Nitpicker’s Guide
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4. Blackstar's Extra-Curricular Activities:
Dear Penthouse:
I'm an eligible, dimwitted astronaut recently lost in an alien universe. Life is complicated here, and dangerous. I'm being hounded by a psychotic overlord and his legions of terror, but I've got to tell you the women here make it all worthwhile. You've never seen so many tinfoil bikinis in one place. There are green babes, blue ones and even a couple of lavender ones...man, I've got myself a color for everyday of the week.

Watch a couple of episodes and you'll quickly realize that Blackstar has the most interesting dating life of any Filmation character before or since. Whatever danger might be in the air, this guy's libido doesn't know how (or when) to quit. In fact, it's what gets him into trouble in the episode "Crown of the Sorceress."


Taleena, a.k.a. Blackstar’s Date From Hell

Try to imagine He-Man or even the self-professed ladykiller Bow getting it on the way this guy does. Nothing comes to mind? Yeah, we're drawing a blank here, too.

Why Blackstar feels he needs all this female attention is beyond me. Mara is undoubtedly the hottest blue chick in the Filmation universe, and she and Our Hero obviously have something going. They often exchange meaningful looks and banter, and Mara's constantly got her hands all over the guy. Considering her other dating options, you can easily understand why.


Mara, Blue and in the Mood

Not to say that Blackstar wasn't getting any at home. From the rare episode "Spacewrecked," we learn in a big way that Our Hero does, indeed, have an Earth-born girlfriend. Katana may be something of a dimwitted blonde, but with that sultry purr of hers....me-ow! Blackstar must have been attracted to her, um, intellect. Introducing her interferes with the continuity of the series, since she's never mentioned in any other episode, and Blackstar doesn't seem to recall anything about any prior commitments.
Katana, The Blonde Next Door

For those of you who haven’t seen “Spacewrecked,” or don’t recall seeing it, let’s just put it this way: if Katana didn’t need to be rescued every two seconds, the episode would have been a half-hour Makeout Session. Katana blathers on to the Overlord about love being the strongest force in the entire universe (yeah, like he gets the concept) to the point of nausea, but she’s the only female character who shares a kiss with Our Hero--and it isn't any sisterly peck on the cheek either.


Quick, call the censors!

Katana appears only in that one episode. Surrounded by so many scantily clad babes, Blackstar seems to have selective amnesia in the relationship department, but can you blame him? Kat isn't around for most of the series, and Blackstar simply does what any normal guy in his position would do. What guy with healthy hormones would say no to getting laid?

Ever notice in many of the episodes ("The Quest," "The Lord of Time," "Crown of the Sorceress") where we encounter a tribe of average Sagarese, we never see any women? They're not stupid, you know. Lock up your wives and daughters, Blackstar's in the neighborhood!

5. The Trobbits, the Sagar Tree and Other Trailer Trash:
To be fair, Filmation isn't to blame for the Trobbits. The original design called for three small blue creatures resembling the Morlocks from The Time Machine. Problem was, the Powers That Be at CBS, where Blackstar originally aired, didn't like the concept. They felt if it was ugly, it was scary and therefore couldn't possibly be a good guy. I know I for one would have liked to see where Filmation might have gone with this idea, but alas, they never got the chance. CBS executives wanted the Trobbits to be--ack!--cute, and some genius thought it would be just so original if there were seven of them. So Filmation obliged and did their own take on the Seven Dwarves.

If you think about it, that might make Blackstar Snow White.

Yes, the Trobbits are obviously named after Tolkien's hobbits (there are a lot of Tolkien borrowings in Blackstar, including the Tree and the broken sword), but at least the Trobbits don't have furry feet or smoke pipeweed. And, most noticeably of all, there are no females. Kind of a shame, really. We could easily imagine crusty old Balkar with an even crustier shrew of a wife.


The Fine Art of Trobbit Cuisine

We're never told exactly how the Trobbits are related to each other. Is Gossamer a genetic fluke? And if there are no female Trobbits, how do they reproduce?

One thing we do know about the Trobbits is that they have a maritime heritage. The construction of their wind machine owes much to the art of shipbuilding. Carpo, the carpenter, prides himself on building a waterproof vessel, and even Poulo knows how to steer a course, even if he does manage to break the ship's wheel.


All Aboard!

For all the Trobbit riffing that goes on here at Bad Idea Productions, the Trobbits aren't always unbearable. Again, as in Nitpick #1, it depends on who's writing the episode. It also depends on the character. Rif’s griping can get on one’s nerves, as can Poulo’s annoying whistling (get this Trobbit some Hooked On Phonics already!), and the writers never explained why the elderly Burble is so childish. Gossamer is occasionally overrused, while Terra, Burble and Carpo are reduced to Trobbit extras. This is a shame, because after the crusty Balkar, gardener Terra with his habit of talking directly to the Sagar Tree is probably the most interesting character. However, their actions often cause trouble for everyone else. If one of our heroes gets into trouble, the Trobbits naturally have to stage a rescue attempt, and always manage to botch it royally. Nor are they the sharpest tools in the shed. In "Crown of the Sorceress," they must guard a certain jewel against the demon-sorceress trying to steal it from them. So what do they do? Lock it in a safe or place it in a secure pouch? No, they carry it around like a marble so some bird can snatch and fly away with it.
A Shortcut to Mushrooms

The Trobbits are best known by their association with the Sagar Tree. At some point in the past, they gave up their maritime existence and became the guardians of this living source of magic. Okay, I'll buy that, but I'm not sure I see the logic in actually living in the Tree. The thought of someone starting a fire there is rather alarming, even if it is only to cook something--one little grease fire and there goes the neighborhood. I mean, would you want somebody with a flame in his hat living under your branches, especially in a dry season?

6. I Can Be Whomever You Want Me to Be:
Klone is undoubtedly the most underused, underappreciated character in the entire series. I'm not going to go into the scientific implausibility of shapechanging, since we've already accepted that, yes, human beings can take a magic carpet ride through a black hole and survive. But just stop for a moment and think about the possibilities of a character that can change into anything? I mean, anything. A cloud cat, a dragon, your Aunt Rose. And what do the writers do? They make Klone into a third (not even second) banana who usually ends up in trouble or babysitting the Trobbits; you decide which is the worse punishment.


Tired of Being Second Banana

In "Lightning City of the Clouds," our heroes need a stand-in for Blackstar. The logical thing to do is simply ask the resident shapeshifter to fill in, don't you think? But no, Mara gets this brilliant idea that Poulo's life-sized Blackstar ice sculpture centerpiece is the better choice to do battle against the ice-king Crios.

The one exception to this rule is the episode "Tree of Evil." Yeah, it's your classic horror story. Our heroes take a wrong turn one stormy night and end up at the Sagar Tree on Acid, which is simply stocked with some of the Overlord's lovely Halloween party favors. Sure, Blackstar makes time with an underage dryad chick and has to save the world from some nasty pods and an evil twin, but it's really Klone's episode. Right from the beginning, he confesses that, hey, sometimes he gets tired of being a heroic dude and saving the world, and once he gets sucked into an evil pod and transformed, gets to prove to everybody--especially Blackstar--what a misanthropic bastard he can really be. The series needed more episodes like this one, and at least one where the shapeshifter with the goofy sideburns and blue eyes the size of platters gets the girl.

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