Well as much as I would like to gripe about the ingredients in Spam:
Pork and Ham
Mechanically Seperated Chicken
Water
Salt
Sugar
Sodium Phosphates
Sodium Ascorbate
Sodium Nitrite
That is not exactly the spam I am refering too. Yes I am talking about the unsolicited bulk mailed crap that hits our mailboxes by the megabytes. There are many programs out there that try to filter spam related letters from ever reaching our eyes, but they all seem to fall short of what is desired. What to do? Well do not waste your time on buying these filter programs, unless of course you find a very good one that doesnt filter out stuff that you do want also. I mean if you wanted you could just close your mailbox all together and never receive spam again. But like abstinence when it comes to sex that is just not a relistic choice. I say answer your spam mail. Yes I know I know you do not have time. Well I didnt mean every piece of spam you get, but just once in awhile respond to these jerks. If they do not have the capability to receive mail in response from you then screwem. Alot of them(just who is them?) will allow you to respond via email and that opens a door of a great "get it off your chest" moment. Send them one of the following responses editing it where needed:
Thank you so very kindly for your marketing masterpiece I am truly astounded by the wit of your advertising writer(s) and I plan to purchase your product just as soon as it becomes sensable for me to buy. I mean really what the hell do I want with a overpriced piece of crap that I could buy at Walmart for half the price? All I have to say to you is get a haircut and geta real freaking product and stop mailing your garbage to me. Thank you very much
Oh my god!!!!! you are so freaking crazy. I mean who do you think I am? My mother told me about you guys the other day and she said if you ever called upon me that I should call my doctor because you might want to take me away and peform really weird sexual experiments on my naked body. Please do not bother me again I know where you leave and my spaceship can reach there.
I got yer letter bout that thing y'all ar trying to sell and I don't reckon I would be liking to buy it right now cause Milly, thats ma's cow,is fixen ta squirt out a calf and all the money we have in Pa's old whiskey jar needs ta be going to Doc Bubba, thats our vet. Thank yew anywho and you all be having a purty day now ya here.
Oh man you really know what a guy needs. I mean just the way you formatted your advertisement turned my lights on down there, if you know what I mean wink wink. Please ohhhhhhh please send me more, I can take it baby. You make my geritol go woohooooo!!!!
Well these are just a few different approaches to those unsolicited spammers out there. I know it won't slow down the spam you get, but it sure makes me feel better laughing my damn ass off just thinking of someone reading it on the other end, and if nothing else you get to vent a little and "get it off your chest". If you have any good approaches or would like to comment on Spam please mail me through my spambox below. Please put Spam on the subject line of your mail...thanks. I will post the funniest comments right here for everyone to see. Remember don't hold it all in "Get it off you chest!!!
Spam related material
Spamtoon
Washington Post Article
Death to Spam
Articles on the more "accepatable" ways of dealing with Spam
A fun game where you hunt for spam hidden in a picture, I think this was made for rednecks LMAO
Spam Cam
...watch spam slowly decompose over the weeks..yummy!!
Comments from visitors
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