RESCUING KITTENS FROM TREES AND DECLARING MARTIAL LAW: A DAY IN LIFE OF FEMA

The X-Files: Fight the Future, which opened in July of 1998, created a new enemy for our dynamic duo to worry about: FEMA, or the Federal Emergency Management Agency. In the movie, FEMA is revealed to be the US cover for the world-controlling Syndicate, parent company to such bad guys as CSM, the Well-Manicured Man (though his evilness can be argued), Alex Krychek, and even to some extent, Mulder-informers Deep Throat, X, and Marita Covarrubias. XF: FTF reveals that FEMA was responsible for the plan to spread the virus-infected bees and corn discovered by Mulder and Scully.

Officially, FEMA, one of the lesser-known government agencies, is charged with responding to situations such as floods, earthquakes, and other such natural disasters and providing relief to the victims. However, during the series of natural disasters that struck the US in mid 1980's, the agency proved itself to be totally ineffective and slow, getting tied up in red tape and formalities instead of actually helping anyone. In case of an emergency such as nuclear attack or alien invasion, however, FEMA would be ready to go. In an article published in 1984, syndicated columnist Jack Anderson reported that FEMA would "suspend the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, effectively eliminate private property, abolish free enterprise, and generally clamp Americans in a totalitarian vise." The Cold War provided a perfect excuse for the development of such a plan, called by FEMA "national security planning" or "standby legislation", and official titled the Defense Resources Act. The plans would be left alone until a time of crisis, when they would be found and presented to Congress. Another plan of FEMA was COG, or "continuity of government". Under the guise of preserving the federal government, this involved the strengthening of the military to totally unnecessary levels. The crown jewel of FEMA, however, is the Facility. Built in the 1950's, it is a top-secret underground hideout located forty-five miles west of Washington, DC in Bluemont, Virginia that can serve as another White House in case of a nuclear emergency.

Whether or not FEMA is unleashing killer bees into the public, they certainly are not only dealing with the emergencies of nature. They are not the innocent agency the government claims it is. It is, in fact, a force to be quite wary of. So just remember, if FEMA comes to your town, it probably isn't to rescue Little Timmy from the well. It's probably to put him there.