BattleTech: Takin' it to the Max.. report filed by Private Johnson - Company back on Outreach hustling for new contracts..local labour exhange lists 3 potential mission for us. 1 Pirate Eradication, 2 Relief for a planet under attack...and 3 a deep deep uncover mission into deep deep Clan Jade Falcon terrority.. - The Pirate Mission sounded hot..so we enquire about this...nope..already taken...arse...ok..next, reinenforcements to planet under attack...nope gone. Double arse...so I guess that leaves the deep deep uncover mission eh DaveG?...Kell is annoyed why the DM proffered us three when the choice was one. - Anyway the mission is for company to sneak into Clan Falcon terrority and do a bit of spying. To wit, the installation of a special secrety type thingy on aboad a Clan Warship in orbit around a planet. Then sitting & listening in for 2 pieces of information regarding it's intended movements & plans by the use of a large antenna array (to be deployed in an apartment on planet). - Thats it? Can't you make it harder than that? - So we go..a week or two in jump space to arrive as "traders" on the Clan occupied world...we find the Warship 'The Emerald Talon"..(fecking girl's name for a ship - Rich) in orbit around planet. - Trading commences..after a few dry runs shipping food and sheet the boys decide that in order to plant the secrety comms thingy we need to nick a couple of ship uniforms. This to be done when the laundry run is in progess. During the dry running, Sukh sucessfully hides his tranq gun behind an access panel on the Emerald Talon for use later...obviously much much later ...easy come...easy go.... The plan is to get 2 dudes to slip away somewhere in the massive cargo bay, these dudes to then put on the stolen ship uniforms. Once dressed in the correct apparel, the dudes should have no problems in slipping the device into the Ship's Comms array. ..when no ones looking... There are 2 ways to get these much required uniforms a) break into the ACME Laundrette and take some uniforms b) break into the ACME Laundrette, take some uniforms and then fire-bomb the place down to the ground! Rich decides on Option b) - The plant comms device plan is undertaken..with sucess!. Sukh find an apartment in Scumsville and sets up the eavesdropping equipment. - A few days of pleasureable dossing occurs where the boys take on the parts of hardened coppers on a stake out...mucho pizzas, staring into binoculars and playing cribbage occurs... - One day, we listen in to something interesting, a new ship jumps into the system and asks the Emerald Talon to identify itself...from the Clan's radio chatter it is clear they don't know who's side the mystery ship is on...after a period of scanning and searches through their database.. the Clan Dudes (and thus us) learn that the new ship is in fact the SLS Manasses, listed as "Missing" for the last 400 years!..but the scans report back that the ship is in pristine condition....The Jade Falcon Commander orders an intercept and board order...'cause they want that Star League Jumpship in Mint Condition!...The Clan Ship lays in an intercept course. - Dollar symbols fade from the eyes of several of the company...a quick show of hands determines that the boys bin the 'Listen Into' mission and get to the Manasses before the Clan Warship does.. - We scamper onto out Dropship and leave the starport faster than the Millenenium Falcon leaving Mos Eisley...full rocket power..20 G acceleration! - BANG!...the Boys Dropship speeds like a comet thru the system and reach the Manasses before the Clan Warship...a barrage of 'Get the feck outta here New, Minty Ship!' over the radio gets the Manasses to agree to join us and jump out of the system to our staging post within the 'Dark Nebula' Jacques: 'Why is it called the Dark Nebula?' Creek: 'Cause it's a Nebula..and it's Dark...' - Once there we exchange a pile of info and find out that the Manasses have just jumped 400 years into the future when they thought they were jumping to the rendevous with Kerensky for the Original Exodus! - After telling the capt how evil the Clans are he agrees to join us and travel back to the Inner Sphere..and then will turn over the ship to us, for us to then sell for bucket loads of cash... ...ok we didn't mention that last bit... - It is during this bit of communication that a shuttleload of nutter leave the Manasses and head down to the only planet in this system ...the planet of Roxborough... Private Rod: - Didn't we have to chase some moronic mutineers (with no weapons or survival gear etc) around a pre-historic planet then save their asses when they get jumped by a load of vicious turkey-sized raptors? Private Rich: - Ahhh yes upon appearing at the dark nebula, some of the crew decide to leave and set up shop on the planet there not being au fait with our info that it's a dinosaur infested volcano sprouting hell hole that no one returns from :-) . - But the captain of the 400 yr old dudes wants them back to discipline them (ooer), we volunteeer to go for no money but just the chance to use our guns :-) - We land on the planet and DaveG informs us the jungles so thick that mechs are a no no. I decide to test this theory by taking my mech outside and burning down all the jungle around the ship to create a killing ground. - Unfortunately no amount of arguing can persuade DaveG that mech good on foot bad. The boys disembark, loins a gurded and weapons slung, it proves surprisingly easy to track the 400 yr old dudes and we come upon them being attacked by the aforementioned dinosaurs. - Sphincters spasm and people start to choose from the massive armoury of weapons we've bought along, I know there is only one choice for the discerning dino hunter..... - Grenade Launcher FULL AUTO, a few stray shots go in to no effect from small arms then.. 'fwump, fwump, fwump, fwump, fwump' - Mr GL comes into play on random load the target dinosaur disappears in a cloud of smoke, flash, gas, HE, and shrapnel grenades I blow the smoke off the muzzle while Kell makes a mental note to get a bigger gun :-) - The fight after that is brief and viscious 40% casualties to the people we are rescuing no worries........ ..................... - To cut a very long story short..we foolishly decide to jump with the Manasses to Outreach and tell our Jumpship to go back alone...yes, we decide to jump with the ship with the dodgy jump engines rather than with our own reliable ship....8-|...the Capt on the Manasses has his own ideas however...he jumps back to the Clan world and decides to go down in a suicidal attack on the Emerald Talon! - the sphincter nerve goes!..the boyz decide to undertake an immediate mutiny..Sukh straps himself into his Mech...everyone else storms the Engine Room in a bid to neutralize the bridge from there and then jump us outta this unnecessary combat situation... - The battle with the Emerald Talon goes badly ..very badly..half the Manasses's crew have mutinied as well and abandoned ship...the Emerald Talon is blasting huge fecking chunks outta the Manasses...death is certain...the cynide capsules are handed out...Rich presses the big red button! - the Manasess does the 50-50 jump inside a star-system...50% live 50% die...Rich rolls the dice...a sucess...we live!...the ship lurches and shudders...gravity controls shut down... various company members travel into things coming in the other direction...like steel bulkheads.. ..various bones and limbs are splintered and crushed...Sukh inside his cockpit, pops in another valium pill and giggles... - The unplotted jump is however somewhat short...we move from side of the system to the other...the Emerald Talon pivots 180 degrees and heads in our direction...the Manasses was fecked before the jump...so after the jump it is *totally* fecked...we'll never get away with the '1 careful owner' speel after this amount of damage! - Options are leave ship and a) head to Clan planet..to await the Garrison or b) head to a lifeless, airless, weak gravity asteriod and hide inside a large snake's gut until danger passes... - The asteriod plan is agreed...the dropship detachs itself from the listing and gutted Manasses..it rockets towards an asteriod, it lands on asteriod, it then hides... ..time passes... - the rumble of squadrons of Clan fighters dropping thermonuclear bombs on the asteriod surface to flush us out begins to be heard...more valium pills are popped. - The clan forces transmit a message to ask us for defending forces...so it's stay quiet...and hope we don't get nuked... answer truthfully (and fight 4 of us against 4 of them) or..answer truthfully and then cheat...8-) - the least wounded warriors of 'The Backdoor Boys' (Sukh (no injuries), Rich (broken arm), Kell (bruises) & The Baron (bruises) get into the 4 Clan Mechs we brought with us & disembark onto the lifeless, airless and broken surface of Asteriod 347586-113... - Our dudes, wearing vacc suits, empty the air in their cockpits to avoid sudden decompression in the unlikely event of a head shot....8-|... DaveG states that losing all armour in any location will cripple that location. So...this is gonna be one vicious fight. - PhilM, for reasons unknown, gets into a vacc suit and then steps out of the Dropship airlock. He then secretes himself on a level 2 ridge nearby, a pair of binoculars and tight-beam radio at the ready..... - The fight ensues...we lose the Wraith and the Thor...PhilM almost gets killed... we'll try harder next time...the Clans yield when we get the upper hand.. - The Clan Warship allows us to leave the system unmolested. - We arrive back on Outreach with no new prinstine jumpship, no mission information and have to beg for a little cash to keep the company going. - From the remains of the dead mechs, we can bring the Warhammer back online and so buy a 3 mill Spider for the Baron as he loves small mechs.... Report Ends.