~Chapter 11~
"The Great Escape"

I paced around, furious, helpless, only being able to go a few feet before my chains tripped me up. They rattled on the cold stone floor of the dark dungeon, an irritating reminder of my bonds, even when they weren’t holding me back.

"Alexa," hissed Elysian Wynd. "Sit down, would you?"

"Really," a few other Listians muttered.

"You can lay there like victims, but I’m thinking!" I answered.

"Well I can’t with you rattling around like that," snapped Anakerie.

"Sor-ry!" I huffed over to a corner and flopped down. "Did you see his face? He laughed at us! Like we were nothing!" I ranted. "That bitter, sadistic weirdo!"

"Yeah, but he’s soooo cute," said Jess, grinning.

"Cool those hormones and let’s think of a way out of here," said Shanon. "First we have to get out of these. If only we had something to pick the locks with..."

"You mean like this?" the Riddler held up a key.

"Yeah, just like that!" cried Irish Creme. "Where the hell did that come from??"

He shrugged.
"What is something nothing is
And yet it has a name
It joins our walks
And joins our talks
And plays in every game"

We groaned.

"I don’t care enough to answer that riddle," said Dreamin’. "Just get us out of here."

In a moment, we were free from our chains, but we found out that the key didn’t fit the door.

"The key is way too big," said Rebecca, disappointed.

"What’re we going to do now?" sighed Starz.

"Pick the lock?" Shannon suggested, looking at Riddler, half hoping he’d pull out another key, but no such luck.

"What do we have?" asked Seona. "Anything useful?"

Everyone was looking at me suddenly. More appropriately, everyone was looking at my flute case.

I hugged it to me protectively. "Now just wait a minute. This is nuts. My flute won’t fit in that hole."

"Yeah..." assented Shannon. "But there should be some working parts on it, shouldn’t there?"

"Like maybe one of those rods or something?" said Caitlin.

"You’re bonkers!" I shrieked. "No! N-O! No one is taking apart my flute!!"

Jessie frowned. "I gave up my blazer!"

"You can get another one! This is the only Gemeinhardt 3SHB named Dolores in the WORLD!"

"This is war," said Riddler, in a voice that would have humbled the most cowardly man into bravery. "You can’t trifle over possessions. You have to make a few sacrifices."

"Uh...I...well..." The Listians were closing in on me like jackels. "Here!" I cried, handing over my tuning rod, the long, silver stick I used to check the cork at the top of the flute (it’s technical). "The rest you’ll have to fight me for!"

They drew back, looking at it closely for a while. "Good enough," shrugged Cerridwenn.

"Vampires," I muttered, leaning back against a wall and watching them go to work on the lock.

"Uh-oh," said Starz suddenly.

"What is it?" asked Anakerie.

"We’ve got a problem. There are guards."

Aimee sighed. "Well, what did we expect? It’s not like Jareth would have left us in here all alone, right?"

There was a murmur of agreement.

"So what now?" asked Angel. "We just sit around in here until we lose?"

"Not bloody likely," snapped Ruby. "We’re getting out of here."

"How?" demanded Caitlin.

"Like this." She stuck her head close to the bars of the cell door. "Hey!!!!!! You guards out there! You know what? Your mother is a fraggin ardvark!! Yeah, that’s right! A fraggin ardvark!"

Corky tugged her sleeve. "Um, Ruby, do you think maybe..."

"And you call yourselves guards! Why, we’re all out of our chains! Ha!"

We gasped. The sound of the two guards outside tramping up the door rang in our ears. Ruby motioned us away from the door. "Go sit down," she said. But then she grabbed me. "Not you." Her hands were on her flute case. The guards keys rattled ouside. "Gimme that," she said.

"I said no!" I hissed back.

"Come on!"

We struggled with it as quietly as we could. The door of the cell swung open and she shouted. "I said, gimme that!" The flute case slipped out of my hands and off my shoulder, and she swung it, slamming the guards over their misshapen heads. They lay in a heap in the doorway.

Ruby handed me back my flute. "See, everything’s alright. We got the door open, and we got rid of the guards. Two birds with one stone." (a bit of Labyrinth trivia here: Because of our escapade that particular phrase took a pop-culture change among the residents of the Underground. Now, most people say "Two goblins with one flute case." Go fig!)

"Yeah. Sure."

We dragged the guards into the dungeon and chained them up, taking their keys. We locked the door as we left, heading (hopefully!) for the Goblin King’s chambers.

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