****************************************************** The Spell Series - Compiled By Kelli Rocherolle kelli@edgenet.net ****************************************************** All the roads we have to walk are winding, and all the lights that lead the way are blinding... -Oasis Spell 10: Believe Scully sighed as she turned off the shower and reached for her robe. She *really* didn't feel like going. Normally she didn't mind these Bureau functions, but she was tired, she hadn't slept well last night, and it had been one of those days at work. The last thing she wanted to do was get dressed up and go out. Why did they have to have these things in the middle of the week anyway? Mulder appeared behind her in the mirror dressed in his tux, his bow tie hanging loosely around his neck. He lifted a towel off its hook and draped it over her head, gently rubbing it back and forth over her wet hair. A heavy sigh drifted up from underneath the towel. Mulder continued to work at her hair. "What is it?" "I'm tired; I don't feel like going to this thing." "So don't go." "You're all ready..." "So I'll get unready." "No that's all right. Just give me a few minutes--" "Scully, don't go if you don't want to. I'll go make a quick appearance for the both of us and head back home." She reached up and pulled down the towel. "Your sure?" "Absolutely." Scully smiled gratefully at his reflection. And she remembered a night of another Bureau function, one that seemed so long ago, a night that held a first dance and a timid kiss that started their lives in a new and irreversible direction... {but sometimes Scully... I want you so badly it hurts...}. At first she didn't think she'd heard him right, because she couldn't possibly believe he'd say those words. As she studied the handsome face behind her now, she wondered once more what it was about her that had attracted him to her in the first place. Certainly she had a lot to offer a man, but Mulder was different (She had to admit, so was Joel). Mulder was one of those guys who'd never given her a second glance in school, one of those jocks who passed over the brainiacs for the cheer leading squad. But what she didn't know, was that Mulder had never been one of 'those' guys. That he'd been one of the bright, quiet kids, the loners who sat in the back of the class. *Exactly* the type of guy who would've daydreamed about the smart little red-haired girl in the front row. "Hello? Earth to Scully..." She focused quickly back at his reflection, pulling herself from her thoughts. "What are you daydreaming about Ralph Feinnes again?" "Very funny." "What he's not your type?" She smirked back at him. "Not necessarily." "Oh no?" He pulled her back into his arms. "So what is your type?" She smiled at his reflection through wisps of still-damp hair. "Tall dark and Spooky." Mulder smiled back, pulling her tighter against his chest. "How fortunate for me." Her eyes faltered as he started a steady stream of gentle kisses below her ear. "Stop that..." "Why?" he whispered. "You have to go..." "I can be late..." As his hands passed lightly over the front of her, the robe slipped off one of her shoulders. The corner of his mouth turned up in a devilish smile. "See, Scully, it's a sign from God." "God doesn't want you to have my body!" "How do you know?" They smiled at each other's reflections, then Mulder's face turned serious as he brought his lips right to her ear. He held her gaze in the mirror, his whisper warm at her ear. "Bend over for me..." Scully swallowed hard as his hand slipped underneath her robe. "You'll mess up your tux..." "I don't care..." ********************* Scully sat on the vanity, facing him as he stood before her. Their faces still flush with fulfillment, she worked steadily at his bow tie. When she'd tied it just right, she dropped her hands to her lap and smiled at him. He leaned in to rest his forehead against hers. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Now *I'm* tired." She brought her hands up to hold his face, gently caressing his jaw with her thumbs. "I better go." "Don't be long." "Don't worry." ************************* Scully was just heading back to the sofa to finish watching "ER", warm mug of tea in hand, when she heard Mulder at the door. He opened the door and started into the apartment as Scully stopped in the middle of the room to greet him. "Hi." "Look who I found..." Scully raised her eyebrows in anticipation. Mulder stepped aside as Phoebe Green walked into view. Scully's face froze at the sight of her. She looked stunning: the elegant emerald green gown she wore left little to the imagination; her dark hair was longer than the last time she'd seen her; it hung softly around her shoulders in a long, sleek bob. Scully self-consciously smoothed a stray strand of her own hair off her face. "Nice to see you again Scully." "Phoebe." Mulder shut the door. "They didn't tell us they were inviting some of Scotland Yard's finest to this shin-dig, Scully." "No." Mulder and Phoebe looked like they'd just stepped off the run-way at an Armani showing, calling sharp contrast to Scully's own baggy t- shirt and jeans... she wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole. Phoebe flashed her best 'screw-you' smile. "Too bad you couldn't make it, Scully, quite a party the Bureau throws." Behind her Mulder shook his head at Scully. Scully's eyes returned to Phoebe as she continued. "Anyway, hope you don't mind, but I thought I'd trouble my old friend Mulder for a ride home. Save me the cab fare and all." Scully's mouth curled into an expression that barely passed as a smile. "Not at all. So why the stop here?" "Oh, I just thought I'd take the opportunity to say hello. I'm leaving first thing tomorrow." "How nice." She was deliberately vague about which sentence she was responding to. "Well what do you say, Mulder," Phoebe crooned, slipping an arm through his, "shall we?" "Yeah sure." He broke from her hold and approached Scully, leaning in to give her a quick kiss. "Be right back." Scully locked the door behind them and leaned her forehead against the door. She was consumed with jealousy. Where was this coming from? Phoebe seemed to have the uncanny ability to push every one of her buttons in perfect succession... and she barely knew the woman. But what she was most concerned about was her ability to push Mulder's buttons; she knew how Phoebe affected him. That was blatantly obvious to her during that case they'd worked on. Mulder had said Phoebe was fire. Scully didn't doubt that for a second. **************************** Phoebe opened the door to her hotel room and turned back around to face Mulder, offering him a smile. "Have a safe trip." "Aren't you going to come in?" Mulder stared at her. "For just a minute?" "I don't think so Phoebe." "Oh. Well. Can I at least show you something before you go?" Mulder eyed her suspiciously. "I promise you can stay at the door." Mulder smiled, suddenly feeling overly paranoid and extremely ridiculous. He relaxed his posture and entered the hotel room. But when the door closed behind him, he did stay at the door. Phoebe moved to her bed, taking a book off of the night table and walking back to Mulder. "Remember this?" Oh yes, he remembered. It was an old book of poems they'd spent many a long night sitting in front of the fire going through, reading to each other, often not making it past two pages before becoming... distracted. Mulder swallowed. "How could I forget?" Her eyes were boring right through him, Mulder suddenly felt like he had a laser- sight on his forehead. "Well good night Phoebe." She turned slightly to throw the book back on the bed. She stepped closer, her body just touching his, preventing him from turning around. Her hands rested lightly on his chest. "You're not really going to rush out of here so quickly are you?" She leaned closer. "The night is still so young." She lightly brushed her lips over his. She felt his breath rush out sharply against her face, and she knew he was hers. She smiled in delight. The sirens went off in his head, and he cursed himself for letting Phoebe have this effect on him. He would *not* do this. But then she was pressing her tall and slender frame against him, and he was overwhelmed by the familiar smell of her, of the feel of her body, and the memories those sensations stirred in him. His hands found her waist, and they were shaking badly. "Phoebe," he started weakly, "I told you about Scully and me..." Her voice fell gently against his lips, her eyes never left his. "I know. But I'm certainly not going to tell anyone. After all, here we are in this hotel room... alone. Seems a shame to waste it." One hand slid up around his neck while the other pulled his bow tie loose. "Two ex-lovers, reunited, sneaking one more moment together..." She unfastened his top button. "Can you think of anything more exciting?" she whispered. Mulder brought his trembling hands up to lower her arms. "Yeah. Yeah I can: fidelity." He took hold of her upper arms and gently forced her back a step before releasing her. Phoebe's face fell in genuine surprise; she wasn't used to being rejected, especially by Mulder. She straightened. "Well," she conceded, her voice brisk with rejection, "she certainly has you chained doesn't she?" "You never did get it, did you Phoebe." It wasn't a question. "I suppose not. At any rate, I do have an early flight tomorrow." Mulder shrugged at her and offered back the sarcasm she was so adept at. "And I thought we were friends. Gee I feel so... used." "Good night, Mulder." "Good bye Phoebe." ******************************** Scully paced restlessly in her apartment. What was taking so long? How far away was her hotel anyway? Her stomach twisted into knots. Mulder wouldn't...would he? No, she trusted him. She had to believe he wouldn't do that. And she did; she did believe in him-- in them. But she didn't trust Phoebe; she was a master manipulator. Phoebe knew the effect she had on Mulder, and used it to her advantage. Scully turned quickly to face the door at the sound of keys in the lock. Mulder came in and shut the door, throwing his keys onto the side table. He was finding it hard to make eye contact with Scully, he was feeling guilty; guilty for letting Phoebe have that control over him. He had come out on top this time, but he was angry with himself for responding to Phoebe the way he did. His body seemed to remember perfectly what his mind had spent over a decade trying to forget. Scully waited for him to look at her. When he finally met her eyes, she couldn't ignore what she saw there: guilt. Her heart sank. Mulder waved his hand at her, immediately on the defensive. "Don't. Don't even start with me, Scully. Not after all the crap I had to put up with with Joel." "What happened Mulder?" "Nothing happened." She stared at him, then motioned toward his neck. "Why is your bow tie undone?" Mulder wasn't going to touch that one. "I loosened it myself on the way home Scully. I told you: *nothing* happened." Scully watched him for several seconds. She placed a palm against her forehead. "I believe you, Mulder." She dropped the hand back to her side and took a deep breath. "I do. It's just... why would you even offer to take her home in the first place?" "I didn't. She asked me for a ride. What was I supposed to say? No?" She folded her arms in front of her. "Works for me." "Come on Scully--" "What? OK, so if I ran into Joel somewhere and he asked for a ride home--" "That's a completely different situation; you know that." Yes, she did know that. But the jealously was coursing through her like molten lava, and as much as she hated it, wanted to be rid of it, she was powerless against it. It was almost as if she wanted an excuse to lash out at him, to hurt him. "Did you dance with her?" Busted. "One dance... her request, not mine." That image only fueled the fire. Scully shook her head at him. Her anger and jealousy had reached boiling point; she didn't know where it was all coming from, and was helpless as she felt it spinning out of control. "It was just a dance, Scully." "It wasn't just a dance for us, Mulder." "But it *was* for me and Phoebe." Scully scoffed at him. "Well, the last time I saw you two dancing it was anything but 'just a dance'. I don't get you, Mulder. What is it with you and Phoebe? Is that what you want? Do you even know what you want?" Mulder had had enough. She knew he had no doubts about what he wanted; that her leaving him had nearly destroyed him. He walked over to her and turned her around to face the mirror on the far wall. He walked her towards the mirror until they were just in front of it. "*This* is what I want, Scully. You. Just you." Scully stared at their reflection for a long time. Her eyes met his in the mirror. "What's wrong with us, Mulder?" "There's nothing wrong with us, Scully." "Then why do we keep doing this? Shouldn't it be easier?" He was silent a minute before answering. "I think..." he shrugged at her reflection. "I think this isn't healed yet, Scully. *We're* not healed." She turned around to face him, her eyebrows drawn together in concern. "What do you mean?" His voice was low as he spoke to her, as if he feared someone might over hear them though there was no one else in the room. "I know we talked about it. Once. But we've never talked about it since. And I think you still have a lot of unresolved feelings about it, a lot of resentment toward me..." he was reluctant to actually say the words "...about the miscarriage." She turned quickly away from him and started to walk away. "I don't want to talk about this right now, Mulder." He reached out and took hold of her arm. "Mulder--" "Don't walk away from this, Scully." She pushed away from him. "I *don't* want to talk about this!" She shoved him back a step. "Especially not with you!" She stopped, bringing her eyes to meet his, stunned by her own reaction. Mulder just stood there blinking at her, that still-sensitive scar splitting wide open. She dropped her gaze to his chest, unable to meet his eyes. "Mulder... I'm sorry..." He went to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. The tears welled in her eyes. "I don't blame you. I don't want to feel this way..." "It's all right, Scully. I know." He pulled her against his chest. Her words were muffled through his shirt. "Things could've been so different for us, Mulder." "Maybe. But who's to say they would've been better?" She sighed heavily. "I don't know, I keep thinking about that day you came to see me-- in the elevator. If only I hadn't turned you away... all that time we wasted..." They were quiet for a long time. Mulder caressed her back, holding her close before venturing to broach the miscarriage topic again. "Do you ever think about it, Scully?" She nodded against his chest. After a minute she finished, her voice thin and high. "Why does it hurt so much? Is this normal?" "Like I said: it's just not finished yet." "Then what can we do?" "I don't think there's anything we can do. I think it's just going to take time." "Well that's depressing." "No it's not. I never expected this to always be easy, Scully. And I don't care. However long it takes, as long as I'm with you, that's all that matters to me." She tightened her hold on him. "I love you. I need you, I don't want you to ever think I don't need you." Mulder tilted her head up to look at him with a single finger, then smoothed the hair off her tear streaked face. He kissed her forehead, she offered a small smile in return. "Come snuggle with me on the couch," he said, taking her hands and leading her with him. "Come on." He smiled at her. "I think they're replaying the Giants-Redskins game on ESPN..." "Wonderful," she said, her voice flat with sarcasm, "I've been waiting all day..." **************************** They didn't venture to the cafeteria often. In fact they avoided it as much as possible. Scully was sure the fact that they were more than partners was blatantly obvious to anyone who saw them together. She knew rumors about them had circulated long before anything had actually happened between them, but now, now that there was truth to those rumors, she found them impossible to tolerate. But today, they were extremely rushed and had been buried down in their office under piles of paperwork. There was no denying it, it was simply easier to eat at the cafeteria today. Sensing her tension, Mulder started to bump his tray impatiently against hers as if to hurry her along. Scully looked nervously around them. "Mulder stop that." "Why?" He gave it another push. "You're calling unnecessary attention to us." "Nobody's interested. You're being paranoid, Scully." She pulled two bottled waters off the counter, motioning with one of them alternately to him and back to herself. "Pot-- kettle?" She placed one of the bottles on his tray. He smiled back and stepped closer. "Mulder..." she cautioned. "People are going to be finding out soon enough, Scully." She stared back at him, knowing he was right. But until it was official, she'd rather not call attention to the fact. Mulder leaned into her ear, a mischievous smile brightening his face. "I want you right here, Scully. Right here on the counter in front of the beef stew-like substance..." "I'd rather we move down in front of the potatoes..." she joked back. His face was solemn in mock disappointment. "What you're not interested in my meat, Scully?" Her eyes widened as she looked at him... and she suddenly had the worst case of church laughter she could remember having since Sister Breida's 9th grade catechism class. She brought her eyes back to the tray and moved quickly down to the end of the line, desperate to get out of there before she burst out laughing. Scully eyed him admonishingly as they approached the elevator with their trays, but she was having a hard time stifling her smile. "You're incorrigible, Mulder." He grinned back at her. ****************************** Back in the safety of the basement office, they discussed their new case over lunch. As they talked, Scully could see that old familiar gleam in his eye, something she hadn't seen for a long time: the thrill of the hunt. "I'm telling you, Scully. There's something there... I can just feel it. The first real X-file we've had in a long time." "Well there was that yam with the face of Hitler in Mississippi..." "I'm serious, Scully. Look at this. Nobody's lived in this house since the late 1920's. The last family who lived there just got up and left in the middle of the night, left everything right there in the house. Now it's become the next Amityville; no one will go near it, let alone buy it. "Mulder those are ghost stories. A haunted house? Every town has one." "Not like this. Last Halloween three kids broke in on a dare. The two that came out are still in treatment for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." Scully raised her eyebrows at him, but was still reluctant to buy the story. "Well, kids get scared, Mulder. When I was eight years old a girl in my class was treated for an acute case of PTSD when she was sure a monster had come out of the woods and attacked her. Turned out it was the neighbor's dog." "Yeah, but the difference here is, these 'kids' were seventeen." Scully stared at him, admittedly surprised. "Well what did the kids that did make it out say?" "They say the mirrors in that house have eyes." *********************************** "My God, Mulder." The car came to a stop in front of the old house. "It really does look like a haunted house." Mulder unfastened his seatbelt and looked at the house. It was a large three-story Victorian, windows and doors long since boarded up. The house stood on a large piece of property; there were no other houses in the immediate vicinity. Mulder suddenly wondered why they always seem to be checking these things out a night. After prying their way through the boards that barricaded the front door, they stood in the foyer of the old Victorian. Mulder turned on his flashlight and surveyed their surroundings. Scully was right: it looked exactly like a haunted house. Sheets were draped over most of the furniture, a thick layer of dust blanketed everything in sight, and cobwebs adorned various objects in the room. Moonlight through stained glass cast an eerie bluish hue to the house's interior. Scully turned on her own flashlight and aimed it in the direction of the stair case. "I'll go upstairs." Mulder nodded and headed off toward the kitchen. Rats scattered off the table as he entered the room, dishes and plates were laid out as if expecting some ghostly guests. Festering pots and pans filled the sink. Mulder could hear the creaking of Scully's footsteps on the floorboards above him as he moved to the dining area, then to the living room. There didn't seem to be anything particularly out of the ordinary about the house itself... except-- Mulder quickly turned the beam of his flashlight to far wall of the living room. The mirror on the other side reflected back its light. He went back to the dining room, then to the kitchen. Every room had a mirror, even the kitchen. A large, ornate mirror that seemed to be the centerpiece of every room. They were of various shapes, but all of them were almost floor to ceiling. Mulder approached the one to the side of a counter in the large kitchen. Something about the reflection of his flashlight was off: it wasn't coming straight back at him like it should have. It was at an angle, and it appeared to be shifting. Mulder approached it, attempting to adjust his flashlight so that the glare wouldn't prevent him from getting a better look. He caught sight of an old kerosene lamp on the table. Mulder lit the wick and turned up the light brightly, illuminating the room in a dim glow. He looked back at the mirror. At first he thought the light from the old lamp was playing tricks with his eyes, but then he realized it was no trick: the mirror was reflecting back the room, but not *this* room. The room it was reflecting had a bed and chair, along with an old armoire. Mulder guessed it was one of the bedrooms upstairs. As he stepped closer for a better look, a dark shadow passed through the reflection. He stepped closer and he saw the shadow again, it moved slightly every time he made a move, as if luring him closer and closer... Mulder stopped and took a step backward, then another, and as he did so the figure headed right towards him. He took a few more steps backwards, and as he suspected, the figure passed into the room. Mulder froze and watched it with fear and fascination. It was somewhat humanoid in form, though not defined. It floated around the room like a piece of tissue paper in the wind, but there seemed to be a sense of purpose in its movements. Mulder held his breath as it approached, circling behind him. Out of instinct, his hand slowly moved to his holster. With a strong gust of air the figure rushed at him and before he knew what was happening, it could've only been a matter of seconds, he found himself chained to a pipe directly above his head with his own handcuffs. He twisted around to look behind him, then to the rest of the room. The figure was gone. A beam of light swept suddenly through the kitchen and Mulder swung his head around to its source: it was coming from the mirror. As Mulder watched with escalating fear, he could see the light was coming from a flashlight: Scully's flashlight. He could see her in the mirror, entering the bedroom and starting her exploration. As he continued to watch her, her light came to rest on the mirror. She started to approach it. "Scully don't!" he called out instinctively, though it was useless, the large room swallowed his words. He looked up at the pipe he was secured to. It was old and gave the slightest as he pulled on it. He began to yank on it with more force. He looked briefly back at the mirror and saw that Scully had moved away from the mirror and was investigating the old armoire. He continued to work at the pipe, shooting a glance to the mirror every few seconds. Mulder stopped when he saw Scully inevitably turned her attention back to that ornate looking-glass. "No Scully... come on stay away from the mirror," he muttered out loud to himself. He let the full force of his weight pull at the pipe. Looking back at the mirror, he could see her coming closer.... He tugged with increasing desperation at the pipe, until he could feel thick streams of warm blood running down inside his sleeves from his wrists. Suddenly, with a loud creaking noise, the old pipe came loose at the joint and Mulder slipped his arms free. Stumbling through the swinging kitchen door, he immediately headed for the staircase and bolted up to the second floor. He flung open the door to the first room he came to, and luck was with him: it was the right room. Scully was standing just in front of the mirror as he entered. "Scully!" She turned around quickly to face him, startled. "God Mulder you scared me, what--" Mulder watched as something appeared in the mirror behind her, the same dark shadow he'd seen down stairs. It came slightly out and pulled her back against the mirror. But instead of coming up against it, she was pulled right through its surface like a sinking piece of driftwood in a pool of water. In a matter of seconds she was gone. Mulder quickly shoved his hands into his pocket and fished out the key to his handcuffs. With trembling but determined hands, he successfully released his wrists and moved for the mirror. He paused just in front of it, raising his hands up at the face of the mirror. The surface appeared unstable, almost liquid, a dark silver gray that suddenly had stopped reflecting. Grimacing, Mulder braced himself and pushed his hands through the substance. It had looked like liquid, but was gelatinous to the touch. His hands found her just inside, and he took hold of the lapels of her trench coat and started to pull her out. She came to him slowly, like a fly through honey, until he had dragged her completely out of the mirror. As he did so, a loud cracking noise came from the mirror. Mulder took a few steps away and lay her on the floor, covering her with his own body as the mirror smashed into a million pieces. The deafening sound fell on his ears in a symphony of breaking glass as every other mirror in the house exploded one after the other. In a few seconds the house was once again silent. Mulder sat back up and looked at Scully. Her entire body was coated with the substance; thick globs stuck to the skin of her face and neck. Images of a nightmare that had hunted him came seeping into his mind along with an increasing sense of dread. "Scully?" Mulder pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, for once finding a use for the stupid thing, and started wiping the goop off of her mouth. He leaned in to her face. Short, warm little gusts of air fell against his lips. She was breathing-- unconscious but breathing. With a great sense of relief he placed a kiss just to the side of her mouth, oblivious to the gooey substance that now covered his own lips. He pressed his cheek against hers. "You're OK..." he whispered. I'm here, it's OK." He wasn't completely sure who exactly he was comforting. He got her out of the house as quickly as possible, then dialed for the paramedics on his cell phone. ************************ Mulder sat at Scully's bedside holding her hand. "How you feeling?" "OK." She had been cleaned and changed into a hospital gown, but she still couldn't shake the feeling of having that stuff all over her. "You?" Her eyes moved to his bandaged wrists. "It's nothing." She looked at Mulder uneasily. "What happened, Mulder? That mirror..." "I know Scully. There *was* something in that house. But now we'll never know." "What are you taking about?" "There was a fire. The entire place burned right down to the ground." "But how--" "I left a lantern on in the kitchen, but somehow I don't think that was the cause. There was quite a crowd gathering when the ambulance blew out of there. I wonder if maybe the locals had had enough of that place. At least--" They both turned their heads towards the door as the doctor entered. He stopped at the foot of her bed. "Agent Scully..." he paused as he flipped through her chart. "Let's see..." He looked up at her, then uncomfortably at Mulder. "And you are?" "Agent Scully's partner." The doctor gave a quick nod. "Well if you'll excuse us I need to talk to your partner alone." Mulder and Scully exchanged a look. Scully brought her gaze back to the doctor, her face filled with concern. "It's all right, he can stay. What is it, Doctor?" "Well if your sure..." he cleared his throat uncomfortably. "We ran some routine tests when you were brought in..." Scully nodded impatiently, she knew the procedures, she wanted the quid pro quo. "...and ah," his eyes shifted back and forth between the two agents, "it looks like your pregnant." They both stared blankly back at the doctor, and at first he had the impression they hadn't heard him. Then he remembered seeing in her demographic information that she was not married, so chances were this wasn't *good* news. But still, this was a most unusual reaction. "Well, if you have any questions, I'll be on the floor, or you can call for one of the nurses." He turned and left the room. Mulder and Scully looked at each other. A few months ago they'd decided to experiment with other methods of birth control, and in fact had only recently decided that Scully was going to go back on the Pill; it was just easier. But somewhere in that experimenting, something had slipped through the cracks... literally. Mulder offered the slightest smile, attempting to lighten the mood. "You know we really gotta do something about our birth control, Scully." She gave her best effort at a smile back, then turned her head away as her eyes filled with tears. How could this happen... again? Was this fate's idea of a cruel joke? Were they condemned to repeat the same patterns? To make the same mistakes? Mulder moved to sit next to her on the bed, leaning in close to her face. "Hey." She turned back to look at him, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "It's all right. We'll be all right." She continued to looked at him. And she wanted to believe. End Part 10 ********************************************* Spell 11: Demons Mulder kissed her hand as she lay in the hospital bed. "Well you know what this means, don't you?" She raised her eyebrows at him. "I'll be doing the cat box for the next few months..." Then she had to smile, and she loved him for it. He could always make her smile, and she was grateful to him for helping her feeling better. Maybe, just maybe, they would be all right after all. "That's right, toxoplasmosis: a valid excuse." "Come on, let me take you home. We've got some steaks in the fridge, I'll broil them up, a couple of baked potatoes, some broccoli..." She grimaced. "Broccoli?" "OK peas." "Peas are good." "Good. We'll have a quiet dinner at home." The thought of a home-cooked meal sounded great; they spent so much time eating take-out. She sighed heavily. "What?" "Thank God one of us can cook. At least the baby won't grow up on House of Hunan." He smiled at her; it was a good sign that she was even thinking that far ahead. "I can teach you some things, Scully: toast, spaghetti" "I'm not *that* deficient, thank you." "I seem to recall some hockey pucks you made for us last month--" "Mulder you have to cook hamburgers well or you risk e.coli infection," she said through her grin. "Well they did make nice paperweights..." She scoffed in disbelief at his insult, but was unable to contain her smile. "...hey, think you could make me a meat loaf? I've been needing a door stop for the office." She closed her eyes and shook her head at him, but her bright smile delighted him to no end. Mulder grinned back at her as she opened her eyes to look at him. After a moment their faces turned serious. Mulder took her hand in his. "Come on, we'll go home, have some dinner, then... we need to talk." ****************************** Dinner was wonderful. Years of bachelor hood had fashioned quite a cook out of Mulder... for Scully it had only increased her collection of take-out menus. When dinner was finished, they took care of the dishes, Mulder washing, Scully drying. Not a word was spoken between them, both of their thoughts occupied with what they knew they had to talk about, with what they had to face. When they were done, Scully folded her arms in front of her and leaned against the counter. Mulder dried his hands and approached her, resting his hands on her shoulders. She looked apprehensively at him and he gave her a reassuring smile. He slid an arm around her shoulders and led her to the couch. They sat quietly in the silence of their impending conversation. Mulder wondered how he could make her understand. He'd tried to tell her before how her disappearance had nearly destroyed him, but he didn't think she really comprehended the magnitude of his loss. He remembered that first case after she'd come back: the Firewalker investigation. He had worried over her like a mother hen, despite her assurances that she was fine, that she was back. Then he was in that dark cave with Trepkos, his greatest fear realized, sick with the thought of Scully being back at the site, alone and in danger. {...I have a colleague, a friend, who's with O'Neil right now, let me go to her...} Not even a gun to his head could stop him because there was no way he was going to relive that nightmare, to have her return just to be taken away again. {...well then I guess you'll have to shoot me, because I'm walking out of here...} Maybe to make her understand where he'd been coming from, he needed to tell her how much he'd wanted that baby, too; how important it had been to him, but that ultimately he had to choose her life, because she was *his* life. Mulder braced himself and turned towards her on the couch. "We need to talk about the miscarriage." Scully's brows came together as she turned her head to look at him. She had thought he wanted to talk about the baby they were expecting, not the one they'd lost. "Mulder we just talked about this, it's in the past." "No, there are some things I want to make sure are clear to you. I love you; you know that. I loved you then--" "I wish you'd loved me enough to respect my decision--" Once again Scully was surprised at her own words and with the bitterness with which those words had been spoken. But there they were, hanging in the air between them. She lowered her gaze. Mulder swallowed. "It wasn't that, Scully. I respect your decisions, you know that. But I didn't know what kind of state you were in; if you were capable of making such a choice. I had to go with what the doctors recommended." He gripped her hand, his voice was low: "I'd make the same choice again." He looked over at her, but she wouldn't meet his eyes, she was staring at the floor with her hand over her mouth. "I don't think you have any idea what your being taken away did to me. I know we talked about it a bit. But I don't think you understand. I would never, *never* choose anything, any *one* over you. I want to be totally clear on that." His voice, which had been strong up until this point, began to weaken as he continued. "That wasn't an easy decision for me, Scully. How could you think that? I wanted that baby as much as you did; I wanted us to be a family. I didn't care about timing, about the Bureau, our families. Nothing else mattered to me, Scully. Just us, and that little person we had created out of our love for each other. Do you understand? Am I making any sense?" The tears were streaming down her face. And somehow, she understood; for the first time she really did feel like she understood. Why did it seem so clear to her now? Because of all they'd been through since? Because of where they were now? Because they had a second chance? Or was it simply because she was ready to see it? To release that pain? She sniffed and shifted to sit forward on the couch. "Mulder, I do understand. I wanted that, too. It hurt me so much to lose that dream... " she closed her eyes and lowered her face as her voice broke. Mulder gave a reassuring squeeze to her hand and she continued, her voice tight with tears. "I guess it was just hard for me to believe it could happen for no reason, that it was all so senseless. It was easier to blame someone. I needed to blame someone, and I struck out at the person I loved the most." She buried her face in her hands, the words were coming out through the hot sting of tears. "I hurt you so much. I hurt us so much. I'm sorry..." And then Mulder was holding her, her body racked with quiet sobs, with the painful process of exorcising demons, and his heart was breaking; it was unbearable to see her like this. She turned towards him and they held each other for a long time, clinging to each other like two castaways in an ocean storm. After a while, Mulder brought his hands up to hold her face, catching her tears in his palms. "It's all right," he soothed. "Please don't cry anymore. We're OK; I understand, I always have." Mulder kissed her softly, both their faces hot and sticky with salty tears, then again. "I love you, don't cry." He kissed her again, and again, and the passion started to rise between them. Mulder pulled away. "No," she whispered breathlessly, bringing her arms up around his neck. "I want to be close to you; I need to be close to you." He lay her back on the couch and kissed her again. "I want you..." she whispered into his mouth. And soon they were moving together, having made their way hastily to each other. They were untamed, raw with emotion. It was a sweet, wild ride; sex, pure and simple-- but then, sex between two people who love each other is never truly so. They lay there afterward emotionally and physically exhausted, and were soon fast asleep. Mulder slept peacefully, freed from his nightmare. But Scully would live her nightmare one last time. She had had this dream ever since the miscarriage; it haunted her endlessly from that very first night. She was lying in a bed, in a hospital gown, no pillow, no blankets to keep her warm. The room was fairly dark, though she was vaguely aware of dim moonlight from somewhere behind her. At first it was silent, the only sound she was aware of was her own breathing as she drew in shallow breaths. But then the demons would come: dark, shadowy, ghost-like figures that would slide down the walls around her; slowly falling like sinister rain. But the worst part was the screeching, like nothing she'd ever heard before-- a high pitched, shrill shrieking as they descended the walls that tore through her very soul. As the awful sound continued its relentless torment of her ears, it changed, grew quieter and more hollow... she realized what it was: she could hear the far off sounds of a baby crying. Disturbing in its distant, relentless pleas. She sat up on the bed and looked around the room. To the left of a door in front of her, sitting on a chair and staring intently back at her, was a wolf. At first she was frightened, but it made no move to harm her. It just kept sitting there, watching her. Why wouldn't that baby stop crying? Desperate to get away from that horrible noise, she would bolt from the bed and head for the door she knew would be locked as it always was. But as she ran to it, she skidded on the slippery floor and fell to her hands and knees. She looked down and saw that the floor was wet-- with blood, it was pooling around her wrists and ankles. She stood and looked down. With horror she realized the source of the blood: she could see it was running down her legs, it seemed to be streaming out faster and faster and why did there have to be so much blood? She continued to move towards the door though her feet were mired in the thick red liquid, thicker and stickier than blood should ever be. Slowly, finally, she reached the door and grasped the knob. As she was tugging at the door which as she suspected would not budge, a deep, low sound from the corner caught her attention. She turned her head quickly to the wolf. From this angle she could see the animal was chained to the wall. It was growling and baring its teeth at something behind her. The tiny hairs on the back of her neck prickled. Normally, the dream would end as she turned to find a dark figure standing behind her, only the two, small, faceless red eyes visible as they gleamed back at her, like the devil himself had stepped right out of hell to drag her back with him, and she would be sent sitting upright awake in bed. But tonight, it was different. She turned around and the bed was gone; the demons were gone, and there were no red eyes shining back at her. And Mulder was standing in front of her, cradling a little baby in his arm. She glanced up at him. His face was calm, content, strangely assured. He offered her a comforting smile. Then she couldn't take her eyes off the baby-- she stared at it; that beautiful, happy, healthy baby. She clamped her hands over her nose and mouth as her eyes filled with tears. Mulder gently stroked her hair. "It's all right, Scully. You don't have to come here anymore." He pulled her against his chest. "You don't have to come here anymore." Scully stirred in her sleep, a single tear running down her cheek and disappearing into her hair. A hint of a smile surfaced on her lips. And for the rest of the night they enjoyed a deep, heavy, rejuvenating slumber. It was well after noon before they stirred. Mulder stretched, inadvertently pulling the small throw blanket off of her back as he did. A chill spread through her thin blouse to her shoulders. "Hey..." she moaned sleepily. "Sorry." She turned to snuggle against his chest. He sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. "We better get going, we don't want to be too late." "Mulder... I've got news for you." She brought her wrist up to his face. He held her wrist as he examined the watch. Quarter to one. Oh boy. "Do you want to call Skinner or should I?" Scully shifted to lie on top of him. "Later." She ran her fingers through his hair as she placed a stream of the tiniest kisses along his bottom lip. Mulder's hands moved to hold her waist and slipped up underneath her blouse to caress her back. He stopped suddenly. Scully regarded him with confusion. "What?" "I can't do this while he's watching." Scully followed his gaze to the back of the couch, where Owen was perched watching them. She turned back to Mulder and smiled. "Maybe he's gathering information to send back to the mother ship." "I wouldn't doubt it." He shooed the cat off and turned his attention back to the beautiful woman in his arms. He looked into her eyes, and an elation swelled through him; because he could see so clearly that she was there... *all* of her, even that small part of her soul that she'd kept locked away since the miscarriage. Could it be true? That they were healed? Finally? Completely? A strange sense of peace settled on him, and he did believe it was real. No matter what the future might hold for them, whatever arguments they might have, whatever obstacles would undoubtedly fall across their paths, this particular wound had closed. He brought his lips to hers, savoring every second of the sensation. The kissing escalated until he holding her tightly against him, driven wild with wanting her. Sex with her was like nothing he'd ever experienced before, because his desire for her was so inextricably wound up in the affection he felt for her. And it never waned. Soon they were joined together, her hair brushing gently against his face as her body moved back and forth over him like a flowing river. With every ounce of self-control that he possessed, he held out until she had buried her face in his neck, her body tensing with waves of sweet bliss as she slowed her movement on top of him. Not breaking from their embrace, he sat up to lean against the back of the couch as she knelt over him. He kissed the hollow of her neck, her collarbone. "Will you do something for me?" he whispered into her neck. "Mmm?" He moved to the other side of her neck. He hesitated before continuing. "Talk to me..." At first she wasn't sure what he meant, then she smiled with realization and brought her lips to his ear, whispering softly to him as he tightened his hold on her. And then he was drowning completely in her presence, his arousal skyrocketing as she knelt above him, seducing everyone one of his senses into a frenzy. He moved with increasing purpose, pulling her tighter and tighter against him until his breath had rushed out in a quick gust of satisfaction. His body slowly relaxed. Mulder smiled as she kissed his neck and shoulders. "Now where did a nice Catholic girl learn to talk like that?" "I borrowed some of your videos... " Mulder seemed to pale but she continued. "I think it was 'Star Trek: the Next Penetration'... or was it 'Sperms of Endearment'?" Noting his reaction, Scully paused momentarily. "Well I was just kidding but now you've got me curious. Just what kind of videos do you have? Maybe I'll have to do some after-hours investigating of my own..." "It's not that, Scully, it's just..." he shrugged at her "...that was a long time ago, before you," he avoided her gaze. "... before us..." She looked at him, unable to discern exactly what was going through his head; what was flustering him this way. Then she knew. She hadn't recognized it because it was an emotion she'd never seen Fox Mulder express before: he was embarrassed. She took his face in her hands. "Mulder, I'm just teasing you." He gave her a quick nod, anxious to change the subject. "So what do you want to do today?" She smiled slyly at him. "Besides that." ************************************ Two plane tickets and rental car agreements were waiting for them the next day when they went back to work. Apparently Skinner had decided they were to investigate a ring of serial killings in a small town outside of Cedar Rapids, Iowa. The police were baffled: in a town with a population this small the investigation should have been progressing more rapidly. But the suspect continued to elude police with surprising ease. After spending a day of tracking useless leads, they finally got their most valuable information from a local vagrant at the greasy spoon they'd decided to dine at. It was late, so they would check it out tomorrow night; according to the transient the suspect only went there at nightfall for a place to sleep. For receipts and invoices sake, they had reserved the usual two rooms, but one went unused. They lay together now in the motel's large bed, thinking over the leads so far. At least that's what Scully thought they were thinking about. When she turned her head to look at Mulder, he was lying on his side, head resting on the pillow, staring at her intensely. Even in the dim room she could see that his eyes were dark and he was in one of his moods. Since they'd become involved, the moods had become less frequent, but she suspected they would never disappear all together. Those dark, brooding moods of his were just part of his nature. She rolled over on her side to face him, matching his position, and lay a hand on his cheek. "What's the matter?" she asked softly. She delighted in the warmth of his face against her hand, of stubble against her palm. She was sure she would die if she were never able to touch that face again. After a moment he answered her. "This scares me sometimes, Scully." She gently stroked his hair. "What?" "This, the way I feel about you. When I'm with you, I have this... strength, this sense of invincibility. But at the same time, I've never felt weaker in my life." "Mulder--" "What would I do if I lost you? I--" "Mulder I'm not going anywhere," she reassured him. She inched closer to him on the bed. "I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." He stared at her for a long moment. His hand stretched out across the bed to her and he gently ran a finger over her bottom lip as he whispered. "I'm so lucky." The slightest smile surfaced on her lips as she edged closer. She shook her head at him. "Not lucky." She kissed his lips softly. "Special." He reached for her and pulled her into a hug as they faced each other on the bed. She rolled onto her back and patted the area just below her collarbone. "Come here." He complied, nuzzling his face into the warmth and sweet scent of her neck as he draped an arm across her midsection. Remembering that night he'd done the same for her, she gently caressed his hair until she was sure he was asleep, then let herself drift quietly after him. In the morning the mood was gone and he was his usual self again, teasing her about hoarding the covers in the night and speculating about their current case. They showered and ordered in breakfast before heading out. The old factory was cool and damp. They moved slowly through the decrepit building, only the sound of decades of debris and broken glass cracking beneath their footsteps breaking the haunted silence. They had forgone their flashlights for the bright incandescent moonlight streaming through the broken windows and weather- beaten roof. Scully was beginning to realize that their suspect was not in the vicinity. They exchanged a look in the eerie moonlight: he's not here. Scully, looking at Mulder as he began to put away his weapon, thought how ghostly he looked in that bluish- white light the moon cast. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she caught the slightest hint of movement; a shadow sliding against a wall-- "MULDER!" Scully screamed seeing the gun rise out of that dark shadow. Without a second thought, she stepped in front of him. Mulder looked up quickly in the direction of the adjoining room and at the same time saw her move in front of him. Before he could realize what was happening, he felt her tense against him and begin to falter as the bullet pierced her upper right back. Their eyes met, a moment between them that seemed to last an eternity. Her eyes fluttered gently as she struggled to maintain consciousness. Mulder put his arms around her to keep her from collapsing to the floor. "Scully?... Scully?!". He pulled himself together, reaching with one hand to draw his gun. Still supporting her with one arm, he desperately displayed the weapon before him to ward off further shots. But it was unnecessary; the gunman was long gone. Mulder dropped his gun and knelt down, lowering [Scully the rest of the way to the floor. He lay her gently down and reached for his cell phone-- and stopped dead. His hands were soaked with blood... her blood. He began to tremble violently, his head started to whirl tempestuously... shaking his head quickly to compose himself, he grabbed his cellular and phoned for paramedics. ********************************* Later, in the hospital, Mulder paced anxiously in the visitor's lounge, nervously squeezing his upper lip. It seemed like they'd spent *far* too much time in hospitals lately. He couldn't help but feel that they were tempting fate; how long could they go on like this before something horrible would happen? Maybe it already had... He shook that idea out of his head and his thoughts returned to the present situation. He had made sure every person who came into contact with her knew that she was pregnant; he was scared to death of repeating the same mistakes. What the hell was taking so long? He turned and headed for the door, resolved to accosting the head nurse until he got some information. But the doctor's appearance in the doorway of the lounge obviated such measures. "Doctor..." "Agent Mulder, your partner sustained a great amount of blood loss. But we were able to replace most of it through transfusions and stop the bleeding. We removed the bullet." He dropped into Mulder's hand the flattened remains of the round. "The baby?" "Fine, they're both fine. She's coming out of the anesthesia now. A bit groggy, but you can see her." He paused, watching the man before him stare blankly at the bullet in his hand; and it was very clear to him that these two people were much more than partners. "She's in great health, she'll be fine. She's very strong." "Yes... she is...." Mulder replied absent-mindedly as his fingers curled around the bullet that was meant for him, cradling it like some sacred talisman. He slipped it into his pocket. ***************************** Mulder entered the room tentatively and approached the bed where Scully lay. How small and helpless she looked resting peacefully in what seemed to be an immense hospital bed. He quietly pulled over a chair to the side of her bed. Taking her hand and holding it against his cheek, he closed his eyes and let the thoughts race in his mind: It all happened so quickly and where did he come from and her upper right shoulder that might have been my heart and what the hell was she thinking? He felt her hand move between his own and opened his eyes. She was coming out of it. Her eyes opened, taking in what she could see of the hospital room, orienting herself. Mulder reached between his legs and pulled the chair up closer to the bed, so they could be face to face. Not moving her head, Scully's eyes shifted to meet his. She offered a faint smile, and a weak "..Hi.." Mulder met her smile with one of his own. "Hi yourself...how do you feel?" "Not so good." She paused, took a deep breath and continued: "What did the doctors say?" "They said you lost a lot of blood, but they got the bullet out, that you'd be fine, the baby's fine... Scully what the hell were you thinking?" At this last remark Scully turned her head to look at him. "I wasn't; I didn't have to." They looked at each other for a moment, then Mulder moved his hand to touch her face. And he knew what she meant-- she had reacted out of pure instinct, her actions were almost a reflex; she didn't have to think about it. He understood because he would've done the same thing for her. He leaned over and gently pressed his lips against her forehead, then closed his eyes, carefully resting his forehead against her own. He stroked her hair, slowly, tenderly. Scully let her eyelids fall at his touch, enjoying the faint feel of his breath against her face, and slipped peacefully back into her slumber. Mulder watched her sleep. And he knew they still had a lot of talking to do. After their discussion of the miscarriage, they hadn't really had the chance, or the strength, to talk about the baby, and about what they were going to do about work. He was only certain of one thing: he couldn't keep going through this. ************************************* A few weeks later Mulder passed down the hallway towards the elevator with their files from the Cedar Rapids case. Scully was recuperating quickly, but until she was one hundred percent, they were doing as much work as they could out of their DC office. The sound of clicking heels on linoleum in the empty hallway caused him to look up. Ellen, the woman he'd brought to that fateful function that seemed so long ago was heading right towards him, moving quickly towards some unknown destination. Maybe it was his imagination, but she seemed to pick up her pace when she saw him. Mulder produced a guilty smile and started to offer a greeting to be polite but she breezed by him, leaving him a dust-cloud of her perfume. OK, he deserved that. "There you are, Mulder." He looked up to see Scully heading towards him. "You ready to go?" "Not yet. I got a message Skinner wanted to see me but he's not in his office. I'm gonna try and track him down. I'll see you in a bit?" Scully nodded. They both looked around to see if the coast was clear, then indulged in a quick kiss before heading their separate ways. ************************************ Scully entered the apartment and flipped on the lights. She slid her suit jacket off and headed down the dark hallway to her bedroom. She wondered where Owen was, he always came running up to her when she came home from work, her presence signaling dinner time. "Owen..." She flung her jacket and holster onto the bed and headed back out into the living area. She paused in the middle of the room and tried again. "Owen?" She waited a minute, but he still didn't show himself. "Owen where are you?" She slipped her shoes off next to the couch and knelt down beside it. She peeked underneath. "Hi kitty," she crooned softly, "what's the matter?" He was huddled under the couch, staring uneasily back at her. That was strange, the only time he ever hid like this was when she and Mulder were fighting or when someone he wasn't familiar with was in the apartment... Scully froze. After a second, she stood and slowly scanned the apartment. Her ears were ringing, her skin erupted in goose flesh. And she knew she was not alone in the apartment. As she brought her gaze to the direction of the hallway, she could make out a tall figure standing at the entrance to her bedroom. God she'd been in there seconds ago... The figure moved towards her, tall and broad, definitely masculine. She could make out a trench coat, but she'd know Mulder's walk anywhere, it wasn't him. Joel stopped at the entrance to the living area and stared at her. My gun where is it what did I do with it? she thought frantically in a moment of panic. Then she remembered... the bedroom; she'd have to get through him to get to it. That was not an option. The flash of anger she'd immediately felt at seeing him in her apartment was quickly being replaced by a sense of fear and dread. "How did you get in here?" "I'm an FBI agent, remember?" He flashed a smile that was almost charming. The room was silent as they stared at each other. Scully started quickly, turning and bolting toward the kitchen. In a second, Joel outpaced her and was at her heels. In the kitchen, she yanked open the utensil drawer and reached for the first big knife she came across. Joel was on top of her as she spun around, pinning her wrists against the counter top. He squeezed her wrist in an attempt to loosen her grip on the knife she was wielding. "Let go of the knife, Dana." No way she was going to do that. "Let go of the knife!" he repeated. He tightened his hold on her wrist. "Stop it your hurting me!" "Then drop the knife, Dana, I don't want to hurt you." Scully cried out in pain as his grip tightened further. Her wrist was threatening to snap under the weight he was putting against it. "Joel stop it!" "Then let it go!" It was too much, her hand's grip on the knife gave out and the utensil feel heavily into the sink with a loud clanking noise. Joel relaxed slightly but maintained his hold on her wrists. "I just want to talk to you. I've been patient, but you didn't really give me a choice... it had to come to this." "I have nothing to say to you, get out of here!" She was grateful her voice sounded stronger than she felt. He shook his head, his tone was patronizing. "You're wrong. There's a lot to say. Like: thanks for using me; thanks for dumping me; for humiliating me... should I go on?" Then she could see it so clearly in his eyes: he had no intention of talking to her. He was there to exact revenge. Her tone softened, maybe she could placate him: "Joel, I've already apologized to you about that--" "Yes that's right you did. But I'm afraid that's not good enough. I think I deserve a little more, don't you?" Scully swallowed hard. "What are you talking about?" She struggled as he pressed his body closer against her, turning her head from side to side to avoid his kiss. But the more she struggled, the more pressure he applied against her body; her back was burning with pain as the counter dug into it. She relaxed against him, letting him get closer and closer... his lips touched hers with deceptive tenderness. He loosened his grip the slightest bit and she made her move, driving her knee upwards between his legs. But in this position, she couldn't quite get her leg high enough, and though successful in inflicting some harm, she didn't quite hit the mark. Joel fell to his knees before her, then curled onto his side on the floor. She stepped over him and started to run out of the kitchen, but Joel reached out and grabbed her ankle, sending her face first to the floor. "Mistake..." he managed hoarsely. "Big mistake." He pulled her toward him, his hands climbing up her as he slowly drew her body underneath his. He turned her around to face him before depositing his weight on top of her. She struggled beneath him, the force of his weight threatening to suffocate her. "Is the thought that repulsive to you, Dana? You didn't used to think so; I know you wanted to. But something was always holding you back. Guess I know now what that was. Or should I say who? He was always standing between us, wasn't he?" He lowered his voice and leaned in closer. "But then he's not here now, is he?" He took hold of her face with one large hand and kissed her forcefully. She thought of biting down on his tongue as he thrust it into her mouth, but she had the baby to think about now; she didn't want to chance provoking further blows. His hands groped her roughly and she had the absurd thought that she hoped Mulder didn't walk in because he'd go ballistic seeing Joel do this to her. She managed to wriggle an arm free and attempted to push his face away, but he took hold of her wrists and pinned them out to her side. "I bet you wouldn't be so opposed if you thought it might prevent something from happening to him." She froze underneath him. "What are you talking about?" "I think you know. Would you be more... 'cooperative' if you thought it meant keeping Mulder out of harm's way?" Scully stared at him in disbelief. "You hesitate! I can't believe it! Dana Scully, the pillar of integrity, of moral character would sacrifice her dignity, would degrade herself like that? You do surprise me, Dana." She continued to look at him. "You're wondering where Mulder is right now aren't you? Wondering if he's safe, if I haven't already done something to him." He wouldn't... "You're bluffing." "Maybe. But then I suppose I wouldn't know that there never was a meeting with Skinner. That I'm the one who left the message, that that's why Skinner wasn't in his office." Her eyes widened in terror. "You didn't!" She squirmed violently underneath him, strengthened by fury. "I swear to God I'll kill you if you did anything to him!" But it only amused him; he smiled sadistically back at her. "Ooo, feisty I like that." Once again she managed to free an arm but this time she was able to send a fist flying at him, hitting his jaw squarely. Her shoulder, which had been feeling pretty good until now, protested with a sharp stab of pain as she did so. It didn't do much damage, but it threw him off guard enough that she was able to push him off her and head toward the bedroom. She started to reach the door of her room; she could see the black heap of her holster and gun against the light fabric of her comforter in the darkness before her. But like some horrible dream, seeing safety almost in her reach, she felt a hand close around the back of her shirt and yank her back down the hall to the living area. He held her back against his chest, restraining her arms across her stomach. His voice was at her ear. "That hurt." He tightened his hold on her. "Now... you're not paying attention," he admonished, his tone amused, "you haven't answered my question: would you do it Dana?" She was silent. "That's what scares you the most, doesn't it?" His voice was a menacing whisper at her ear. "That I could take it, any time I wanted to, and there's nothing you could do about it..." He turned her around to face him, holding her by the arms. He flashed her a sardonic smile. She stared back at him defiantly, not wanting to instigate him further, but not wanting to give him the satisfaction of hearing her beg for any kind of mercy... because she knew that is exactly what he wanted: to have that power over her would be his revenge. But she wasn't that easy to crack. He looked at her, then exhaled quickly with a small sound of disgust. "You're pathetic," he disdained before shoving her away. He really didn't mean to push her so hard, he sometimes forgot how small she was; the strength of her presence often camouflaged her small stature. She fell back forcefully, hitting her head against the wall. Her sight went in and out of focus as she slid slowly to the floor. Joel approached, crouching down beside her as she sat back against the wall. He looked at her with his own twisted form of genuine concern, but saw that she was OK. Her sight came back into focus and she could see he was inches from her face. "Sorry, Dana; God didn't create man and woman equal you know..." He smiled smugly and stood. He turned and started to head for the door; he'd had enough of his game. The rage swelled through her. How dare he? That he thought he could just come in here and terrorize her like this, like it was some kind of game... She clenched her jaw and like a stick through the spokes of a bicycle wheel, stuck her leg through his in mid-stride. Down he went, landing heavily face-first on the floor. Scully scrambled onto his back, straddling him. She slipped his gun from the holster and positioned it at the base of his skull. "Maybe not," she cocked the hammer back, "but Smith and Wesson did." He turned his head to the side until she was in his peripheral vision. "You listen to me Joel I will *not* live my life like this. You ever try anything like this again, I won't hesitate; I *will* kill you. Do you hear me?" Her voice rose as she pressed the weapon closer against his head. "Do you hear me?" He nodded against the floor. After a second, she slid off him, backing away and rising to her feet. She kept the gun trained on him. He stood slowly and turned around. "I don't suppose you're going to give me my gun back." Fat chance. "You can pick it up at the A.D.'s office tomorrow." He stared at her for a long moment, then turned and left quietly. Scully stood there staring at the door, her heart pounding in her chest. Then she moved quickly to it and set the locks. She ran for the phone... "Mulder." She sank to the couch in fathomless relief. "Hello?" "Hi it's me." "Hi me." She brought a hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and saw that it was shaking. "I was just wondering when you were coming home." "I'm on my way. Do you need me to stop and get something?" "No. Just... how long do you think before you get here?" "Traffic's not to bad, maybe ten minutes." He paused through the hiss and crackle of the cellular connection. "You OK, Scully?" "Yeah I'm fine. I'll see you soon." Scully replaced the receiver. She was shaken by her encounter with Joel, but she was confident about the outcome. That was it; it was over. She could see it in his eyes before he left: defeat. Joel was a contemptible man, but he wasn't stupid. Owen peeked his head out from underneath the couch. The corner of her mouth turned up at him. "Some watch-cat you are." He hopped up into her lap, purring loudly. "All right, let's get you something to eat." As she puttered around the kitchen getting Owen his food, she thought about what she was going to tell Mulder-- rather, *if* she was going to tell him. She couldn't be certain what would happen if she told him, but she was fairly sure chalk outlines and yellow police tape would be involved. She sighed heavily as she deposited herself in one of the kitchen chairs. Mulder had thought it was over with Joel, and now it was; so why bother telling him, right? Wrong. She knew she had to do it. She didn't like keeping secrets from him; she'd been through that ordeal before. So... it would have to be broken to him gently, she'd tell him Joel had come to play his mind game and to try and get the last word but that that was all, that it *was* the last word and when he realized she wasn't going to be intimidated by him he'd left. But she would let a few days go by first, she wanted to plan out exactly how she was going to tell him. She got up and headed for the door as she heard Mulder entering. He came in loosening his tie and smiled over at her as she approached. She smiled back and went to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her cheek against his chest. "Hi." He caressed her back. "Hi." He stepped back to slip off his coat and jacket, then rolled up his sleeves. "I'm so glad to be home. What a waste-- I waited over an hour for Skinner, I don't know what happened. I tried to track him down at the cafeteria, the weight room... Am I boring you?" She had been staring off into space, she brought her attention back to Mulder. "What? No, no I'm sorry, I'm just... distracted." He lay a hand gently on her shoulder. "Why? What's wrong?" "We still haven't talked about the baby," she covered. "I know. I was thinking about that when you were in the hospital. There's something I've been meaning to ask you." "What?" "Later. Let's get something to eat first; I'm starving." "OK. I'll make some pasta?" A trace of a smile surfaced on her lips. "Contrary to what you believe I can cook a few things. I just have..." "A culinary handicap?" She flashed him a look. "A limited repertoire." "Oh is that it?" He grinned at her. "And I can handle spaghetti you know. You seem to forget that first night..." He smiled and stepped closer, taking her hand in his. "I remember." He brought the hand up to kiss the palm. A few inches from his face he froze. He brought her hand down slightly, examining the red ring around her wrist. He reached for the other and examined that one as well. The panic started to rise in her. "Mulder..." He'd investigated enough assault and rape cases to recognize finger marks when he saw them. And he had pretty good idea who was responsible. His breathing quickened, though his voice remained even. "What did he do, Scully?" "Nothing, I'm OK." His voice was calm, but she could see his words were coming through clenched teeth. "This doesn't look like nothing. What did he want?" "Just to indulge in a little intimidation." "What does that mean?" She was silent. She had to tell him the truth, but it wasn't going to be easy. "Scully...?" "He's the one who called the meeting with Skinner. He wanted to make sure you wouldn't be here when he talked to me..." He could sense there was something more. "And?" She took a minute to choose her words carefully. "And he wanted me to be unsure of your whereabouts." He looked questioningly at her. "He wanted me to think that he had hurt you, or that he might hurt you if I didn't give him what he wanted." Mulder's head was throbbing, his pulse racing. "What did he want?" She could only stare back at him. He placed his hands on his hips and took a step closer, backing her up against the door. He leaned his face in close and repeated his question. "What did he want, Scully?" She stared at him; she couldn't bring herself to say the words knowing what wrath they would invoke. But then she didn't have to, her silence told him what he needed to know. That mental image was more than he could bear; he snapped, slamming his hand against the door behind her. "You didn't!" he screamed. He turned quickly and started pacing. "God tell me you didn't!" "No!" she started quickly. "No I didn't." He slowed to a stop and looked at her. He was breathing heavily, his voice was low. "But you thought about it." Again, he could see it in her eyes. "I don't believe this," he said weakly, his tone that of a beaten man. That she would even consider doing something like that... for him. He sat down heavily on the couch, leaning forward to rest his face in his hands. "I don't believe this!" She moved to sit next to him; he turned his head to look at her. "How could you even consider that for one second, Scully? I would never want you to... I would never..." His voice trailed off as he returned his gaze to the floor. She rested a hand on his back. "But I *didn't*, Mulder. I have more faith in your ability to take care of yourself. And I have more respect for myself." A horrible thought occurred to him as he remembered her wrists. He turned his head quickly to her. "He didn't--" "NO... no he didn't." She saw him looking at her wrist, she attempted to explain. "I freaked out when I saw him and tried to get a knife and he grabbed me..." That mental image was almost as intolerable as the last. She could see the internal battle raging in his head. He was remembering the promise he had made her: the promise to try. But it was too much... he got up and grabbed his coat. "Mulder..." "I'm sorry, Scully." "Mulder please, listen to me--" "I'll be back in a bit." The door slammed shut behind him. She tried to calm herself; she shouldn't panic, Mulder didn't even know where Joel's apartment was. But then again, knowing Mulder, he knew exactly where Joel lived; he'd probably been keeping discreet tabs on Joel ever since she broke up with him. She thought of going there herself, but she imagined that would only make things worse. Her stomach rolled violently and she headed for the bathroom. She ran an arm over her face, trying to will her lunch to stay down. As her sleeve passed over her nose and mouth, she could smell Joel on her clothes... and was desperate to be rid of that scent. She stripped and started the shower. When she came out and entered the bedroom, Mulder was there, packing his duffel bag. Oh God... the dread swelled in her stomach, intensifying her nausea. "Well?" Mulder didn't look at her; he continued to stuff clothes roughly into his bag. "He wasn't there," he responded tersely. She cleared her throat. "Where are you going?" He pulled her suitcase out of the closet and flopped it onto the bed. "*We* are going on with our lives." End Part 11 ****************************************************** The Spell Series - Compiled By Kelli Rocherolle kelli@edgenet.net ****************************************************** Spell 12: Truth The warm desert air was calm at dusk; the sun cast long shadows on the red earth. Mulder and Scully sat on the ground next to each other staring into the vast expanse that was their future. Mulder reached out and took her hand in his. "You're sure you're OK with this, Scully?" She looked at him reassuringly. "I wouldn't have it any other way." "'Cause you know your mother's going to kill us." Scully turned her attention back to the horizon. "No..." She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "She'll just kill you..." He turned his head to look at her. She smiled against the warm rays of the setting sun. A small band of men appeared to their right as Albert Hosteen approached with a group of tribesmen. Mulder looked back over at her, gripping her hand tighter. "Here we go." They smiled at each other in excitement. Hosteen came and sat before them while the rest of the men sat nearby, forming a small semi-circle around them. Scully leaned over towards Mulder and whispered to him. "You're sure this is legal?" "Of course I'm sure." He shrugged. "Pretty sure." She started to open her mouth to speak but stopped when she realized the ceremony was about to begin. She had to admit, she never imagined her wedding would be quite like this... no family or friends, the desert, a Native American ceremony... and certainly something a little more formal than jeans. But nothing about their relationship had ever been ordinary, and she was perfectly happy to be there with Mulder, just the two of them, like it had been for them for so long. She'd walk to the ends of the earth for this man, and she knew he'd do the same for her. They'd been through so much. When Mulder had asked her to do this, to come away with him, she didn't hesitate; it was right. She tightened her hold on his hand as Hosteen started to instruct them on how the ceremony would proceed. Mulder felt her hand tighten in his and the affection flowed through him. That she would do this, come here with him, was more than he ever could've hoped for. The thing with Joel had been the last straw; he was tired of feeling like they were at the mercy of circumstances that were out of their control: the pregnancy, the miscarriage, the problems with Joel, the hospitalizations, and now this pregnancy; it was time they started taking positive action, time they took back some control. They should've done this a long time ago. Why had they put it off? He didn't know. Probably because they'd been so content with the way things had been going, neither of them wanted to rock the boat. But lately, he couldn't shake the feeling that they were pushing their luck, that things were spinning more and more out of control, and that they needed to get back on track. Ever since that last time she was in the hospital, he'd been wanting to ask her to consider going away with him to do this, to take that next step. But as it seemed like it always was with them, time escaped them and seemed to pass by with remarkable speed. So he was ecstatic that she'd agreed to come for this last minute arrangement. They needed this; and he knew she felt it, too. He turned his attention back to Hosteen as he started the ceremony. They had requested he do something short and simple, and that he include an exchange of rings which was not a typical part of the traditional ceremony. Hosteen had agreed, suggesting he borrow a ritual from their Apache brothers, a customary reading and rites. He cleared his throat, and after some initial rites in Navajo, he concluded: "Now for you there is no rain, for one is shelter to the other Now for you there is no darkness, for one is counsel to the other. Now for you there is no pain, for one is comfort to the other Now for you there is no night, for one is light to the other Now for you the snow has ended always. Your fears, your wants, your needs at rest. It is that way- today, tomorrow, forever. Now it is good and there is always shelter. And now there is always warmth. And now there is always comfort. Now there is no loneliness. Now, forever, forever, you are one. There are two bodies, but there is one heart." Hosteen paused, then nodded slowly at Mulder. Mulder produced the two rings they'd purchased from a jeweler in Albuquerque on their way to the reservation. They were plain, simple gold bands, but they'd had the insides inscribed. They had deliberated over what to have engraved, neither of them crazy about the traditional initials and dates. Mulder was the one who had finally come up with the idea, asking her with a gleam in his eye if he could surprise her. She had smiled at him and conceded. "Sure, why not... you're on a roll." And so when the jeweler had finished and returned with their rings, she had brought hers up to her face for inspection, not quite sure what to expect... and there they were, three simple words that had touched her heart: "In this, truth." She had looked up at him then, her eyes filled with emotion. He had smiled down at her. "You like it." And of course, she had loved it. "Perfect." As they sat there now, Mulder paused before slipping the ring on her finger, looking intently into her eyes. He wanted to be certain, to assure himself that there was no hesitation there, no apprehension behind those eyes. And miraculously, there wasn't. Her warm and loving gaze engulfed him entirely. He slowly slid the ring onto her finger, then Scully took her turn with his. He squeezed her hand. They looked back at Hosteen. He concluded with a prayer in Navajo, then smiled at the couple before him. "You may kiss your bride." They complied, eliciting a quiet murmur of delight and approval from the small crowd. The tribesmen stood and took their turns offering congratulations and well wishes before slowly migrating back to the old beat-up van that had brought them from town to the site. When the others had congregated around the vehicle, Hosteen turned to face them. "I have a gift for the bride." He pulled out a small packet and handed it to Scully. She flashed a curious glance at Mulder. He shrugged back at her. Scully opened the packet to find a small silver charm. It was triangular in shape, and had a symbol imprinted on it. A tiny turquoise stone was embedded in the middle. It was absolutely beautiful, and she was very touched by it. Scully looked up at Hosteen. "I don't know what to say..." "Do you know what that symbol is?" "It looks like an animal print of some kind." "Very good: a bear's paw. The bear is a very sacred and powerful animal. This symbol of the bear's paw is special, do you know what it represents?" She brought her eyes back to the beautiful piece of jewelry, shaking her head slowly. "Strength behind beauty." She looked up at him then, and saw that his kind eyes were smiling back at her. "And the turquoise is a protective stone." "Thank you... thank you so much." He smiled and without further ado, he turned and headed back towards the van and the other men. They piled inside and started their journey back towards town. Scully looked back at Mulder. He smiled and lay a hand on her back. Darkness had settled around them as they walked towards the hogan that Hosteen and the tribesmen had prepared for them. Scully opened the door and stepped through the entrance with Mulder following behind her. She stopped just inside and caught her breath. "Oh my God Mulder..." The little dwelling was plain and rustic, furnished only with a futon-like mattress on the floor and a small bench on the opposite wall. A large bowl of fruit and breads and a picture of water were resting on top of it, their suitcases underneath. A warm fire burned brightly in the center of the room, its smoke disappearing through a special opening in the roof. It was warm and cozy and absolutely charming... and there were flowers everywhere: daisies. Strewn across the tiny shelf next to the entrance, in large terra cotta pots along the walls. She looked back at Mulder. "I have my sources." He grinned contentedly back at her before turning to shut the door behind them. He stepped closer, taking her face in his hands and holding it just inches from his own. They stared at each other for a moment, then Mulder placed a kiss on her forehead. "I love you so much," he whispered to her, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to grow old with you..." Her hand came up to cover one of his. "I'm so happy..." He kissed her then, letting himself be washed away in his feelings for her, drown in his desire for her. Backing her towards the bed, he lay her down on top of it, pulling the blanket over them as they settled in to each other. They worked slowly, steadily at each other's clothes until there was nothing separating them and they could make their way easily to each other. Scully was strangely aware of the warm glow from the fire occasionally reflecting a bright spark of light off of their simple gold bands as their hands moved leisurely over smooth flesh. His body moved slowly, purposefully inside her, their bodies joined in the ecstasy of purest devotion, as he took her to that place that only he could. She was content and safe in his arms. And Mulder was relishing every second of this novel encounter... because although the act itself wasn't a new experience, it was different, because now, for the first time, he was making love to his wife. ******************************************** "I've got to go use the bathroom." Scully stood and started to climb over Mulder's lap to get to the aisle. He took hold of her hips as she passed over him. "I'll come with you." She eyed him curiously. He raised and lowered his eyebrows at her. "Ever heard of the mile-high club, Scully?" She smirked back at him as she made it to the aisle and started towards the back of the plane. A few minutes later a flight attendant approached. "Anything to drink?" "Got any iced tea?" "No, sorry." "I'll have a Diet Coke then." She handed him a small plastic cup and can of soda. "Something for your wife, sir?" Mulder turned his head quickly to look at her. It wasn't the first time someone had referred to her that way, but it was the first time that anybody had been right about it. The flight attendant must have thought he had a screw loose as he beamed back at her. "Yes, my wife would like a Diet Coke also, please." The flight attendant eyed him uncertainly, then poured the drink and moved on to the next row. Mulder rested his head against the back of the seat. His thoughts drifted with the low drone of the plane's engines and soon he was thinking about what was waiting for them back in DC. He still wasn't one hundred percent sure he could-- or should-- let this thing with Joel go. Scully had felt sure it was over with him... but he would never be able to be absolutely certain, and that thought tormented him. Besides... Scully returned from the rest room and climbed into her seat. When she'd settled in he turned his head to look at her. "What are we going to do about Joel, Scully?" She eyed him over her soda. "What do you mean?" "I think we should talk to Skinner." Where did that come from? "Skinner?" "Yeah. I think maybe the only way to get to the guy is through his career." His mouth twisted into a wry smile. "He hasn't responded to personal threats." "Mulder, I really don't want to shake things up with him. We have the baby to think about. And I certainly don't want him going to Skinner about us before we have a chance to." "Scully he's lucky you don't press charges for assault." She stared at him. "You've got to know you won't be the last person he's going to do this to." She sighed and nodded. "I know. You're right. But I think right now we have more pressing things to tell Skinner. And besides, first thing's first." ****************************** Margaret Scully's face brightened at the unexpected sight of her daughter standing in her doorway. Fox Mulder was standing just behind her. She smiled in delight. "Both of you at my door at the same time? I was beginning to think you were the same person," she teased. "Hi mom." Maggie embraced her daughter. "What's going on is everything OK Dana?" She met Mulder's eyes over Scully's shoulder. "Hello, Fox." He smiled at her, wondering why she always made him feel like he was twelve years old. "Hi Mrs. Scully." "Everything's fine, Mom. There's just something we need to tell you." She scrutinized them for a moment. "Oh my God, you set a date!" Scully exchanged a look with Mulder. "Well... you could say that." "That's wonderful! What did you decide?" "Mom... actually..." She took a deep breath and glanced at Mulder nervously. "I hope you won't be too upset with me..." Maggie's brows came together. "What is it Dana?" "We really didn't plan it this way, in fact we'd planned on having a traditional wedding..." Maggie brought her hands up over mouth. "You didn't..." Scully raised her eyebrows expectantly and nodded at her. She stood there silent as the shock washed over her. She never would've expected Dana-- her stable, responsible Dana-- to do something so impulsive. Maybe Melissa, but not Dana. And she'd been looking forward to Dana's wedding ever since she'd heard the news. Besides, she'd never have another chance to be mother of the bride, now that Melissa... No-- what mattered was Dana and her happiness. She knew that they'd been through so much, and she could understand them deciding to do it quietly. And she could certainly see that Dana was happy. They both were. She reached out for her daughter. "Dana..." They embraced tightly, the emotion flowing between them. Maggie's voice was filled with tenderness. "I'm so happy for you, Dana." Scully smiled and closed her eyes as the tears welled in them. "Thanks, Mom." She tightened her hold on her. "I hope so." Maggie pulled from the embrace. "Of course I am." She looked up at Mulder. "Fox," she offered a warm smile, then she surprised him by reaching up and pulling him into a hug. "Welcome to the family." He stiffened momentarily, her display of affection catching him off guard, then softened in her arms, returning her hug. He smiled in spite of himself and thought to himself: she had *always* made him feel like family. "Well, that's not all we have to tell you Mom." She stepped back from Mulder and looked at her daughter. "I'm almost afraid to ask..." Scully glanced once more at Mulder for support. He gave her a reassuring smile. "It looks like you're going to have to set *two* extra places at the table this Christmas..." ******************************* Scully nervously arranged and re-arranged the pillows on her couch for the fourth time. Mulder's mom would be there any minute and she wanted the place to be perfect. Mulder had asked his mom to come down, telling her that he had some news to share with her, that yes it was important and that no it was not about Samantha. So she'd agreed to come down for the night, taking a room in a nearby hotel. Mulder had gone out to get some last minute things before she arrived: a bottle of wine, some candles, and on a more practical note... they were dangerously low on toilet paper. Scully glanced at the clock. Seven-thirty. OK, she had about an hour. Her stomach tied into knots. For some reason she'd escaped morning sickness this time around, it only seemed to hit her when her nerves were frayed, and right now... oh how they were frayed. She glanced at the clock again. Seven- thirty two. Fifty-eight minutes. She sighed, disgusted with herself, and moved to the mirror. She examined her reflection, everything seemed in place; all that was left to do now was change clothes. The apartment looked nice, the lasagna was warming in the oven, there was nothing to panic about... Oh who was she kidding? This was a nightmare. Mrs. Mulder hadn't exactly responded well to the news that she and Mulder had become involved with each other, how was she going to react to this little bombshell? Married *and* a baby on the way? Scully ran for the bathroom. When she came out she was less than thrilled to see that Owen had decided to take a nap on one of her place settings. "Hey!" He lazily opened one green eye at her, unconcerned. "Owen!" She scooped him off the table and he moved off, disgruntled. Wonderful. [Gee don't mind that Mrs. Mulder, that's just a little cat hair, we've grown used to it... in fact we've acquired a taste for it...] She went to the kitchen and grabbed a new plate and sponge. The doorbell sounded as she finished wiping off the table. She launched the sponge in the general direction of the kitchen sink and moved to the door, wiping her hands on her jeans. Whoever it was, their timing couldn't have been worse. Mrs. Mulder smiled at her as she opened the door. "My plane got in a little early, I hope it's all right..." Mulder where are you?? "No, of course, come in-- please." She entered the apartment and looked around. "How nice." She slipped her coat off and Scully took it from her. "Where's Fox?" "Oh he should be here any minute." Scully headed down the hallway to the coat closet. "He better be here any minute," she muttered under her breath. Scully came back out into the living area. "Can I get you something to drink?" "No thank you, I'll wait for Fox." "OK well I'm going to check--" The phone interrupted them. "Excuse me." Scully picked up the cordless and headed into the kitchen with it. "Hello?" She opened the oven and peeked in on dinner. "No he's not here right now. This is his wife though is there something I can help you with?... No-- no sorry we're not interested." She clicked off the phone and started in the direction of the fridge... and froze. Oh my God, how could she have been so stupid? She moved quickly toward the living area and looked in. Mrs. Mulder was half turned on the couch, facing her, slack- jawed. Mulder came in and was surprised to see his mom already there. "Hi." As he placed the grocery bag on the floor and slid his jacket off, he wondered why his mom looked so pale... and why Scully looked so green... And so it went-- they were sure that after the initial shock wore off, Mulder's mom would grow used to the idea. Fortunately, Scully's mom seemed to handle the news much easier. At any rate, they were relieved to finally have telling their families behind them. And now they were ready; there was no more putting it off: they had to face their most difficult task. ******************************* "Tell me this isn't another request for transfer." Mulder looked over at Scully, then back to Skinner. "No sir." They all stared at each other. Skinner lifted his hands expectantly, growing impatient. "You had some purpose for requesting this meeting Agent Mulder...?" Mulder gave a quick nod. "Yes, sir. I'm sure it won't come as a complete surprise to you... There's something we should... We'd like to..." Mulder was sinking fast. Scully bailed him out. "We wanted to officially inform the Bureau of our situation, sir." Oh God he should've seen this coming. "Situation?" "Agent Mulder and I... we... we were..." The 'm' formed on her lips but she couldn't quite bring herself to say it. "Spit it out Agent Scully." "We were married this weekend." That they'd become involved was what he'd anticipated; he suspected that. But not this. They'd skipped right to the punch- line. And what could he say? Get a divorce? You're fired? He took a deep breath, then looked over at Mulder, then back at Scully, then down at his blotter. "Well you might have told be about this *before* it happened Agent Scully." "I know, sir. But it happened rather suddenly..." Her voice trailed off and the room remained silent for several seconds. "Well I'll officially inform the Director. That is typically the way these matters proceed." "We understand sir." Skinner nodded and they both rose to leave. He stopped them just before they reached the door. "Mulder..." They turned to face him. "Scully... congratulations. Really, I'm happy for you both." They nodded awkwardly in appreciation. Mulder lay a hand on Scully's back to lead her out. "Thank you, sir." They stood in the hallway outside Skinner's office. Mulder leaned sideways against the wall, giving her a crooked smile. "Probably a good thing we held off on telling him about the baby... and discussing Joel... that on top of the vacation time I put in for for us might have pushed him right over the edge." "What are you talking about?" "I put in for vacations for us, Scully." "You mean you forged my signature on a vacation request." "Well I didn' t think you'd mind under the circumstances." "What circumstances?" "You didn't think I'd forget the honeymoon, did you Scully?" A smile spread slowly across her face. "Honeymoon? Just what did you have in mind?" He looked around, then pulled two plane tickets from his inside breast pocket. He lowered his voice and leaned in close, displaying the tickets. "Eight square miles of paradise, Scully; eight square miles of paradise..." ***************************************** Scully looked out the window at the ocean beneath them as their plane made its journey from Martinique to the tiny island of Saint Barts. Mulder had really caught her by surprise with this one... this was nothing compared to their impromptu wedding. She smiled as she remembered how he had teased her about figuring they had better go now while she could still wear a bathing suit. Then he'd surprised her further by pulling her up off the ground into his arms, kissing her right there in the hallway in front of Skinner's office, in plain view of the stares of other agents around them. Why not? They were married, they'd "officially" informed the A.D., it was only a matter of time before everyone else would know too... and what better way to make an announcement? Skinner had said he would inform his superiors and that they would be notified of a decision shortly. But they weren't going to wait for that. They'd spent the last few nights in serious negotiation about what they were going to do about work. Mulder had been in contact with Senator Matheson, who in turn had put him in contact with a "colleague" at Georgetown University: Dr. Robert Flagg, a distinguished professor of sociology that had a most interesting hobby-- parapsychology. He was also interested in the abduction phenomenon and had published several papers on the subject. So Senator Matheson set up a teaching position for Mulder at the university, where he could have access to Flagg's work and counsel. And he made it clear that he would personally guarantee Mulder access to the X-files data as needed, with discretion of course. To Mulder it was a perfect arrangement, but Scully had resisted at every level; there was no way she wanted him to give up everything he'd worked for, his position, his access, his very tools for finding Samantha, just for her. She'd proposed he stay with the X-files and she would take on a teaching position at Quantico or look into working for the Investigative Science Unit. But he refused to continue working on the X-files without her. Besides, he told her, he wanted to get away from the X-files, the Bureau, from the government's watchful eye; away from the danger his work had put them in... especially now with the baby coming. Scully had continued to protest this, reminding him that this was what he'd always wanted. But when he looked calmly at her and told her he wanted *her* more, she knew that the decision had been made. She looked over at him now as their turbo-prop started its descent. He looked positively green. "You OK, Mulder?" He passed a hand over his mouth. "Yeah. Yeah, it's just...I hate these puddle jumpers." ******************************** Mulder had rented them a cottage from a local hotel, the Village Saint Jean. It was private and secluded and exactly what they needed. They rented a Suzuki Samurai for their excursions around the island, taking their first trip the following day down to the island's small port of Gustavia. There, they strolled along the sea wall and watched the docked cruise ships in the distance, and after they'd walked around a bit, they stopped to eat at a nearby cafe. Mulder opened the map and spread it across their table, placing their silverware on the corners to prevent it from blowing away with the gentle afternoon breeze. "Look at this, Scully... we could spend the entire time going to different beaches and still not hit them all before the end of the week." She cocked her head to try and get a better look at the map. There were small pictures of each beach inlaid next to their locations. "Oh what's this one? Shell beach, that sounds nice." "Yeah we can hit that one after lunch. Hey look at this one, we'd have to hike there, but would you look at that Scully? It's gorgeous." She nodded in agreement. "That's some surf." Her eyes moved from the map and passed over their surroundings. She sighed contentedly. "It's so quiet and peaceful here. No crowds, no traffic, no shopping malls..." When she looked back at him, he was watching her with a warm smile. She raised her eyebrows questioningly at him. But when he reached across the table and took her hand in his, giving it a light squeeze, she knew what he meant. This was wonderful. Being together like this, a million miles away from DC, the Bureau, their problems. For just a while, nothing existed beyond that beautiful little island. They pulled up along the little dirt road and walked down toward Shell beach. There they picked a spot and settled in among the smattering of other tourists. And they could see how the beach earned its name: where sand should have been, there were shells, tiny little sea shells covering every inch of the beach like a dusting of snow. They stood at their blanket and deposited their belongings. Scully slipped off her t-shirt and threw it down next to her towel. Mulder watched her; it occurred to him that he'd never seen her in a bathing suit before. He smiled and took a step closer, pulling her into an embrace. He lifted her up off the sand and kissed her firmly. "You're cute." She squirmed free and tugged at his shirt, smiling excitedly. "Come on, let's go in." They made their way down to the water where the gentle surf quietly lapped against the shore. The water was warm but still cool enough to be refreshing. They waded in further, until their hips were submerged. Scully looked down and glided a hand just over the surface. "I thought water was only this clear and blue on postcards." He smiled at her, nodding. Taking hold of her hand, he pulled her gently towards him, wrapping his arms around her and submerging them both in the water. They held each other on resurfacing. The feel of cool liquid between them, of their bodies sliding against each other in that warm water was almost immediately arousing. Mulder pulled her closer and kissed her sensually, enjoying the salty taste on her lips. He slid his hands further down her back... but the temptation was too great, and that clear water provided far too little camouflage. Scully pulled away, eyeing him sideways and keeping a few feet's distance from him. She smiled coyly at him before disappearing under the water. They swam for a while, but Mulder didn't last long before heading back to the beach. Scully could've spent all day in that tepid water, but unfortunately, her skin didn't seem to agree, she was pruning up and decided it was time to join Mulder on the beach. He was lying on his back catching some rays as she approached. She collapsed to her stomach on the towel next to him. She fished her book from the bag and started to settle in to read. As she reached for her sunglasses, something off to her right caused her to do a double-take. "Mulder..." she whispered. "Mmm?" he responded, not looking at her. "Those men... Mulder they're not wearing any bathing suits. They're not wearing *anything*." He lifted his glasses and glanced briefly at the people sunning themselves several yards away. "So?" "So I thought 'nudisme est interdit'." Mulder grinned. "Apparently not." Scully continued to stare at the group, unable to pull her gaze from them, more out of fascination than anything else, that someone might expose their most sensitive parts to some pretty damaging rays... "Must have to put sunblock in some interesting places..." she thought out loud. The corner of his mouth turned up as he reached over and took hold of the top of her head, turning it back to her novel. "You're married now, you're not supposed to be interested in that kind of thing anyway," he teased. "Come on, Mulder. Don't even try to tell me you haven't been enjoying all these topless women walking around." He grinned widely. "I hadn't noticed." Now it was her turn to smile. "Right." They bantered back and forth, but the mood was light. "Don't worry, Scully. I can resist temptation; I resisted Phoebe, didn't I?" She turned her head to look at him. "So she did come on to you?" "Like a freight train." She felt a fleeting twinge of jealousy and wondered if that was something that would ever go away entirely. "I thought so. Why didn't you tell me?" "You weren't exactly in the best frame of mind at the time... now I know it was your raging hormones." "Hormones! Did it ever occur to you that maybe you just pissed me off?" He lifted his sunglasses and looked at her. "Nah." ********************************* And so they spent the rest of their vacation in much the same way: swimming, relaxing, exploring the island, exploring each other in those new surroundings... One morning towards the end of their stay, Scully rose early to go for walk along the beach. She came back to find Mulder shuffling back to bed from the bathroom, wearing only his boxers, his jaw shadowed with stubble, hair all askew. Scully smirked at him. "Don't you look like nice." He glanced over at her sleepily before collapsing onto his back on the sun-drenched bed. He passed his hands over his face and back through his hair, finally locking them behind his head. He closed his eyes, the corner of his mouth turning up the slightest bit. "Yeah..." he shrugged smugly. "You want me." She smiled and approached. She knelt over him, and leaned into his face. "Maybe..." She kissed him, softly at first, weaving her fingers back through his hair, then more purposefully. His hands came up around her to pull her closer as their kissing intensified, his body coming alive at her touch as if she'd merely thrown a switch. She kissed his chin, his collarbone, then started a small trail of kisses down his midsection... her lips gliding over his stomach... further... then she was sending him skyward, her warm mouth working its magic for almost half an hour, keeping him suspended in an agonizing state of pleasure. Just when he was sure he couldn't hold out any longer, his body drenched with sweat, shaking in torturous ecstasy, she sat up, slipping off her shorts and positioning herself on top of him until she'd surrounded him in the extraordinary warmth of her center. He reached up and gripped the bars of the headboard as he started moving inside her. He watched her kneeling above him, this woman that was everything he'd ever needed, as diffuse sunlight engulfed their bodies and blurred the boundaries between them. That he could do this to her, awaken this passionate and absolutely beautiful creature, was as always powerfully dizzying. He reached out for her, slipping a hand around to the back of her neck and guiding her lips to his. He continued to move inside her, kissing her with tremendous hunger, until he could feel himself spiraling towards the precious joy of release. He spun on her, rolling her underneath him and pinning her wrists out by her sides against the pillow. He buried his face in her neck, driving himself deeper and deeper into her with mounting force. She exhaled sharply at his ear as he moved untamed above her, until the sound was choked off with the culmination of passion. That was all it took to push him over the edge, his own hoarse cry of release dissolving into the strands of her hair. His body slowed, coming to rest on top of her, and he kissed her sweat-dampened cheek. He nuzzled his face into her hair as he hugged her. "Dana..." he started, but couldn't find the words. She smiled against his shoulder. ********************************** As their last day neared, there was only one thing Scully hadn't done that she'd wanted to do. "Mulder?" It was evening and they were sitting out on the veranda sharing a bottle of Orangina. He turned his head towards her. "Let's go riding tomorrow." "You mean like horseback riding?" He turned his gaze back to the water. "Yeah." "I already told you, Scully, I'm not much of a horseman." He turned his head back to look at her. Her blue eyes were wide in silent persuasion. He sighed in resignation. ********************************* "Now see this isn't such a bad way to spend our last day in paradise." Scully smiled at him as they rode at a leisurely pace along the beach. He couldn't help but smile back at her. He'd come begrudgingly, but she was right, it wasn't so bad, he could handle a horse well enough; and besides, seeing her excitement was worth every aching muscle he was going to have tomorrow. But he wasn't going to let her off without a little teasing. He grinned at her. "You look like such a little girl." And she did. Her normally milky white skin was sun kissed with a hint of color, especially along her nose and cheeks, the baggy t-shirt and cut-offs she wore seeming to epitomize youth. She flashed him an admonishing glance. "Mulder, girls have knee socks and pony tails." "But Scully, you do have a pony tail." She smirked at him. "A girl that could easily leave your ass in a trail of her dust to the end of beach," she challenged. "Those are fightin' words, Scully." She smiled and nudged her horse, taking off at top speed down the beach. Mulder smiled and followed at a canter, not so much interested in their race as he was taking delight in watching her. But as she disappeared down the coastline, growing smaller and smaller as she moved away from him, he felt a sinking sensation in his stomach. It was ridiculous, he knew, but he couldn't shake it. He took off after her with a start. He was just at her heels when she turned back and saw him, surprised to see that he was suddenly so close. With a smile she took off again and he intensified his pursuit. The thunderous sound of hooves hitting sand swelled in his ears as he drove his horse to ride faster and faster but she continued to move just out of his reach. With a jab to the ribs he urged the animal further, finally coming up just alongside her. He reached over and grabbed hold of her reigns, slowing both of their horses to a stop. She smiled in amusement and ran a hand through her wind-blown hair, having lost her elastic somewhere down the beach. "Cheater." Still holding her reigns, he smiled slightly back at her, but there was a hint of gravity in his voice. "I don't like it when you run away from me." She paused to catch her breath as she eyed him, then leaned toward him. He met her with a kiss, then they both dismounted and started walking their horses back down the coastline. They were quiet with their thoughts. They had a lot of unfinished business waiting for them when they got back home. Most likely the Bureau would have their decision for them; they still had the ugly task of telling Skinner about Joel, and the slightly more pleasant task of telling him about the baby. Scully lay a hand on her abdomen. The baby. Yes, they had a lot waiting for them. She reached out and clasped Mulder's hand in hers as they walked. No more play time; tomorrow... they would head back to Washington. End Part 12 The verses used in the wedding ceremony are taken from an actual Apache wedding ceremony-- those beautiful words are not mine! **************************** Spell 13: Getting There The morgue was cold and sterile. Mulder always hated the morgue; hands down it was the worst part of the job. How Scully seemed to handle it with relative ease, that she had chosen a career path that would put her in frequent content with them, was beyond his comprehension. He stood there now, staring at the metal table in front of him as it reflected the light around the room in a sharp glare, a glare that illuminated a small area around the table but didn't quite make it to the dark corners and crevices of the chamber. The body lying underneath the sheet on that table was so small. He didn't want to go near it. He was terrified of it. Looking to his right, he could see that Scully was standing beside him, her eyes wide with compassion and understanding. He looked back at the sheet. Finally, he managed to take a step toward it, and once he did he seemed compelled to continue, not stopping until his legs hit the table's edge. The sound of his heartbeat was pounding in his ears, his breath was tight in his chest. He took hold of the top of the sheet, braced himself, then slowly lifted it up. His breath caught in his throat, then was replaced by a large lump that threatened to explode with pain. He closed his eyes. Oh God, it was her. It *was* her: Samantha. Somehow, he knew with no uncertainty that this was his sister. His body turned limp with sorrow; Mulder fell to his knees beside her. He gently lay his hands on that cold little arm, that arm that should have been warm with life, and he desperately fought off the despair that threatened to swallow him whole. He was destroyed. How could it be that he had failed her so miserably? After trying, searching so hard for so long? It was more than he could bear, to see that perfect chalk-white face made almost statuesque in the hard light, that face that should have laughed at days of play, delighted in years of birthdays, smiled over Christmases and pets and decades of his bad jokes. But all that had been taken from her; she had been robbed of her childhood, of falling in love, of having a family of her own. His sister was gone, it was real, and now he was alone. But no-- not alone. He turned to Scully and pulled her to him, burying his face in the warmth of her stomach. He clung to her, held on to her for dear life. And he let the tears flow, let the pain flow out of him like a wild and untamed river. And slowly, through the tears and unbearable aching of his heart, he came awake, holding Scully, his anguish moistening the skin of her neck. And no end to that pain seemed to be in sight; it was almost worse now that he was awake and he still didn't know what had happened to her. At least in the dream he knew. The dream... it had been hurtful, almost cruel in its realism. He hadn't dreamed about Samantha in such a long time... those particular nightmares had stopped long ago. He remembered telling Scully's mother that it was scarier when you stopped having the dreams... but as the sadness consumed him now, he considered the possibility that maybe he had been wrong. Scully softly stroked his hair and cradled him tighter against her. "Shh.... it's OK. It was just a dream," she whispered sleepily. He relaxed his hold on her but stayed near, taking comfort from her closeness. She held him until they both found sleep, and in the morning he was fine; his dream nothing more than a ghostly memory. Mulder woke first. The sun streamed through the windows and bathed the bed. Scully was lying half on top of him, her bare leg curled over his own, the neck of her nightshirt slipped off of her shoulder, revealing the slightest curve of flesh. He stretched and she shifted in her sleep, rolling over onto her side. Mulder turned his head to look at her, letting his eyes trace the lines of the exposed skin of her neck, then down her back. He inched closer and pulled her back against his chest. She reluctantly emerged from slumber. "I'm sleepy." "That's OK, you can just lie there," he joked. She responded with a soft jab to his stomach. He smiled and started kissing her neck. A warm wave of desire stirred in her stomach. She kept her eyes closed. "Excuse me do I know you?" He pulled her tighter against him. "No... but you're about to..." **************************************** Scully headed towards the copy room in the basement. It was their first day back and they wanted to make sure things started moving in the right direction. The wedding had inspired them, put their fears at rest, and they no longer feared the future; on the contrary, they longed for it. It was so clear to them now, what was waiting for them: their life as a family. They wanted it more than anything, and they started taking the necessary steps towards getting there. Telling Skinner about the baby had actually gone more smoothly than they'd anticipated; in fact, he seemed to be genuinely happy for them in offering his congratulations. Joel... that was a different matter. He had an impeccable record with the Bureau, and that had gone *exactly* how she'd expected- - surprise, suspicion, doubt. After they'd spoken privately with Skinner about the baby, Mulder had left and she'd gone before a small group of her superiors, the same superiors who had questioned her about Mulder's irrational behavior and ultimately suspended her all those years ago. She'd met Skinner's eyes through the smoke-screen of questions being directed at her, and she saw that he believed her. But he was the only one, she knew that too. She held his gaze, silently imploring him to do something, but at the same time knowing there was nothing he could do. And she had done all she could; she should feel good about that... but it was an empty satisfaction. She opened the door and entered the copy room, stopping short. "Almost done--" Joel turned around to face her. They both stared at each other. Scully was suddenly very aware that the door had closed behind her and that the room was much darker then she ever remembered it. "Dana..." "I'll come back later--" she said coolly and started to turn around. The copier silenced behind him. "No, see... it's all yours." Scully didn't feel in any danger, even in that secluded room. The cinder block walls were poorly insulated; there was no way Joel would ever chance someone hearing an altercation between them. She brushed past him as he moved for the door and took his place in front of the copier. Joel reached for the knob and paused. After a second he turned around and walked back to her. Scully's hands rested on the surface of the machine as it rattled out the copies. Joel leaned back against it, standing very close to her. He folded his arms in front of him. "So I heard about you and Mulder. I mean the wedding." She turned her head to look up at him, but her body seemed frozen in place. He leaned in close. "That was kind of fast, wasn't it?" She stared at him. His handsome face looked benignly back at her, she could detect the faintest trace of his cologne in the air between them. And there was that kindness in his eyes, that tenderness that had initially been so successful in weakening all her defenses. It was amazing how he could turn it on like that. Not that she could ever be fooled by it again. He pressed her. "What was the rush?" She brought her eyes back to the copier. Why was this thing so damn slow? Joel smiled mischievously down at her. "It wasn't a shot gun wedding was it?" She turned her head quickly to look at him. He couldn't have found out about the baby so quickly, they'd just told Skinner not an hour ago. No, he was just trying to be flirtatious, to charm her, dancing along that line but not daring to cross it. He was playing games again, and had no idea the nerve he'd just hit. And she suspected he wouldn't be nearly so friendly once he'd heard about the complaint she'd filed against him. "Look if you need to make more copies I can come back later..." The door opened suddenly and Mulder came in, stopping short at the sight before him. The room hung silent with explosive tension. Mulder's grip tightened around the door knob. To see him standing so close to her... and then an instinctive protectiveness, fueled by hatred, sent him after Joel. Scully stepped in between them, placing her hands against his chest. "Mulder." But he was gaining momentum. "Mulder!" He was entirely unaware of her presence, his sights were focused in on Joel in murderous rage. He backed her right into Joel, who wrapped his arms around her in the pretense of protection... Which only infuriated Mulder further. Taking hold of her upper arm, he attempted to pull Scully free with one hand as he shoved Joel's shoulder with the other. "Get your hands off of her!" He moved her aside and grabbed hold of Joel, throwing him up against the wall. "Mulder stop it!" She took hold of his arm and yanked back. He spun around and faced her, seeming to really see her for the first time. She pulled him off to the side and whispered fiercely to him. "*I* walked in on *him*. He didn't follow me here. It was an accident... nothing happened!" He whispered back at her in that desperate tone that she knew so well...{{Well I don't trust them! I *want* to trust *you*...}}. His eyes darkened. "Not this time, Scully!" Joel silently observed the scene with a look of amusement. She grabbed hold of his tie and pulled his face to hers. "Listen to me: calm down, right now. Please, Mulder, you'll just wind up getting yourself in trouble. We don't need that." He stared at her, his breathing evening out as he tried to will down the emotion burning through him. She was right... but it was so hard. "Let's just go, I can do this later." She turned him around and guided him toward the door. Joel's voice spoke up behind them. "I don't know Dana, doesn't seem like he trusts you, does it?" Mulder turned again and Scully lay a firm hand on his chest. He looked down at her, finding in her eyes refuge from his anger. They started back out the door. "And I'd be careful if I were you, looks like he's got some violent impulses there..." Something in her snapped at the audacity of those words and she whirled on him. "Violent!" She stalked toward him, fists clenched at her sides. "Violent?!" she repeated. Mulder came up quickly behind her, circling an arm around her waist to restrain her. "Scully--" She squirmed in his hold. "You hypocritical self-important son of a bitch--" Mulder started backing towards the door with her. Joel looked back at her with his eyebrows raised in mock innocence, as if he couldn't imagine what on earth she meant. "Don't you dare look at me as if you have no idea what I'm talking about!" Mulder pulled her through the door and it closed behind them. He rested his hands on her shoulders as she leaned back against the wall just outside the copier room. "Scully... Scully look at me." The anger was still seething through her as she looked up at him, her brows drawn together in dismay. Their eyes met in mutual frustration. But they knew they'd done the right thing in reporting Joel to Skinner. He deserved whatever reckoning he received. ******************************* Scully looked at the digital clock: 11:21pm. She reached up and clicked on the lamp, flooding the bedroom with light. Mulder squinted and brought a hand up to protect his eyes. "What's goin' on, Scully?" he asked sleepily. She sat up and looked down at him. "Mulder we have to get some things soon: a crib, some diapers and clothes, am I missing something? A high chair... oh and a stroller... some bottles! How could I forget bottles. And where are we going to put the baby? We could put a crib in here for now, couldn't we? Couldn't we put a crib in here?" "Couldn't we discuss this in the morning?" "Mulder I'm just a little concerned--" "You're just a little panicking." "I'm not panicking." "And rambling." "I'm not rambling." "Scully you're the most eloquent and well-spoken woman I know, and, I don't know, maybe it's because I was just ripped so abruptly from peaceful sleep but nothing you just said made any sense to me." She frowned at him in irritation, saying nothing. "It's a little soon to freak out don't you think? We have plenty of time." She was silent. He had a pretty good idea of what was causing this anxiety. "What was your dream about?" She leaned back against the head board. "It was weird." "Dreams usually are." "Well we had the baby-- all of a sudden we just had it, like we picked it up from the pound or something." Mulder smiled as he squinted up at her, his eyes finally adjusting to the light. "And we were completely unprepared, we were running around putting together a make shift bed and using towels for blankets and we had nothing to feed it and-- what's so funny?" "You're funny. Come here-- turn off that light first--." He propped himself up on his elbow. She killed the light and inched down until her head was on the pillow, looking up at him in the moon light. He ran a finger along her creased brow. "What are you doing?" "I'm trying to make this go away." Her face relaxed with a slight smile. "What do you know, it worked." "Mulder maybe we should get a book or something." "Uh-oh it's back." "Mulder you're not listening to me." "I'm listening. We can get a book and you have your mom and you have great instincts and I have no doubt in my mind that you are going to make a wonderful mother." She raised her eyebrows at him. "Really?" "Really. Are we done panicking now?" "I wasn't panicking." He ran a hand gently over her eyes. "Shhh..." He rolled over onto his side, pulling her with him until she was curled up against his back. He tucked her arm underneath his and held her hand at his chest. She nuzzled into the back of his neck. "Thanks." She could hear the smile in his voice. "You can thank me in the morning." *************************************** Mulder chewed the end of his pencil as he listened to Langley on the other end of the phone. "Great, thanks a lot." He swung his legs up and deposited his feet on the desk. "So where's Frohike? He's been conspicuously absent the last few times I've paid a visit to your little den of iniquity." "Somehow I doubt that. Anyway, thanks Langley." He replaced the receiver and stood, moving around the desk to Scully. He kissed her softly as she sat on its surface. "Mmm, is it time for lunch yet?" "It's only 10:30 Mulder." He moved to her neck. "We could take an early lunch." He leaned into kiss her throat, she tilted her head up to allow him better access. "We only have two more files to go through," she attempted weakly. "I'm going to fall asleep if I have to look at one more of those Skinner Specials." As his hands traveled down her front, they stopped suddenly on her abdomen. He stepped back. Scully looked up at him. "What?" A small smile surfaced on his face as he ran his hand over stomach. "I think you're starting to get a little paunch." She took hold of her jacket and pulled it self-consciously around her midsection. She looked uncertainly back up at him, eyebrows raised. Mulder gently pried her hands away and re-opened her jacket, placing his hand once more on her abdomen. "I think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." She smiled at him, then her thoughts returned to the phone conversation. "So... what did Langley say?" "Flagg's legit." "They're sure? They checked him out thoroughly?" He flashed her a look. "Right, stupid question. So when do you start?" "Senator Matheson said he could arrange it for me to start as soon as it's convenient. Probably wait 'til after the baby's born." He'd lost her attention; her eyes were slowly scanning the room, taking in the surroundings as if to record every item in the room. And he knew what she was thinking: it was going to be hard leaving this. They'd spent their entire life together working in this office, on those files... her *life* was in those files. "Well I guess we photocopied all those files for nothing..." He smiled weakly and lay a hand on her cheek. He shared her thoughts of leaving this place, this part of their lives. At least they had a few more months; they had been surprised to hear that the Bureau was going to allow them to continue working together until she left for maternity leave. But it was assumed *one* of them would not be returning to the X-Files division at the end of that time. Hopefully, they would have everything with Mulder's new position set up by that time anyway. Scully was planning on taking an indefinite amount of time off to be home with the baby, so she had plenty of time to decide what she was going to do. Since he was insistent on leaving the X-files, Scully had suggested she stay and that that way he could maintain access through her; but he was strongly opposed to the idea, he would much rather have her tucked away in a nice, safe teaching position at Quantico or one of the local universities. And she understood... she felt the same security about his teaching position at Georgetown. Their thoughts were interrupted by the phone. Scully reached for the receiver. "Scully." Her eyes drifted to meet Mulder's. "All right, thank you." She replaced the receiver. "What was that about?" She slid off the desk and buttoned her jacket. "Skinner wants to see me." "You think it's about Joel?" "I know it's about Joel." She studied the desk. Mulder rested a hand on her shoulder. "I'll walk you up?" "No. No that's OK. I want to do this alone." He nodded and she smiled in appreciation. ************************************** "Come in, Agent Scully." "You wanted to see me sir." "Yes I did. Please, have a seat." She could tell by his tone that she was not going to like what he had to say. "You know I brought your charges to the attention of the appropriate people... that's what our meeting the other day was about." Scully locked her hands together and set them in her lap. "Well what you may not have known, what I didn't know either, was that yours were not the first allegations brought against Agent Miner; though none have ever been substantiated." Scully was shocked to hear about the previous charges. She shouldn't have been, but she was. "At any rate, he was also called in for a meeting. He's maintaining that after he broke off your engagement you started harassing him with telephone calls, letters, that you followed him." She sat unmoving, staring at him, as the astonishment settled over her like a heavy drape. "And that these allegations are in direct response to his breaking off your engagement." She continued to stare at him, but her eyes were focused far off. "A decision has been reached; against my advisement the Bureau has decided to handle this matter quietly. He's being transferred to a previous field office-- his first assignment after the academy." Scully's jaw tightened. Her voice just barely concealed her anger. "So that's it: transferred? He gets away with it? Even with the other complaints that have been filed against him?" Skinner looked at her apologetically. He wasn't happy about being the messenger. "I'm afraid so, Scully." Scully opened her mouth and drew in a deep breath. She struggled to keep it together, but it was hard; this was too much. Nothing-- the Bureau was going to do nothing. "What you're saying, sir, is that J. Edgar may long be dead but his boy's club mentality is alive and well and that a man's word is still always taken over a female agent's." Skinner could only stare back at her. He stood and moved around the desk to take the seat next to her. She turned her head to look at him as he leaned in her direction, then brought her eyes to the floor. She was clinging to the last remnants of her professionalism. No way she was going to lose it in front of the A.D. and perpetuate another stereotype. "I know being a female agent is a difficult thing, Scully, and that there are still a lot of people here who think the Bureau is no place for a woman. I don't happen to be one of them. I wouldn't hesitate to have you at my side going into any situation." She looked back up at him. She knew he was telling the truth, she felt that he respected her as much as she did him. Her face softened as she looked at him, but the exasperation she felt was not discriminating in its objective. She stared at him until he averted her gaze. After a moment he met her eyes again. "Of course you can appeal the decision if you--" "No thank you sir," she said curtly. "I can see that my course of action was an exercise in futility. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised; it isn't the first time. The Bureau protects its own... that is, if you're the right gender." Skinner stared back at her. There was nothing he could say; she was right, and he was sorry to have to be a part of it. Scully cleared her throat. "Is that all sir?" she asked coolly. After a moment, he gave a quick nod and she rose to leave. ****************************** Mulder looked up as the door to Skinner's reception area opened and Scully came breezing out. She cruised right by him. "Scully? What happened?" he asked, catching up to her. She continued her accelerated pace down the corridor. "Scully?" "I have to get out of here, Mulder." "OK, all right, come on..." he said soothingly, laying a hand on her back and directing her to the stairwell. He brought her down until they were halfway between the first floor and the parking garage. They sat on the landing. Mulder could see she was trembling, the tears of frustration were threatening to break free at any moment. "Tell me what happened." "Nothing. Nothing's going to happen." Mulder squeezed her hand and brought his eyes to the floor. He started slowly. "Scully you had to know what you were going up against. It was your word against his." "I know that Mulder. But what I didn't know was that there have been other complaints filed against him." "I'm not surprised." "And he's saying that he's the one who broke off the engagement, that I've been harassing him with phone calls..." she exhaled sharply in a quick, incredulous noise. "God he's portrayed me perfectly as the woman scorned. The fact that *I'm* the one who has moved on and who is now married seems to have carried little weight." Mulder rubbed her back as she continued. "I can't believe this, you know?" Her voice was tense with checked emotion. "I feel so betrayed. I've always given this job one-hundred percent. I've been dedicated and committed and what do I get?" She turned to look at Mulder and saw that his face was filled with guilt. She knew what he was thinking: her credibility, her record with the Bureau had been tarnished since working with him. "Mulder I'm not going to let you take any blame in this. It's politics, plain and simple." She took a deep breath and sighed, and Mulder could see she'd stopped shaking. He brushed her hair off her face. "So they aren't going to do anything?" She stared off into the distance. "He's being transferred." "Transferred? Where?" "Bismarck field office." Mulder smiled. "North Dakota?" "Yeah..." Scully turned her head to look at him, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, "...he never did like the cold." Then they both smiled widely. **************************** Joel stood in front of the copier sorting the last of his files on his active cases. It was now a week since he'd been informed of the transfer; next week he would leave for North Dakota. He scoffed inwardly. How could the Bureau take the word of Spooky Mulder's partner, of a woman, over his? And Bismarck? It was a step back and a slap in the face. But then, maybe it was just temporary... let Dana think he'd been "punished", then move him to a choice assignment. Yeah, maybe that was it... His thoughts were interrupted as the door swung open. "Assistant Director Skinner. This is a surprise." "I'm not here in a professional capacity Miner." He hesitated, then set his files down on the desk. "Oh?" "I'm here about Agent Scully." Joel nodded slowly, then looked to the side. "I don't know what more I can tell you, I gave my statement--" "Save it." Joel stared at him. Skinner approached him, not stopping until he was inches from his face. "You're a disgrace to this institution." Joel opened his mouth to speak but Skinner cut him off, his voice low and even, almost matter-of-fact. "You got away with it-- this time. Next time," he stepped closer and held his gaze, "they'll never find you." He paused momentarily to punctuate the sincerity behind his words, then turned and left the room. ***************************************** Despite Dr. MacDowell's constant assurances that everything was progressing normally, they tiptoed through the pregnancy. The months moved on without event, they started their accumulation of the necessary paraphernalia and the apartment was soon cluttered with piles of baby gear. It wasn't long before they started to realize there was something else they hadn't considered: they needed to get a new place. But they still had some time... Scully sat on the couch now with the how-to instructions for the crib perched on her stomach, watching Mulder fumble with the pieces on the floor. Finally, he sighed in exasperation and released the parts he was holding. "Can't we just... put a mattress on the floor or something, Scully?" he asked, really only half-joking. She smirked at him over the paper. "Sure. Why don't we just lay out some kibble and a bowl of water too..." He offered a chagrined smile. "Point taken." He examined a large hinge. "Oh I forgot to tell you, I though of a good name yesterday." He got up off the floor and moved to take a seat beside her on the couch. "If you say 'Legitimate' I'm going to kill you." He smiled. "I think 'Tax Deduction' has a better ring to it. That way we take care of a first and a middle name." She groaned at him. "Why can't I get a serious answer out of you on this? We're running out of time you know. Why do you insist on pushing my buttons?" He gave a devilish smile and moved closer, letting his hand drift down her front. "Because they're so fun to push." She smiled and swatted his hand away. "Excuse me but as your husband I'm entitled to certain rights... to certain conjugal rights..." "Spoken like a man of the fifties." "On the contrary, Scully, I'm a true nineties man." "You mean Cro-Magnon man." "Ouch." *************************** And so, after much discussion, they had decided that if it was a boy, it would be Benjamin. Scully had always liked that name and Mulder was happy with anything that wasn't Fox Jr. His middle name would be William, after both their fathers. If it was a girl, it would be Emma. They had wanted something simple and old-fashioned, and, despite Mulder's Jane Austen jokes, both liked the sound of that name. When Scully had flipped through the name book until she came across the E's, she had smiled when she read the entry. Mulder had raised his eyebrows at her, curious. "What does it mean?" Scully had handed the book to him so he could see it too. "Beloved." He had looked up and smiled back... and it was cinched. Her middle name would be Melissa... Mulder insisted. ****************************** Scully softly stroked Owen's back as he lay draped across her protruding stomach; she was now well into her ninth month. "What do you think Owen's going to think about the baby?" Mulder looked over the case file he'd brought home at her. "I don't know, but I'm sure it'll involve some kind of therapy for all of us." "Oh he's not that bad." "Scully he's spoiled rotten. He's not going to take kindly to your attention being taken away from him... he barely tolerates me." The corner of her mouth turned up as she suppress a smile. "Yeah we all do..." He suppressed a smile of his own. "Now is that how you're gonna talk to our baby?" "Of cour--" The words were choked off with a sharp stab of pain. She clutched her stomach. "Ow..." "Scully? What's the matter?" She cried out again, louder this time. "What is it what's wrong??" "Oh God Mulder... I think it's coming!" "The baby?!" "No the mail... of course the baby!" He bolted up from his chair and stood looking over at her as she lay doubled over on her side on the sofa. "But it's not supposed to happen for another week!" "Tell that to the baby!" And then she had never seen such a panic-stricken look on his face in all the time she'd known him. And she couldn't help it... in spite of the pain, she started laughing-- just started laughing. "What's so funny?" "You..." she stammered through the pain and laughter, "your face..." her breath left her sharply in a noise that might have expressed either. "Ow, ow..." She brought a hand to her stomach. "What do we do?" The humor left her voice as the beads of sweat started to glisten on her forehead. "We better get to the hospital..." ******************************** The room seemed deafeningly quiet. It was strange how one minute there was the commotion of equipment sounds and shouts and bustling of bodies around the room and the next the lights had dimmed and the room had cleared out, leaving them in peaceful quiet. The only sound that could be heard in the room was the steady beep of the heart monitor. The time between their arrival at the hospital to this moment was to Mulder a vast blur, and all of a sudden he was standing there by the bed wearing the blue hospital smock, the face mask hanging around his neck, staring at his son. He looked over at Scully. A bright flush of pink colored her cheeks, the hair at her temples was dampened with sweat, she looked exhausted. And she was beautiful. She smiled up at him. "You can sit down you know." He absent-mindedly pulled the chair behind him closer and sat by the bed. "Scully..." his voice trailed off. "You OK, Mulder?" He shook his head slowly. "I... I can't believe it. We did it." He reached over and touched the baby's hand, marveling at the tiny fingernails. "I can't believe I'm somebody's dad. Can I hold him?" "Can I see your security clearance?" she teased. Mulder reached over and brought the baby to his face, resting his head ever so lightly against his lips. "He smells good." Scully smiled at him. "I know." Mulder brought him against his chest, then slid him down to cradle him in his arm. He had the darkest peach-fuzz covering his head, and Mulder thought he looked much more wrinkled than he remembered babies looking. He was staring intently back at him, his forehead creased, his blue eyes blinking slowly in the deepest concentration. What was he thinking? Did he know who he was? He was overwhelmed with love for this little person. It was as intense as anything he'd ever felt for Scully, only different. How could that be? He'd only known him a few minutes... It was a primal, instinctive love, the bond of blood that keeps our species going and he had never experienced anything like it in his life. "What are you thinking?" "I'm..." he shook his head slowly as the corner of his mouth curled into a crooked smile "...terrified." She smiled back at him. "You have great instincts and I have no doubt that you're going to make a wonderful father," she echoed. "And besides, just in case... I bought you the manual." He nodded slightly, then looked back at the baby and shrugged. "I don't know what to say to him, Scully." "Tell him who you are." "You mean I should tell him I'm the guy he's going to inherit all those 'Celebrity Skins' from?" She closed her eyes and shook her head at him in exasperation. He smiled widely at her then looked back down at his son. "Hi." His face turned serious as he watched him. "I'm your father." ***************************** Mulder sat in the room holding the baby as Scully slept. He looked up at the sound of soft tapping from the door. Mrs. Scully entered quietly. Mulder smiled at the sight of her-- he'd just left the message a while ago; she must have flown here. Her hands came up to her face as her eyes took in the sight before her. She walked over and knelt beside the chair. "Hello, Fox," she whispered. "Say hello to your grandson," he whispered back to her, adjusting the baby so she could get a better look. "Benjamin William Mulder." "Oh... he's beautiful!" She smiled and ran a hand gently over the baby's head. After a moment, she looked back up at Mulder. "How's Dana?" "Exhausted." A weary voice came from the direction of the bed. "What are you two whispering about?" They both turned to look at Scully. Maggie got up and Mulder stood with her. He handed the baby to her, then reached over to grasp Scully's hand. "I'll get you some water." She smiled at him, realizing he was giving her a moment alone with her mom. When he'd gone, Maggie sat on the edge of the bed with her daughter and grandson. With her free hand, she reached out and stroked Scully's hair, her eyes filling with tears. "Your father would have been so proud, Dana." Scully lowered her eyes as the lump formed in her throat. "And he would've liked Fox." She thought of her Dad, and of Missy, and wished so much they could be there to share that moment with her. And she had to believe that they were. ********************************** Mulder sat on the floor amidst a mess of classifieds as Scully sat up on the couch. Several weeks had passed, Ben was nearing the two month mark, and she had shed most of her extra weight with surprising speed... she had breast-feeding to thank for that. She brought a section of the paper to her face. "Here's one: two bedroom, close to metro, air... what's 'spacious LAR'?" Mulder continued to scan his section. "Living Area." "Spacious living area... oh forget it. No pets..." she sighed in aggravation. "All of these are no pets." "Maybe we could put one of Ben's outfits on him and try to pass him for a twin." She smirked at him. "And would that be 'Chang' or 'Ang'?" The phone rang out simultaneously with the sound of the baby starting to cry. Scully reached behind her for the phone and Mulder got up to go into the bedroom. "Hello?" As the voice on the other end of the line spoke, she froze, then swung her legs off the couch and leaned forward, listening carefully. "What? Who is this? No wait--" The line went dead and she held the receiver at her chin. She rose quickly from the couch and gathered her keys and purse, then went down the hall to peek her head in the bedroom. Mulder was caressing the baby's back, quieting his little sobs. Scully offered a forced smile. "I have to run out, keep an eye on Ben." Before he could ask any questions she turned and headed back down the hallway. "Where are you going Scully?" he called after her. "Gotta go-- I'll fill you in when I get back!" she called out to him. "Scully--" he stopped at the sound of the door closing, then looked down at Ben. Finally, he picked him up and held him at his face, a slight smile grazing his lips. "OK little guy, if you wanna get along in this family, you've got to be mobile..." **************************** Scully burst through the door of the police station and headed toward the Detectives unit. My God could it be true? Or was someone out to play another cruel joke on Mulder? That was exactly the reason she'd decided not to tell him about this... better to be the buffer just in case it was a hoax, no need to put him through all that unavoidable pain for no reason. And if it wasn't a hoax? If it was true? If someone really had found Samantha... ******************************* Mulder unclipped Ben's car seat, took hold of the handle and pulled the contraption out of the car with the baby bundled inside. He started up the walkway toward the station. What the hell was she doing coming here? Why didn't she tell him what was up? There was only one plausible answer-- Joel; this had to be about Joel. He reached the entrance and passed through the door, heading toward the front desk. ****************************** Scully approached a tall, stocky gentleman in his late forties. "Detective Douglas?" "Mrs. Mulder?" Scully balked momentarily at the use of that term, she still always thought of Mulder's mom every time she heard it. "Yes. I was told to ask for you..." "That's right. Right this way." He directed her towards a room at the end of an adjoining hallway. "We didn't have anywhere else to put her." He opened the door and Scully stepped through. And then she felt like the wind had been knocked right out of her. "Oh my God..." End Part 13