TRL: "Back That Ass Up"



Back That Ass Up

(Tom):Hey! Don't walk away from me! Back that ass up right now!

Got you working with some ass, yeah

(Mike):Now, mold the ass into the desired shape yuo wish to sculpt. WORK with the ass.

You bad, yeah

(Crow):(Swedish accent)You understand me, ya?

Make a nigga spend his cash, yeah

(Tom):You damn prostitutes, I tell ya...

His last, yeah

(Mike):His Last of the Mohicans, yeah.

Hoes clown when you pass, yeah

(Crow):It's the adult circus with Hoes the Clown!

They mad, yeah

(Tom):You haven't given them back their powersaw yeah?

You gon' ride in the Jag, yeah

(Mike):I gon' ride to an English class, yeah.

With dad, yeah

(Crow):No, I don't consider my dad my "significant other."

You could smoke or buy a bag, yeah

(Tom):Or you could smoke a bag, yeah.

A grass, yeah

(Mike):I believe the correct way to say it is a BLADE of grass.

Got money I confess, yeah

(Crow):All the money I got from mugging.

And trash, yeah

(Tom):This man is happy because he has money and garbage!

I'm a Big Tymer nigga, yeah

(Mike):Well, YOU may like it, but I only drink Tymer in small doses.

Pulling trigger, yeah

(Crow):Killing guy who wrote this song, yeah?

A player hater to flip with, yeah

(Tom):But certainly NOT one to pirouette with.

Gon' head and fill it, yeah

(Mike):Go ahead on. It's your move.

I be slanging wood, yeah

(Crow):Hi Slanging Wood. I be Crow T. Robot.

Out the hood, yeah

(Tom):It's too warm out to wear a hood!

Let it be understood, yeah

(Mike):Well, its kind of hard to understand ebonics.

It's all good, yeah

(Crow):No, this song has been all BAD so far.

Got a nigga screaming large, yeah

(Tom):Why would you scream "large?"

On the hard, yeah

(Mike):Saying yeah every time, yeah.

A smooth ghetto broad, yeah

(Crow):As opposed to rough ghetto narrow.
(Mike):I don't think that's what he meant by broad...

I want the broad, yeah

(Tom):But she's probably too classy for you.

A nigga do a trick, yeah

(Mike):Fetch the stick! Good boy!

On the dick, yeah

(Crow):Yes, I'll do a trick on Moby Dick.

You claiming you want a b*tch, yeah

(Tom):Oh, a BATCH? You want a BATCH? So you're gay, then?

That ain't sh*t, yeah

(Mike):This is high quality garbage!

The nigga with the money, yeah

(Crow):Gets to bribe the cops!

Don't act funny, yeah

(Tom):No, put away the clown suit! DON'T ACT FUNNY!

Got birds and I'm running, yeah

(Mike):Better than having the runs and getting the bird.

'Bout a hundred, yeah

(Crow):No, wait, closer to five.

Girl, you looks good, won't you back that ass up

(Tom):Ten yard penalty on your ass! Back it up!

You'se a fine motherf***er, won't you back that ass up

(Mike):And they say English isn't a romance language.

Call me big daddy when you back that ass up

(Crow):Ok. Big craphead. What, was that wrong?

Hoe, who is you playing with

(Tom):I is playing with not English going while young to learn good.

Back that ass up

(Mike):Gee, ain't he sweet?

Girl, you looks good, won't you back that ass up

(Crow):Look, I can pay!

You'se a fine motherf***er, won't you back that ass up

(Tom):YOU'SE? Was this song written by English flunkies?

Call me big daddy when you back that ass up

(Mike):You know, rappers are always portrayed as BAD. I don't undertsand why.

Girl, who is you playing with

(Crow):You'se is playing with the lyrics too much.

Back that ass up

(Tom):You would think she'd have pulled out the mace at this point.

Girl, you looks good, won't you back that ass up

(Mike):I HAVE A GUN!

You'se a fine motherf***er, won't you back that ass up

(Crow):You'll never take me alive!

(Juvenile)

(Tom):The god of rappers.

You got to steel, big ass, yeah

(Mike):I've got to steal an ass?

Make me laugh, yeah

(Crow):Ha ha! Sexual harrassment is funny!

Make a nigga wanna grab that

(Tom):Grab my hat and coat and RUUUUUNNN!

Wanna grab that

(Mike):Grab that tequila, man I'm out of it.

I'm sweating on the draws, yeah

(Crow):Oh, so he's a cartoonist?

On hard, yeah

(Tom):NOT on lard, as was earlier suggested.

Wanna walk it like a dog, yeah

(Mike):Like a dog? You mean you...and your dog...ugh...

Break you off, yeah

(Crow):Oh, she's a Kit-Kat bar!

Get, how you gon' yours, yeah

(Tom):Please excuse this poor attempt at a sentence.

That's for sure, yeah

(Mike):Oh, definitely. I agree.

You f***ing with my nerves, yeah

(Crow):Ha ha, you playful son of a...

To the curb, yeah

(Tom):Yes, Sex on the Curb, the Broadway musical!

I know you b*tches know, yeah

(Mike):When he puts it so sweetly...

And it show, yeah

(Crow):Yeah, yeah?

But a nigga got some more, yeah

(Tom):This is like the Canadians with "eh."

I'm 'bout to flow, yeah

(Mike):Please, will you spare us this torment?

Fresh off some sh*t, yeah

(Crow):Now he's just cussing randomly with no meaning!

In his b*tch, yeah

(Tom):Your sentences are making less and less sense.

We be making hit, yeah

(Mike):In China, we be making plastic McDonald's toys.

After hit, yeah

(Crow):And after the hit, we'll go get more drugs!

Them t*tties sitting nice, yeah

(Tom):Wow, that's so complementary! The woman must just be overwhelmed by his gentlemanliness!

I wanna bite, yeah

(Mike):(Canadian accent)Hey, Joe, I got a bite here, eh!

I could f*** you right, yeah

(Crow):But he prefers to do it WRONG.

All night, yeah

(Tom):But he would have to have a LOT of energy.

Wanna bring it to my house, yeah

(Mike):Yunno, I think the WORST prostitute would be turned off at this point.

On the couch, yeah

(Crow):Please, we're watching Seinfeld!

Knock the pussy out, yeah

(Tom):Damn cat!

Get them out, yeah

(Mike):Get out those kitchen knives!

I wanna see these hoes, yeah

(Crow):So he's inviting her friends over?

Bend it low, yeah

(Tom):Or, lend it bow, yeah?

Let me run it in the hole, yeah

(Mike):I need to leave before I get sick...(Mike exits)

Let me know, yeah

(Crow):Lemme know when you want me to stop watching football.

Girl, you looks good, won't you back that ass up

(Tom):Your mother would be shocked by these lyrics even if she was an old slut.
(Mike re-enters)
(Crow):You ok, man?
(Mike):Better...

You'se a fine motherf***er, won't you back that ass up

(Mike):Wow, more reproductive humor!

Call me big daddy when you back that ass up

(Crow):Just don't call me late for dinner!

Hoe, who is you playing with

(Tom):I'se is playing my'se Gameboy.

Back that ass up

(Mike):If you don't, I'm just going to dispense with the pleasantries!

Girl, you looks good, won't you back that ass up

(Crow):Well, you look good, but are you the right one to MURDER?

You'se a fine motherf***er, won't you back that ass up

(Tom):(female voice)Why, thank you! You're so sweet! Teehee!

Call me big daddy when you back that ass up

(Mike):But you needn't have to call me Johnson!

Hoe, who is you playing with

(Crow):And N.O.W. isn't up in arms about this song?

Back that ass up

(Tom):Yes, feel free to treat women like dirt!

(Manny Fresh)

(Mike):Ever get up with that not so Manny Fresh feeling?

I know you can't stand it

(Crow):We really can't stand this song.

Big Bandit

(Tom):Robin Hood?

Done landed

(Mike):Apollo 13?

See the draws handed

(Crow):Draws? Gary Larson?

We can go get it y'all

(Tom):Yeah, let's go get the trophy!

Gang split it y'all

(Mike):We'll split it 50-50 three ways.

Put the b*tch on the wall and I hit it y'all

(Crow):So now its a group plan?

I'm looking kind of lonely

(Tom):So, instead of finding love, I'm gonna go have SEX!

I'm feeling horny

(Mike):Hi, Feeling Horny, I'm Mike Nelson!

Put the dick in the middle like Monee

(Crow):Moné? They're bringing painters into this?

Big, thick plumber chick

(Tom):She's a plumber?

And a Hummer chick

(Mike):She forgot the words.

Beat the dick like a motherf***ing drummer chick

(Crow):No, children are NOT corrupted by the music they hear on the radio!

Cinch that putty-cat

(Tom):My God, Tweety Bird has gone horribly, horribly wrong!

Look at that

(Mike):I tawt I taw a putty...oh, forget it.

I love a f***ing hoody-rat

(Crow):If you'd explain your terms a little more, please.

That's a fact

(Tom):NOT an opinion!

You'se a motherf***ing get it girl

(Mike):So go get me a beer!

Quit it girl

(Crow):Womanizing: The American Way.

I'm the nigga, the nigga, nigga

(Tom):Old McDonald Had A Farm: The Rap Lyrics.

The hit it girl

(Mike):What? More lyrics about sex? Ok, nothing new...

Girl, you looks good, won't you back that ass up

(Crow):Wake me up when they come to some lyrics NOT sexually related.
(Tom):No, don't go to sleep, or you may NEVER wake up.

You'se a fine motherf***er, won't you back that ass up

(Tom):This is actually a song about King Dons!

Call me big daddy when you back that ass up

(Mike):Adam Sandler?

Hoe, who is you playing with

(Crow):The really bad part is, this guy is the English teacher at the local high school.

Back that ass up

(Tom):Screw you, you bastard rapper!

Girl, you looks good, won't you back that ass up

(Mike):Well, little lady, you sure look purdy tonight.

You'se a fine motherf***er, won't you back that ass up

(Crow):Hey, buddy. That's a guy you're talking to.

Call me big daddy when you back that ass up

(Tom):STOP THE TORTURE!

Hoe, who is you playing with

(Mike):My head...my head...

Back that ass up

(Crow):I'm calling the cops.

(Lil Wayne)

(Tom):Lil Wayne, bastard son of Batman.

Na, na, na, na, na

(Mike):Hey, Jude!

After you back it up, then stop

(Crow):Or else you'll run into the wall. You need to look behind you.

Then wha-wha-what

(Tom):Ooh, Lil Wayne has a stuttering problem.

Dro-drop it like it's hot

(Mike):Ouch! Oo! Hot potato!

Now after you back it up, then stop

(Crow):Uh oh, broken record.

Now, wha-wha-wha-what

(Tom):Eh, sonny? I can't hear you!

Drop it like it's hot

(Mike):Ouch, cuz it is!

Now drop It like it's hot

(Crow):The first person to drop the most in sixty seconds wins!

Drop it like it's hot

(Tom):YOU SAID THAT ALREADY!

C-M-P make you drop it like it's hot

(Mike):M-I-C....see you real soon! K-E-Y...why? Because we like you!

Drop it like it's hot

(Crow):It's a warm cow pie!

Dro-drop it like it's hot

(Tom):He wants us to dro-drop it! I don't know how to dro-drop something!

Drop it like it's hot

(Mike):DROP THE CHALUPA!

Dro-drop it like it's hot

(Crow):NEVER, COPPERS!

Ha

(Tom):Laugh track added by Acme Industries.

(Mike, Tom, and Crow are on the bridge)

Mike: Hi, everyone. Tom, Crow, and I did a little reasearch to find out the person behind one of the rappers in the group. And this is what we turned up on rapper "Lil Wayne."

Lil Wayne was born in Gotham City as "Eddy Bill Wayne," the bastard child of Bruce Wayne, famous millionaire by day and crime fighter "Batman" by night. From the beginning, Edyy and his father were distant, as Bruce denied to all that Eddy even existed. Eddy's mother had rejected him soon after he was born. Without parents to guide him, Eddy grew up on the streets of Gotham City, living by survival of the fittest, stealing what was needed, and killing those who got in his way.

Tom: As young Eddy grew, he moved out of Gotham to New York, where he met "Juvenile." They hit it off, and started planning to form a group. All seemed well for the two entrepeneurs. But all was not as it seemed. Eddy was haunted by the image of a young jelly saleswoman named "Jerisa McDonnel." She was constantly on his mind, even when he was having sex with several other women at once (which he later wrote a song about entitled "Back That Ass (Thang) Up." Eddy also changed his name to "Lil Wayne" for a good rap name.

Crow: But, tragedy would soon befall the budding rap star. One day, as he robbed a bank (while composing lyrics to a song about it in his head), a newly formed and rival rap gand named "Nose Gold" attacked the fleeing Lil Wayne. They killed him using a plunger with a knife taped onto it (an uncloggacutta as it has been dubbed by ghetto occupants). His death was an unexpected turning point. Eddy's soul was consigned to the darkest depths of hell, as were all other rappers who followed Juvenile. No one mourned the loss.

All: The end.

Mike: As you may be able to tell by now, we hated this song. Unil next time, keep happy and keep posting!

Tom: I still think we should market this biography.

Crow: Yeah, talk about a seller!

(fade out)

I'm Soth with Total Request Line.

Stinger: Got a nigga screaming large, yeah...


I'm gon' ride back to more MSTings, yeah.
Dro-drop me back Home!
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