BattleTech: Reports from the Front Line ======================================= as written by the Duke-in-Waiting, Ferdinand of Altringham given life and form by Rod Kelly aka "KELL" (c) FEB 2001 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Black Crow Mercenary Unit Roster (by Rank) *cue: military drum beat as in start of Dirty Dozen* Role: Company Commander Rank: Major Name: Il Barone Umberto Cesare Giove Quatro-Formagi con Pepperoni Pleb: Gray Role: Company Number 2 Rank: Captain Name: Sven Knobbli Krow Pleb: Rod Role: 1st Lance Commander (& Vice Captain...*cough*..) Rank: First Lieutenant Name: The Great Arch Grumble Duke-in-Waiting, Ferdinand of Altringham Pleb: Kell Role: 2nd Lance Commander (& VERY Petty Officer) Rank: Second Lieutenant Name: Judas Storm Pleb: PhilM Role: Mechwarrior Rank: Sergeant (cause I quite like the chewed cigar & 'secure that shit..' gig) Name: Turkey Creek Jack Johnson Pleb: Sukh (played by DM) Role: Mechwarrior Rank: Private Name: Zeus Voyager Bond Pleb: PJ Role: Mechwarrior Rank: Private Name: Jacque Scarfe Pleb: PhilM (played by DM) Role: Mechwarrior Rank: Private Name: Penelope Jennifer Jones Pleb: Rich (played by DM) Role: Mechwarrior Rank: Private Name: Nalc Bashfelt Pleb: Rob (forgotten by DM) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue: Resurrection Well, Dave kindly resurrected the Backdoor Boys aka Black Crows (?) all with half decent mechs and worked out the new scenario ... then Kell :-) spotted that he wasn't playing his Duke-in-waiting Ferdinand. Oh says Dave well if you want to play him you can - clearly surprised by this turn of events - quite possibly because Ferdinand is a character with few stats, a couple of inconvenient quirks and a Quickdraw as opposed to an Enforcer which Kell's other character had. Indeed it was to be a day of the uncharacteristic ... Kell turning up fit and well ... PJ becoming couscous boy ... The Backdoor Boys' money had dwindled due to a protracted stay on the world of women and hedonism. It was time to go back to doing what they do best but before MacDonalds employed them once more they'd try one last campaign. Dave spells out the reason for why we are going out to shoot something - Gray takes notes - the rest of mess about (nothing uncharacteristic so far). We are one of three teams to go up one of three mountain passes to reach the rebel fortress. We are put on a drop-ship. We are taken to the narrowest of the three passes. A world of pain awaits. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 1: Mines Oh yes ... at the briefing it turns out that Gray's character is my character's uncle and daddy has asked Gray to look after me :-) Dropship lands. Only five of us make it off. Sukh, Rich and PhilJ can't start there mechs - they have been infected with a virus. Ooooh - we can't trust some of our techs!!!!! The vainglorious five walk with heads held high. Dave lays the pass out. Dave takes the pass away. Dave lays out the proper pass. Dave takes down lots of numbers of hexes. Apparently there are mines. Gray has a beagle probe so we line up behind him. Helicopters appear. A strafing run seems inevitable. Suddenly a straight line does not look good. "Dave - We can scan for mines?" "Yes PJ" "I'll jump to my next hex" "Dave - you can scan for mines while jumping?" "Yes Kell" "Dave - what can you do if you scan for mines while jumping and find mines on the hex you are landing in?" "Nothing" "OK" Never fear Kell has a one shot SRM for the helicopters!! Curiously not much of a reaction from the rest of the team. Tanks come and go and the helicopters attack. Kell leave one for me I have a one shot SRM. The helicopters come and go. "Bastards - I have a one shot SRM for helicopters and you've gone and shot them down before I can get in range ... this mech is shit." "Kell, what are you on about? One shot SRMs are used on helicopters - i.e. helicopters have them attached and fire them." "They aren't anti-helicopter missiles?" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 2: Hidden "Dave ... where do these tanks keep coming from?" "They're hidden" "Yes but we're using sensors - how come we can't spot them?" "They're hidden" "Yes but what technology are they using for us not to see them?" "Camouflage" "But surely it will send out some energy we can pick up on" "No" "Well, what kind of camouflage?" "Netting and bits of trees mainly" PJ> "So all I need is to hold a tree infront of me and I'm hidden?" "Yes, except you keep using your jump jets - a jumping tree might give the game away" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 3: Snow At this stage Kell who has missed most of the fighting cos he can't get in range before the others have finished the enemy finds himself in the front?!!!!!! We make it to the tracks of the last tank that high tailed it of the board cos we know there won't be any mines in his tracks. Dave lays out the rest of the pass - lots of level 6s and level -2s ... ... and ... ... there's a lot of snow ... ... so? ... ... half speed ... ... so the Atlas moves? ... ... two hexes ... ... you are kidding? ... ... three if it sprints ... ... sprints? ... ... no weapons ... ... what if the Atlas walks behind another mech? ... ... two hexes ... ... but it's snow ... ... two hexes ... ... shit! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 4: Beagle So we proceed - Gray beagling, Atlas trudging and the rest of moving along. "Dave" "Where did that mech just come from?" "Hidden" "Net?" "No ... cave" PhilM walks to the entrance of the cave and unleashes hell. The cave is lit up from the glow of explosions, plasma, the works - it is not a pretty sight. The Atlas moves two hexes, turns at the waist and unleashes hell part 2. The enemy can't even use his ejector seat. The dust settles. The mech stands. PJ jumps and unleashes a bit of hell not as impressive as parts one and two but decent enough all the same. The enemy cannot eject. The mech stands. The enemy unloads. "Not a chance he'll take out PhilM is there?" "No ... no way" "Would be good though wouldn't it!!" "Can we ask the enemy pilot to join us?" Whoosh, whoosh, dak-a-dak, zing ... too late. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 4.1: Law If you can picture the scene Atlas and PhilM pouring devastating fire power into a cave containing an enemy mech. A shimmering appears in PhilM's cockpit ... "I AM THE LAW" "The law?" "I AM THE LAW" "Of what?" "I AM THE LAW OF EXPLOSIONS IN CONFINED SPACES" "Right ... and you're in my cockpit why exactly?" "I AM THE LAW OF EXPLOSIONS IN CONFINED SPACES AND I HAVE COME TO TEACH YOU" "Teach me about what?" "WELL ... EXPLOSIONS IN CONFINED SPACES" "Look, is this going to take long? It's just that we're a bit busy with this mech in a cave" "PHILM WHAT IS AN EXPLOSION?" "Basically a huge amount of energy rapidly expanding outwards from it's epicentre" "AND WHAT IS A CONFINED SPACE?" "A restricted area or volume" "AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A RAPIDLY EXPANDING FORCE OF ENERGY MEETS THE BOUNDARIES OF AVAILABLE SPACE?" "If the material confining the explosion is strong enough it will deflect the explosion back towards it's epicentre" "AND IF THE MATERIAL IS NOT OF SUFFICIENT STRENGTH?" "Then the weakest part of the material will rupture and the force of the energy will be focused on and through that area" "AND HOW IS ANOTHER WAY OF DESCRIBING THE MOUTH OF A CAVE?" "It is the equivalent of a rupture?" "YES ... YOU HAVE DONE WELL WITH THE THEORY ... AND NOW FOR THE PRACTICAL DEMONSTRATION ... AND BY THE WAY" "Yes" "JUST HOW MUCH ARMOUR DO YOU HAVE LEFT AND JUST HOW GOOD ARE YOUR PILOTING SKILLS?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 5: Winkle Gray continues beagling and three more mechs pop up. Mucho consultation. "They're all in caves?" "Yep" "Can only get them by taking fire?" "Yep" "Options?" "Atlas, long range, winkle them out like ... well, like winkles" "But you're on the wrong side of the board" "I'll cross" "That'll take ... that'll take ... ages" "Well, do you have any other suggestions?" "No" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 6: Spirit Editor's note: Readers should be aware that at this point whilst the general shape of the battle is correct details are hazy. This is as a direct result of the fact that this account is from the journals of Ferdinand of Altringham as the following log excerpt(s) illustrate ... "Out gunned by me comrades, out gunned by the enemy. What's a boy to do?" "A Jenna, a Jenna ... apparently it's in my league ... tally ho!" "Bloody hell. Similar levels of weaponry mean similar levels of damage inflicted. The old mechs looking a little shabby I can tell you." "Bored, bored, bored" "Bored, bored, bored" "Still bored" "Wait, what's this ... me old trusty hip flask ... well, wouldn't'cha know it." "A quick nip won't hurt" "Well, just one more" "Stand in front of PJ and take fire to protect what's left of his mech? Sounds like a job for a career soldier like me, and my father, and my grandfather, and his father before him ... what ... OK, OK, OK, I'm moving!" "Yeah? And up yours too fella!!" "Hello darling ... want a ride?" "Will the mech sitting down just die ... DIE DAMN YOU !!!!" "Well, about bloody time ... the Atlas in position, shoots one out the air ... BLOODY GOOD SHOOTING OLD SON ... bit of tidying up ...don't mind if I do Chuffy ... and here's to your health too ... and one for Cardinal Chunder" "I know, let's sit down and use our jump jets to burn the snow so the fecking Atlas can get a move on" "Apparently my jump jets are on my back" "Tally ho!" "Blazes but this thing knocks you about a bit at full speed ... can you drive more carefully Chuffy dear fellow ... I'm spilling my drink .... and now the drinks cabinet fallen over ... here take the controls" "Sensors ... sensors ... the enemy ... behind us ... rear lasers, open fire" "No, no, no I tell you ... there's enemy all around. They're in the wires. Ambush!! Ambush!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 7: Rich It was at this point that: - PJ managed to avoid the laser fire - Gray managed to convince the Atlas not to destroy his nephew - Gray persuaded Kell to dismount and taste the snow. After the group hug the troupe moved slowly forward. The Atlas moved slowly forward. The fortress didn't move but came into view ... slowly. "Static ... static ... dropship ... taking fire ... static ... techs have revolted ... Sukh, Rich, PhilJ kidnapped ... static" Consultation:- "Let's go back" "At two hexes?!!!" "Let's go forward" "They're our comrades" "Even Rich?" "They'd do it if it were us" "Even Rich?" "We can't let them die" "Even Rich?" "Let's split the party - PhilM and Atlas attack, jump jet boys go back" "Forward" "Backward" "Split" "Even Rich?" . . . . . . . . "Oh alright ... back we go" . . . "Even Rich?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 8: Foot So, the heroic party rejoins the dropship to find out that the kidnapped guys have been taken to ... ... the fortress ... ... the fortress the party was 200 yards from a few hours a go ... ... the fortress now surrounded by the teams from the other passes ... ... the fortress now going to fall to the allied forces. So what's the plan? Ground control has located a tunnel entrance that the party can use to infiltrate the fortress and while the allied forces are attacking the fortress from the outside the party will leave their mechs and assault on foot. The party look stunned ... action out of their mechs ... what kind of idiot would want that? Old camp bags are located, dust and cobwebs blown off, mothballs by the hundred cascade onto the floor. "What's that?" "A rifle I think" "And that?" "Different kind of rifle?" "What's this?" "The barrel?" Meanwhile RodP and Gray can be seen whispering together ... "I don't care if he is your nephew I want to hit him" "Look, I've got things under control" "Well let him help me check my weapons" "You're going to make him look down the barrel aren't you" "No" "Yes you are" "Well only for a little bit" "No" The whispering continued. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 9: Backpack The party stocks up and arrives at disembarkation point. "Everyone got their equipment?" "Si Baroni" "Right let's go men. Erm PhilM." "Yes" "Carrying enough?" "Can't be too sure sir" "Well, if you can't hack it don't pack it" "No problem sir" "OK, good man." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 10: Water The party make their way to the entrance of the tunnel. "That's water" "That's a lot of water" "Respirator time" Kell> "I don't have one Baron" Baron>"Well you'll just have to hold your breath" Kell>"For how far?" Baron>"You'll make it. Now get in there. Ah." Kell>"Ah?" Baron> "Seems I don't have a respirator either" The party enter the water and Kell seems to be having difficulty breathing .. well, not breathing. The rest of the party will him on, after all it's just a matter of will power and determination, strength of will, mind over matter ... that shouldn't be any problem for an addict ... such .......... as ..................ah" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 11: Boats Wet and cold the party enter a cavern. They hide behind some kayaks/boats. "These are dry" "They are aren't they" "Well how the bugger do they remain dry through a flooded tunnel?" "I dunno" "We're here now ... that's what counts" "Well, that's fine coming from Mr. Respirator head" "Shhhhhhh" "Sorry sir" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 12: Stealth On dry land our fine lads notice a tunnel, a dark tunnel, with CCTV and a trip wire. "Shit. They are going to know we're coming" "There's an all out assault - I think they're expecting us any way" Baron> "Who's a good shot?" "I'm not bad" "Nor am I" "I'll give it a go" "I've got a missile" "No I want to shoot it" "No, let me" ZAP "What did you do that for PJ?" "Come on guys for gawds sake let's move" Baron>"But what about the trip wire" "Shit" Baron>"Anyone got bomb expertise?" Baron>"Well, anyone got demolitions" "I've got security device skills" "Stand aside I'll do it" Baron>"Guys?" "Yes" Baron>"Where are you?" "In the tunnel" Baron>"But I'm still working on the trip wire" "We stepped over it carefully. Didn't jog you did we? Sorry" In the gloom of the tunnel the outline of another CCTV can just be seen. "Who wants this one?" "I've got a missile" Dak-a-dak. Thacka, thacka. Zap. Zing. "Gone. Who got it? RodP I think. Damn - here's the fiver. Was sure I'd get it" The party turns the corner. DAK A DAK A DAK A DAK A DAK A DAK A DAK A DAK A DAK A DAK "What was that?" "Pardon?" "I said what was that" "I'm sorry ... I can't hear you ... the automated pillbox at the end of the tunnel is making too much noise" The party retreats to behind the corner. "How the hell are we going to deal with that?" "I've got a missile" "Well, how much damage are we going to have to do?" "I've got a missile" "Well, someone could inch their way belly crawling and grenade it" "I've got a missile" "Do you reckon we could distract it, you know draw it's fire and someone could make a run up the side of the tunnel and grenade it?" "I've got a missile" "Shit we're stuck" PhilM>"Guys" "Yes" PhilM>"Give me room" "What have you got there? That's not a missile is it? Jeez he's got a missile" RodP>"Can I make a suggestion?" PhilM>"No, I'm firing it" RodP>"I think you want to hear this" PhilM>"I know it's a confined space but we have no other options" RodP>"I know it's just that with you lying on the ground and the missile exhaust going down your back you're OK till it gets to your arse" PhilM>"Ah. Good point. I was just getting the range" RodP joins the rest of the party standing in the widest part of the cavern and well away from the entrance to the tunnel currently occupied by PhilM, a pillbox and a missile. A shimmering appears at the side of PhilM "I AM THE ..." WHOOOOSH ...............................................................KABOOOOM !!!!!! "Good of you to come out of the tunnel to tell us you'd finished PhilM. Course the explosion kinda gave it away. Do you need any help to get out of the water? No? Right you are then. You'll join us in a minute? I SAID YOU'LL JOIN US IN A ... WATCH MY LIPS ... WATCH MY LIPS ... I SAID ... STAY WITH US, STAY WITH US ... how many fingers? how many fingers? no not me ... how many fingers has he got left?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 13: Guards Meanwhile in a CCTV monitoring room two guards are watching events unfold. "Would you look at those guys" "I know. Works every time. Make em swim through the tunnel and then leave some dry boats in the cavern." "I told you at the time that it was a stupid place to build a boat." "I know but that's the beauty of it. One boat - practical joke. But who's gonna build two boats for a joke?" "That one's weighed down a bit isn't he" "Yeah. Gawd knows what he's carrying." "Rocket?" "Ha ha. Wouldn't put anything passed this lot. Oh wait ... wait ... the trip wire ... the trip wire ... every time!!" "Here we go ... yada yada yada ... shoot the camera ... yada yada yada ... shoot the camera ... yada yada yada ... pillbox!! Nearly took his fecking head off. Oh my sides are hurting. Oh stop it. No ... he has ... he's got a missile!! That's it ... lie down ... whisper, whisper, whisper ... stand up ... everyone runs like a bastard ... fiver he reaches the water." "You're on ...... ah, shit" "Easy money" "What they say? Rewind it and boost the sound" "Do ... you ... think ... they ... know ... we're ... coming?" "Classic. They couldn't write this stuff any better." "Time to suit up?" "Reckon so. Don't forget your ... " "I know, I know ... don't forget your helmet ... you're worse than my mother" "I was going to say don't forget your gloves actually." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 14: Parka As the dust settles and the party pick their way over the rubble they reach a door. Baron>"Security locked. Any one got the skills?" The party shuffle their feet, look downwards, sideways, any ways that isn't in the Baron's direction. The Baron muttering to himself {if you want a job done ... }. Finally a satisfying click is heard. Gingerly the door is opened to reveal a room with a tiled floor, a couple of wooden benches, lockers and shower cubicles at the far end. Steam flows from the hot water of the showers, men flex their oiled muscles and beckon to the Baron whilst the air is filled with heavenly music. The Baron clenches his eyes firmly shut, counts to three and opens them again ... the steam, men and music are gone. A shudder runs through his body before he stands and walks through the door. {School days ... the best days of a boy's life ... pah!} On the right hand side there is another door. The Baron strides forward and begins again. {Easy does it} Snigger. {OK. Same as last time?} Snigger. {Cross link A and B} Snort. The Baron sighs. "OK. What is it?" "Sorry sir but it's PJ" {Short out C - my that's difficult to get to} "PJ?" "Yes sir" More stifled sniggers. {OK now the tricky bit} "What is it?" "It's a parka sir" {Knit one ... did they say "parka"?} "What about a parka?" "He's putting one on sir" {Did he just say PJ's trying a parka on?} "PJ?" "Sir?" {Pearl one} "Explain yourself" "Well, I've found a pod full of parkas, diving suits, respirators, that kind of stuff and well it's going to be a bit nippy up top" {Did he say "respirator"?} "PJ. Did we need parkas to get from the dropship to the tunnel?" "No sir" {Where the hell am I with this thing?} "PJ. Do you think we're likely to be running around a lot up there, ducking and diving, and dodging the enemy? Possibly even a spot of hand to hand combat?" "Yes sir" {Sigh. OK. Cross link A and B - check.} "PJ ... lose the parka" "Yes sir. Sorry sir" {Shorted C.} "Oh and PJ" "Yes sir?" {Knit one, pearl one, oh who cares ... shoot the door Baron ... blow the door Baron.} "Get me one of those repirators would you?" "Yes sir." CLICK {Thank you God, thank you.} ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 15: Door On the other side of the door two figures wait. Two suited figures wait. Without helmets. Meanwhile back in the shower room. Baron> "RodP, Kell ... I'm going to open the door a chink. Snap shot anything that moves. Got it?" RodP> "OK. Ready." {Why am I so tense?} Kell>"Guys ... what does full auto mean?" The door opens the tiniest of amounts. DRRRRRRAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK. Kell>"Whoa this suckers got a hair trigger. You OK RodP? Almost got you in the back there." RodP>"Sheeet. Did you see that guys hand go?" {Jeez I felt those whistle passed me.} Baron>"And he had his glove on." On the other side. "My hand." "Your hand." "My hand." "Your hand." Back in the shower room. Baron>"OK. Door. Flash grenades. Snap shots." RodP>{Deep breaths. Relax.} The door opens again. FLASH. FLASH. BOOM. BOOM. DRRRRRRRAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKK. KABOOM. Baron>"Good job." Kell>"Shotgun heh?" RodP>{Didn't hit me this time either now did he? No of course not. We're all on the same side. Let's not get paranoid.} Back on the other side. "My leg." "Your leg." "Your hand." "My hand." The door opens. Baron>"Give in?" "We give in." "We give in." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 16: Computer Baron>"There's some computer terminals ... see if we can get anything up on them." Kell and PhilM step up. Area Commander's note:- It is interesting to note that in each of the party member's debriefing mention is made to the sound of banjos. There have been no other reports of piped muzak at the fortress and no record of any music equipment, personal or otherwise, found by any other personnel. RodP remembers only a nagging voice regarding "Kell's missing PJ with laser fire whilst in his mech, Kell's missing RodP with sub-machine gun fire in the shower room and Kell's apparent affinity with the enemy's computer system." Kell>Tappity tap tap tap. PhilM>Tappity tap tap tap. Kell>"I'm in" Kell>Tappity tap tap tap. PhilM>Tappity tap tap tap. Kell> "I've found the menu list" PhilM>"I'm in" Kell>Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap PhilM>Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap Kell>"I've found the layout of the fortress" PhilM>"I've found the menu list" Kell>Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap PhilM>Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap Kell>"I've found the camera locations" PhilM>"I've found the layout of the fortress" Kell>Tappity tap tap tap. PhilM>Tappity tap tap tap. Kell>"Accessing cameras" PhilM>"I've found the camera locations" Kell>Tappity tap tap tap. PhilM>Tappity tap tap tap. Kell>"Battle is in full swing, breaches in outer defences, there's a girl standing in front of a tank, she doesn't see it, she doesn't see it, thank the lord a Peugeot driver dived and pushed her to safety." PhilM>"Accessing cameras ... never liked the 406" Kell&PhilM>Tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity PhilM>"Naw, I've lost it. I don't know where he's going. Go boy, go." Kell>"File structures. Command files. Executes. Nope all shut out. This is a dumb terminal." Area Commander's note:- Party members also make reference to "inbreeding" and "Yankee Doodle Dandy" - flag for possible future cross referencing and/or psychiatric assessments. Kell>"Er, guys you need to see this. There's a room above us, the stairs are just through that door over there and reinforcements are heading this way." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 17: Split Kell>"Sir they appear to be building something. Building and singing." Baron>"Singing?" Kell>"Something about 'anything you can do we can do better'." Baron>"And what are they building?" Kell>"Looks something like an artillery barrage sir." The Baron looks at PhilM "Now see what you've started." PhilM>"Not to worry sir we're not beaten yet." PhilM opens the door to the landing. At the far end the stairs go up (left to right) and then turn 90 degrees to the right to lead back to the room above the party. Baron>"Kell can you locate the hostages?" Kell>Tappity tap "Yes sir they're held in the dungeon." Baron>"And where's that?" Kell>"Erm, downstairs sir?" Baron>"Ah, of course it is. Right we're going to need two of you to hold of the reinforcements whilst the rest of us go down and liberate our comrades. PhilM, you and PJ hold them off, RodP and Kell will come with me. PhilM ... missile?" PhilM>"Oh better than that sir ... an Inferno!" "Right, and we've considered back blast?" said the Baron edging his way back into the room he'd just come from. PhilM>"Oh yes sir. Got it covered." Baron>"Good man, I'll leave you to it then. RodP what's through that door?" RodP>"Over flow armoury by the looks of it sir." Baron>"Good strong door is it?" RodP>"Looks pretty solid to me." Baron>"Room for a small one?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 18: Rent PhilM stands near the bottom of the stairs, missile launcher on shoulder, aiming at a point on the wall halfway up the stairs. His finger gently pulls the trigger and time slows to a halt. A small rent in the space time continuum appears on the stairs where they turn through 90 degrees. A shimmering peeks through the rent, decides it's safe and steps through. It surveys the scene; noting the direction of the missile launcher. Its head slowly turns as it carefully traces the missiles trajectory; first to the wall and then off the wall and up the second tier of steps into the room above. It appears to shake it's head before it steps back through the rent. A silent "Fuck him" is washed away in the back blast of the missile as time resumes its normal flow. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 19: Daddy The rest of the party step out from the overflow armoury. The CCTV monitors show mayhem above; disbelief combined with burning. Not a pretty sight. Baron>"PJ, cover PhilM; he'll be a little disorientated for a while. You two come with me." The three set off downstairs and find a short corridor leading to a door. The Baron picks the lock to reveal an ante room. One door straight ahead - closed and one door to the right - open. The door to the right clearly leads to an "interview" room complete with well stocked drugs cabinet. Kell eyes the cabinet. The Baron eyes Kell. Meanwhile, in Rich's cell ... "Who's ya daddy? Who's ya daddy?" The Baron picks the lock on the second door. Baron>"Right lads. Ready?" Kell and RodP nod their assent. The Baron opens the door and steps through. Meanwhile, in Rich's cell ... "I'm ya daddy. I'm ya daddy." The Baron, Kell and RodP face two guards at very short distance. Baron>{Damn. Looks like this is going to get messy. Ah well, the price of leadership ... sending comrades into battle ... but how come I'm in front?} "Fire!". Meanwhile, in Rich's cell ... SLAP! "I'm ya daddy." The haze and gunsmoke settle and five figures remain standing. Kell's submachine gun clatters to the floor. RodP's shotgun clatters to the floor. Kell's laser rifle is swung into place. RodP's carbine is swung into place. Baron>"Let's try that again. Fire!" Meanwhile, in Rich's cell ... "Shhhhh. What was that?" SLAP! "Say it bitch ... I'm ya daddy." Five figures remain standing. Baron>"And again. And this time with your eyes open. Fire!" Meanwhile, in Rich's cell ... "Look I've really got to go" SLAP! "And will you stop hitting me !!" Five figures remain standing. RodP's carbine clatters to the floor. A wisp of smoke rises from the abdomen of Guard #1. RodP grabs a hand of mini grenades. Baron>"OK. Better luck this time. Fire!" Meanwhile, in Rich's cell ... "OK ...but you bring it right back here afterwards big boy." "Yeah, sure, whatever." {Jeez, you get no respect any more and that last one really hurt!} Five figures remain standing. Slowly Guard #1 slumps to his knees and falls forward only to be replaced by Guard #3. Baron>"Just how long is this going to take guys?" {And why does that latest arrival look like he's got something stuck up his arse?} "Fire!" Guard #2 slowly slumps to his knees and falls forward. Guard #3 stands erect. Baron>"I can't take any more of this ... Kell just hit him." Guard #3 falls on his back. Upstairs. PhilM>"How much longer will they be? I think I should go down and help." PJ>"PhilM they've been gone 40 seconds. I don't think they need a rescue team just yet." PhilM>"Can't hear you. I'll send one more missile upstairs and then I'm going to help. I'll see if I can stop those bells." PJ>"For the love of God ... have they not suffered enough? ... there are grown men up there crying ... have you not suffered enough? PHILM LISTEN TO ME THIS ISN'T GOOD ... OH FUCK INCOMING". ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 20: Inventory Baron>"Right let's release the rest of the prisoners and yes ... even Rich." The journey back is uneventful and the party are debriefed; unusual for a suicide mission. The Baron then wanders through the space port to the dropship and enters the cargo bay. Banjo muzak can be heard on a radio. Tech>"Can I help you sir?" Baron>"Yes my good man. I've just been debriefed and I was returning home to my bunk for a well earned rest when I remembered your function on board this ship and decided to deviate from my intended path in order to exchange felicitations and facilitate the upgrade of our mechs to their former status and where possible attain a superior standard of combat worthiness." Tech>"Beg pardon sir?" Baron>"I want to get our mechs repairs under way." Tech>"Oh right you are sir. I thought you were complaining about the banjos sir." Baron>"Heaven forbid. I enjoy all forms of music and am keen to experience all manner of sound created by the wide variety of instruments found in this expanded universe we live and travel in." Tech>"Sorry sir?" Baron>"Ooooh I like a nice tune if I'm forced to." Tech>"Right you are sir ... so I can leave the radio on?" Baron>"Yes. By all means." Tech>"Thank you sir." Baron>"Now we need some equipment." Tech>"Well you've come to the right place sir." Baron>"Right. How about some SRMs - one shot or otherwise?" Tech>"Fraid not sir." Baron>"Oh well not to worry I think we're getting rid of it anyway." Tech>"Right you are sir." Baron>"LRM 10s then?" Tech>"Nope." Baron>" 15s?" Tech>"No." "20s?" "no" LRMs with Artemis?" "no" "Lasers?" "no" "Phasers?" "no" "TASERS?" "no" "PPCs?" "Clan or Federation?" "CLAN" "no" "GAUSS RIFLE?" "no" "AND SHUT THAT BLOODY RADIO OFF." "told you" "Thank you. How about Left Arm Activators?" "no" "Right Arm Activators?" "no" "Left Leg Activators?" "no" "Right Leg Activators?" "no" "There's a certain predictability in this dialogue, Servitors?" "Yes sir." "Yes? Well I'll have some servitors then." "Oh sorry sir. I thought you were talking about me. That's my name ... Servitor." "Is it?" "Yes sir. Been in the family for generations." "Has it? Scanners?" "no" "Sensor Arrays? He asks waiting for the inevitable response." "no - we've got ... " "No don't tell me I'm keen to guess." "Right you are sir." "Beagle Probe?" "Not on a Wednesday." "Anti Detection Equipment?" "no" "Anti Detection Detection Equipment?" "no" "Not much of a store is it?" "Best on the space port." "Is it? And would you care to explain how you come to that conclusion?" "It's so clean sir." "Well it's certainly uncontaminated with useful mech parts that's for sure. Netting?" "Not as such." "I know Ammunition. I'll have some basic ammunition." "no" "No?" "No. Not much call for it round here sir." "Not much call for it? It's the single most popular item with this party!!" "Not true sir." "Well, pray tell me what is the most popular item with this party?" "External Armour plating sir. Can't get enough of the stuff." "OK. I'll have some external armour plating then please." "Sorry - we've run out sir. Expecting a delivery any day now." "Internal Armour Plating?" "no" "Ferro Fibrous Material?" "yes" "Yes?" "yes" "Well in that case I'll have some ferro fibrous material. Hand it over with all due haste." "It's a little rusty." "Not to worry we can plate it." "It's a little more rusty than you'd like." "Listen - I don't care how fucking rusty it is hand it over." "Oh" "What now he asks resigned to the response." "It's crumbled away." "Has it. Heat Sinks?" "no" "Double Heat Sinks?" "no" "Jump Jets?" "no" "Have you or have you not any mech parts we can use?" "Yes sir." "Really?" "No sir. I lied. I've been wasting your time." "Tell me. What is the current value of the stores we hold?" "Two point eight million sir." "And of that how much can we use on our mechs?" "None of it." "Not much of a stock system is it." "But I've accumulated a lot of valuable stock sir." "Yes - because we can't use it." "Well, there you are sir." "Servitor. Is the best place to sell stock here or at Outreach?" "Outreach sir." "Outreach it is then. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 21: Surreal Mr. Kobaiyashi closed his eyes. He could hear the secretaries go about their business. He could feel the chair against his back. Memories of a time long a go returned. He was six; sitting in the corridor outside his father's office waiting for him. He was about to be shipped off world to school. He remembered footsteps approaching. "Ready son?" "Yes father" he said getting off the chair. They walked down the corridor; his hand held by his father. It was a short walk across the tarmac of the spaceport to the waiting shuttle. He remembered the twisting in his stomach as he walked up the steps of the shuttle. He sat by the window and waved to his father and then watched him walk back towards the buildings; his coat flapping in the wind. And then his father was gone and he was alone. The flight to the jump ship was uneventful and he waited until they were given the all clear to leave their seats and walk round. He made his way to the cargo area to see if he could spot the crates containing his possessions. He had no difficulty. The older lads had already placed them in the middle of the cargo bay and were busy rifling their way through the contents. He waited until one of them spotted him and offered no resistance, no sign of fear, just that of resignation. "Don't mind if we have a look do you?" one asked him. "Got no choice anyway has he?" said another. They laughed and then the leader said "You don't seem too bothered do you?" "No, they are only possessions." he replied, "And not all mine." "No, they're ours now." shouted someone and laughed. "Until their owners want them back." "Like I'm scared." joked one of the lads. "You should be, they belong to Tzusan." The laughter and joking stopped. Evidently Tzusan's reputation had reached even this far. "Ready?" The voice brought him out of his reverie. He opened his eyes to see the commander standing in front of him. "I've located a party going to Outreach and managed to secure passage for you on their dropship. Not ideal I know but I think it's the best I can do under the present situation." "I'm sure everything will be fine." Kobaiyashi said and smiled to put the commander at ease. "As long as Kaiser Soze gets his supplies what's a little inconvenience to me?" He asked, starting to walk down the corridor with the commander. Kobaiyashi got off the dropship at Outreach and turned to nod once at the Backdoor Boys. They'd made the right decision. He knew they would. He might even be able to make use of their services sometime in the future. To Be Continued ..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~