Today I am mourning the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense. Common Sense, a.k.a. "C.S.", lived a long life but died from heart failure at the brink of the millenium. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over C.S. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm, and life isn't always fair. C.S. lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids).
A veteran of the Industrial
Revolution, the Great Depression, and the technological revolution, C.S.
survived cultural and educational trends including feminism, body peircing,
whole language, and the "new math." But his health declined when
he became infected with the "If it Only Helps One Person It's Worth
It" virus. In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for
the ravages of overbearing federal regulation. He watched in pain as good
people became ruled by self seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. His
health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance
policies, resulting in reports of six year old boys charged with sexual
harrassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig
of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly
student.
Finally, C.S. lost his will
to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses,
criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck
their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports. As
the end neared, C.S. drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of
developments regarding questionable regulations for asbestos, low flow toilets,
"smart" guns,the nurturing of Prohibition laws, and mandatory
air bags. Finally, when told that the homeowner's association restricted
exterior furniture only to that which enhanced property values, he breathed
his last breath.
C.S. was preceded in death
by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility;
and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers, Rights, Tolerance,
and Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was
gone.
The Passing of Common Sense