What if Delia Smith went mad?
Suddenly decided that
If you can't be bothered
To learn to cook properly,
You're a lame-ass student and
You must surely die?
What if Delia Smith went mad?
What if Anthony Warrell-Thompkinson went mad?
Suddenly decided that
His voice was just too bollocks
For him ever to be loved
By any human being or animal
And shot himself in the head?
What if Anthony Warrell-Thompkinson went mad?
And what if Ainsley Harriot went mad?
Suddenly decided that
The world was his oyster,
And ran round as if
He owned the place,
Just arse-banging all the men in sight?
What if Ainsley Harriot went mad?
One down, two to go...
