The Trouble with Admirals

(Gwahir's Story)

By David C. Fernau

Commander Heather Scott watched intently as Francis M. Proudhawk beamed back on board. After being off the Saratoga for five weeks, she was feeling quite lonely, and was genuinely glad to have him back on board.

"Welcome back, Soulmate," she said, "Or should I say, Doctor Soulmate?"

Proudhawk, with a dirty look in her direction, commented, "I don't see what the two have to do with each other. But I do like the sound of people calling me Doctor. I should have never dropped outta that class."

"Well, I'm glad that you got back into it, and finished it. Besides the fact that this ship needs a good psychologist, I can tell you're happy with the new honor."

He grinned back at her. <Any idea where we're heading now?>

<Nope. The Captain hasn't said a word, though he hinted that your new talents will probably be needed.>

<Great.>

<Hey, at least he's showing that he trusts you already.>

<Kinda hard not to trust a telepathic psychologist.> He smiled.

<Oh, well... didja get my new office set up?>

<Well, then, let's go take a look at it!>

Arm in arm, they left the transporter room and walked down the hall.

Three days later, the Captain walked into the new office of the new Chief Psychologist. After exchanging pleasantries, he locked the door with his Command code, then sat down.

"I don't have to read your mind to know that I'm about to be told what this unexpected trip is all about," Proudhawk stated, very matter-of-factly.

Starska laughed. "I'm surprised that neither you nor Heather has found out yet. You two are the most curious people on this ship, in more ways than one."

Proudhawk chuckled. "Still bugged by my 'air of mystery', Captain?"

"Not so much bugged as intrigued, especially with this new assignment you're about to be handed. I think even you may have to sweat a little on this one, my friend."

"Sounds ominous. Enough beating around the bush. Tell, or I find out myself," Proudhawk said, with a mischievous grin.

"It's really quite simple. The planet we're orbiting now is quite rich with Dilithium crystals. You're to get the natives' permission for Starfleet to mine the crystals. You've been given full diplomatic powers."

"Uh-huh. I can tell by the look on your face that it ain't gonna be quite that simple."

"Well, there is the fact that the culture here is quite similar to that of the American Indian."

"Go on... I can tell that you still haven't told me all of it."

"Okay... the original negotiator is still there, and he, well, kinda got into a bit of trouble."

"What you're trying to say is that he fucked up."

"Well, Starfleet Admirals don't 'fuck up'."

"They don't on the record, that's true... I believe they call it 'creating an unavoidable mistake'."

Starska smiled. "You got it. Anyway, this Admiral, by the name of Skougaard, refuses to leave, and no one in Starfleet is brave enough to try and force him to leave."

"Fun city. I'll bet he's sworn to stay here until we get permission to mine."

"Right on the nose."

"Oh, well... I better get started. I'll be wearing some of my old clothes to beam down."

"Understandable."

Less than two hours later, Proudhawk and Heather were again in the transporter room.

<Okay... you'd better get going.>

Without another word, Proudhawk stepped up onto the transporter platform and stood waiting. Heather set the coordinates, then beamed him down.

He arrived on a small hill overlooking the village. He experienced a small thrill, as he usually did when on his own, with only his wits and talents to depend on. Sighing, he walked down into the village. He was greeted by three natives, who, while appearing human in every other way, had one major difference that set them apart. They were purple, from head to toe.

"I am a traveler from afar," Proudhawk said, "I bring greetings from the stars."

"Your dress and your manners speak well of you, traveler from the stars, though your color brands you an outsider. Why have you come to our world?" the biggest native asked.

"I seek to enter an agreement with the Chief of your people. My Chiefs wish to purchase a valuable crystal from you."

At the word crystal, the other two natives pointed their spears at him, one at his head, the other at his midsection.

"We have had another traveler from the stars, who was rude to the Captal, and who demanded we give him our crystals. Why should we listen to you?"

"Because I come among you as a friend, and as one who would like to be counted one of your people."

"Do not speak of being one of us so lightly. We care for all the living things of this planet. To be counted one of us, you must pass the Tanuviel, the test of adulthood. However, we shall let the Captal decide whether or not to let you try it. Come with us."

Not desiring to find one of the spears embedded in his hide, Proudhawk followed them. He was led inside a hut with guards standing outside the door. Inside was a man in the uniform of a Starfleet Admiral.

"So, you've come to take my victory away from me, have you? You'll not find it easy, mister. I'll get the Dilithium if I have to kill every one of those purple-skinned idiots!"

Proudhawk suddenly realized why he had been sent on this mission. Many people could have made the treaty with the natives. What was really needed here was someone to treat the Admiral's obvious mental problems.

Deciding the bold approach was best here, Proudhawk stepped toward the Admiral and extended his hand. "Doctor Francis Montgomery Proudhawk, of the U.S.S. Saratoga. I have been sent by Starfleet to insure that the mining agreement is taken care of properly. You, sir, are relieved of this duty, and requested to return to Starfleet Headquarters immediately."

Admiral Skougaard leaped at Proudhawk's throat, but was stopped in mid-air by a telekinetic shield. Silently thanking Heather for teaching him that trick, he started to enter the Admiral's mind. But, as he extended his telepathy, he sensed natives coming towards the hut, so he merely made sure the Admiral would sleep, and was standing at the door when the natives approached.

"The Captal bids you eat with him, that he may judge your worthiness to take the Tanuviel," one of the natives said. "Come."

Following, with his head held proudly, Proudhawk was led into the center of the village, where the largest huts were. He was escorted into one of a pair of huts, which, according to their size, were the Captal's residence and meeting hall.

The Captal, an aging man of medium height and build, looked Proudhawk over minutely before gesturing for him to sit and the guards to leave. "What is your name, traveler from the stars?"

"I have many names, sir, but I prefer to be called Proudhawk."

"Proudhawk... even your name sounds as one of ours. Who told you of our customs?"

"No one, sir. I come from a culture very similar to yours, however. I can see that you are a proud and intelligent man, so I shall not insult you by talking down to you. I come from another world, which orbits another star. I am a representative of a government of many such worlds, called the United Federation of Planets. Your world is rich in a substance which we need, called Dilithium. We sent an envoy here to ask your permission to mine Dilithium. I apologize for his rude behavior. When the Federation learned how he was treating you, they sent me to speak to you."

"None of this surprises me. We have long known of other stars, and in our past we traveled to them. But we have no need to stay on them, for our place is here, caring for this world. Your envoy, Admiral Skougaard, refused to take the Tanuviel. However, in order for me to be able to speak to you concerning the Dilithium, you must pass the test, and be called an adult. However, I shall attempt to help you pass it, since I think we can work out an agreement." He paused to take a drink from a wineskin, then tossed it to Proudhawk. "The test starts now," he said. "Drink, as a man drinks, and continue to the second part."

Without hesitation, Proudhawk lifted the skin and turned it upside down, letting a stream of wine pour into his mouth, but never touching lips to the spout. He lowered the skin and tossed it back to the Captal.

"Very good. I knew you would not fail that. The real test is whether or not the child has the courage to throw the skin to me. Now for the second part." He snapped his fingers, and a servant came in with a covered dish, setting it before Proudhawk. The Captal, reciting what Proudhawk realized must be a ritual verse, said, "Eat, as a man eats, and you will pass into the third test."

Proudhawk carefully lifted the cover from the plate. On it was a pile of leaves and fruits.

The Captal leaned close and whispered to Proudhawk, "Since you are new to this world, I will tell you that we have included nothing poisonous in your dish, as we do in many other dishes. Part of this test is determining which is poisonous and which is not... the other part is bearing the humiliation of eating no meat."

Grinning his thanks to the Captal, Proudhawk began to eat everything on his plate. When he was done, the Captal said, "Now I will tell you of the last part. You must go into the wilderness and tame an animal and bring it back to the village with you." Rising from the table, the Captal finished his ritual verse. "Go now into the forest and bring me proof of your caring for the animals of this world. Only then will you be a man."

Bowing to each other, Proudhawk left the hut, and walked, with no guards, outside of the village and into the forest. He knew that if he didn't succeed, he'd be better off just beaming back up to the ship. Tribes like this sometimes killed those who didn't pass the tests... and if they didn't, they still might make an exception for an outsider.

He hiked deep into the forest, then sat down and opened his mind, searching for a friendly animal, calling with his mind for one that would please the Captal.

After more than an hour of calling, he heard the flutter of wing-beats. Looking up, he saw a beautiful bird coming at him. As it came closer, he realized what his subconscious had done. He had called his namesake, a truly beautiful and proud hawk from the wilderness.

As the bird landed in front of him, his heart skipped a few beats. He had felt a telepathic call from the bird! The animals of this world were telepathic, and taming one meant opening one's mind to the animal. This was a harder test than he had expected, but, as a trained telepath himself, still quite easy. He picked up the bird and, setting it on his shoulder, started the bonding process which was more similar than different than the one he had unwittingly gone through with Heather. The Soulmate bond did not hinder the other bond being formed, rather, it helped it, since he knew what he was getting into. It took almost 18 hours before the bond was complete, and he knew he had passed the test. Explaining the bird to Starska wouldn't be easy, but there wasn't much he could do about that.

Walking back into the village, he decided to name the bird Gwahir, after the great eagle of Tolkien's "Lord Of The Rings". He walked proudly into the village, and headed directly for the Captal's huts. With Gwahir perched on his shoulder, no one bothered him or tried to stop him. He was one of them now.

Entering the hut he had dined in before, he found the Captal alone, apparently meditating.

As he approached, the Captal looked up, and smiled at him. "I see you have succeeded. Welcome to the Clan, Lord of the Proud Hawk. Now, shall we see about getting Starfleet their Dilithium?"

It actually took only about 45 minutes to get the treaty ironed out. All the Clan wanted was Starfleet's assurances that there would be no lasting damage to the world, which Proudhawk readily gave, knowing that Starfleet never did permanent damage to any world unless absolutely necessary. The Captal also stated that he would talk to Skougaard about Federation membership.

Proudhawk took another two days planetside, treating Skougaard, and communing with his new-found friends. He agreed to stop by and visit as often as possible, and accepted the title of Lord of the Proud Hawk, and a large plot of land which went with the honor.

Admiral Skougaard, in his gratitude to Proudhawk, informed Starska via communicator that Proudhawk was to be allowed to keep Gwahir on board the Saratoga. Proudhawk asked Starska to let Gwahir be a surprise to Heather, and Starska agreed, thinking of the look that was sure to be on Heather's face.

As Heather beamed Proudhawk back on board, something seemed strange about her Soulmate and the Captain. As his form grew more distinct, her eyes opened wider, not believing what she saw. Proudhawk was standing on the transporter platform with Gwahir in his usual place on his left shoulder. Heather wasn't too surprised when she learned he had bonded to the hawk. However, she was surprised to learn that she was also partially bonded to him. Shrugging it off, the two Soulmates began to leave the transporter room when Starska tried to pet Gwahir, and almost got bit for it.

"That bird's dangerous, Proudhawk!" the Captain cried.

Heather, seeing an opportunity to get back at the Captain, reached up and calmly petted Gwahir. "No, Captain, he just has good taste." she said.

Both Soulmates laughed, joined by the telepathic laughter of Gwahir, as Starska turned beet-red.