Skylander

by KG

"Uhm, what's my motivation," Adrian asked a little sheepishly. The director simply stared at him, so he continued, "Who am I supposed to be, again?"

"You're a young Anakin Skywalker!"

"Oh. Ok, I'm definitely ready this time."

"Action."

"I'm Anakin Skywalker of the Clan Skywalker."

"Cut!"

The director conferred with his assistants. Today was the day they were filming the big fight sequence between Anakin Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi. It was a complex scene, full of stunts and special effects. The crew had been working for weeks to insure it would be flawless.

"Ok, everyone, we're ready, take your places," the director commanded.

The director watched as his two stars, Adrian Paul and Peter Wingfield, took their positions.

"Ok, lets do it just like in rehearsal."

"Do you ever get the feeling that we've done this before," Adrian mumbled under his breath to Peter.

"What do you mean," Peter asked.

"Well...I seem to be having a little trouble distinguishing my character in this movie from the one in that show I used to star in," Adrian confided. "We better make this look good," Adrian added.

"Don't worry dar-ling, I'm an ac-TOR," said Peter.

Before Adrian could express any more of his misgivings, the director rudely interrupted.

"Action!"

The director watched in awe as the two men performed the intricate dance of the light sabre fight with perfection. The tension which had gripped his neck and shoulders for the past few days began to lessen, and the burning sensation in his stomach began to fade. Maybe George and Steven hadn't made such a lousy choice when they cast these two, he thought to himself. The director's attention returned to his actors as they began the final pivotal sequence.

Adrian swung his light sabre, and held it as if the laser light (to be added later by the special effects team) was located at Peter's neck. The director exchanged several confused glances with the stunt coordinator.

"What are you waiting for Skywalker," Peter asked.

"Huh? Was that in the script," the director whispered to his assistant.

"No!" Adrian shouted while bringing his light sabre down in a swift arc. Peter dropped his weapon as if disarmed by the blow.

The director continued to furiously flip through pages of the script, trying to figure out what was going on.

Peter clasped Adrian's light sabre in his hands, raised it to his neck and said, "Live Skylander, grow stronger, may the force be with you."

"Cut!"

The director took a swig from the hip flask he had taken to carrying recently. He had a bad feeling about today's filming. In this scene Obi Wan was supposed to be helping Anakin paint his pregnant ex-girlfriend's house.

"Action!"

"Look at me Skywalker," Peter began, "I didn't become a Jedi Knight by worrying about anyone but myself."

"Could've fooled me," Adrian responded.

"Has it finally happened? Have those two finally got their lines right," the director whispered to his assistant with a sense of amazement.

Just then Adrian reached out and playfully swiped Peter's nose with his paint brush. A hint of a smirk appeared on Peter's lips as he narrowed his eyes and stared soulfully at Adrian.

The director was horrified. There goes our PG-13 rating, he thought to himself.

"Cut!"

The director was smoking the last cigarette from his second pack of the morning and conferring with the writer on some last minute script changes.

"Ok, in this new scene Skywalker has gone over to the dark side of the force and Obi Wan has come to save him," the writer explained.

"How is he going to do that," the director asked.

"Well, here's the really good part," said the writer while grinning with enthusiasm for her latest idea. "He's going to take him to this holy spring, where Skywalker's dark side will fight with his good side."

"A holy spring...," said the director, sounding a little uncertain about this idea.

"Yeah, the holy spring has mystical powers which can reverse the effects of the dark quickening."

"Did you just say dark quickening," demanded the director.

"No, of course not, I said the dark side of the force," said the writer indignantly.

"No, I'm sure you said dark quickening," the director insisted.

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Cut!"

"Cut?"

"Nevermind, you're fired!"

The director popped a few valium into his mouth, took a drag off his cigarette and washed it all down with a shot of tequila. There was only one more scene to film before this loathsome movie would be finished.

Fortunately (since he had fired the writer) the scene didn't include too much dialogue. But the director really didn't give a damn anymore. He had talked to Steven and George on the phone this morning and they had decided to dubb all of Adrian and Peter's lines anyway.

The hundreds of extras required for the final scene had taken their places. Explosions and various other special effects were wired to go off at precisely the right moment. Adrian and Peter arrived on the set. After a bit of last minute make up, everything was ready. They only had one chance to get this right.

The director wondered if a few words of encouragement for his actors might help.

"Get this scene right, or you'll never work in this town again -- Action!"

The extras sprung into riotous activity in the background. Explosions rocked the scenery. Adrian and Peter battled back and forth across the set. It was magnificent.

Peter was driven to his knees by the force of Adrian's attack. Adrian raised his light sabre overhead. The entire crew held its breath and waited for Adrian's final line.

Adrian clenched his teeth. The sense of deja vu was almost overwhelming. He repeated his mantra silently to himself...I will not say there can be only one, I will not say there can be only one.

Peter noticed his friend's hesitation and decided to whisper a few inspiring words. "Let's finish this scene so we can go out and..."

"Have a beer," Peter said with a wicked grin.

Adrian completely forgot the cameras, the director, the impending death of his career. He fixed an annoyed look on his face and said to Peter...

"Not funny Methos."

The director collapsed on the ground and made several choking noises that might have sounded like the word "cut."

Peter and Adrian did the only thing they could do -- they headed for the nearest bar. Just before they left the set, Adrian and Peter both turned and grinning said in unison, "Have a nice day!"

I'm getting too old for this, the assistant director thought to himself as he shouted...

"CUT!"

Epilogue

Peter Wingfield wandered into the sound studio. He had one last obligation to fulfill before he would be done with this movie. Unfortunately his first starring role in a big budget film had not gone exactly as he'd hoped. At least it paid better than tv. Maybe now he could afford that gray Volvo he'd had his eye on.

"Mr. Wingfield, are you ready to do the voice over for the title sequence of the movie," the sound engineer asked.

Peter cleared his throat, sat down in the lotus position and did a little chanting. "Ready," he finally said.

"3-2-1..."

Peter Wingfield took and deep breath and said...

"Born long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, he is...the Skylander."

"CUT!!!"

Acknowledgements: This story was inspired by Bonnie and the many posters on alt.tv.highlander. And a million thanks to my beta readers -- Bonnie, Tammy and Franki.