"I am going home." Catalina stared at him defiantly.
X raised an eyebrow, saying only, "We'll see."
With a wave of his hand, both he and his world of misty white
transformed into... something else.
She looked around, her brows knitted in confusion. It was
Titan, that she could tell at a glance. Saturn loomed on the horizon,
the morning sky a familiar shade of vibrant blue-green. She was
standing on what appeared to be a launch-pad, of a type that was
common enough on her home planet. But none of this was what
puzzled her. What was really bizarre was the fact that everything was,
well, big. Bigger than usual, anyway. The flight attendants, the
luggage crates, the trees at the edge of the pad, her parents...
Her parents! No! she thought. Oh, grozit no! Anything but
this! The knowledge of what was to occur came rushing at her with abrupt
certainty.
She clutched her sister's hand tightly in her own slightly
sticky one, as her mother kissed her forehead and told her to be good.
Her heart ached as she watched her smooth Thetla's hair back, then
pick up little Vienied and swing him around. Cat's father said goodbye
at the same time.
They turned to go and she mentally screamed at them with all
her might. Don't go! Don't leave me! But, try as she might, she
couldn't make the words come. She couldn't change the past.
They walked slowly up the ramp, and she longed to do
something, anything. Finally, she pulled her hand from her brothers
and ran ahead a few meters. "I love you!" was all she managed, but
the words had little effect. Her father turned and blew her a kiss, and
then they were on the ship, and its engines were powering up for liftoff.
The small shuttle flew smoothly into the air, soaring up into the
atmosphere until it was almost too small to be seen.
Cat squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her small fists,
trying to block what was to come, but it was for naught. She saw it as
clearly as the first time it had happened.
The shuttle blew up. It blossomed into flames, the pieces
spiraling towards the ground on the horizon.
The world whirled before her eyes, spinning round and round
and round in a dizzying, deranged, demented orbit, and Cat wanted to
cry and scream and throw up all at the same time, and she did, except
she didn't. She tossed her head back and laughed.
And suddenly she was on a space ship, and it was going to
blow up and she was going to die and she didn't want to die; she was
too young and free and stubborn to die, she had so many things left to
say and to do and to feel.
I'll die just like they died, it suddenly struck her. Blown
into a million teeny tiny pieces. It was almost funny, in a way.
But she didn't laugh this time, because she suddenly found herself
occupied. She was screaming someone's name, although she couldn't quite
recall what it was or why she was screaming it. Then the owner of the name
was gone, had left her on her own with the evil one until he vanished as
well, and she was left all alone to die.
Tears welled up in her eyes, her breathing grew ragged and
her throat closed as she sank to the floor. "I don't want to die, Suzee,"
she whispered to her best friend, who wasn't her best friend at all,
except when she was.
"Goodbye Harlan," she whispered. Harlan. Was that his name?
Did she hate him? No wait, she loved him! She couldn't quite remember
which one it was.
She supposed it didn't matter, since the corridor in front of her
was filled with fire, and in a few moments nothing would matter at all.
With resignation, she rested her head upon the ground and closed her
eyes. "Whatever happened between us, I'm going to miss you. I love
you." She couldn't be certain which one she spoke to. Perhaps it was
Suzee, or Harlan, or both of them, or neither of them, or life itself, but
the end result was the same. She opened her eyes and smiled. "It's
been fun."
Then she was spiraling down and down into a bright purple
light, except that it was no longer purple. It was pure white radiance,
and as she fell she heard a voice that seemed to come from far away;
hardly recognizable it as X's.
"Congratulations."
She shook her head, as if waking from a nightmare. "What?"
she asked fuzzily.
"You've passed."
With a jolt, she stopped falling and her vision cleared. Her
mind still spinning, she looked around in confusion. She was on the
Christa. She was on the Christa! The ComPost door slid open
in front of her and she stood outside it, momentarily stunned.
I'm alive, she comprehended slowly. I'm alive, and I'm on
the Christa! And, she realized, looking down at her attire, dressed
in the very expensive gown she'd seen on a Televid last week. At least
X had fashion sense. Suddenly giddy, she rushed inside, smiling the
stunned faces that greeted her.
"You have five minutes," X's voice echoed in her mind.
"What!?! No! You promised!"
"You said(and I quote), 'I wish that I could go back to the
Christa, even for five minutes.' Well here's your five minutes. Don't
look at me like that, it's perfectly fair."
She opened her mouth to protest, but got not further than that.
Harlan rushed to her and swept her up in a tight hug. "Cat! I
can't believe it!"
When she could breathe again, she broke the embrace
reluctantly. She grinned with excitement and said, "Believe it."
That was all they were able to say before Rosie launched
herself at Cat. "We were so worried about you! We--we thought you
were dead! I mean, the ship blew up and then we were all so sad, and
then Suzee showed up and said you were all right, but we couldn't get
you back, and then--." She broke off her babbling. "We missed you so
much!"
"It's all right. I'm all right." She turned to face them all.
"But I can't stay long. It's hard to explain, but I'm going to disappear
again soon. I only have a few minutes."
"However long you're here for, it's good to see you," Radu
smiled.
"Radu," she began, "At the academy and before I left, I said a
lot of things to you--"
"It's in the past," he interrupted. "Everything. Forgiven." He
squeezed her hand quickly.
"Commander Goddard? There's something I need to say to
you, too. If, by some miracle, I ever become a Stardog, I...I want to be
like you."
"Very good, Cadet," he said somberly, then dropping all
pretense,
he grinned broadly, put a hand to her shoulder and said, "I'm very proud of
you, Catalina."
You'll never know how much I needed to hear that, she smiled
to herself.
"Miss Davenport," she began a moment later. "Thank you for
taking care of me, and for yelling at me, and teaching me all those
things I didn't want to know at the time."
"That's quite all right dear, I...I..." She broke off with a large
sob. "I do believe that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me! Oh,
dear. Oh my dear..." She broke off, unable to speak.
"And Thelma," Cat continued, "You take care of yourself,
all right? Don't let yourself get disassembled, or blown up, or torn apart
before I get back."
"I'll do my best!" she promised flippantly, tossing of a jerky
salute.
"Rosie, don't let Bova get too depressed. And Bova, don't go
letting the others get cocky. I know you're up to it."
"No problem."
Finally, there were only two left. "Suzee, I--." She broke off
suddenly. A dozen things to say flashed through her mind in an instant.
You witch!
You'll always be my best friend.
The two of you make a lovely couple.
I missed you.
I hate you.
"Take care of them, Suzee." She hugged her quickly and then
backed away.
Now, for the final goodbye.
Harlan and Catalina stood staring at each other for a few
moments. Then Cat found the courage to do something she would
never in a million years would have, had she not been about to
disappear. She stepped up to him, pulled his face close to hers and
kissed him solidly on the mouth.
Leaving him with a stupid grin on his face, she stepped back,
smiled softly and vanished.
X stood in his world of mist, still in humanoid form. He peered
at the scene on the Christa so intently, he didn't hear the small figure
sneaking up behind him.
"Still meddling in the affairs of mortals, I see," spoke a shrill
voice that made him jump several inches into the air.
X spun to face the newcomer, the alarm draining from
his face when he realized who it was, quickly replaced by irritation. "Oh, it's only you. What are
you doing here?"
The shrill voice belonged to an old humanoid with a long white
beard. He wore mouse-colored robes and a shapeless hat, with an
enigmatic smile on his ancient face. "The better question is, what are
you doing here? And while were at it, where's my hat?" he asked shrewdly.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I have every right to be
here, there's no law against it. And your hat is on top of your head!" he
snapped.
"One would think you'd've learned your lesson about testing
mortals by now. And you can't fool me, you've taken my hat and I want
it back!"
"That girl is never going to live up to her destiny if she can't
even live up to her fears. It was for her own good."
"If you didn't kill the child in the process."
"She knew the risks."
"But you didn't even send her home, you doorknob! How's she
going to fulfill her destiny in that dyslexic dimension? And why anyone
would pay thirty-five dollars just to see a grown man dress up like a
rodent is beyond me!"
X was developing a headache, not an uncommon side effect
when dealing with this particular entity. Pausing several seconds to
catch the lost thread of conversation, he began, "She'll find her own
way back soon enough. But she'll never do it if she has to deal with all
of those unresolved feelings roving around in her little skull. Besides,
she ought to know the truth about that boyfriend of hers. She'd be
better off without him, if you ask me."
"Do I detect a hint of jealously in your voice, my friend? Or
perhaps that's just gas..." He wrinkled his face in confusion. "Ah well,
I'd best be on my way, at any rate. Places to go, people to harass, you
know the routine. Besides, I still need to find my hat!" He pushed up
his battered gray sleeves. "Now then, you don't happen to have any
bat guano, do you?"
X just looked at him.
"Well then," the old man sighed, "I guess I'll have to wing it!"
He muttered a few words and vanished in a puff of smoke.
The entity known only as X took a deep breath, and released it
slowly. Then, somewhat calmer, he resumed his position at the
viewing portal, staring intently at Catalina. "Finally, alone at last..."
Back in Yensid, Catalina stood at her window, staring again at
the eternally cloudy sky. Searching for answers, she found herself
feeling, of all things, rather contented. She was still furious at X, of
course; he'd pulled a dirty trick, and she had already resolved to make him
pay for it one day. Her anger at Harlan and Suzee had not diminished,
but it was tempered with love. Cat knew that the day would come to deal
with that, as well. In the meantime, it looked as if she'd have lots of
time to mull over the details.
She smiled ruefully. Oddly, it didn't bother her as much as it
might once have. Grozit, she'd faced down a dragon! She could probably
handle a little love triangle.
For now, she contented herself with the warmth of friendship
she'd felt on her ship, the satisfaction of facing her fears, and most of
all, the stunned look on Harlan's face when she'd kissed him.
She looked at her clock again. Curiously (yet unsurprisingly),
she'd discovered upon returning that exactly five minutes had passed
since she'd left with X. There were still a few hours left until dawn.
Time enough for a nap. After all of that, she could use a little
rest. Without another thought, she crawled into Suzee's bed and fell
into a deep, dreamless sleep.
