The Purple monstrasity and Fatbloke lunged at Deadlar as one. Barney was quickly dispatched with oone swift swipe of his power scourge, the Fat bloke was slowed by the AC rounds hitting him in his extremly enormous midsection. Alas but to no avail the shells were bounce off of the large amount of girth that the Fat Bloke carried. Is it possiable that the Fat one had become so on a diet of cheese? No! deadlar refused to belive so with the proof right in front of his eyes. "This man was once nondairy maybe he can be so again." with this decleration Deadlar brought his power Scourge down atop the Fat blokes head and with a mighty Twang the Fat bloke was rendered useless. As Mr. Sawyer sat around bubbling "No mom I don't wanna go to school yet." Deadlar went once again to begin his search for Longsword.

Deadlar

+++++++++

From a distance, Lord of Undeath watched the battle field. He saw many of his brothers charge to the fray, he grinned, as those poor fools fell he would raise them again to fight for him - there would be no rest.

Lord of Undeath

+++++++++

Thanos zipped up the fly to his power armor. Boy had this been a fun invasion. Never before had he had his way with an inflatible sheep. Especially, the sacred sheep of Johnson. Looking around, he saw the remains of his squads. KMFDM, Skrew and Pigface were completely wiped out, as well as the dreadnought, This Mortal Coil. "Niveck, who still lives?" asked the Sorcerror.

My Lord, only Ministry and The lords of Acid are active," came the reply.

"Hmm... Well, Deadlar opened the way. Let's make a good show of it," roared Thanos. With this, he put the remains of the sheep on one of his trophy spikes. As the Sorcerror and his retinue filed out the door, he caught a glimpse of a wytch bounding away. He marvelled at the size of her mouth. This was something he had to have.

"Captain Niveck," Thanos said, "Lead the men into battle. I'll be there shortly." He then fiddled with the knobs for his combat drugs(he had hidden it away so that the omnipotent johnson could not rewrite the rules for it). Feeling the surge of drugs flow into his system, he narrowed his gaze onto his target. In an instant, Thanos had zoomed across the room to be at the side of the wytch. She initially giggled when she saw the sheep on his spike. However, Thanos then pulled out some pics he downloaded from the internet. She stopped in her tracks.

Thanos of Titan

+++++++++++

Inquisitor Johnson knew he was beyond protocol. Assaults on the Squat planets were to be conducted by the shattering ramhead of the Scarlet Tears Marine Regiment. He was to be observiing high above the planet, but he enjoyed the wet work to stay away from it. He relished the in-close fighting. Nevertheless, this Regiment would see to his scalding retribution afterwards. The Tears were good enough for this work even though their chaplains would be disciplined for allowing the Primarch to exceed the esteem of the Tears beyond that due to the Emperor. He would have their ears. The Tears were primed and ready for this adventure though. Their last two battles were horrific bloodbaths against the unholy tyranids. He wanted to ride them hard against the Squats, to kill to birds with the same stone, winnow down the reserves of these red-armored madmen, and effect the Solution for the Swats. Eradication of the Squats was the primary mission. He laughed into the Comm set of his helmet. "What, Inquisitor?", asked the Devastator Squad Lieutenant, tasked with securing the zone around the Inquisitor. Few Squats were found on this Homeworld, very few. Most of them were dead, very dead. The Marine firepower and berzerk-like assaults tore the Homeworld defense forces to pieces. Once the Tears got their teeth in, they were not about to let go until they shook this Homeworld like a dead bloatrat in their jaws.

The Inquisitor's training caused him to hold down his Bolter's trigger, sending out a stream of shells into a close packed group of helmeted and bearded Squats making a run across the opening in the rubble in front of the Inquisitor. The Devastator's Heavy Bolters hammered the Squats who went rolling over like pins sawed in half in an alley of Twelvepin. The crunch of Inquisitor Jervis boots on the hardscrabble echoed in the gap. The Squats were down and fairly dead. The Inquisitor's power blade flicked blue as he snicked an ear off each Squat. He slipped each ear onto his beltring, thinking this has got to be the final lot on this abandonned Homeworld. He had expected crates of ears, not just this one ring. The Inquisitor's own ears pricked and his head went up. Static filled Comm Relay was pumped his way from the Dropship, via the Battle Barge's huge array. He recognized the callsign of the Terran transmitter, TA-C. The Glorious 559th Day of Ichor IV, his personal Battle Barge was piping a relay his way. "Curious", he thought. The message came in spurts. "...Code Omega, Code Omega, Code Omega." That was Terran Planetary alert! He tuned his receiver. More clearly through the static now, "...Code Omega-Point Nine." Point-Nine was emergency recall of outbound Terran regiments. "Wha...?", Inquisitor Johnson gasped. The Comm unit spewed on, "....thousands of Squat dropships....on Terra...Point Nine Recall..." The Devastator Lieutenant glanced curiously at the Inquisitor, who had fallen to his knees. The Inquisitor was vomiting into his faceplate.

Ramar (of the jungle)

+++++++++++

Divine Fury affixed yet another dripping decapitated head to his belt, and breathing heavily looked around the room. Bodies were everywhere, a couple of the sick pre-adolescants, quite a few of his prized Berzerkers, but mostly, 100s and 100s of these stinking rats. He recalled now how they had burst through that bulkhead, and the whole horde had come screaming up to them. The shooting only cut down a few, and 'hell we're always game for a fight' he grinned. It had lasted less than 10mins, but now there were only a handfull of his faithfull warriors with him.

Chain-axes (oooops, sorry guys: close combat weapons) at the ready, they approached the main chamber, the aroma of cheese was overpowering. Charging at the door Fury and his retinue crashed through it, to find standing there, with all his bodyguards, Old Git himself, Adrian Wood!

Fury stopped deadly still as he eyed his elderly opponent from across the room. Could this finally be an opponent worth facing? Scanning the green hordes he saw rank upon rank, and he knew now, they were more viscious in close combat, yes indeed this would be a fight!

HE lifted his chain axe, and looked round at his squad, yes they were ready to roll....

As he prepared to run he heard a faint noise:

-neek neek-

His heart skipped a beat, it must be his imagination

-neek neek-

Hadn't he killed them all...damn, their hunger for cheese was overpowering...the orks would have to wait, Khornes honour would errr, have to wait too, he was gonna bail... maybe now would be a good time to go find Thanos and those nice witch elves....and deadlar and despoiler....they'll no what to do about the rats, Khorne can wait, he needed backup......

SLaYeR

+++++++++++++

Siff comes up an e sez: "OI! yooze needz sum 'elp?" to da slaya fella and iz matez. But da rat fingies iz kummin too fast! e sez: "OI! deze rat fingies iz kummin to fasts!" And den e suddenly reelizez dat da bad guy iz cheetin, and cheetaz is dumb koz dey iz. So e liftz iz evvy shoota and trize ta shoot oles fru dem. All e reely duz iz makez a hole in da floor, and e uses it ta 'skape fru, and sez: "OI! slaya, duz ya wanta kum an 'skape too?

Sithspawn

++++++++++++

Lord Atraikius was finishing up his pep speach to his men about the horrors they would be facing, such as the mounds of cheese, the pre-adolesents, and all of the little furry critters, when he was interupted by his communications officer.

"My Lord, Warlord Grommul has arrived with his 'cruiser', he wants to know where the 'party' is sir."

"Inform him of our landing coordinates, and teleport down as much beer as we can spare. The beer, cheese, rat snacks, and fighting should keep those greenskins partying for a while."

Lord Atraikius quickly finished his speach; "This will be a terrible battle, but the victory party includes WITCH ELVES! Today we go not to pull the plug on the emporer throne, but on GW's computer system! PULL THE PLUG!"

With cheers of Pull the Plug!, and Wheres the Witch Elves!, the Serpents of Death boarded their dropships in order to bring their chaos to GW itself....

Robert Engvall

++++++++++++

Lord Atraikius stalked through the courtyard with his trusted lieutenant, Lord Zor, and his pet Venom. All around him was the carnage of battle, what could please his god more than the chaos of all the armies of 40K joining together and attacking thier creators stronghold. As Lord Atraikius and his guard approched the blasted entrance to the Fortress of Cheese, his ally Warlord Orkwun Grommul approched him.

"Ey big bad git, nice 'arty eh?"

With that said, Grommul took a big bite off the rat leg he was carrying, and washed it down with a bite of cheese, and a swig of beer.

"Dem ratboys 'ighty tasty, too fast for me boys though, 'ave to lead 'em to us wit bits o' cheese, hahahaha. Glad you asked us along, want some rat?"

Lord Atraikius politly turned Grummul down, and Grommul left chanting " 'er mousy mousy" while waving a piece of cheese around.

With a snort of humour at his insane ork allies actions, Lord Atraikius turned and headed inside to aid his companions in arms....

Robert Engvall

+++++++++++

Siff jumpded downz da 'ole wiffowt lookin ta see hoo woz followinn 'im. E ad jumpded downz ta da 'puter fingy. 'hmmmm, dis iz wot Robert sez ta pull wozznt it?' he fout to 'imself. E grabbd da big wire fingy and wif a wun, wiff a too, wiff a......um, lots!!! he pullz da plug finggie freed. A big big urty fing urt 'im. "OUCH" e sed. "dat urt!" E lookz aroundz ta see wot da big urty fing woz. "oh, no!" e sedz. "Oh yes!" sed da big urty fing. It woz da 'Fat Bloke' an e ad a big big urty urty nife and fork. "help meze!" siff showtedz. "DADADADADADA CROC IZ ERE!" sed da croc az e busted fru da floor. "Iz gunna save ya siff!" sedz da croc az e turnded ta face da fat wun. "you will die" sed Fat Bloke az e attakeded croc. "no, yooze will diez!" sed siff from iz hidey place behindz croc. Da croc and da fat wun fighted for long timez, but da croc finullee got da betta of da fat bloke. "oooooooh nooooo" sed da fat wun az e woz etten by da croc agenz! "see siff, I saved yooze" sed da croc "we kan get to da 'ulk dis way". "no, ya git" sed siff, "Robert sedz ta 'pull da plug fingie' so wez'l do it!" "k" sed croc. Siff wentz ova to da plug fingie and yanked out ov its 'ole. Nuffink append. "uhhh" sed croc. "uhhhh" sed siff. "wez'll put it in agen and pull it outs agen!" so e did, and nuffink append. Siff kikked da 'puter fingie. 'FFFFFFFFFZZZZZWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOWWWW' da 'puter makded funnee soundz and startzded ta burn. "yay, weze dunz it!" sed siff and croc.

Somewhere in the GW palace, a photocopier stopped working.

"WOOOHOO, WEZE BUSTED DA 'PUTER FINGIE BY PULLIN DA PLUGZEZ!" da orkses had a big partee dat nite.

DA ENDZEZ FOR NOWZ!

Sith,

+++++++++++

Lord Atraikius stalked through the courtyard with his trusted lieutenant, Lord Zor, and his pet Venom. All around him was the carnage of battle, what could please his god more than the chaos of all the armies of 40K joining together and attacking thier creators stronghold. As Lord Atraikius and his guard approched the blasted entrance to the Fortress of Cheese, his ally Warlord Orkwun Grommul approched him.

"Ey big bad git, nice 'arty eh?"

With that said, Grommul took a big bite off the rat leg he was carrying, and washed it down with a bite of cheese, and a swig of beer.

"Dem ratboys 'ighty tasty, too fast for me boys though, 'ave to lead 'em to us wit bits o' cheese, hahahaha. Glad you asked us along, want some rat?"

Lord Atraikius politly turned Grummul down, and Grommul left chanting " 'er mousy mousy" while waving a piece of cheese around.

With a snort of humour at his insane ork allies actions, Lord Atraikius turned and headed inside to aid his companions in arms....

Robert

++++++++++++

Siff jumpded downz da 'ole wiffowt lookin ta see hoo woz followinn 'im. E ad jumpded downz ta da 'puter fingy. 'hmmmm, dis iz wot Robert sez ta pull wozznt it?' he fout to 'imself. E grabbd da big wire fingy and wif a wun, wiff a too, wiff a......um, lots!!! he pullz da plug finggie freed. A big big urty fing urt 'im. "OUCH" e sed. "dat urt!" E lookz aroundz ta see wot da big urty fing woz. "oh, no!" e sedz. "Oh yes!" sed da big urty fing. It woz da 'Fat Bloke' an e ad a big big urty urty nife and fork. "help meze!" siff showtedz. "DADADADADADA CROC IZ ERE!" sed da croc az e busted fru da floor. "Iz gunna save ya siff!" sedz da croc az e turnded ta face da fat wun. "you will die" sed Fat Bloke az e attakeded croc. "no, yooze will diez!" sed siff from iz hidey place behindz croc. Da croc and da fat wun fighted for long timez, but da croc finullee got da betta of da fat bloke. "oooooooh nooooo" sed da fat wun az e woz etten by da croc agenz! "see siff, I saved yooze" sed da croc "we kan get to da 'ulk dis way". "no, ya git" sed siff, "Robert sedz ta 'pull da plug fingie' so wez'l do it!" "k" sed croc. Siff wentz ova to da plug fingie and yanked out ov its 'ole. Nuffink append. "uhhh" sed croc. "uhhhh" sed siff. "wez'll put it in agen and pull it outs agen!" so e did, and nuffink append. Siff kikked da 'puter fingie. 'FFFFFFFFFZZZZZWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOWWWW' da 'puter makded funnee soundz and startzded ta burn. "yay, weze dunz it!" sed siff and croc.

Somewhere in the GW palace, a photocopier stopped working.

"WOOOHOO, WEZE BUSTED DA 'PUTER FINGIE BY PULLIN DA PLUGZEZ!" da orkses had a big partee dat nite.

DA ENDZEZ FOR NOWZ!

Sith

+++++++++++

Despoiler was nearing Pirinen. The echoes of slobbering tongues and pattering feet could be heard. Yes, Despoiler once again pulled his trump card from his ammobelt, and the lure of the warp cheese became ever greater for Pirinen. Since leaving the... "massage parlour" he had been reunited with his Black Legionnaires and his Word Bearers. They waited for Pirinen. Sure enough, he appeared round the corner in front of them, slavering like a zombie. "CHEESE!" he cried as he charged Despoiler. Despoiler grabbed him and stuffed in a soundproof bag, (lest the annoying vocal tones annoy Despoiler and his men!) and held it up high for all to see. A great cheer arose from Despoilers forces.

"To the surface!" cried Despoiler, as they all ran to the outside.

Meanwhile, Jervis was watching the outside battle. "Damn", he thought. "Even our tasteless entertainers are failing in their mission." he beckoned to a servant. "Now that we have lost Pirinen to Despoiler, there is only one thing we can do. However, it is sufficiently evil and, dare I say it, diabolical to overthrow even these the most stubborn of foes." The servant looked nervous already. "Surely not them, Jervis?"

Jervis turned to the servant, and laughed maniacally. "bwahahaha! Let them regret the day they ever messed with my schemes! Release the Spice Girls! Release 911! Release 98 degrees! Release the All Saints! Release THE BACKSTREET BOYS!!! AHH HAHAHAHA!!!! THESE SHALL DESTROY YOU ALLL!!!!! AAAHAHAHAHAH!!!" As he spoke, scores of bands reponsible for some of the most terrible music ever were released from their cages, and were already causing havoc on the anti-GW coallition.

Despoilers forces neared the surface. All they heard was "Wannabe" at 120 decibels...

Despoiler

++++++++++

Outa 'is 'ulk speekas, siff started playin da bestest metal 'e kood find, Pantera, Metallica, Faith No more, Korn and Manson woz dere wif dere mates Pearl Jam, Nirvana (-1), an sum serious grungies. (the black metal bands have been left to Beth & thanos:) Da spice marines ad add enuff, and deyz sed "OI, W-A-N-N-A-B-E" and siff sedz : "H-A-S B-E-E-N-S, N-E-V-E-R W-O-Z B-E-E-N-S" And deyz rund awayz, leevin da faggoty humie bandz ta do wot slannesh likez lotz ta each uvver. Den e sez: "Oi me 'ulk iz gettin shotz" an iz ulk iz gettin shotz. So e goze "weze gotta gets sum sheeldz on dis fingie" and iz mek goez "Yup boss we duz" and den da ulk gets 'it an it krashes into da umie place kalled Nott-in-hamz, were da battle iz bein fited. an e stepz out an sez "OI! yoo lot, deze umies iz winnin!, but siff iz ere now, so twill b 'k" An e gets iz shoota redde an e shootz da gitz lots goodz an itz a ded good shoota, so e sez "dis iz a ded good shoota". and da mek sez "yup". so siff joinzez da fite and e wunderz 'OI! wot happendz ta me smashin da 'puter fingy by pullin da plug fingie???'

Somewhere in the GW palace, a photocopier is still broken.

An in da fitez siff killz lots ov baddiez. so e sez to da boys "OI! boyz, i iz ded killy, i killedz lotz ov baddies" and da mek sez "yup"

TBC......

Sithspawn

++++++++++

Brother Captain Eivan eyed the Wytches from afar. He must have them. Surely a thousand years of service to the Emporer deserved as much. " Lord Navigator. Press the most holy icons and transport the Wytchlings to my chambers!"Eivan bellowed. "Now that my desire are satiated on with the battle!" Orks? Why are the Orks here he pondered? No time for thoughts. Just for retribution. "Loed Navigator Ismuth, lock on our coordinates and transport us back the the Sword of Sanguinis."Eivan demanded. "What is the situation at hand Navigator?" The Emporer's eye betrays all Brother Captain. The "YELLOW" icon represents Inquisitor Jervis's escape route. Shall I brinhg the Swoed around to bear?"asked the Navigator. "Good god man, by all means, lay in a course and bring the Emporer's wrath upon the foul Jervis!!"

Shaggy

++++++++++

Da Orkses woz just abowt ta get dem "wychees" wen deyz dissapeerd. "OI! wots goin on!?" sed siff. "da 'ulk iz fixed" sed da mek. Siff lookeded to da sky, e seed de Sord ov da red guy, an e sed "OI! i seez da sord ov da red guy, dats were da wychees wentz, ta go an see da shag man. weez got ta get dem bak" and da orkses tried ta get da ulk up in da air, but da mek woz a git an it dint workz."OI! yer a git" sed siff. Siff seed a funderawk gunzhip an e fout to steel itz from da umies. "OI! weez kan steel da funderawk an get a noo ulk, an den weez kan kill da GW fellas and getz us sum wytchees" so dey didz. Da noo ulk woz "borrad" from da git oo as lotz ov lizards, eez name woz nikk. It woz ded killy but woz kuvved in lizad writtin an stuff. "OI! sed siff, weez gotta katch dam GW gita an get us sum wytchees" sed siff. "yup" sed da mek. Deyz went ta da "kontrol room-speshul orkses onlee" and deyz foundz a funee site dere, twoz croc, eatin da last ov da froggy gitz, and da croc sedz: " hey, siff, weez gotta getz us sum ov dose wytchees". "yeh, we doo, an da onlee wyz ta get dem iz ta kill da GW gitz.". "yup" sed da mek. Dayz floo off afta doze GW gitz and da Sord ov da red guy to sayz "hi" to da shag man and sayz "givv us sum wytchees too!"..........

Sithspawn

++++++++++

Pirinen looked up from his computer terminal, trying to see the shadow that had caught just the edge of his eye, but he saw nothing. He returned to writing his latest CHE-, um, army book. Once again he saw what he thought was movement, and he looked up. Standing in the corner was a figure dressed in black, holding a strange crystalline weapon. Pirinen said to the figure "You cannot hurt me! Neural Shredders don't exist! I have no fear of you! You are just a creation of Rick's Feeble Mind! We have written you out of the universe, along with those lowly Squats and those vile Slimy Frogs, the Slann!" Deth raised his weapon and fired. The tearing of paper was heard loudly throughout the office, and Deth spoke. "Tuomas, you were just a Paper Tiger! And my weapon is a Paper Shredder! Once again, you have underestimated the power of the Gamer Side of the Equation!" As Deth turned and walked away, all that was left of Commissar Pirinen was the smell of Burnt Limburger! "That will show the GW Imperium they cannot do away with the Judges that easily! Judge Deth to Chief Judge Dredd, Judgement has been rendered. I move on to my next case, the perp called Johnson, aka Jervis! I trust your mission to pass Judgement on the perps Chambers and Priestly will be as successful! Mega-City 1 Shall Return!!!! Deth Out."

Ragnar

+++++++++

The Dark One strode through the chaos filled corridors. The stench of blood, fear and cheese was almost overwhelming. Pausing only to kick the occasional rat he hurried towards his destination. The surface.

Tha surface battle had degenerated into a bloody squabble. Ork fell upon human, marine blasted chaos and chaos devoured squat. If the fight was for cheese, beer, witch elves, fun or Thanos stash of dirty pictures, mattered not. Chaos it still was. The air, filled with an unholy blend of diaper-pop, grunge rock and death metal, seemed to groan loudly in pain. Chaos had come to Nottingham at last.

With a smile on his lips the Dark One approached his fellow chaos commanders. The Despoiler, with an unusual air of ... happines around him and Thanos wistfully looking back towards the compund. Daedlar was nowhere to be seen. "So ... fellow warlords. Does thee feel that thee has acieved our objective?" The Despoiler shook the squirming sack. "I have what I came for!" he bellowed. Thanos, looked back at the fray "Why donīt we just..." The Dark One interrupted him. "You ... you have corrupted countless pre-teens, had your way with their parents, sown the seeds of lechery in the ranks of the Blood Angels, destroyed the love of Lord Johnsson and you are still not satisfied?" Thanos shrugged and caressed his lightning claw. "Nah, thats the fun thing about me, I never am! I wouldn't mind a taste or two more of those wyches". The Dark One raised a hand of warning "Those ... wyches, as you call them, were lent to me by Lord Dan Witchlover. I strongly suggest that you put any thought of them out of your mind. Lord Dan is not known for his forgiving temper". Thanos just smiled broadly "Good thing that we live in two different universe then!" he laughed. With a dramatic bow towards his black clad brethren he whirled around, aiming towards the most heated part of the fray. Thanos of Titan strode through the battlefield, witch elves and corruption in his wake. The Despoiler angrily shook the sack. A whimper could be heard from the inside, "Is he always like that?" he snarled. "Is there no way to reason with that man?" The dark One shook his head . "No ... I don't think there is" sighed "Thanos will always be Thanos. So .. brother, shall we pull back now, before the reinforcements arrive?" "Reinforcements!" the Despoiler spat "What reinforcements could they possibly have left." The Dark One smiled, careful not to let the furious warlord see it. "Suresly you know that Lord Jervis is but a pawn of the Elder Investors, brother? This chaos could be enough to wake them from their aeon old sleep." The Despoiler froze "The Elder Investors... Bah, I have my prize and I leave now to toy with it for eternity! Pirinen shall at last know fear!" With that, the massiver terminator armoured Lord left towards his waiting barge, his surviving troops falling in behind him.

Tha Dark One took one last long look upon the battlefield. He too had acieved his objective. Chaos hade spread to yet another planet, forcing the inhabitants to think for themselves. Bereft of Lord Johnssons leadership and without their hero Pirinen the surviving pre-teeens already had started to ... change. Some stood clustered around the speakers, intensly listening to the gringe and death that oozed forth. Some could be seen digging in the forbidden paint sets unearthed by the vicious battle. Dark, drab, natural colors, previously unheard of changed hands as they discarded the pastel ones they once held so dear. Some, both parent and pre-teen, were looking curiously to the path of Slaanesh, nervously blushing at the smile of Thanos daemonettes. Most importantly, several of them had started building a large pyre upon which they threw large chunks of cheese, letting it slowly melt into a harmless soggy brownish mass.

The Dark One smiled. Once again things had moved according to plan. Even though it had been the closest call yet. With a final chuckle he activated his teleporter and was gone.

Beth666

++++++++++++

Outside of the fortress of uneatable cheese, the battle raged. Although the Spice Girls had been taken care of, the Backstreet boys were causing extreme casualties. With Pirinen in the bag (sic), Despoilers men set after Jervis and his chronies. They had a good idea where they were.

"Hurry, McVey! We must leave Terra before they all realise where we are!" Jervis said. Around him, all that was left of the GW Imperium was climbing aboard a large ship, marked "PROPERTY OF LEISURE CORP, LTD". In small letters above it, barely visible was the GW logo. Almost all the White Dwarf crew was on board, and the only people left outside were the remnants of the Crack "Mail Order Troll" brigade. Within minutes they too were onboard. However, scouts of the Vladivan XXI Imperial Guard had found out about this, and alerted all the commanders of allied forces. Seeing that the terrible entertainers were just a diversion, units of the allied forces broke away to try and stop the commanders of GW getting away.

Jervis looked out his window. He began to laugh, as he saw the last ditch effort of the allies to stop him. He puller a small microphone from the seat armrest and spoke.

"I see you have found out about my escape. I fear it is all too late for you. You see, you are all nothing without GW." he pressed a button, and a small balcony opened out from the ship, and he walked onto it.

"I have in my hand a tome which shall make you all obselete. In my hand, I hold... THE FOURTH EDITION!" Gasps of suprise and horror came from the crowd. Despoiler stepped out. "You can't do this! You just released THIRD edition, which a lot don't yet have!"

Jervis laughed. "In this edition, there is no Chaos. No Emperor. And there are any SQUATS, either. BWahahaha! Now you can see the truly diabolical element in my schemes" Someone in the crowd whispered, "he likes that word, diabolical doesn't he?"

"You see, my millions of 12 year olds will buy this book. And you will all vanish! I'm laughing all the way to the bank! So long suckers! Adios! AH ahahha! heheh-" he walked back into the ship, and it ignited it's engines. It began to take off. Despoiler cried, "QUICK! To our dropships! We must give chase, lest we become," Despoiler read a piece of paper that fell from the book Jervis held, "DISNEY COMMUNITIY WORKERS!? SALVATION ARMIES!? We cannot allow this happen! Onwards!"

It was too late though. The ship vanished into the ether.

"We failed", said one in the crowd.

"No", said Despoiler. We've only just begun the war....

Despoilers part ends here, as he climbs aboard a ship to take him and his men to the Black Legion battlebarge.

Despoiler

++++++++++++

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Iz gesses dat in Forf edishun Orkses become an intellectually advanced race of poets and scholars, who travel the galaxy righting the wrongs and performing public services. We of the Orcish race become brilliant thinkers and pre-adolescents admire us for our peace talks and settling our differences without battle. The name was also changed to "Peacehammer 40,000" and there was "Peacegear" which you chose to overcome your opponents in the vicious negotiations that would occasionally occur when the brutish Eldar accidentally beat up one of the Orcish scholars.

In the Harsh Brightness of the far future there is only peace.

Sithspawn

++++++++++++

Thanos strode off, accompanied by his faithful guard and Squad Ministry. They passed through the assembled rebellion members, laughing as they did. Most of the others looked at them in utter disgust, some vomiting. Some looked in complete awe, especially the wytch known as Beth666. She cast Thanos a glance. He knew what she wanted. He wanted to give it to her. But, zounds he was tired! He was already burning in his privates! How could he even think about that now? There was one thing he could do. With that, he walked to her and gave her his e-mail address. It was the least he could do for the elfling with the huge mouth. He then, turned away and joined his men.

"Captain Niveck, how many of the little bastards did we capture in this raid?" asked the sorcerror.

"32," replied the large marine.

"Good, that should be just enough," Thanos replied. Thanos began to have feelings in his lower half again. He smiled.

Thanos of titan

+++++++++++++

"Heresy!" cried Sister Superior Forsythia, "the impure flesh must be purged with the cleansing fire ofhis holyness the Emperor" , directing her Retributor squad to open fire on the lewd, writhing bodies of the Slaaneshi hoards who had recently captured some of the Emperors finest. "Abomination!" she screamed, though secretly she supressed a forbidden attraction to the scantily clad Noize Marines of Thanos' retinue. "Man they really do it for me" she thought subconscientiously.

Eldanesh

++++++++++

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