More Mayhem With Nana
Identification: Liam is Spike. Elizabeth is Buffy. Joyceln is Joyce. Lady Atherton and Nana Bethie are the same person.
Notes: Feedback, please! And this happens in my alternate reality where my insanity rules and Angel doesn't lose his soul when he and Buffy get pelvic.
Summary: It's 7 days and 23 hours to the wedding...and Nana's talking with Giles....
*****
"Well, now that the division of duties are all done, and since it is indeed an hour before sunset, it is time for this last thing: Who is going to patrol and who is going to go to the hospital?" Nana Bethie demanded."Obviously Angel and Giles are out as candidates to watch the idiot...how about Spike?"
"Nana! Don't be so wicked! He'd probably eat him!"Joyce exclaimed."Liam doesn't like Hank very much. Let Buffy and Faith figure out on what to do, I'm going to take this cocoa and marshmallows down to Liam."
"And with very good reason,"Spike snorted as he shouted out of the basement as Joyce started to walk down the stairs."He tried to hit you, Mum. And he acted like an utter fool when he was married to you."
Nana Bethie stared at her granddaughter as she disappeared down to the basement."I'm still having a bit of trouble believing that Spike likes you mother, Elizabeth."
"I have trouble believing it myself, Nana,"Buffy said dryly. Then she frowned."Nana, I thought we agreed that you were going to call me Buffy?"
"No, dear. You want me to call you by that name. I simply refuse to,"Nana said complacently."Rupert,be a dear and please get me my ashplant. It's in my room, near my bed."
As Giles left the room, Buffy frowned at her Nana."An ashplant? You didn't bring any plants with you Nana."
Nana Bethie sighed."I think that we had better get a British English dictionary soon, this is getting a bit tedious. An ashplant is a walking cane, Elizabeth."
Buffy's brow cleared."Oh. Well, anyway then, Nana, can you please call me Buffy instead of Elizabeth?"
"No,"Nana Bethie said as she drank a sip of her water. She didn't have to look at her great-granddaughter pout at her."And don't try pouting at me, dear. I patented that look eighty years ago."
"But, Nana-"
"Give it up, Buffy,"said Giles, not without a little amount of satisfaction, as he came into the kitchen. He handed the Lady Atherton her cane and then sipped his tea."Lady Atherton is every bit as stubborn as you. I can see where you get your strong will from. As well as your, ah, pouting face."
Lady Atherton, otherwise known as Nana Bethie, took her glass of water and saluted Giles."Thank you, Rupert. And don't forget that I still have to talk with you. Elizabeth, don't you try to be more stubborn than me, dear. I've had at least seventy years more experience than you! So-"
A female scream was heard from downstairs. Willow and Oz shot up, looking for weapons, then ran as soon as Xander handed them some.
As soon as Buffy heard the scream, she raced down, stake whipping out. Faith jumped over the counter, also armed. She was beaten to the basement door by an armed Giles, only because he was closer. Nana Bethie was a heart beat behind Faith.
Another scream was heard as the bodies flashed down the stairs.
*****
"Kill it! Kill it! Over there! And another one there!"Joyce shrieked as she brought her skirt closer to her."There it is! Liam! You missed!"
Spike dove under the bed as Joyce pointed. Her head lifted when she heard stomping from the stairs. Her wide eyes widened eyen more as she took in her daughter, husband, armed with stakes and her nana armed with a heavy wooden cane. Her jaw dropped when she realized that Faith, Oz, Willow and Xander were also like armed with various wooden kitchen utensils."What's going on?"
They stared at Joyce in equal astonishment, for she was on a wobbly chair with her skirts wrapped around her. There was a mess of marshmallows and cocoa on the small rug beside the bed. And Spike was no where to be seen.
"You screamed, Mom,"Buffy panted as she tried to get her heart started again."We thought that Spike was attacking you so we-"
"We came down to rescue you. What's going on? Where's Spike?"Giles panted as he slowly walked over to his wife, he willed his heart to beat slower. Buffy cautiously followed her Watcher as well as the other members of the Scooby gang. Nana Bethie simply remained on the stairs. Oz noticed this and stayed close to her.
Spike popped out from under the bed. His bleached hair all messed up, sticking out at all ends."Oh, bloody hell! Think I'd really eat her? I'd have done it a long time ago if I really wanted to!"
Joyce shook her head frantically."Liam would never attack-There it is! There's the other one! Rupert! Go get it! Liam! By the bookcase! There!"
Spike groaned as he sat up."Bloody Christ! Come on, Slayers! Do something useful for a change! Help me catch the damn things! You, too, Watcher! "
"What things?"Buffy demanded as she saw something flash by the bookcase."What's down here?"
"Two bloody snakes!"Spike growled as he dove to catch one. He saw it flash towards other side of the bed and dove under it to catch it."It went under the bed!"
As Spike spoke, Xander screamed and jumped up on to the bed just as Spike dove under it. Willow jumped on to the chair with Buffy's mother."Snakes!"
"Snakes!"Giles shouted and leaped on to the seaman's chest next to the stairs."Argh!"
When Xander bounced onto the bed, Spike hollered."YEOW! GET OFF ME FUCKING HEAD YOU STUPID FUCKING SON OF A THREE-LEGGED BLIND-EYED BITCH BEFORE I RIP YOUR DICK-SUCKING FUCKING HEAD OFF!NOW! I'LL START WITH THOSE DUMBO EARS! AND THEN I'LL SUCK YOUR FUCKING POOF-LOVING HUSK DRY AND USE IT FOR WORM FOOD AFTER I PUT IT ON THE ROOF SO THAT THE BUGGERS CAN RIP YOUR ARSE AND BOLLOCKS OUT WITH THEIR TEETH!"
Xander yelped as he jumped on to the lamp table. When Spike looked at him with his game face on and rubbing the back of his head, Xander squeaked,"Sorry, Spike!"
"There it is! There's one snake!"Willow yelled. Buffy walked over cautiously at the still form, then frowned.
"That's only Spike's dirty sock,"Buffy said, exasperated."Giles, what are you doing on that chest? Help me catch these things!"
"Yeah, what's up with you up on the chest thing, G-man?"Faith demanded."Aren't you going to help us catch those snakes?"
Giles smiled weakly."Ah...no. I think that practice should be cancelled tonight, since you both are going to use your abilities to capture two snakes."
Buffy and Faith stared at him. Nana Bethie snorted."Rupert hates snakes. Ever since he helped his father kill an extremely large snake-demon when he was a boy."
"But he helped against Machida and the frat boys, and that was a snake demon. And against Lo...Lo, well a snake-demon that was about to eat babies,"Buffy protested."He wasn't afraid then."
"There's actually a demon named Lo-Lo? Will wonders never cease?" Nana Bethie cocked her eyebrow at Buffy."Well, did the demons explode into dozens of little snakes and try to bite you?"
Buffy shook her head. Then looked at Faith, who shrugged. Spike growled."Can we get on with this snake hunt? So that all of you fuck-, I mean, people can get out of my flat?"
Nana Bethie narrowed her eyes at Spike."Did you just curse at us, you overgrown leech?"
"You must be hearing things, Beth. I think that it's the first thing to go in you mortals, the hearing. After the eyes. Anyways, I don't curse in front of Mum. She's a Quality,"Spike smirked at her."Unlike some *hounds* that I know."
"Then what did you just say to me before?"Xander demanded. Spike looked at him malevolently and Xander shrinked.
"You want to be called a lady, Ears? Or do you want to be a tasty snack?"Spike demanded. Xander paled and looked at Joyce. Spike caught her eye."You never said anything about threats, Mum."
"Elizabeth, Faith,"Nana Bethie said suddenly. "Go to the other side of the bed, One against the wall, the other at the foot of the bed. Spike, remain where you are. Xander, be prepared to jump on the bed. Buffy, Spike and Faith, be prepared to catch the snakes. Xander, on my mark, jump on the bed. Now!"
Xander jumped on to the bed. Buffy screamed as she felt something slimy get into her hands. Faith yelped as she caught the end of something rubbery. Not thinking, she lifted it up, and threw it on the bed with Xander.
Xander screamed when he felt the snake flung against him. With another scream, he jumped of the bed, and on to Spike, knocking him down. Buffy quickly threw her own snake on to the bed, and covered the snakes with the blanket."There! That's done! Spike or Angel can throw it out when sunset hits."
"Good show, Buffy! Faith, you as well!"Giles said as he came down from the chest. He lifted his wife down from the chair. Willow jumped off the chair and ran to Oz.
Xander jumped up off Spike and quickly ran behind Joyce. Spike glared as he picked himself off the floor. He started towards Xander, menacingly. Then a wooden cane stopped him. He looked at it, and it's holder.
Nana Bethie smiled at him coolly."If you really want to try it, Leech, we can have a gay old time..."
Joyce stepped between them."Stop it right now. We have other things to think of...Liam? Nana? Please?"
Nana Bethie looked away from Spike reluctantly. Then her eyes focused on Giles."Fine then. Rupert. We will talk. In private. Now. No more dilly-dallying. And we will talk without the children or the vampires present. I will talk to them next."
Nana Bethie then looked at Angel at the top of the stairs. And then at Spike, who growled at her. Nana Bethie smiled as she growled back at him.
*****
Nana Bethie entered the private study room as Giles patiently held the door for her. As she sat heavily down on the reading chair, Joyce entered the closed room, and shut the door with a snap."Nana, I demand that I be here when you talk to Rupert."
Nana Bethie looked at her granddaughter."No."
Joyce planted her feet on the carpet."Yes. He's my husband, and whatever you have to say to him, you can say to me. Whatever you do to him, you'll have to do to me."
"And if I tell him to strip down to his boxers so that I can spank him ten times with my cane, you'll do the same?"Nana Bethie enquired with a cocked eyebrow. Giles opened and closed his mouth like a fish as Joyce flushed red.
"Well...if need be,"Joyce stammered. Then she looked at her nana suspiciously."But you aren't going to tell him to do that, are you, Nana? You're really not going to tan his hide?"
Nana Bethie merely smiled innocently at her granddaughter.Joyce's eyes narrowed."Nana...what is it with today and underwear?"
"Blame it all on Elizabeth's friends, especially that young one called Xander, and Spike, they started it,"Nana Bethie said to her calmly."But now leave me and Rupert to talk. It will be a private matter that if he wishes to discuss with you, he may."
Joyce looked at her grandmother, then at her husband. Rupert smiled at his wife reassuringly."Go, Joyce. I'll be fine. And if Lady Atherton does, er, tan my hide, then you can nurse me back to health."
Joyce nodded slowly, then stopped when her nana called out to her."Joyce? If anyone listens in on my conversation with Rupert, PARTICULARLY THAT HOYDEN OF A GREAT-GREATGRANDDAUGHTER OF MINE AND HER BRIDAL PARTY, I WILL PERSONALLY PUT ALL THREE OVER MY KNEE. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD, ELIZABETH?"
"UNDERSTOOD, NANA,"Buffy shouted back through the door. When Joyce opened it, she saw a red-faced Buffy, Willow, Faith and Xander smile at her."Well, ah, I'll just visit Dad while you have your talk. Oz wants to stay here and-"
"Listen in on my conversation with Rupert because he has exceptionally acute hearing due to his being a werewolf?"Nana Bethie said blandly. Buffy reddened further as Giles hid a smile."Have him go with Angel to plan his bachelor's party. Xander, I suggest that you pick up Cordelia, else that nice man she met today will take her home. Elizabeth, go to the hospital with your mother and the others, but if you take Spike, *do not* let your father see him. Now. I am quickly losing patience, child. Go."
"Yes, Nana,"Buffy said meekly as she gave her Nana a small pout face with sad eyes. Joyce hid a grin as she ushered her daughter and friends out.
Nana Bethie merely rolled her eyes as Giles closed the door."Yea Gods! She is a *handful*! How did Joyceln *have* such an imp?"
"Joyce says Buffy takes after her great-grandmother, an almost exact replica, in fact,"Giles coughed. Her face pink, Lady Atherton studied Giles as he gave her a bland look.
After a few minutes of silence, Giles cleared his throat and was about to say something when Lady Atherton stood up and walked to the desk and picked up a vase of fresh flowers.
Giles watched in facination when she opened the window and threw the flowers and water out. Two screams were heard a second later. Giles blinked as she stuck her head out to shout,"Angel! Go plan your bachelor party!"
She was about to close the windows when after a second she threw the vase out."Spike! Angel! Catch! It's a Dresden!"
When she heard a shout and a scream, she shouted,"Nice catch, Spike! Joyceln won't be mad at you for not catching it. And, Angel, you ought to be more careful about where you're running to! Running right into the bushes is *not* a good idea considering your fatal allergy to them!"
"Beth! I'm going to suck you dry!" Spike shouted at her.
"Better get that flower out of your hair first!"she shouted back at him."And Angel? It would do nicely if you would be polite to the Thurman chap when you see him. Else Elizabeth and the idiot will be *very* displeased with you."
As she closed the window, she shook her head. Then she turned to look at Giles."Is it really this difficult to get into a private conversation with you?"
"They *are* a bit, protective, Lady Atherton. But they do mean well,"Giles said in all seriousness."And they are, ah, quite curious as to what you have to speak about. And given the fact that the Watcher's Council has tried to separate us all before, they are a bit leery-"
"Rupert, you're babbling. And I am not here on Council business, not really,"Lady Atherton said as she sat back down on the sofa heavily."Come, sit here. And talk to me. And then I will tell you my news."
Giles cautiously sat next to Lady Atherton. He was vaguely concerned. The last time he sat like this, next to her, he was applying for her help in remaining married to Joyce. And it was a brief, uncomfortable, if successful meeting."Yes, my lady? What do you wish to speak to me about?"
*****
Glaring at the road, Spike grumbled as he sat in the Jeep going towards the hospital."Knew I should have killed when I had the chance! It was a freaking fluke over eighty years ago, and now she's back! Never should have listened to meself when I said to avoid her! Should've-"
"Spike!"Buffy shouted from the back seat."Move your damn seat up! I have no room back here!"
"Tough, Slayer! I called shotgun!"Spike shouted back as he leaned his seat back further. Buffy retaliated by kicking the back of his seat. Hard.
"Buffy, if you break the upholstery in this car, you're paying for it,"Joyce warned. Then she looked at Spike when she stopped at a red light."So, Liam, how did you meet Nana?"
"Yeah, did she *really* kick your ass? I bet she did. I wish I there to see it,"Buffy smirked at him Spike turned around to glare at her."Well, did she?"
Spike growled as he looked at Buffy."Watch your language about your Mum, Slayer. And, NO, she did not kick my ass, Slayer. Think she'd still be alive to tell about it if she did?"
Willow cocked her head sideways, and looked at him."No, but then she has something to hold you away from her. Something that lasted for over eighty years. So...what is it?"
"What the hell, I mean, what do you mean by that, witch?"Spike scowled at her. Willow shrugged. She felt safe enough with Buffy and her mom in the car.
"I mean when we first met her, it was obvious that the two of you know and, uh, really dislike each other,"Willow said with a frown as she thought of her first meeting with Buffy's Nana."And she gave you that scar over your eye, and keeps mentioning it when you piss-, I mean, get on her nerves."
"And she said something about warning you about staying away from hers,"Buffy said with a frown."So what gives? Nana has an bad attitude that scares you? And she can beat your ass? Even at the ripe old age of ninety-eight?"
"Very funny, Slayer,"Spike shrugged."She's a Hound. That's all. To us vampires, that's enough of a reason to hate her."
As she made the turn, Joyce glanced at Spike."What does Nana being a Finder have anything to do with her hold over you?"
Spike shifted uncomfortably. He wished the damn hospital would show up soon."Probably the same hold that she has on everybody else that she meets."
Joyce looked at him puzzled."She had a hold on everybody she meets? My Nana?"
Spike sighed."Your nana, Mum, being who she is, namely, a Hound, naturally has a hold of somethings that shouldn't have been known. To anyone. And she uses them to get her way."
"You make her sound like an blackmailer,"Buffy joked. Spike glared at her. Buffy's eyes then rounded."You're not kidding. Are you, Spike?"
Spike looked at the approaching hospital."Beth and I go back a long way. She was searching for a Pest when I met her. We fought. I hurt her, badly. She hurt me just as bad. She lived. I lived, then we went our separate ways. End of story."
Buffy studied Spike with frown."No...not end of story. There's more to it. So what is it?"
"And what's a pest?" Willow added as she bit her lip."Why was she looking for a pest?"
"A Pest is a potential Slayer, Red,"Spike said reluctantly."And as the Watcher said, she has the record for finding the most pests. And that's not all she can find if she wants to. Figure it out, Slayer. You're bright enough even though you sometimes seem to have a little too much bubbles in your head."
*****
Lady Atherton looked at Giles."I want to speak to you about the future, Rupert. It was something that I want to speak to you first, and not in front of Joyceln."
"The future?"Giles echoed cautiously."What about it? Will there be a catastrophe? Something dangerous to Buffy? Or Joyce?"
Lady Atherton shook her head."No. Nothing serious to them, at least I don't think so. Not at this moment, although there will be something going on at either the wedding or the reception. I'm not quite sure yet. But this has to do with you and all that is yours, Rupert. It is set, but the time is not. Not yet."
Giles looked at her as she smiled at him slightly."What is not set, my lady?"
"Because I tell you this, you can alter your future if you wish and I can help you if you want,"Lady Atherton said cautiously. At Giles's nod she continued."In a few years time, you will be asked to join the Watcher's Council. And a few years after that, you will be the Director of the Council."
Giles stared at her. Flabbergasted."I-I have no idea what to say, my lady. A Giles? Watcher's Council? Director?"
"Say nothing yet, Rupert. There is more," Lady Atherton said."In those years, at least one of your children, yours and Joyceln's will become a Finder. A powerful one. One that has an ability on the level of mine."
Giles stared a Lady Atherton."Ch-children?"
*****
Buffy stared at the hospital, then slowly smiled."She could find you, couldn't she? That was her threat, wasn't it? During the day, in the night. In any country, Nana could find you and stake your dead butt."
Buffy looked at a confused Willow, then at Spike."Nana has the ability to sort of see the future, she wouldn't know exactly where you were when she predicted, but she could make a good guess. And she knows where you were. So in digging your past, she could find out stuff that you wouldn't want known. To anyone. As a human or a demon."
Buffy then smiled broadly."And she could also, I bet, predict your moves. That's why you weren't able to kill her, and you're so reluctant to try again. You probably stand a better chance with me fighting you than you do with Nana."
Spike glared at Buffy."Don't push it, Slayer. And yes, she can predict some of my moves. But she's old and slow now, so I could probably take her out."
Buffy smiled coldly."Not *my* Nana, Spike. Not when I'm around. But then she could-"
"Oh, no! What's Faith doing here?"Joyce said as she stopped the car. Startled, Buffy and Willow looked at her, alarmed.
"Faith? Where's Faith?"Buffy asked, alarmed. Joyce stared at her daughter. Then she pointed. Buffy stared at the places she was looking at, and grimaced.”And there are the leeches...wonderful.”
Willow's eyes then caught another moving figure.”It gets better, Buffy. Owen’s there by the next row of cars...”
Joyce groaned."And he's heading right towards the vamps! What kind of idiot did your father hire?"
"One that loves his job it seems. What's he doing visiting Dad now? Why now? Are you having a strange sense of deja vu, Will,"Buffy groaned as she shook her head.
"Yeah, except it's not the funeral home with dead bodies this time,"Willow grumbled. Spike chuckled, then started laughing.
"Think that I'd better stay here and enjoy the show,"he said as he sat back. Toodles, Slayer. Have fun!"
Buff glared at him, then looked at her mother and Willow."Mom, you take Owen to Dad. Willow, help her. I'll take out the vamps with Faith. Spike, you stay in the car."
*****
Lady Atherton nodded."Children. I don't know how many yet, but there will be children between you and Joyceln."
Giles smiled as he was lost in thought. "Children."
Lady Atherton sighed."Children, Rupert. And a problem with the children, Rupert."
Giles stared at her."A problem? With my children? What is it? Is it serious? Is there something wrong with them?"
"Not unless you count the fact that at least one of your children will have your nose and ears. And your taste for cotton and tweed,"Lady Atherton said blandly."And the fact that at least child of yours will be a Potential or the mother of a Potential."
Giles stared at her."What?"
"Rupert, you know as well as I, that as the Director of the Watcher's Council, you will be in contact with demons and all sorts of the paranormal,"Lady Atherton said as she looked at him. "Think about it, Rupert. The timing is yours."
Giles looked at Lady Atherton."And my future is already set? I cannot alter it?"
"Who can say? As I told Elizabeth, the future is always changing. By telling you this, I could have altered the future I predicted for you,"Lady Atherton said."That you will be on the Watcher's Council, I know. To be Director...that is still to be set. All I know is if you wish it, we can alter the schedule of you being on the Council. If you wish it. And I will help."
"And this...this was all that you wished to tell me, Lady Atherton?" Giles asked. His heart fell when he saw her smile grimly at him.
"That and two other things,"Lady Atherton conceded."The first is that you may call me Nana..."
"And the second...Nana?"Giles prompted. Nana Bethie smiled as she looked at him craftily.
"I wish to play poker with the demon, Whistler, is that at all possible?"Nana Bethie said."The last time I saw the annoying demon, it was thirty years ago and he shorted the pot by putting in a few fake ancient scrolls. And his name was Harbinger."
Giles stared at her, then cleared his throat."I'll...see what I can do, Nana."
"Good. You may find him at the Bronze in an hour or so. With Angel and Oz,"she said with satisfaction. Then she frowned."Oh, dear. Scratch that. They'll all be found at the hospital. Oh my. Fighting leeches. And meeting Thurman...with Elizabeth."
"Oh dear,"Giles said as he pushed his glasses back up."I think that I had better go."
Nana Bethie rose from her seat."And so shall I. I don't want to miss any of the action. Tell, me Rupert, is this Angel the Ensouled Vampire of Elizabeth's a violent sort of fellow?"
*****
While Willow and Buffy's mother made it quickly across the parking lot towards Owen, Buffy darted her way between the cars towards Faith.
"Hey! Faith!"Buffy called out softly. Faith spun quickly around and saw her friend. Buffy joined her."What are you doing here? I thought that I was guarding the shipment of meals-on-wheels?"
"You were, until I overheard that the vamps were discussing the bright idea of going to get some extra take out by raiding the recovery ward,"Faith said with a shrug."So what's the sitch? Where's your Mom and Willow?"
"Distracting Owen. Swear that the boy has the worst possible timing,"Buffy said as she scoped the vampires."Last time he was nearly killed in the funeral home on our first date. So how you want to do this?"
Faith shrugged."Scissor, paper, rock? Winner gets first pick?"
Buffy shrugged and threw out her hand. Faith threw out hers, and crowed with delight."Paper! Yay! I win! I'll take the vamps on the right!"
*****
As Oz made his way from down the stage to a bored looking Angel, he sighed. Then he brightened when he saw the other demon that was going to be a groomsman by the side exit."Hey, Whistler? How's tricks?"
Whistler greeted the young werewolf."Hey, Wolf-boy. Nice hair, see that you're going for a suave look. The orange streaks in brown looks good. You plan anything for our perky friend's last single party yet?"
"Nope. Though I have had clear threats that any strip club is not allowed,"Oz said as he and Whistler weaved their way through the crowd towards Angel."And word of warning, when was the last time you spoke to him?"
"When he told me about getting the unbreakable shakles with our blonde bombshell, why?"Whistler frowned. Oz rolled his eyes.
"You'll know soon enough. Just don't mention the words promises, Buffy, Owen Thurman, Hank Summers and Nana Bethie around him,"Oz quietly cautioned. Then he thought a bit."Or anything sex-related. Which is just about everything."
Whistler shrugged."Fine by me. Though why he doesn't want to talk about the bombshell is a bit odd for me to get. Anyway, there's some action going on tonight."
Whistler nodded a greeting to Angel."Hospital. Blood raid. Kinda important. Some bright-eyed vamps want to get some troublemaker in there."
Angel jumped off from his chair."Hospital? Blood raid? Oh man! That's where Buffy's son-of-bitch pain in the ass father is! Oz? Done for the night? Good. Let's go, Whistler, you can fill us in the details on the way. Can't believe how that idiot's interfering with my life! And I’m not even his son-in-law yet!"
Whistler looked at Oz."Mind telling me why Sunshine is all so riled up about?"
Oz just rolled his eyes."It all started just before the wedding rehersal that you missed. And it went down hill from there..."
*****
As Buffy and Faith fought with the vamps, Joyce and Willow tried to lead Owen to the otherside of the hospital. Away from where the Slayers were fighting.
“So, Owen, wasn’t it?”Joyce said brightly.”What are you doing here at this time of night?”
“Oh, I’m here to see how Mr.S is doing. Seeing how he’s supposed to get some bed rest, he wanted me to bring him some papers to sign,”Owen said, then turned with a frown.”You hear that? Sounds like someone fighting.”
“Nope. Heard not a thing,”Willow said quickly.”Not at all. So, has Sunnydale changed since you moved? Is it *so* like the same? How’s working for Mr.Summers?”
Owen looked at Willow a bit puzzled.”Yeah, it’s kinds the same. Lots of stores now. More houses. What was that?”
“What was what?”Joyce squeaked. Then she forced her voice to turn normal. It was only a few more feet until they entered the hospital.”I thought that Hank was on vacation?”
Owen shrugged.“Oh, he is. But the papers that he had to sign this morning takes top priority, and the ones I’m bringing to him right now are just as important. Now, I’m sure that I heard something! Over there, by the loading bay...”
Willow and Joyce looked at each other helplessly as they followed Owen towards the fighting.
Owen ran towards the sounds and he saw two girls fighting quite well against six assailants. When he took a second glance, he saw that he knew one of them.”Buffy!”
Distracted, Buffy looked to where see who called her name. The vampire she was fighting took advantage of her distraction by backhanding her. Owen tackled the vampire, and the two rolled on the ground, clawing each other.
The vampire finally punched Owen in the jaw, knocking him out. As the vampire lunged for the boy’s neck, Faith yanked the vampire off of Owen, then plunged her stake in him. She then spin to attack another vampire.
Buffy quickly got up on her feet when she was tackled by another vampire. Dazed, she could only watch wide-eyed as the vampire lunged towards her neck, then turn to dust. Blinking, Buffy saw a familiar face holding a stake, then grinned.”Hi, Mom!”
“Buffy, are we done now?”Joyce panted as Buffy got up. Buffy saw Willow distract a vampire from attacking Faith by throwing ice cubes from the ice chest the blood was stored in. Owen was still down. And saw three vampires about to attack her.
“We’ll be done in a minute, Mom,”Buffy said as she barrelled into the attacking vampire. Joyce followed her daughter into the melee after she took out her holy water spray gun and started spraying the vampires that were attacking her daughter and friends.
Joyce never saw the dazed vampire getting up off the ground from between the row of cars behind her.
*****
“Hurry, Rupert! Hurry! Something’s going to happen, hurry!”Nana Bethie urged as she scanned the dark streets. Giles made no comment, but he felt Lady Atherton’s urgency. One does not argue with a person than can foretell the future. Especially when there is a desperate edge to their voice.
Giles and Nana Bethie sped into the parking lot in time to see the fight near it’s end.
“Oh, good. It seems to be almost over,”Giles said with some amount of satisfaction.”And Angel and the others-”
“NO! JOYCELN!” Nana Bethie screamed as she grabbed the dashboard. As Giles screeched the car to a stop, and Nana Bethie flung herself out of the car, running towards the fight. Giles broke out into a run after her.
“JOYCELN! RUN! JOYCELN!”
*****
Joyce turned to see her nana and husband run towards her when she felt a cold hand squeeze her neck. As she started to choke, she saw the hideous smile of a vampire loom over her, then over at her daughter.”Slayer! Look who I have!”
Buffy stopped to look at the vampire grinning at her, holding her mother by her throat.”Faith! Willow! Stop!”
Faith and Willow stopped pummeling the last vampire when they saw Joyce being held by the vampire. They stepped closer to Buffy, and turned when they saw Giles and Nana Bethie come up, both panting, beside them.”Let her go, Daniel.”
The vampire looked at the small old woman before him, smiling at him coldly.”Who the hell are you?”
“I am the Finder. And I see your death,”Nana Bethie intoned. Daniel the vampire stared at her.”It will be painful. Do yourself a favor, and let her go. If you do, your death will be quick.”
Buffy looked from her Nana to the vampire hard.”Let her go. You have no idea who you’re dealing with.”
The vampire merely grinned at her and tightened his hold on Joyce’s neck.”You don’t know who *you’re* dealing with, Slayer! I am Daniel! Going to be the new Master of these parts! I am going to kill you and I will be known as Master Slayer! I-”
“Will have to shut up before I get a headache,”Spike said from behind the vampire as he plowed his fist into the vampire’s face. Stunned, the vampire let Joyce go, dropping her on to the ground, coughing. Spike threw another fist at the stunned vampire knocking him down, then he picked him up, growling into Daniel’s very pale face.”You *DO NOT* threaten the Slayer’s Mother, got that, peaches?”
Daniel merely nodded as Spike grinned at him, then without looking, threw him at the Slayer.”Someone take care of this gutless idiot.”
His game face receding as Spike bent down to look at Joyce, he vaguely heard the sounds of Daniel getting beaten up.”You all right, Mum? Did the ninny hurt you alot? Want me to torture him?”
Joyce shook her head as she forced air into her lungs.”No. I’m fine, Liam. I-”
“Joyce! Are you all right?”Giles panted as he knelt beside his wife, pulling her close to him.”Oh, God! When Lady Atherton screamed-I-”
Buffy ran towards her mother.”Mom? You okay? Did the vamp-”
“I’m fine, honey. Just a bit winded,”Joyce said as she looked at the concerned faces around her.”I’m fine. Really. Ow!”
Giles looked at her with no little concern.”What is it?”
“My ankle. Ow!”Joyce gasped as she leaned more into Giles’s arms. ”It hurts. I think I twisted it.”
After Spike took of his trechcoat and wrapped her in it, Giles lifted his protesting wife in his arms. Then he heard a groan and saw Owen getting up off the ground.”Buffy! Tend to Owen. Faith, the blood delivery. Joyce, do be quiet, you have given me quite a scare. We are going inside the hospital.”
As Giles strode towards the hospital, Buffy ran towards Owen as he stood, but swayed dangerously.”Owen! Are you all right?”
Owen touched his head gingerly as he tried to focus his brown eyes on her. ”Yeah, ow! I see that you still get into fights, Buffy. Not much has changed since high school.”
“Yeah, well, you know the old saying,”Buffy smiled at him, a little stung.”The more things change...”
“The more things stay the same,”Owen concluded.”Guess it’s true ‘cause I still think you’re the prettiest girl that I ever met. My head hurts...”
“Let’s, ah, get you too the doctor,”Willow said quickly as she lead Owen towards the hospital.”Luckily most of those thugs ran when they saw you coming...”
“Yeah. I guess. Were they wearing masks?”
As Willow left with Owen, Nana Bethie placed her hand on Buffy’s shoulder. Buffy looked at her great-grandmother and smiled sadly.”I guess I’ll always be remembered as Trouble Girl, Nana.”
“And more, Elizabeth,”Nana Bethie said gently.”To him, you are, as the song says, unforgettable. But enough of this maudlin drivel, let us see your father. He was going to be a target for this attack.”
“Oh, no,”Buffy groaned.”Now I have to make sure that he’s not attacked until he gets back to L.A.? Wonderful.”
Faith looked at her friend and grinned.”Look at it this way, Buff, looks like you’re going to spend more quality time with your dad, and Angel’s going to be getting drunk and jerking off by his lonesome a bit more until the wedding. Then again, he might be doing it with Ripper, Whistler, Wolvie and Xandman.”
Nana Bethie looked at Faith with a bland face.“A drunken all male orgy. How nice.”
Buffy and Faith blushed.
*****
Angel was muttering to himself as he sat next to Oz.”Can’t this van go any faster?”
Oz looked at the spedometer. He was going seventy. He pressed on the gas pedal more.”Any faster and you’re paying the ticket.”
Angel shot his best man a look.”Fine, but if Buffy’s dad is sucked dry, you explain to her why we were late in saving him.”
Whistler clipped his nails, then looked at Angel.”Why you so intent on going to the hospital to save this guy, Sunshine? You really want a father-in-law?”
Angel glared at Whistler.”No, but I want to get on Buffy’s good side. She was really pissed when I accidently broke her dad’s jaw, not *really* a good way to start a marriage. Having your bride pissed at you and her dad hating you.”
“And his wanting a different husband for the bride doesn’t engender instant family love,”Oz said as he pulled into the hospital parking lot. Ignoring Angel’s glare, he scanned the area.”Man! Looks like there was a fight. Look! There’s Faith!”
“Be still my heart,”Whistler said as jumped out of the van and looked at the other Slayer.”The Bountiful Bust of Slayerhood is back in Sunnydale. Hel~lo Faith!”
“Yo, Whistler. Here to help or hinder? But then again, Buff and I already dusted and saved the meal,”Faith said as she hefted an ice box into the van. She turned and took in the demon’s bowler, orange and fuschia Hawaiian shirt, leather jacket, and purple jeans.”You mug a clown lately?”
“Faith! Where’s Buffy and her dad?”Angel barked. Faith looked at Angel and smiled innocently.
“The G’s, Nana and Willow are seeing Mr.S. But Buff’s not there. She’s in the emergency ward with Owen. He was knocked down by some vamps. She giving him some TLC,”Faith said. Angel stared at her and then broke into the hospital with a run. She looked at Oz.”Hey, Oz, wanna make another bet?”
Oz shook his head.”Nope. You won the last one.”
“What’s the bet, sweetheart?”Whistler asked.”I missed out on the last one.”
“Wanna bet that Angel’s going to clock Owen before the wedding?”
Whistler shook his head.”Nope. Too easy. Boy’s ready to pounce on anything because he’s not getting some. That’s why the vamps were here, they finally figured out that when the Bombshell’s dad is here, Precious and the Bookman goes on a killing spree.”
Faith shrugged.”Oh, well. We’ll think of something to keep him safe. Let’s go in before-”
A holler filled the night sky as the trip looked at each other and broke into a dead run to the hospital.
*****
Owen smiled at Buffy as she slowly led him out of the emergency room.”Thanks for staying with me, Buffy. I really-”
Buffy waved off the apology.”No biggie, Owen. You were trying to help me help my friend. Strange that those thugs thought she was holding something valuable in those ice chests. Very brave of you, Owen.”
“Yeah, I try to be,”Owen said as he smiled at her. Buffy’s smile faltered, then she looked away.”Sorry. I didn’t mean to stare. It’s just that...well. I’m not stupid, Buffy.”
“I never said that you were,”Buffy said quickly.”And why would I call you stupid about?”
Owen rubbed his head sheepishly,”I know I’m not the best looking guy around. Or that I should think that you’re availible, especially that you’re getting married so soon. And I know that your dad likes me. But once in a while, I keep wondering, think that there could’ve been an ‘us’ in high school?”
Stunned, Buffy stared at him.“Well, I-”
“Buffy! Buffy Summers!”shouted a voice. Buffy and Owen turned to look at a dark haired man coming towards them. Buffy’s hazel eyes widened as she recognized him.
“Scott!”Buffy said faintly.”Scott! What are you doing here?”
Scott looked at her and smiled.”I was visiting my uncle. He broke his leg and I was just leaving when I thought I saw you. So I came over. You look great, Buffy. It’s been eons. How-”
“You know Buffy,”Owen asked increduously as he looked at the Scott guy.”I know Buffy too. From high school.”
“So do I,”Scott said as he smiled at her.”We dated for about a month in our senior year. So how-”
“Buffy! Ready to go-oh, hi Scott!”Willow said weakly. She was followed by Buffy’s mother, Giles, Spike and Nana Bethie.”Your dad’s asleep. The nurse says that he can come home tomorrow morning at about ten.”
Buffy smiled at Willow as she approached her.”Great. Don’t you leave me, Will.”
“Hey, Will. Looking good. Hello Mr. Giles, Mrs. Summers,”Scott said.”Did you hurt yourself?”
“It’s Mrs. Giles now, Scott, and I just sprained my ankle,”Joyce said. She looked at her daughter.”It looks like an ex-boyfriend convention here. Are you ready to go, honey?”
Scott looked at Buffy.”If you’re ready to go home now, Buffy. I can drive you. We can catch up-”
Owen looked at Scott.”Buffy can come with me, I know her dad.”
Buffy stared at the two ex-boyfriend she had in high school with her jaw wide open. Spike hide a smirk as his hearing caught a familiar sound down the hall.
Nana Bethie blinked, then winced.”Oh, dear. I wish he wouldn’t have said that...”
“Guys, I think that I can go home. With my mom and Giles. But Owen, can you drive after that fall?”Buffy asked.
Owen touched his head.”Oh, it hurts, but I think that I’m fine. I think I can make it.”
Scott rolled his eyes.”Buffy why don’t you ride with Owen? and I’ll follow in my car. Then I can drive you home. I know it’s late, but I can see you home.”
Her mind furiously thinking of a way to turn his offer down, Buffy smiled at him cautiously.“That sounds great, Scott, but-”
“Buffy! Buffy Summers! You get over here, NOW!”Angel shouted as he came into the hallway where everyone was gathered. He had heard enough to know that he was pissed off. Buffy’s eyes widened as she saw Angel come towards her. He was holding on to his control by the barest thread.
Scott and Owen looked at the large handsome man coming towards Buffy. Owen stepped in front of Buffy.”Who the *hell* are you?”
Scott immediately stood beside Owen.”What do you want with her?”
Angel grabbed Owen by the shirt.”I’m Angel. Buffy’s fiancee.”
He threw Owen aside. Then picked up Scott’s shirt.”And I’m here to take her home. Got a problem with that?”
Angel didn’t wait for an answer as he looked down at Buffy.”And you’re coming back to where you belong. In my bed. And you father can go *hang* with that oath I took!”
Buffy stared at Angel, and let out a squeak as he swooped down and carried her over his shoulder. Pounding on his back, Buffy started shouting”Angel! Angel! Put me down! You put me down this instant, Angel Kiernan Sutherland! Angel!”
Spike grinned at the scene before him.”Looks like my sire’s finally having a bit of fun!”
Joyce looked at her husband. Then at her nana as she winced.”We have to stop him! Angel! Angel! Stop!”
“How do you propose that we stop a hormonally charged and enraged vamp-, fiancee?”Giles whispered furiously.
Angel ignored her cries as he started to stride to the exit. Buffy lifted her head and saw Owen and Scott start running towards her. To her supposed rescue. She took a deep breath, and grabbed the waist of Angel’s jeans.”Oh, God! I’m sorry, Angel. This is probably going to hurt you more than me. And I’ll probably pay for it.”
Then she yanked at his jeans with all her might, and Angel stumbled to the ground with a holler as he felt a sharp pull at the front of his jeans and up his butt. Buffy gracefully rolled away from him as Faith, Oz and Whistler burst through the doors.
“What happened?”Faith shouted as she saw Buffy standing over a fallen Angel who was cupping his delicate part as well as trying to shove his hand under himself.”Why’s Angel feeling himself?”
“I can’t believe you did that!”Angel roared. Buffy winced at his furious tone.
Buffy blushed furiously then glared at Spike who was howling with laughter.”I’m sorry, honey, but-Shut UP, Spike!”
“He was trying to take Buffy away over his shoulder, but she didn’t want to go!”Owen said to Faith.”So Buffy-she-she”
“She what?”Whistler demanded as he looked at Angel who was still glaring at Buffy furiously.”What happened?”
“So she gave the panser a wedgie!”Spike howled again as he clutched his stomach.
~Fin.
