Disclaimer on Part One

---

Buffy and I had been happy for almost a year now. Buffy had started college. She thinks she can be a Slayer and a personal secretary at the same time. Well, if she thinks she can... Things were going great. Willow and I were actually starting to be friends again. It was really hard before since I wasn't able to look at her. I was just so sorry for cheating on her. But I got over the guilt issue, and we're now able to hang out. Just like last night when I helped her do some sort of spell. I don't even remember what the spell was for. Anyway, I gotta call her tonight. I wanna ask her to help me find the perfect gift for Buffy's birthday.

"Hello ?"
"Willow, it's Spike. What are you doing tonight ?"
"Nothing, why ?"
"I need your help."
"What for ?"
"I need the perfect gift. For Buffy's birthday. And since you two are quite close, I thought that maybe..."
"Oh, I see. Sure, no problem. Why don't you come over, and we can look at the options."
"Thanks, I'll be right there."

Now, that's taken care of. But I still don't have a clue about what Buffy wants for her eighteenth birthday.
Willow and I had been sitting in her room for three hours now, talking about possible gifts. Willow was exhausted.

"What about a car ?"
"A car ?! Willow, I don't have that kind of money."
"Sorry. Maybe you shouldn't look for something material. I mean, she's not Madonna."
"I know, but I'm not really good at making things. What about jewellery ? Girls always like jewellery."
"No, I really think you should make her a gift. Something really... meaningful."
"Like what ? I've already given up feeding on humans, what else can I do ?"
"I don't know. Maybe... Just come over to my desk. I'm gonna check something up on my computer."
"What's this ?"
"Ms. Calendar's files. Maybe I can find something there. Now let's see... Oh my God !"
"What ? What did you find ?"
"Spike, what do you think Buffy'd say if you showed up breathing at her birthday party ?"
"You mean..."
"Yes, I think I can make you human."

---

I went speechless when Willow told me what she had found. She could make me human. I would be able to see Buffy during the day, eat real food, get a tan and everything. Willow said it was the perfect gift but I don't think so. I mean, it is the perfect gift. For me ! That's why I'm gonna buy Buffy a ring. A silver ring. 'Cuz when I get all human again, I wanna make a commitment. I'm not gonna ask her to marry or something, no. It's just that I wanna take our relation ship one step further. Show Buffy that I'm really serious about it. I hope I won't freak her out.

Buffy and I were at the Bronze. She was trying to make me tell her what I was gonna get her for her birthday.

"What don't you tell me ? I mean, it can't be worse than what I got last year, thanks to you."
"Not me. Drusilla and Angel."
"Anyway, tell me what you're gonna get me !"
"How do you know I'm gonna get you anything ?"
" 'Cuz I know that you know that I've got a stake in my sleeve."
"You do, don't you ? Anyway, just be patient. There are only three days left."
"By the way, I know about the party."
"How come ?"
"Xander. His locker was full of little party hats."
"What were you doing in his locker ?"
"Getting a book."
"I'm going home."
"Why ?"
"I gotta something to do."
"What ?"
"None of your business. See you tomorrow, luv."
"See you."

I thought I'd never get out ! Willow's gonna be mad. She told me to meet her at her place to go thru the ingredients for the spell. I was supposed to meet her half an hour ago.

"Well, finally !"
"Sorry, I was with Buffy. So, what do we do ?"
"Nothing, I've got all the ingredients right here at home. But there's a little problem."
"What ?"
"Well, to make you human again, I need to... How can explain it ? Suck the life out of a human being and transfer it to your body."
"As you said, that's a problem."
"Exactly since the ritual would kill a normal human. But I figured something out. If I can get someone with outstanding powers, like a Slayer, and then cast a spell on them before I perform the ritual to make them extra strong, then I don't think they'll be killed. Maybe just weak for a little while."
"But I can't ask Buffy ! God, this is hopeless."
"I didn't say it had to be a Slayer, I said someone with the power of a Slayer. I though I could ask Oz."
"Oz ? Oz isn't a Slayer."
"Well, no, he isn't. But he's a werewolf. A werewolf with a lot of strength."
"I see. But why would he do that for me ? He and I aren't such great friends."
"I know, the chances of him agreeing are small, but what do you have to loose ?"
"Do you want me to ask him or do you wanna do it yourself ?"
"I think I'll more luck."
"Okay, then I'll see you tomorrow. By the way, Will. Thanks for everything."
"My pleasure."
"Willow, I saw something for Buffy in a store the other night, and I was wondering if you could get it for me tomorrow."
"Sure. What is it ?"
"A ring. It's the shop that's in the same street as the magic shop."
"I see wich one."
"Here's my credit card. The ring's already on hold. The owner of the shop will know wich one it is. Don't forget to tell him to wrap it. Thank you."
"It's nothing. Now I gotta go to bed, so I'll see you tomorrow night, with the ring and Oz I hope."
"Good-night."

Oz's my last chance. I can't believe my life is depending on a werewolf ! I say I've hit bottom. Still, I'd do anything for Buffy. I mean, I've already given up feeding on humans and now I'm giving up immortality. I think she'll get the point. I'm kinda worried about Willow, though. I think she's messing a little too much with black arts. I don't want anything to happen to her. She's so sweet and nice. And forgiving too.

When I got to Willow's and saw her talking to Oz, I felt so relieved. So, I went inside and started to wonder what I was gonna say to Oz. It's like I can just say : 'Hey, by the way, thanks for letting us suck the life outta of you.'. Anyway, I can't just stay outside for ever.

"Hey, Spike." Willow said, "Oz agreed."
"I see that. Thanks a lot, Oz. If there's anything I can do for you..."
"It's allright. I do that all the time."
"..."
"That was my sarcastic voice."
"It sounds a lot like your regular voice."
"I've been told that. So, Willow, how does this ritual-spell thingy work ?"
"Well, before we can do anything, I have to cast a spell on you that will give some more strength. Then I start the ritual for the 'transformation'. We'll have to sit on chairs 'cuz there are a lot of chances that you'll both faint. When we're setteled down, we have to chant and read latin stuff while I mix all the ingredients together. Then you two have to mix a drop of your blood in the glass with all the ingredients and then you both have to drink of the glass."
"But won't that turn Oz into a vampire or a demon ?"
"No, to become a vampire, you would have to drink Oz's blood as well."
"But his blood's in the glass too !"
"Oh. Shit ! No, wait, the drops of holy water will prevent that."
"I've gotta drink holy water ?!"
"Don't worry, you won't desintegrate. Actually, you won't even feel it. "
"I'm starting to change my mind over here." Oz said, "So , don't talk about the ingredients."
"Don't worry, there aren't anymore yucky stuff. Anyway, I was saying, when you've finished drinking the glass, that's when the transformation begins. Oz, you will feel very tired as your life power is leaving your body to go to Spike's. And you Spike, this is gonna hurt like Hell but it won't last long."
"How do we know when the ritual finished ?"
"When your heart's beating."
"Right. Okay, then we'll have to do the spell tomorrow night."
"Why not on Buffy's birthday ? Willow said it was a gift for her."
"I wanna surprise her on her birthday, that's why we have to do the spell the night before."
"I see. What about the party ? Is everything ready ?"
"No. We still haven't figured a way to get Buffy to the library without it being suspicious. Oh, Spike, here's the ring. Buffy's gonna love it."
"Thanks. There's something I just don't seem to understand : Everyone's in college, right ? How come you still hang out at the school-library ?"
"Well, it's the head-quarter for the Scooby Gang."
"What's with the ring ?" Oz asked me, "Are you you and Buffy like... Getting married or something ?"
"No ! Nothing like that. I just thought that a ring is maybe the best way to show her how much I love her."
Oz and Willow looked at each other. I could tell that even after all this time, Oz was still in love with her. I don't know about Wilow, we don't talk about those things.
"You two are like the perfect couple. I mean, you went thru so much. First there was this thing with Angel and then even if you and... I really should shut up."
"You should. And Buffy and I are not the perfect couple 'cuz I can't see how a vampire Slayer and a vampire can be the perfect couple. Anyway, I gotta get back home. I'll see you tomorrow after sundown. Cross your fingers. Thanks again for everything, you two."

I'm pretty lucky. I've got a wonderful girlfriend who is, by the way, a Slayer. I've also got a wonderful ex-girlfriend who is willing to be my friend and help me thru anything even if I cheated on her. And I've got this friend who is willing to let someone drain him from his life power just so that I can be human. And the worse part is that I've tried to kill them so many times ! And now I'm gonna be human again.

I couldn't stay quiet. Or stop walking back and forth across the room. Or do anything, actually. I was too tenced. Soon, I was gonna see sunlight again. I carefully looked outside the window and saw the sky getting darker. It's only half an hour untill sundown. I don't think I'll manage to wait any longer. No, I will manage. I'm just... gonna sit down and read a book. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. Read a book. Where do I have a book ? I don't have a book. I can watch TV. I just need to find the remote. I can't find the remote. I have to find the remote ! Now !
After looking for the stupid remote for thirty minutes, I realized that it was safe for me to get out. I actually ran to Willow's. I just wanted to get there as fast as possible. Oz and I arrived at the same time.

"Guys !" Willow said, "At the same time. Cool."
"Let's do this. Now."
"Calm down, Spike. Oz, I'm gonna do the spell. Come over here. While we're doing this, Spike. Just sit down and try to... I don't know, relax.

Relax ! Easy to say ! I mean, how could I relax ? I can't relax ! I gotta relax. Oh, here's Willow and Oz again.

"What is it ? What went wrong ? Can't you fix it ? Please, I beg you, fix it!"
"Spike, God, calm down !" Willow said, "It was a really simple spell, we're done. Now it's your turn."
"How are you feeling, Oz ? Feel strong. And sorry to have to take all that power from you."
"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Willow ?"
"Okay, let's get started."
Willow started chanting and Oz and I read the latin texts. Then it was time for all the mixing. Pretty yucky if you ask me.
"Okay, now let the blood fall in the glass." Willow explained, "This is... Like that, right. Uh, now, Oz, you drink it first."
"This is so gross ! And disgusting. Your turn Spike."
"Man, it's awful ! Willow, what's next ?"
"Just sit there, the both of you. Oz, you'll soon start to feel really tired. Try not to fall asleep. You Spike, I suggest you grab something. Not my hand, please."

Then it happened. It hurt so much I thought my brain was gonna explode. I passed out right after Oz did. When I woke up, I was lying in Willow's couch with Wilow sitting next to me.

"Hey. Are you feeling better ?"
"I'm OK. How's Oz ?"
"He's fine."
"Is he awake ?"
"Not yet but he'll be soon. I'm just gonna put some holy water on you. Just to be sure."
Willow took the little glass that was on the table and poored some water on me. Nothing happened. That's when I realized that I had been holding my breathe. My breathe !
"Here's your answer. Thank you so much, Willow. I wanna see Oz. Where is he ?"
"He's in my room. Can you stand ?"
"I can try. Yeah, I'm up but you'll have to help me walk. How long am I gonna be like this ?"
"You'll be back in full strength in less than an hour. Oh, look. Oz's awake."
"Hey. So Spike, feeling human ?"
"Yeah, I've even got a heart beat and everything. How are you feeling ?"
"Man, you owe me one. Actually, not just one. Did you pass out as well ?"
"Right after you. Willow, I don't think I can go home right now. What time is it ?"
"4 a.m. Anyway, you don't need to worry about sunrise anymore."
"That's right. I gotta get used to this. Do you know what time Buffy usually wakes up ?"
"She has a class at 9 so I guess she wakes up at 8. Why ?"
"I wanna be the first thing she sees today. In sunlight."
"Don't worry about anything. You'll get there in time."
"I can't thank you two enough. Now I'm just gonna rest."

That's it. I'm finally human. After two hundred years, I can once again call myself a human being. This feels so good ! I'll feel even better after I've given Buffy the ring. I wonder how she's gonna react. I mean, this some major changes I've just made ! And now I'm about to tell her that I wanna make a commitment. What if she doesn't want my ring ? Anyway, I gotta go now. I'm going out !

Here I am, in Buffy's room. I just got here. Buffy's so beautiful when she sleeps, it makes me feel bad about waking her up. But it's her birthday and I've got such a surprise for her.

"Buffy, wake up."
"Go away, Mom."
"Buffy, it's me."
"Spike ? Oh my God !"
"Happy birthday."
"Spike, you're standing in sunlight. How come ?"
"I'm human again. Willow did this spell to make me human again."
"I... Oh my God ! Is it... For me ?"
"Yes, it is. So, what do you think ?"
"It's... Wonderful ! I can't... I love you !"
"I love you too. I've got something else for you."
"What is it ?"
"Buffy, we've been together for almost a year now. Now that I'm human again, and I want us to take our relation ship a step further. This is why I want you to have this ring. It's like... To show you how much I love you and care about you. I hope you like it."
"Spike I... I'm speechless. I love it !"
"I'm glad you do. Aren't you going to school ?"
"Oh, yeah, right. But the others and I are meeting at the library first. I've gotta get ready and you can tell me about the spell on the way."
"You want me to go to school with you ?"
"I'd love to but can't.But I wanna show you to the rest of the Gang."

When Buffy was ready, she and I went out. It was just delightful ! When she and I got to the library, the looks on everybody's faces were priceless. I think Giles' heart stopped for a second.

"Spike !" Xander screamed, "How..."
"He's human." Willow said, "Thanks to me and Oz."
"You and Oz ?" Giles asked, "What did you two have to do with it ?"
"I performed a spell to make Spike human but I needed the life power from someone and Oz volunteered."
"Oh, I see. Did you the latin ritual with the blood mixing ?"
"Yes, how did you know ?"
"I read about it somewhere. By the way, Buffy, happy birthday."
"Oh, yeah, happy birthday." Xander added, "This time I promess I won't get you a weapon for a gift."
"Thanks, Xander."
"Happy birthday, Buffy. Since I was busy getting your boyfriend a heart beat, I didn't get you such a wonderful present. I'll give it to you later."
"Thanks."
"I'm sure you heard it many times before," Oz began, "But I'm gonna say it anyway. Happy birthday. I do have a present for you, but I kinda forgot it in my van."
"Thank you, Oz."
"Well, I guess there's only me left, huh ?" Cordelia said, "Well, I didn't have much time to get you a present so I got you a gift coupon."
"Thank you, Cordelia. Well, I guess we should get to school, huh ? My birthday isn't a public holiday yet."

Buffy and her friends took Oz's van. I stayed in the library with Buffy's Watcher. She calls him Giles. I wonder if he has a first name if it's just 'Giles'. Like 'Cher' or 'Madonna'.

"So, Spike," he said, "How does it feel to be human again ?"
"Wondeful."
"I'm happy for you. What did you get Buffy for her birthday ? I mean, if you did get her something else."
"I got her a silver ring. The transformation was more of a gift for myself."
"I see."
"Look, I know that I did some pretty horrible things to you and the others back in time and I never really apologized. So, I just wanna say I'm sorry and I hope you can forgive me."
"It's... It's allright."
"Uh, what time should I come tonight ? We're still having a party, aren't we ?"
"We are. Come around 7."
"How are you gonna get Buffy to come here ?"
"I guess we'll just put a blind fold on her eyes."
"Oh. Is there anthing I can do ? I mean, I feel uncomfortable just sitting here."
"Well, no, there's nothing you can do. I suggest you go out and enjoy the sunny weather."
"Good idea. Do you know what time Buffy's last class is ? I have to pick her up."
"I think it's at 2. Don't bother going to her school, everyone's coming here anyway."
"Thank you."

So I went out. I actually stayed right outside thw whole time. The sun felt great on my face. Allthough, I wonder if becoming human again was a mistake. I mean, living forever is kinda neat. I get to see all those nifty things. I mean, two hundred years ago, I would've never thought that man would be walking on the moon. And I always thought I'd be around long enough to see more nifty stuff like that. Hold on a second. Why am I conplaining ? I've got a great girlfriend who is by the way a Slayer. I've also got a soul and I'm not a blood-sucking demon anymore. Anyway, gotta pick Buffy up, now. I'm planning on taking her to the mall. I know she loves that.

When I opened the doors of the library, Buffy and Willow were fighting.

"Well, what if I did ?" Buffy yelled, "You don't know that !"
"You can't love !" Willow screamed, "You're as cold hearted as you ex-boyfriend, Angel !"
"You bitch ! Or should I say witch ? Well, at least you didn't stole that boyfriend from me !"
"I didn't steal Spike from you !"
"Oh yes you did ! You just can't stand seeing me happy, can you ?"
"Like that happens a lot !"
"I know what this is all about. You just realized that Spike was never in love with you."
"He loved me enough to sleep with me !"
"What ?!"
"A year ago. When he saw you with Angel, he and I got drunk and ended up sleeping together."
"Oh, that's right. The only way for a guy to sleep with you is if he's drunk !"
"How can you say that ?!"
"Let's take a quick look at the facts : you practically threw yourself at Xander and he still wouldn't sleep with you. Same thing with Oz."
"Don't need to bring me up in this conversation." Oz said.
"At least Spike didn't turn into Mr. Killing Spree when I slept with him."
I just stood there listening to everything that was going on. It was kinda neat, actually. At least untill Willow brought up the time when she and I slept together.
"At least I've got a history of dating. You've got a werewolf and Xander. And Xander was in love with me too."
"At least I'm not a slutt."
That's when I decided to say something.
"Okay, let's not say something we'll regret, okay ?"
"Vapid whore !"
"Crazy freak !"
"Like that."
"Shut up, Spike !"
"For once, Buffy's right. Shut up."
"What do you mean 'for once' ? I don't have to be a computer nerd wannabe-witch to be right !"
"Who did you call wannabe ?"
"Gotta love those chick fights." Xander said, "It's even better than cable."
"Seems to me like since I was the Slayer and was getting all the attention, you had to go and find something to get attention too. Nothing you're actually good that. That makes a wannabe."
"I'll show you wannabe !"
Willow got really pissed started this... witchcraft thingie on Buffy.
"Winds of East and winds of West,
I call you, I call the pest,
Make this ignorant see your force,
For the better or the worse."
Then Willow directed all the power she had gathered onto Buffy and she just disapeared.
"Oh my God !" Giles screamed, "Willow, what did you do to Buffy ?!"
"I mad her see that I'm not a wannabe."
Xander was close to fainting. So was I.
"Where did she go ?" Xander screamed. Then he turned to Willow with a look in his eyes that I had never seen before. "Willow, I swear that if you hurt Buffy..."
"What's wrong with you ? Why did you have to use magic on her ? It's not like she put a stake to your throat !" I began, "And how did this fight start anyway ?"
"We were talking about you. Buffy asked me why I agreed to do the spell to make you human. And I told that it was because I loved you. And I also told her that she wasn't capable of loving anyone."
"Why did you do that ? My God ! Bring Buffy back."
"But Spike, Buffy's gone, we can be together."
"Read my lips : I... Don't... Love... You. I... Love... Buffy. Now bring her back."
"I don't think I can."

To Be Continued

Next Part

BACK TO MAIN PAGE