I hate people who hate Football
Ok I would like to start off this weeks topic with a full roster of uninjured players and a front line that has not allowed a sack all year. Well a guy can wish can't he? Okay to begin I must say that this letter is not in anyway one that picks on just women. There are alot of women out there who like football (for reasons of their own I am sure) and there are also alot of guys out there who do not like it(although I havent met any). So now that I have made it clear that I am not picking on just women I will get to the heart of my grief. Why is it that you (you=football haters) can watch Days of our lives five hours a week, but when I want to sit down in front of the TV I am just another neanderthal trying to coach a game? Like you have never stood up at an exciting part of your soap opera and screamed for someone to kiss this person or to run out of the room or whatever you think they should do? At least my show is live and there might be a possibility they can hear me. Okay well maybe not, but it is the same principle: voicing an opinion. There are certain things that I have been able to accept like once a month for a week I will get no sex from my girlfriend. This week is not only awful for sex, but it really pays to watch football at someone elses house if possible. Although you will catch hell for it, but you will catch hell for everything, so if you are going to pay the price you might as well watch some football anyway. I accept this however and I always pray that on superbowl weekend she is not going to be posessed by Satan himself. Another thing that I accept is sappy love movies. I know that at lest once a month I will have to pay $50 to go eat dinner and watch the latest sappy love story that has invaded the box offices. Sometime I even enjoy these movies because in ever other one I get to see Sandra Bullock and she is pretty damn hot; and any of you women who say you don't go gaga over Bradd Spitt or Leonardo Decrapio are lying so I don't want to hear it.
Anyway if you FBH's could learn to accept the fact that we FBL's are going to do certain things then the world would a much more peaceful place. I Will rearrange the furniture to my liking on Sunday and Monday night, I Will order a pizza 4 hours in advance to make sure it is here on time, I Will have a remote in one hand and a beer in the other and finally, I Will coach the game from my Lazyboy because I do know what should be done in every situation and I can call the penalties better than the refs so deal with it. If ,and I mean this in the most respectful of ways, a FBH cannot keep their mouth shut they should leave the house. Leaving the room will not do because we will know you are there and it may distract us. So just go to a sappy love movie with your other FBH'er friends and let us FBL's enjoy our time of the week.
One thing to remember is the all hallowed superbowl weekend.You FBH's do not make plans to go out to a dinner party or go to a movie on this day of the year. We will not go, and if your birthday happens to fall on Superbowl Sunday, then get over the fact that we are not going to celebrate it on that day. Yes I know this sounds so unfair, how could a man, umm I mean a person want to watch football instead of celebrating a loved one's birthday? Well you have it all wrong it is not that we do not want to celebrate your birthday we really do want to, it is just that the Superbowl will not wait and you can. Imagine this nightmare: Your girlfriend is turning 21 on Superbowl Sunday and she happens to be on the rag and your boss has called you telling you he needs you to work. Well you were not only stupid enough to have a girlfriend with a birthday that could ever have a chance of falling on that day, you decided to ask her to go with you on her special day 3 years earlier. So now you have a birthday, work, the dreaded rag, and an anniversary to contend with. Belive it or not this happened to a friend of mine and later that night we were both in front of the TV watching the Denver Broncos lose to the ********(team not mentioned cause I still have nightmares of that day) in one of the worst moments of both our lives. Of course he had to go home after the game, but thats another story.
So in summary: Football will be watched by football lovers and there ain't nothing you can do about it!!!!
If you have any comments or would just like to yell at me for being me, email me below by clicking on the spinning football.
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