[The turbolift was surprisingly empty for the time of day. Shift change was an hour away and one could count on Voyager's corridors to be bustling with people getting to their destinations. Emerging from the turbolift, Tom and Harry glared at the extremely long hallway, then at each other.]

"What'd the Captain want us for again?"

"She didn't say, but it must be important."

[blond pilot grumbles] "Easy for her to say, she isn't toting three lead balls 24/7."

[spouse chokes off laughter] "I do hope you're talking about your kids, not some anatomical defect you've been keeping secret from me."

"What?" [pilot cuffs dark-haired lover gently on the arm when the meaning penetrates] "You like my balls, I'll have you know."

"Yea...yeoooouch!" [spouse stumbles, then crumples to the floor]

"Harry!" [presses urgently on commbadge] "Emergency beam out. Goddamit, somebody answer me. Doc, help!"

[familiar tingling encompasses the awkwardly placed pilot who is trying to support his spouse while ignoring the tearing pain in his own gut]

"Doc, something's wrong with Harry." [pilot paces agitatedly beside the bio-bed while the doctor runs a tricorder over still man]

[pilot chafes his spouse's hands] "Did you check his hormone levels?"

"Yes, Mr. Paris."

"Did you check the placental adhe...?"

"Yes, Mr. Paris." [EMH holds up a warding off hand] "I plan to check EVERYTHING. I am very thorough, as you know."

[spouse subsides while rubbing side absently, attention focused on reading the doctor's tricorder across the biobed]

[doctor sidesteps the pilot to get to Harry Kim, but stops when Tom slumps over his spouse groaning]

"Captain, cancel the the baby shower. We have a crisis in sick-bay. Mr. Paris is in labour." [EMH pauses for a moment before adding...] "Also, Mr. Kim has toxemia."

The End

Continued in Parenting 400