Spike was once again kicking everything that got into his way. He had been this pissed off ever since he got back in Sunnydale. First, he chased Drusilla all over the world, then he found her in some dead-end town in Sweden. He tried to win her back, get her to come back to Sunnydale with him, but she wouldn't listen. The only thing she wanted, was to stay with this new vampire, Sven, that she had recently sired. Spike got tired of chasing after a ho, so he went back to Sunnydale on his own.
Life on the Hellmouth had really changed since Spike had left for the second time. Both Cordelia and Angelus were gone, Faith was dead, Buffy and the Scoobies were planning their way off to college, and Giles had gotten fired from the school.
Buffy was at the Bronze with her new rebound guy, Robert. He was nice, alive, funny, cute, alive, normal and alive. For Buffy, the fact that he was alive was really important. She really wanted to get over Angel, the bastard that left her for Cordelia and then moved to LA.<< Cordelia. She was the one who always picked on me for dating a vampire. Bitch. I hope she... she... I hope she gets fat. Look at me. I'm pathetic. I'm jumping from one rebound guy to another. I really hope that Robert's the right rebound guy for me. >>.

"So, I'm like," Robert said. " 'You want me to go to a shrink just because I kinda had a fight with the neighbor ? No way !' "
"I thought you beat him to a bloody pulp?" Buffy asked, " 'Cuz that's a little more serious than just fighting with him."
"Well, okay, I did throw his face against a brick wall a few times, but that doesn't mean I'm some kind of serial killer ! Don't you think ?"
"Totally with you. You know what ? I'm kinda tired, could you drive me home ?"
"Sure. No problem. You wanna go out tomorrow night ?"
"Yeah, why not ? Oh, wait, no. I've gotta study for a test. Maybe the day after that."
"Okay. Let's go."
Buffy just sat in the car without saying a word. She wasn't tired-tired, she was tired of listening to that wannabe serial killer that was supposed to be her rebound guy.
"Hey !" Robert yelled, "You're home."
"Sorry, I was thinking. Thanks for the ride. Good-night."
"Wait ! Aren't you forgetting something ?"
"No. What is it ?"
"Don't you want to... You know."
"No I don't know. What are you talking about ?"
"You know what I mean. Get some horizontal polka going out."
"My God ! And may I add : Ewwww !"
Buffy slammed the car door shut and ran to her door. Her Mom was out of town, so she could make as much noise as she wanted. She went to the stereo and put her Alanis Morrisette CD on. Then she went to the kitchen and got some ice cream. Then she danced her way to the couch in the living room. She sat down and ate her ice cream, still listening to the screaming stereo and singing along.

"I want you to know
That I'm happy for you
I wish nothing for you
But the best for you both
An older version
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And will she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother"-- You Oughta Know by Alanis Morisette

<< God I wish I could kick someone right now. Yeah, I'm mad, but why shouldn't I be ? My boyfriend dumped me for one of my friends, every guy I've been out since turned out to be either a serial killer, or zombie, or just a jerk. And I still haven't gotten an answer for my college applications. I wish I could get into any college, just like Willow. And I wish I could meet some nice guy. A living one, preferably. I also wish I could tell him I'm the Slayer, it'd be so much easier then. >>
After finishing her ice cream, Buffy got up, change to some sporty outfit and decided to get out to kick some un-dead ass. Unfortunately, just like anything she did the last few days, it didn't go that well. She had been out for nearly three hours and still hadn't beaten up anybody. So she decided to go to the park, and have a little fun on the swing before going home.

Spike had been looking for someone to beat up all night. Sure, he had found some wussy high-school kids, but they weren't really fun. He wanted someone that could return his puchs and kicks, but still be unable to win him over. That's when he spoted the perfect candidate. Sure, he was a high-school boy, but he was still strong enough to have a decent fight with Spike. Spike's newest budy was Robert. He was in some alley beating up someone when Spike saw him. He let go of his living punching ball when he saw Spike walking towards him.

"What do you want ?" Robert asked seeing someone walking towards him.
"Just a little fun, mate." Spike answered, "Just want to have a little fun."
"If you're one of those pervs, I warn you, back off."
"What ? You think you can take me ?"
"I could kill you with my thumb, dude."
"I really doubt it, 'dude'."
"You willing to check out ?"
"You bet I am."
Spike began with throwing his foot in his victim's stomach. Robert was really suprised by Spike's fighting skills, but then, he didn't know he was fighting a vampire. When Spike was finished kicking Robert's ass, he just left him in the alley and went looking for a meal.

Buffy was still on the swings, thinking about Angel, college, and every other thing that made her life suck. That's when she saw him. He was walking arond, obviously looking for something. She decided to suprise him, so she went and hid behind a tree. Then she waited 'till he was up to the tree and then jumped out of her hiding-place.

"Aaaaaaaaaah!" Spike screamed, "My God !"
"How ya doin', Spike ?" Buffy asked when she finally managed to stop laughing." I hope I didn't scare the crap out of you. No wait. I hope I did !"
"Slayer ! If I had a beating heart I would've had a bloody heart attack !"
"Sorry, I saw you walking and I couldn't help myself."
"Yeah, well, don't try anything like that ever again ! I'll bloody kill you if you do."
"Whoa ! Can you say 'bitter' ?"
"Get off my back !"
"What the Hell happened that made you even more bitter than an old maid ?"
"Gee, maybe it's the fact that I chased a girl all around the world but she still rather stay with some bloody minion called Sven !"
"Oh. So, you and Drusilla ... ?"
"Ain't gonna happen."
"Sorry to hear it. Well, actually no, I'm kinda glad to hear it."
"Hey, I know you hate me, but you don't have to be glad my life's ruined."
"I'm not happy about that, I'm just happy someone's even more miserable than I am."
"What ? Had a fight with Soul Boy ?"
"No, not even. He dumped me and then flew away to LA with one of my friends."
"At least he's not with someone called Sven."
"Oh, wait, I wasn't finished. So, he dumped me, so what ? I'll just find some nice rebound guy and live happilly ever after. Yeah right ! Like that's ever gonna happen on the Hellmouth ! Each and every guy I dated was either a serial killer, or a power-nazi or simply a jerk. And tonight's date was just... The guy beat his neighbor to a bloody pulp 'cuz he was bored !"
"Now that sounds like a fun guy ! How did you get rid of him ?"
"Told him I was tired. He's probably gonna start to harass me when he finds out I don't wanna go out with him anymore."
"At least you'll have something to do. Me, I have to look around for someone to beat the crap out of, while you can just go and break loose on one of your serial killers."
"You really think that ? If I get into one more fight, I'll never get my ass into any college !"
"You're going to college ?"
"Yeah, why ?"
"I dunno, but isn't it gonna interfere with your Slaying ?"
"That's what I thought in the beginning, but I can deal."
" 'Kay. Hey, I still have to find someone to beat up so... Um, by the way, what are you doing here ?"
"Oh, I was just looking for some vamp to beat up. Hey, it seems like we both have some anger we want to get rid off by hurting people."
"What are you ? A shrink ?"
"No, I'm just aware. Wanna come back to my place ? I have a punching ball and some other stuff to beat up in the basement."
"Then why do you have to beat a vamp ?"
"Oh, well, um, I don't know. Maybe I wanted to get hit back. So, you wanna ?"
"Get hit back ?"
"No, come to my place. I've got ice cream ! And music !"
"Okay then. Let's go. What kind of music do you have ?"
"Really various, actually. I'm got things like The Cranberries, Alanis Morissette and Madonna, but I've also got things like The Prodigy, Offspring, Garbage..."
"Garbage ?"
"I love it. I've also got Smashing Pumpkins, Sarah McLachlan and much, much more."
"Oh, you got Sid Vicious ?"
"Sid Vicious ? I wasn't even born when he died. But I do have his version of 'My Way'."
"You do ?! Whoa !"
"What ? You like it ?"
"It's my theme song ! 'I planned each course, each charted step, along the high way, and more, much more than this, I did it myyyy wayyyyyyyyyyyyy !'"
"God, you're a bad singer !"
"What ? You think you can do better ?"
"Just wait till we get to my place and I'll give a whole show !"
Spike and Buffy rushed back to her place. Spike because he wanted to see the Slayer give him a whole show, and Buffy because she wanted someone to see her sing. She was kind of glad about the night's turn out. << I can't believe I'm gonna sing for Spike ! It's gonna be so fun ! >>

Finally, after mocking each other on the way, Spike and Buffy got home.

"Stay right here," Buffy said to Spike, "I'm just gonna put on a different outfit."
"You've even got a special outfit ? This *has* to be the weirdest night of my life !"
Spike sat down on the couch for a while, and remembered the night he helped Buffy out. << She was so brave, so courageous. She gave up the love of her life to save the world. She even agreed to work with *me* to save the world. Sometime, I wish she was the one I ranway with. Not because I like her or anything, just because anyone would've treated me better than Dru. Anyone would've followed me after chasing them all around the world. >>
Then, suddenly, Buffy appeared in an outfit that would've changed any gay man's mind. Then, she put on the stereo and started to sing.

I want you to know
That I'm happy for you
I wish nothing for you
But the best for you both
An older version
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And will she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother
'Cuz the love that you gave that we made
Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you're still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you ranway
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave me
You, you, you oughta know
You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face
How quickly I was replaced
And are you thinking of me when you fuck her"--You Oughta Know by Alanis Morisette.

"Why, Slayer." Spike began, "You've got some hidden talents."
"You liked it ? Was it good ?"
"Good ? It was great ! And I mean it !"
"How'd you like the outfit ?"
"Um, how do I say this ? It'd change any gay man's mind."
"Really ? Cool !"
"Um, can we, um... Could you please take it off ? I can't... um, concentrate."
"You kidding ?"
"..."
"You're not kidding ! I can't believe this !"
That's when Buffy got an idea. She really wanted to toy with Spike's mind, so she started to walk towards him, really slowly, looking at him in the eyes. When she got close enough, she put one hand on Spike's arm, and the other one on his chest.
"What if I do this ?" She asked, "Does that make you umcomfortable ?"
"No, not umcomfortable, just a little... I know that you're doing this is toy with me, and it's not gonna work."
Buffy got even closer and lowered her hand to his stomach.
"Are you sure ?"
"Huh ?"
"No, because I've already made you non-verbal, so I'm waiting for the next step."
"Which, um, is... ?"
Buffy looked at him one last time, and kissed him like she had never kissed anyone. In the beginning, it was just to make her plan work, but she actually started to like it, *really* like it. She wouldn't have let go of Spike if she didn't require oxigen.
Spike was the first one to make a comment.

"If there's a 12 step program," He said, "I'd really like to try it."
"Um, no. No 12 step program. Whoa, that was..."
"Powerful."
"Yes ! Powerful. And nice. Wasn't it nice ?"
"Yes, it was nice too. And a bit comfy."
"Yes ! Comfy it was. It was comfy."

Spike and Buffy looked at each other for one second and then they jumped on each other and starting kissing again. This time, it was even more 'powerful' than their first kiss. This time, it was definitively a forplay.