Touring Joe and
Cyborg Command Central


This page, and those to follow, document the adventure of Touring Joe as he visited Vermont as part of his extended '99 Summer Tour. Accompanying Joe are Babs Dahl, recently of the Pink Aisle, and Sgt Bytit, complete with his Sunny Smile. Joe's host in Vermont was ScottE, HoloSuite@yahoo.com. 

Although our triumphant trio slammed the gate on another Troll incursion, celebration is premature. They have just enough time for some random thoughts and are thrown into another network generated alternate reality. The Trolls have turned technology against us yet again, but this time it's personal.

TJ:

Now where did those two go? I told them we needed to stay together. What were they thinking this time? There's no sign of Babs and Bytit, but looks like I'm not alone.

The Blonde Borg
9OUTOF10:

My designation is 9 out of 10, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 44DD. You may address me as 9. I am here in search of distinctive technology for potential assimilation.

Those are the biggest boo.. boo... Boot heels I've ever seen.

My observation of your gaze indicates that you have not yet looked at my boots. Your dilated pupils have remained directed to other areas. Your libido, however, is irrelavent. We have larger concerns.

Take my phaser and subdue the Ferengi-like creature you refer to as Troll. My arm articulation precludes my own use of the phaser. The Troll has stolen my communications module and is using it to alter local autonomic systems programming. While you reclaim the module, I will seek out the T5 cyborg he has compromised.




MIKE:

Oscar, I can't believe you gave me two right feet. What's with this hole in the top of my head, and why do I only have one atomic leg? What am I supposed to do? Hop really fast?

Mike and Oscar
OSCAR:

You're Mike Power, the first Atomic Man. What did you expect, bug free betas? Don't worry, you're still under your 90 day installation assistance plan. We've got a fix pack for you. Although you will have to pay the service deductible as specified in your support agreement.

While you're at it, can you do something about this neck? I look like a giraffe for Pete's sake. Set up the shop time, and I'll be back. I think I hear some equipment whining I want to check on in the hall.


BYTIT

Wowzers! The last thing I remember is thinking I could handle this alone if I was bionic. The next thing I know I show up here looking like a swiss army knife. I know I'm Sgt. Bytit, but I'm just not the man I used to be.

Quit your whining. Parts is Parts. Take it from somebody that knows. Be happy you got shoes. I didn't get any.

Inspector Bytit Atomic Man and the Inspector What Big Shoes You Have

I feel pieced together like some kind of fast food freebie toy. I'm not happy about it, either. Aren't I supposed to have two arms?

I Spy with My Atomic Eye, some trouble over there.
Fire up that copter and we'll go check it out.

Atomic Eye Spy GoGo Gadget Copter



BABS:

So this is what I get for thinking about being swept off my feet by a fully functional android.

T5:

HMMM! Nice Software.
Are you Plug-N-Play? Do you have a GUI?

T5 Admires Babs
9outof10

Release her. You are malfunctioning. You will be dissassembled.

9outof10 Confronts T5

T5 is ALIVE! Life is not malfunction. No Dissassemble!! No user servicable parts inside. Removal of sticker voids product warranty.

T5 Disgrees with 9

Never Fear. Bytit's Here.

Bytit Grapples with T5

Resistance IS FUTILE!

NOBODY touches The PINK PRINCESS without PERMISSION!!

Wait for me! This stupid slow motion special effect makes it hard to keep up!

Go Go Gadget, Squirt GUN!

Cyborg Pileup

For indoor use only! Do NOT IMMERSE!! Clean by wiping with a damp cloth only.

Let that be a lesson to you. Never underestimate the power of a dumb user.

Cyborg Pileup

some assembly___ re_quired.
_________batt_eries__ not_____ in__clu___dead....


Mike, your articulation is superior for such dated technology. We have much to learn from each other. We can make you faster, stronger, with tighter joints than before.

WOW! Nice comm badge, 9.

Mike Admires 9outof10



TJ:

Gotcha, you little pest. You won't be hijacking any more hardware in this neighborhood.






I've been able to use this terminal to tap into the comm system and contact Astral and Titanic in the lab.

Ask them if they've seen my other arm, would you?

Ready to Move On

Titanic here, team. You've cleared up another node in the matrix. The power surge through the interface was tremendous this time. Whatever you're doing, it's stirring things up in the network.

Bytit, looks like your arm went to sleep here in the tank. We're setting up some electroshock to restore the circulation. You should have feeling in your arm back soon.

Babs, are you feeling okay? Your heart is racing, and parts of you are looking a bit....chilled here in the lab.

Weird Science in the Lab

Chilled? No, actually I'm feeling a bit flushed right now. tee-hee.

Astral here. Titanic's juicing Bytit now. Based on Bytit's transformation we're convinced that your thoughts at the time of the leap can affect your form when you arrive. You ought to be able to make that work to your advantage. We've isolated the next access code. It doesn't sound good. The code is RED DEATH.


PREVIOUS NEXT

Vermont Tour Itinerary Page


Send your comments and suggestions to HoloSuite

Have you visited HoloSuite's GI Joe pages

Jump Back to HoloSuite's Main page

1