Title: I can't make you love me.
Author: AeVaL (SeibaCaper@hotmail.com )
Pairing: Richie/Methos
Rating: PG-15
Distribution: R/M List Archive, and 7Th.Dim -- if you want it :)~
Feedback: The muses must have it cause I'm very proud that they
finished something for the first time in months. I guess I ought to
listen to George Michael more often.
Warnings: M/M relationship. If this bothers you, don't read it. Oh,
and it's a tad bit angsty --
Disclaimer: Richie, Methos, and the concept of immortality belong to
DPP et all. Don't sue, I'll just file for bankruptcy. LOL (The fact
that I don't have anything anyway makes this easier.) The song
lyrics belong to whoever originally wrote, "I can't make you love
me". I have heard it performed by many so I couldn't even begin to
guess whom it really belongs too.
NOTES:
//Lyrics go here//
<>
**Look! I finally finished one! I know it's not very long, but it's
done, isn't it?
THANKS: To Nikki for being so great... Oh! And for the beta too!!!
-- I can't make you love me --
by AeVaL.
Richie lay awake in bed with Methos' arms wrapped around his body.
He felt warm, safe, and incredibly vulnerable. The rain was pouring
outside and the dim glow of the fireplace ghosted across the room,
making the situation feel more romantic than it was.
The young man sighed as he listened to the soft music seeping from
the stereo speakers. He couldn't understand how something that
seemed so perfect could actually mean so little to the man holding
him. He knew it meant nothing. He could see it in those almost empty
hazel eyes every time they made eye contact. Sometimes it was as if
Methos wasn't even there with him while they made love.
He never questioned it. Never asked for an explanation. He just
accepted it, knowing that every second meant one second closer to the
end of this bittersweet fantasy. Richie sighed again, and burrowed
closer to the warmth behind him. It never ceased to amaze him how
right he felt lying here like this, and he was sure that nothing ever
would feel right the same way again.
Closing his eyes, he tried to block out the thoughts that invaded his
mind, wanting only to enjoy the moment. There was nothing he could
do to change the way Methos felt about him and thinking about it
wasn't going to solve anything -- it was only going to shatter him.
The arm draped around his waist tightened around him as if Methos had
somehow known what he was thinking. Richie knew the older man would
never consciously hurt him. Despite the fact that they were only
occasional lovers, Methos was his friend and cared about his
feelings.
The thought caused a vine of guilt to wrap around his heart. How
could he be so self involved that he only thought of how all of this
affected him? There were two people in this bed after all, and
Methos had shown him nothing but kindness. He should be grateful to
have such a person in his life -- even if he wanted more than just a
solid friendship and an occasional roll in the hay.
The room grew quiet except for the soft whir and click of the stereo
changing discs. A soft, familiar song began and George Michael's
smooth voice slowly filled room.
//Turn down the lights,
Turn down the bed,
Turn down these voices,
Inside my head.//
<< God, I wish I could -- Just once. >>
//Lay down with me,
Tell me no lies,
Just hold me close,
Don't patronize....
Don't patronize me....//
<< You have never lied to me. It just makes me love you that much
more>>
//Cause I can't make you love me,
If you don't.
You can't make your heart feel,
Something it won't. //
A lone tear slipped from Richie's eye onto his pillow. He tried to
breathe through his nose, but found that it was a little difficult.
He opened his mouth and took a long, calming breath.
//Here in the dark,
In these final hours,
I will lay down my heart,
And I'll feel the power,
But you won't...
No you won't...//
<< What I feel -- It's so strong Methos. If only it were strong
enough for the both of us. >>
Another tear tumbled down, closely followed by yet another. They
were coming in earnest now, and there was nothing he could do to stop
them. He closed his mouth, attempting to swallow up his anguish.
//And I can't make you love me,
if you don't//
<< How is it that I can feel so much for you, when you don't feel
anything at all? >>
Richie held his eyes tightly closed. He covered his mouth with one
hand, and tried to breathe through his nose again.
//I close my eyes,
Then I won't see,
The love you do not feel,
When you're holding me.//
<< It hurts so much Methos. It hurts to see how far away you are
when you're inside me, since all I want to do is be here with you. >>
He turned his head, burying it into the soft feather pillow, and let
out one soul-wrenching sob.
//Morning will come
And I will do what's right,
Just give me till then
To give up this fight,
And I will give up this fight...//
<< I can't do this anymore. I have to leave this place or this will
never stop. It's best -- for both of us. >> Richie realized that if
Methos didn't love him now, then the old man never would. He lifted
his head gasping for air as quietly as he could, but the thought of
never hearing Methos' voice, never smelling his skin, never kissing
his sweet lips again undid the young man.
He tightened his hold on the arm around his waist and began to cry
uncontrollably.
"Richie? Richie what's wrong?" a worried voice queried. Richie wiped
his face frantically with his free hand and tried turning into the
pillow once again, but strong arms prevented it. He suddenly found
himself on his back, with Methos pressed hard against his body, his
face being held by the older man's hands.
"Shhh, it's okay Richie, I'm here. Tell me what's wrong?" Methos used
his thumbs to wipe the tears that fell from Richie's eyes. Richie
felt tiny kisses being placed about his face.
"God Methos, it just hurts so much," Richie's strangled voice tried
to explain. His head moved from side to side, as if somehow that
would lessen the pain in his heart.
"What hurts, Richie? Tell me, I'll make it right..." Methos promised,
worried about his best friend and whimsical lover.
Those words made Richie cry even more, knowing that nothing Methos
had learned to do throughout his years would ever take away his
heartache. There was no cure for this. Richie pushed Methos' hands
away from his face and wrapped his arms around the other man's neck,
holding him close for the last time. He thought about the answer
carefully and told himself it was only fair that he tell Methos now
why he was leaving the city first thing in the morning.
"Loving you, Methos. Loving you this much hurts me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The End? The beginning? You tell me...
