Social Pariah

Is my illness-my pain
the inside coming out
To show the world how I'm going insane
pulled apart and torn, thrown about
over things I don't want but somehow desire
to lose my identity and to be noticed by conforming
losing the identity I have-reforming
Changing my mind set, my words, my attire
into the person I once was and still am
But who is not really the same at all
I'm less, but more-still an individual-yet less glam
follows me for no one remembers me-alone I stand in the hall
And walk alone though surrounded
This social displacement and isolation
has left me confounded
The rest, I know feel worse and alone cry out in desperation
For a better life, a different choice
Maybe even to be like me
though I doubt it-they want to be noticed, and no one hears my voice
I guess fun, life and identity
can't be found together, they don't belong
I'll stay alone, it seems it's already been an eternity
but, is being yourself really so...
Wrong?

To all the people who prefer an inanimate bottle of alcohol and a night of forgetting to all of their living, breathing friends with feelings and the memories that are a part of them.

1