BLUNT REALITY

I sit here and I think: God do I want to blow somebody away. Not necessarily blow their brains out with a gun, but to kill them in any way; to hack away at someone with a machete or beat the shit out of them with a tire iron, a rock, my fist. Oh, to see them terrified and hear them scream as I wail away, as I pull the trigger and continue to blast at their splattered head as if they were still alive and wanting to get away.

By God that will fucking happen tonight.

A cigarette. Fucking-A how I need a cigarette. Light one up. There ya go, now inhale that sonofabitch and exhale. Yes, that feels mighty good. You know, the more relaxed this smoke makes me feel, the easier it seems that mutilating some poor schmuck is going to be. Fucking assholes. I'll kill them all. I don't care if the fucking cops come and kill me. As long as I can hurt someone, really hurt someone and make them scream in agony, that's all I give a shit about - how about you?

The TV is showing one of those fucking Indian heads and the night is about as late as it's going to get. Man, do I want to kill someone tonight. I hope I get away with it but if I don't then I don't care because I've had enough of this shit man. This world has done me in. OK, so I'm not Mr. Strong-Spined Normal Family Man. I don't give a shit and fuck you for thinking that I should try to be. I'd kill you if you were anywhere near me right now.

OK so I'm tired of staring at the goddamned fucking TV. Time to get off my lazy good for nothing lard ass and walk the streets. There goes another siren. It must not have been on my street because I can't see the blue and red lights - not that it matters around here.

Shit do I need a drink. Fuck man, where did I put that fifth of Pancho Villa? I wish I had enough money to afford that shit with the worm in it. But like it really matters. Hello toilet and Mr. Sink and...oh there you are Mr. Fifth. I put you right where I left you; next to the sink so I wouldn't get vomit on you when I threw up twenty minutes ago. Come here Pancho buddy.

OH YES!!! OH GOD YES!!!! That was fucking great man! That drink right there was the one that put me over the edge! I was thinking for a millisecond there that maybe I shouldn't go out and kill someone, to hear them scream and gurgle in their own blood, but now I am convinced that it's what I gotta do. Oh shit thank you Lord for letting me see the light! Some poor fucking schmuck sonofabitch is gonna bite the big one tonight!

Oh goodness I almost left without taking another swig. Another swig!? Take the whole damned bottle. No one'll give a shit if I fucking walk around with it in this neighborhood - as a matter of fact, it might save me from getting killed myself.

Ha-ha-ha oh shit, how ironic.

Put that ol' Pancho buddy under my coat and walk out the door. And, oh yes you fucking moron, don't forget your weapons. Here's the Rueger, or Luger, or Booger, or whatever the hell it's called. All I know about this goddamned weapon is that it's fully loaded and if you put it to someone's sorry-ass temple and pull the trigger then the glorious sight of their splattered brains will spew from the opposite side of their head. Oh God I can't wait. This is gonna be great. But wait! There's more! In my fucking grimy kitchen next to the uneaten Hungry Hombre half-cooked dinner sitting next to the mildew sink is a knife. It's the only fucking goddamned knife I fucking shitting-ass have but I use it for everything: buttering my toast, spreading peanut-butter on my bread, and tonight it's gonna be used to saw some poor fucking asshole's head off.

God, I can't wait.

This is gonna be great.

So there's the door. Do I go now? Why not? What the fuck am I waiting for? Some motherfucker's gotta bite it tonight. Am I getting cold feet? Oh boy I know what I need - another swig of Panch...oh my God what's that I see? On the table! It's, oh God can it be? Yes! It's mother-loving cocaine oh yes thanks I forgot that I still have two lines left.

Well, I'm not gonna be shy. Here goes. And how convenient, a dollar bill all rolled up and screaming my name.

SNORT!

Oh shit, oh shit.

SNORT!

WWHHHOOOOOEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Oh yes, come here Pancho buddy. Time for another swig. Here it goes...OH YES! And what's that I see? A roach! Traditionally I eat these motherfucking things, but…well what have we here? A lighter? Yessiree, time to smoke this Godforsaken piece of fucking hemp. Toke slowly now, toke carefully, want to get the full fucking goddamned effect. Oh man, now I remember! This is that sticky green bud Affy shit that you normally smoke in a bongeroonee but I decided to roll up! Oh my God, my head is one fucked up piece of real estate right now. Goodness sakes isn't life great?

Yes, someone's going to really be murdered in A-1 fashion tonight.

I can't wait.

This is gonna be great.

Gonna slit their fucking head right off, gonna shoot them in them eye and eat the blood, chew on the tissue as the jugular spews, gonna swallow their life.

Can't wait.

Where did I put my cigarette? Did I smoke that cocksucking fucking thing? I can't find it - I'll light another. Before I step out that cunt-licking door, I have got to have a cigarette in my hand. Do I have any more? Yes, under the end table by my recliner. Here we go, now light the fucking thing. Yes, now inhale. Hold the smoke as you roll the cigarette in your hand, hold it, tap its ashes.

Now exhale.

Oh God thank you for fucking inventing the goddamned cigarette. It feels good. Now, although I am certainly going to kill someone tonight, I will also be relaxed because that's what these fucking crotch-chewing sticks of rolled tobacco do to me; make me feel relaxed. Thank you God. I'll take the pack with me.

Now, to the door. There it is, now grab the handle. Turn it. Pull it. Hello outside world.

Fucking shit it's like a butcher shop! It's three fucking A.M. so there's not a lot of fucking people but the partying I've done tonight tells me that this is just what I need - not too many people but in this neighborhood the wheelin' and dealin' never ends! Okay, shut the door because I don't want someone stealing any shit from my place although I sure in the hell would from someone else's and if they were home I would disembowel them, chew on their guts then spit them in their faces as they quivered a slow death. How many people do I see out here now? Three by the corner, huddled together making a dope deal or talking about whores and fuckin'. There's two doing something in the dark off to the right across the fucking street, just barely visible but the cracked street light is just giving off enough light to see 'em. There's some other folks somewhere but suddenly I have to puke.

No fucking no! Hold it in. Hold all that tequila, coke, pot and nicotine in. Don't let your head sway. But it is! But then fucking sniff man! Sniff sniff sniff! And what's that I taste going down my throat? Sniff sniff snort gurgle. There's the numbness and now that fucking coke has finally kicked in.

Geez I really want to cut someone's head off. That's what I want to do really bad. Stab and slice and...

Suddenly I have a feeling

sniff

that I should go to those people standing on the corner, not to talk to them but to fucking shoot and stab and slice and which one do I do first?

Walk. Am I staggering? Shit do I really want to stab my knife into someone's face and carve and carve and fucking pull and carve and slice shit yes what a feeling. Burp oh shit yes I feel a slight acidy taste of tequila coming back up my throat and you know what? It's even easier to swallow it back down the second time.

Walk. I am walking and suddenly I realize I am drooling as I am staring at the people at the corner who are just standing there and not really pretending to notice me yet but then, there they go, now they casually glance up. All three of them. Then they look down. I imagine what it would be like to kill them and how I would do it. The black woman in the fucking frilly dress, Halloween-type fucking thing with crotch huggin' nylons underneath. I'd like to cram both my hands inside her cunt as far as they would go and rip her hips apart. Fucking nigger slimy cunt slimy good for nothing piece of gash in a meat purpose for life! That's what you are you fucking bitch. Next to her is a man with a gray coat that looks at me again and smiles.

FUCKER JUST SMILE AT ME AGAIN AND I WILL KILL YOU!!

He does. He smiles at me and I burp again, in his face this time. He frowns and I realize he's a fucker out to kill someone tonight as well! Just like me! I can see it in his eyes!

SNIFF! Both nostrils real hard now SNIFF!

"Don...don't," I say. He looks at me and just who the crap does he think he is? Don't look at me man!

"Don't what?" he says not skipping a fucking beat and oh man! I know I'm going to hurt this guy. The nigger looks at me. The third person, oh what is he? Someone small with blonde hair but it doesn't matter because this guy who spit at me Don't what? thinks he's so fucking cool. His overcoat, the strands of matted hair, the bulging eyes.

BLAM!

Take that motherfucker yes! There's only one wacko around here tonight! I'm the one doing the killing and I just love the sight of your brains scattered so thoughtfully about on the BUS HERE sign. Is that what you were doing? Waiting for a bus? At three fucking goddamning A.M.? I don't think so fuckface and oh God I sniff and sniff again and the black fucking cunt crotch fucking black nigger rancid cunthole bitch is screaming and I grab her.

I will kill you God how I just want to push my fingers as far into you as I possibly can oh God so hard just push and squeeze and I will

now take a bite out of your face. Scream? No one is here to help. The third person, the small blonde one, ran away so now it's just you and me, nigger bitch. I love it when you scream! You think that hurt? Well I now grab your nose hard with my teeth, lock down with my incisors and molars, and pull. Geez, now your gasping and you fall to the pavement. Now I turn and see the fucking third fucking person, the blonde, staring back at me like a frozen deer.

BLAM!

Through the head oh shit I've done it I've fucking done it I've killed them all! The blonde one is twitching...now still...a white human with a blotch of red at the end. But no. I want more. I know that black nigger bitch is still alive. I pull the tequila, oh Pancho! Fuck me Pancho buddy right now and swallow! Oh God yes and sniff...

Fucking ciga-fucking-rette time.

I have been standing for a minute, staring. God this is great. I collect the bodies of the blonde and wacko man and pile them by the bus sign because what this fucking world needs is a few needy piles of rotting fucking bodies by bus signs. The black bitch tried to escape but ohhhh lawdy, I grabbed her sobbing, bleeding head, softly stuck it in my crotch and moved it around for a few glorious seconds, then slammed it into the cement as hard as I could. She's quieter but oh this is great! I want to fuck her so bad now! The sound her skull made when it hit the pavement is pure heaven! Smack smack smack smack oh fucking Jesus and Christ almighty! I love this!

The more she dies, the more I want her. I slam her head again and this time she tries to get up and turn away but stupid cunt bitch! I unzip my pants and oh God this bitch wants it! I slam again and again and her head is starting to fall into pieces and fucking cunt fucking nigger bitch! I need to have something to grab onto. Want this knife?! She did. And soon the mush by her neck makes me even harder and I turn her on her back. I put my cock on her and take this oh fucking cunt bitch. Pancho time! How's this bitch? Slice your belly and my fucking longer than shit cock is gonna fuck your guts! I would cum on your face but your head ain't there no more.

I cum in your intestines.

Put 'em all together; the blonde, the wacko, the nigger. Place their bodies together, and oh man I want to do some more. I grab these fucking bodies at their necks and cram them together there. I am going to bite all three at once. Now eat. Oh shit it's better than sushi. One bite of each is enough because there are other avenues to explore!

I hear more, closer sirens. To the left and down an alley I hear people closing their windows to hide the violence they have just heard, but I am going that way. Some poor fucking asshole is going to die tonight.

This is gonna be great.

Yes your muscles grab at it and they're moist but I have to go now nigger bitch. Thanks for the orgasm you fucking gash in a steak. Now the alley. Across the street there is commotion but that is over there, who gives a shit about the fucking hazy alien world of fucking over there? Some figures stare, some run and I wonder why they don't come here and LET ME SLICE THEM! I WANT TO FUCKING SLICE AND DICE! They stare at me and murmur.

murmurmurmurmurmurmur

And I murmur back, but in my own fucking cocklick way you fucking imbecile jumping monkeys from within the shit that is formed within my bowels! They run away and down the street, which is smart because I will surely fucking kill them by God if they don't.

I look around this fucking crap-eating place and see there is no one left to play with. There are only these rancid good for nothing pieces of shit corpses in front of me that I just killed and fucked and they bore me now. Pancho!!

Pancho oh shit I drink and it goes down the wrong pipe and

Buuurrrppp

oh fucking shit the acid feel in my nose and my stomach fucking lurches and

Reettttcchhh!

So I fucking goddam puke on these cunt-lick bodies, the fucking nigger gash in a steak bitch cunt from hell, the wannabe cocksucking wacko in an overcoat who fucking thinks his cunt head brains are a match for my murderous ways, and the sleazy cocksucking blonde bleeding little shit who I can't fucking cunt-licking tell if it's a goddamned man or woman. Which is it? Was it a bitch or a bastard that squirted from your mother's putrid cunt when you were born?

The sirens are getting closer. Could they be...

What's that? To my left! Someone is down that alley and as I look I can fucking see him running! Well whoever you are you little dumbfuck prick-face, you have just signed your death warrant!

I run.

Into the dark alley it is so black but I can hear you, you little piece of shit! You're right behind these goddamned garbage cans aren't you you little crap wipe don't FUCKING HIDE FROM ME! You'll just get it worse.

More noise, over...there!

I see you! You try to run but you stumble and I kick at your heels and you fall! Well well well well! What have we here? A fucking wino drunker than shit and sniveling at me like a fucking junky rat on heroin and by the way do you have any? I'll shoot up if you do and fucking speaking of goddamned fucking shitting-ass cunt-lick fucking shooting, wanna see my gun you whiny sniveling little drunk shit?!

"Don't hurt...hurt me.."

Why would I want to hurt you? I'll tell you why you spineless fucking prick! Because goddammit I'm gonna kill some poor bastard tonight and you're it you fucking shit!

"Please don't..."

I hate it when you beg you fucking bastard I hate it when I hear that! You're fucking dead! Fucking whining little pathetic worthless piece of sniveling shit! Here's my gun in your face you fucking...

Light! In my face! It's coming from the right!

SOMETHING'S NOT FUCKING RIGHT!!

"This is the police! Drop the gun!"

The fucking pigs are here?! Why didn't I fucking cunt-licking hear them? I was too busy listening to this fucking pathetic wino! Those sirens! They must have turned them off when they got close and...

"Drop the gun now! Or we'll shoot!"

Those people who murmured

murmurmurmurmurmurmurmur

must have called the fucking pigs fucking bastards I'll fucking kill you for doing that! By God someone's going to fucking die tonight!

This is gonna be great.

"This is our last warning! You have three seconds!"

Three little ol bitty cunt hair crotch sucking seconds? Hey wino! Eat this!

BLAM!

At the same time I splatter his brains and mushy red bloody chunky guts from the inside of his head onto the ground (which was such a beautiful sight illuminated by those nice cops' lights) I jumped behind the garbage cans and they miss! The fucking fuzzy wuzzy pigs shoot and they hit the garbage cans!

I throw all the garbage cans, rolling them, sending them fucking clashing and banging and topsy-turvy and this hides me as I round a corner! Pancho! Give me a swig!

Oh fucking God I'll never

SNIFF SNIFF SSNNIIIIFFFFF!!!

get tired of that fucking stuff.

Life is great.

And I can tell it's almost over.

But until then hide! Fucking cocklicking hide! Down this entryway to a fucking

store? apartment?

and I will crouch here in the fucking darkness behind these garbage cans and by God do I need another cigarette and I fucking wish I had some cocksucking coke but then if I did it they would here me SNIIIFFFFFF!

And I'd die high motherfuckers try to kill me? I'll die fucking fried and wasted and feeling much fucking goddamned sonofabitching better than all of you do you fucking hear me you fucking pathetic fucking pieces of fucking shit! Do you?!

"Where'd he go?" they ask as they round the corner and I crouch, still wishing like hell I had more coke. Should I do more Pancho now or should I wait? I want a swig goddammit! I wish you fucking cops were gone then I could do it goddammit! Oh what the hell.

Here Pancho buddy I just can't refuse another shot! They fucking hear me as I swish the tequila

swishswishswishswish

and I kind of realize through my fucking muddled garbage brain that I really don't care because I know I am going to die tonight and I don't fucking care! Just as long as I can take some of you pieces of shit off this toilet world with me because we're all fucking worthless!

Well, except for me.

As I chug two big shots, I realize the fucking cops know where I am and are going to get me! Oh God officer! Please don't hurt little ol' fucking me - I wouldn't hurt a fly! A fly no, but you fucking worthless bastards piss me off bad and I have got to do God a favor and get you little pieces of shit off the streets and into the grave to rot and be fucking eaten by fucking maggoty mites and crap-sucking flesh-chewing rotted carnage sucking vermin!

So I jump up and surprise them.

BLAM!

I shoot one directly between his eyes and he drops so I point at the next cop and

BLAM!

OH GOD FUCKING GOD I'M SHOT!!

Motherfucker's fast, that he is. I can't believe he got me first, but where did he get me? My fucking toasted wasto mind can't decipher where the pain is but it made me drop so it must be somewhere fucking important. I look down and although there is very little fucking cocksucking cunt-juicing light here, I can see the wetness between my chest. I am on my side and I hear the cop approach me.

Fucking bastard! You shot me fucking bastard fucking bastard fucking bastard fucking bastard!

He'll shoot me again and that'll be it for me! Well good-by fucking world good-by...

...but wait!

I feel the knife just inside my fucking jacket so I quickly grab it and throw!

He shoots me again, but holy fucking shit I should join the fucking goddamned cocksucking cuntlicking circus! My knife hit his throat bull's eye and sunk in! He grabs his throat, gurgling as the blood fills his gullet and he chokes, tries to scream, but chokes and it's such a motherloving excellent fucking sight to see a body squirm and twist and turn as it dies before my eyes. Thank you God for this beautiful night.

Sniff! SNIFF!

He falls. Did he get me? I'm so drunk and fucking fried I could be dead and not even fucking goddam know it! But I am alive fucking A! When I try to stand I realize that fucking pig shot my leg and I can't fucking stand at all! Fucking bastard fucking bastard! Go to hell for shooting me fucking bastard!

I lie still for a minute and what little of my own cunt-chewing blood I can see pleases me much thank you! I love blood goddammit - even my own! I want to die oh shit oh fucking shit oh God take me now fucking take me fucking...

I hear more gurgling. The cop who has my cocksucking knife in his fucking head-holding neck is still alive! Oh yay! Goodie goodie goodie time for more fucking fun oh thank you God!

I can't walk but I can crawl! I see the pig on the ground and he's still kind of twitching. There is a little more light out here, coming from some sorry fucking lamp or some dumbfucking thing like fucking that so I can see him squirm and I love it! As I near him he turns his head and sees me! Oh God I love the terror in his eyes and he's fucking screaming with incredible mondo fear! He knows I'm going to kill him, slice and dice and chop and chew and he's right! I crawl to him and as I pull myself up to sit on his chest, I feel the pain from the bullets in me.

Fucking bastard!

Looking down on your fucking face right now is such a pleasant sight oh lawdy yes indeedy! Who's the boss now motherfucker? That knife is still in your throat but let me fucking pull that out for you all right? Grab tight and pull!

Pancho time! Cigarette time!

Light a smoke and thank you God for letting me still have my lighter, to not have fucking lost it somewhere among all this cocksucking commotion and oh yeah thank you for not letting it be one of those goddamned child proof lighters cuz I am fading now and my mind ain't what it used to fucking cunt-eating be!

Wanna drink ossifer? Huh Mr. Fucking Wannabelikeme Pig Bastard? Wanna drink ossifer? I'll just tip this fucking bottle a little and there! Splash tequila in your throat to sterilize that beautiful fucking gawdawful wound! What's that you say?

gurglegurglegurglegurgle

Hey you know blood spit out of that fucking slit in your piece of worthless shit throat of yours when you tried to talk! Here asshole motherfucker! Have some more!

gurglegurglegurgle

Did I fucking say you could talk? Well shit fucker my tequila's gone oh Pancho I love you will you please visit me again someday?

I don't need this crappy fucking bottle so I'll just

SMASH

it on the street here and there! Now we have a fucking broken razor-sharp jagged bottle! Want some? Terror in your eyes fucking tells me that yes you do! Here motherfucker! I jab it at your face and jab and jab and slice and slash and jab and fuck I cut myself and there's not just blood everywhere but also chunks of stuff all over this street.

You're dead now asshole. Just to make fucking sure ass-wipe, I'll take my knife here and hey fucker I'm sorry you're fucking dead! Let's bury the hatchet or in this sorry case, the knife!

Ow! The bullets the fucking bullets I can feel them burning in me now after I sunk my knife deep into the middle of your face (I guess your nose used to be there). Dead now aren't you? Oh God yes you're dead I'm so high from that I love it when you're dead dead DEAD DEAD DEAD!!

Cocksucker.

Cigarette time! What happened to that one I just fucking lit? Where oh where just where the fuck is it? Oh there it is by God, on the ground next to the other fucking pig who I fucking shot in the head.

Sirens again. There's more coming. Good-by cruel world oh ha-ha-ha this fucking sorry world we live in is so cruel God I'm glad I'm fucking leaving it tonight!

Let me crawl to you cigarette! Ouch as I fall off slashed-face cunt-for-brains dead cop - OUCH! You're both fucking dead oh God but you Mr. Bullet-in-the-head pig! You fucking are not fucking ass-wiping crotch-licking dead enough cunt-bastard fucker! My gun here says you need another fucking bullet or two! Bastard!

Hi cigarette, fill me with pleasure, and you do as I drag and now where to put you out? In the bullet hole of course! Well pig! If that bullet didn't kill you then this cigarette fucking will! Frying your brains with this smoke!

Sirens getting closer! God they're fast!

Trying to crawl oh God you're going to fucking die for shooting me all of you this whole fucking world ouch shit fuck!

I love the blood but I want to see more so

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

click

What?

click

Oh fuck no I'm fucking out of fucking bullets. Let's see though, you're head is starting to split like a flower from the bullets. I want to eat your brains ass-wipe, eat you for wanting to kill me before I could kill you.

I can just reach your head. What a fucking feast!

chompchewchompchew

What a feast! I want to fuck your guts too like I did that nigger gash bitch, but the sirens are just around the corner now and I know there's not much time left. FUCK!

I do want to die though. How fucking glorious. I am fucked up. Is that what I really want or am I just thinking that because I'm so fucking wasted?

God those brains tasted good. A fitting last meal.

The sirens those fucking FUCKING sirens! They sound serious.

How much time has passed? These bullets in me make it goddamned hard to know how much time has passed - my fucking head is swaying - am I dying?

The sirens stopped but now I see another cop looking my way. Shit you just make a little noise and suddenly there's fucking cops everywhere. Can't a man fucking relax without being fucking hassled so goddamned much goddammit?!

There's another cop walking towards me now!

What to die too fucker? Huh twat-breath? Wanna come with me? Fucker's got a gun but fucking shit I know that if I just fucking lie here and don't do anything he won't know if I'm alive or fucking dead...

...oh to be dead please God thank you for letting me almost be there you're so fucking kind.

More time passes. They have lights on me now, again more fucking cocksucking lights dammit I want to twist and turn my knife in your face and feel the sinew grind and snap and pop like squeezing a kitten until it explodes in my hands. I know they will fucking shoot me but dammit! No! I am dead! My gun's empty fucking empty why why why why...

And what's this? The cop who's goddamned brains I ate - his gun is lying next to him and I'll fucking bet if I grab it and am quick enough then I may get a shot off.

Oh no you fucking bastard prick cop bastard asshole shithead. You're not going to get me. I want to die and yes I know it's going to be right now but nothing would be more fucking satisfying and orgasmic and glorious than to do it myself. Oh this gun's big.

"Freeze or..."

Yeah yeah, I know, or you'll shoot. Go ahead, but please wait until after I do. This gun barrel tastes like copper on my tongue, like foil and pennies as I cram it into my mouth and gag as it hits the back of my throat. I wonder if I will hear the fucking thing go off after I pull the trigger but before my brains splat all over this fucking street.

BLAM!

I did.

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