"Something’s coming over me
My baby’s got a secret"
--Madonna, "Secret"
Aeris was shaking as she crouched on the ledge with Engywook and
Atreyu. Her injuries, her bandaged shoulder and side especially,
were paining her, but it was nothing unbearable. At Jareth’s
insistence, Urgl had given her a pain-killing brew of some sort.
And that did deaden the throb in her scratches and bruises from
the fight, but if it only muted the deeper wounds, she
didn’t want to think of what it would be like after the brew
wore off. But she shivered in the cool, eternal evening there,
looking down from their vantage point at the gate that awaited
her. "Tell me again," she asked softly.
"The eyes of the sphinx will remain closed," Atreyu
said patiently, "until one who does not feel their own worth
attempts to pass through." His dark eyes appraised her.
"You doubt yourself."
"Possibly," she answered, a nervous little laugh
bubbling up.
Engywook shook his head quickly. "Oh, no no no….You
mustn’t do that. If you do not feel your own worth, you are
doomed. You must remember who and what you are."
"I…I remember that you almost didn’t make
it," she said to Atreyu.
He nodded, his face open and frank. "I had to run. It was
close."
She took a few deep breaths. Her hands were still shaking; she
put them on the ground. "I feel a little sick, Atreyu. I
don’t think I’m ready."
He smiled. "Aeris…you’re as ready as you’ll
ever be."
She looked down the hill, to where the two sphinxes rose up
against the night sky, facing one another, gold and forbidding.
Her painting had barely done them justice.
I’m going to walk between them. Because I have to. And
if I had months to prepare, I still wouldn’t feel as if I
could make it. The only thing that’s going to make me feel
okay is if I go through with it. Everything cancels out,
it’s all in circles…
Did she think she would die? Well, not really. Her painting had
shown much more past this. The witch had read other cards. No,
death wasn’t the problem. It was a possibility, of course.
But she had the feeling that whatever had led her here had not
brought her so far to die.
There was something else that bothered her. The card the witch
had held for this moment had been the card of confession. And
that could only be one thing.
How have you sinned, little rose-born?
Sarah would come up out of that ether of dreams and learn the
truth.
Aeris stood up. Her hands still shook, and she clutched her
dress. "Okay. I want to go."
"Now?" asked Engywook, almost dancing with excitement.
She bit her lip, glancing down at those sphinxes again.
"Yes."
Engywook was in the basket, flying down the hill. Atreyu followed
her down. Fezzik, Sarah, Jareth and Urgl were waiting, talking
together at the bottom.
"This is it," Aeris announced.
"Good luck," said Fezzik cheerily.
"She’ll need it," Sarah said, attempting a
half-hearted joke, but it came out much more serious than
she’d intended.
Aeris threw her arms around Sarah’s neck.
Sarah hesitated, then hugged her back. "Please come back to
us."
"Whatever you want. This time I mean it."
When they parted, she saw Jareth smiling gently. "I
can’t believe you’re actually getting to do it. How
many times did we act this out in the garden as children?"
"Yeah, well, Atreyu didn’t die in the fucking fairy
tale," she answered wryly.
"Oh, such language."
"Blame Sarah."
Sarah feigned shock. "I never used that word in my
life."
The light sparring helped. Aeris gave Fezzik a kiss on the cheek,
then shook hands with Urgl and Engywook. She stood facing Jareth,
both of them uncomfortable.
"I…well, I don’t…" Aeris struggled,
hating his silence and her discomfort.
She was stunned when he reached out and embraced her. She heard
his whisper in her ear.
"I know you, Aeris. And I know you’re good
enough."
He released her, then stood back, putting one hand on
Sarah’s shoulder.
"Let’s do it," said Atreyu.
"Yeah," she said. She took a deep breath, and turned.
And she started the long walk to the sphinxes.
Engywook wanted back up the hill to watch, and so Jareth, Atreyu,
and Sarah started up as well.
"Come on, lazy bones!" cried Engywook to his wife as
she went to work the wheel.
Jareth laughed softly, recalling the story Aeris’ mother had
told them. "To the winch, wench," he murmured, quoting
a line that had always given him the giggles as a child.
"What?" asked Sarah.
"Nothing…" He couldn’t see explaining giggles
to Sarah right then.
Below, they watched Aeris, her silver dress moving around her
ankles as she walked. Her braid swayed behind her, the white
streak barely visible in the plait. Her bag hung on her shoulder,
the top of the painting sticking out. They saw her reach into it,
pulling something out, but they didn’t see what.
Aeris took out the card that the witch had given her. When she
reached the threshold of the gate, she looked at it.
The hanged man. All that pain and suffering. Was that they way to
redeem herself? Was that what she should even be concerned about?
A little breeze shifted around her. She glanced up at the golden
sphinxes with their closed eyes and waiting.
No, redemption was not what she was here for.
"I am here for Inigo Montoya," she whispered, and she
tore the card in two.
She began to walk forward.
But on the hill, that breeze stirred something else. A whisper
slipped through Sarah’s memory, trickled like water through
the cracked dam of Oberon’s spell. Her own voice.
Jareth…what have you done?
And suddenly, there in the night of Fantasia, she could smell the
forest of the Labyrinth, feel warm summer rain on her skin, taste
it, salty on her lips like tears.
"No," she said quietly, surprised at the pain, the
vision in her mind so clear it could be nothing but reality.
"Oh, god no…"
"Sarah?" Jareth turned to her, looking at her with
concern…and knowing.
She stared at him, tears making his image blur. She opened her
mouth and couldn’t speak to him. He reached out to her. She
backed away from him, her voice unlocking. "You betrayed
me…you and Aeris…in the woods…oh my god…and
Stephan…you all knew, you all tricked me…"
"It wasn’t like that, I swear," Jareth said, an
instant confession, his words running together, reaching out for
Sarah still, his gloved hand stretched out desperately for hers.
"Get away from me…"
"She’s going through the gate!" cried Atreyu,
kneeling to see through Engywook’s viewer.
"They eyes…are they opened or closed?" demanded
the little man.
Sarah and Jareth both stopped, turning to look down the hill.
Aeris moved slowly through the path between the sphinxes, holding
her bag tightly to her side, her heart pounding painfully.
Feel my own worth, she thought, barely able to make her
feet move, and yet somehow doing it. Feel my own worth…
"Closed," whispered Atreyu on the hill.
"Let me see!" cried Engywook.
"She’s going to die," Sarah said, staring at the
figure below them. "She’s going to pay."
Aeris reached for some focal point, desperately searching her
heart for the key. What was her worth, exactly? Who was she, the
person who’d betrayed Sarah or the person who’d saved
her life? Her eyes flitted over the faces of the sphinxes. She
was almost beneath them. She was Herald. She was worthy. She
could do it. Under them. Almost through them.
But…
The thought came into her head with such suddenness she
couldn’t fight it. It overwhelmed her. She had not simply
betrayed Sarah, but everyone and everything, even Inigo. Why save
him? Better to let him die than to know what she had become. And
the selfishness of that thought brought on yet another wave of
disgust and hatred.
And then she saw the golden glow beneath the lids of the sphinxes
as they opened. Now it would end; she would be punished for good
and ever. She would die for killing Sarah’s love.
"Run Aeris!"
Jareth’s voice echoed madly down from the hill, and he knew
it would never reach her in time. She had all but stopped in her
tracks, and the eyes of the sphinxes had begun to open on her
doubting heart.
But she did hear him. She broke into a run.
His voice was joined by Atreyu’s and Engywook’s. They
were shouting at her, cheering for her. Sarah remained silent,
her fists clenched and her face pale as winter light.
She was almost through, but the eyes were almost completely
opened. The light grew.
She fell.
"No!" Atreyu screamed.
And she rolled a few more feet in the dust.
The light flashed from the sphinxes. Aeris felt heat and power on
her, but no pain. Then she opened her eyes. Sat up. Looked
around.
She was still alive.
She scrambled to her feet, open-mouthed and disbelieving, staring
up at the sphinxes. Her eyes caught the slight pit in the dust
only inches from her. It had been so close. Then she looked to
the hill.
Sarah was running down, Jareth standing helpless and lost at the
top. Engywook skipped about excitedly, thrilled for her success.
Atreyu sensed the larger picture, and he looked down, back at
Aeris, and then turned away.
So Sarah knew. It was all for nothing because Sarah knew the
truth. She didn’t know about Jareth, but there was no relief
for her, only the knowledge that her survival had served to cause
even more suffering. She knelt down in the dust, wanting to weep
but hating the feel of her dry eyes so desperately that she
didn’t.
"Get up."
She started, standing again and whirling around. The goddess Eris
looked at her, smiling, her wild green eyes filled with approval.
"Good. Now get moving."
"I…Sarah knows…"
"You’re surprised?"
"No," she confessed.
"Let’s go, Aeris." She spoke more urgently.
She hesitated.
"You can’t do anything now. We have to go."
Aeris started to walk. Eris led her along.
"You’re going to love this next test…just love
it."
She didn’t respond. She just walked beside the goddess,
silent and brooding. She had no idea how long it went on. But
suddenly, she glanced up, and saw an unexpected sight: snow
surrounded her, but no cold. It might have been made of paper.
She was surprised out of her deep reverie and actually reached
out to catch a snowflake. It faded on her hand, not quite melting
so much as vanishing. Aeris was horrified by the smile on her
face; it seemed wrong to smile after what had happened. And yet
it was there, the corners of her mouth lifting up in a charmed,
delighted expression.
"I thought you’d like this."
She frowned then, turning away from the goddess, walking a little
further ahead of her. Eris paid the show of temper no mind, and
kept speaking to her as if she’d replied. "You know how
this one works, of course. These are questions of the soul,
questions of courage."
Aeris glanced at the goddess, the snow swirling around them.
"I figured that much."
"You barely made it through the last one."
"Yeah, I noticed."
Eris paused. "You don’t understand. Aeris, it’s
quite possible that self-doubt is so much of your character
make-up that you don’t even see the truth of yourself."
The Herald let out an exasperated breath. "What are you
doing here, anyway?"
"You finally ask, eh? I’ve been watching. I’m
always watching."
Aeris scowled.
"Well, I promised I would. You know that. But the point is,
I know you need to do this."
She was thoughtful, walking ahead through the snow. "Well, I
am."
"No, Aeris…not this, not just this quest. This test.
The mirror."
She stopped. "Okay. I know you want to, so do it. Explain it
to me. What’s the problem with this test?"
"It is your reflection, Aeris. Before you turn from what you
see, remember the words the witch said. Remember the Prince of
Wands. I have to go, you’re almost there."
"But…"
"I’ll see you again soon. Don’t take what you find
here at face value. Seek the truth beyond your doubt."
The goddess vanished.
"Bitch," Aeris muttered.
She stared ahead, looking into the snow for the mirror. Something
flashed in the white.
"How hard could this be?" she asked herself.
She approached the mirror. It stood before her, free and round
and clear in the haze of snow falling around her. Loose strands
of her hair whipped around her face. She brushed them aside.
The first thing she saw in the glass was herself. At first her
heart skipped up inside her, hopeful that this was all the mirror
would show her. But then the glass changed. Slowly, she watched
her reflection become transparent. And she saw a familiar face
emerge.
Jareth’s.
She stood there in disbelief for a moment. Surely this was wrong
somehow…
And then she understood completely. Jareth, the villain, the
cruel boy, this was who she truly was. Indeed, they really were
more alike than she’d suspected.
"No. Please, not this…"
She put her hand to her mouth, shaking her head, watching her
transparent image move beneath his stronger one. It was so
horribly unfair. She had judged herself harshly, and while she
had likened herself to that streak of villainy in Jareth, she had
never gone so far as to believe that was her true self. And now
it literally stared her in the face. She took one step backwards.
She began to turn away.
Wait just one minute.
Jareth, so much like the world he ruled, was not what he seemed.
Aeris’ perception of him was only half-right. She paused,
her hands dropping to her sides, her face openly surprised. With
a great effort, she opened her mind up, forced herself into
objectivity, as she recalled the words of the Sea Witch.
The airy part of air. A young man, swift, strong, impulsive.
Violent, but just. A sense of humor. Proud and cruel.
Eris’ first lesson to her had been the beauty beneath the
skin. That was why Eris had met her on the other side of the
sphinxes, that was the thing she’d come to remind her. Had
she forgotten so easily? Aeris looked into the face in the
mirror, as familiar as her own, and smiled just a little. Yes,
this was an accurate description of Jareth, the man that operated
behind the mask. And that would mean…
That this was her true self. In her doubts, she had only been
able to assign the most base characteristics to him, and in turn,
to herself.
Had she passed the test?
She walked forward. She put her fingers on the surface of the
glass. It gave like a curtain. And she found herself stepping
through.
The other side was night again, that splendid, beautiful,
star-studded darkness hanging over the desert. And the Southern
Oracle rose up, glowing softly blue against the horizon, but
otherwise identical to that first gate.
"You’ve come far, rose-born," the Oracle said as
she approached. The voice was gentle and feminine, comforting.
Aeris stopped at the threshold, looking up into the calm faces of
the sphinxes.
"Rose-born. Why don’t you call me Herald?"
"The title is archaic. Before the time of your great-great
grandmother. But if you prefer Herald, that is what I will call
you."
She shrugged. She didn’t know if it was proper to shrug at
the Southern Oracle, but she felt she ought to hold an honest
conversation. "I don’t much care. I have a few more
important things to talk about."
"Inigo Montoya."
"Can you tell me where he is?"
The Oracle answered calmly and frustratingly, "Yes."
Aeris waited. There was nothing from them but that faint physical
hum of power surging around her, so potent she could feel it in
the air. "Well?" she finally asked.
"He is in a place you know."
"Then I can find him? I can go to him and save him?"
"The way forward is often the way back."
Aeris’ heart sank. Labyrinthine logic. Would it follow her
everywhere to the end of her days? "I will not solve
riddles. I have come too far for this."
"It is only a riddle to the mind that closes itself to the
answer."
"I don’t understand…"
It seemed almost amused and impatient with her, those impassive
sphinx faces conveying emotion over emotion endlessly, the sound
of the voice guiding the listener to see the expression hidden in
the stone. "The one who holds him captive is known to you.
In truth, you are the reason for his imprisonment."
"Oh, no…Calypso…no, it’s those damned
gods…"
"Herald."
She paused, looking up at the Oracle.
"Necrodemos."
Her chest tightened the way a young girl’s does when she
hears the name of her secret love. "That’s
impossible," she said. "The Fae Gatekeeper bound
him."
"The ties were temporary. You knew this."
She shook her head. It felt like slow motion. "Please, if
it’s another test…"
"Everything is a test. Even accepting the truth."
"I can’t fight him," she whispered.
"Then you must surrender. He will come for you eventually if
you do not go to him. The only difference you can make is Inigo
Montoya’s life. You have come too far, destroyed too many
bridges to stop now."
She had ceased to listen, ceased to care. "After all
this," she said, "why did it have to be him?"
The Oracle began to do what she knew it would in the back of her
mind, although up until that moment, the more forward parts of
her mind had forgotten that part of the story. The blue sphinxes
cracked and began to break apart. She had thought it was the
fault of the Nothing in the story, but now she realized it was
her own; her power had done that in her expectation. The idea
didn't give her pause then but it would keep her grim company
later.
"You must not give up," they told her.
"Then tell me how to beat him!"
"Be brave, Herald. Be brave."
The Oracle began to crumble, large pieces of the stone falling
from them. She started to run. She wasn’t exactly sure where
she was headed, but she knew very well she couldn’t stay
there.
Necrodemos. She had come all this way to hear that name.
Impossible. But real. Horrible. But real. Her running slowed as
she outdistanced the falling Oracle. Where was she headed? What
was she doing? She came to a stop, her head clouded with cold
fear, and she sat down on the ground.
