I've been working at Subway since August of 2001 and let me tell you, that place sucks ass. I guess it's better than McDOnalds, but geez, the morons I work with....ack. We usually get about 5 aplications a week, yet my manager always finds the least intelligent people to hire. Like one time, this guy I was working with was spraying the tables with Water labled H2O. First of all, we don't clean with water, we have sanitizer spray bottles. Second, in front of a line of people, he asks me why they call water H2O. Now before I got the chance to shoot myself in the head, a Chemist which just happened to be standing in line answered his question. "Water consists of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom" And then he went on and on about chemistry crap...as if an uneducated subway employee knows what an atom is.

Story#2
I guess my manager gave up hiring strangers, so she hired her family members to work there. First, she hired her sister to be assistant manager. Then she hired her own daughter which was the most worthless blob of oxygen consumption I've ever seen. Then my manager went to rehab...haha, seriousely, she did. Soooo our assistant manager hired her own daughter, Molly. And then somehow she hired her niece. so we had like 5 people working there that were related. Now the thing about Subway is that we only have about 8 employees at a time...not 30 like other places. Later on in the world my manager came back and other quit so now no one's related. EXCEPT!!! Theres this other lady that works here one day a week. My manager must have thought it was a good idea to hire her 14 year old son to work one day a week too. well it wasn't. He is an idiot. Plus the fact that it is ILLEGAL in Michigan for a 14 year old to work in any other field besides farming (detassling corn) and golf caddy.

Story #3
Ok, I told you already about Molly...well Molly got pregnant and became a pregnant bitch. And guess who got stuck working with Molly....ME. Molly also likes to smoke. And I hate people who smoke. So shes been pregnant about 7 months and she smokes constantly. I mean a half a cigarette every 15 minutes. It pisses me off cuz she goes on breaks so much just to fill her lungs with the poisonous gas and kill her BABY. I am left to do all the work. Amazing how a senior in high school is a better employee than every high school drop out who works there.

Story#4

Subway=suicide and drugs
I'll start with suicide. Ever wonder how we get our bread to look like it does..I mean with those 4 bump things in it. You probably don't know what I'm talkign about but anyway, before we rise the bread it comes in these long sticks. We thaw them out to a doughy consistancy and then use a BREAD SCORER to make 4 cuts 1/8 ince deep diagonally in the bread. This bread scoring tool is useful for slitting wrists of all kinds. What it is is a chunk of plastic with a razor blade that sticks out of the plastic a little bit. that is to ensure that only your veins will be cut and nothing else. Perfect. We also have knives if you prefer that variety of suicide.

Now for drugs. drugsdrugsdrugs. We sprinkle OREGANO/WEED on the sandwich when asked. Also, we have Parmesan cheese/COCAINE for that extra zing. So if you order parmesan oregano bread then you are in luck. Our sub club stamps contain the finest grade of LSD for you psychadelics out there. We also have very accurate digital scales for the person who wants a precise amount of drugs.

Story #5
Another act of stupidity. A couple days ago like 1/1/03 a lady came in and wanted a party sub. If you havent seen them...well they are huge. 3-6 feet long and 4" wide. Holy Shit. So I tell her what they are and how we make them (by thawing the bread and braiding it together, then proofing and cooking it) and then take her order on a party sub order form. I ask her when she wants it. She says 1:00pm. I laugh. It's currently 11:00am. Theres no way in hell we could make one in that short of time. In fact we need at least a days notice. So being the nice person I am I tell her I can make a party platter (a bunch of reular subs cut into 4" portions on a platter) and tell her I'll have it ready by 2PM. She agrees and pays and the end. or so I thought. The next morning I don't have to work. My phone rings at 11:30AM. Caller ID says SUBWAY. I don't answer. theres no way in hell I'm getting called in to work. I ignore the ringing and forget it ever happened. 2:30PM. The phone rings. It's subway again. this time I answer.
Manager: Where were you this morning?
Me: Where was I suppose to be?
Manager: I found an order you took for a party sub on the bullitin board this morning. It didn't have a pick up date so I figured I'd better make it in cast the people really ordered it and wanted to pick it up
Me: (thinking oh shit)
I told her the story of yesterday and all that stuff. Then I said that I DIDN'T pu tit on the bullitin baord. I must have forgot to throw it away. I told her she'll have a lot of party sub to eat then. Free food.
Rule #1 in life...never assume....NEVER. It never works out.