Apocolypse Now! (Soth vs. Skeebow)




Apocalypse Now.

(Servo):Apocalypse Now, the Liddy Dole story!

You've come long way to find me........ Well, here I am. (I slowly put my hands in the water and splash my face with it.)

(Mike):And I brought the rubber gloves...heh heh heh....

What do you think of me? (The only light is a faint dimmer from a fire outside in the jungle.)

(Crow:)You're white and doughy!

You think I'm crazy, don't you? My methods unconventional? My action unwarranted?

(Servo)(in imiatting voice):They think I am insane! It is they who are insane!

(Long pause)

(Mike):Um, hello? Spam post? Spam post, are we still on?

You may be right. Look around you though. What do you see?

(Crow):Well, I see a blimp over there! Look at that guys!
(Tom and Mike):Ooohh, ahhhh!

(No answer, followed by a longer pause.)

(Servo):Ding ding ding ding. The train going through the pause.

You think you can stop me? (I laugh in a muffled insane way.)

(Mike)(in imitating voice):I have over ten years of postal employee experience!

I've done more in a few months then they've done here in ten years!

(Crow)(imitatingly):For I have been taking stimulant drugs!

I've defeated the enemy and mastered their ways.

(Mike):You guys remember an enemy?
(Bots):No, nope, uh uh.

They send you here, for what? I'll tell you who you are.

(Servo):You are Susan Lucci!

You're just a grocery clerk sent to collect the bill.( I turn to the light and face you. My grotesque bald head faces yours.

(Crow):You need to get something done about that, man. Acne cream, or I dunno, ANYTHING!

My burning dubious eyes pierce your soul. You piss in your trousers and run out into jungle night.

(Mike):And now we've introduced a jungle. You guys following?
(Bots):Oh, sure. Yeah. Absolutely.

My sentries capture you as you fall to the ground screaming. It's time for the sacrifice and you're the offering to our pagan gods.

(Servo):I guess movies nowadays don't need followable plots.
(Crow):Yeah, it's the whole "psychadelic generation" again.

The legion is in a frenzy as the large machete chops through your head.

(Mike):Failing at Alcatraz High School often had strict penalties.

A final whimper is heard as your limp body collapses to the earth.) I win again.

(Mike, Crow, and Tom):Now what am I gonna do? I'm going to Disneyland!

Soth

Stinger: You're just a grocery clerk sent to collect the bill.


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