You Might Be a Jedi Redneck If…

Jedi Jawa

  1. You have ever been investigated for "Grand Theft, X-Wing"
  2. You have ever dated a Jawa
  3. You work for a Jawa
  4. You changed your name to "Bubba Fett"
  5. You have ever used a plunger to get the dents out of your Y-Wing
  6. You drag race your Y-Wing
  7. You go in and out of hyperspace for kicks
  8. Your uncle uses his Jedi mind tricks to help him sell used cars
  9. Protocol droids can't understand your speach
  10. You have at least one X-Wing up on blocks in your yard.
  11. Your Jedi robe is camoflage
  12. You think that stormtroopers are just Klansmen with really good sheets
  13. You own a rancor
  14. Your Rancor tends to eat anyone (including your jedi trainers) that visits your house.
  15. You have a sand person in your family tree
  16. The Force is strong in your family: Your step-father/uncle/cousin has it, your mother/aunt/neice has it and your sister/ex-wife/sister-in-law has it
  17. Your relatives use their moisture condensers to make moonshine
  18. You play "chicken" with Star Destroyers
  19. You have a bionic toe because the real one was shot off in a blaster accident
  20. You put leftovers in carbon freeze
  21. On Friday nights, you pick up dates at Jabba's palace
  22. Your uncle uses his Jedi mind tricks to help him as a used spacecraft salesman
  23. You use proton torpedoes from your Y-Wing to get the stumps out of your yard
  24. You have a tatoo of a rancor
  25. You ENJOY the smell of a Taun-Taun
  26. If womp rats are not just for target practice
  27. If you've made out with a Wampa
  28. If you try to get a tan on Hoth
  29. If you modeled for the Jabba the Hutt brand underwear commercials
  30. When you suddenly realize, while going through hyperspace, that you shouldn't have eaten those beens last night.
  31. If you ever asked a Hutt for a date.
  32. If you have a lightsabre rack on the back window of your X-wing.
  33. If you ever picked your nose with a lightsabre
  34. You use your jedi leviting skill to pick up your room
  35. If you wonder why Luke and Leia gave up on marriage.
  36. blasters are used to kill deformed family members.....
  37. Ewok are not just close friend......
  38. The Force seem to arch with your family tree.....
  39. If you thought Darth Vader was just the leader of the KKK.......
  40. your house is mobile and you have.... 24 ships that arent.......
  41. Your considers ewoks cleanecompared to your family.......
  42. You try going swimming on Tatoonie
  43. if you have ever used a lightsaber as a hunting knife
  44. If you own a low rider B-Wing
  45. you can describe the taste of Ewok
  46. a group of Jawas regurely scavenge through your yard
  47. you have an inbred child that is causing " a great desturbance in the force"
  48. your butt crack shows through your Jedi's garb
  49. you dream of owning a dewback ranch one day
  50. you mourned the death of Greedo
  51. wookies find your smell intolerable
  52. you shave only so that you can be destinguished from a wookie
  53. you know all the stormtroopers by name and can tell them all apart (not to mention have picked one up for a date).
  54. you sent your niece/cousin one of those Aunt Beru action figures for her birthday.
  55. you refer to Vader as "ol' buckethead"
  56. you think that Emperor Palpatine makes the lightning
  57. You go hunting with a double barrel lightsaber
  58. you use your lightsabre to shave your backhair.
  59. You use non-"name brand" batteries in your lightsabre instead of Duracell.
  60. the Energizer Bunny can wipe the floor with your face in a lightsabre fight.
  61. you have an cassette player in your X-wing
  62. You had windsheild-wipers in your A-wing
  63. You have an 8-Track in your landspeeder.
  64. You've ever brushed a Rancors teeth.
  65. You use your lightsaber to unclog the toilet.
  66. You go hunting with your blaster set on stun.
  67. You have ever asked out a droid
  68. If you have a cb radio on your landspeeder,
  69. If you chew gimer sticks to get your daily requirement of fiber,
  70. If you wear camoflage pants on Tatooine or Hoth,
  71. If you get rid of warts and zits with a lightsabre, (not a bad idea actually.....),
  72. If you applied for a job in the Imperial Navy wearing a Darth Vader mask,
  73. If you ever heard "I told you it was loaded" while looking at a hole in the Cantina,
  74. If you ever tried to jumpstart your X-Wing with your watch battery,
  75. If your TIE Fighter has more square footage than your house,
  76. If your lightsaber rack is bigger than your refrigerator,
  77. If you cut your hair with your lightsaber,
  78. If you trim your nose hairs with your lightsaber,
  79. If you don't have any room on your Star Destroyer for just ONE more bumper sticker,
  80. If you've ever been to a Jawa family reunion and then called up the rest of your family --and said they were at the wrong place!
  81. At least one section of your X-Wing is Bondo colored
  82. A peaceful meditation is one without gas
  83. You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not with the Force
  84. Your master ever says "hey, pull my finger..."
  85. You lost a hand in a sabre fight because you had to spit.
  86. The moonshine still that you made on Endor is so well hidden that even the Ewoks can't find it.
  87. You have ever used the Force in conjunction with bowling or fishing.
  88. you think that the Rebel logo should be the "Stars and Bars"
  89. More than half of the droids you own don't work.
  90. The numbers of blasters you own exceeds your IQ
  91. You use carbonite to freeze the 78 wompas you shot while on vacation on Hoth
  92. You don't like wearing the jedi robe because it restricts access to the dip in your pocket
  93. Sandpeople back down from your mama
  94. You have ever used the Jedi Mind trick to get out of a ticket or DUI
  95. You built an outhouse over the Sarlacc
  96. You have ever argued with Jawas over salvage rights to a broken droid
  97. You don't think of Ewoks as primitive
  98. You consider your light sabre the ultimate bug zapper
  99. The Rancor refuses to eat you
  100. You discover that your greatest enemy is in fact your father, who is also your brother
  101. Your callsign starts with "Bondo"
  102. If you've ever considered retiring on Dagobah
  103. If you don't think that you'll ever retire because your landspeeder uses repulsors.
  104. You put your beer in carbon freeze
  105. Your master ever said, "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"
  106. You've ever strangled someone with the force because they laughed at your accent
  107. You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while trying to light a cigarette with your lightsaber
  108. When your Jedi master tells a story he starts with "When I was a girl...."
  109. Your teacher is a droid
  110. You do Jedi Mind Tricks on Geraldo
  111. You have a pet Ewok
  112. You don't have a teddy bear, you have a Teddy Ewok
  113. You use your lightsabre as a flashlight
  114. You have and use "Cruise Control" on your X-Wing
  115. You play Sabacc with your poker buddies
  116. You work as a lumberjack and use your lightsabre to chop down trees on Endor
  117. You use the handle of your lightsabre as a throwing weapon
  118. You golf using lightsabres
  119. You use a blaster while plunking
  120. You think Stormtroopers are just giant Pillsbury Doughboys

Do you have any Star Wars comedy? If so, e-mail with it and I will probably post it.

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