First, apologies to any Americans: I think the only one of the list of these celebrity chefs that you will know is Ainsley Harriot. Still, that's what we call culture here in England.

I can't quite work out what sort of poem this is meant to be, but I am of the considered opinion that it kicks ass. I could have spent more time on it, yes, and I could also have included a verse about Jamie Oliver. More importantly, I could have done a little research and tried to find out if the name 'Anthony Warrell-Thompkinson' is correct. Really, I wanted to, but that would involve watching cookery shows, and I'm only willing to go so far for the sake of my art.

Damn, this poem rocks!