Name: MSerenath
E-mail: Serenath@geocities.com
Homepage: Realm of Perdea
ICQ#: 13089094
Age: 22
Birthdate: October 22, 1976
Dominant, Submissive, or Vanilla: Switch with a 60-40 ratio to the dominant side.
Been into BDSM for: *blink* Probably before I was even truly aware of it, and I can't remember that far back. I was certainly deeply committed to the philosophy for years before I became involved with and subverted my first boyfriend *wicked laugh*
Main interests: I am a pagan and a very spiritually devoted person. Everything winds up being connected to it insome way. I'm currently pursuing a degree in audio recording so that I can be aprofessional techno-bard someday. I'm very active in the arts --writing, singing, composing, acting, sculpting, web design, crafting religious/kinkythings, leather usually being involved somehow *grin*
Likes and Dislikes: Hmmm, I like (both as domme and sub, doing to others or having done to me) tight and restrictive clothing, binding in any of a broad range of positions with whatever equipment makes it the most challenging, light sensation play (hot wax, ice, feathers, fur, what have you), playing with food (whipped cream, chocolate, etc) sensory deprivation, play that explores the threshold between pleasure/pain (nipple and other clamps, spanking, flogging), erogenous zone teasing and torture, and most varieties of mind games and set role scenarios. I've never had any interest in watersports, scatplay, or edge/blood play. The ideas don't bother me in theory or in the practice of others, I just really dislike even the image of myself involved in those particular activities. To use an old ASB term, they just make me squicky.
Fetishes: Velvet, silk, black leather, particularly boots, anything chocolate mint, riding crops
Short Bio: As I mentioned above, I can't really think of a time when I wasn't into BDSM in as far as I recognized the elements. I have childhood memories of convincing others to tie me up so I could try to escape (yeah, of course I was just imitating Houdini, no underlying psychological significance at all). My best friend when I was little and I would have lengthy discussion of rather perverse daydreams, the one I remember best being "boys' school" -- we would be bound naked to a kind of pillory or stock like public arrangement, to be tormented for the amusement of the inhabitants of a boys' boarding school. When my friend and I had a fight once, she threw these discussions in my face, saying I was really sick to have ever come up with anything like that. This wasn't a very useful tactic, as I just kind of looked at her blankly; I had no shame because I couldn't see anything wrong with the fantasies, and I thought she was a hypocrite for calling me sick when she had been just as eager to develop the idea (I'm not sure whose the idea originally was). At any rate, all of these things happening before my teens kind of points to a trend in my character, don't you think? The thing that really made me aware of what my tendencies meant put into an adult sexual context happened when I was 13, when I discovered the gloriously kinky work of Depeche Mode. Their song "Master and Servant" was terribly shocking to my virgin ears (I admit with shame that my listening tastes ran more towards Debbie Gibson and Tiffany at this tender age), but shocking in avery exciting and delicious way. I was simply completely thrown that people could actually just openly sing about this kind of thing, and get away with it!I had no idea that music could be written from such a perspective, on interesting things, not just mushy boring stereotypical love themes. The album _Some Great Reward_ totally revolutionized my perspective on life both as an artist and as a sexual being. Being 13 at the time, however, it took some years for the practical implementation of these ideas to come around. I wasn't very popular in highschool, didn't see the point in casual dating (I guess now that a lot of BDSM people might be this way -- why bother to invest the time and effort in a prospect that might not work out, when you can check out the other person as a friend before getting committed? Just beginning training can take a large amount of time and trust comittment, and so trying to make sure things might pan out before starting makes a lot of sense. This is all hindsight now, at the time I was working on instinct). I became involved with my first boyfriend when I was 17, and he knew beforehand that I was kinky, and was interested. Only amonth or two into the relationship of over 2 years, he had built an altar to the Goddess Llyne in his bedroom (this was the name I went by originally which began rather inappropriate for the use and just became very much more so overtime). Things went slowly at first, because we both had to learn the mechanics of doing things the vanilla way before we could really add kinky flourishes tothem ;). Something important to consider here is that at this time, I considered myself totally submissive. All of my fantasies consisted of various scenarios where I was used for pleasure against my protests, secretly enjoying it, or perfomed under orders due to fear and respect of a Master. The problem was, my boyfriend was really enthusiastic about the idea of BDSM, but terrible at its execution. He was great when dealing with just light bondage, sensory deprivation and sensation play, but when he could be talked into topping me he was a wretched master. He would just act like he was going through the motions to please me, but not give me anything I really wanted out of a scene, so out of boredom and frustration I moved from my original willing and happy submissive to the defiant submissive, because challenging his authority to see what he would do was so much more interesting. When I would top in turn at his request, I really made an effort to be a good domme, but that seemed to make things worse, because his enjoyment of that made me resent the fact that I never really got what I wanted. This was basically the dynamic of the entire relationship and we eventually broke up; he has since gone vanilla. I soon after became involved in another relationship, with someone keenly interested in the idea of BDSM, but I had a real training situation on my hands here, as it was really his first relationship. I had seen in him flashes of true master potential before we started the relationship (without which I would never have gotten into it), but he was too reckless and inexperienced to trust in scene yet. So I decided to follow the Anne Rice model where "the best slaves make the best masters". I wasn't really happy about it, but there seemed no way around it. I should probably explain why, as a Mistress,I am so reluctant at times to domme. It's pretty simple. Through my life, various males have cheerfully thrown themselves at my feet to do as I pleased with, due to some "natural dominance" that I'm told that I radiate, on purpose or not. The problem is, alot of other people apparently pick this up and so come to me asking me to take charge of this or makes sure this gets done or tell me what to do because your shit is so together that you must know. And I'm good at it. But after a long day of administrating the world we live in and life in general, I'd like to come home and have all power or responsibility lifted off of me for a few hours and just let someone else take charge, not make Being In Charge my only leisure time hobby as well as full time occupation. But the thing is, that I am good at it, and it can a lot of times be very fun, and the worst thing is that the power can be very very addictive and hard to giveup. So the Master training didn't go very well because I was still in my defiant submissive mode and it's real easy for that to turn into topping from the bottom when you are dealing with a new and unsure dominant. I've had to really work on trying to be a nice compliant sub, and now that I've gotten scenes where I can do that, I find that it just isn't as much fun a lot of times as being the one in charge. That's really okay, though, because my boyfriend is really more submissive than he is dominant, though he enjoys topping every so often. So I am Mistress Serenath, with my collared slave insolence, and on an occasional basis I act as Master's sub kitten, but that is much less of a facet of our relationship.So, sorry the short bio became so long, but it is as condensed as I could get it, and I think that this info will be useful in helping you A/all get a sense of my perspective.
