Buffy sat in her room, on her bed. She had her arms wrapped around her legs, in the fetal possition that seemed so comfortable to her.
Tell me you don't love me.
How could she have asked that of him? How dare she expect something from him she wasn't even willing to give herself. It was Spike, all Spike. It was his bloody fault. She could have continued lying to Angel, and just enjoying being around him. Yeah, the entire time she would have been longing to kiss him, but atleast she'd be with him. Near him.
Then Spike showed up. With his arrogant little ways. He had to see right through her charade. How did he manage that anyway? His pathetic, blithering ways, trying to get Dru back. Endangering her friends, her love, and her. Where did he get off?
And why did he look so damn good when he did it?
Her head snapped up and she looked around the room, trying to find someone to blame for that thought, but there was no one but her. She was to blame. A secret passion for Spike? It would make sense. Explain why she'd never killed him, though the chance often came up.
" So I like, Spike?" She said outloud. " And I thought I had it bad loving Angel."
" Yeah, well, life's a bitch isn't it?"
Buffy spun around, and little to her surprise there stood Spike, cigarette in hand, coy look on his face. When their eyes met, he smiled, and took a drag off his cigarette.
" So you got a thing for me, huh Slayer?" He chuckled. " What is it with you and us vampires, huh? Are fangs a turn on?"
" Opposites attract." She said. She was beyond humiliated. He'd heard the whole thing, there was no way she could possibly lie. " Anyway Spike, last I heard you were on your way to kick the crap out of Dru to win her back."
He shrugged.
" Yeah, well, there I was, on my way. Driving right out of good ol' Sunnyhell, singing at the top of my lungs, when I thought hit me. I tell you Slayer, it was like being burned by sun. That's how powerful. . . and downright disturbing this thought was."
Buffy rolled her eyes. She stood and moved away from him.
" Enlighten me Spike, what was this thought?"
Spike stared at her for a moment, then ran a hand through his bleached blonde hair.
" Well, the thought was like this, Slayer. I realized when I left Sunnydale for a woman that didn't really care about me, there was something here I would miss."
She raised and eyebrow.
" You."
" Me?" She said, with very genuine surprise. " Why me?"
" Slayer, Buffy," he surprised himself by using her name, " I enjoy everything about you. Our fighting, when we teamed up. I know it sounds strange."
" Yeah. Really, really strange." She stared at him, oddly flattered. " You came back for me?"
" Well when you say it like that it sounds really bloody awful. But yeah." He stepped closer to her. He could smell her vanilla perfume. Intoxicating.
" I dunno Spike, it's sort of sweet." She tried to stop herself, but she was drifting closer to him. Two bodies in perpetual motion. Only stopping when they meet.
She felt her body touch his, yet her reverie was not broken. Was it possible that she actually wanted this. She knew it was Spike she was touching. She knew that better than anyone. Yet she didn't pull away.
" Spike-"
" Buffy-"
They didn't get a chance to say anything more. It must have been Fate, because his lips lowered to meet her at the same moment her delicate frame bent upwards to meet his. There was an intense hunger in the kiss that unfolded beyond their imaginations. For that moment, everything was forgotten. Spike wasn't a vampire, Buffy wan't a Slayer. There was no master plan about the whole thing. Just two bodies. The perpetual motion halted in a mind altering unity.
It was as though their mouths were making love.
Each of their hands became entwined in the other's hair. The kiss would have lasted longer, but one of the pair still required breath, and Buffy pulled away suddenly, gasping for air.
Spike put a hand on his head.
" God Lord, Slayer, where did you learn that?"
" I have some idea." A quiet voice said from Buffy's doorway.
They both turned in unison to see Angel watching them, a pained look on his face.
" Angel," Buffy whispered, "this isn't-"
" Don't even try to pull that one Buffy." He whispered. " We both know this is exactly what it looked like. Looks like-" he shuddered and refused to continue. " Spike. . ." he growled.
" Eh, don't look at me mate. You can't put all the blame for this on me. Takes two to tango."
Buffy sighed.
" Why are you here, Angel?"
" I could ask the platinum blode blood sucker beside you the same thing."
" But I asked you first."
" I came to get you. Change your mind."
" Change her mind?" Spike asked, but he was ignored.
" Angel, I told you, it's over. Spike was right. We can never just be friends. Understand? I can't be around you, longing to be with you and knowing it can never happen."
" Oh, so Spike is this brilliant second choice? Buffy-"
" Leave Angel!"
" But-"
" Angel," she hissed, "don't make this harder than it has to be."
" It can't get any harder Buffy."
With that he turned and walked out.
Buffy faked strength well enough, until she saw Angel walk across the lawn and out of her life.
Forever.
Then she collapsed onto the bed sobbing, and Spike was left to pick up the peices. He sat down beside her and pulled her against him. He had no idea whether or not she was aware it was him, but the Slayer wrapped her arms around his and buried her head under his chin.
" What have I done?"
" The right thing, love, you did the right thing."
" Spike," she whispered, "how is it that you can love, but don't have a sou-"
He interupted just as she was finishing.
" Let's not talk about that, okay?" He said, stroaking her beautiful blonde hair.
" Thank you for being here."
Spike returned from the kitchen carrying two mugs. One, Buffy's, was dark blue with gold suns, moons and stars all over it. The other, his, was plain black. He'd borrowed it from her mother who had luckily gone out of town, reluctantly, that very night.
" There you are, pet." He said, handing her the steaming mug of Irish Creme coffee.
She took a deep sniff, and he watched her body tense and relax as she did.
God, she's so beautiful.
" Thank you." She looked up at him. " Spike, does it not at all strike you as odd that we're sitting in my bedroom, talking, without trying to kill each other."
" Love, it's the strangest thing on the Hellmouth. Well, other then maybe that time where everyone turned into their Halloween costumes. That was just neat."
Buffy crackled a smiled, and then laughed. A beautiful sound.
" So you can make your face do happy things. I was wondering if you knew how to smile."
" You know, I thought I would die when I came into the kitchen and saw you with my mother. It's incredibly strange the way you two get along."
" We bonded over you." He chuckled. " I wanted to kill you, she wanted to kill me for wanting to kill you. And I must say she's good with an axe."
Again Buffy laughed.
" You have an amazing laugh." He said suddenly.
She quieted and looked at him. He leaned towards her.
" Spike, we can't." She said, not really wanting him to pull away.
" Nothing's stopping us, Buffy."
They kissed again, falling backwards on the bed. The kiss competed closely with their first, but didn't last quite as long.
" Can I ask you something." Spike said.
" Shoot."
" What the bloody Hell does 'Buffy' stand for? There is no way that is a real name."
Buffy blushed.
" Promise not to laugh?"
" No. If it's funny, I'll laugh."
" Then I won't tell you."
" Fine, I won't laugh." Curiousity was eating him alive.
" Elizabeth. Elizabeth Anne Summers."
" Elizabeth?" He said with surprise. " I was expecting like Buffisomethingerother. But Elizabeth, it's so normal."
She laughed.
" Now tell me something."
" Ask away."
" Do you have a last name?"
" Maybe."
" Come on."
" Blake. William Blake."
" And you thought Elizabeth was normal? William Blake."
" Elizabeth Anne."
" Sush."
" Then don't call me William."
" Okay, how's about Willy?"
" Don't start, Eliza."
" Cheap shot."
" Willy wasn't?"
They both burst out laughing.
" Here's looking at you kid." He said.
" Yeah, this could be the beginning on a beautiful friendship."
Spike leaned over and kissed her.
" What was that for?"
" I had to shut you up somehow didn't I?"
She punched him, playfully, then returned the kiss.
