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FIRST AID - HAS THIS HAPPENED TO YOU?
You've been waiting 6 months for that XYB-199 to hit the shelves, and you finially have it. You've got the books, the decals, the paint, and you are ready to go to work. With a brand new x-acto knife in hand, you begin to scrape plastic...OOOPS...STAB!!! As my Dad would say, you begin to bleed like a stuck hog!
The blood starts gushing out of your thumb with every beat of your heart. You grit your teeth and pull the knife out of the bone in your thumb. Now what do you do? You immediately realize that if this had been one of your kids, your wife would have already called 911, and William Shatner would be banging on your front door. But that beautiful XYB-199 is staring you in the face, so a trip to the ER is out of the picture. You know there's a first aid kit in the bathroom. But, that would involve bringing to the attention of others in the house, your unsuccesful suicide attempt. Plus, the resulting attacks on your intelligence were not something you needed right now. So, being the mastermodeler that you are, capable of scratch building a cruise missile out of a chewed up straw and some stretched sprue, a quick scan of the hobby table is performed. Grabbing the all natural absorbent brush wiping and decal blotting sheet dispencer (toilet paper - TP), the self adhesive part retention and masking media (masking tape), and the Gunze paint thinner (alcohol), you begin to re-enact a scene right out of "Private Ryan".
Blood dripping from your thumb and straddling the trash can, you carefully pour $3.00 worth of Gunze thinner into your gaping open wound. Stiffling the urge to scream, you fight off blacking out long enough to run out five feet of TP. Doubled over, you begin to wind the TP around your still bleeding thumb. With each turn, you can feel the bleeding slow down, and the pain starts to subside. Your thumb is now firmly wound up and looks like a softball. Three feet of masking tape later, you are convinced that the wound is closed and the bleeding has been stopped. Good job, Florence Nightengale (you now vow to build a C-9A in her honor)! With all that blood loss, you begin to feel faint. You must replenish all those lost bodily fluids. So you sneek off to the fridge and grab a beer. Back at the murder sceen, you discover that your newly bandaged thumb is useless for opening a beer can. You struggle it open with your other thumb. You now pick up the blood covered x-acto knife and swizzle it around in the brush cleaner jar (Caution-we are dealing with bio-hazards here!) and wipe it off. You then replace the blade becouse you discovered that you broke the tip off in the bone. Nothing pisses you off more than when you break that end off! After you wipe the blood off the XYB-199 piece you started on an hour ago, you try the knife again. You can't use it with your bandaged hand and your other hand is totally uncontrollable. You begin to convince yourself that maybe a miracle has occured and the bleeding has stopped. You unwrap the tape...OK! Then you carefully begin to unwrap the TP. Looks good...looks good...OK! The bleeding has stopped! The incision dosn't look that bad and you decide to give it a try. WRONG! As soon as you grab that knife, the bleeding starts again and it looks like a "Halloween" movie. DAMN! You finially resign yourself to the fact that there will be nothing more done on the XYB-199 tonight. You finish off your beer and go up stairs with the rest of the crew to watch "The Crocodile Hunter" on Animal Channel. When asked what' s wrong just tell them, "Oh, I just thought I'd spend some quality time with you tonight."
Seriously though, keeping some band-aids and first aid cream by your work space. I know, it's happened to me.
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