Night

When I'm alone at night
And lay down in my bed
I'm terrified of these thought
That keep running through my head

The blade

The wrist

The blood stained drain

How can I sleep
I need to end this pain
So hard I'm trying
I'm fighting myself

I want to just cut my heart out
And hide it way up on a shelf
Where no one will ever see it
Where it will never be hurt
Where I can forget that I need it
Just leave it there gathering dirt

Then I won't have to feel this pain
Then I won't have to fake this smile
Then I won't want to cut this vein
Then I won't have to be in denial


Unwanted

Unwanted by all
I sit and stare
My pain within
I cannot share
The hurt I feel
Deep in my soul
You broke my heart
You've left a hole
Filled up with tears
Drowning deep
I'm building walls
So I won't weep
My tongue is sharp
My eyes are blank
And for that I guess
I have you to thank!


Darkened Mind

So tired of it all
The endless tears
My tangled mind
These constant fears
Did you see that?
The slight glimmer disguised
Covered by pain
Deep in my eyes
Jump from the truck
Is what I thought
The handle touched
And Hell, why not?
Then memories flash
Through darkened mind
Curbing thought
Of suicide


Scars

I didn't do it to hurt you
Or to make you mad at me
I didn't do it to show you
The emotional side of me
I did it only to remind me
Of things that shouldn't be
Of pain I've had
Of love I've lost
And what someday
Will be

The scars I hide
For none to see
Are worse than these my dear
And in my heart
The scars I hide
Are the only thing I fear


Thoughts of Suicide

Feeling strange and not quite right.
Cutting hovers in my sight.
Feel the blades cut, digging in.
Yet I've had no pain within.
Darker times I've hade in the past.
I know my happiness is going to last.
So why this need I feel inside?
Why the thoughts of suicide?



Pills

Little Pills
Make me feel
So gooood
Dr. says I gotta have em'
Mama says the make me nice
Man on the street
Says they'll ruin my life

All grown up now
Still addicted
To those fucking little pills
Dr's gone now, lost his license
Mama's dead it was her time
That old man's been gone for ages
Took my wife and left this town



Floating


My eyes grow weary
My life is comming to an end
The pills are working
The pain finally will subside.


How long will this feeling last?
Feeling like I'm floating
Just above reality
Things left unspoken
Float by with the wind

Your sweet caress
Your beautiful smile
I will miss them all
But I know this is the best waay.
It is getting so hard to typpe noooww
Forgetting what I have written, forgettins waht i said.....



Sweet Sting


I had forgotten how sweet
The sting of knife can be
How it can take away
The pain in my heart
Now as it slowly
Slices the skin
I remember.
My arms now
Resemble my pain
Red and torn
I have no more
tears for him
I have shed them all
I have not cut deep
Enough to kill
Only to feel
I have taken pills
To releave my suffering
To make me sleep
Forever....



Hell


Release Me
Take away my pain
Let my suffering end
Release me from this hell
He was my life
He cares no more
My life has ended
Why couldn't he just see?
How much I cared
He never understood,
Never belived
That I loved him...



Killing Me


Depression
Tearing at my soul
Filling my heart with pain
And hate.
Pushing out the love
Trying
To kill me


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