The Paths Not Taken
In the Kingdom of the Blind part 1
(Very very alternate Scenes, heck, the whole episode is altered, but since this stuff comes next I'll keep the title. The rogues haven't found out what the Vorlons did to Lyta, or how telepaths were created. Either way, it goes out the same as the show did.)
*//Thoughts broadcast to/from (another) telepath.//*
//Private thoughts or mental argument - when one person is trying to decide something.//
~Emphasis marks~
"Words like this are translated from another language for the reader."
~~~~ Scene change - small (or POV change)
******** Scene change - large (or POV change)
"Do you know what it's like when telepaths make love, Commander? You drop every defense, and it's all mirrors, reflecting each other's feelings, deeper and deeper, until somewhere along the line your souls mix and it's a feeling so profound it makes you hurt. It's the only moment in a telepath's life when you no longer hear the voices." - Talia Winters to Jeffery Sinclair, 'Mind War'. (Season One)
(At least PG 13 - Lots of body parts! Sex (m/f) and mild violence. Nothing worse than what the show has shown at one time or another.)
For those curious, the Day of the Dead saw the return of her brother Ganya, (jms said it wouldn't be Marcus) and her lost earring, so you'd see a matched set from this episode on. If you ask nice I'll try to write that alternate episode.
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Captain Susan Ivanova knew her day wasn't going to go well, even before she could think about waking up fully. Her brain hadn't quite registered the alarm call going off before something much more important took away her ability to think from her.
It also took away her ability to breathe in as she got less than two steps from her bed before doubling over to vomit the contents of her stomach onto the floor of her quarters.
Several minutes later, however, her mind was racing at full speed. //Vodka tastes horrible the second time - this can't be a hangover I'm russian I don't get hung over - I can't get sick I've got a station to run and my telepaths to deal with/image-memory of Byron kissing her passionately/overlaid with image of Bester's smirk/I have to clean this up - I have to get going - // She staggered to her feet, made it to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. She was feeling a little better already. //The stress must be finally getting to me, messing up my systems. I just have to stay focused.//
She skipped breakfast, settling instead for a cup of tea. She didn't feel like drinking coffee for the past few days, another odd event she didn't waste time considering while she cleaned up, organised and exercised. She didn't let the incident wiggle back into her thoughts throughout her duty shift, or during her private meeting with Byron afterwards, discussing how potential immigrants would get to this potential homeworld - how would he convince Psi Corps to let them come, if not, how would he protect so many rogues?
At least, that's the excuse the captain mentioned to Corwin at the end of her shift as he took over C&C. The reality, several minutes after the door to her quarters sealed behind them, was decidedly different, and a lot more carnal.
So she didn't admit to herself in the minutes following the first, still partly-dressed encounter, that her purpose in stripping off their clothes and leading him to her shower - real water, a scarce commodity on B5 - was to see his reaction to such a luxury after having to use sonics (or nothing) to clean with for so long.
She did admit she was glad the walls, floors, and ceiling were all soundproof, or else her neighbors would have realised her meeting wasn't about business any more than most her previous ones had been, as she was held against the wall, moaning, reveling in the texture of Byron's skin, the feeling of the water steaming over them, Byron's gentle tutoring on how to trigger him compared to his forceful slams of their hips against the wall as she was successful several brief times in a row before figuring out how to hold the 'button' down continuously while Byron groaned, biting down on her damp shoulder while his pelvis ground tightly into hers, his arms holding her legs tightly around him to keep her from slipping in the slick environment.
Susan knew it wasn't nearly as intense as when all the other telepaths had mirrored but it still blew her mind as she had her fourth incredible orgasm in half as many hours, Byron and her locked soul to soul in her bed, wearing out the mattress with wonderful ferocity before finally collapsing in exhaustion side by side, pressing against each other's soaked skin, just holding on.
*//I almost wish this could last, that we could be together. But I know this is too intense . . . and I can't stay here with you, even if I have turned down the Warlock, she's maybe a month from being refitted, they said they'd ask me again but I just don't know! How could I be with you again? I can't go to your future home and admit to being a teep, I know that after all that I've done the Corps would probably have me executed as soon as they could get me!//*
*//It's all right, Susan, it's all right. I've said normals would be permitted in a few places, how else would we keep families together, if some were mundanes and others telepaths - in time your ship could visit, or if you wanted to remain planetside as an EA officer - an observer, the Corps would never have to know your gift exists.//* He soothed her, placing his mouth on her body, tasting the salt on her skin, caressing. *//I will look after all my telepaths, including you.//*
*//Bester returns in a week! What will we do? Sure, we could get all of you rogues heading to a homeworld by then, but it will take years to get a homeworld! You still have to ~find~ one, ask permission, set up construction, what if it turns out to be a month's travel from a jumpgate? How can you afford to do any of this? I know you've got some money being earned - but it'll never be enough in time at the rate it's at now . . . oh . . . please continue . . .//* She softly moaned as he teased her with his tongue, a welcome distraction from the pessimism winding through her mind.
*//Do not worry, my beautiful woman. This will likely be one of our, if not ~the~ last time we have together, so let your thoughts go.//* Byron's teeth gently nipped slow circles on the undersides of her breasts, his fingers trailing along further down. He hadn't told her what his followers had been ordered to do a while before he came. *//Things may go more quickly than that. If not, then I'd prefer to spend my last days in the company of a gorgeous, passionate, intelligent warrior.//* He looked up from her chest, smiling at her before his lips closed on her again, teasing away her question as to how he expected to compress over a decade's worth of beurocracy into a week's time as his hand moved her legs apart beside him, and slid inside.
~~~~
Susan yawned and blinked, feeling better than she'd ever felt before. Every day, it seemed, Byron showed her how to push back the borders on pleasure. She snuggled under her blankets, inhaling deeply the scent of Byron and herself that had been deposited on the sheets, and was still clinging stubbornly to her own skin. //Do I want to enjoy this longer, or do I want to shower again and do the paperwork I've let pile up?//
Byron had left almost an hour before, delighted to have a final shower before a lingering kiss good-bye. Her stomach finally decided for her. Susan sighed, pushed off the quilt and stretched luxuriously.
She got up and slipped on a robe before pulling out supper supplies. She'd hardly eaten the entire day, and hunger gnawed at her belly. She wished Byron had been able to stay long enough to eat, but a 3 hour 'meeting' that left him physically and mentally exhausted was pressing the limits of believability as it was. He was a little on the thin side for her tastes . . . and she'd certainly burned off any extra flesh he'd been carrying that evening. //Yow! I haven't felt this good in forever!//
After eating, she went to take her shower when she noticed something on her calendar. To be a little more precise, she noticed what hadn't happened.
She should have begun menstruating almost a week ago. She should have ~finished~ by now . . .
// ! //
//OOooooooh Sh*t.//
There weren't any actual words that went through her mind, just concepts, and pure, raw emotion. Not terror, not yet. Confusion. Shame. Betrayal. Uncertainty. //How could I have been so STUPID as to forget!??//
THEN the terror set in, hot and foul as her late supper returned to haunt her on its way into the toilet.
When her vomiting had been reduced to dry heaves and she could again breathe, she still could not speak through the tears eroding lines into her face. But in the past few months, she'd learned new ways to scream.
~~~~
In a modest room on the 25th level of red sector, a woman was sound asleep. A woman who had been bred from two humans, but who no longer allowed herself to believe the myth that she was still a human. She heard the cry that no one else could hear and woke to her name. She quickly, carefully unwrapped herself from the arms of the one who she'd gone to for her own, unexplainable reasons.
He didn't wake up as she felt around in the dark with her hands until she located her jacket and shoes. She hadn't fully undressed when she came there, several hours before. She'd been too nervous as it was, worrying if he would wake up as she laid down next to him and moved herself closer, letting his arms wrap around her unconsciously when she laid her head on his chest to listen to his heart beating through the layers of bone and muscle and shirt-cloth. He'd said weeks ago that she was welcome to come to him at any time. He gave her the access code to his room, as long as he was inside, she could get in, even if he was sleeping and couldn't hear the doorbell. She'd protested that she couldn't impose, but he insisted that she still try to use him as a block when Byron's passionate side started to hurt her, pointing out that it had worked before. He'd said (shyly) she was welcome even if she wasn't in trouble. She'd come to him numerous times in the past few weeks, drawn by some need that could not be fulfilled. But it let her sleep, and if she dreamed during those nights then she didn't remember.
She finished fastening her jacket, slid her fingers through her hair and hoped it looked passable. With a soft brushing of her lips upon Zack's, Lyta left the sleeping man behind and hurried for the captain's rooms in blue sector.
She found Susan curled up over her toilet, shivering, unaware of anything beyond begging mentally for her friend to come until she put her hand on Susan's shoulder.
*// ? //* Lyta inquired, picking up a cloth, dousing it with warm water, and wiped off the stray flecks of vomit from Susan's face and neck.
*//I think I'm pregnant.//*
Lyta stopped, looking at Susan. *// ! //* Then she realised it wasn't that big of a surprise, considering the sexual ruckus they'd been broadcasting for most of the evening . . . and just about every day for the past 3 weeks. At least when they weren't nearby other teeps, it was still quiet enough for Lyta to block. But when Susan (or another woman) was in downbelow and the others pitched in . . . sometimes she'd been able to go to Zack, twice he'd been in her room for something else when 'it' started to happen, the other times she just hid in her quarters and cried.
*//Lyta I can't hear you please what are you thinking I can't get through this without a friend I don't know what to do I can't keep it if I am pregnant and I can't face a doctor to transfer it I'm an Earthforce Captain the media would have a field day with this! I can't let them know, I can't let anyone know Byron's the father the Corps would take me in they'd realise I was a teep - because of his attitude towards mundanes - //*
*//Normals!//* Lyta spiked in the concept-word.
*//- he knows we are better than they are and wouldn't ever have intercourse with one! Byron is strong Oh!All!Things!Holy! he is strong, hell he might even be a P11 or a 12, I know his children would be strong also - that baby I saw you playing with, months ago - did you know it's Byron son? He told me, said he'd been smuggled away again by some friends! He has one child already, I should have known he might conceive again, hell, I've done it once before, long ago, but I wasn't even out of school yet! It was easy to transfer the fetus! But now? Here? I can't let this get onto my medical records! But there's no way, no technology to do it out of Medlab, no way to do it off the record!//*
Lyta had reached over, touched Susan's face with her fingertips, let her friend's words flow along through their skin and nerves to her mind, listening calmly until Susan hit bottom and was calmer.
*//How 'late' are you, and how often have you been . . . //* Lyta tipped her hear towards the toilet.
Susan moaned and hit the flush button. *// 'bout a week, twice now, and how do I get the taste out?//*
*//I don't know, my own morning sickness never went beyond nausea. Well there was other stuff but all that was more frustrating than sickening.//*
Susan looked at Lyta in surprise.
*//Susan, be thankful that your mother had a hysterectomy before she was caught. It kept her out of the breeding program.//*
"Bree - oh God no they didn't Lyta say those rumors are NOT true they didn't SAY that - say that they didn't!"
"I don't want to talk about it. Susan . . . I need to talk with someone, maybe she can help, not every doctor here answers to earthforce. Only the human ones do. Mine isn't, so she doesn't. But I don't know who you'd transfer to - she'd have to - oh no. No no no no no no no don't give me that look! Please I know we're the same blood type but I - I - " She was backing away physically as well as mentally, but it did no good.
"Lyta, please. I know you. I trust you! You've got a lot more anonyminity than I do. You've got protection from the Corps granted by Sheridan! PLEASE! I can't let anyone else know!"
Lyta, shaking her head NO, had closed her eyes against the tears, muttering in several languages some rather colorful phrases, none of which were very polite, by then overcome with fear.
Susan was insistant, then she grew loud and angry. "Lyta, come on, you could get away with it! It's not like you haven't been seen staying overnight in Zack Allan's quarters! Oh he's never said anything, but did you seriously think the two of you could ~not~ be noticed? No matter you discreet you might be in public, there isn't an officer here that hasn't clued in by now! The only reason more haven't gossiped on it is that they know how much you helped in the Shadow war! But me? I re-joined Earthforce! I'm a career officer! I can't let myself go NEAR the rogues from now on with Bester returning so soon! I can't deal with this problem then! It has to be NOW! Look, if you don't tell Zack, he won't know it's not his! He's a mundane he'd never know! It's not like you've let anyone else near you and Zack knows that! Stop crying and talk to me! I need you to do this! I ~order~ you to do this!"
"But Zack and I haven't - we haven't - I've tried to but I couldn't I know he wants to as much as I do - but this THING Ulkesh forced into me won't let me! Zack would know, and he'd never forgive me for betraying his trust! I'd lose the only friend I have left that I can trust! Who doesn't hate me or fear me, he'd turn away and abandon me!"
Susan didn't let one sobbed word register. "Lyta! You have to do this for me! You HAVE to!" Susan grabbed her by the wrists and pulled Lyta's hands away from hiding her face, then used her other hand to take Lyta's hair, right next to the scalp, and yanked Lyta's head around to make the woman face her. "Stop crying! Now who is your doctor, and where is he? We need to do this now! Tonight, if not, then by tomorrow morning. My next shift starts at noon and if I'm pregnant now I will not be by then!! Call you doctor NOW!!"
Lyta submitted with a faint whimper and tried to nod, too stiff to respond when Susan leaned over and embraced her.
"Call your doctor." Susan gave Lyta a slight push towards the doorway.
"I have to clean up. I'm a mess, but this problem is going to be solved. I can fix this." She reassured herself after watching Lyta dry her tears on a sleeve and head for the communications console. "Soon I can forget Byron ever existed." //I don't want to forget him. But I have to, so I can survive this.// She turned on the shower, then stripped, letting the water wash away the sweat, shame, and semen that covered her. Then she let a terrified Lyta lead her to the Minbari quarter of red sector.
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