Covered
DEDICATED TO: Sandy. She wanted a chocolate...well, you'll see. And I added a...well, you'll see. AND I’m giving Sandy full rights to whom she wants to give this story, so if you want it, ask her.
Summary: Involves the oldest members of the Scooby gang and candy.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Joyce sat at the counter as she slowly sipped her coffee. It was a strange night. And it was going to be one of, if not the most, embarrassing night of her life. To say the very least.
"Hey, Mom. Everything all right?"Buffy asked as she sat next to her.”Is there any more coffee?”
Joyce looked at her daughter and gave her a slight smile."I'm not so sure that everything will be all right ever again. And no, no more coffee for you. You won’t get any sleep tonight if you have anymore."
“Like I’m really gonna bail out on you right now,”Buffy snorted delicately.”And leave you alone with the two of them!”
Joyce sighed as she sipped her coffee.”You might as well. I don’t see how they’ll take it if you’re here as well. And I still can’t believe that this actually happened. And I was there!”
Buffy smiled weakly at her mother."It's not that bad, considering. We got off kinda easy. Relatively speaking. Oh, I hear the doorbell. Hope that it’s Willow."
Joyce shook her head as she sipped her coffee again. It was definitely a strange night, she decided as her daughter greeted Willow.
“Whew!”Willow said breathlessly as she plopped the bag on the counter.”I got a scrubber-thing, couple of loofah and some of that body shampoo at the all night market. And I got the tee shirts, cotton skirts and jeans your Mom wanted. Now do you want to tell what you need this for?”
Joyce grabbed the bag and headed upstairs.”Buffy will fill you in. I’m going off to soap the sleeping lions. Honey, remind me the next time we decide to give in to the cavity urge, we don’t.”
Again, Buffy smiled weakly at her mother’s disappearing back.”Got it, Mom. And thanks, Mom.”
“Well? What happened?”Willow demanded as she sat at the counter.”Why are we in Giles’s apartment? And what happened to make your mom so rattled? Where’s Giles? What’s going on?”
Buffy winced.”Well, Giles is sort of, upstairs. Kind of. As to what went on...”
“What do you mean that Giles is ‘kinda upstairs’?”Willow demanded of her best friend.”He is or he isn’t. And what’s your mom doing upstairs? Why did you need the stuff?”
“Well, we kinda ran out of the stuff after Wesley. Giles didn’t have the stuff we needed,”Buffy admitted, red-faced. “And she need way more for Giles.”
“More for Giles for what,”Willow asked, her face blank.”What do you need a scrubber, loofah, body shampoo, tee shirts, cotton skirts and jeans for?”
Buffy winced again.”Mom’s kinda giving Giles and Wes a scrubbing bath.”
“WHAT?!?!”Willow yelped.”Your MOM’S WHAT?”
Red-faced, Buffy made frantic quiet motions.”Willow! They’re sort of knocked out! We DON’T want them to fully wake up until AFTER Mom is done!”
“WHAT?!?”Willow yelped again. At Buffy’s scowled, she immediately lowered her voice.”Buffy, what happened?”
Buffy looked at the stairs, then looked at her friend.”Well, it all started when Mom and I had an urge to go get some candy...”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“I really don’t think that they’re still open, honey,”said Joyce stopped the car in front of Sunnydale’s newest store, Sweet Haven.
Buffy rolled her eyes as they got out of the car.”Mom, they have to be still open. It’s only seven o’clock. And the ad says that they close at eight. Think chocolate covered strawberries, pineapples. Pretzels. Marzipan.”
“Cavities. Trip to the dentist, root canal,”Joyce finished as she came to meet Buffy on the curb. Buffy gave her mother an exasperated loook.”What? I can’t be a mom and let you do this deed without me saying something. Might revoke my Mom Club card. Never leave home without it.”
“Whatever,”Buffy said as she pointed to the store.”Looks like that they’re still open. Damn, there goes the phone.”
Eyeing the cell phone with a nasty eye, Joyce sighed as she waited for her daughter to finish talking to, according to her daughter, Wesley the Wonder Wimp.
Buffy scowled at the phone. “Yeah, Wes. I know that I have to patrol tonight. I know that I have to train afterwards, but didn’t Giles tell you-”
Buffy sighed as she heard Wes go into his low-pitched sniff of disdain.”I know who my *official* Watcher is, Wes. And personally? I don’t care what he says. I am going to Sweet Haven with my mother and I am going to ENJOY myself before I go patrolling, so there!”
Amused by her daughter’s actions and knowing that she should admonish her child for speaking like that to Mr. Wyndham-Pryce, Joyce clucked her tongue.”Buffy-”
“I know. I know. But it’s hard to be nice to somebody that demands that you jump through every loop just because he says so,”Buffy grumbled.”Can you put this in your pockets? It’s heavy.”
Joyce took the phone and put it inside her jacket pocket.”It wasn’t before. Now, Buffy I know it’s hard to be nice to Mr.Wyndham-Pryce, but-”
”Why are you on his side of the argument? I thought you didn’t like the wimp. Especially after you decked him,”Buffy interrupted.
“That has nothing to do with your being disrespectful to the man,”Joyce sighed.”And I did apologize to him.”
Buffy slid her mother an amused glance.”Only *after* you cooled down. Three weeks later. Then decked him again.”
As they entered the store, Joyce winced.”I have no idea what came over me that second time.”
“I do. It was his annoying attitude,”Buffy quipped as she took a deep breath in the store.”Ohh, smells great in here. Chocolate-like.”
“That it does,”Joyce said as she took in a deep breath also.”It reminds me of the factory that made...or not.”
Buffy turned to look at her mother, puzzled.”The factory? What factory?”
“The Willie-Wonka Chocolate factory. What factory did you think I was talking about?”Joyce coughed, her face turning slightly red.”Look at these cakes and cookies here!”
As Buffy turned to look at them, Joyce let out a small sigh of relief. She was NOT about to remember what happened the night she became a teenager because of some magically tainted chocolate.”I wonder where the sales people are?”
Buffy shrugged as she all but drooled over the chocolate covered strawberries, pretzels, pineapples, apricots and almonds.“I dunno. Mom? Can we get some of these? And those? And that? And-”
“We’ll get a little of each,”Joyce promised as she scanned the store.”Hello? Is there anyone here?”
Buffy turned when she heard a small crash in the back room. She rushed over to the back, and then saw stars.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wide-eyed, Willow stared at her friend.”Someone actually *attacked* you in Sweet Haven? Why?”
Buffy took a sip of her mother’s coffee.”Well...”
Joyce popped her head down from the second floor and threw a pile of assorted clothes down.”Buffy, these are washables. Go wash them, please.”
Willow followed as Buffy hurried over to pick up the clothes.“So then what happened? Is that Giles’s underwear?”
Buffy grimaced as she held the pile of clothing away from her.”God, I hope not. I can’t imagine him wearing black-and-pink-striped Marty the Martian silk boxers. But funny how I can see Wesley in them.”
“Going into badness, Buffy,”Willow said with a grimace.”Now what happened after you were knocked out?”
Buffy made another face. “Well, Mom said...”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Joyce stared at a small-grey bearded man and the vampires that held her captive and her daughter tied up in a chair.”What are you doing here? What’s going on? Who are you? What do you want with us?”
The small-grey-bearded man grinned at her.“Hello! I’m George. I own this joint. And you’re my guinea pigs.”
Joyce stared at George who was grinning at her madly.”What?”
“I’m George. I own this place. You’re my guinea pigs,”George said slowly.”What part of that don’t you understand?”
“The part about being your guinea pigs,”Joyce said flatly as she shoved her hands into her pockets, and felt for the cell phone that Buffy gave her earlier. Praying that she was hitting the correct buttons and that she was reaching Giles and not Wesley, Joyce glared at George as she stepped closer to him.”What do you and *your vampire friends* want with *Buffy* and me? Why are *we guinea pigs*?”
George looked at her thoughtfully.“Because every great chef needs guinea pigs. Even a candy chef like me. And besides, vampires have lousy taste buds when it comes to candy. But they do like chocolate.”
“You need me and my daughter to taste your candy for you?”Joyce stared, increduous.”Why?”
A blonde vampire behind her snorted at her.”Not taste the candy, taste the potions *for* the candy, lady.”
“Potions? What potions?”Joyce demanded angrily.”You’re planning to poison Sunnydale with your candy?”
As he lead the way to the kitchen in the back, George shook his head.”No, no, no. I plan to make money for me and Trick in Sunnydale. AND if we sell enough, we’re gonna go national!”
Joyce stared as George showed her his kitchen filled with baking equipment and other things she couldn’t recognize, but thought they belonged into a demented version of Frankenstein’s labratory.”Trick got the idea and I have to admit, I was intrigued by the idea. Candy that would sell because of magical potions! And I have potions galore! And now I have you to test my potions on!”
“Potions for what?”Joyce demanded as she stared George.
George grinned at her as he pointed to several rows of colored liquids.”Well, those potions are to make children buy more candy while the ones there become more obedient. Those there are to make adults feel, you know, like aphrodisiacs. The others there induce sleep. Some make you feel more awake. Others are supposed to make you spend more money. And the best ones, my pride and joy, are supposed to make people drop and go at it like bunnies, if you know what I mean. Oh, my caramel and chocolates are almost ready!”
“If you know what the potions do, *why* do you need guinea pigs?”Joyce demanded as George ran over to stir at his large double burner pots. He added a healthy dose of red liquid to one pot, then a clear liquid to another.
Another black-haired vampire snorted.”Because the Goof-ball George can’t remember which potion does what.”
“AND they seem to affect adults in only large doses, and teens and kids in small ones,”a red-headed vampire laughed.”BUT HE CAN’T REMEMBER THE DOSES, the dumb ass!”
Joyce coughed as she saw George’s angry expression.”I see.”
“Does an artiste wonder what color effects his work? No! Does a write wonder what words to use when he writes the great novel? *No*! Does a master chef wonder what happens when he creates a great dish? NO!”George shouted as he glared at the vampires.”No! No! A thousand times no!”
The red-headed vampire snarled at George.”Does dumb ass George have to worry about what Trick is going to do to him if he doesn’t produce? HELL YES!”
The red-headed vampire turned to face Joyce again.”THAT’S why you and the Slayer are the guinea pigs!”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“So, this George guy wanted you to be his guinea pigs for his candy?”Willow stared at her.”That is just so-so-so weird!”
Buffy nodded.”Tell me about it, Will. I’m used to be hunted for sport, not for guinea pigs.”
“So then what happened? Why is your mom upstairs giving Giles and the Wonder Wimp a bath?”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“All right. This is *enough* Joyce,”Joyce said aloud as she looked at the white ceiling.”You didn’t have much trouble scrubbing the Wonder Wimp down, so why are you having alot of trouble doing this man? It should be easier since you had sex with him before. It was only sex. He probably doesn’t even think about it.”
As she held the loofah at his muscular chest, Joyce took a deep breath and then started to scrub again.”Stop caressing the man’s chest, Joyce and scrub. And hope to got that the candy won’t wear off until after he’s done with the bath. Please, don’t wake up. Please, don’t wake up. Please, if there is a God in heaven, *don’t wake up*!”
“Why not?”asked a groggy voice. The blue hazel eyes tried to focus on the blurry image.”Joyce? Is that you? What are you doing in my bath?”
“I’ve been wondering about that myself,”Joyce joked grimly as her face turned red. She looked into his eyes.”Um, can you understand me? Are you in pain?”
Giles winced as he tried to touch his head.“My head hurts. And I feel..wet. Why am I wet? Why are there bubbles on my chest? And why am I wearing a green skirt?”
“I guess you’re fine if you’re asking all these questions. You’re wet and wearing a skirt because I’m giving you a bubble bath and trying to protect your modesty,” Joyce said, her face redder as she lifted his arm and used the loofah to scrub at it.”I promise I won’t look under the skirt. Now stay still.”
“Is this a dream?”Giles demanded as he closed his eyes. He sighed as he grabbed Joyce’s hands and started to have them roam over his chest.”This has to be a dream. You’re not real. She wouldn’t even talk to me for months after we made love on the police car. Joyce wouldn’t come near me unless she had to come to the hospital. Wouldn’t even touch me. So this has to be a dream. A very nice and wet dream.”
Trying to ignore his ramblings and her growing urge to let him lead her hands to wherever, Joyce pulled her hands away and squirted some shampoo into her palm. She then started lather it into his hair.”Then this is a dream. Now close your eyes and dream.”
“Ohhh, that feels nice,”Giles moaned aloud as Joyce started to lather a bit more vigorously.”I like this dream. This is a nice dream. Joyce never used to do this in my dreams. She would just come and go, like a will-o’wisp in the night. Never talking to me, just disappear after we made love. We always have alot of sex...but never in the bath...”
Her face redder than before, Joyce stopped massaging Giles’s scalp as she heard him snore gently.”Ohhh, boy! This has to be the strangest night.”
As she leaned against the tub, Joyce closed her eyes and sighed as she remembered what happened earlier in the evening at Sweet Haven.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Buffy came to as she noticed several things. Her hands were bound behind her back. She was tied up in a chair in what looked like a kitchen and her mother was surrounded by three vamps and a strange little bearded man she called George.
“Potions will sell the candy,”George said stubbornly as he stirred something pink into another pot, then turned off the flames to the oven.”Now, all we have to do is wait for them to cool a bit before we can have you two try it.”
“George, you can’t do this! This is cheating!”her mother shouted at him.”You are NOT a great chef if you have to use potions to get people to buy your food! Especially candy!”
Pouring a clear liquid into one pot, George snorted at her.”What do you think most chefs use? Talent? They have none! It’s all about the stuff they put in their food!”
“NOT CANDY!”her mom shouted.”CANDY is all about the packaging and the marketing! And the knick knacks you find with the candy. NOT potions! If kids hate it, they won’t buy it! They don’t buy it, you still get eaten by vampires!”
George glared at Joyce.“I will NOT get eaten by vampires! Mr.Trick PROMISED me my own restaurant if I make his candy for him!”
Her mom crossed her arms.”And if you believe that, I have a Monet at my house I can sell you for five bucks.”
“Hey! Slayer’s awake,”shouted the blonde vampire. He started to untie her from the chair.”Have a nice nap, Slayer? Wanna have a bite?”
Buffy glared at the vampire.”Go chew on a stake, Fido.”
The vampire back-handed her so hard that she and the chair toppled over. As Buffy rolled away, she heard her mother scream and a vampire roar. Springing to her feet, Buffy was greeted to the surreal sight of seeing her mother yanking the vampire’s hair down to the floor.
“GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY DAUGHTER!”Joyce Summer shouted as she saw red when the vampire slapped her defenseless daughter. Somehow her hands were filled with that thing’s hair and she was yanking at it.
Buffy quickly sprung back to her feet and rammed into a black haired vampire that was headed towards her mother.”Mom! GET BACK!”
“Stop! Stop!”George shouted frantically as he waved his hands around watching the destruction going on in his kitchen.”STOP!”
Back-kicking the red-haired vampire, Buffy rammed into George just as Joyce was slapped by a black-haired vampire.”Shut up, George! Mom! RUN!”
The black vampire picked Joyce up from the floor and held her neck as he faced Buffy.”SLAYER! I’ve got your mother! Surrend-”
The two other vampires stared as the black haired vamp turned to dust. Sparing a smile at Giles holding the crossbow and Wes the cross, Buffy rammed into the red-haired vampire.”What took you guys so long?!”
“I didn’t know that we were expected to this party,”Giles panted as he helped Joyce up from the floor.”Are you all right, Joyce? Wesley! Go help Buffy!”
Joyce grabbed a cake and flung it at the vampires that were about to attack Buffy.“I’m fine. Buffy! You have to stay away from the potions on the counter!”
George ran towards Buffy and the two vampires and the man holding a cross.”My kitchen! My kitchen! You’re destroying my kitchen!”
After throwing several cakes and pies at the vampires converging on her daughter with her daughter’s ex-Watcher helping her, Joyce frantically turned to look at Giles,”Ripper! I mean, Giles,we have to-Look out!”
Giles turned to see two vampires enter the small kitchen, and started to frantically load the crossbow again.“Oh, damn! Joyce! Run!”
Giles fired the crossbow again, and promptly turned another vampire into dust as the other leapt, taking him down. Joyce screamed as she grabbed a heavy sauce pan and swung the pan down on the vampire’s head, knocking him out. Giles quickly rolled over and grabbed the crossbow again to reload it.
“You get your hands off that Slayer!”Wesley shouted as he grabbed a pot from the stove and overturned the contents onto the vampire, splattering some on himself. The vampire roared as he grabbed the pot from Wesley and then overturned it onto the young Watcher’s head and banged on it before he threw him aside. Then he turned and was promptly dusted by a bolt from Giles’s crossbow.
“My caramel! My caramel!”George screamed at he held his face in horror.
As the vampire banged on the pot that Wesley wore, Joyce grabbed a knife and ran towards her daughter to frantically cut at her bonds.
As Giles flung himself at the vampires attacking Buffy, Joyce frantically cut at her daughter’s ropes when she saw a vampire grab Giles, then throw him at the stove. Buffy screamed,”GILES!”
Joyce watched stunned as the other pot that George had put a potion in toppled and fell over onto Giles, covering him in melted chocolate.”RIPPER!”
“MY CHOCOLATE!”George screamed as he saw his melted chocolate fall over the older man. He grabbed a wooden spoon and ran scream towards a groggy vampire. ”You’re ruining my kitchen!”
The vampire that threw Giles swooped down and picked him up. As Giles gasped for air, he managed to swallow as healthy amount of chocolate.
The vampire growled and was about to bite the chocolate covered neck of the Watcher when he was blinded with a healthy squirt of whipped cream. Turning, he saw the Slayer’s mother wildly spray him in the eyes again with the white stuff. He roared as he dropped the Watcher and then promptly turned to dust as Buffy yanked out a wooden spoon from his chest.
Lying on the ground, Wesley yanked off the pot from his head.”Ohhh. my head is ringing. I hate caramel, but this tastes good.”
The groggy vampire grabbed George as he flung himself, then promptly broke the chef’s neck.”Trick says deals off, George.”
“Let’s go, boyo,”said the vampire as he flung George’s body onto the counter where the rows of colored liquids were, destroying them.”Next time, Slayer.”
Without a second glance, the remaining two vampires left the kitchen. Joyce helped pick Giles up from the floor as Wesley stood groggily up.”Are you two all right? You didn’t have much of the caramel or the chocolate did you?”
Buffy grinned when she looked at Giles and Wesley.”Look at you two! A caramel coated Wuss and a chocolate covered Giles with whipped cream! Enough to turn off my sweet tooth!”
Giles glared at Buffy through his chocolate covered head and whip creamed glasses,”Buffy...”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Hey, Mom? Is he decent? You need any help now?”Buffy asked through the closed door. Joyce looked down at the sleeping man in the tub, then walked over the door to let her in.
Her face red, Joyce looked a the two girls.“I’m done now, thank heavens. You both can help me move him to the bed.”
“Um, I don’t think we can fit him on the bed. Wes is in the middle of it,”Willow said hesitantly as she pointed at the younger Watcher sleeping soundly as he was, indeed, sleeping in the middle of the bed.
Joyce shot the sleeping man an exasperated look, then marched over to the bed and started to roll the man to one side of the bed.”I don’t believe the idiot. Of all the most stupid things for him to be...uh! It’s for him to be a bed hog! Wes, move!”
“I’ll be up later, nanny,”Wesley moaned in his sleep as he clutched a pillow. Willow giggled as she saw Wesley rub his face into the pillow as Joyce sighed.
“Let’s get Mr.Giles out of the tub,”Joyce said as she led the way and stepped into the tub, stepping over a wet skirt and towels.
Willow and Buffy’s mouth dropped as Joyce looked for a way to get the sleeping man up. Buffy yelped,”MOM! YOU PUT A SKIRT ON GILES?!?”
“Why did you think I asked for four of my cotton skirts? Would you rather have me see him naked?”Joyce retorted as she put her arms around Giles’s waist.
“But-but to see him in-in a-a skirt! A Yellow SKIRT!”Willow babbled in shock. Her mentor! Her TEACHER! GILES! In a *SKIRT*!
Joyce looked at the red faced girls.”If it helps knowing it, Wesley is wearing my pink skirt.”
“MOM!”Buffy cried in horror.”WESLEY’S WEARING A PINK SKIRT?!?”
”Would you rather see them naked?”Joyce countered, then suppressed a chuckle as they both frantically shook their head.”So then stop complaining and help me get them to bed. Buffy, you and Willow take his back as I pull him forward.”
“So how did they get to be knocked out?”Willow grunted as she tried to move Giles’s leg out of the tub.
“Will? Grab that towel, maybe we can get a better handle on him if we dry his back. Jeez, Giles, we’re gonna have to cut back the scones,”Buffy grunted as she tried to keep him from slipping.”It was like this...Mom! I’m losing him!”
“I got him!”Joyce said as she wrapped her arms around Giles’s waist. She grunted as she caught his full weight and started leaning backwards from it.”Move that right leg! And wrap that towel around his chest and pull!”
After much effort, the sleeping Giles was taken out of the tub. Willow grunted as she moved his leg again.”So, how were they knocked out again?”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“I think that we should leave now,”Wesley said as he wiped at his glasses, then he licked his fingers.”This caramel is quite tasty...”
Joyce looked at him in horror.”Wesley! No! It has the potion in it!”
Wesley’s eyes glazed over as he took a deep breath and started twirling around.”Oh, my! What a lovely kitchen! It smells so good! I just want to eat everything....”
“Mom? What’s happening?”Buffy shouted as she ducked Wesley’s outspread arms.
Joyce grabbed the heavy sauce pan again, ready to swing it as soon as she had the chance.”Buffy, stay away from him! George and the vampires said that the candy had potions in them to make them do things. The smallest amount would affect kids and teens, but large amounts to affect adults!”
“So he’s on a magic sugar high?”Buffy shouted as she was about to follow the whirling Wesley to the store front.
Joyce followed him with the sauce pan ready.”That’s as far as I can tell. Don’t touch the caramel or the chocolate on-oof!”
Joyce stumbled forward as she was tackled from behind by Giles who was splattering chocolate covered kisses over the back of her neck between words.“Joyce! You’re here! You’re safe! You taste so good! Let’s shag again!”
Buffy stared in shock as she saw Giles run his hands over her mother and splatter kisses all over her mother’s neck. Joyce Summers had a pained expression on her face and said,”Ohhh...This is going to hurt me more than it’ll hurt you. Just don’t hate me in the morning.”
Buffy grimaced as she saw her mother awkwardly swing the pan backwards, and then winced as the bottom of the pan connected with Giles’s forehead. Tearing her eyes from her fallen Watcher, Buffy looked at her chocolate smeared panting mother.”Mom? ‘Let’s shag again’? What was Giles talking about?”
“Got me on that. Had to be the chocolate. We have to get Wesley,”Joyce said quickly as she ran to the store front, armed with the sauce pan and her daughter following her.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“And after we knocked Wesley out, who was by the way, wolfing down all the baked goods in the store, we loaded the jeep up with the candy and destroyed the baked stuff, and brought George’s cooking recipes with us,”Buffy grunted as she adjusted her grip under Giles’s arms.”Mom? I hate to say this, but his butt is sagging. You might have to-”
“I got it,”Joyce said as she shifted the other leg to Willow, then moved to help carry the sagging body part in question. As they reached the bed, Joyce sighed.”Now, just throw him on the bed.”
“Throw him?”Willow grunted as she tried to get a better grip on Giles’s leg, but was slipping.”I don’t think that I can-”
“THROW HIM! NOW!”Buffy shouted as she practically flung the man onto the bed, with Willow and her mother helping her. As Giles landed on the bed, on his back, the females sighed with relief when the man gave one bounce, then stayed on the bed. Buffy wiped her forehead.”Can we go home now?”
“Let me just cover him up with a blanket or something,”Joyce said tiredly as she started towards the closet. “Then we can all get some shut eye.”
Buffy nodded as Willow looked at Giles, then her jaw dropped.”Uh, Buffy? Mrs.Summers? Was-was there something in the pockets of that skirt you wrapped him in?”
Holding the blanket to her chest, Joyce shook her head, then looked at Willow. ”Not that I know of. Why?”
Pointing fearfully, Willow made a face.“That’s not what I think it is. Is it?”
Her eyes following to where Willow was pointing, Joyce let out a loud gasp. She then unrolled the blanket quickly and started to cover the sleeping man as her daughter and Willow proceeded to have the ‘wiggins’. Buffy shook herself. ”Creepy! Giles doing that!”
Her face feeling extremely hot, Joyce quickly tucked the blanket around Giles as she gently tried to calm her daughter.“It’s not creepy, well, it’s a natural thing a man does, occasionally when he’s...when he’s sleeping. It was probably the chocolate. Or-oof!”
Willow and Buffy gaped when they saw Buffy’s mother suddenly lying on top of Giles, then was quickly under him when he rolled over, wrapping his arms around her waist, his face in her hair, and half his body over hers.”MOM!”
Gasping, Joyce tried to move from the harm arms that held her.”I’m all right. Let me just try to get out of here.”
As Joyce tried to wiggle out from Giles’s sleeping grasp, he merely tightened his grip on her, and murmured,”Joyce.”
“Mom? Is he letting you go?”Buffy asked as she tried to grab Giles’s arm again, but it just wouldn’t budge.”Giles? Can you let go of my mom?”
Joyce grimaced as he gripped her closer to him, she moved her head, but was stopped by Wesley’s shoulder.”Okay, I’m open to suggestions on how to get me out of here. Else I’m going to have to sleep like this tonight.”
Buffy glared at her mother.”How could you think that! You’re NOT sleeping with Giles tonight! HE has an erection!”
Joyce tried to glare at her daughter from over Giles’s shoulder.”Honey, that the man has an erection is the LEAST of my worries right now. Now, can you get him to let me go?”
“Can we slap him awake?”Buffy asked as she eyed her Watcher, her hand ready to do just that.
“NO! Don’t wake him up!”Joyce ordered as she tried to lift her head again.”I do NOT want him to be awake until I’m out of here!”
“Why?”Willow asked before she could think of it.
Buffy echoed the thought.”Yeah. Why don’t you want Giles awake?”
Joyce sighed.”Girls, think about it. On this night, I managed to: knock him out with a sauce pan, give him a BATH while being unconscious, make him WEAR a skirt while unconscious, get him to BED WITH WESLEY AND was not in time to PREVENT YOU TWO SEE him have an erection. Do you REALLY think that I want him awake right now? How upset do you think that he’ll be if you WAKE HIM UP?”
Buffy coughed.”I see your point. Will? Got any ideas?”
Willow shook her head frantically.”Other than you waking him up? No. Other than leaving your mom there until Giles lets her go.”
“LEAVE MY MOTHER ALONE IN GILES’S BED WHILE HE’S GOT A HARD ON?!? ARE YOU NUTS?!?”Buffy shouted, and was promptly shushed by her mother and friend. Then everyone froze as Wesley mumbled into the pillow he was hugging and Giles hugged Joyce closer.
Red-faced, Willow pointed out.”Well, she’s not alone in Giles’s bed. Wesley’s there, too, Buffy.”
Buffy stared at her friend as Willow turned redder. Joyce sighed.”Enough is enough. Buffy, get a blanket and sleep at the foot of the bed. Willow, you can join her if it’s too late for you. Let’s all get some sleep, and pray that we can all get out of here alive when these two wake up.”
“MOM!”
“Buffy. Not now. I’m tired. I’m sleepy. And I REALLY don’t want Giles to wake up before I can get out of this bed,”Joyce sighed as she closed her eyes.”I think I saw more blankets in the closet.”
Buffy grumbled as she stomped over to the closet.”THIS is *so* wiggy! My mother in bed with BOTH my Watchers!”
Joyce sighed as she tried to get comfortable, considering she was sandwiched between the two men.”It’s only a technicality, honey.”
“Just hope that he lets her go before either one of them wakes up,”Willow said as she helped spread the blanket at the foot of the bed. She then laid down next to Buffy.”I don’t want to be here when Giles wakes up next to Wesley and realizes that he has a skirt on.”
Joyce yawned.”Well, it could have been worse, girls. I could have put make up on them while they were sleeping.”
“Great. Watchers dressed in drag,”Buffy grumbled as she closed her eyes.”Like I really need that image, Mom. Thanks.”
“You welcome. Night, honey. Willow,”Joyce said as she fell asleep between the two sleeping Watchers.
~Fin