20. Worf signs Alexander up for ballet lessons.

19. Data swears.

18, Picard beams down.

17. All of Geordi's lines are in words of two syllables or less, with no pseudo-scientific doubletalk.

16. Troi runs amok with a machete.

15. Barclay is really the Captain; Picard is just an ensign, and all of his "command" has been a holodeck simulation.

14. No guest stars are relatives of Tasha Yar.

13. Geordi gets a woman.

12. Data uses a contraction.

11. Riker accepts command of another starship.

10. Tired of not being sure whether he is a lieutenant or a chief petty officer, O'Brien beams the entire bridge crew into a black hole and assumes the rank of Captain.

9. Picard fires the phasers.

8. Spot is revealed as a Romulan spy.

7. Wesley is affected the same as the rest of the crew, and a no-name security guard saves the ship.

6. Picard switches from tea to coffee.

5. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.

4. Data figures out that being a robot is good.

3. Picard explains his accent.

2. An entire year goes by without the enterprise encountering any relatives (daughter, sister, etc) of Tasha Yar.

1. Attending a conference on some planet that doesn't involve running through kidnap attempts and dodging time warps.