezra I can help, I can protect him from physical harm and help him deal with the emotional side of this but only if he'll let me help." Chris told him.

"We'll all help him Chris." He looked back at Ezra. "He won't have a choice in the matter."

"Uh huh." Chris nodded, his eyes also turned to Ezra.

The next few minutes of silence was deafening, each man no longer knowing what to say to each other. Their eyes continued to watch the sleeping form and the thoughts of what Ezra was going through continued to plague their minds. They held their breaths when they heard Ezra take in a quick breath then roll over on to his stomach. When he had released the air he was holding in his lungs Josiah moved closer to the smaller man and adjusted the blankets around his new position.

"What did the Judge say?" Chris remembered that he had asked Josiah to call him and explain what had happenend.

"He agreed with you, thought it would be best to put the Merchant case on hold for now. Vin's going to contact Merchant's man and tell him that Ezra's changed his mind but will contact him later if he decides to buy after all." Josiah explained.

"It's what we were going to do anyway if Merchant didn't bite on Wednesday." Chris nodded his head.

"Yeah but Ezra won't be too happy about it." Josiah warned him. "Even with what he's going through he's still going to think he let you down."

"I'll just have to convince him otherwise." Chris stared at the slack features of his undercover agent.

For some reason Ezra took it upon himself to take full responsibility for any failures in an operation. Chris knew that Ezra wanted to prove to himself more than the rest of the team that he could be trusted. What had happened with the FBI made him feel that he would never be trusted again, only one man had believed him when he denied the rumors of being on the take. Everyone had lost their respect and trust for the undercover agent and Ezra had not been able to work under those conditions, his superior had put him behind a desk, he had told his agent that it was for his own safety, that if people didn't trust him they may not back him up but Ezra knew the truth, he was sitting behind a desk because they didn't trust him, they thought he was bent and would not risk their own lives by working with him. If it hadn't been for Lenny Hoskins Ezra probably would have ended up doing what his mother had trained him for all his life. To be a con man who worked on the wrong side of the law.

Chris had needed the best undercover agent there was and when someone had mentioned Standish's name he put out feelers in regards to recruiting him. Chris had only found out recently that Hoskins had grabbed hold of those feelers and didn't let go until his superior agreed to the transfer. When he first met Ezra he knew there would be a clash of personalities, the man was disillusioned with his job and the people he worked with, the FBI agent had expected the same sort of treatment from the small group of men that made up the ATF team that he had been transferred to without his knowledge until after the fact. The Southerner had even run out on them on their first case together but he returned, Chris had been angry but he understood the reasoning behind the abandoment of his team and gave the agent another chance. He had seen the immeadiate change in Ezra's eyes and the man had proven himself to the rest of the team on each operation they had undertaken but he was still trying to prove himself, and he was taking risks in doing so.

But then they had almost ruined everything with their reactions to an undercover operation that Ezra had taken on to capture ATF agents that had gone bad, it had nearly cost him his life and his friends. Again if it wasn't for Lenny Hoskins Ezra would be somewhere else now. Chris had hated Ezra's friend with a passion that burned within him, the man had been arrogant since the moment he met him and for some reason he enjoyed aggrevating him. He had reminded him of himself for a moment but he threw that idea straight out the window, he had wished that he could have done the same thing to the agent. But he had to admit that the man had something when it came to Ezra, they had been close, they were like brothers. He had saved the friendship and the team even though he didn't like any of them, he had done it for Ezra because he knew that his young friend belonged with the small family that made up Team Seven.

But now Lenny Hoskins was dead, murdered and Ezra was devestated, the only emotions he had displayed had been hidden behind a door where no one could see him or reach out to him to help the tormented man through his emotions. Chris wasn't going to let that happen again. Ezra needed help and he was going to give it to him, things weren't going to be like before, they weren't going to allow him to deal with any of this on his own. Chris knew he would refuse their help, he would push them away and when he'd finally realise that they weren't going to leave him then he would use his words and anger to hurt them thinking that his treatment of their feelings would keep them at a safe distance. He would be wrong.

A second knock on the door brought the leader back from his thoughts.

"We've got everything set up." Buck informed Chris but he was looking at Ezra, the sympathy and concern wasn't hidden behind a false facade, he was going to let Ezra see how he felt. He had caused Ezra a lot of hurt the last time and he wasn't going to do it again. "Just have to do Ezra's jackets." He reached around the door and grabbed the coat that hung on a hanger that was attached to a hook, he caught the one that Josiah threw at him. He nodded silently then closed the door behind him.

"We'll wait until he's finished then I'm going to call Agent Thompson and get some more details from him." Chris leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees, it was a way for him to stop looking at Ezra without Josiah knowing it.

Chris put the phone in speaker mode so everyone could listen to the conversation that was also being taped. He dialed the number to the FBI Agency in Atlanta, he waited several seconds before it was finally answered.

"This is Agent Larabee, could I speak with Agent Thompson please."

"Can I ask what's it in regard to please Sir." A soft female voice demanded in a less than pleasant tone.

"Don't know why she bothered with the please." Buck muttered under his breath.

"It's in regards to the death of Agent Hoskins." Chris kept his patience.

He heard the ugly sound of music and knew he had been put on hold, his patience just began to run out. He hated being put on hold.

"Agent Larabee?" A male voice made itself known to the agents that crowded the table where the phone had been placed.

"Thompson?" Chris wasn't sure.

"Yes. How's Ezra doing?" Chris heard the concern in his voice, he was suprised, he had thought that Lenny was the only friend that Ezra had in the agency after the rumours had started. "Agent Larabee?" The voice called to him.

"Not so good, we sort of have him sedated at the moment." He informed him.

"They were close." The voice was solem.

"I take it you were also Agent Thompson?" Josiah asked him.

There was a pause on the other end and Chris filled it quickly. "I have you on speaker phone, Ezra's team is here, I didn't want to have to repeat everything and besides they might think of something that I haven't asked."

"Sure that's okay, it was the question more than the new voice. Yeah we were close but Lenny and Ezra were like family." There seemed to be hesitation coming from the Agent. "Larabee, I have something to tell you and I think your going to be pretty pissed off by it, I know I was. If they had told me everything I wouldn't have even called Ezra, he wouldn't be going through this now. It's my fault. When he wakes up and you tell him what I'm about to tell you, can you also tell him I'm sorry and if he wants to call me he can, I'd like to talk to him."

"Sure. What's going on?"

"I don't even know if it was Lenny in that car." Thompson waited for the shock to wear off.

"What do you mean?" Chris asked him while he kept his anger in check.

"I only got the preliminary report, a full examination has been completed and I only just finished reading the report that was sent to me. I'll give you the main details and then like me you can keep your fingers crossed."

"Were listening." Chris told him.

"The car was Lenny's, we mark them so when this sort of thing happens it's easy to identify. The body is something different, it was burnt beyond recognition but like I said before there was a prothesis, they were able to make out part of an item number on it, an agent chased it up with the manufacturer, now here's the interesting thing, it was only made four years ago . . . "

"You said that Lenny had his inserted six years ago." Nathan repeated the information.

"That's right, there's something else, all of the victim's teeth were removed." Thompson continued. "So there's a few things to think about. One, they didn't want us to identify the victim and they didn't know about the prosthesis. Two, Lenny had another pin inserted into his elbow four years ago without our knowledge. And three, this is the one that I'm leaning towards, they wanted us to think it was Lenny, they removed the teeth because it would take us longer to identify him, the fact that the prothsesis isn't old enough also indicates that they would know we'd eventually find out it might not be him. Once they check the skull and pelvis bones they might be able to determine the victim's age but that's going to take a while and if Lenny is still alive then we haven't got much time."

"I agree and I'm glad to know that we're dealing with someone who knows what they're doing." Chris told him.

"Like I said, Lenny was a friend and I had a problem with Ezra before but Lenny showed me his record since joining your team and I believe his proven himself, Lenny wouldn't leave me alone about it, it's his mission to change everyone's mind about Ezra, I was the first. I want to help him as well as Lenny."

"Then I'm going to be honest with you Thompson, the killer has tried to contact Ezra, I spoke to him earlier and he's calling back tonight, wants to talk to Ezra and no one else."

"Do you have any idea why he wants to do that?" The agent asked.

"No, he hung up but we've got everything tapped, including a couple of Ezra's jackets, his car and mine and two taps on this phone." Chris explained to him, he wasn't really angry at the agent on the other end of the line, he had been given incorrect information and without knowing it did what he thought was right by contacting Ezra.

"Where exactly was the car found?" Josiah asked to change the subject.

"Ten miles outside of Denver on the I98 highway, the car was found in a clearing that was within sight of the road, couple of guys doing road works found it, saw the body and called it in."

"What was the case he was working on?" Chris demanded.

"I can't tell you over the phone, if you can have someone go back to your office, I fax the information to you." Thompson wasn't going to hold back, he also wanted to find out what had happened to Lenny or if he was still alive he wanted him found.

"You know the number?" Buck asked him.

"Yes, you call me when you get there, I don't want someone else getting this."

"I'll head over there now." Buck stood up and left the room.

"Anything else?" Chris spoke before someone else could.

"No, I've given you everything I have. What about you?"

"Nothing but I'll keep you informed, I call you tonight after this guy speaks to Ezra."

"Thanks." Thompson gave Chris his home and pager number then hung up the phone.

"Some good news for Ezra." Vin grimaced. "Now instead of being an emotional wreck he's going to worry himself sick."

"We can deal with that Vin." Chris couldn't help but smile. "It's a relief but where going to have to hurry, if Lenny isn't dead now he soon will be."

"It also means that someone is going to use Lenny to get to Ezra, you can't let him go off on his own now." Josiah told him.

"Your right Josiah but like Chris says, it's going to be very hard to stop him, he's been in worse conditions than this and has found a way out." Vin reminded him.

"We'll have to make it look good though so he won't suspect anything then follow him." Chris told them. "In the meantime we work on finding Lenny."

Ezra could feel the pain coming back, the hurt eminated from his chest, his confused mind couldn't find a cause. He tried to push the fog from his brain so he could think, it lifted but did not completely clear itself from his mind. He didn't remember being injured in any way, he frowned in confusion then a familiar voice filled his mind and it's sound brought the terrifying nightmare back. Lenny was dead. 'Lenny's dead. Lenny's dead. Lenny's dead.' He kept repeating the words over and over. He didn't want to believe it but he remembered the phone call he had taken that morning, but he didn't remember much after that. He wasn't even sure where he was. The voice called to him again. It was Chris. He ignored him, he wanted to stay in the darkness where the living nightmare didn't exist.

"Come on Ezra." Chris had seen the frown that was followed by the body movement which indicated that the sleeping man was now waking, he was returning to them.

Ezra rolled away from the voice, he couldn't wake up, he didn't want to live through Lenny's death. How was he going to cope without his only real friend. Yes the others were his friends but they weren't like Lenny, no one was like Lenny. The man was his support through a troubled adult life that wasn't much different or better than his childhood.

"Ezra!" Chris took his shoulder and began to shake the Southerner. "We need to talk Ezra."

"We don't need to do anything." Ezra retorted, his voice was slurred by the drowsiness he was still feeling.

"It's about Lenny." He felt Ezra tense up under his grip. "He might not be dead Ezra."

Did he hear him correctly, he wasn't sure, maybe it was a dream after all but he didn't want to find out, if it was a dream then reality would soon take control and admit the truth, that his long time friend was dead. He opened his eyes anyway and lifted his head to look over his shoulder to make sure the face that was looking at him was serious.

"What?"

"Lenny may not be dead, in fact we're pretty sure he isn't." Chris assured him.

"We?"

"We've been talking to Agent Thompson, he's been very helpful." Chris stood up. "Now get up and come out to the lounge room and we'll tell you everything we know."

Ezra just continued to look at him, the confusion he was feeling showed on his face and in his eyes. Lenny wasn't dead.

"Not dead?"

Chris sat down again but this time on the bed, he grabbed Ezra's exposed shoulder again and turned him onto his back.

"No."

"No?"

"Are you okay Ezra?" Chris was worried, he didn't seem to be comprehending what he was being told.

"What?"

"Hold on a sec, I'll get Nathan." He was even more concerned when Ezra didn't respond to what he'd said.

Ezra didn't care, he rolled back over and closed his eyes, someone was playing a cruel joke, he was told that morning that Lenny was dead now he was being told that he wasn't. He wanted the darkness back, maybe Nathan would give him some more of those pills. He felt the bed shift then someone's hands pulled him onto his back, he struggled against them. His right eyelid was forced open and he tried to swipe at the offending force but someone grabbed his hand and held it down against the bed.

"He's till a bit groggy Chris, he just needs some time to wake up." Nathan informed him.

Ezra managed to push Nathan away from his face, but he felt it was due to the fact that he'd let him, he rolled back over but all that went through his confused mind was Lenny, first dead then alive. What were they doing to him? Were they paying him back for everything that he had done wrong since joining the team? Was it a way for them to get rid of him? No it wasn't the guys that were doing this. A thought struck him, the phone call he'd taken that morning, the guy had asked if he'd been told yet and that he would call back later, maybe he did and he told Chris that Lenny wasn't dead.

"Is he really alive?" Ezra asked.

"We're pretty sure Ezra." Chris told him. "We'll give you some time to wake up then come back."

"Don't leave me alone." Ezra told them, he didn't know why he opened up to them, he had decided to push them away, they couldn't help him but at the moment he didn't want to be alone, his was afraid of his thoughts, he needed someone to be there with him.

"I won't leave Ezra, just get some rest, I'll be here." Chris sat back down in the chair and smiled towards Nathan.

"I'll go and put some coffee on." Nathan took one last look at Ezra then left.

An hour later Ezra was sitting on the long lounge with Chris on one side of him and Josiah on the other. The older man kept touching him to show his concern and Ezra cringed each time he did, he'd finally told him to stop, he couldn't handle the amount of concern they were showing him. It felt more like pity than anything else and he didn't want it, especially if Lenny wasn't dead. He leaned forward and put his empty cup on the coffee table but it soon disappeared when JD took it and returned it to the kitchen, Ezra grimaced at him.

He continued to listen as they repeated the information that Thompson had passed on to them, his listened with rapped attention until the prothsesis was mentioned, his head turned towards Chris as the words spilled out of his leader's mouth. His cold stare caused Chris to stop what he was saying.

"Ezra what's wrong?" Chris looked at the emotion that filled Ezra's eyes, it was a mixture of anger and loss.

"You lied to me." Ezra kept his voice low.

"What do you mean?" Chris voiced his confusion.

"You told me he wasn't dead, you lied to me. Are you playing some sort of sick joke!?"

"What are you talking about Ezra?" Josiah spoke from the other side.

Ezra stood up and walked away from them, Chris followed him.

"Lenny had a second prothesis put into his elbow four years ago, if you or Thompson had gone to the trouble of checking further you'd know that but instead you had to make me think he was alive when he wasn't!" Ezra backed away as Chris came closer. His back hit the wall and he allowed himself to slide to the floor. "You made me think he was alive."

"I'm sorry Ezra, I didn't know, your right we should have checked." Chris knelt down in front of him.

"You made me think he was alive." Ezra repeated, his voice was barely a whisper. "Why did you do that?"

"We thought that he was alive Ezra, we didn't know about the prothesis, neither did Thompson and he was also a close friend of Lenny's." Chris told him.

Ezra drew his legs up and placed his head on his knees to hide the tears. His hope had been shattered, his healing heart was torn open again, he couldn't deal with this, he began to convulse as the emotions poured out. He felt someone's hands take him and draw him close to them, he didn't fight them, he couldn't control the feelings that he had held onto with a strong grip any longer.

"I'm sorry Ezra." Chris could see the emotions take control of the Southerner, he reached out and wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. He felt awkward but Ezra needed a friend, he needed to be comforted and most of all he needed to mourn for his murdered friend and he wouldn't let him do it alone.

Ezra felt the embrace strengthen as he was pulled closer to a comforting force, everything his mother taught him told him to pull away, to push his emotions to the back of his mind and gain control of himself but his heart told him what Lenny had tried to teach him, he needed to let these types of emotions out or they could destroy him. The thought of Lenny brought new tears to his eyes.

"Ezra there's something else, but we'll talk about it when your ready." Chris spoke into the shaking man's ear.

Ezra took a few minutes to gain control of himself, he was beginning to feel embarrased, he'd never acted like this in front of other people, only Lenny and it had only been the once when things had become too much for him after the rumours had started. He pushed himself away and began to wipe his moist eyes.

Chris allowed Ezra to move away from him but he stayed close, he berated himself for speaking, his voice had ended Ezra's much needed emotional outburst, now he was going to lock it away again.

"What is it this time?" Ezra asked, he didn't hide his sarcasm. "Lenny had a twin brother and it was he who died and not Lenny!"

"Ezra we're trying to help, we made a mistake, don't push us away because of it." Josiah moved towards him.

Ezra turned away from them and leaned against the wall. "What else is there?"

Chris looked over his shoulder at the others, Buck hadn't returned yet. Josiah nodded at him to continue.

"Someone phoned earlier, he wanted to talk to you, he claimed to be the person who killed Lenny." Chris was surprised by the look on Ezra's face when his head quickly turned to face him.

"Someone told you he killed Lenny and you still thought that he was alive. Are you stupid! Jesus, what are you trying to do to me!?" Ezra growled at him. "Wasn't that enough evidence for you to know that he was dead, you still had to tell me otherwise!" He looked around the room at the other men. "Oh I know what it is, your getting back at me for what happened before, your trying to make me suffer because of what I did when I went undercover."

"Ezra that's not true!" Chris told him. "You know none of that was your fault, we were the ones that made the mistake."

"Isn't it!?" Ezra pushed himself up and used the wall for support. "You never liked him, you hated him, your probably glad he's dead!"

"Ezra, none of us liked Lenny, we admit that but he was your friend, were not glad he's dead, we knew what he meant to you, if we could bring him back for you we would. We know your suffering, we don't want to make it any harder for you, we just want to help you." Josiah told him as he stood next to him.

"He was the only real friend that I've ever had Josiah." He felt the tears fill his eyes again and he struggled to stop them from falling but he couldn't, he felt the dampness run down his cheeks.

"I know Ezra, I know." This time Josiah took the Southerner into his arms and held onto him.

The only noise that could be heard was Ezra's tears as he cried for his friend, no one dared speak for fear of stopping him again. When Ezra began to become quiet Josiah led the smaller man back to the couch, he gently forced him to sit down, he took the tissue that Nathan handed to him and gave it to Ezra.

"I'm sorry." Ezra whispered.

"That's okay Ezra, you need to cry, you lost a good friend, you can't keep what your feeling inside, you have to let it out." Josiah put his arm around him and gave him a comforting hug.

Ezra nodded and leaned back into the couch. "This man that phoned, did he say anything about me being told about something?"

"He said that because we were here that you must have been told about Lenny." Chris walked to the couch and sat down next to Ezra. "Has he already contacted you?"

"That prank that I mentioned, someone called me at about eight forty five this morning, didn't give his name, he said," Ezra's brow wrinkled in concentration, "I take it you haven't been told yet and that he'd call me back later."

"It would have to be the same guy." Chris agreed.

"What else did he say?" Ezra turned his damp eyes to Chris.

"That he only wanted to talk to you, said he call back tonight." Chris told him. "Thompson is faxing through information on the case that Lenny worked on to the office, that's where Buck is."

"But you don't think that has anything to do with it, you think this guy is after me, that's why he's calling me." Ezra stated. "Lenny died because someone wanted to get to me."

'Shit!' Chris thought to himself. "This isn't your fault Ezra, you can't blame yourself for his death. Please don't do that!"

Ezra looked down at his hands, they were tearing the tissue apart, just like his heart was being torn apart. This is why his mother always told him not to get close to people, that they could be used against him. Why didn't he listen, why did he ever let Lenny in, now Lenny had paid the cost of being his friend. Of course it was his fault that his friend, the man that he thought of as a brother was dead, the guilt belonged to him and the man that killed Lenny.

"Ezra?"

"What?"

"Don't blame yourself!" Chris growled at him.

"How long are you going to stay here." Ezra ignored Chris' order.

"For as long as it takes to catch this guy, and then longer if you need someone to stay, you won't have a choice in the matter Ezra, we're not going to leave you alone." Chris told him.

"Fucking great!" Ezra pushed himself off the couch and headed to his room, the door slammed behind him.

Chris followed him but this time the door was gently closed, he felt no anger towards Ezra, he knew what he was going through. He looked at the form that was curled up on it's side on the bed, he moved forward and sat on the bed and faced Ezra.

"Go away and leave me alone!"

"I'm not going to do that Ezra." Chris told him.

"I'm fine!" Ezra argued with him.

"No your not." Chris reached his arm out to him but Ezra violenty pushed it away. "Ezra, I understand, I know what your going through."

Ezra looked up at him from his position on the bed, he curled himself up even tighter trying to protect himself from any more hurt but it still managed to find it's way into his soul. "Then you also know that I need to be alone."

"Yes I do Ezra but not now, I also know you, you'll probably be out that window before I even leave the room." Chris tried to smile to make Ezra feel at ease but he only managed a weak smile that hardly showed itself on his face.

"What if I give you my word that I won't leave." Ezra's eyes did his pleading for him.

"Okay, promise me that you won't leave." Chris stood up.

"I give you my word Chris."

"That's good enough for me Ezra." He walked away and gripped the door handle. "I'll come and get you when Buck gets back." He sighed when Ezra shut him out, his face was buried in his pillow and he could see that his body was already beginning to shake.

Chris opened the door and left the room, he quietly closed the barrier behind him and the sound of Ezra's torment ended abruptly, he stood by the door for a few minutes then turned back to the men who were watching him, he walked to the couch and sat down. Chris took the cup of coffee that JD offered him, he lifted it to his mouth but stopped, he watched as the steam floated up and touch his face with it's moisture, it gave him a feeling of sadness, the dampness on his face reminded him of the tears that had fallen from his own eyes and the trails of mourning that were now lining Ezra's features. God he hated this shit, he wanted to do something to take the pain from Ezra's heart and his own.

"You want me to go and sit with him?" Josiah asked Chris but he seemed to be distracted, he nudged him with his finger then repeated his question.

"He wants and needs some time alone." Chris looked down into his coffee, distance memories began to repeat in his mind, everything was coming back to him and he didn't want it, not now, Ezra needed him, he wasn't going to be able to help him if he became emotional. The rememberance of those first days after he had been told about his wife and son's murder forced it's way through his defences. He hadn't been able to cope, Buck had been there for him but he refused his help and took refuge in a bottle instead. He was going to make sure that Ezra won't make the same mistake that he did, even if he didn't accept their help they were going to force him to take it but what about himself, after this was over he was going to have to talk to someone, he was going to have to deal with the feelings that this had brought back, he couldn't just push them away again.

Maybe Josiah was right, he should use these feelings to help himself as well as Ezra, he could talk to the Southerner, it seemed like they were now soulmates when it came to feeling the loss of a loved one. Chris' loss had been family, but Ezra's was more, he had lost an important friendship, Lenny was the only thing in his life that was good to him, Chris was hoping that they could give Ezra the same thing that he had with Lenny but it was going to take a long time for him to fully trust them the same way that he'd trusted Lenny. The trust he'd had with the agent allowed him to share his emotions, his fears, his dreams and his heart. He had never done that with another person, Lenny had been everything to Ezra and more.

"Thought you weren't going to leave him alone." Vin spoke from one of the chairs that adorned the large living space.

"He gave me his word that he wouldn't leave, besides I know he won't try and leave until after he talks to this guy, he'd be running blind if he left now." Chris explained, he was grateful for the interruption that Vin's voice brought, he pushed his memories and feelings aside, he would deal with them later.

"You sure about that?" Vin asked him, it had been Chris who said that Ezra would try and leave and now he was leaving him on his own.

"Of course I'm sure! I know how he's thinking, I went through it myself remember!" Chris' harshness suprised everyone but Josiah.

"I know." Vin answered quietly.

Chris wanted to apologise but he didn't, Vin was questioning him and the way he was dealing with this, he didn't have the right to do that, no one did, he knew what Ezra was feeling and thinking. The shock had finally left Ezra but was replaced with a feeling of total loss, his emotions had taken control, the anger would come next, he would be angry at everything and everyone. And it was at this time that he was going to need them the most, they had to stay close to him and not allow him to push them away.

All five men tensed up when they heard the front door, Buck called out to them so they wouldn't shoot him when he physically appeared in front of them. He walked towards the couch with a thick folder, he dropped it on the table that was centered in the middle of the room, some of the facimilies slipped out and the words looked up at the men who now surrounded it. Buck went to help himself to coffee, he needed it after reading through what Thompson had faxed to him. Chris and the others waited patiently for him, they could tell by his features that the news wasn't going to be good.

Buck returned to the lounge room and sat down next to Chris, he saw the same look that had been a constant companion after his wife and son had died, the haunted appearance had returned.

"How's Ezra? How did he take the news?" He glanced around at the solem faces that looked back at him. "What's wrong?"

"We told Ezra." Chris spoke for the rest of them who were still feeling awkward about Ezra's show of emotions, none of them had seen the Southerner in that sort of state before, even when they had spent the two weeks up at Chris' cabin with Ezra and Lenny, they had seen plenty of anger but never tears. "And he told us that Lenny had another prosthesis four years ago so it must have been Lenny in that car. It sounds more like they were trying to hide the corpse's identity and didn't know about the pin in his elbow."

"Aw hell." Buck muttered.

"Ezra didn't take it as well as you Buck, he was pretty angry, thought we were telling him this just to get back at him for what happened before." Chris turned his eyes back to his coffee, he had seen the recognition in Buck's eyes, his long time friend could see what he was going through. He waved his hand through the air as if to elaberate what he was saying but knew he had to say more. "The Collins situation, thinks we're glad that Lenny's dead. So everyone is going to have to be careful what they say to him."

Buck nodded and looked around the room, they were all silent, no one knew what to say to each other or to Ezra, he was afraid the silence that was going to meet the Southerner would be taken the wrong way.

"Did you read any of this stuff as it came through?" Chris asked him after he picked up the folder and began to look through it, each interruption that stopped his thoughts didn't last, it was as though it was someone's intention to make him suffer along side of Ezra.

"Yeah and you'd never guess who's name kept coming up." Buck grimaced but didn't give anyone a chance to come up with a name, he knew they weren't in the mood for games. "George Merchant."

"Merchant?" Chris was surprised.

"Merchant." Buck echoed.

Ezra stood on the other side of the door, he wiped at his face and felt the moisture on the back of his hand, he listened to the muffled voices that came from the lounge room, he made out some of the words but not enough to know what they were talking about. He didn't want to go out there and face them after what he'd done, he felt so vulnerable, his face was an open book, they could read his features in much the same way as they were able to read a book, his expressions gave them a story just like the written words in a novel. Ezra had never shown anyone other than Lenny that side of himself and now these men had seen it. He could picture the expressions that would be on the six men's faces and he dreaded it, they would feel awkward, they won't know what to say to him but he was feeling the same way, he didn't know what to do in return.

He made sure that his face was dry and after taking a deep breath he opened the door and faced the men that were not going to leave him alone, in one way he was grateful knowing that he didn't have to deal with this on his own but they were also going to try and stop him from going after the man who had killed Lenny. His emotions lurched and threatened to take control of his heart once more at the thought of his friend's death, he fought to gain control, it was a struggle but he managed to do it before he faced the men who had taken up a permanent residence in his townhouse.

He stepped into the lounge room and felt their eyes upon him but he wouldn't look at them in return, he didn't want to see the sympathy that he knew would be there, the only face that held understanding was Chris'. He saw someone get off the lounge, a space was left open for him so he could sit between the two men who had remained on it, he didn't want that, he stood next to the chair closest to his room and looked down at Josiah, the older man must have read his thoughts. When Josiah moved from his position Ezra sat down in the chair that was seperated from everyone else, it was one way of stopping them from getting too close. He felt Josiah's hand on his shoulder, the gentle squeeze gave him a small amount of security, but he would only allow them to help him when he was ready. There were other things that had to be done first, the man that killed Lenny had to be caught. He shrugged Josiah's hand off, he would accept his concern at a later time.

But Josiah didn't give up, he patted Ezra's shoulder a second time just so he knew that he was still there, that the Southerner hadn't managed to push him away. He didn't move away from the chair either, he sat down on the arm of the large chair, he was going to stay close to his young friend, he didn't want to be too far away when Ezra did reach out for them, he wasn't going to be able to keep them away on a permanent basis, a time was going to come when he wouldn't be able to take it anymore, the emotions would be too much for him and he would break down. He couldn't and shouldn't be alone when that finally did happen.

Ezra saw someone coming towards him and he instantly put his wall in front of him so whoever it was couldn't get through to him, he didn't want them to see what he was feeling. The figure knelt down in front of him, he lifted his eyes and expected to see Chris but instead it was Buck. He felt the man's hands on his knees, he wanted to kick out at him to force him to remove them, he knew he should use his voice instead but he couldn't be bothered, the use of his legs would be less of an effort on his part.

"Ezra." Buck looked up into the tortured green eyes, he saw the same thing that he had seen in Chris' eyes five years ago but that look had also returned to his friend, he was torn between Ezra and Chris, he wanted to help both of them, he forced himself to concentrate on Ezra, his emotional wounds were fresh, he was hurting more than Chris. "I'm sorry about Lenny. I want you to know that we're here for you, you may not want us here at the moment but when your ready we'll be here . . . we're going to do everything we can to catch this guy Ezra. Your not going to do it your own." Buck could see the anger building in Ezra's eyes but he didn't realise that the anger was aimed at him so he continued.

Chris had known that Buck would want to talk to Ezra, to explain to him that he wasn't going to be alone, he had heard the same speech when he had woken up in a hospital, the forced admittance had resulted from a drunken stupor that had lasted three days, it nearly resulted in the welcoming death that he had secretly sought out. But this time it wasn't going the same way, he had been angry when Buck spoke to him but the anger had been aimed at himself and the people that had killed his family. He could see that Ezra's anger was building but something told him that it was aimed directly at Buck, he had no idea why but thought that the best thing to do would be to stop Buck and remove him from Ezra's line of sight but he didn't act quick enough.

"Why would you be here for me?" Ezra growled down at him. "Why would you even want to catch this guy?"

"Ezra I . . . " Buck slowly stood up and backed away from Ezra, he knew and understood what the Southerner was capable of doing if you pushed him to far and he knew he had, he could see the same anger in his eyes that was evident when he kicked Chris when he had tried to explain his reasons for treating Ezra the way he did.

"You got what you wanted. I'm hurting just like Chris was and is still hurting. That's what you wanted isn't it!?" Ezra's voice was becoming louder, it began to rise to catch up with the level of anger that was now near breaking point.

"You know that's not what I want." Buck spoke calmly, Ezra didn't need anymore aggrevation.

"Yes you do!" Ezra yelled at him as he angrily pushed himself up into a standing position, he could no longer control the anger that had begun to fill his soul, he needed to get rid of it and Buck was the perfect target and he wasn't going to feel any guilt over it. "That's what you told me! You wanted to hurt me, now I'm hurting. Does that make you happy that you've gotten what you wanted!"

Buck hung his head, Ezra was right, that was what he had wanted. "I don't want that anymore Ezra, I don't like seeing you hurt like this, you don't deserve it."

"But Lenny does is that it?" Ezra advanced on him, but he felt large hands grab his arms and pull him back, he struggled against the person who was holding him while his verbal assault continued. "You hated him! All of you did! None of you care that he's dead! And you least of all! You wanted to hurt me and now I'm hurting! You got what you wanted!"

"Ezra!" Josiah spoke into the struggling Southerner's ear. "It isn't Buck's fault, don't take your anger out on him."

"He wanted to hurt me Josiah." Ezra didn't look at him but continued to try and pull away from him but Josiah's determination and strength outweighed Ezra's emotionaly destraught form.

"They were different circumstances Ezra, things have changed since then, you know now that Buck would never want to hurt you that way again." Josiah turned the smaller man towards him, he needed to get his full attention.

"I don't know that, the only thing I do know is that none of you care about what happened to Lenny and if you don't care about that then you don't care or understand what I'm going through." Ezra's anger left him, he no longer struggled against Josiah's grip, he looked up into the light blue eyes that stared back at him.

"We do care Ezra, we care about what happened to Lenny because we care about you." He tried to pull Ezra towards him, he thought that he would accept the embrace because he had stopped trying to get away but Ezra violenty pushed himself away from him, Josiah tired to hold on but the sound of the telephone ringing distracted him. The Southerner succeeded in removing himself from his hold.

JD quickly disappeared into the spare room where the recording equipment had been set up. Chris hadn't wanted Ezra to see that they had bugged the phone, he knew the undercover agent wasn't stupid but his emotions would be clouding his judgement, he might not think about it soon enough to stop the call from being recorded.

"You don't have to talk to him Ezra." Josiah stood even closer to his friend, he was hoping to protect him from what the phone call would do to him, he was already in a bad way and didn't want anything to add to his suffering.

Ezra ignored him and stepped towards the phone, he glanced over his shoulder and saw Chris, the man nodded in understanding. The Southerner turned back to the cordless phone and reached out a shaking hand, he gripped the reciever tightly in his hand and lifted it to his ear.

"Standish." He kept control of his voice, the person on the other side wasn't going to be in control of this conversation.

"Get rid of the phone tap." Was the only statement.

Ezra frowned in confusion, then it hit him, how could he have been so stupid, of course they would have the phone tapped, he turned his angry expression towards Chris.

"You put a tap on the phone, take it off." Ezra saw the hesitation in Chris' body language. He put his palm over the mouth piece. "Get rid of it!"

"No." Chris needed to make it look good, if he got rid of the first tap so easily then Ezra would suspect that they had a backup.

He turned back to the phone. "Can you give me a minute?"

"Sure, as long as there isn't a trace on the phone." But the man knew that there wasn't, a small laugh followed his words, he was enjoying himself and this made Ezra even more angry.

The Southerner put the man on hold, Lenny was already dead, there wasn't anything else this man could do to his friend, he smiled then turned towards the group of men, he noticed that JD was no longer in the room. He knew that his words weren't going to convince them to take the tap off the phone so he had to do something else. He walked towards his room, he knew they would follow him so he moved quickly. He saw his gun lying on the bedside table, he moved towards it and before anyone knew what he was doing he had the gun in his hand. He turned around to find Chris standing in front of him, he continued to ignore him. He pushed passed the man he had thought understood what he was going through, it had obviously been an act.

"Ezra what the hell are you doing?" Chris asked him, he would have restrained him but couldn't risk the gun going off and causing someone an injury.

"You won't get rid of it so I am." Ezra growled at him as he made his way to the spare room, it was the only place that JD could have gone.

Ezra opened the door to find JD sitting in front of makeshift table, a recorder sat on top of it, the wheels that held the tape were turning, his conversation was being recorded. He grimaced at the head phones that sat against JD's ears, the young man hadn't heard him come in. Ezra raised the gun and fired a single bullet into the recorder. JD practically fell from his seat, Ezra moved forward and put the phone on the table, he then tore the headphones off JD's head and threw them across the room, they broke when they hit the wall, much like his alarm clocks did, he then picked the phone back up and grabbed a handful of the shocked young man's shirt and dragged him out of the room. Ezra didn't even realise that no one had really tried to stop him, he was too angry to think.

He took the caller off hold and spoke into the phone. "It's gone."

"There's a second one." Ezra thought that he heard admiration in the tone. "I'll call back in five minutes, your going to need more time to get rid of it." The conversation ended.

Chris watched Ezra carefully, he could see the controlled anger that filled him, he knew that he wouldn't hurt JD, but he was ready just in case he lost control, he could feel Buck tense up beside him and was grateful that he didn't move towards the Southerner, if he had it may have caused damage to the trust that had built up between them since they had come back from the cabin two months ago, damage that they would not be able to repair. He saw Ezra put the phone down, the conversation couldn't have been over that quickly, he was about to say something when Ezra headed back to the spare room, he followed him into the room and found him searching through the boxes.

"What are you doing Ezra?" But he knew, his undercover agent had worked out that there was a second tap, therefore more recording equipment. He looked sideways at JD who nodded to one of the boxes in the corner of the room, it would only be a matter of minutes before Ezra found it. He had to think of something quick, he moved forward.

"Ezra! I asked you what your doing." Chris grabbed him and spun him around.

Ezra pushed him away. "You know what I'm doing so you can stop playing your stupid games!"

The undercover agent continued to search for the second tap, he had to find it before the guy called back. He knew the man wanted something from him, otherwise he wouldn't care who was listening in on the call.

"Ezra, do you trust me?" Chris asked him, his words stopped the Southerner and the smile that covered his face caused a cold feeling to grip his heart.

"At the moment? No I don't and if I find a second tap, there will no longer be any trust between us!" Ezra growled at him.

"It's in the box in the corner." Chris admitted, he didn't want to loose Ezra's trust, it would be better for him to tell him where it was rather than stay silent, Ezra would take that silence as a lie.

"Get rid of it JD." Ezra kept his eyes on Chris' face.

JD looked at Chris for confirmation.

"Don't look at him! This is my home, my problem, you do what I ask or you can all leave!" Ezra's cold tone told them that he wouldn't take anymore from them.

"Sorry Ezra." JD mumbled as he made his way past Chris, he felt his leader's hand gently slap his back, he knew the small touch was his way of giving him the encouragement he needed to face the angry Southerner. "I only want to help."

Ezra sighed and nodded his head, he shouldn't be taking his anger out on JD, he had never done anything wrong to him, he never meant to harm him in any way. "I'm sorry JD."

JD smiled at him then bent down and opened the box, he took the still running recorder out and turned it off.

"Disable it JD, I don't want you turning it back on when I'm not looking." He waited until JD carried out his instructions, when he knew that the recorder was no longer going to record the conversation that he was about to endure he left the room.

Ezra took the phone and sat down on the couch, he held it in his hand and waited for the first vibration that would tell him that it was about to ring. He watched out of the corner of his eye as the men surrounded him, they too waited but they weren't going to be involved in the conversation like they had hoped. The man wanted to deal with him, no one else, he wanted something and he didn't want his friends to know what that something was. Ezra jumped when the phone rang, he was to caught up in his own thoughts to be prepared.

"We're here for you Ezra." Chris reminded him.

Ezra glared at him and when Chris looked away he opened the phone line. "What do you want?" He wanted to get right to the point.

"Lenny Hoskins is not dead." The man on the other end didn't want to beat around the bush either, he knew the undercover agent was good at his job, that's why they were doing this, the man was too good at what he did, it was the man who had been working with him that had given their cover away, he had been recognised by one of Merchant's men. He knew the Agent always had to put up a calm exterior and he was doing it now, it was a strange contrast to the man that had cried in front of his friends earlier.

"What?" Ezra whispered. He didn't think the man had heard him so he was about to say something else.

"I said he's not dead." He repeated for the Southerner's benefit. "Are you on your own?"

Ezra looked up at the group of men, they all held the same expression of confusion.

"I will be." He got up off the lounge and walked to his room, he slammed the door for a second time hoping that the anger that he showed by doing so would stop them from following him. They didn't but it didn't mean that one of them wasn't listening at the door.

"Vin go outside, keep an eye on Ezra's bedroom window, stop him if he tries to leave, do anything you have to, if he thinks that we've let him go we'll never find him." Chris ordered the ex-bounty hunter. "Josiah, go and listen at the door, maybe you might be able to hear something."

"The guy on the other end knew the phone was tapped." JD told Chris after Vin and Josiah moved away from them. "He was confident about it too. He just said, 'Get rid of the phone tap'. Then Ezra put him on hold."

"Will you be able to get anything off the second tape?" Chris asked him.

"Only if I take it back to the office, the recording tape is still intact, I just don't have anything here to play it on." JD answered.

"Do it." Chris nodded to him. "Even if it's only a few words it might give us something and that would be more than Ezra's going to give us. Take my car." Chris tossed him his keys, he didn't like the idea of JD driving his car, in fact none of them liked the thought of JD driving their cars but sometimes they just didn't have a choice.

"You want me to go with him Chris?" Buck asked him, but his eyes were on his young friend's back as he watched him leave the room, his concern was already building.

"No, JD's quite capable of doing what's required, I need you here." Chris told him.

Ezra sat down on his bed, he was facing the window and the late evening sunlight that drifted through and glanced off his carpet gave him a sense of false reality, it was like a dream that wasn't going to end. How many times was someone going to tell him that Lenny was still alive. He just wanted to hang up on the person who was playing a sick joke but the slight hope that he felt stopped him from going through with it. He heard the impatient breathing on the other end of the line.

"I'm alone." Ezra didn't say anymore, he no longer had control over the situation, if this man was telling him the truth then he was the one with all the control and Ezra would do anything that he asked to save the man he thought of as a brother, he'd even give this man his own life.

"Do you understand what I told you?"

"Yes but I want proof, I've already been told once today that he was alive, they made a mistake, I want to make sure that there is no doubt this time."

Ezra didn't receive an answer instead he heard Lenny's voice, he was stunned, the man did tell the truth, he slid off the bed and sat on the floor, he leaned his back against the mattress, he needed the support, he would fall over otherwise.

"Lenny?"

Lenny watched through painfilled eyes as the man who had called himself Stephens paced in front of him, a wicked smile crossed the bottom half of his face but the scar on his top lip made it lopsided. Lenny knew what this man was doing to Ezra and as soon as he was physically capable, he would kill him with his own hands. He knew what his death would do to Ezra and so far his friend had gone through it twice, he was also going to kill Larabee for making such a stupid mistake, if the bad guys could do their homework then why couldn't the ATF agent. He was furious and someone was going to pay for what Ezra had suffered.

The man's brown eyes continued to watch Hoskins while he spoke to Ezra, he knew that the FBI agent was listening to the Southern voice that came through the speaker. He saw the grimace on the battered face when his friend asked for proof, he stepped towards him and placed the phone against the right side of his face.

Lenny didn't hesitate, he didn't want Ezra to suffer anymore.

"Ezra, it's me, it's Lenny, I'm okay." He heard Ezra's whispered reply, it echoed in his ear because the equipment ran a second or two slower than the real time conversation. "Yeah Ezra it's me. I don't want you worrying about me, I'm fine. I know what you've . . . "

Stephens pulled the phone away before Hoskins was able to tell the undercover agent that his apartment had been bugged.

"You believe me now Standish?" He smiled. "Good. Listen up because I'm only going to say this once."

Lenny's anger continued to grow while the conversation unfolded, he didn't know why this man had taken him but now he was finding out.

"I want you to back off on the Merchant case, your to have it closed, we've already been contacted by Tanner to say that you've changed your mind but we know that as soon as you get over this that you'll come back."

"And what if my boss won't agree to that?" Ezra's voice reached Lenny's ears, he could tell that he had gained some control.

"You'll make him agree, your friend's life depends on you now." Stephens warned him. "You care to much about him to let Larabee continue with the case. You'll do anything to keep him alive." He smiled down at Lenny.

"If that's what you wanted why did you make it look like he was dead, you would have gotten the same result if you just threatened to kill him, you didn't have to take another man's life." Lenny recognised the anger in Ezra's voice.

"Because if I did it that way, you might have included Larabee, asked for his help, things would have gone wrong. You see, Larabee doesn't care about Hoskins, he wouldn't give a shit if his life was under threat, he would have tried to convince you that they would help, that they'd find Hoskins and if you didn't allow them to help they would have done it without your knowledge. But by making you know what it would feel like to loose him, I've put you in the position where you would do anything and I mean anything so you won't have to go through that again and knowing that Lenny's alive, you'd want to keep him that way." Stephens heard the hesitation. "I'm right aren't I?"

"Yes." Ezra answered him. "But I'm going to have to give him a reason."

"So give him one, but don't tell them that Hoskins is still alive." He turned his back on Lenny. "As far as they're concerned he's still dead."

Stephens didn't get an answer but he didn't care, he had Standish where he wanted him, the man would do whatever it took to stop his friend from dying a third time.

"I myself am also going to need proof that the case is closed and that it won't be reopened again." Stephens stated.

"And how am I supposed to do that? I can get the case closed but it would be a lot harder to keep it that way." Ezra growled at him.

Lenny smiled, Ezra was becoming his old self, he felt a relief fill him, it had nearly destroyed him when he heard Ezra cry over his death. He had been devestated, but then to be told that he was alive only to find out that it was a mistake, Ezra's reaction had tore through his own heart.

"You'll think of something, your a smart man Standish." Stephens moved towards the table that held the surveillance equipment. "Give me your mobile number," he wrote down a set of numbers, "I'll give you twelve hours then I'll call you on your mobile. I tell you where you can leave the proof, if I'm satisfied then I'll contact you a second time and let you know where Hoskins is."

"No, I'll swap the proof for Lenny. You said it yourself, I'm not stupid, I know you'll kill him after you get what you want." Ezra argued.

"Fine, if that's what you want, I'll call you in twelve hours with directions." He didn't give Ezra a chance to answer, he hung up the phone.

Lenny saw the anger in the man's eyes.

"He's good at what he does, isn't he?" He walked towards Lenny. "Pity that your real death is going to destroy him, but he won't suffer long, he'll die soon after you do. I mean the only real way to make sure that they leave Merchant alone is to kill the ATF's best undercover agent."

Lenny was too shocked to speak, Ezra was going to walk straight into a trap and there was nothing he could do, he could only hope that Ezra wasn't going to be too stubborn to stop his friends from helping him, but if they did this man would know everything that they planned on doing. He had bugged Ezra's home so he could follow his friend's reaction to his death and through doing this he had learned that Ezra would do anything to help him. The man was going to get the case closed, the ATF would leave Merchant alone and Ezra was going to die.

Ezra opened the door of his room, he stepped out through the doorway and bumped into Josiah, he hadn't seen him standing there, he moved around the taller man without looking at him and walked into the living room. He didn't register the lone tear that fell from his right eye, it left a line of moisture for his friends to see. He walked between the three men who were staring opened mouthed at him, and sat down on the lounge, he heard their voices but couldn't make out the words.

Ezra had been able to keep his emotions in control after the revelation that Lenny was still alive, he'd managed to stay calm during the conversation, he had even become angry, but now he had lost it completely. The emotions burst through the wall that he'd built and were now running out of control. Each time he tried to grab them and force them back behind his wall they would slip through his grasp and then rebel against their attempted capture, they became even stronger and forced the mind and body to go into shock.

His hands were shaking, someone took the phone from him, they had to pry his fingers open to get to it, another hand was on his shoulder, it shook him but he didn't acknowledge it. He didn't want to. His mind seemed to be covered by a heavy fog of confusion and emotional torment, it caused him to become oblivious to everything around him. But his inner thoughts continued to find their way to his consciousness. First Lenny was dead, then he was alive, then dead again and now he had proof that he was alive.

They were both having one hell of a day, for him it was an emotional rollercoaster ride through hell and he had no idea what Lenny was going through. How long was he going to be alive for this time. It was all his own fault, the man wanted to get to him and he used Lenny to do it. Lenny had said that he was okay but that didn't mean that something had happened to him physically, he was capable of lying to him if he thought it was absolutely necessary to protect him.

"Ezra!" Chris shouted into his ear, the undercover agent didn't respond to him. "What the hell is wrong with him Nathan?"

"Shock, but it's worse this time." Nathan told them, he moved towards Ezra and knelt down in front of him, he used his gentle fingers to check his pulse and pupils. "Buck could you make some of that tea that Ezra drinks, put enough sugar in it to make it sweet."

"Jesus, what did that guy say to him." Chris wanted to know. He tried to remove the phone from Ezra's hand but the Southerner's grip was tight, his knuckles were turning white.

"Shouldn't you be taking him to a hospital if it's that bad?" Josiah came forward and sat down next to Ezra.

"I'll give him an hour, if he doesn't snap out of it, we'll take him in." Nathan agreed.

Josiah took Ezra's chin and turned his head so he could look into his eyes, they were glazed over. "Ezra?" He watched as another tear fell from the Southerner's moist filled eyes. "Ezra." Josiah took the trembling man into his large embrace, he guided his head towards his shoulder then held onto him as tightly as he could without hurting him. He could feel the tremors that wracked his friend's body, but the tears had stopped, they wouldn't flow. His emotions seemed to have taken control but were not releasing themselves from their owner, they apparaently wanted his torture to continue.

"For someone who makes a living of being in control he's not doing so good." Stephens turned to smile at Lenny. "Is he."

"You know nothing about him." Lenny glared back at the ugly smile.

"I know what I need to know. He won't involve the others, you'll die, he'll die and his friends won't be any the wiser as to who arranged it."

"They'll put it together, Merchant was involved in my case, there's a coincidence, you know they've already found it." It was Lenny's turn to smile. "They're going to go after Merchant, if he'd just left it alone he would have been safe, there was no evidence on the guy, he's dug his own grave by hiring you."

Stephens picked up the small metal rod that lay in front of the speakers, he stood up and made sure the FBI agent didn't see it, he took the three steps needed to place him in front of his prisoner.

"Are you saying I'm stupid? That I don't know what I'm doing?" He growled down at him.

"Take it anyway you want. A smart person wouldn't be going to all this trouble, your leaving loose ends, what about the bugs you put in Ezra's apartment, there not going to stay hidden for too much longer. When Ezra gets his control back, he'll get the better of you, your under estimating him, he's a lot smarter than you think." Lenny's smile grew, he had to distract himself from the sound of his friend's emotional torment. The Southerner's silence was tearing him apart. "And from what you've heard, Larabee and the others are going to take care of him, they won't let him die."

"But they won't be following him." Stephens didn't like the way this conversation was going. "They won't know what he's doing."

Lenny shrugged. "Even if you did manage to kill Ezra, which I know won't happen, they won't let it rest until they find the person who killed him, and when they find him that man will suffer. And we know who that man is don't we." Lenny knew he had managed to put some doubt into the man's mind, he won't be so confident anymore.

"We'll just wait and see, I'm the one with the upper hand, I'm going to know what they're going to do, and I'll be ready for them. Your friend will die but only after he watches you die, and you know what that will do to him." Stephens didn't wait for Lenny's reaction, he swung his arm around and the force of the blow against the side of the agent's head, threw both the unconscious form and chair over onto their sides. The hired killer didn't bother to pick them up, he left them both lying on the cold cement floor.

Chris quietly moved around the spacious townhouse and turned on the lights to stop the darkness that had begun to seep through the curtain covered windows, but the false light wasn't enough, shadows still filled the corners of the room. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Nathan positioned himself in front of Josiah so he could check Ezra, it had been thirty minutes since he came out of his room, there hadn't been any change during that time, the tea that Buck had made sat on the table, it was now cold and would be of no use to the Southerner. Vin and Buck also watched from the chairs that had been placed in a certain position so it's occupants could watch the inert form in Josiah's arms.

Nathan looked into Ezra's staring eyes, he wasn't seeing them, he was watching something else. He placed his large hand against the pale forehead, the colour of his own skin made the Southerner's flesh look ghostly. He felt Ezra lurch beneath him, his breath caught in his throat and he struggled to breath for a moment. The ex-medic was about to order Josiah to lie him down but Ezra blinked then continued to breath, the green eyes slowly began to focus on him.

"Ezra?" Nathan's voice was gentle but firm.

Ezra blinked and looked directly at Nathan, he blinked a second time when Chris' face came into focus as the dark clad form leaned down in front of him, he tried to back away but felt the embrace that stopped him from escaping. He pushed against the chest that he was leaning on but the person held on, whoever it was wasn't going to let him go. He was too tired to fight them emotionally or physically so he forced himself to relax, the arms that held him took this as permission to increase their comforting hold, but it wasn't comfort that he felt. They wouldn't wait until he was ready to accept it, they were trying to force him into submittance, he wasn't going to allow that, if he was to allow their concern to help him it would be on his terms.

Chris was about to say something to his undercover agent but his mobile phone interrupted him, he silently cursed it but answered it anyway, he couldn't take the risk, it may be something important. He stepped away from the couch and was unaware of Ezra's eyes following his every move.

"Larabee."

"Chris, it's JD, I've got something, I wanted to tell you over the phone and not at the house." JD's voice was full of excitement.

Chris smiled. "What is it JD, did you find something?"

"Yeah, but Chris don't say anything until I'm finished." JD warned him then continued on. "The guy told Ezra that there was a second tap and that he'll call back in five minutes because he was going to need longer to get rid of it. Chris the guy was sure about it, there didn't seem to be any doubt in his voice, I listened to it a few times to make sure and I think I know why. He's bugged Ezra's house, he must of heard you tell us to tap the phone twice, it also means he knows about the other ones in Ezra's clothes and the cars."

"So we have nothing then." Chris ablibed and hoped that JD knew what he meant. His agent knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Not really, you see Buck and I put two taps on Ezra's car as well but the guy will think that there's only one." Chris knew that JD was grinning from ear to ear.

He couldn't understand why they felt the need to protect him, they were always of the opinion that he needed to be taken care of but what the team didn't understand was that if he didn't think JD was capable of doing his job he wouldn't be on the team. Everyone except Ezra that was. A smile crept onto Chris' face as an idea struck him. The Southerner treated JD as an equal, he never assumed that the younger agent wouldn't or couldn't do his job. And there was something else, Ezra would never lie to him like he would lie to the rest of them. But Chris knew that Ezra only lied to protect himself, to keep his emotions and fears from the other men, it was a form of protection for his undercover agent, they all knew this, they didn't resent him for it but understood why he did it.

"JD, why don't you stay there, see if you can come up with something, I might stop in later." Chris told him.

"Will you be bringing Ezra?" The agent wasn't stupid either.

"Yeah. Call me if you get anything." Chris hung up and began to look around the apartment for some pen and paper.

Ezra continued to watch Chris as he moved about his apartment, he was confused and his mind was only starting to remember and understand what was happening, he knew he had been in a void, the last thing he remembered was sitting in his room talking to the man who had taken Lenny, his next memory was waking up to find Nathan staring at him, then the appearance of Chris' face had shocked him. His mind wanted to tick over, he needed to think of something, he had to get Chris to close the case, and to make sure that it's never to be re-opened. Once he rescued Lenny and got him to safety he would go after Merchant.

He listened to the one sided conversation that Chris was having, he ignored Nathan's calls for him to answer him, he needed to think but he couldn't, his mind was in tormoil, for the first time in his life he was afraid he wasn't going to be able to talk his way out of this situation, his fear grew with the realisation that if he couldn't Lenny was going to die. He tried to move away when he saw Chris heading back to his previous position, he knelt down next to Nathan and now they were both trying to get his attention. He had to think.

"Ezra are you going to answer me." Nathan was becoming frustrated, he knew that Ezra had come out of his state of shock, the Southerner was ignoring him.

"Ezra, answer him." Josiah spoke into the undercover agent's ear.

It was Joisah's warm breath on the side of his face that got his attention, a small sob escaped from his throat, he couldn't loose control, not now, Lenny needed him, his life depended on him, he couldn't let him down.

"I didn't hear the question." Ezra whispered.

"That's okay Ezra, I didn't ask a question, I just wanted you to acknowledge me, I needed to know that you're with us." Nathan explained.

"Ezra?" Chris spoke to him but his eyes were concentrating on something else. "You want to tell us what that guy said to you?" He put the lid back on the marker and lifted the notebook up.

Ezra didn't look at what Chris was holding, his eyes stared into the blue orbs that were watching him carefully. The stare disappeared behind a notebook that was lifted to break the eye contact, it took a moment for Ezra's eyes to adjust, the words and the meaning became clear to him. His house was bugged, someone had been listening in on what was happening, now he understood why that man knew he would do anything for Lenny, he had heard his reaction to his friends death, he had experienced Ezra's emotional torment. Ezra frowned in thought, he had an idea. If they knew the apartment was bugged then they were going to think that anything he said had to be true. He watched as Chris passed the pad around, the expressions that the others showed matched his own.

"Ezra?" Chris sat on the floor in front of the couch and looked up into Ezra's face.

Ezra lifted his head to find Josiah hovering over him. "Let me go!"

"Your alright where you are Ezra." Josiah soothed him.

"Josiah would you please LET ME GO!"

Josiah reluctantly allowed the Southerner to move away from him, Ezra gave him the impression of a cornered animal who was trying to find a way out of a situation that could result in his death, the smaller man crawled to the other side of the couch and curled himself up into a ball.

"He told me what he did to Lenny." Ezra wrapped his arms around his knees, he stared at the biege carpet and continued his lie. "Wanted me to know how he suffered . . . " he saw Josiah move towards him, he used his feet to try and get away from him, but he couldn't go any further, he quickly jumped to his feet so he could defend himself. "Don't come near me Josiah."

"Did he want anything from you Ezra?" Chris asked him as he moved closer to his undercover agent, he felt something nagging at the back of his mind but decided to ignore it for it now, he could get back to it later.

Ezra looked at Chris, he shook his head telling him that the man didn't. "He just wanted me to know . . . "

"Do you want . . . " Chris started but changed the question, it wasn't going to have anything to do with wanting to talk about it because he was going to force the Southerner to let it go. "Tell me what he said Ezra."

"Why? So you can laugh about it later. So you can tell each other that it's what he deserved?" Ezra accused him.

"You know we wouldn't do that Ezra." Chris told him. "You know us better than that."

"That's what I thought before and look where it got me." Ezra looked at the floor so he didn't see Chris's reaction, he felt it.

Chris was furious, at himself for not being able to get through to his undercover agent, at the man who had killed Hoskins, and who was now causing Ezra to suffer along with his friend but he was also angry at Ezra. He quickly moved forward and grabbed Ezra's shoulders, he made sure he kept him close so he wouldn't be able to kick out at him. Chris pushed the smaller man backwards and kept going until he slammed him against the wall. He emotionally felt the physical pain that he caused his friend.

"Chris!" Buck tried to grab him but Chris pushed him away.

"I've had enough of your selfpity Ezra, this isn't our fault, you have no right to take this out on us, we're your friends and we're trying to help you get through this!" He continued to ignore the shock and flicker of fear that flashed in Ezra's eyes but he didn't ignore the anger that slowly grew in the emerald eyes. "Your the one that's making this hard on everyone, including yourself." He lifted his hand and placed it against Ezra's face. "Will you please let us help you." He didn't get an answer. "Are you going to ruin everything that Lenny did to keep this family together."

"Yes." Ezra didn't hesitate, he needed to get away from them, he wanted the man to know that these men won't help him.

"I'm not going to let you." Chris removed his arms and turned away from Ezra, he moved back to the couch and sat down, his eyes travelled over the message that he had written. He had to get Ezra out of here and away from the person who was trying to harm him. But he needed an excuse, one that Ezra or the person listening won't suspect.

The group of men who watched Chris' outburst didn't know where to look, their eyes saw the anger that Ezra was trying to keep in control, they saw the calm exterior that Chris' form held, he had his say, it was now Ezra's turn.

"What are you going to do about the Merchant case?" Ezra asked. "I need something to do."

Ezra knew what Chris had already done, he didn't know whether Chris had been worried about him going under cover or if he didn't think that he would be able to pull it off, he was already beginning to doubt his undercover agent's abilities on this case, that's what Ezra saw everytime he looked into Chris' eyes when he looked at him. Ezra felt a different sort of sadness come over him, his knees buckled and he fell to the floor. When was he going to accept the fact that these men did care, that they did trust him, they trusted him to do his job and back them up. Why was it so hard for him to believe that, why was he still pushing them away, why was he still hiding from them.

"I put a hold on the case." Chris used his arm to stop his men from going to Ezra. "Your not going back undercover, not when your in this state Ezra."

"You may as well close it while your at it." Ezra grimaced. "It's not like I was getting anywhere with it, I had no proof, the man was making me look like a fool."

Chris smiled, he knew it, there was a reason behind all of this. The man wanted Ezra off the Merchant case, Ezra would never give up so easily. He knew that if he had to close the case he was going to have to order his agent to leave it alone, even then Ezra wouldn't have let him hear the end of it. Now they had a motive, and a who, he just had to prove it. He also had an excuse to get Ezra away from his townhouse so they could get him to talk.

"You want me to close it, why not, like you said you weren't doing your job anyway." Chris inwardly grimaced at the hurt that crossed Ezra's already painfilled expression. "We can go in the morning, do the paperwork if that's what you want."

"We do it now, and I'll put in my resignation while we're at it." Ezra pushed himself up off the floor, and made his way to his room.

Chris nodded at Vin to go with him.

"What the hell did you say that to him for?" Josiah was angry at the way Chris treated Ezra, the young agent didn't deserve it, he was hurting and the only way he knew how to dealt with emotional pain was to lash out at the nearest person.

"I was only telling him what we've known all along." Chris smiled at him, but it was an expression that told Josiah he was up to something.

Josiah nodded at him, but there was still a look of doubt on his face.

Chris waited for Ezra to come out of his room, the agent was wearing the coat that had hung on the back of his door. He looked at Vin and pulled at his own coat, the movement told Vin to get one of Ezra's other jackets. He then stepped in front of Ezra and blocked his path.

"I'll drive and we're taking Buck's car." Chris watched as the anger continued to build in the Southerner. "I don't like the idea of you driving."

"Don't think I'm capable." Ezra raised an eyebrow and handed his car keys over to Chris.

"You know why Ezra, your too emotional."

"That's what I call a rarity." Buck tried to ease the tention between the two men.

"Shut up Buck." Ezra turned to him. "I'm not in the mood for your comments."

Ezra pushed passed Chris and headed towards the door.

"Buck, you, Nathan and Vin follow us in Ezra's Jag," he threw him the keys, "I want everyone watching Ezra, I don't want him trying to get away from us." Chris went after Ezra, Josiah followed him.

Stephens lowered his forehead and allowed it to hit the table, he grimaced but refused to acknowledge the pain that it caused. Things were not going the way they were supposed to, he rolled his head to the side without lifting it and looked at the agent who was still lying on the floor in an unconscious state, the blood that flowed from his wound left a growing puddle on the floor next to him. The agent's breathing had become shallow, but he didn't care, he was going to die anyway, it didn't matter if it was sooner than later, Standish was still going to suffer either way.

He was becoming angry with himself, it wasn't Standish that he had underestimated, he was doing exactly what he expected him to do, it was Larabee that surprised him, the man wouldn't leave his agent alone. Larabee had agreed to close the Merchant case but he was going to make it difficult for Standish to get away. A thought just struck him, he wasn't even sure if Standish had taken his mobile. He started to bang his head against the table. Things were not going the way they were supposed to.

Chris stepped off the elevator, he knew Ezra was hesitant in following him so he turned around and grabbed his undercover agent by the arm and pulled him out, he noticed that Josiah was also pushing Ezra towards the dark shadows that were beyond the elevator doors. Chris could see the anger that filled the southerner's eyes, something though was missing from the emerald stare that also showed his defiance. Chris frowned as things started to come together, he knew that there was something behind everything that was happening, something other than Lenny's death, the man had said more to Ezra than the Southerner was letting on because after his friend had come out the shock that had taken control of his mind and body, he was different, something was different and now Chris needed to find out what that was and he was going to use JD to get the information that was being held at a distance from the other men.

"Come on Ezra were not going to bite you." Chris told him as he continued to pull him along.

"You've already bitten me and you left the scars to prove it!" Ezra growled at him.

"Ezra." Chris stopped and pulled at Ezra, halting his forward momentum. "I only said what I did to get you out of your home so we could talk, I don't want that guy to hear what I have to say or what your going to say. I didn't mean any of it, you need to realise that I trust you to do your job, and to know that I don't blame you if we don't get anywhere with a case. Your the best at what you do Ezra, there is no doubting that."

"It sounded like you meant it." Ezra looked at him suspiciously.

"Hell Ezra, even you should know I can LIE as well as you." He put some emphasis on the word lie to see if there was a reaction, there was but it was only slight, if he hadn't been concentrating he would have missed it. He was right, Ezra was lying, but the question was; What was he lying about and why.

"Josiah, could you take Ezra to my office, I'll go and find JD then meet you in there." Chris handed Ezra's right arm to Josiah, and walked away.

Chris could feel his undercover agent's eyes on him and he knew that his agent was preparing himself for whatever it was his boss had in mind but Chris knew that what he was going to do would take Ezra by surprise, he just hoped that Ezra was going to understand that it was for his own good, he needed the help that his friends were offering, he just wasn't ready to accept it, he still didn't fully trust them but Chris couldn't blame him for that. The leader of the seven was going to make sure that Ezra's acceptance was going to come sooner than they expected or he wanted, they knew that it was going to happen one day but only when Ezra realised that he's friends were there for him for the rest of his life, not just for a short period of time like other people had been, that they were going to be there for him in the same capacity that Lenny was; had been. maybe one of them could even take the deceased agent's place.

Ezra pulled his arm from Josiah's grip and walked towards the small kitchen, he needed some coffee, he also needed to delay what was about to happen, his mind was still full of confusion and torment, he had to get in control before Chris started asking his questions.

"Ezra . . . " Josiah went after him.

"I need some coffee Josiah, I haven't had anything since this morning, since . . . " He felt Josiah's hand on his shoulder, he shrugged him off, he couldn't understand the older man's need to continuously touch him, to show his concern through his hands, the others either did it through the use of the English language or silence, but he was yet to decide which one was worse.

"You think you could eat something?" Josiah asked him from the doorway.

"No."

Josiah leant his large physique against the door frame and watched Ezra's movements, he noticed that the smaller man's hands still shook slightly, his eyes weren't watching what he was doing, he heard the muttered oath when the hot water from the urn splashed onto his hand. Josiah looked at the floor and shook his head, he could never understand why Ezra had to be so stubborn.

"Something wrong Mr Sanchez?" Ezra had turned to see the ex-missionary shaking his head, he knew the movement was directed at him.

"Only you Ezra. Why won't you let us help you?"

"No one has asked if they could help, you've just assumed that I wouldn't accept it so you decided to try and force me to accept it. I won't have that." Ezra tried to push past him but he felt Josiah's large hand on his chest.

"Ezra. Can we help?" Josiah asked him.

Josiah was surprised by the faint smile that crossed Ezra's handsome features, the simple question and the fact that he had asked seemed to break another piece of the Southerner's wall off.

"I'll think about it Josiah." Ezra walked away but again felt Josiah's arm, the larger man had grabbed him before he could get away and changed his direction and pushed him towards Chris' office.

Ezra entered Chris' office with his mind thinking about what he had just said to Josiah, did he really want their help, he had thought about what they had been doing for him since that morning, they showed their concern, he was told that he wasn't going to be left alone, that they were going to be there for him for as long as it took, they didn't really ask him if they could help, they assumed that he wouldn't accept it and they were right, and knowing this they had tried to force their help on him. Maybe he should finally trust them, if they didn't want to do it they would have left him alone by now, this was what a family was all about. You helped each other and you accepted that help. He had to stop hiding from them, to stop pushing them away. But most of all, he couldn't do this on his own, even with the knowledge that Lenny was still alive, he couldn't pull himself together, he couldn't think straight and if he went after this guy without their help then he would only get Lenny and himself killed. He made a decision, he was going to let them help, if things worked out then maybe he could also finally trust them.

"I don't know about this Chris, it isn't fair on Ezra." JD argued.

"It's the only way JD, he won't blame you, he'll know it's my idea and that you didn't have a choice." The last words were whispered because they were to close to his office, he didn't want Ezra to hear them. "Just do what I told you, once he starts telling us then you can move aside and I'll do the talking." He put his hand on his youngest agent's shoulder. "It's for the best JD, this is going to help Ezra."

JD nodded and followed his boss into his office, his eyes drifted from the back of Ezra's head to the concerned features of Josiah's face. His gaze moved back to Ezra as he passed him, his friend didn't look at him, his eyes were downcast and they stayed that way. He looked up at Chris who had taken up his usual position in his chair behind his desk, the darkly dressed man nodded to him. JD sat on the corner of the desk so he was in front of Ezra, the Southerner lifted his head and looked at him, JD didn't like what he saw in those green eyes. He took his courage in his hands and reminded himself that this was for Ezra's benefit.

"Ezra, what did that man say to you?" JD first saw confusion then anger, he flinched back from him but felt Chris' hand on his back. "Tell me and I want the truth."

"You think that I won't lie to JD. Is that it Mr Larabee?" Ezra looked around the young man and looked into the blue eyes that seemed to be hiding their owner's smugness.

"Something like that Ezra." Chris smiled but there wasn't any humour in it. "I know your lying to me, I know that there's something else and I will do anything I can to force you to allow us to help you."

"And what if I say nothing at all?" Ezra raised an eyebrow and his tongue flicked out over his bottom lip.

"Then we'll be here all night." Chris assured him.

Ezra turned to Josiah, he could see the concern, the man was also worried, he was concerned and worried about him, Ezra took comfort in that.

"Josiah, I've decided to let you help me."

"You have . . . " Josiah was shocked, how could the simple question work when nothing else did. "I mean . . . "

"Lenny's not dead." Ezra quickly moved forward and grabbed JD when he nearly fell off the desk, the young agent's reaction mirrored what was on Chris and Josiah's faces.

"Ezra, you said that . . . " Chris began, he thought that the emotions that Ezra tried to keep shut away had finally done their damage, Ezra had broken down.

"I spoke to him on the phone, the man told me he wasn't dead, I asked for proof and he put Lenny on." Ezra explained to the shocked faces.

"What?" Buck growled when he entered the office, he had heard enough to tell him what was going on. "Why the hell didn't you tell us?"

Vin and Nathan followed Buck into the room, they hadn't heard what Ezra had said so Buck's outburst confused them, they didn't say anything but made their way further into the office so they could listen and learn about what was going on.

"I'm telling you now." Ezra looked down at his hands, he didn't like Buck's tone of voice. "Maybe I was mistaken, maybe I should have kept it to myself."

Buck saw the look of anger that was thrown at him from the other men in the room, he knelt down next to Ezra, the expression that the agent held told him that he had just broken any trust that he had in him. "Ezra, why didn't you tell us? Why wouldn't you let us help you with this?" His tone was calm, the sincerity was in his voice.

Ezra looked from his hands to the man beside him. "You know why Buck, it's the way I am, I can't and won't accept help from anyone, I've always had to deal with things on my own, I still want to deal with this on my own but I can't control what I'm feeling, I can't trust myself to do this, I need help, if I don't accept it I'm only going to get Lenny killed." He turned away from him and wiped at the dampness in his eyes before the tears fell. "I'm sorry, I'm a mess, I don't know what I'm doing or thinking, I can't even stop my hands from shaking."

"It's okay Ezra, you can't be in control during something like this." Chris told him as he got up from his chair, he made his way around his desk and sat down in the chair next to Ezra. "I'm glad you finally trust us enough to let us help."

"It's not that I trust you Chris, it's because I don't have any other choice." Ezra was apologetic, he wanted to trust them but he couldn't, what happened before kept him from doing that. He knew he was part of the family, that he had been dragged into it and he accepted that but the complete trust that should be there was still lacking, it was his own fault, he was the reason for that lack of trust, he was yet to accept them at face value, he still expected to walk into his office to find that he was being transferred because they could no longer tolerate him, that he had finally pushed them too far. "I still expect . . . " He allowed his head to fall.

"You still expect what Ezra?" Josiah asked him.

"I still expect you to give up on me, to not be there for me anymore. To leave me alone like everyone else has, everyone except Lenny. That you will allow me to push you away." Ezra felt an arm wrap itself around him, he didn't look at who it was.

"You can't push us away Ezra." Chris told him as he put his arm around his young agent. He knew that he was in a vulnerable situation emotionally and it was the only reason why he was telling them how he felt, once he was back in control he wouldn't allow them to see this side of him, he would shut his feelings away like he always did. Chris wasn't going to wait for that to happen, he was going to take the opportunity that Ezra had just opened up for them. "We're your family now and we're here to stay, there's nothing you can do to get rid of us."

"I wish I could believe that Chris but too many people have told me the same thing, they didn't hang around. That's why it's too hard for me to get close to people, they leave me, I decided that I wasn't going to allow that to happen again."

"I give you my word Ezra." Chris gave him a brotherly hug. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry Chris, but I'll believe it when it happens or doesn't happen."

"I'll remind you of this moment in twenty years time Ezra, then you can eat your words." Chris smiled at him.

"I'll bring the salt." Buck added. "We should have gotten this on tape, Ezra ain't ever going to admit that he said any of this."

"Said any of what?" Ezra smiled weakly, these men truly were his friends, he had to force himself to accept that.

"What did I tell you." Buck slapped his arm then stood up.

"Ezra." Chris got his attention. "Now that we have your denial in regards to what you just said, how about you tell us what's going on."

"He wants the Merchant case closed in a way that it can't be reopened." Ezra told Chris, he still felt the arm around his shoulders, his friend wasn't going to let go. "Said that he wanted proof that it had been done, he's given me twelve hours to do it, then he's going to call me and arrange a meet to swap the proof for Lenny."

"Why the Merchant case, the guy would have to know that we didn't have anything on him and how did he know that Ezra was with the ATF?" Josiah had taken JD's place on the desk, he wanted to be close to Ezra in the same way he had been all evening, the young man was still going to break down at some point, just because Lenny was alive, didn't mean that everything that he had felt so far wasn't going to become too much for him, he had even addmitted that he couldn't get his usual control back.

"I don't know." Ezra answered.

"How did Lenny sound? Was he okay?" Nathan wanted to know.

Ezra looked up at him then looked away, the worry on Nathan's face was for Lenny and that scared him, he tried not to think that Lenny may have been hurt, he couldn't think of that.

"He sounded . . . alright." Ezra fought to keep the small amount of control that he had.

"Good, if he sounded alright then he was alright, which meant that he wasn't hurt Ezra." Nathan tried to assure him, he only received a small nod from the Southerner, he chastised himself for bringing it up, Ezra was worried enough as it was and he had just made it worse for him.

"Why did he want to make you think that Lenny was dead?" Buck asked him, he also hadn't moved from his position next to the undercover agent.

"He said that if he just threatened him that I would tell Chris, then you would help me even without my consent, he thought that if I experienced Lenny's death that I would do anything to keep him alive, that I wouldn't tell you. But I can't do this on my own, I'll only get him killed, I've already done enough. One person has already died and I don't even know who he was, what if he was an innocent bystander that just looked like Lenny, it would mean that an innocent man died because of me."

"It's not your fault Ezra, it can't be your fault, I won't let you blame yourself." Chris told him.

"But this is being done because of me." Ezra turned his face towards his boss. "That man died and Lenny's suffering because of me."

"No one is taking the blame, it's happened, there's nothing we can do about that but we can get Lenny out of it. He's our priority right now." Chris growled at his agent. "Ezra is there anything else we should know?"

Ezra shook his head. "I won't know anything else until he calls in the morning."

"Now I'll tell you what we're going to do. When he calls in the morning he's going to want you to remove the bug from your car but . . . "

"You bugged my car?" Ezra raised an eyebrow, he couldn't help but smile at their determination.

"Twice." JD smiled at him.

"And my car, just in case you took it." Chris explained. "Also the coat your wearing and the one you were wearing earlier."

"If my mother pushed as much as you guys did, I would be living in Europe right now." Ezra smiled at the men in the room.

"She's not getting any lessons from us." Chris stated seriously then continued with what he was saying. "Now with that bug, I want you to remove it, we can't take the chance that someone may be watching you as well as listening, we'll use the second bug on the car to follow you, once your in and we know the situation then we'll come in after you." His undercover agent stayed quite but he nodded so Chris would know that he was listening. "We'll get Lenny back for you Ezra, you have my word on that."

Chris watched him for a moment, he knew he was fighting to keep from breaking down, his tremors had become worse and he's whole body was visibly shaking.

"Josiah, can you take Ezra into the conference room, there's a lounge in there." He looked at Ezra's confused expression. "I want you to get some rest Ezra, I need to phone the Judge and Agent Thompson, let them know what's going on, then I'll actually close the case and get some sort of proof for you, then we'll take you home. But it might take a couple of hours, so you get as much rest as you can, okay."

Ezra answered him by standing up, he allowed Josiah to lead him out of the room, he couldn't stop thinking about Lenny, Nathan's words had reminded him that he may have already been hurt, what if the man killed him after he spoke to him, he wouldn't have needed Lenny anymore, he could have done anything to him. Ezra was scared, he didn't want to go through Lenny's death again but he didn't want Lenny to go through it, he didn't want him to die, he was beginning to feel selfish, he was thinking of what Lenny's death would do to him.

Josiah kept glancing sideways at Ezra, he knew that the breakdown was getting close, the green eyes were becoming unfocused, he was pale and his body was shaking, he was going to loose the little amount of control that he had. He knew that was why Chris had him take him somewhere private, it would give Ezra a chance to let his feelings go and it would also be easier for him to do it if only one of them was with him.

Ezra sat down on the couch and winced when Josiah sat down next to him. "Josiah . . . " Ezra started but he stopped when he didn't think that the older man would understand.

"You can tell me anything Ezra." Josiah knew that Ezra wasn't confident when it came to talking about his feelings.

"Is it wrong for me to be scared about having to go through it all again?" Ezra wouldn't look at the man next to him.

"Ezra, look at me." When he didn't he used his hand to turn the Southerner's face so he could look into his eyes. "No it isn't, you already know what it feels like, you have every right to be scared."

"Even if it means I'm more worried about what I would feel rather than the fact that Lenny would be dead?"

"Ezra we saw what you went through, it's understandable that you feel that way." Josiah told him. "Your not being selfish Ezra if that's what your thinking."

"Three times already Josiah, up at the cabin when I watched him being gunned down, I died with him, I'd never felt like that before and I didn't want to feel like it again and now two months afterwards I did but this time it was worse, then when Chris told me that he wasn't dead only to find out that he was . . . " The tears finally fell from his eyes. "I can't go through it again, I don't want to go through it again Josiah."

"You won't have to Ezra." He took the younger man in his arms and comforted him while the emotions took control. "We'll get Lenny back safe."

"But if not now . . . then later . . . I can't."

"Ezra when this is over I want you to talk to Chris, he knows what your going through, he understands better than the rest of us, he won't be able to make it any easier for you but maybe he can help you accept it."

Josiah could feel the shudders that wracked the Southerner's body. He looked up when he saw movement coming from the doorway, he saw Buck standing there with a blanket. He shook his head at him, the gesture told him not to come in, he watched as Buck put the blanket on the ground where he was then walk away.

"I want to . . . push him . . . away." Ezra admitted through the tears.

"Lenny?" They would not allow that. He felt Ezra nod against his shoulder. "No Ezra, you can't do that, how do you think Lenny would cope if you did that, you know he won't accept it and we won't let you do it." He began to rub the back of Ezra's head, he hadn't realised had badly this had effected him. He understood the emotions he went through, the shock that he had suffered when he found out that he was alive, and now the fear of loosing him all over again but he couldn't understand the need to end their ten year friendship. Ezra must be terrified.

"But I can't deal . . . with this."

"Not now, but when Lenny's okay you will, you can't end your friendship with him Ezra."

"I have . . . to." Ezra felt his eyes becoming heavy, he couldn't understand why, he'd slept most of the day. The rocking movement that Josiah was doing and the touch on the back of his head wasn't helping, he felt a growing comfort that he'd only felt with Lenny.

"I won't let you Ezra." Josiah warned him.

When a silence fell over the man he was holding he looked down into the tear stained face, Ezra had fallen asleep. He carefully laid him down on the couch and wiped the tears from his face. When he went to the doorway to get the blanket that Buck had left he saw the others, they had been listening to what Ezra was saying, he could see the worry and concern on their faces, there was also understanding. But Chris wasn't with them, he was going to have to talk to him, get him to talk to Ezra, it could also be a way for Chris to deal with what he was feeling. He knew that Chris had also been struggling to cope with his past but now he had something to do, a person that he could go after, he could get revenge for what Ezra and Lenny had been put through but that revenge would do nothing to help him cope with his own hatred.

Josiah turned away from them and went back towards the couch, he could feel the others following him back into the room. He ignored them for now, he placed the blanket over the sleeping agent then carefully lifted his head so he could place a small cushion under his head so he would be more comfortable. He then grabbed one of the chairs that surrounded the conference table and pulled it closer to the couch. He knew that Ezra couldn't be left alone, he needed them and he had admitted it, even if he said that he had no choice, it was a way of making it easier for him to admit it. Josiah didn't fail to notice the other four men gather around the couch, they were thinking the same thing, they couldn't leave their friend alone when he needed them most.

Chris walked into the conference room and smiled at the scene before him, Ezra was sleeping on the couch and he was surrounded by five men, five men who cared. He moved forward and sat on the arm support of the couch and looked down at Ezra's slack profile, he spoke to Josiah without taking his eyes away from the inert form.

"How's he doing Josiah?"

"Not good, your going to have to talk to him Chris, he's so terrified of loosing Lenny again that he wants to end the friendship." Josiah informed him.

"He what?" Chris was shocked.

"He doesn't want to go through this again and I think that he believes if he was no longer friends with him that he won't." Josiah leaned forward and tucked the blanket closer around Ezra's shoulders. "He's says he can't do it again Chris and can you really blame him."

"No I can't." Chris understood better than Josiah thought, but then maybe Josiah did, he had wanted him to talk to Ezra.

Chris had felt the same way after his family had died, he was afraid to allow people to get close to him again, he was afraid of loosing them, even now with his new family he feared for their lives everytime they underwent a new operation but what none of them new was that it was Ezra's life that he feared loosing the most, he was the one that took the risks and also the unnecessary risks required to catch the men that they were after. Most of the time he went undercover alone, it was the only way, they backed him up of course but the thought of loosing him or one of the others terrified him. On the occassions when one of them was injured and were close to death he had considered leaving the team so he no longer had to worry about them but it was the good times that they spent together that kept him in the tightknit group of men. The good times made the bad times bearable.

"I'll talk to him when this is over." Chris told him. "Can you wake him up, we'll need to get him home, we don't want this guy getting suspicious." He looked at the others. "Why don't you guys get going, we'll meet you back at Ezra's."

Josiah waited until they left then looked up at Chris. "Is that the way you felt after Sarah and Adam died?"

"Yes, still do sometimes Josiah, it's still a struggle to stay around people that you care about, especially when the type of work they do is dangerous."

Josiah nodded, he stood up over Ezra but instead of waking him he lifted him up into his arms, the Southerner didn't stir. "We may as well let him keep sleeping."

Chris smiled in agreement, he looked at Ezra as he stood up, he looked peaceful, his mind and body were free of the emotions that he'd been feeling, it was a good idea to keep him in that painless void for as long as they could.

Ezra pulled his heavy eyelids open, he groaned at the darkness that surrounded him, this meant that it was still early, he looked at the bedside table and hoped that the glowing red digits told him that he didn't have to get up, but there was nothing to see, he remembered that he had thrown it against the wall the day before. He was going to have to physically find out what ungodly hour it was. He threw his arm out trying to find the lamp's light switch without actually having to get up. His hand missed it by mere inches, he muttered a soft curse then pushed himself up into a sitting position, he reached over and turned the lamp on.

He hadn't prepared himself for the brightness of the false light and instantly closed his eyes against the glare. Ezra fell back onto the pillows and covered his eyes with his forearm, he thought he heard a whispered voice but decided to ignore it, he didn't wake so he could talk to someone about what was going on. If he got into an emotional discussion about Lenny he would loose the control that he finally began to get back. It was only slight but it was a start and unless something made him take a step backwards then he would continue to take the small steps forward that were required to gain full control of his emotions.

But everything was becoming a blur, his memory was filling up with large pot holes, he had absolutely no knowledge of what had happened after he cried in Josiah's arms. He felt the heat fill his face at the memory, he was embarrassed by the outpour of emotions but Josiah seemed to have understood, he gave him the comfort that he needed at the time and he himself didn't refuse it like he had been trying to do all evening. He must have fallen asleep afterwards, which meant they would have carried him like a child to the car, then to his room once they got him back to the apartment, he groaned at the thought. These men were beginning to get too close, but was that a bad thing, he was beginning to think that it wasn't. They were what he needed. He wouldn't have coped with Lenny's death if they hadn't been there for him and without them he wouldn't be able to get him back.

He removed the arm that was protecting his eyes from the light and turned sideways, he looked into Chris' smiling face. Why the hell was he smiling, under the circumstances his mood should be melancholy like his own. But behind the smile there was an emotional torment that he could make out, Chris was trying to hide it but he could see it. He wasn't going to get into it with him now though, he would do like Josiah said and talk to him after all this was over. He had never realised what this was doing to Chris, he didn't think of the past that would have been brought to the forefront of his mind. He would be reliving his own nightmare, Josiah was right, Chris understood what he was going through, he shouldn't have tried so hard to push him away. He returned the smile.

"It's three thirty Ezra." Chris told him, he had sensed what the Southerner was trying to do.

"Uh huh." Ezra muttered.

"You want the light back off?" Chris continued to smile, he felt relieved when Ezra had smiled back, it meant he was feeling better, he was getting back in control of the haunting emotions that wouldn't give him any relief the day before.

"Uh huh." Ezra was never one for words before ten am unless it was absolutely necessary.

"Go back to sleep Ezra." Chris leaned forward and turned the light off.

Chris had already gone through this procedure four times since they had returned to the townhouse. Ezra had not uttered a sound since Joisah lifted him off the couch in the conference room of the ATF building. They had laid the smaller man down on the back seat of Buck's car and Josiah had stayed with him, the gentle movement of the car seemed to have put him into an even deeper sleep but as soon as he was placed in his own bed his sleep became restless. The undercover agent continued to wake up.

Ezra rolled over onto his side and was asleep again within minutes.

The smell of coffee assualted Ezra's senses, it took a few minutes for him to pull himself from the fading darkness that still surrounded his tortured mind. He pushed the thoughts and emotions that the half sleep ridden mind allowed to assualt him. He gained control and opened his eyes, he blinked and brought Josiah's concerned face into focus. The larger man was leaning over him, he flinched back in confusion.

"Sorry Ezra, didn't mean to scare you like that." Josiah smiled and tried to alleviate the damage that he thought he had caused.

"When one opens their eyes to find a face mere inches from their own, a person should be scared." Ezra smiled faintly then closed his eyes again. "Who made the coffee? I can't tell for some reason."

"I did. Want some?"

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute Josiah." Ezra thought he needed to add more to the conversation, they still had a false facade to continue, he opened his eyes to find Josiah sitting in the chair next to him. "Josiah is Mr Larabee still here? I seem to remember him staying with me last night."

"Yes but he promised to stay out of your way when your awake." Josiah knew what Ezra was doing. "Don't worry Ezra, things will work out, you just need some time to get over Lenny's death." He saw Ezra wince at the words. "Those words were spoken in the heat of the moment, neither of you meant want you said."

"I believe he did Josiah, he's always thought that way!" Ezra made sure there was anger evident in his tone but he smiled at Josiah to assure him that the anger was a lie.

"Come out when your ready Ezra." Josiah squeezed his shoulder but before he could move away he felt Ezra's hand grip his.

"Thank you Josiah." Ezra mouthed at him.

Josiah smiled in return then left the room.

Ezra watched him go, he turned to his right and saw his watch on the side table, he took it and squinted at the small hands that would tell him the time. 'Seven thirty, aw hell!' he thought to himself. He threw the bed clothes aside and found himself undressed, he looked down at the only piece of article that he wore, his boxer shorts, they had also undressed him. He was going to have a word with them in regards to this.

He jumped slightly when his mobile phone began to ring, he knew who it would be, he swallowed the fear that the sound brought back to him. He quickly made his way to the mobile phone that had been placed on dresser next to the bedroom door, he picked it up and turned his back to the door and leant against it, he knew that the others wouldn't come in, the man on the other side of the phone would hear them and know that he wasn't alone. But someone would be trying to listen through the door so he stayed close to it, at least they would hear his side of the converstation

"Standish."

Stephens had felt his confidence return when the men arrived back at Standish's townhouse, there had been only four of them but if they were there then Standish would soon follow, he did. He was suprised by the fact that Sanchez had actually carried the man in and put him to bed, the ATF's best undercover agent was not handling things well at all, he'd thought that after he had informed Standish that Hoskins was still alive that he would be back to his old self and then put on act an in front of the rest of Team Seven, but that wasn't the case, the man seemed to be in a worse state now than he was before he'd gotten the good news.

Afterwards the six men had gathered in the lounge room to discuss ways of getting Standish to retract his resignation. Stephens had listened to their thoughts and feelings, they had discussed the Southerner openly, they still wanted to force their help onto the man that continued to refuse it. Larabee though was still angry with his undercover agent and they tried to convince him to take him back but he had refused by ending the conversation and leaving. Stephens had thought it strange that he was angry with the Southerner and yet stayed with him during the night but the agent had made a few comments to the sleeping man that had convinced him that he wasn't going to take him back until he agreed to accept them and their help. It would only be on his terms and not Standish's, he stated that he was sick of the way he treated the rest of the team. Stephens thought Larabee was a coward for not saying it to the agent's face, he was unaware of the fact that the words were meant for his ears.

Stephens picked up the phone and walked towards the Federal agent who had regained consciousness not long after the six agents had begun their conversation, but he knew he would pass out again shortly, he had been in and out of consciousness since he had hit him. The man had heard everything the men had to say about his friend. He knelt down in front of Hoskins and smiled at the anger his light blue eyes held, he also saw pain, but that would soon end with his death.

"Things are getting serious now aren't they, Standish has resigned, Larabee doesn't want the stubborn ass back, his friends want to help but he won't let them and he's in a complete mess." Stephens laughed at the man before him.

Lenny spat in his face, there wasn't anything else he could do, he was too angry to speak, and he was still handcuffed to the chair that lay on it's side so he wasn't able to physically assault the man either. He grimaced when the man just smiled back at him. He watched as he stood up, he hoped that he would at least pick him up but he didn't make any movement to lift the cold agent off the floor that he lay on, the floor had caused a chill to enter his bones and they now ached with a passion, but not as much as his head, it felt like it had been split open, his blurred vision also told him that he had a concussion, he hoped that he was going to be conscious when Ezra showed up, he needed to warn him, to tell him what Stephens had planned.

Stephens turned away from him and wiped the spit from his face, he was going to enjoy killing him in front of the ATF agent. He dialed in Standish's mobile number, he knew the agent was on his own, Sanchez had just left the room, it only rang for a few seconds before it was answered, the agent stated his surname but that was all.

"Are you on your own?" He still wasn't ready to let him know that his place was bugged.

"Yes. I want to talk to Lenny." The Southerner demanded.

"Sure." Stephens bent over and placed the phone next to Hoskins' left ear, he wouldn't allow it to touch his skin, the sticky mess that covered the side of his face would then cover his phone.

"Ezra I don't want you coming here . . . " Lenny growled into the phone but the force of Stephens fist against his cheek stopped the words from escaping. He cried out when his head bounced off the floor, the pain quickly ended when he went back into the painless black void.

"Lenny!" Ezra raised his voice in anger.

"Keep your voice down!" Stephens ordered him, he waited a few seconds to see if there was a reaction from the men in the lounge room, they had gone quite when the mobile had rung but made no movement to go into the bedroom, Larabee had told them not to bother. There was no reaction so he continued. "Did you do what I wanted?" He knew that the agent had succeeded.

"Yes." Ezra whispered into the phone.

"Now listen carefully, I want you to be at the Old Fairly's Emporium in thirty minutes. It's on South street, there's a back entrance. We'll be waiting for you."

Ezra thought he was about to hang up without mentioning the bugs on his car and in his clothes.

"You wear a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, no jacket. There is also a bug on your car, I had someone watching your place and they say two agents putting it on. You remove it. Someone will follow you and if they see your friends, Hoskins will be dead when you get here." Stephens waited a moment for the information to sink in. "Do you understand?"

"Yes." Ezra repeated.

The line was disconnected, Ezra placed the phone in front of his face and stared at it, he slid to the floor, the pain in Lenny's voice stayed in his thoughts, he was hurt and it was his fault. He pushed the thought from his mind, he had to be in control.

'Think damn it!' he berated himself.

He knew the man had lied about someone watching him, if that were true then he would have known about the second bug on his car, it also meant that there wouldn't be anyone following him. He had gotten around the bugs in his clothing by telling him what to wear. The man was trusting him, he thought that because he was willing to do anything to save Lenny that he would do as he was told, that he wouldn't involve the others but the man had made a mistake by thinking that, because that 'anything' included asking his friends to help him.

Thirty minutes, it was going to take twenty to get to that side of town. He stood up and dressed quickly in a pair of newly warn in jeans and a rarely worn loose t-shirt, he pulled on his boots, he didn't bother with a gun, the others would be there to back him up, Chris had promised that they would get Lenny out alive. He didn't have to leave the room to get his keys because there was a spare set hidden in the garage. He put his mobile in his back pocket and made his way to the window of his first floor apartment. He had to be quite when he left, he couldn't cause any doubt in the mind of the man who was listening, he opened the window and slipped through the opening, he didn't bother closing it behind him. He looked back into the room and saw Vin enter, he caught his eye and gave him his two finger salute then ran towards the garage.

"I'm going to check on him." Vin called from his position beside the bedroom door, he hadn't heard Ezra's voice for a few minutes and he decided that the conversation was now over.

"Why?" Chris asked him, his tone told the man who was listening that he didn't care but his body language agreed with what Vin was about to do, he nodded in agreement.

Vin opened the door and walked in, the room was empty, he looked towards the window and saw Ezra watching him, he saw the two finger salute that tried to show him that the agent was confident in what he was about to do. But Vin saw something different, the man was scared, he wasn't able to hide it from him, there also seemed to be a sadness that filled his visage. Vin nodded in return. He turned around and walked back into the lounge room.

"He's gone!" Vin yelled at the group of men.

"Shit! I knew it!" Chris growled for the listener's benefit. "I knew that damn southern cuss would do this."

"That's not the point now Chris." Josiah spoke. "JD, where is he headed?"

JD smiled then went into the spare room to grab the bag that held the survaillence equipment, he came back into the room and took out the tracker.

"He hasn't gone anywhere." JD stated simply then mouthed South.

"He's still in the garage?" Buck asked stupidly, a large smile creased his face.

"That or he's gotten rid of the bug like he did with the phone!" Chris growled. "Let's get going, we're going to have to split up, put an APB out on him. We have to find him before the idiot gets himself killed."

Once the six men were at the cars that were parked on the street Chris turned to JD who's attention was devoted to the tracker.

"JD?" This time he allowed the concern he felt to sound in his voice.

"He's still headed south."

"Okay, JD, Josiah, your with me, the rest of you follow us." Chris ordered them and they made their way to their individual cars.

Chris drove for ten minutes following JD's instructions when his phone rang, he took it out and handed it over to Josiah, he kept listening to what JD was telling him, he quickly turned right and realised they were headed towards the abandoned warehouses on the South side of town. He risked a glance sideways when he heard Ezra's name, he saw the smile on Josiah's face.

"We're on our way Ezra, and don't worry, we'll get both of you out of there in one piece." Josiah hung up the mobile and put into his coat pocket. "Old Fairly's Emporium on South street, Ezra has to be there in," he looked at his watch, "twenty minutes, he should get there in fifteen. He has to go through the back entrance."

Chris nodded. "He's finally trusting us Josiah, I don't care what he says, he trusts us to help him."

Josiah smiled in return.

Ezra pulled into the laneway that ran parallel to the Old Fairly's Emporium, he drove to the end of the lane and parked the car next to the back door, the position of his car would make it easier for the others to find the entrance. He knew they would only be about five minutes behind him but he also knew that a lot could happen in that time, he was going to have to stall the man until they got there. He just hoped he had enough control to do it, he wasn't sure how he was going to react once he laid his eyes on Lenny, he didn't know what condition his surrogate brother was in.

He got out of the car and quietly closed the door, he stepped up to the entrance and took a deep breath, he had to do it for Lenny, he didn't care about himself, he wasn't worried about his own safety, only Lenny's. He opened the door and stepped into the abandoned wharehouse. He didn't see anything at first but then his eyes focused on the man who appeared from behind a damaged wall. He could see the confident smile that the face held, it would have been a handsome face except for the scar the ran through the upper lip. It caused the lip to curl, thus resulting in a smile that turned into an ugly grimace. Ezra smiled in return and made sure his dimples appeared, he thought he saw jealousy in the man's browns eyes which is exactly what he wanted.

"Where's Lenny?" Ezra managed to stay in control but didn't think it would last. He didn't know if his friend was still alive, he had to see him to believe it.

"Where's my proof?" The same voice that spoke to him on the phone asked in return.

Ezra didn't answer him, he moved towards the man instead.

"The proof first." Stephens removed his gun from his left shoulder holster and aimed it at Ezra's chest.

"Lenny first." Ezra growled at him.

"As you wish." Stephens motioned for Ezra to go through the open doorway in the wall.

Ezra did as he was told, he knew that a few minutes would have passed, he needed just a few more. He stepped through the doorway, his eyes frantically searched the rubbish filled area for his friend but he couldn't see him.

"Where the hell is Lenny!" Ezra turned to face the man, the crooked smile was no longer there.

"Over there." He nodded towards an area that was hidden by a high wall of rubble.

Ezra moved quickly towards it, he heard the man hurry after him, he rounded the pile of broken cement then stopped in his tracks, he looked at the still form of his friend, he was seated in a chair but that chair lay on it's side, so did his friend, his eyes were closed, the blue orbs were hidden from him. He could see the blood that matted his hair and covered most of his face.

"Lenny?" He whispered, he didn't want to raise his voice, he was afraid of not getting an answer.

"He's not dead yet, I want you to watch him die before I kill you." Stephens told the undercover agent. He could see the tremors already begin to wrack the man who stood before him, he didn't receive any sort of acknowledgement to tell him that the man had heard what he said. He watched as the agent moved towards his friend.

Ezra forced himself to step forward, he had to know, he thought he heard the man behind him say something but his mind was on the form that lay before him. As he got closer he could see the steady rise and fall of Lenny's chest. His legs buckled with relief, he allowed himself to fall to his knees beside his friend, the man behind him had been forgotten.

"Lenny?" He placed his hand against Lenny's blood covered cheek. "Lenny, it's Ezra. Lenny."

Ezra felt the cold steel of the gun as it was pressed against his right temple.

"Get up Standish." Stephens ordered him.

Ezra brought himself back to reality and stood up, he turned around but made sure he kept himself between the man with the gun and Lenny. His friend wasn't going to be hurt again, he would die before he allowed that happened.

Chris also pulled into the lane that ran along side of the building, he could see Ezra's black jaguar at the end. He stopped the car and got out. He watched as Buck's car came to a stop on the side street, he waited patiently for the others to join him, the six men then made their way to the entrance that would take them to Ezra and hopefully Hoskins.

Josiah and Vin stood on either of the doorway, Chris opened the door then quickly moved to the side next to Vin, he then poked his head into the dark opening, no bullets were fired in his direction so he stepped through the entrance into the building. The others followed, they waited a few moments for their eyes to adjust to the dimmed light. Chris cocked his head in the direction of the southern drawl that had demanded to know where his friend was. He nodded to the others to follow him.

"The proof. Now!" Stephens put his left hand out.

"There isn't any." Ezra smiled at him, he could see the disbelief fill the man's face, he also saw Chris step around the pile of rubble, his friend had kept his word, Chris and the others would get Lenny out for him.

"You closed the case." Stephens began to loose the confidence he had gained, he changed the direction of his aim, when he fired the gun the bullet would enter Hoskins' skull, he thought this movement would scare the agent into admitting that he was lying.

"No, he did." Ezra nodded to Chris who was still making his way towards them, Josiah and Vin were now on either side of him, their guns were aimed at various positions on the man who stood before them, each aimed area on the man's body would bring him down without killing him.

Stephens didn't look behind him, he thought Standish was bluffing. "Are you ready to watch your friend die?"

"ATF DROP YOUR WEAPON!" Chris yelled out.

The six ATF agents were now strategically placed around the suspect, each hoping that the man would put his gun down without firing it. Lenny was in the direct line of fire but they knew that Ezra would throw himself into that line of fire to protect his friend, they knew that Ezra was willing to die if it meant that Lenny would live.

Stephens' eyes opened wide in surprise, he stared at Standish but kept his gun aimed at the Federal agent.

"You said it yourself, I would do anything to keep Lenny alive. I asked my friends for their help." Ezra knew he was going to fire his gun, his intention was to kill Lenny in front of him, he stepped sideways and lowered his body by bending his knees, he had to put his upper body in front of Lenny, if he tried to stand in front of him the bullet could easily miss him, he couldn't take the chance.

Chris also knew the man was going to fire, he pulled the trigger of his own gun too late, a split second earlier and he would have saved his undercover agent from being shot. He didn't aim to kill, he couldn't shoot a man in the back, the bullet entered the upper thigh of the man's right leg. He went down but not before Ezra.

Ezra felt the bullet enter his stomach, he then felt the excruciating pain that followed it, the pain was centered around his midsection, but the lack of pain in his back told him that he had succeeded in saving Lenny's life. He fell to the ground, his back hit the legs of the chair and he grunted in pain. He wanted to curl himself up into a ball to try and ease the pain that he knew would worsen under Nathan's probing fingers but he had to know that Lenny was okay, he tried to roll over so he could face his friend but hands grabbed him and forced him onto his back. He looked up at Chris and Nathan's concerned faces, Buck soon joined the two men at his side. He saw the movement of their lips, he heard the voices that vocalised their concern but he couldn't make out the words.

"Lenny?" Ezra ignored what they were trying to do for him, he struggled against them, he had to know about Lenny.

"Josiah's taking care of him Ezra." Nathan assured his injured friend, he pulled Ezra's blood stained t-shirt up and probed the wound, he felt Ezra tense up under his fingers examination.

"No, you check him, Nathan, please." The Southerner spoke through gritted teeth, he had concentrated on what Nathan had said and it wasn't what he wanted to hear. "I need to know . . . that he's okay."

"Give me a minute Ezra . . . " Nathan felt the tight grip on his forearm and he looked down into the pleading green eyes of his friend.

"Please . . . Nathan."

Nathan relented, he didn't want to leave Ezra but the Southerner was panicking, his frantic movements weren't helping his situation. "Okay. Chris, find something to use, try and stop the bleeding, I'll be as quick as I can."

Ezra's eyes tried to follow Nathan's movements, he struggled to roll over when he was no longer in his sight but someone's hands forced him to stay on his back. He cried out in pain when he felt the pressure against his stomach, his eyes closed tightly, his teeth clenched and the sweat begin to gather on his face. Ezra drew his left leg up towards his chest, the right one wouldn't work, someone was leaning on it, the same person then grabbed his raised leg and pulled it down. He heard Chris' apology but he continued to ignore those around him, he needed to know that Lenny was going to be okay. He opened his eyes and tried to turn his head, he succeeded so he tried to force his body to follow, he was stopped. He struggled even harder against the men who held him down, his breaths now came in short painfull gasps, if he breathed too deeply the pain was even worse.

"Ambulance is on it's way." JD informed Chris then added his own strength to try and stop Ezra's struggles, he held onto his shoulders, he looked down into Ezra's eyes and saw the pain and fear that filled them, he wanted to look away but forced himself to continue looking at his friend, if Ezra looked up at him he wanted him to know that he was with him, that he wasn't to scared to look at him.

Chris nodded, he continued to apply pressure to the bullet wound in Ezra's stomach, he didn't have to look for something to use. Buck was now only half dressed, he had pulled his colourful t-shirt off and handed it to him. He looked over at Vin who was taking care of the man he had shot, the ex-bounty hunter had used the wounded man's shirt to strap the leg wound, he then handcuffed him.

"Vin, does he have the keys to these handcuffs?" Josiah asked him, he had lifted Lenny's head and it now lay in his lap, he wiped the blood matted hair away from the wound so Nathan could take a closer look at it.

Vin quickly searched the man and came up with a set of keys. He made his way over to Lenny but paused to check on Ezra, the smaller man was still struggling to get to his friend. He moved on and sat down next to Josiah, he removed the handcuffs from the Federal agent's hands and then freed him from the chair he had been handcuffed to. Once he had done this Nathan turned Lenny onto his back, he efficiently checked him for any injuries apart from the obvious one to the side of his head and found none, he then checked his pupils and found them to be uneven, his fingers probed the deep abrasion on his skull, the blood no longer flowed from it but it was going to need stitches. Nathan nodded to Josiah then went back to Ezra.

"Ezra he's fine, Lenny's going to be okay, he'll have a bad concussion and he's got some cuts and bruises but otherwise he's fine." He saw the relief in Ezra's eyes but his struggles didn't stop. "Ezra you need to stay still."

"No, Lenny . . . " Ezra groaned.

"He's fine Ezra, now keep still!" Chris ordered him.

Ezra continued to struggle against them, he needed, wanted to be with his friend, the fear that had plagued him took control, he wasn't going to relax until he was sure that Lenny was going to be fine, he knew that Nathan wouldn't lie to him but he needed to see him, he needed to hear him talk, to hear him tell him that he was fine. He needed to hear it from Lenny.

Josiah knew that the only way to stop Ezra from moving about was to put Lenny in a position where Ezra could see him, they were already close to each other but the awkward angle stopped Ezra from seeing the face of his friend. He nodded to Vin who lifted the agent's legs, Josiah took the shoulders that were resting against his thighs, together they lifted Hoskins and moved him next to Ezra. Buck moved out of the way so Ezra could see his friend.

"See Ezra, he's okay." Josiah told him as he laid the agent's head back into his lap.

"Lenny!" Ezra called out to him, he struggled even more, he knew what a serious head injury could do, he himself had been in a coma for three weeks because of a gunshot wound, he knew the same thing could happen to Lenny.

"Ezra, shut up." Lenny croaked. "I'm trying to get some rest here, and do as your told."

Lenny turned towards his friend's voice, he opened his eyes and expected to find him leaning over him but instead his blurred vision saw something different, he could make out the blood covered t-shirt that someone held against Ezra's stomach, he immeadiately forgot what he was going through, his first concern was Ezra, it had been all along but now that he saw that his young friend was injured, his own pain was pushed aside.

"Ezra!" He tried to sit up but the dizziness he felt and the hands that gripped his shoulders caused him to fall back down.

"Both of you stay put!" Nathan yelled at them.

Lenny winced at the volume of Nathan's voice, he ignored him much like Ezra had been doing and rolled onto his side so he could look at his friend, the pain that was etched on his face caused his anger to rise.

"What the hell happened to him!?" Lenny growled at Chris. "This is your fault, you . . . "

Josiah put his hand over Lenny's mouth, it was the quickest and easiest way to stop the agent's angry words.

"No Lenny, Ezra asked us to help him. We knew that his house had been bugged, what was said was for that man's benefit." Josiah removed his hand when he saw the anger leave Lenny's face.

"He asked you for help?" Lenny looked up at Josiah but had to turn away, the dizziness had returned.

"Yeah he did." Chris smiled across at him. "Ezra are you going to stop fighting us now?"

Ezra nodded, the pain that he was feeling was evident in his face, it was gaining control of his whole being, he looked sideways at Lenny and watched as his friends eyes closed, they didn't open again.

"Lenny?" Ezra whispered.

"He's asleep Ezra, he's going to be fine." Nathan assured him, he lifted his head when he heard the ambulance siren.

"JD." Chris looked at him. "Go and meet them, show them where we are."

JD nodded, he squeezed Ezra's shoulders and smiled at him when he looked up into his eyes, he then left to meet the medics.

"Aw hell." Ezra moaned at thought of spending more time in a hospital.

Chris tried to sit still but his lack of patience prevented him from doing so, he got up again and began to pace the crowded hospital room, his friends had gotten used to his excessive movements, they mirrored their own feelings. He walked passed the base of the bed and looked into the slack features of Lenny Hoskins, the Federal agent still hadn't regained consciousness since arriving at the hospital. Hoskins had been taken to the emergency room when they arrived, Ezra and the man called Stephens had been taken straight up to surgery. Stephens was now being held in a room further down the corridor, a policeman guarded his door. Chris had every intention of questioning him later once he knew that Ezra was going to be okay. It had been three hours since they arrived and as far as he knew the Southerner was still in surgery and all he could think about was the last time they sat in a waiting room, they had nearly lost Ezra then, he hoped it wasn't going to be that bad again.

"What the hell is taking so long." He muttered to himself.

"Stomach wounds can be tricky Chris." Nathan repeated, he had already used this excuse to try and ease the tension that filled the room but the comment just made things worse.

"Is tricky another term for serious Nathan?" Chris glared at him.

"No, things just take longer." Nathan answered him without looking away.

"Chris." Josiah called him then nodded to the door that lead out into the corridor.

Chris knew what he wanted so he ignored him but he couldn't ignore the strong grip that took his arm and dragged him out of the hospital room. The others watched in amusement, Chris wasn't one to allow someone to treat him like that, they expected Josiah to return with a fresh bruise on his face.

Chris pulled his arm from Josiah's grip, and turned to face him, he didn't remove the anger that showed on his face.

"What the hell do you think your doing Josiah?" Chris asked him. "Don't you ever do that to me in front of my men again do you hear me?"

"Your scared aren't you." It wasn't a question, Josiah knew he was right. "This is what you meant when you said it was still difficult to stay around people you care about?"

"I'm not the only though am I?" Chris could also see the fear that filled Josiah's eyes, the same look was the other four men in the room they just left.

"No. But it's worse for you isn't it?" Josiah asked him.

"Yeah, when you feel it once, you don't want to feel it again. It's different from what normally happens, you can accept an accident or illness a lot easier but when the person you care about is taken from you by a violent act . . . it's hard Josiah." Chris explained.

"And that's what Ezra's feeling, that's why he wants to end the friendship with Lenny." Josiah nodded in understanding and crossed his hands over his chest. "He's gone through Lenny's death more than once already, he doesn't want to go through it again."

"I'll talk to him." Chris told him.

"So how do you do it Chris? How do stay around knowing that one of us could die?" Josiah looked into his leaders blue eyes, he watched as a haunted look overcame them.

"The good times Josiah, I wouldn't throw them away because I was afraid of what might happen, if I did that I wouldn't have a family now, I wouldn't have friends. That's what I'll have to get through to Ezra. He needs Lenny, he needs us."

"Mr Larabee." Doctor Franklin called to the darkly dressed man that stood outside of the room the Federal Agent was in, he smiled at him and offered his hand, he liked the strong handshake, it always told him a lot about the person he was about to speak to, he repeated the greeting with the man who stood next to Larabee.

"How's Ezra?" Chris asked as soon as the greetings were over.

"He'll be fine with plenty of rest. The bullet entered at a downward and sideways angle, the bullet entered here," he pointed to the left side of his naval then drew a line that ended near his left hip, "but lodge here in his adominal muscles near his hip, he was very lucky, someone must have been watching over him, the bullet was obviously fired at close range, if the angle had been straight it would have done more serious damage . . . " He left the sentence unfinished.

"When can we see him?" Chris stepped closer to the Doctor that stood two inches shorter than him.

"I understand that you wanted Agent Standish in the same room as Agent Hoskins?" Doctor Franklin asked.

"Yes." Was all Chris would tell him.

Josiah decided to elaborate when the Doctor raised the sandy coloured eyebrows that sat above intelligent hazel eyes. "Ezra and Lenny are close, Ezra will want to be with him, if he isn't then he will find a way to get to him and that means leaving his bed."

"I assure you that Agent Standish is quite incapable of getting out of a bed at this moment and will not be able to for a few more days." Franklin argued.

"And I assure you Doctor that Ezra can and will, the man is as stubborn as a mule, if he wants to be with Lenny then he will be and you telling him that he can't would only make him more determined, believe me, I've wanted to beat more than enough sense into him for a lot less." Chris smiled at him.

"Your serious aren't you?"

"Yes we are." Josiah agreed with the young Doctor.

"Okay, I'll arrange for him to be brought down here, it'll be at least another twenty minutes though." The Doctor explained, he turned to walk away but stopped, he hesitated for a moment and then decided to say what was on his mind. "I don't suppose there's any chance of you men leaving them alone to rest for a while." He saw the smiles that lined the faces of the two rugged men. "I didn't think so."

"Thanks Doc." Chris called after him, he smiled as the young man waved a hand over his shoulder.

"I'm beginning to think that someone warns the Doctor's about us before we get here." Chris commented to Josiah as he pushed the door open.

"They have a warning printed on the front desk of the Emergency room." Josiah admitted.

"They don't?" Chris frowned over his shoulder at him.

"Afraid they do." Josiah was serious. "We've all spent too much time here Chris."

The twenty minutes that they had to wait for Ezra to be brought to the room felt like an enternity, Chris had repeated what Doctor Franklin had told them but they all still needed to see Ezra to be sure. Chris continued to pace the room but this time he walked between the two beds, his shadow danced across the sleeping form in the occupied bed, he looked at Lenny each time he turned, he wanted the agent to wake up, they needed to talk.

"Chris would you please sit down!" Buck growled at him, he thought if Josiah could get away with being angry at him then he could also but the glare that was thrown at him told him was wrong.

"Why don't you all just leave." Lenny told them, he wasn't use to such attention, especially from people who didn't even like him.

"How you feelin' Lenny?" Chris stopped next to the head of the bed and looked down at the angry expression, he ignored it.

"I have a headache and your presence isn't making it any better." He opened his eyes and looked around the room, Ezra's absence reminded him of what had happened. "Ezra!" He sat up and pushed away the hands that tried to force him to lie back down. "Let go of me!"

"Ezra's fine Lenny, they're bringing him down here soon." Chris used more force to push the agent back down.

"He's alright?" The doubt filled his eyes, he looked around the faces that stared back at him.

"Yes. He'll be here in about ten minutes." Nathan told him.

"Here . . . you mean here . . . in the same room . . . here?" Lenny began to shake his head, he ignored the pain that it caused. "Oh no . . . I love him like a brother, you know that, but I refuse to stay in the same room as him. Hell all he does is complain."

"The only person I hear complaining is you." Chris smiled at him.

"Yeah well you would take his side." Lenny growled at him. "You LIKE him!"

"Looks like it's seven against one this time doesn't it?" Chris didn't wait for an answer. "Guys, you want to give us some time alone before Ezra gets here." He watched the others leave the room, he took the nod that Josiah gave him as encouragement.

"Something is wrong with Ezra, if you lied to me . . . " Lenny tried to sit up again.

"No he's fine. We just need to talk that's all."

"About what happened?" Lenny asked him.

"Yes and Ezra." Chris pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down. "We got an ID on the guy who abducted you, ran it through the computers. Nasty guy, your lucky you got out of it with your life."

"I was undercover, trying to get some evidence against a guy named Jordian, I didn't get anything on him but I did get something on a guy that worked for him. Merchant, that was the case that Ezra was working on." He saw Chris nod in agreement. "I was at this restaurant in town having dinner with Jordian and the next thing I recall I was waking up, handcuffed to a chair in that warehouse, must have put something in my food."

"You have any idea why they grabbed you?" Chris wanted to know.

"To get at Ezra."

"But how did they know about the connection between you two, how did they even know about Ezra?" Chris was confused.

"Tanner." Lenny stated simply.

"Vin?"

"One of Merchant's men recognised him, knew that he was ATF so they started running some checks, found out that Ezra was also ATF so they dug deeper, found out about the rest of you guys, they planned on using one of you but then they found out about me. Merchant reported to Jordian, who instantly recognised me from my photo, it went from there." Lenny rolled onto his side so he could look at Chris. "They knew Ezra was a loner and that it would take more of a threat to get what they wanted, so they decided to fake my death, gave them the results that they expected, but then Ezra did something they didn't expect, he asked for your help." Lenny lifted his eyes looked into Chris'. "I heard everything, I know what he went through and I want to thank you for being there for him Chris."

"That parts not over yet Lenny but we'll get into that in a minute." Chris didn't flinch under Lenny's scrutinising stare. "Why would they go to all that trouble? Why not just kill Ezra and Vin while they were on the case?"

"Because you would have known who killed them." Lenny grimaced at him, Larabee already knew the answer he just wanted confirmation of what he was already thinking. "Then you would have not let up until you had Merchant in custody and from there you would have gotten Jordian. No they had to do it in a way that wouldn't connect them to the case."

"Do you have any idea who the man was in the burnt out car and how did they know about your prothesis?"

"Merchant is the man in the car, Jordian didn't like the idea that he had let two ATF agents get so close even if they couldn't get any evidence on him. Guess they knew about my pin from my medical records."

"It wasn't in your FBI file. Thompson told us that he didn't know you had a second one." Chris told him.

"Thompson?" Lenny smiled. "He helped you with this?"

"Yeah."

"One down and the rest of the FBI in Atlanta to go." Lenny smiled.

"He also told us about your mission to clear Ezra." Chris saw his embarrassement and quickly went back to the original subject. "So how did you know all this?"

"Stephens didn't worry about talking in front of me, he planned on killing me, just wanted to wait so he could do it in front of Ezra, he took pleasure in his emotional pain."

"I'm going to cause some physical pain on that arsehole shortly." Chris growled.

"Now you can talk about Ezra." Lenny yawned but he wasn't going to allow his exhaustion to stop him now.

"You said you heard what he went through, Josiah talked to him back at the office, after he told us what was going on. He's afraid of loosing you Lenny, actually he's terrified of going through it all again, he thinks that if he was no longer your friend that he wouldn't have to go through it again. We haven't had a chance to convince him otherwise yet."

Chris looked down at his hands and wanted for Lenny's response, he was surprised by what the agent had to say.

"I know, I felt the same after he nearly died." Lenny looked at Chris and smiled. "What? You think that I don't have fears either?"

"No, it's just that . . . " Chris actually stammered.

Lenny moved onto his back. "When we came back from the cabin, those first two days when I wouldn't let you see Ezra, it was his idea, he wanted to be able to talk freely without worrying about interruptions, without having to deal with you guys. He told me about how he felt when he thought I'd been killed, told me that he didn't want to go through it again, I told him that I felt the same way after he'd been shot. We got it out of our systems and came to an understanding, he may say it Chris but he won't end the friendship."

"Josiah sounded pretty sure." Chris warned him.

"No, he knows I mean too much too him, besides," Lenny grinned mischeviously, "we promised we wouldn't do that to each other, all we have to do is remind him of that promise."

"It won't be that easy Lenny, a promise isn't going to stop him from hurting." Chris told him.

"I know Chris, I know." He rolled his head to the side.

"I'll talk to him when he's better." Chris patted his shoulder then turned at the sound of the door opening.

"Ezra's here." Josiah told him then stepped aside to allow the nurses to roll the gurney in.

Chris knew that Lenny wasn't going to stay down so he grabbed the struggling form and helped him to sit up, by the time he had placed the pillows behind his back they were already lifting Ezra onto the bed. Chris turned around then stepped to the side so Lenny could see his friend.

Lenny's eyes travelled over Ezra's still form, he seemed to be sleeping peacfully, his pale features were slack, the only tube that ran to his body was an IV tude, two small gauges had been placed on his stomach, Lenny frowned in confusion.

"They had to make an incision to get to the bullet." Chris saw the confusion on Lenny's face, he knew it was because of the gauges.

"But he's going to be okay?" Lenny asked again but kept his eyes on his friend, he had to stretch his neck to look around the nurse that kept blocking his view, he didn't get angry, he knew she was only doing her job and once Ezra was comfortable she would leave.

"Yes he's going to be fine." Doctor Franklin told him.

Lenny didn't look at the owner of the voice.

"Mr Larabee, I insist that if you are going to stay that you make sure these men get plenty of rest, I don't want them sitting up and talking into the small hours of the morning." Franklin moved forward and pulled the pillows out from behind Lenny, he then forced him to lie down. "I won't hesitate in sedating either of them if I have to." This statement was aimed at the paitient who glared back at him.

"We're in hell." Chris muttered, he was unaware of Josiah standing behind him.

"No, hell will be when Ezra wakes up." Josiah squeezed his shoulder.

Ezra tried to force his eyes to open but he couldn't, they were too heavy and he didn't have the strength to fight them, he felt the gentle touch of someone's hand wiping his face, he wanted to acknowledge the touch but again the lack of strength stopped him from doing so, he even tried his voice but nothing worked. He listened as the voices broke through his mud filled mind, he recognised Lenny's voice and his tone told him that his friend was fine, he was arguing with Nathan, something about eating hospital food.

He listened as a voice whispered in his ear, it was Chris, it must have been his hand that he felt. Ezra inwardly smiled when Chris requested that he wake up, that they needed his help, that only he could shut Lenny up. Ezra refused, he was going to get as much peace as he could before he faced his friends complaints. Lenny was never able to deal with pain. He felt the comforting feeling that the touch against his skin and the sound of his friends arguing brought to him. He allowed himself to float away in that comfort, he knew it would still be there when he woke up.

Chris looked around the room, he could make out the sleeping men in the darkness, he had left a light on earlier but Doctor Franklin had showed up and turned it off, the man wasn't going to force them to leave but he sure as hell made sure that his patients were well looked after. They were spread out on the floor and in the spare chairs that the nurses brought in, no one was going to leave until Ezra woke up. He tried to rub the tiredness out of his eyes, when it didn't work he stretched his arms above his head. That didn't work either, he didn't want to sleep, he was going to have to wake someone up so they could sit with Ezra, he didn't want the Southerner to wake up to a darkened room and not know where he was. He grimace at Buck's form, the man snored loud enough to wake the dead, and that was how both Lenny and Ezra slept.

"Who the hell is making all that racket?" Lenny grumbled.

"Now that would be you Lenny." Chris informed the waking agent, he turned away from his vigil of Ezra and turned on the bedside lamp, it's weak light fell across Lenny's face, illuminating the paleness of his skin.

Lenny opened his eyes at the sound of the familiar voice, he grimaced at Chris, this wasn't going to be a pleasant stay, he'd already argued with Nathan earlier. "Me? I just woke up."

"Yeah, and it was peaceful before you did." Chris smiled at him knowing that his cheerful mood would aggrevate him. "I've never known someone to complain so much."

Lenny's expression caused a small laugh to escape from Chris's lips. "I haven't heard a word out of Ezra."

"That's because he's too lazy to wake up!" Lenny retorted.

"Wake up? How am I supposed to sleep with you complaining all day?" Ezra added to the conversation.

"It's about time Ezra." Chris turned to him, he turned on a second light and listened as the others began to stir.

"I woke up earlier when someone refused to eat their dinner but I couldn't spoil your fun." Ezra grimaced in pain when he tried make himself more comfortable.

"Try not to move Ezra." Chris placed a hand against Ezra's chest to stop him from moving.

"Chris . . . may I ask you why I'm sharing a room with him?" He still found it difficult to open his eyes, he was beginning to think that they had been taped shut.

"I heard that!" Lenny growled at him.

"We didn't want you trying to find your way to him when you should be resting in a bed. We could seperate you now that you each know the other is going to be okay." Chris told him.

"Please." Ezra muttered before he fell back to sleep.

"He didn't mean that." Lenny assured Chris who was smiling in satisfaction at him.

"Uh huh." Chris nodded at him.

"Ezra?" Chris whispered in the Southerner's ear, he watched him grimace. He quickly moved his head out of the way when Ezra's left hand swiped at him, he grabbed it and pulled it back down before he could pull the IV tube out. "Come on Ezra, wake up."

"Why?" Ezra demanded.

"The Doctor's here, he wants to talk to you." Chris told him.

"Tell him to come back later." Ezra used his right hand to try and push Chris away from him, someone else grabbed it. He then felt the sharp pain the bright light caused to his skull when someone forced his eyelid open, he threw his head to the side only to have another hand stop his movement. "Is this some sort of conspiracy against me?"

"Are you in pain Mr Standish?" Franklin asked him.

"Don't I sound like I'm in pain?" Ezra forced his eyes open and looked at the blurred figure leaning over him. "I seemed to remember being shot in the stomach at some point."

"No, you sound like the stubborn mule your friends describe to me but I've turned their description into a more polite form that I would use." Franklin commented as he lifted Ezra's wrist to check his pulse.

"Are you feeling nauseas at all?" Franklin continued his questions while he probed the patient's stomach.

"If I was I'd throw up on you!" Ezra replied, he already disliked this Doctor but then he disliked all Doctors, he pulled his arm free of Chris' grip and slapped the Doctor's hands away from his stomach.

"Sorry wouldn't do you any good." The Doctor pulled at his scrubs. "Plastic."

Ezra glared at Chris who was agreeing with everything the Doctor was saying.

"And if you continue to be unpleasant I will make sure that your three week stay will also be unpleasant."

"Three weeks." Ezra's mouth dropped open.

"Well, no, but it could be." Franklin smiled at him then left the room.

"I don't like him." Ezra told Chris.

"What's new Ezra." Chris stared at him for a moment. "Ezra you can drop the act now, everyone's gone home to get cleaned up, Lenny's asleep, it's just you and me now."

Ezra frowned at him in genuine confusion.

"Josiah told me about what you said in regards to your friendship with Lenny. Do you still feel that way?"

"I promised him that I . . . " Ezra started.

"I don't care about what you promised Ezra, I care about how your feeling." Chris growled at him.

"You know how I feel don't you?" Ezra asked him. "You've been going through it all again, I didn't see it before, I didn't know what this was doing to you."

"You not going to get out of it by turning this in my direction Ezra." Chris smiled at him.

"I know he's going to die one day Chris and it terrifies me, I know how it feels and I don't want to go through it again." Ezra admitted to him.

"So your going to throw away the best thing you have because your afraid of a bad moment in your life?" Chris raised his eyebrows at him, he could see the emotional pain that filled Ezra's eyes.

"Three bad moments Chris. I don't want it to happen again."

"It's going to happen Ezra, whether your there or not, your going to feel the same pain, it won't be any less just because you no longer have any attachments with him." Chris explained to him. "I feel the same way about you guys all the time but if I allowed that fear to rule my life, I wouldn't have friends or the family that you guys made me a part of. You have to think about the good times Ezra, and if you end your friendship with Lenny then you would also have to do the same with us because the day will come when our deaths will effect you in the same way."

"When I thought Lenny died up at the cabin it was the first time I ever felt that pain, it nearly killed me Chris."

"I know Ezra. When my family died, I drowned myself in a bottle, I finally allowed Buck to pull me out, but it was a long time before I would let anyone get close again. I didn't think that I could deal with loosing someone else but I know that if it was to happen that I'd have friends to help me get through it. Just like you did after you got that phone call."

Ezra smiled. "I didn't have a choice."

"Not at the start Ezra, but you soon accepted it, I know you said you didn't have a choice but I also know it's because you wanted to." Chris leaned forward. "I know it's not easy Ezra, but when it does happen your friends will be there for you. It's what happens when you become part of a family."

"I'm still getting use to that idea." Ezra forced a smile onto his face.

"I don't want you keeping your friendship because of a promise Ezra, I want you to do it because you want to."

Ezra turned his head and looked at the sleeping back of his friend, he didn't realise that Lenny was awake and listening to the conversation.

"I couldn't throw that away." Ezra looked back at Chris. "He means to much to me, I've never had this sort of relationship with anyone else, I wouldn't have coped without him, he saved my life too many times and I don't mean physically."

"Good, that's what I wanted to hear." Chris squeezed his hand.

"What about you? Are you okay?" Ezra asked him seriously.

"It brought up some nasty memories but I'm dealing with them." Chris nodded at him. "Your helping in your usual way."

"What did I do?" Ezra was almost speechless.

"You accepted our help Ezra, it's as simple as that." Chris replied.

Lenny rolled over and looked at the two men. "That's typical isn't it Ezra, you argue with me and talk to him."

Ezra flinched at the sound of Lenny's voice. "I can't talk to you when your in pain, you argue too much."

"And you don't" Lenny retorted then smiled at his friend.

"You weren't asleep at all were you?" Ezra glared at him then turned his stare to Chris.

"Nope, I'm going home today." Lenny grinned from ear to ear.

"Home? How long have we been here for?" Ezra asked Chris.

"Two days Ezra." Chris turned to smile at Lenny.

Ezra saw the look that passed between them, he wasn't going to let them get away with it.

"So who's home is he going to?" Ezra saw the smiles on their face's drop. "I mean you can't let him go back to Atlanta while I'm in this state and he can't stay at a hotel on his own."

"A hotel is fine Ezra." Lenny told him. "I'm use to being on my own."

"Not any more Lenny, my friends are your friends. Chris will let you stay with him." It was Ezra's turn to smile. "Won't you Chris?"

"Well Ezra, I . . . "

"You'd do that for me wouldn't you Chris?"

"Sure Ezra, I'd do that for you." Chris cursed him under his breath.

"Promise me you won't kill each other." Ezra ordered them. He smiled at the silence that filled the room as the two future house mates glared at each other.

The End

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ATF/AU Fan Fiction